Cliff Arquette (aka "Charlie Weaver") died Sep. 23, 1974
deb...@comcast.net
Clifford Arquette (December 28, 1905-September 23, 1974) was an actor
and comedian, famous for his role as Charley Weaver. In his Charley
Weaver persona, he was a regular on the original version of the
television show Hollywood Squares. He is also the father of the late
actor Lewis Arquette and grandfather of actors Rosanna Arquette,
Patricia Arquette, Alexis Arquette and David Arquette.
Cliff died of a stroke in 1974 at the age of 68.
R H Draney
Which (if I've done the math right) makes him the grandfather-in-law of Courtney
Cox....
No relation, despite the stage name, to Sigourney Weaver, whose uncle was known
to millions as Doodles....r
deb...@comcast.net
Courtney
Cox....
And, for awhile, he was the grandfather-in-law of Nicolas Cage, when
Cage ws married to Patricia Arquette.
deb...@comcast.net
Courtney
Cox....
And for awhile, he was the grandfather-in-law of of Nicolas Cage, when
Cage was married to Patricia Arquette.
robertc...@yahoo.com
A man with a very sharp wit, to say the least. He probably did more
for the image of old men than any other actor of his time.
doc
@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
Christ! I'm getting old. I remember Charley Weaver, Paul Lynde, et al.,
just like it was yesterday.
AAMOF,to be frank, I remember them a whole lot better than I remember
yesterday...
deb...@comcast.net
al.,
just like it was yesterday.
Not to mention ol' Wally Cox!
Peter Marshall:"Now, what is it that Underdog says?"
Wally Cox: "Where are my residuals?!"
R H Draney
And therefore the uncle-in-law--or something--of Francis Ford Coppola....
(Kevin Bacon is probably around here somewhere)....r
James Neibaur
> A man with a very sharp wit, to say the least. He probably did more
> for the image of old men than any other actor of his time.
And a noted "swinger" into wife-swapping and other such activities. Some
great stories about him floating around.
JN
James Neibaur
> Not to mention ol' Wally Cox!
>
> Peter Marshall:"Now, what is it that Underdog says?"
> Wally Cox: "Where are my residuals?!"
Peter Marshall: What did Smokey The Bear die of?
Paul Lynde: Well, let's just say that afterward they had to sedate Ranger
Bob.
JN
Brad Ferguson
<jnei...@wi.rr.com> wrote:
I found a bunch of these years ago. I forget where. Here goes:
Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie
"What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question.
-----
What are "dual-purpose cattle" good for that other cattle aren't?
PAUL LYNDE: They give milk... and cookies, but I don't recommend the
cookies.
-----
Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
CHARLEY WEAVER: His feet.
-----
According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than
drinking. What?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Not drinking.
-----
You're on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki.
Why?
PAUL LYNDE: It was a long plane ride.
-----
If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how
high?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
-----
You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
DON KNOTTS: That's what's been keeping me awake.
-----
Is there any such thing as an F cup in bra sizes?
PAUL LYNDE: Yes, it sleeps four.
-----
True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than
they do in their pajamas.
PAUL LYNDE: Yes. We call them winos.
-----
According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about
sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?
PAUL LYNDE: Where can I get some?
-----
Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you
try to break him of his habit?
JOAN RIVERS: Yes. It's daddy's turn.
-----
There are two things a woman should expect from her husband. One is
fidelity, what is the other?
PAUL LYNDE: Infidelity.
-----
Was Snow White a brunette or a blonde?
PAUL LYNDE: Only Walt Disney knew for sure.
-----
Paul, according to Masters and Johnson, what's the first thing most
women do immediately after sex?
PAUL LYNDE: Wake up.
-----
We all know that men have female hormones in their bodies...but does a
woman have male hormones in her body?
PAUL LYNDE: Occasionally.
-----
You've heard of the phrase "A pig in a poke"...what's a "poke"?
PAUL LYNDE: It's when you're not really in love.
-----
According to experts, the worst time for sex is right after...what?
PAUL LYNDE: Surgery.
-----
According to experts, is it ever okay to use a vacuum cleaner on your
dog?
PAUL LYNDE: I think it's better to walk him.
-----
Paul, how many men are on a hockey team?
PAUL LYNDE: Oh, about half.
-----
True or false - a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
GEORGE GOBEL: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.
-----
According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
he's really attractive, is it all right to come out directly and ask
him if he's married?
ROSE MARIE: No, wait until morning.
-----
Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
CHARLEY WEAVER: My sense of decency.
-----
What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get it."?
GEORGE GOBEL: I don't know but it's come from the next apartment.
-----
As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
while you are talking?
ROSE MARIE: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter, and I'll
give you a gesture you'll never forget!
-----
Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
any during your first year?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Of course not; I'm too busy growing strawberries!
-----
In bowling, what's a perfect score?
ROSE MARIE: Ralph, the pin boy.
-----
It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is politics. What is the other?
PAUL LYNDE: Tape measures.
-----
During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
ROSE MARIE: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
-----
Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
MARTY ALLEN: Only after lights out.
-----
According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the
habit of kissing a lot of people?
CHARLEY WEAVER: It got me out of the army!
-----
While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
What does that mean?
GEORGE GOBEL: Cattle crossing.
-----
It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
PAUL LYNDE: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!
-----
Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
CHARLEY WEAVER: A divorcée.
-----
Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
GEORGE GOBEL: Get it in his mouth.
-----
Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
PAUL LYNDE: Who told you about my elephant?
-----
When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
CHARLEY WEAVER: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
-----
James Stewart did it over 20 years ago, when he was 41 years old. Now
he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?
MARTY ALLEN: Rhonda Fleming.
--
FREE JUDITH MILLER
Jim Beaver
"Brad Ferguson" <thir...@frXOXed.net> wrote in message
news:230920052204260864%thir...@frXOXed.net...
>
> Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie
> "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
>
> CHARLEY WEAVER: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question.
"True or false: Over half of all Americans can trace their ancestry back to
the Pilgrims.
PAUL LYNDE: I guess Priscilla Alden really did come across on the
Mayflower.
Jim Beaver
James Neibaur
> I found a bunch of these years ago. I forget where. Here goes:
(snip)
god those were funny, thanks very much for posting them.
JN
Bob Feigel
<jumb...@prodigy.spam> magnanimously proffered:
<http://www.manbottle.com/humor/Hollywood_Squares.htm>
Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?
Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.
Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party
and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly
and ask him if he's married?
Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get
older?
Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Peter Marshall: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say
"I love you"?
Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the
gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?
Paul Lynde: I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.
Peter Marshall: What are "Do It," "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?
George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.
And more ...
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: ; That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitain, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if
he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps.
One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the CampFireGirls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what woul d you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting
into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. Whatare they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do
in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." - Woody Allen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wax-up and drop-in of Surfing's Golden Years: <http://www.surfwriter.net>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ingrid56
news:BF5A25AD.6160F%jnei...@wi.rr.com
I'm so damn old now that I heard most of them when they were actually
delivered on Hollywood Squares. Charlie Weaver, Paul Lynde and George
Gobel had the best comebacks, imo. They just don't make 'em like
Charlie Weaver and George Gobel anymore.
Jack
James Neibaur
> I'm so damn old now that I heard most of them when they were actually
> delivered on Hollywood Squares. Charlie Weaver, Paul Lynde and George
> Gobel had the best comebacks, imo. They just don't make 'em like
> Charlie Weaver and George Gobel anymore.
I also remember them well, and agree completely
JN
bud smith
"James Neibaur" <jnei...@wi.rr.com> wrote in message
news:BF5A2BD3.6161B%jnei...@wi.rr.com...
GoldenDally
He was only 68? He sure looked a lot older than that. Was he made up
to look older?
gd
bud smith
"GoldenDally" <truet...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1127532065.6...@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> deb...@comcast.net wrote:
>> >From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
>> Clifford Arquette (December 28, 1905-September 23, 1974) was an actor
>> and > He was only 68? He sure looked a lot older than that. Was he made
doc
be committed for life. What are the two words?
Paul Lynde: I'm Napoleon.
(Good God, but I had some great belly laughs from Lynde, Gobel, Cox, Weaver
and the others. Today's wags just can't recapture the magic, IMO.)
Kathi
And one of the best things, for those of us who remember THS, is you
can "hear" their voices when reading these. Paul Lynde was the master
of sarcastic smarm. I had such a crush on him - but mom said I
couldn't marry him because he was Catholic. I guess that was
MomSpeak(tm) in the 60's for "he's not the marrying type."
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King Daevid MacKenzie
...whenever the original "Hollywood Squares" gets brought up, I'm
surprised almost nobody seems to recall my favourite running gag, the
sniping between Vincent Price and Rose Marie whenever they were both on
the program. They approached it with a relish that made one wonder
exactly how much of it was real and how much was a Jack Benny/Fred
Allen-type mock feud...
--
--
King Daevid MacKenzie, WLSU-FM 88.9 La Crosse, Wisconsin, USA
heard again soon at http://whiterosesociety.org
"Rarely can we applaud the majority." JAMES NEIBAUR
R H Draney
>
>...whenever the original "Hollywood Squares" gets brought up, I'm
>surprised almost nobody seems to recall my favourite running gag, the
>sniping between Vincent Price and Rose Marie whenever they were both on
>the program. They approached it with a relish that made one wonder
>exactly how much of it was real and how much was a Jack Benny/Fred
>Allen-type mock feud...
Right up there with Demond Wilson's mock indignation at getting any question
with a stereotyped racial subtext...the angrier he got, the more his questions
turned to tap-dancing, shoe-shining, and watermelon....r