What's The State Of Chelsea Clinton's Marriage?
Twitchell
Chelsea Clinton's husband left his Wall Street job and went on a long ski trip.
To many, quitting a corporate gig and going on an extended vacation is a dream
come true! But headlines blare that the marriage is over.
The National Enquirer — along with sister publication, Star — seems to have
broken this story. The Enquirer headline is fairly straightforward:
CHELSEA: MARRIAGE OVER!. (Star printed: "Chelsea Clinton: Trial Separation.")
But this possibly-blown-out-of-proportion story has spread far and wide,
probably due to the convergence of three factors: 1. It concerns the daughter of
a beloved, charismatic president. 2. It concerns a hedge-fund trader who is the
son of two ex-congresspeople and whose dad was convicted of defrauding investors
of millions and spent seven years in a federal prison. 3. It concerns skiing.
Thus, the headlines are alternately scandalous and downright weird:
*Chelsea Clinton's Hubby Leaves Job to Become Ski Bum [Fox News]
This item is accompanied by an image of a skiier falling, arms flailing wildly,
leg on the verge of breaking. The article is filed under "culture," because for
Fox, talking about people associated with Democrats is akin to studying lost
Amazon tribes.
*Chelsea Clinton's Husband Marc Mezvinsky Leaves Hedge Fund, Heads To Slopes
[Washington Post's Reliable Source]
The ladies of the WaPo will not get sucked into sordid scandals! Guys, he's on
vacation! Nothing to see here.
*Chelsea Clinton's Hubby Ditches His Wife & Job To Ski In Wyoming For 3 Months!
Trouble In Paradise? [Hollywood Life]
This site, run by former Star editor Bonnie Fuller, takes on the positon of the
slighted, abandoned wife, adding an eloquent "What?!" to the news and noting:
"One would think a husband would choose his wife over a desire to hit the
slopes, especially in their first year of marriage." Plus, they're all up in
Chelsea's uterus, planning a grandson for Bubba: "If there really are no
problems between the new couple maybe this getaway is simply a final hurrah
before America's royal family welcomes a new heir!"
*Chelsea's Husband Flakes Out, Heads For The Hills [SF Gate]
Oh West Coast Frisco kids, we see what you did there. Flakes. Ha. A reporter
opines:
Traditionally, a young man becomes a ski bum before beginning his "real life" —
a serious job and marriage. He rents out a house with 12 buddies, sleeps on a
couch and works as a lift attendant or "pearl diver" (dish washer) in return for
a season pass and beer money. Mezvinksky's trajectory of banker to
married-man-with-famous-wife to ski bum presumably guarantees more comfortable
accommodations without scrubbing pots. Still, leaving your bride of less than a
year alone in your Fifth Avenue apartment for months doesn't look good.
Sounds like these West Siiiiide peeps have intimate knowledge with advanced
ski-bummery. Color us impressed.
Chelsea Clinton Marriage Beset by Rumors of Discord [The Improper]
We don't know what the hell The Improper is, but obviously everyone who works
there wears gloves and a top hat and nods to each other and says "Good day, sir"
upon their arrival at work. How else to explain the refined and downright proper
headline?
Chelsea Clinton in New York, Marc Mezvinsky in Wyoming, Still a 'Very Happy'
Couple, Friend Says [Politics Daily]
Journalist Annie Groer has been a Washington Post gossip columnist, written for
the New York Times, is a founding director of the Art Deco Society of
Washington, and "once danced across the Kennedy Center Stage with Liberace." She
spoke to a family friend of the Clintons, who told her, "These reports are
completely false." There's no way that this person was lying! Or covering up a
troubled marriage on behalf of the Clintons! Annie Groer would know! And Annie
Groer was told that Chelsea and Marc are "very happy," so we should believe
Annie Groer, and not any nasty tabloids.
Last, but certainly not least: Chelsea Clinton's Hubby Leaves Wall Street To Be
Ski Bum [Ski Channel]
A site devoted to skiing has weighed in! Kristian Hansen writes:
Chelsea Clinton's husband, Marc Mezvinsky, has left his New York G3 Capital
hedge fund job for the allure of being a ski bum. I guess the stress was too
much for him to handle and the steep slopes of Jackson Hole offer peace and
quiet. Wait til he finds himself on top of Corbett's Couloir, talk about
stressed out.
Actual slope jokes! It's all downhill from here.
Bobo Cuccinelli
Chelsea has told the NYT that sex is just "not her cup of tea."
cuh...@webtv.net
wants it.
cuhulin