1/15 Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:47898120...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41E60A8A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > On 06 Jan 2004 21:27:19 GMT
> > > > > earlo...@aol.com (Earlofduke2) wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > What does an oyster bar taste like? Is it covered with
> chocolate?
> > > > >
> > > > > I don't care, uh, Mel. I /do/ know that lobster bars
> shouldn't be
> > > > > thrown fast and straight.
> > > >
> > > > Sand Bar: Very gritty candy.
> > >
> > > Dogger Bank: Where canines keep their money.
> > >
> > > http://www.bartleby.com/65/do/DoggerBa.html
> > >
> > > "We've run aground!! Oh my cod!!"
> >
> > Soap Bar: Very clean candy, or alcohol vender, or jail, or lawyer
> group.
>
> A London Inn of Court occupied by a group of lawyers who deal with
> vice
> cases: Lincoln Sin.
Do they drive Lincoln cars or play with Lincoln logs?
> An Inn of Court occupied by a group of lawyers who deal with vice
> cases
> involving little spindley men from flying saucers: Grey Sin.
How about men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives, spoons, etc...
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:458CAFF3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:43AD1025...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Beeming: A bee Chinese vase.
> > > >
> > > > Beating: A bee bell.
> > > >
> > > > Beeping: Another bee bell.
> > >
> > > Porcine testes: What you hang on your Christmas tree.
> >
> > Pig balls?
> >
> Boar Balls! - as in 'bangles and beads.'
Base Ball: Party at a military fortification.
Foot Ball: Party of ambulatory appendages.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:458C9A57...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Mos <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > news:10eujoi...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > Mos <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > > > news:10etabh...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > >> Alan wrote:
> > > > >>> On Fri, 09 Jul 2004 11:22:56 GMT, "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass.wet>
> > > > >>> wrote:
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>>> Coillons! Over here at least, most unmarred mums go out to work
>
> and
> > > > >>>> try to be self-sufficient
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Are the marred ones too disfigured to find work?
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Well, who would want to look at a marred one all day ?
> > > > >>
> > > > > A marrsochist?
> > > >
> > > > One of those cherries that go on pineapple upside
> > > > down cakes ?
> > > >
> > > I've never eaten an upside-down cake. I can't stand on my head. It
> won't
> > > come off you see!
> > >
> > > Anyway, the lickyour is better.
> >
> > I have eaten an upside-down cake.
>
> Is that a cake you eat with your bum-hole and get rid of through your gob?
>
> YUKKKK!
Beware of Yellowcake, made of Uranium 235!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:458CA027...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Michael Balarama wrote:
> >
> > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > news:DaPub.26844$qu.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > Entrepreneur who suffers from the most terrible flatulence: Business
>
> > > > typhoon.
> > >
> > > I think I smell something big....
> >
> > Farting: Windy bell at a great distance.
>
> Fasting: Hungry bell rushing towards the nearest restaurant!
Nearest: A bed close by.
Bedrock: Where stones sleep.
Sheet music: What musicians sleep under.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45BCD5E4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Absent: Missing penny.
> >
> > Busing: Musical mass transit vehicle.
> >
> > Buster: Spinning mass transit vehicle.
> >
> > Subtract: Underwater mass transit vehicle.
>
> Film about the boss of an underwater convent haunted by aliens: The Abbess.
>
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096754/
Does an X-Mas take place there at the sub mission?
Tim Bruening
Dotty: Tea with polka dots, or leopard tea.
Duty: Dedicated tea, drunk by soldiers.
Fatty: Obese tea.
Gusty: Win-D tea.
Irritable: Table that angers easily.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Boocock: Flasher.
> Mycock: Proud guy.
> Hiscock: Jealous guy.
> Bibcock: It makes a noise.
> Meacock: Has a very unusual identity disorder.
> Pocock: Misses his potty.
> Hancock: Wanker!
>
> And this last one gives us the flamous comedian who was named after
four
> parts of the anatomy:
>
> Toe Knee Hand Cock.
>
> We had a guy called Hiscock at work. Whenever anyone was daft enough
to ask,
> "Have you seen Hiscock," the answer was always, "Whosecock??"
Alfred Hitchcock: A flock of bird penises.
Tim Bruening
Marmoset wrote:
> Did you hear about the winner of the imitation butter contest?
>
> He won by a small margarine
Imitate: A copycat glove.
Emmit: A M-shaped glove.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 22:27:40 -0400, "Kathy" <tn5kt...@cogeco.ca>
found
> these unused words floating about:
>
> >
> >"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >news:a69c46fe.04060...@posting.google.com...
> >> "Michael Balarama" <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
> >news:<10c405f...@corp.supernews.com>...
> >> > was sent this:
> >> > A farmer had a cow, Bessie. She was difficult, kicking over the
milk
> >> > pail and refusing to come in at night. Well, Bessie got pregnant.
After
> >> > she gave birth, she changed. "Bessie's really mellowed out," the
> >> > farmer told his wife. "What do you think happened?" "That's
easy," she
> >> > replied. "Don't you know, Bessie's been decalf-inated!"
> >>
> >> How cheesy.
> >
> >Udder nonsense.
> >
> Bulling for you ...
Bible: To purchase a male bovine.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Raphael Kearns <rap...@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:cmp2ud$2bu$1...@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
> >
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > news:jX8gd.59654$i02....@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > CCTV: A channel that only shows gay programmes.
> > >
> > >
> > GUMTV: A channel which outlines pitfalls of unprotected sex.
> >
>
> BBC: Run by two marine apines.
>
> ITV: All the employees are permanently stoned.
>
> ABC: A station based on the only part of the alphabet that Geroge
> Dubya-Your-Oil-Money Bush knows.
>
> Fox News: A station that fox the Democrats at every opportuninty.
>
> Fox Kids: What Michael Jackson does. Bastard!
C-SPAN: Does shows on ocean crossing bridges.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:418EA7B8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > GP of ATJ wrote:
> >
> > > "ur_droll" <who....@fuck.co> wrote in message
> > > news:8wgjd.4566$op3.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> > > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:418D42F1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > :
> > > > :
> > > > : ur_droll wrote:
> > > > :
> > > > : > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> > > > : > news:4189BB44...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > : > : Why all the hostility against gays? Shouldn't people be
free to
> > > > choose
> > > > : > : to be happy?
> > > > : >
> > > > : > No.... Now fuck off..... ya faggot
> > > > :
> > > > : Why not?
> > > >
> > > > I ain't about to give you a reason.... not to fuck off
> > >
> > > can't find your mommy for a reason kiwi?
> > >
> > > Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
> > >
> > > A: The black ones steal your watch.
> >
> > Why the black ones?
> >
> It's just a racial stereotype - and it's also an irrace-ional
stereotype.
Stereotype: Sound system that writes letters.
Tim Bruening
Cocaine: A cane which drugs people.
Crack Pot: A cracked pot which drives people crazy or worse.
Defense: An impenetrable D shaped fence.
nemo
spoons, etc...
Michael N. LeVine
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
why is it always men -- how about some women from -- etc..
--
Michael LeVine - mle...@redshift.com
"Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc
nemo
No score for that one!
I told you already. It's how someone from Sout America describes modern
popular museek - sheet museek! Eeess blooddings terrible!
nemo
"Michael N. LeVine" <mlevine...@redshift.com> wrote in message
news:mlevinespmfltr-74C...@news.supernews.com...
Praps they don't have them or have them, and that's why the roam the galaxy
looking for some.
And there's a planet called etc.??
nemo
where people were framed on terror charges in spite of the fact that the
tubes were on open sale in Proops Bros. in Tottenham Court Road years
before! I got some. They're just cold-cathode neon-filled triodes. Nothing
sinister about them at all, apart from one sinister use amongst many.
They had a big card in the window with the things firing off each other in a
cascade effect. Looked quite pretty it did.
I think that must have been very beginning of the practice by the so-called,
self-styled, alleged "establishment"of finding one group of false scary
scapegoats after another to blame all the country's ills on to scare and
depress the public, because scared and depressed people are easier to
control.
Hello! Am I the only one who's ever noticed this?
nemo
jousting competitions.
They always liked to check them over, joust in case.
nemo
>
> Dotty: Tea with polka dots, or leopard tea.
>
> Duty: Dedicated tea, drunk by soldiers.
>
> Fatty: Obese tea.
>
> Gusty: Win-D tea.
Gale Force: What you feel when you get a kick up teh throat from one of "The
Avengers" early heroines.
>
> Irritable: Table that angers easily.
Tisch tisch! I've heard that one before!
nemo
They have to be carefully designed, causewaying about in the wind can make
people feel sick.
nemo
But I don't want to purchase a male bovine. Keeping one in a flat
(apartment) would not be very amoosing in the least.
nemo
Ripetighter: A drunken smelly secretary. Drove the office head office head
she did!
Edward Woodward would!
nemo
Yers. That's where people give presents of submarine pens instead of
fountain pens!
Just look at that pun, young Schaeffer me lad! Waterman he is!!!!
nemo
It's Penes! As in Penes from heaven!
It being correct to spell it your way is a phallusy.
nemo
Mitten: Five pairs.
nemo
Imp penny tribble: A cheap mischievous furry coo-ing little animule with no
bodily orifices like in Start Wreck.
Michael N. LeVine
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
Yes that's its name thou they did not planet that way
(bureaucratic foul up --- too busy looking for women to correct)
nemo
How *do* you hold a bureaucratic foul up? By its legs?
And I've always found that quaysare full of boats and ships.
Michael N. LeVine
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
I take my lead from the colonel and just wing it.
Tim Bruening
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
That sounds messy.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
How about men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives, spoons, etc... as
opposed to merely men from flying saucers?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Dotty: Tea with polka dots, or leopard tea.
Duty: Dedicated tea, drunk by soldiers.
Fatty: Obese tea.
Gusty: Win-D tea.
Irritable: Table that angers easily.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:418EA7B8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > GP of ATJ wrote:
> >
> > > "ur_droll" <who....@fuck.co> wrote in message
> > > news:8wgjd.4566$op3.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> > > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:418D42F1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > :
> > > > :
> > > > : ur_droll wrote:
> > > > :
> > > > : > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
Tim Bruening
nemo
Only 1/6th of an inch long? A 12-point glove? Wouldn't even fit a
Lilly-Putinian!
Putin: A portable chemical toilet made of steel. Sums the man up quite well
that does too.
In a comedy quiz called 'Mock the Week':
Q: What are the most important changes made since Putin came to power in
Russia.
A: Well before he came to power, our priests, bishops, top policemen,
lawyers, pop singers, businessmen, MPs, royals etc. all had to make do with
*ordinary* pornography!
nemo
Tisch tisch! It shouldt leaaaarn tzu control its emotionsss allghghready!
nemo
We weren't shown enough about the aliens to learn whether they were
religious. They looked a bit like ghostly angels though.
I'll have to get a sync pulse regenerator before I can transfer my tape of
this onto DVD. It's a bought one.
The trick they use of having the picture go light and dark is called
Maxi-View and works by intermittently putting a Voltage spike in the middle
of the field sync pulse in the picture signal of the original. This makes
the Automatic Level Control circuitry in a DVD recorder or VCR (Except
Hitachi) think that the picture is too bright and dims the picture down.
There's notta lotta people know that!
Mine dew - a commercial DVD of the film might be cheaper than a sync pulse
regenerator.
Still - the last time they put a so-called foolproof digital anti-copying
signal on DVDs, it was hacked within a day and was all over the Innerrrned,
sorry, Internet, in no time.
And something similar on CDs put there by Sony and Philips was ruled illegal
becuase it installed a program on people's PCs without them knowing and they
had to call back all the CDs they'd sold with the anti-copying software on
and replace the CDs with ones without it!! GOOD!
Izzen tit about time the entertainment industry just gave up and accepted
that they can no longer rip the public off with extortionate prices?! I
mean, they've had a long enough run - since Victorian times in fact when all
there was were wax cylinders and sheet music!
iTunes is a good example of a compromise. A track for a few pence instead of
a CD for £16.99 or however much they are these days. And the price of £16.99
was only held because a Parliamentary Sub-committee had the record companies
up before them and ruled that their next proposed price rises were
unacceptable.
See? Our MPs aren't daft all the time!
nemo
Where does the flock come in?
Ice up hose (brrr!) 'Hitch' could refer to the birds their penES back in
their Y-Fronts.
And don't say through an open window! I don't want my PCs covered in bird
wee-wee!
nemo
Scriptures: People who masticate doctors' lists of medicines that they've
prescribed for patients.
She's not at all a well girl, that Patients.
A well girl? Well, her pussy got well wet!
And within the bit of nonsense music in its first line, that narr-story
rhyme has pres-saged the existence of the largest computer company in the
world. "Ding dong Dell."
nemo
Monotype: Produces prints for people who can only read with one ear.
nemo
OUT-SPAN: Name used by the disgusting aparthied regime in Sith Iffikkeh to
make everyone think their oranges came from Spain, so that all the highly
moral and sensible people who'd decided to boycot and girlcot Sith Iffrikkin
goods would still buy them.
CS-PAN: A frying utensil's existence coming to a sticky end. (Girls who like
fellatio often do that as well!)
The wouse-hife never washed it you see, and it finally caught flyer and the
smoke brought down his plane.
nemo
IC3: Ahh keeps puttin in thickoh posts and tougher wire but defense still
keep fallin down!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:418EA7B8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > GP of ATJ wrote:
> >
> > > "ur_droll" <who....@fuck.co> wrote in message
> > > news:8wgjd.4566$op3.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> > > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:418D42F1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > :
> > > > :
> > > > : ur_droll wrote:
> > > > :
> > > > : > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478DB18D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:458C9A57...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Mos <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > > > news:10eujoi...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > > Mos <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > > > > > news:10etabh...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > > > >> Alan wrote:
> > > > > > >>> On Fri, 09 Jul 2004 11:22:56 GMT, "nemo"
> <ne...@naughtylass.wet>
> > > > > > >>> wrote:
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>>> Coillons! Over here at least, most unmarred mums go out to
> work
> > >
> > > and
> > > > > > >>>> try to be self-sufficient
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Are the marred ones too disfigured to find work?
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > >> Well, who would want to look at a marred one all day ?
> > > > > > >>
> > > > > > > A marrsochist?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > One of those cherries that go on pineapple upside
> > > > > > down cakes ?
> > > > > >
> > > > > I've never eaten an upside-down cake. I can't stand on my head. It
> > > won't
> > > > > come off you see!
> > > > >
> > > > > Anyway, the lickyour is better.
> > > >
> > > > I have eaten an upside-down cake.
> > >
> > > Is that a cake you eat with your bum-hole and get rid of through your
> gob?
> > >
> > > YUKKKK!
> >
> > Beware of Yellowcake, made of Uranium 235!
> >
> And trigger tubes that featured in scare tactics around twenty years ago
> where people were framed on terror charges in spite of the fact that the
> tubes were on open sale in Proops Bros. in Tottenham Court Road years
> before! I got some. They're just cold-cathode neon-filled triodes. Nothing
> sinister about them at all, apart from one sinister use amongst many.
>
> They had a big card in the window with the things firing off each other in a
> cascade effect. Looked quite pretty it did.
>
> I think that must have been very beginning of the practice by the so-called,
> self-styled, alleged "establishment"of finding one group of false scary
> scapegoats after another to blame all the country's ills on to scare and
> depress the public, because scared and depressed people are easier to
> control.
Try Googling "mi5victim" or "MI5victim".
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478C7F25...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:47898120...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:41E60A8A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > On 06 Jan 2004 21:27:19 GMT
> > > > > > > earlo...@aol.com (Earlofduke2) wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > What does an oyster bar taste like? Is it covered with
> > > chocolate?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I don't care, uh, Mel. I /do/ know that lobster bars
> > > shouldn't be
> > > > > > > thrown fast and straight.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sand Bar: Very gritty candy.
> > > > >
> > > > > Dogger Bank: Where canines keep their money.
> > > > >
> > > > > http://www.bartleby.com/65/do/DoggerBa.html
> > > > >
> > > > > "We've run aground!! Oh my cod!!"
> > > >
> > > > Soap Bar: Very clean candy, or alcohol vender, or jail, or lawyer
> > > group.
> > >
> > > A London Inn of Court occupied by a group of lawyers who deal with
> > > vice
> > > cases: Lincoln Sin.
> >
> > Do they drive Lincoln cars or play with Lincoln logs?
> >
> > > An Inn of Court occupied by a group of lawyers who deal with vice
> > > cases
> > > involving little spindley men from flying saucers: Grey Sin.
> >
> > How about men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives, spoons, etc...
> >
> OK. I give up. How *about* men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives,
> spoons, etc...
How about men from flying plates, glasses, forks, knives, spoons, etc...
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:418EA7B8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > GP of ATJ wrote:
> >
> > > "ur_droll" <who....@fuck.co> wrote in message
> > > news:8wgjd.4566$op3.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> > > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:418D42F1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > :
> > > > :
> > > > : ur_droll wrote:
> > > > :
> > > > : > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Marmoset wrote:
> Did you hear about the winner of the imitation butter contest?
>
> He won by a small margarine
Imitate: A copycat glove.
Emmit: A M-shaped glove.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:497186FD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Raphael Kearns <rap...@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > news:cmp2ud$2bu$1...@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > > news:jX8gd.59654$i02....@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > CCTV: A channel that only shows gay programmes.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > GUMTV: A channel which outlines pitfalls of unprotected sex.
> > > >
> > >
> > > BBC: Run by two marine apines.
> > >
> > > ITV: All the employees are permanently stoned.
> > >
> > > ABC: A station based on the only part of the alphabet that Geroge
> > > Dubya-Your-Oil-Money Bush knows.
> > >
> > > Fox News: A station that fox the Democrats at every opportuninty.
> > >
> > > Fox Kids: What Michael Jackson does. Bastard!
Not any more!
> >
> > C-SPAN: Does shows on ocean crossing bridges.
>
> OUT-SPAN: Name used by the disgusting aparthied regime in Sith Iffikkeh to
> make everyone think their oranges came from Spain, so that all the highly
> moral and sensible people who'd decided to boycot and girlcot Sith Iffrikkin
> goods would still buy them.
Where is that nation?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Animal Planet: A George Orwell novel on a planet wide scale.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Dear Nemo:
Former U.S. Surgeon General C Everett Koop says in a commercial that the UK
health care system skimps on seniors, considering them too expensive for top
notch health care. Koop has received several transplants. He implies that
he would not have received those transplants in the UK, which might have
resulted in him dying.
Does the UK skimp on health care for seniors?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478DB18D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> Hello! Am I the only one who's ever noticed this?
Have you ever seen the posts by MI5-victim claiming harassment by British
intelligence every he turns?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478DB27C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:458CA027...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Michael Balarama wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > > > news:DaPub.26844$qu.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > > Entrepreneur who suffers from the most terrible flatulence:
> Business
> > >
> > > > > > typhoon.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think I smell something big....
> > > >
> > > > Farting: Windy bell at a great distance.
> > >
> > > Fasting: Hungry bell rushing towards the nearest restaurant!
> >
> > Nearest: A bed close by.
> >
> > Bedrock: Where stones sleep.
> >
> > Sheet music: What musicians sleep under.
> >
>
> No score for that one!
>
> I told you already. It's how someone from Sout America describes modern
> popular museek - sheet museek! Eeess blooddings terrible!
Bed Rock: A type of music performed by beds, including the Bed Beetles in
the 1960s.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478DBB76...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Mitten: Five pairs.
Mitred: Rouge glove.
Nemo
On the pointed bit at the end of Africa, unless somebody's moved it.
>
>> CS-PAN: A frying utensil's existence coming to a sticky end. (Girls who
>> like
>> fellatio often do that as well!)
>>
>> The wouse-hife never washed it you see, and it finally caught flyer and
>> the
>> smoke brought down his plane.
>
There's a damned good TV series over here called 'How Clean Is Your House'
where people with disgustingly mucky houses have a bunch of experts in who
clean the place thoroughly and advise the occu-pants as to how to keep it
that way, and one of their excellent tips is to used borax and lemon oil to
get the black baked-on grease from off of frying pans etc. Works out far far
cheaper than any of the pro-pri-a-tory cleaning materials available that
hardly work.
Borax: Chopper for timber with a built-in drill.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:497186FD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Raphael Kearns <rap...@kearns.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > news:cmp2ud$2bu$1...@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
> > > >
> > > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > > news:jX8gd.59654$i02....@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > > > CCTV: A channel that only shows gay programmes.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > GUMTV: A channel which outlines pitfalls of unprotected sex.
> > > >
> > >
> > > BBC: Run by two marine apines.
> > >
> > > ITV: All the employees are permanently stoned.
> > >
> > > ABC: A station based on the only part of the alphabet that Geroge
> > > Dubya-Your-Oil-Money Bush knows.
> > >
> > > Fox News: A station that fox the Democrats at every opportuninty.
> > >
> > > Fox Kids: What Michael Jackson does. Bastard!
> >
> > C-SPAN: Does shows on ocean crossing bridges.
>
> OUT-SPAN: Name used by the disgusting aparthied regime in Sith Iffikkeh to
> make everyone think their oranges came from Spain, so that all the highly
> moral and sensible people who'd decided to boycot and girlcot Sith Iffrikkin
> goods would still buy them.
>
> CS-PAN: A frying utensil's existence coming to a sticky end. (Girls who like
> fellatio often do that as well!)
>
> The wouse-hife never washed it you see, and it finally caught flyer and the
> smoke brought down his plane.
Animal Planet: A George Orwell novel on a planet wide scale.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478DB18D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478DB27C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:497186FD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478DB18D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:478DB27C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:418EA7B8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > GP of ATJ wrote:
> >
> > > "ur_droll" <who....@fuck.co> wrote in message
> > > news:8wgjd.4566$op3.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> > > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:418D42F1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > :
> > > > :
> > > > : ur_droll wrote:
> > > > :
> > > > : > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> > > > : > news:4189BB44...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > : > : Why all the hostility against gays? Shouldn't people be
free to
> > > > choose
> > > > : > : to be happy?
> > > > : >
> > > > : > No.... Now fuck off..... ya faggot
> > > > :
> > > > : Why not?
> > > >
> > > > I ain't about to give you a reason.... not to fuck off
> > >
> > > can't find your mommy for a reason kiwi?
> > >
> > > Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
> > >
> > > A: The black ones steal your watch.
> >
> > Why the black ones?
> >
> It's just a racial stereotype - and it's also an irrace-ional
stereotype.
Stereotype: Sound system that writes letters.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 22:27:40 -0400, "Kathy" <tn5kt...@cogeco.ca>
found
> these unused words floating about:
>
> >
> >"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >news:a69c46fe.04060...@posting.google.com...
> >> "Michael Balarama" <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
> >news:<10c405f...@corp.supernews.com>...
> >> > was sent this:
> >> > A farmer had a cow, Bessie. She was difficult, kicking over the
milk
> >> > pail and refusing to come in at night. Well, Bessie got pregnant.
After
> >> > she gave birth, she changed. "Bessie's really mellowed out," the
> >> > farmer told his wife. "What do you think happened?" "That's
easy," she
> >> > replied. "Don't you know, Bessie's been decalf-inated!"
> >>
> >> How cheesy.
> >
> >Udder nonsense.
> >
> Bulling for you ...
Bible: To purchase a male bovine.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Boocock: Flasher.
> Mycock: Proud guy.
> Hiscock: Jealous guy.
> Bibcock: It makes a noise.
> Meacock: Has a very unusual identity disorder.
> Pocock: Misses his potty.
> Hancock: Wanker!
>
> And this last one gives us the flamous comedian who was named after
four
> parts of the anatomy:
>
> Toe Knee Hand Cock.
>
> We had a guy called Hiscock at work. Whenever anyone was daft enough
to ask,
> "Have you seen Hiscock," the answer was always, "Whosecock??"
Alfred Hitchcock: A flock of bird penises.
Tim Bruening
Dotty: Tea with polka dots, or leopard tea.
Duty: Dedicated tea, drunk by soldiers.
Fatty: Obese tea.
Gusty: Win-D tea.
Irritable: Table that angers easily.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:45BCD5E4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Absent: Missing penny.
> >
> > Busing: Musical mass transit vehicle.
> >
> > Buster: Spinning mass transit vehicle.
> >
> > Subtract: Underwater mass transit vehicle.
>
> Film about the boss of an underwater convent haunted by aliens: The Abbess.
>
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096754/
Does an X-Mas take place there at the sub mission?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:418EA7B8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > GP of ATJ wrote:
> >
> > > "ur_droll" <who....@fuck.co> wrote in message
> > > news:8wgjd.4566$op3.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> > > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:418D42F1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > :
> > > > :
> > > > : ur_droll wrote:
> > > > :
> > > > : > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message