14/8 Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3F97619A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F93AFA3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Pinesol: A sad household cleaner.
> > > > >
> > > > > Joy: A happy household cleaner.
> > > > >
> > > > > Lysol: An untruthful household cleaner.
> > > >
> > > > Comet: A cleaner that's out of this world.
> > > >
> > > Trainee cook on an asteriod: Comet Chef.
> >
> > Clo-rox: Rocks that clean.
> >
> > Clor-ox: A draft animal that cleans.
> >
> (UK prefix)
>
> Chlorhexidine: Clean way to put a curse on the head of a college.
>
> Chlorococcum: Clean way to have intercourse.
>
> Chlorodyne: Clean restaurant.
>
> Chlorophyta: Clean boxer.
Would you like to take a Chloride or a Fluoride? Would you like to ride
in a Carbon?
Carbon Nate: Soft drink man.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:1103035825.7...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41BE9D5A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Q: why does an ocean going river get cold?
> > > > >
> > > > > A: because it has a shore throat.
> > > >
> > > > Floozy: Ocean with a cold.
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: Why was the beach wet?
> > >
> > > A: Because the sea weed!
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: How can you spot a Kosher beach?
> > >
> > > A: It has no foreshore.
> >
> > What did they say when they found E.T. washed up on the shore?
> > E.T. no foam home!
> >
> The best crack based on that was in some show or other - can't
remember
> which - where he picks up a public phone, says "ET phone home" and the
> operator says, "Very well. Please insert $600,000 for the first three
> minutes."
E.T.: Beverage on the Internet for aliens.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:422969F7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <voru107...@corp.supernews.com>, mba...@ev1.net,
Michael
> > > Balarama was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > >news:hOjjb.40287$SJ5....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > >>
> > > >> Dragon <drag...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> > > >> news:bmhuc0$neb$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
> > > >> > Mix some Plaster of Paris with your hair gel.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > You will get a hold that will last all day.
> > > >> > -
> > > >> > And all night
> > > >> > -
> > > >> > and all week.
> > > >
> > > >First we were plastered in Paris,
> > > >/ Then we were frying in Greece.
> > > >and it held all day.
> > > >
> > > And all night he was gettin' Ibizia with his chic..
> >
> > Tipping: Musical money given to waitresses and waiters.
>
> Gratuity: Beverage for people with seriously off-white teeth.
Chronos: Time traveling noses.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4254DFEE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4253589E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:425244B2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> > > > > > > news:424E6046...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > shelly <scouv...@bluemarble.net> wrote in message
> > > > > > > >
> news:<Pine.BSF.4.56.04...@tesla.bluemarble.net>...
> > > > > > > > > on 2004-10-14 at 05:05 <vija...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > >It's my pleasure to stretch it longer!
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > won't *somebody* think of the kittens?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Kitten: The 10th do it yourself package.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > You can trip over these if you go out on a moggie day!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Tool Kit: Cat that carries tools.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Most workmen use belts made of saddle-leather these days. They
think
> > > having
> > > > > all those various tools at the ready in the proximity of their
> wedding
> > > > > tackle makes 'em look dead butch, ducky!
> > > >
> > > > Proximity: Glove near by.
> > > >
> > > Proximity Fuse: Glove exploding nearby. (Swunword.)
> >
> > Primitive: Low tech glove.
> >
> Gauntlet: A small Gaunt.
Hamlet: Small pig meat.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:425244B2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:424E6046...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > shelly <scouv...@bluemarble.net> wrote in message
> > > > news:<Pine.BSF.4.56.04...@tesla.bluemarble.net>...
> > > > > on 2004-10-14 at 05:05 <vija...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > >It's my pleasure to stretch it longer!
> > > > >
> > > > > won't *somebody* think of the kittens?
> > > >
> > > > Kitten: The 10th do it yourself package.
> > >
> > > You can trip over these if you go out on a moggie day!
> >
> > Tool Kit: Cat that carries tools.
> >
> Most workmen use belts made of saddle-leather these days. They think
having
> all those various tools at the ready in the proximity of their wedding
> tackle makes 'em look dead butch, ducky!
Wedding Tackle: To get married on a football field, DURING the game!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:418EA192...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> kamyknickers wrote:
>
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > news:WPA7c.132720$sw3....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:405EC13B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:405D89CF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Kimba: Asian sheep.
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Kimbo: Asian sheep standing in a funny way!
> > > >
> > > > Kimbo: Asian decoration?
> > > >
> > > Mary had a little lamb
> > > And round its neck - a bow.
> > > Of radioactive cloth it was!
> > > The poor damned thing did glow!
> > >
> > > As it's a bit obs cure . .
> > >
> > > Akimbo:
> > > adverb: with hands on hips and elbows extending outward
(Example:
"She
> > > stood there stark naked with her nostrils akimbo")
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > have you been peeping again?
>
> Peeping: Musical toilet.
Royal Flush: Ditto, but in Buckingham Palace.
Buckingham: A rodeo pig.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Kathy <tnkt...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> news:o5hYb.4084$Fp5....@read1.cgocable.net...
> >
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > news:p_3Yb.87762$cL.4...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:a69c46fe.04021...@posting.google.com...
> > > > Commute: Silent computer.
> > > >
> > > > Compassion: Computer love.
> > > >
> > > > Comply: Wooden computer.
> > > >
> > > > Complex: Computer house.
> > > >
> > > > Ebay: Where computers can swim and fish E-fish-cent-lee.
> > > >
> > > > EC: Ocean of computers.
> > > >
> > > > Emotions: Computer feelings.
> > > >
> > > > Emotions: What happens during computer court proceedings.
> > > >
> > > > Irate: Price of Internet access.
> > >
> > > Bunch of idiots using linked computers: Nitwork.
> > >
> > E-flat: online apartment.
> >
> A-flat minor: What you find under a piano that's been thrown down a
> mineshaft!
B-flat: Under a piano that fell on a beehive.
Commit: To put a glove in a mental institution.
Econ: Rich Internet scam artist.
Icon: Another Internet scam artist.
Remittent: To put the glove in the tent again.
Tim Bruening
Nehmo Sergheyev wrote:
> At the strip mall down the street, a sign is announcing that soon we
> will have a "House of Sausage". I think they ought to choose a
different
> building material. There's a pack of stray dogs in the neighborhood!
Sacramento has an International House of Pancakes.
Packed Audience: Lots of suitcases in the auditorium.
nemo
Jimmy Durante's hooter must have taken a lonnnnnngg time!
nemo
A Comedy of Earers: Funny play about eaves-dropping.
nemo
Brings a hole new meaning to the idea of a scrum!
Rugby: An apine that lives in a carpet.
nemo
That's where Her Manglesty the Quacious Green holds her Privy Couincil
meetings.
>
> Buckingham: A rodeo pig.
nemo
Remittance: Formacidę used as payment for a bill.
nemo
Auditorium: A Roman Conservative driving an NSU car.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
This reminds me of the Buffy episode in which Spike gambled with kittens!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
What do Roman liberals drive?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
The Conservatives mad - by being right all the time!
nemo
>
> Nehmo Sergheyev wrote:
>
> > At the strip mall down the street, a sign is announcing that soon we
> > will have a "House of Sausage". I think they ought to choose a
> different
> > building material. There's a pack of stray dogs in the neighborhood!
>
> Sacramento has an International House of Pancakes.
With aEroplanes doing belly-flop landings on it all the time?
nemo
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh - so that's what tenterhooks are for!
nemo
He should have used tigers - then he'd have been dicing with death!!!
*.RARRRRRR! Sound of a compressed tiger!
>
nemo
Four Ale -ians: Spacemen who like a bar with a full range of old fashioned
beers.
nemo
Health and Safety hazard!
nemo
Buckingham Palance: A very ugly royal residense.
nemo
And then set fire to it. Not only would the heat be in tents, but if it were
a very large tent and it burnt down after putting up a brave struggle, one
could say, "The Marquee Dies Hard"!
nemo
Bullet: A small male bovine who goes BANG!
nemo
And both teams form a queue??
Tim Bruening
Nemo
Where big-mouthed Tories have their feasts: All dit Tory Yum!!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
This reminds me of the Buffy episode in which Spike gambled with
kittens!
Nemo
Packed film star: Lots of potatoes in the Audi Murphy!
Nemo
http://www.army.mod.uk/reme/3203.aspx
Nemo
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:48A513F6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
Tim Bruening
> > >
> > >
> > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > >
> > > > In article <voru107...@corp.supernews.com>, mba...@ev1.net,
> Michael
> > > > Balarama was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Dragon <drag...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> > > > >> news:bmhuc0$neb$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
> > > > >> > Mix some Plaster of Paris with your hair gel.
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > You will get a hold that will last all day.
> > > > >> > -
> > > > >> > And all night
> > > > >> > -
> > > > >> > and all week.
> > > > >
> > > > >First we were plastered in Paris,
> > > > >/ Then we were frying in Greece.
> > > > >and it held all day.
> > > > >
> > > > And all night he was gettin' Ibizia with his chic..
> > >
> > > Tipping: Musical money given to waitresses and waiters.
> >
> > Gratuity: Beverage for people with seriously off-white teeth.
>
> Chronos: Time traveling noses.
Jimmy Durante's hooter must have taken a lonnnnnngg time!
Tim Bruening
Nemo
Yers. It used to travel separately on a banana boat!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Kathy <tnkt...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> news:o5hYb.4084$Fp5....@read1.cgocable.net...
> >
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
Nemo
Aches!
Nemo
His well-populated garden: Econ Gnomey!
> Icon: Another Internet scam artist.
>
> Remittent: To put the glove in the tent again.
>
Tentative: A minor argument under canvas.