I'm done with drinking

[jazee...@gmail.com]

Just went two months without it, no big deal. But last night I decided I needed to 'relax' and got myself two bottles of weak wine, about 10%. I felt the hangover moving in right off the bat. My nose got stuffed up. I began sneezing. I felt like crap. I have experienced this before, but this was quicker than usual. I always suspected I was allergic to alcohol, yet I spent a lot of time consuming it over the years, which only goes to show what a huge masochistic asshole I have always been. Besides, I don't need to drink to get a hangover.

Also, please ignore this if you've heard it before, it's something I thought of years ago - about always keeping at least one bad habit on hand for when you might need one to give up.

You wake up one day feeling like shit after drinking all night, so you give up drinking and you feel better.

You wake up short of breath one day after smoking for years, so you quit smoking and you feel better.

You wake up feeling out of shape and overweight and weak, so you join the gym and start working out and you feel better.

Then you day you wake up feeling worse than ever but don't have any bad habits left to give up. That's when you know the jig is up. Better to always keep at least one bad habit on hand.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Life is a bad habit

[jewe...@gmail.com]

Wine??????? You little smell ass birch
All you do is wine

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Tuesday, April 4, 2017 at 10:13:46 AM UTC-4, jewe...@gmail.com wrote:
> Wine??????? You little smell ass birch
> All you do is wine

What are you doing in this thread? I thought you were deeply entrenched in the Dog Love thread, the first time in a long time I saw you post more than once into a thread. Now here you are once again whining about me whining when I am not whining at all, merely explaining that I am a wimp, admitting it in fact, which takes a lot of courage, and cannot handle the ravaging effects of alcohol and what it does to my body, mind and spirit. You sicken me Jewett. All you do is complain and you don't even do it with style or grace. You need to read my book - "The Art of Creative Complaining" - and then get back with me. In the meantime, shut the fuck up crybaby.

TJ

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Tuesday, April 4, 2017 at 10:12:48 AM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:

> Life is a bad habit

It's already been covered by Edgar Allan Poe and others I'm sure, that life is a disease and death is the cure. But in the meantime I enjoy breathing and am not ready to cash in my chips, not that I have many left. I like living. I am liking more and more each day, and it scares me, scares me to know that I'm beginning to like it more and more, likely meaning that time is about to run out and I can only hope that the ending is nice and slow in a non painful way. I hate phonies who say they want to die fast or doing something they love. Like dying? Do they love that? No really, I want it slow but painless, in the hospital or in bed at home would be ok, as long as I still have some kind of appetite for food and can breathe comfortably. Other than that I kind of consider myself already dead anyway as my desire for moving forward or getting more out of life was gone a long time ago and my purpose if any has already been served. As Eddie G said to Fred MacMurry in "Double Indemnity" - "Walter, you're all washed up." I'm done. I like the feeling. Being alive but almost dead - it's very calm, very restful, and I can only hope it lasts a long time.

Slow and peaceful, the only way to go

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

It will be a hard and painful death. Slow, very slow. An eternity.

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Wednesday, April 5, 2017 at 7:23:48 AM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:

> It will be a hard and painful death. Slow, very slow. An eternity.

There is always suicide. I'll go with slow and easy, and if it gets too hard there's always the cyanide pill. But even then there is hesitation. Like if you're on a jet plane and it's going down in a blazing ball of fire, people screaming in pain, you among them, you can always say fuck it and just take the pill. But you don't because you're weighed down by the enormous saddle of hope. The plane might correct itself, the blaze might go out, something positive might happen. Or how about if you're on a plane going down and things look hopeless but you've got a bottle of sleeping pills, so you gobble the entire bottle, and the plane lands more smoothly than you had thought, and people are swimming away from the wreck toward a nearby island, but you can't make the journey because the pills have put you into a stupor that won't allow you to swim, strong enough to enfeeble your doomed soul for a life saving swim, yet not strong enough to kill you. That would be a queer dilemma.

TJ

[jazee...@gmail.com]

Speaking of suicide, always a joyful analysis for me, I believe that if a person really wants to die they can do themselves in even in a padded cell with no clothing or items to use to assist in the project. They can jump up into the air as high as possible, then come down on their heads, over and over until they die. Or strangle themselves somehow, maybe in some kind of oddball yoga position where their legs are strained into an awkward position around their necks, so awkward and difficult to get into that it has to be learned over time, and once in position so strong that it cannot be undone before their windpipes surrender to the oddball squeeze and the life is drained out of their god forsaken bodies. Desire alone is not enough, ingenuity is required, but I submit that suicide is possible even without props. It would be entertaining to see our most inventive wanna die people thrust into situations demanding them to put their brains to good use for a quick and hopefully painless exit.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I hate flying and have thought of using a sleeping pill but don't for the reason you mentioned. Might need to be alert at any moment to smash my way through women and children and feeble people to get to the exit first.

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Thursday, April 6, 2017 at 7:23:33 AM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:

> I hate flying and have thought of using a sleeping pill but don't for the reason you mentioned. Might need to be alert at any moment to smash my way through women and children and feeble people to get to the exit first.

I have not flown since I was 17, 52 years ago, and have no plans on trying it in the future. I would hesitate to take the pill for the same reason. But I would not hesitate to smash my way through women and children for the exit doors.

By the way, that letter I sent to the editor where I asked, "If gender equality ever becomes the order of the day, will old fashioned policies like 'women and children first to the life rafts' still be in effect - some guy actually responded to it last week. His response was short and sarcastic but he ruined it at the end by injecting Donald Trump's name into it, as if my comments were designed to be so politically specific. I can understand that his reading was an interpretation and he knew I was being sarcastic, but his response would have been better had he not mentioned a politician's name to cap it off. Anyway, I won't fight a woman or child for a life raft. Instead, especially if the plane or boat goes down in heavy waves, I will simply wait for the woman and child to drown or freeze to death, tying their bloated bodies together with string and using them as a double-sized life raft, luxury style. It beats fighting them for a life raft as you might make it safely to shore only to find a group of angry heroes of first responder proportions waiting for you to teach you proper manners and remind you that women and children always come first.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

> y
> TJ

Originally women and children first meant if they made it then it was safe for the men.

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Saturday, April 8, 2017 at 10:46:10 AM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:

> Originally women and children first meant if they made it then it was safe for the men.

Aha, like food checkers for the King, seeing if it's poisoned or not. Everyone uses testers. Women do it too. They use extra long baby carriages to probe the street prior to crossing, sort of like a blind guy with a cane. Maybe there's a baby in the carriage, maybe not - but it's got really long handles and juts out a good 10 feet to probe the intersection before stepping off the curb.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

The russian army uses baby carriages with the enemies babies in them to clear mine fileds. It is a win win.

[ollies muther]

anytime anyone mentions old movies like "Double Indemnity" and "Postman Always Rings Twice", I always think of those entrance shots and wistful outdoor scenes of old run down gas stations and country inns and wondered to myself if I had only bought that old store for a song when I had the chance OY VEY WHAT WAS I THINKING!

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Sunday, April 9, 2017 at 3:20:10 PM UTC-4, ollies muther wrote:

> anytime anyone mentions old movies like "Double Indemnity" and "Postman Always Rings Twice", I always think of those entrance shots and wistful outdoor scenes of old run down gas stations and country inns and wondered to myself if I had only bought that old store for a song when I had the chance OY VEY WHAT WAS I THINKING!

Let's suppose for a moment you actually got your wish back then and had bought that old country store: would it still exist? What would you have done with it? Would it have been of benefit to anyone including even you? Would you still have the store today, and if so would you be bitching about its upkeep and other costs associated with it? Answer: "You talkin' 'bout Bozo? - yo dam right he be bitching 'bout it." Cause all he do, Bozo da Clown, the one we know and almost love - just about all he knows how to do is bitch and moan. And even that, if they turned it into a competition for money - best bitcher and moaner - the best from all over the world would show up to compete and Bozo would be exposed as an also ran in that category as well.

Sorry Boze, it be da truf

TJ

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Sunday, April 9, 2017 at 2:30:16 PM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:

> The russian army uses baby carriages with the enemies babies in them to clear mine fileds. It is a win win.

I'm surprised I have yet to read about a suicide style bomber using a fake baby that's really a bomb wearing baby clothing. Put it on a bench in an airport or train terminal, or at the mall, and wait for some concerned citizen to pick it up. It's triggered to go off the minute it's moved. There almost last thought is, "What a nice guy I am, I'm going to help this baby, get it to the right authorities", followed by his very last thought which is the sudden and who knows how long-lasting sound of a loud explosion with some kind of weird innate last-minute knowledge that something bad just happened to him. It would make people afraid to pick up babies or even come close to them. More people should be wary of children anyway, so maybe in the long haul it's a good teaching lesson.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I would get a woman to go to the baby. So I guess it is women and children first.

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Monday, April 10, 2017 at 7:23:04 AM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:

> I would get a woman to go to the baby. So I guess it is women and children first.

The scenes I like are the ones where a woman is saved from rape by a God who keeps asking her, "Are you sure you're alright, are you sure you're alright", and she's going, "Yes yes, everything is fine", but the guy doesn't leave, he just keeps moving in, slowly at first, then with a quick snaring dash till he takes her by force and perhaps before it's over makes it wonder if maybe the first guy might have been a little easier. I love the save by one to be trapped by the 'tother.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I always think about the story where the hero saves the girl from the villain and she falls for the hero that maybe the villain would have been better. You don't see what happens in the future where the hero beats her and leaves her where as the villain would have been loving to her. But then most women don't want to be loved and cared for they want a 'hero'.

There is a Shirley McLaine movie where there is a rich guy in love with her but she wants a poor man but then every man she marries ends up super rich and dies leaving her wealthier and wealthier. Finally at the end the original rich guy (played by Dean Martin) ended up a janitor and they meet again. She falls for him but never ells him she is rich. Called "What a way to go" I think. Had Dick Van Dyke, Paul Newman, Dean Martin, Robert Mitchum and I think Gene Kelly.

[jazee...@gmail.com]

Yeah, I saw that movie, a list of names type gathering. I've seen worse. Not a huge fan of Martin on screen. But let's get back to the topic of paragraph #1, more my cup of tea - the unresolved movie or story. I think that about almost every film, especially the romantic variety that ends with a happy marriage and that's it. But we know there's more to come. In fact I have long maintained all jokes aside that the highlight of almost any marriage is the wedding ceremony. From there it's all down hill. Ok, throw in the honeymoon, maybe, and the first week or two at home, just to be generous - but let's face it, after that it's all down hill.

Another annoying aspect of formulaic film making is the one where the audience is supposed to root for Man A to get Woman A even though Woman A is all set to marry Man B. What's worse is Man B is always portrayed as someone we're supposed to dislike. But if such is the case, what did Woman A see in him in the first place. So basically the direction the audience takes in rooting for or against a certain character is determined by who is playing the character. For example, in The Godfather, the families were all the same, loved the same music, ate the same food, worshipped the same God - yet we're supposed to root for the Corleonne Family because they have Al Pacino and Bobby DeNiro and James Caan and Marlon Brando while the other families have a bunch of guys we've never heard of. The Godfather films were technically well made but I had little interest in them and found them sort of boring story wise.

TJ

[jazee...@gmail.com]

On Tuesday, April 11, 2017 at 7:50:35 AM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:

> I always think about the story where the hero saves the girl from the villain and she falls for the hero that maybe the villain would have been better. You don't see what happens in the future where the hero beats her and leaves her where as the villain would have been loving to her. But then most women don't want to be loved and cared for they want a 'hero'.

I like a long succession of rapes each based on the one before it as one new hero after another drags the previous rapist off his damsel in distress before slamming his dick into her pussy for as long as it lasts for the next first responder to "come to her aid" and yank off the last guy to at least give the chick a bit of refreshment, like something new now and then instead of the same old rapist night after night. Even without sex or women at all, stories of people being saved only to be thrust into worse peril are always interesting. That plane filled with soccer players that went down of the Andes was a good one. Half the population was crushed on impact, including the pilots. It was cold out, the side of a mountain loaded with snow, so they survivors decided to leave the pilots where they were. The dead were taken out into the snow and buried face down. The survivors made the jet's fuselage into a home of sorts. It was freezing but they had each other, some blankets and food for while. They got settled in for the wait for the rescue when only 3 days or so after they landed on the mountain a giant avalanche came down the hill and killed half the population of the plane again. It was like one wild episode on top of another, and it was all true. I love those kinds of disasters, not just one major one, although they'll do too - but smaller ones heaped one after the other upon each other like cards in a deck being played by the world's fanciest magician.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

How about a movie showing the Claytons as the heroes instead of the Earps? I have read some accounts of the goings on in Tombstone and the Earps do not come off as so great. The Claytons were the locals and the Earps were interlopers.

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I never go on a plane with soccer players. Too skinny. You want to be on a plane with a sports team with lots of meat on their bones. Maybe a football team. Or a Sumo wrestling team.

[ollies muther]

I'd organize bus tours to visit the original Bozo de Niro "Postman Always Rings Twice" film set, sound stage, and roadside inn, gas station, and snack bar, and hire you as my man Friday and emergency substitute tour guide.

On Sunday, April 9, 2017 at 7:52:12 PM UTC-7, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Sunday, April 9, 2017 at 3:20:10 PM UTC-4, ollies muther wrote:
>
> > anytime anyone mentions old movies like "Double Indemnity" and "Postman Always Rings Twice", I always think of those entrance shots and wistful outdoor scenes of old run down gas stations and country inns and wondered to myself if I had only bought that old store for a song when I had the chance OY VEY WHAT WAS I THINKING!
>
>

> Let's suppose for a moment you actually got your wish back then and had bought that old country store: would it still exist? What would you have done with it?....

WHAT WOULDAH I'AH DONE WITH IT!? I'd advertise and organize bus tours to visit the Bozo de Niro "Postman Always Rings Twice" original location film set, roadside inn, gas station, and snack bar, and hire you as my emergency substitute tour guide and man Friday, eh flunky, now get back to WORK!

[jazee...@gmail.com]

I actually took that book out at the Allentown library - "Alive", about those soccer players that spent months on the side of a snowy mountain in the Andes. It was a remarkable story. I never could have made the trek. Wouldn't even have tried. It was cold out. It was wet. The 3 guys who started out after eating dead human meat to gain enough strength to try the trek, those guys could not be afraid of heights or they never could have made it over first one peak then another until finally they found a glacier and followed it down into pastures and some people who summoned help. I enjoyed reading the story. We need to get to the bottom of this though, the question being, "What sport produces the greatest true survivors?" So far it seems soccer has acquitted itself nicely. We need to find groups, not just athletes but people from all endeavors of employment - carnival barkers, factory workers, sewer workers, jet pilots, bank tellers, you name it - and send them into similarly perilous conditions to see who among them consistently emerges victorious if at all. In the meantime I'm afraid even scrawny I'd have to go with the soccer dudes over the sumo wrestlers or football players when it comes to being stranded on a snowy mountain. Now, at the bottom of the sea, or stuck in quick sand, well, those scenarios are different and do not apply here.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I vote for Dahmer.

[the dumb and dumber question Man]

On Tuesday, April 18, 2017 at 4:38:10 AM UTC-7, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 18, 2017 at 12:46:08 AM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > On Thursday, April 13, 2017 at 7:46:23 AM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 12, 2017 at 10:19:26 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > > > On Tuesday, April 11, 2017 at 7:50:35 AM UTC-4, OllieN...@aol.com wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > I always think about the story where the hero saves the girl from the villain and she falls for the hero that maybe the villain would have been better. You don't see what happens in the future where the hero beats her and leaves her where as the villain would have been loving to her. But then most women don't want to be loved and cared for they want a 'hero'.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > I like a long succession of rapes each based on the one before it as one new hero after another drags the previous rapist off his damsel in distress before slamming his dick into her pussy for as long as it lasts for the next first responder to "come to her aid" and yank off the last guy to at least give the chick a bit of refreshment, like something new now and then instead of the same old rapist night after night. Even without sex or women at all, stories of people being saved only to be thrust into worse peril are always interesting. That plane filled with soccer players that went down of the Andes was a good one. Half the population was crushed on impact, including the pilots. It was cold out, the side of a mountain loaded with snow, so they survivors decided to leave the pilots where they were. The dead were taken out into the snow and buried face down. The survivors made the jet's fuselage into a home of sorts. It was freezing but they had each other, some blankets and food for while. They got settled in for the wait for the rescue when only 3 days or so after they landed on the mountain a giant avalanche came down the hill and killed half the population of the plane again. It was like one wild episode on top of another, and it was all true. I love those kinds of disasters, not just one major one, although they'll do too - but smaller ones heaped one after the other upon each other like cards in a deck being played by the world's fanciest magician.
> > > >
> > > > TJ
> > >
> > >
> >
> >

> > I actually took that book out at the Allentown library - "Alive", about those soccer players that spent months on the side of a snowy mountain in the Andes. It was a remarkable story. I never could have made the trek. Wouldn't even have tried. It was cold out. It was wet. The 3 guys who started out after eating dead human meat to gain enough strength to try the trek, those guys could not be afraid of heights or they never could have made it over first one peak then another until finally they found a glacier and followed it down into pastures and some people who summoned help. I enjoyed reading the story. We need to get to the bottom of this though, the question being, "What sport produces the greatest true survivors?" So far it seems soccer has acquitted itself nicely. We need to find groups, not just athletes but people from all endeavors of employment - carnival barkers, factory workers, sewer workers, jet pilots, bank tellers, you name it - and send them into similarly perilous conditions to see who among them consistently emerges victorious if at all. In the meantime I'm afraid even scrawny I'd have to go with the soccer dudes over the sumo wrestlers or football players when it comes to being stranded on a snowy mountain. Now, at the bottom of the sea, or stuck in quick sand, well, those scenarios are different and do not apply here.
> >
> > TJ

"I'd never go on a plane with soccer players -- too skinny -- you wanna be on plane with sports teams and players with lots of meat on their bones -- like football players or Sumo wrestlers...

and make sure the team's last meal was Thai food, that shit stinks and burns but it'll keep you warm

[jazee...@gmail.com]

I picture a guy wearing a parka with the hood up and wind sweeping all around as the cameras zoom in on him announcing this weeks installment of "How to Live in Isolation", holding a small plastic plate of food and exclaiming, "Find out this week how to live longer in frigid temperatures" (right after commercial), and it comes back to him and he's still standing there in his parka and continues, "You see, Thai food is very spicy and that shit stinks and burns but it'll keep you warm..................", as he walks casually over to a large tent crowded with rotten teethed Inuits squatting with flown-in Thai packages on their knees, gobbling the heat inducing mixture and farting in babbling unison as happiness and the warmth of human companionship embraces all.

TJ