Ides Of March Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FBC637A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FBAFC87...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Racer: Knight of sunbeams.
> > > >
> > > > Progressing: Singing better and better.
> > > >
> > > Digressing: Colour getting better and better.
> >
> > Regressing: Singing worse and worse.
> >
> Retrogressing: Rocket landing far too fast!
Receding: To replant bell seeds.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Terror-Tory: Where Al-Qaida resides.
Terror-Tory: Margaret Thatcher at Halloween.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41146051...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40AC80D1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Marmoset wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Hear about the physician who left work early?
> > > > >
> > > > > They docked her pay
> > > >
> > > > Curate: Price of medicine.
> > > >
> > > > Operate: Price of surgery.
> > > >
> > > > Surgery: Medical knight.
> > >
> > > Curate: Measure of the success of medical treatments
> > >
> > > Anaesthetic: A flea that only bites those who profess great sensitivity
> to
> > > the beauty of art and nature.
> > >
> > > Beta Blockers: Drugs that stop people hanging up their carpets in the
> back
> > > yard and walloping all the dust out of them.
> >
> > Seerate: Price of a knight for sex.
>
> Seering agony: a bell tolling to indicate the result of him wearing a spiky
> armour condom!
Seering: A prophetic bell.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4113395D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > "Greg Evans" <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote in message
> > news:<10cps8u...@corp.supernews.com>...
> > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > >
> > > > I just have a good bit of expertise in citrus.
> > >
> > > That would explain the perpetual sour expression on Mrs. K's face.
> >
> > Does Larry sell Sublimes 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea?
>
> I'll go an av a look!
Have a sub see?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41133EAA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Dead rodent: Mouseover.
> >
> > Dead sheep: No more RAM.
> >
> > Ramming: A sheep vase.
>
> Foaming: The enemies of the dynasty.
Ramming: A China ruled by male sheep?
Tim Bruening
Encrypt: Where dead spies are buried.
Fan Club: A suit on a pack of fan cards.
Ice Code: Code used by spies who want to come in out of the cold.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> <big snip.
>
> Maxwell: Biggest hole in the ground containing water.
Does it make entropy go backwards?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41133F12...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Hauke Reddmann <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de> wrote in message
> > > news:ca1j1f$2et$1...@rzsun03.rrz.uni-hamburg.de...
> > > > 2020 the time machine was invented. Of course, its
> > > > functioning was tested with an animal first, like
> > > > in rocket science. Thus we experienced the first REAL
> > > > two-timing bitch.
> > > >
> > > Tutamen bitch? Must be a symbiotic guard dog.
> > >
> > > http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?tutamen
> >
> > Not an Egyptian pharaoh dog?
>
> Is that Anubis, or an old one?
Goa'uld we Goa'uld!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> mike wheeEler wrote:
>
> > In article <3F8B9EAF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the world oddly when:
> > >
> > >Conversion: A variant of criminal.
> > >
> > Conversion.. Air freshener ions emitted by old Converse tennis shoes..
>
> Micro: Not your crow.
Decibel: One tenth of a bell.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3F99F46F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <3F8B9EAF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the world
> oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >Conversion: A variant of criminal.
> > > >
> > > Conversion.. Air freshener ions emitted by old Converse tennis shoes..
> >
> > Micro: Not your crow.
> >
> Microphone: What you use to keep in touch with it.
Microbar: One millionth of a crowbar.
Crowbar: Where crows go to drink beer.
Tim Bruening
Johnnaishwerner wrote:
> I went to a Starving Artist Sale. But I didn't see any starving artists that I
> wanted to buy.
Have you ever been to a Flea Sale or a Yard Sale?:)
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On 28 Oct 2004 12:21:15 -0700, ancho...@yahoo.com (RJH) found these unused
> words floating about:
>
> >The Japanese chef Quo caused a good deal of controversy at this year's
> >Kalamari Cook-Off Competition when he made a secret deal to split the
> >winnings with the head judge. It was a case of Squid Pro Quo.
>
> But he fugu the 'secret sauce' and lost anyway.
Aquatic Terrorists: Suicide Squid!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> RJH <ancho...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:2a2566aa.04102...@posting.google.com...
> > The Japanese chef Quo caused a good deal of controversy at this year's
> > Kalamari Cook-Off Competition when he made a secret deal to split the
> > winnings with the head judge. It was a case of Squid Pro Quo.
> >
>
> Why was there a head judge? Was somebody cooking them?
Cooking the head judge?
Cooking the books?
Douglas D. Anderson
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote
> Pole Vault: Where Santa keeps his money, in a Snow Bank!
>
telephone wires are strung from the branches.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40014B91...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Rumble: Druken male cow.
>
> Tumble: Male cow with stomach(s) ache.
>
> Bumble: Male cow with sore arse/ass.
>
> Fumble: Male cow who's very clumsy.
>
> Humble: Male cow who'd like to be moo-sickle but can't remember the words -
> or who stinks!.
>
> Scumble: Male cow who's intensly disliked.
Grumble: Complaining bull.
Amble: Bull just walking along.
Scramble: Fast bull.
Compatible: Friendly bull.
Compatible: Electronic bull.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40AC8201...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Kathy wrote:
> >
> > > "Nehmo Sergheyev" <neh...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> > > news:pmz6b.1729$PE6....@newsread3.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> > > > At the strip mall down the street, a sign is announcing that soon we
> > > > will have a "House of Sausage". I think they ought to choose a
> different
> > > > building material. There's a pack of stray dogs in the neighborhood!
> > > >
> > > >
> > > We have a House of Hair locally. Can't wait for their staff to brush up
> on
> > > their skills.
> >
> > I've been to Taco Bell.
>
> I've listened to Pachel Bell. Very dissapointing. I was waiting for his
> Canon to go bang and it didn't!
Pac Bell: Musical luggage.
Tim Bruening
Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> On Thu, 20 May 2004 19:02:57 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
>
> >>>> A telemarketer was taking a survey.
> >>> No shit?
> >>
> >> <...pffffft!!...excuse me, I've got to go take a survey...>
> >
> >I don't think anyone's gonna be interested in your results.
>
> That was a very septic remark, Evans.
Sep Tic: The 7th dirty tick.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40AC948D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40307A11...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Comcast: Computerized actors.
> > > >
> > > > Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
> > >
> > > Arnie playing a gardener: The Germinator.
> >
> > Also Arnold playing a doctor.
>
> Doing amputations with a hand-held machine gun, the recoil from which would
> throw him back into the middle of next week?
A time gun?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EC42A2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:407A4056...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Attacker: Aggressive dog.
> > >
> > > Baker: Dog in San Francisco.
> > >
> > > Barker: Lawyer dog.
> > >
> > > Barker: Dog in prison.
> > >
> > > Barker: Dog who serves alcohol.
> > >
> > > Booker: Library dog.
> > >
> > > Bunker: Pastry dog.
> > >
> > > Clocker: Time keeping dog.
> > >
> > > Cocker Spaniel: Dog/rooster crossbreed.
> > >
> > > Cooker: Meal making dog.
> >
> > Tanker: Dog that's been sunbathing.
> >
> > Bicker: Dog that writes with a cheap Biro.
>
> Tanker: Dog carrying lots of oil.
>
Was his name Bowser?
Bowser: Canine knight.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bowser: K9 night.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bowser: Obsequious knight.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EBCE62...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Antonym: Ant who reverses word meanings.
>
> Autocrat: Car dictator.
>
> Automaton: Car robot.
>
> Avatar: One vat of road building material.
>
> Blatant: A very obvious ant.
>
> Button: 2,000 lb arse.
Someone once asked on here: did Isaac Azimov use puns?
I pelorat!
I've just realised: Billibotton = Belly button! (or Willie Bottom.)
I'm sure there are more. I Seldon do, but next time I read the series
he
wrote about us capturing our bombers - The Found Asian Series - I'll
write
'em all down!
Ohhhhhhhhhhh! The daring young man on the flying Trevize . . .
And if you Bayta trap, you might just catch a Mule!
Foundation and Umpire: Intergalactic cricket!
Or Intergalactic baseball.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EBD13...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:410DE9A9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > unidyne <uni...@cox.net> wrote in message
> > > > news:H1WMc.2294$zA4.338@lakeread04...
> > > > >
> > > > > "brigit bardot brigade" <brigit...@hotmail.com> wrote in
message
> > > > > news:3cd79f7a.04072...@posting.google.com...
> > > > > > longest day... i recall some critics called it the longest
movie.
> > > > >
> > > > > These were actually used in film reviews:
> > > > >
> > > > > Lost Horison : "Lost Investment"
> > > > > Howard the Duck: "Howard the Dead Duck"
> > > > > Heaven's Gate: "Heaven Knows Why"
> > > > > Dawn of the Dead: "Yawn of the Living"
> > > > > Don't Stop the Music : "PLEASE Stop the Music!"
> > > > > Xanadu: "Xana-don't"
> > > > > Waterworld: "Wat-ever For?"
> > > > > The Postman: "Return to Sender"
> > > > >
> > > > > ...and my personal favorite...
> > > > >
> > > > > The Sound of Music: "The Sound of Mucus"
> > > > >
> > > > I'll second that! I used to repair the telephones in the
Palace
Theatre
> > when
> > > > that horrible show was on. Trying to repair the blasted
switchboard
with
> > big
> > > > fat cows dressed as nuns bellowing scales in your ear!!
> > >
> > > Fish scales or weighing scales?
> > >
> > Musical scales of coarse!
>
> To weigh notes?
Musical puns! They're suffocating me! I can't breve!
Note book: Book with music inside.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EBFF05...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Alan wrote:
>
> > On Sat, 08 Jan 2005 19:39:29 -0800, Tim Bruening
> > <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >
> > >Where does steel wool come from?
> > >
> > >Iron sheep.
> >
> > I thought it was pig iron, not sheep iron?
>
> Do iron pigs make iron hams?
>
> Cast Iron: Iron Hams/Actors.
I'm not omnes-scient, but it might just be that the Dramatis Personę
are all
poofs!
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/203375.html
Castigate: Gate that heals broken limbs.
Tim Bruening
Subcast: Actors in an underwater play. They must follow the subplot.
Subceller: Lowest part of an underwater house.
Subceller: To sell submarines.
Subdean: What happened to Dean's poll numbers.
Suburban: To ban mermaids.
Tim Bruening
Subcellular: Underwater cell phone.
Subcompact: Agreement among merperson and fish nations.
Subprogram: What runs an underwater computer.
Subshell: Outside of a submarine.
Tim Bruening
Onkel Petey wrote:
> Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> >
> > "Keith E." wrote:
> >
> >
> >>Fri, 30 Jan 2004 21:43:07 -0500 was a day just like any other,
> >>until "Greg Evans" <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> >>
> >>>Keith E. wrote:
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>>>>Working in perfect harmony
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>Harmony? You're having chili pygthurr, huh?
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Harmony, harmony, let's all join in harmony.
> >>>>
> >>>><pfffft>
> >>>><brrraaAAPPPPPP!!!!>
> >>>
> >>>It's been done - 30 years ago, c/o Mel Brooks.
> >>
> >>'74? That's smack-dab in the middle of the hazy '66-'80 period.
> >
> >
> > I went to Ithica, NY that year!
> >
> Umm, I think you mean Ithaca, New York. That's in the heart of Cornell.
Cornell: An a-maizing bell.
Tim Bruening
Alan wrote:
> On Sat, 31 Jan 2004 13:30:25 -0800, Larry Krzewinski
> <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
>
> >On Sat, 31 Jan 2004 20:28:15 GMT, Alan <bogf...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>>>Sounds like sharp advice
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>Try to really avoid the ones named "Barb-y."
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>You met Barb Dwyer?
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Yeah, but I was sorta on the fence about her.
> >>>>
> >>>>I heard she had a lot of stile.
> >>>
> >>>She was more than a little loopy, if you ask me.
> >>
> >>She was strung out when I saw her.
> >
> >And probably dumb as a post.
>
> Well, a Pole anyway.
Gallup, Zogby, ABC, CBS, or etc...?
Zogby: Apine that asks political questions.
nemo
Bullhead Rail: A bovine-looking bird.
Flat-bottomed Rail: A small wading bird who suddenly forgot how to fly at
10,000 feet!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - SPLATT!
nemo
Pack-A-Mac: Musical Scottish plastic raincoat made in either half of a
two-part country bordering India.
And what was it that made Kruschev Bangla Desh with his shoe at the UN like
that all those years ago?
nemo
A form of blood poisoning that makes sufferers very doubtful that as to
whether they've actually got it: Scepticćmia.
Nemo
Not for nothing the Indy Fatty Gobble NUmbo One Punster!
nemo
There was one in 'Red Dwarf.' It regressed some guy's canary back into a
T-Rex and it ate 'im!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dwarf_%28TV_series%29
Holly (the ship's computer with an IQ of 6000, the same IQ as 6000 PE
teachers)
I can attest to that. Mr. Grove, Mr. Shepherd, Mr. Osbourne and Mr. Berryman
didn't have four brain cells between them never mind four whole IQ points!
nemo
Bowzantine: A period in history when all water was carried around in large
tanker trucks.
nemo
K9? What? All at once? You'd need a very long stick and you'd have to get
them all lined up very carefully indeed.
Jimmy Edwards managed it in 'Whacko!' though - almost!
http://www.whirligig-tv.co.uk/tv/adults/whacko/whacko.htm
nemo
Obsidian knight. Transparent when cut into thin pieces.
And a load of utter twaddle!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsidian_%28Transformers%29
nemo
Dunno anything about that, except it's a more aggressive version of Rounders
like what we used to have to play at school and I used to hide! I loathed
sprots - and sports - especially team games!
That's why me and a few others chose running. We used to run round and round
Canon's Park until the teachers stopped looking, then dodge down the shallow
stream in a cutting that ran across the field and wade through under a
railway embankment into the next field - and so did some of the girls who
had the northern half of the field! ;o))))))))))))))
nemo
Man U's crypt: Musical church cellar belonging to a famous soccer team.
nemo
Cor! Nell!!! : Oft said when seeing Ms. Gwynne!
nemo
Vas zogt er mit deiser politisher fragen?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Also an ere when arrows were popular.
nemo
Boatswain arrows?
Forecastle start shooting each other!
Tizcir: Hineh 'Alom Shem!
or because I like cats - Al Moggie!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EBD13...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
That's an MS book - although it's not contageous.
nemo
Plastered people fall down and get those, and then get plastered again!
nemo
Rural: Where there are lots of lions!
nemo
Narr. That'd be 'frageby'.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EC42A2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:407A4056...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Attacker: Aggressive dog.
> > >
> > > Baker: Dog in San Francisco.
> > >
> > > Barker: Lawyer dog.
> > >
> > > Barker: Dog in prison.
> > >
> > > Barker: Dog who serves alcohol.
> > >
> > > Booker: Library dog.
> > >
> > > Bunker: Pastry dog.
> > >
> > > Clocker: Time keeping dog.
> > >
> > > Cocker Spaniel: Dog/rooster crossbreed.
> > >
> > > Cooker: Meal making dog.
> >
> > Tanker: Dog that's been sunbathing.
> >
> > Bicker: Dog that writes with a cheap Biro.
>
> Tanker: Dog carrying lots of oil.
>
Was his name Bowser?
Bowser: Obsequious knight.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bowser: K9 night.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bowser: Canine knight.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40AC948D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40AC8201...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Kathy wrote:
> >
> > > "Nehmo Sergheyev" <neh...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> > > news:pmz6b.1729$PE6....@newsread3.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> > > > At the strip mall down the street, a sign is announcing that soon we
> > > > will have a "House of Sausage". I think they ought to choose a
> different
> > > > building material. There's a pack of stray dogs in the neighborhood!
> > > >
> > > >
> > > We have a House of Hair locally. Can't wait for their staff to brush up
> on
> > > their skills.
> >
> > I've been to Taco Bell.
>
> I've listened to Pachel Bell. Very dissapointing. I was waiting for his
> Canon to go bang and it didn't!
Pac Bell: Musical luggage.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42664B4B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Stubble: Male bovine with a small beard.
> >
> > Stumble: A male bovine trips.
> >
> > Topic: Top of a photo.
> >
> > Tumble: Stomach of a male bovine.
> >
> > Wanton: 2,000 pound Chinese.
> >
> > Warble: Aggressive male bovine.
> >
> > Wobble: Shaky male bovine.
>
> Percy Bish Jelly: Wobbly poet.
>
> Percy Fish Jelly: Wobbly poet but they put the wrong flavouring in.
Percy: Price of an ocean.
Tim Bruening
Providing: Bell that wins the bread and brings home the beacon.
Putting: Bell at the golf course.
Quitting: Bell that leaves the race.
Ratting: Rodent bell.
Rating: Bell that provides ranks.
Setting: Bell that puts plates on the table.
Tim Bruening
Boarding: Wooden bell.
Compounding: Bell at a computerized dog pound.
Dating: Calender bell.
Dating: Romance bell.
Dating: Fruit bell.
Dating: Bell that only rings in the daytime.
Defeating: Bell that lost.
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
> "meat n potatoes" <bagelncr...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:1d7e07b1.04031...@posting.google.com...
> > you can't hide your lion eyes
>
> >she had no pride
How roarable!
Roarable: Lion bull.
Tim Bruening
Acorn: One corn on your foot.
Apricot: Where fruit sleep.
Ascot: Where a donkey sleeps.
Boycott: Where a male kid sleeps.
Tim Bruening
Ditty: Poetic tea.
Dotty: Tea that makes spots.
Miming: Chinese vase that doesn't speak.
Minty: Minimum tea.
Mystic: Magical parasite.
Nasty: Cruel tea.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4192FAD1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Seeking: Ruler of the 7 Seas.
> >
> > Seeking: King who searches.
> >
> > Seeking: Observe the male monarch.
> >
> > Shaking: Vibrating king.
> >
> > Shaking: Powerful king.
> >
> > Shaking: King of earthquakes.
> >
> > Sinking: Drowning king.
> >
> > Stinking: Bad smelling king.
> >
> > Taking: King who steals.
> >
> > Tanking: King in the Army.
>
> Norman leader in the First Crusade: "Tancredy? OK. Open fire!!"
"Fire at Will"!
Normandy: Demon in a province in northern France.
Tim Bruening
Dealing: Baby deal.
Decoy: Demon distraction.
Defy: Rebellious demon.
Deny: Ungenerous demon.
Despoil: Demon that trashes the environment.
Tim Bruening
Comely: Handsome computer, or a Korean computer.
Coming: Chinese computer vase, or a computer in climax.
Compel: Computer that controls you.
Compile: Stack of computers.
Comply: Wooden computer.
Tim Bruening
Flapping: Musical wings.
Floating: Bell on the water.
Flouting: Defiant bell.
Fusing: Not many songs.
Fluting: Not many bells, and/or bells with influenza.
Tim Bruening
nemo
Ides Of March: Places where travelling soldiers conceal themselves.
Nemo.
Ohhhh! It's really like being in heaven, to retire in 2007!!
(sings)
I'm in the money!
The flames are funny!
The lump sum's in the bank - I couldn't care less!
nemo
Water Cart -ographer he was as well!
nemo
There was one of those in Red Dwarf!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dwarf
It's those A Time bombs you gotta be really careful of!
nemo
Valise: Low places between mountains where luggage is stored.
nemo
O Bish Shelley he was a very good poet!
Yes and at the back there, I can see Ruddyard Kipling! . . . . . STOP IT!
You'll go deaf!
(ISIRTA)
10 Es son is pretty good to!
Electricians' fees: The Charge of the Light Brigade! . . . or . . .
A battle which took place between Islington Traffic Wardens
and militant motorists who had been deliberately blocking
the infamous Upper Street Clearway.
The Charge of the Ticket Brigade.
Half a league, Half a league,
Half a league onward.
Into the Clearway of death
Strode the Six Hundred.
"Forward the Ticket Brigade!
Charge for the cars," he said:
Into the Clearway of death
Strode the Six Hundred.
Forward the Ticket Brigade,
Was there a one dismayed?
Not though a Warden knew
Someone had blundered.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Just stick 'em on and die!
Into the Clearway of death
Strode the Six Hundred.
Cars to the right of them,
Cars to the left of them,
Cars right in front of them,
Honked, revved and thundered.
Sworn at with shout and yell,
Boldly they wrote and well,
Into the mouth of Hell
Strode the Six Hundred.
Flashed all their binders bare,
Drivers white with dispair,
Tickets flew through the air,
Charging an army, while
All the world wondered.
Plunged in the exhaust smoke,
Right through the line they broke,
Austin and Honda
Reel'd from the pen's swift stroke
Shattered and sundered. . .
Then they strode back but not,
Not the Six Hundred.
Cars to the right of them,
Cars to the left of them,
Cars right in front of them,
Honked, revved and thundered.
Stormed at with pen and book,
Stuck on and numbers took,
One chap copped a left hook!
Those that had writ so well,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of Six Hundred.
When will their tickets fade,
Will they be ever paid?
C.T.O. wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Ticket Brigade,
Noble Six Hundred!
(C.T.O. was the organisation that processed the parking
tickets: Central Ticket Office. The whole thing is run by
local councils now - and not nearly so well!)
nemo
Looks like you're playing a game of morebells again!
nemo
Ascot: Race course on which a donkey who likes hot water sleeps.
nemo
What the Yugoslavian NSPCC used to deal with: Cruel Tito children!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44191F42...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:42EBCE62...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > Antonym: Ant who reverses word meanings.
> > >
> > > Autocrat: Car dictator.
> > >
> > > Automaton: Car robot.
> > >
> > > Avatar: One vat of road building material.
> > >
> > > Blatant: A very obvious ant.
> > >
> > > Button: 2,000 lb arse.
> >
> > Someone once asked on here: did Isaac Azimov use puns?
> >
> > I pelorat!
> >
> > I've just realised: Billibotton = Belly button! (or Willie Bottom.)
> >
> > I'm sure there are more. I Seldon do, but next time I read the series
> > he
> > wrote about us capturing our bombers - The Found Asian Series - I'll
> > write
> > 'em all down!
> >
> > Ohhhhhhhhhhh! The daring young man on the flying Trevize . . .
> >
> > And if you Bayta trap, you might just catch a Mule!
> >
> > Foundation and Umpire: Intergalactic cricket!
> >
> > Or Intergalactic baseball.
>
> Dunno anything about that, except it's a more aggressive version of Rounders
> like what we used to have to play at school and I used to hide! I loathed
> sprots - and sports - especially team games!
>
> That's why me and a few others chose running. We used to run round and round
> Canon's Park until the teachers stopped looking, then dodge down the shallow
> stream in a cutting that ran across the field and wade through under a
> railway embankment into the next field - and so did some of the girls who
> had the northern half of the field! ;o))))))))))))))
Did you boink each other silly?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40AC948D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EC42A2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:407A4056...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Attacker: Aggressive dog.
> > >
> > > Baker: Dog in San Francisco.
> > >
> > > Barker: Lawyer dog.
> > >
> > > Barker: Dog in prison.
> > >
> > > Barker: Dog who serves alcohol.
> > >
> > > Booker: Library dog.
> > >
> > > Bunker: Pastry dog.
> > >
> > > Clocker: Time keeping dog.
> > >
> > > Cocker Spaniel: Dog/rooster crossbreed.
> > >
> > > Cooker: Meal making dog.
> >
> > Tanker: Dog that's been sunbathing.
> >
> > Bicker: Dog that writes with a cheap Biro.
>
> Tanker: Dog carrying lots of oil.
>
Was his name Bowser?
Bowser: Obsequious knight.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bowser: K9 night.
nemo
And the deck is the K Sing.
And the diving planes are there so it can submerge quickly if the Loo Couts
spot any diving planes!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116130/
Another absolute scream!
Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
nemo
Nobleman who wore very poofy armour more appropriate to the dance floor:
Obsequinous knight.
Nobleman: Knight who's had his male bovine stolen!
nemo
. . . and water mess there was when someone left its cock open!
Shortly afterwards, another dog went bang and someone it was pointing at
died!
The bloke in charge, Ken Nell, said to his assistant, "I've told you never
to Cocker Spaniel when it's loaded!"
nemo
Chinese porter in alarm to a hotel guest after a truck ran into her small
piece of luggage for holding cosmetics and toiletries: "Van hittee case! Van
hittee case! Van hittee case! . . "
nemo
There was one of those in http://www.reddwarf.co.uk/news/index.cfm
A bloke's canary accidentally got hit and regressed in time until it was a
dinosaur - and then it ate im!!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40AC948D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EC42A2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Bowser: Obsequious knight.