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Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."

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guaifenesin

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Nov 7, 1994, 5:48:08 PM11/7/94
to

Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."

5150
reagan's doctor: "actually, we had diagnosed it in 1975"
--
Do you have the time
to listen to me whine?

cfb103

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Nov 8, 1994, 2:51:58 PM11/8/94
to
(distribution trimmed due to serious question)

In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no>, ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy
Kandolf) says:
>
>someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."


>>
>>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."
>

>You know this was uncalled for, don't you?
>
>I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
>particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.
>
>It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...

I admit, since Ronnie's announcement, I have been somewhat perplexed. I had
always thought that Alzheimer's could only be positively diagnosed post-mortem,
by taking brain samples. How do they know it's not just run-of-the-mill
forgetfulness/senility or whatever?

-Josh "I wonder if he's the first?" Munn
--
Josh Munn
"If he's so damn ineffable, why
doesn't he write his own biography?"

Eli Balin

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Nov 8, 1994, 3:30:25 PM11/8/94
to
In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no>,

Cindy Kandolf <ci...@nvg.unit.no> wrote:
>
>It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...

An upper-level position in government.

Or a scriptwriting job for "SeaQuest" or "Earth 2."

--
=======================================================================
| Report the First: The humans have unusual table manners; they allow |
| no food to fall from their mouths when eating. |
=======================================================================
| E. M. Balin (elib...@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu): If sanity, reason, and |
| common sense aren't working, I might just have an answer that will. |
=======================================================================

Harry Rayder Kaplan

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Nov 8, 1994, 8:37:31 PM11/8/94
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In article <39oiop$4...@rztsun.tu-harburg.de> et...@tuhhco.rz.tu-harburg.de (Paul Linden) writes:
>>
>>-Cindy Kandolf, FSDM #1.1/2, certified language mechanic, mamma flodnak
>> ci...@nvg.unit.no
>> Trondheim, Norway
>> Minta garpu dan sudu.
> ^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^
>
>Ok, Cindy, eventually someone's going to ask. We might as well get it
>over and done with as soon as possible. What does this mean?
>

I saw it once in a hotel room on the sunbathed coast of Jeloy island.
It means roughly "If the chocolate placed on your pillow is not savored
slowly but instead swallowed at once then we are not responsible for
any ensuing lawsuit".

Rayder "It's more commonly known as the Leona Disclaimer" Kaplan
--
hka...@panix.com [ Tribal House Dance Drum Dog ]
Yes, my new nick is Rayder, say the word "winky" or press the pound
key on your telephone now and an operator will be right with you

Michele Tepper

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Nov 8, 1994, 8:35:35 PM11/8/94
to
In article <39ojhd$2...@panix3.panix.com>, Steven Cherry <s...@panix.com> wrote:

>In <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
>>someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
>>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>>>
>>>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."
>
>>You know this was uncalled for, don't you?
>
>>I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
>>particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.

>I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world
>protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
>of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.

A friend pointed out to me that one of the real effects of Reagan's
annoucement will be to postpone indefinitely any serious revisionary look
at his brutal and corrupt regime. Imagine you're a publisher: are you
going to take on a book about how Reagan and his wacko henchmen treated
the Constitution as so much blotting paper when the man is bravely,
stoically, and in all probability slowly dying in full public view? I
mean, even Nixon got beatified in the days surrounding his death, and
although we could argue about which one of them was the less law-abiding,
Nixon was the one to leave the White House in shame. (I did once see
Arthur Liman answer the question of why there was no attempt to impeach
Reagan with a "The American people don't need to go through that again"
song and dance, which I thought a miserable failure of nerve, but I
digress) So in an odd way what will slowly destroy Reagan the man may
help hold up the paper doll that is Reagan the political icon a little
bit longer.


Michele "fully expects a Reaganaut to win his second term as governor
here and outlaw collective bargaining by teacher's unions -- bye,
healthcare benefits, you were really nice while you lasted" Tepper

--
Michele Tepper "That was needlessly cruel. And, I liked it."
mi...@umich.edu --Lee Behlman

Carlos May

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Nov 8, 1994, 11:56:38 PM11/8/94
to
Cindy Kandolf (ci...@nvg.unit.no) wrote:

: someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
: > Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
: >
: >Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."

: You know this was uncalled for, don't you?

: I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
: particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.

: It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...
[sig snipped]

Most observers noticed Reagan's decay while in office, so the
diagnosis is of no suprise, although the admission might be.
Perhaps a better way of phrasing the same sentiment would be:
NEWS EXTRA!! RONALD REGAN IS GETTING FORGETFUL !!
NEWS EXTRA!! RUSH LIMBAUGH IS SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT !!
(If you're fortunate enough not to know who Limbaugh is, substitute
well known seriously obese pompus celebrety of your choice.)
We here in the U.S.A. had the disconcerting experience of
watching the leader of our nation and the controler of a
huge nuclear arsenel devolve into greater and greater senile
dementia while in office...and having the administration blithely
deny that there was any problem. We make jokes about it to keep
from screaming in horror.

--------------------------------------------------------
"Don't just say Ribbit... Live it !!" -- Kerokerokeroppi
froggy
"Just another meatball in the Information Spaghetti-Pot"
---------------------------------------------------------


NinjaBOB of the Fuuma Clan

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Nov 8, 1994, 11:59:35 PM11/8/94
to
In article <39oj99$l...@news.duke.edu>,
Diane Kelly <dke...@bio4.acpub.duke.edu> wrote:
>
>In article <39oas9$o...@crl7.crl.com>, c...@crl.com (Craig Dickson) writes:

>|> guaifenesin writes:
>|>
>|> |reagan's doctor: "actually, we had diagnosed it in 1975"
>|>
>|> Out here in California, many of us knew he had Alzheimers as early as
>|> 1970 when he was Governor...
>|> --
>
>Ha ha ha, an old man is sick!
>Next let's go down to the hospital and laugh at the accident victims.
>
What? Are you saying that you didn't at least susspect Reagan had a
illness that makes you forget, I mean come on....
He just might have been telling the truth in those Iran-Contra hearings.
If you need a refresher, his testimony consited of 10,214 instances of
"I don't recall," or its variations.


>Jim Cambias
>Disgusted
>Misusing My Wife's Internet Account
>At Duke

NinjaBOB
Amused
Sees The Irony In Reagan's Alzhimer's Diagnosis

Cindy Kandolf

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Nov 8, 1994, 4:13:21 AM11/8/94
to
someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>
>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."

You know this was uncalled for, don't you?

I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.

It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...

-Cindy Kandolf, FSDM #1.1/2, certified language mechanic, mamma flodnak

David Chris Regan

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Nov 9, 1994, 1:31:39 AM11/9/94
to

In article <39orj4$h...@cville-srv.wam.umd.edu> rock...@wam.umd.edu (rockwell) writes:
>David Chris Regan (fo...@cats.ucsc.edu) wrote:
>
>: Er..aside from trimming the article you quoted WITHOUT mentioning it, I think
>: that you might just consider for a moment...it was a *JOKE*. ie. SARCASM.
>: MOST PEOPLE ACTUALLY GOT A LAUGH OUT OF IT. In simpler terms, get off your
>: panty-waist PC ass high horse and deal. This isn't exactly the Miss Manners
>: area of the net you know...
>
>.. not with snot-nosed little pukes like you on it, it's not. What the
>hell has Cindy ever done to offend anyone? You owe her an apology, though
>doubtless we won't see one from the likes of you.
>

Er..yeah right. I'm just exercising my right to be just as self-righteous as
she seems to be. If you'd actually read the original article before she
snipped it, you might just realize that.

-Dave
fo...@cats.ucsc.edu


Bruce Ediger

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Nov 8, 1994, 8:22:19 PM11/8/94
to
et...@tuhhco.rz.tu-harburg.de (Paul Linden) wrote:
:In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Ka
ndolf) writes:
:>
:> Minta garpu dan sudu.
:
:Ok, Cindy, eventually someone's going to ask. We might as well get it

:over and done with as soon as possible. What does this mean?

As a native speaker of Norwegian, I can authoritatively tell you that
"Minta garpu dan sudu" is exactly translated as "Klaatu Baradu Nictu".

Craig Dickson

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Nov 8, 1994, 12:00:57 PM11/8/94
to
guaifenesin writes:

|reagan's doctor: "actually, we had diagnosed it in 1975"

Out here in California, many of us knew he had Alzheimers as early as


1970 when he was Governor...
--

Craig Dickson <c...@crl.com>
alt.usenet.kooks archives on the Web: ftp://ftp.crl.com/users/ro/cd/auk.html
To receive the a.u.k FAQ, send me email with Subject: send alt.usenet.kooks FAQ

Steve Mayer

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Nov 9, 1994, 2:29:35 AM11/9/94
to
Steven Cherry (s...@panix.com) wrote:
[deletia]
: I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world

: protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
: of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.

Well, you know the old saying, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating
the intelligence of a registered Democrat."
But why on God's green earth can't you people _at least_ pick up the
beer cans from your front yard?

Cerberus

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Nov 9, 1994, 4:22:15 AM11/9/94
to
In article <39oj99$l...@news.duke.edu>, dke...@bio4.acpub.duke.edu (Diane
Kelly) wrote:

> In article <39oas9$o...@crl7.crl.com>, c...@crl.com (Craig Dickson) writes:

> |> guaifenesin writes:
> |>
> |> |reagan's doctor: "actually, we had diagnosed it in 1975"
> |>
> |> Out here in California, many of us knew he had Alzheimers as early as
> |> 1970 when he was Governor...
> |> --
>

> Ha ha ha, an old man is sick!
> Next let's go down to the hospital and laugh at the accident victims.
>

> Jim Cambias
> Disgusted
> Misusing My Wife's Internet Account
> At Duke

OK! Meet you there!! I just hope I get to see a catheter, and enjoy a rich laugh at someone's expense!!

YDL,
cey (using up WAY MORE than his monthly quotient of exclaimation points!!!!!)
--
Cerberus is the only one who knows the etymology of "etymology."
You know what a chain link fence is? A ladder.

Cerberus

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Nov 9, 1994, 4:24:42 AM11/9/94
to
In article <39omfj$d...@darkstar.UCSC.EDU>, fo...@cats.ucsc.edu (David Chris
Regan) wrote:

> In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no
(Cindy Kandolf) writes:

> Er..aside from trimming the article you quoted WITHOUT mentioning it, I think
> that you might just consider for a moment...it was a *JOKE*. ie. SARCASM.
> MOST PEOPLE ACTUALLY GOT A LAUGH OUT OF IT. In simpler terms, get off your
> panty-waist PC ass high horse and deal. This isn't exactly the Miss Manners

^^^^^^^^^^^^^


> area of the net you know...

No, it's the Missy Manners, ageing porn star, area. Ah, how I miss the
days when she was making bondage, G&R films with miss M. Sirtris!

> -Dave
> fo...@cats.ucsc.edu
>
> "there,I feel better now..no really"

Cerberus

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 4:28:07 AM11/9/94
to
In article <39oiop$4...@rztsun.tu-harburg.de>,
et...@tuhhco.rz.tu-harburg.de (Paul Linden) wrote:

> In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no
(Cindy Kandolf) writes:
> >

> >-Cindy Kandolf, FSDM #1.1/2, certified language mechanic, mamma flodnak
> > ci...@nvg.unit.no
> > Trondheim, Norway
> > Minta garpu dan sudu.

> ^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


>
> Ok, Cindy, eventually someone's going to ask. We might as well get it
> over and done with as soon as possible. What does this mean?

It's the Mentos creed. It means "Mint grasps penii in the Sudan."

> Paul Linden

Diane Kelly

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Nov 8, 1994, 2:24:25 PM11/8/94
to

In article <39oas9$o...@crl7.crl.com>, c...@crl.com (Craig Dickson) writes:
|> guaifenesin writes:
|>
|> |reagan's doctor: "actually, we had diagnosed it in 1975"
|>
|> Out here in California, many of us knew he had Alzheimers as early as
|> 1970 when he was Governor...
|> --

Ha ha ha, an old man is sick!

Steven Cherry

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Nov 8, 1994, 2:28:45 PM11/8/94
to

>someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>>
>>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."

>You know this was uncalled for, don't you?

>I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
>particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.

>It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...

I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world


protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.


Steven "If I thought Reagan understood his sins I would regret that
he'll now forget them" Cherry


--
<s...@panix.com> <s...@acm.org>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Fata viam inventient (The Fates will find a way)

Paul Linden

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Nov 8, 1994, 2:15:37 PM11/8/94
to
In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
>
>-Cindy Kandolf, FSDM #1.1/2, certified language mechanic, mamma flodnak
> ci...@nvg.unit.no
> Trondheim, Norway
> Minta garpu dan sudu.
^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^

Ok, Cindy, eventually someone's going to ask. We might as well get it
over and done with as soon as possible. What does this mean?

Paul Linden

Rich Holmes

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Nov 9, 1994, 8:08:49 AM11/9/94
to
In article <tilleyCy...@netcom.com> til...@netcom.com (Tom Tilley) writes:

>No, you can't be "allowed" such delight in a civilized society. You
>can "take" such delight because your thoughts are your own, but you
>can't sensibly expect thoughtful people to offer you approval or
>understanding.
>
>If you're going to take delight in someone's having Alzheimer's, then
>by what right do you complain about "crimes?"
>
>[ childish sign-off deleted. ]
>
>
>Tom "I voted mostly Democratic this morning" Tilley.

Oh, now I see. This whole right-wing electoral disaster was just God's
way of punishing you for your pomposity. Thanks a pantload.

--
- Rich Holmes

Of course it's daft, it's traditional.
- Terry Pratchett

David Chris Regan

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Nov 8, 1994, 3:18:59 PM11/8/94
to

In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
Er..aside from trimming the article you quoted WITHOUT mentioning it, I think
that you might just consider for a moment...it was a *JOKE*. ie. SARCASM.
MOST PEOPLE ACTUALLY GOT A LAUGH OUT OF IT. In simpler terms, get off your
panty-waist PC ass high horse and deal. This isn't exactly the Miss Manners
area of the net you know...

-Dave

Rich Holmes

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 8:40:35 AM11/9/94
to
In article <39pa4b$b...@nntp1.u.washington.edu> guy...@u.washington.edu (NinjaBOB of the Fuuma Clan) writes:

>I think Alan Greenspan just didn't like George. I bet he doesn't like
>Clinton either, we won't be seeing Clinton in the nation's highest office after
>January 1997.
>Makes me feel all warm inside, how about you?

Alan Greenspan doesn't need to dislike Clinton. Clinton is fucking up
just fine all by himself.

With his waffling, bungling, and monumentally bad sense of political
timing, Clinton engendered enough dislike to send the Democrats into a
tailspin and deliver the U.S. Congress into the hands of Bob Dole,
Newt Gingerich, Orrin Hatch, Jesse Helms, and Strom Thurmond. Even if
he were to get all the clues he's missing, even if Jesus Christ
Himself were at the Fed, Clinton will accomplish absolutely,
positively nothing whatsoever in the next two years before turning the
presidency over to Bob Dole, Dan Quayle, or whoever else the
Republican party chooses to nominate. Then the most racist, sexist,
homophobic, uncaring, cynical, corrupt, and brutally efficient
American government of our lifetime will begin its regime.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

Tom Tilley

unread,
Nov 8, 1994, 3:36:35 PM11/8/94
to
In article <39ojhd$2...@panix3.panix.com>,

s...@panix.com (Steven Cherry) writes:
>ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
>
>>someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
>>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>>>
>>>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."
>
>>You know this was uncalled for, don't you?
>
>>I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
>>particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.
>
>>It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...
>
>I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world
>protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
>of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.

No, you can't be "allowed" such delight in a civilized society. You


can "take" such delight because your thoughts are your own, but you
can't sensibly expect thoughtful people to offer you approval or
understanding.

If you're going to take delight in someone's having Alzheimer's, then
by what right do you complain about "crimes?"

[ childish sign-off deleted. ]


Tom "I voted mostly Democratic this morning" Tilley.

--
#----------------------------------------------#
| Tom Tilley E-mail: to...@net.com, or |
| til...@netcom.com |

rockwell

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Nov 8, 1994, 4:46:12 PM11/8/94
to
David Chris Regan (fo...@cats.ucsc.edu) wrote:

: Er..aside from trimming the article you quoted WITHOUT mentioning it, I think


: that you might just consider for a moment...it was a *JOKE*. ie. SARCASM.
: MOST PEOPLE ACTUALLY GOT A LAUGH OUT OF IT. In simpler terms, get off your
: panty-waist PC ass high horse and deal. This isn't exactly the Miss Manners
: area of the net you know...

.. not with snot-nosed little pukes like you on it, it's not. What the

Jacob C Kesinger

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Nov 9, 1994, 12:42:03 PM11/9/94
to
guy...@u.washington.edu (NinjaBOB of the Fuuma Clan) writes:

>In article <39oj99$l...@news.duke.edu>,
>Diane Kelly <dke...@bio4.acpub.duke.edu> wrote:
>>
>>In article <39oas9$o...@crl7.crl.com>, c...@crl.com (Craig Dickson) writes:
>>|> guaifenesin writes:
>>|>
>>|> |reagan's doctor: "actually, we had diagnosed it in 1975"
>>

>What? Are you saying that you didn't at least susspect Reagan had a
>illness that makes you forget, I mean come on....
>He just might have been telling the truth in those Iran-Contra hearings.
>If you need a refresher, his testimony consited of 10,214 instances of
>"I don't recall," or its variations.

Unless IABT, I think you're conflating him with a certain
ex-senatorial candidate.

--Jake "HIBT? HIL? IWHAND" K.

--
Jake Kesinger n914...@henson.cc.wwu.edu
"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ/ Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor
Wit/ Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line/ Nor all thy Tears wash out a

Bruce Ediger

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Nov 9, 1994, 1:04:52 PM11/9/94
to
rsho...@hydra.syr.EDU (Rich Holmes) wrote:
>With his waffling, bungling, and monumentally bad sense of political
>timing, Clinton engendered enough dislike to send the Democrats into a
>tailspin and deliver the U.S. Congress into the hands of Bob Dole,
>Newt Gingerich, Orrin Hatch, Jesse Helms, and Strom Thurmond. Even if
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^`

TROLL!!! Strom Thurmond is as dead as Red Skelton.

Diane Mathews

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 1:17:39 PM11/9/94
to
Just deleting the group i usually read from the newsgroup line.

>They don't got to protect George. Barb says he shops a Sam's Club and buys
>spagettie in the 10 ton easy to carry cargo container just like everyone else.
>George is cool =).
>He only lost cause of the economy and the president has almost no power over
>that.


>I think Alan Greenspan just didn't like George. I bet he doesn't like
>Clinton either, we won't be seeing Clinton in the nation's highest office after
>January 1997.
>Makes me feel all warm inside, how about you?
>


--
Diane Mathews My opinions, and mine alone.
Alias: FSDM #0.1/2 or Comrade Snapperhead, 2nd Mate
"I know the whole world is not out to get me,
But I won't be sleeping anymore." - Animal Logic

Paul Linden

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Nov 9, 1994, 1:45:16 PM11/9/94
to
In article <94312.145...@psuvm.psu.edu> cfb103 <CFB...@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>I admit, since Ronnie's announcement, I have been somewhat perplexed. I had
>always thought that Alzheimer's could only be positively diagnosed post-mortem,
>by taking brain samples. How do they know it's not just run-of-the-mill
>forgetfulness/senility or whatever?
>
> -Josh "I wonder if he's the first?" Munn

I believe it can be diagnosed by taking a brain-sample while the patient
is still alive. All it needs is a small hole drilled in the scalp and a
small piece of tissue removed.

Paul `I'm not a doctor (of medicine), but I read the health columns in
the newspapers' Linden

John M. Vogel

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 3:16:39 PM11/9/94
to
cfb103 (CFB...@psuvm.psu.edu) wrote:

: I admit, since Ronnie's announcement, I have been somewhat perplexed. I had


: always thought that Alzheimer's could only be positively diagnosed post-mortem,
: by taking brain samples. How do they know it's not just run-of-the-mill
: forgetfulness/senility or whatever?

That is still true. What they do is rule out causes from other
conditions, be they metabolic, organic, etc, and if no other cause can
explain it, they consider it Alzheimer's for treatment purposes.

Registered Nurse
|jvo...@crl.com |

Scott Dorsey

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Nov 9, 1994, 2:02:39 PM11/9/94
to
In article <39r304$o...@burgundy.csn.net> bed...@teal.csn.org (Bruce Ediger) writes:
>rsho...@hydra.syr.EDU (Rich Holmes) wrote:
>>With his waffling, bungling, and monumentally bad sense of political
>>timing, Clinton engendered enough dislike to send the Democrats into a
>>tailspin and deliver the U.S. Congress into the hands of Bob Dole,
>>Newt Gingerich, Orrin Hatch, Jesse Helms, and Strom Thurmond. Even if
>
>TROLL!!! Strom Thurmond is as dead as Red Skelton.

Orrin Hatch died in 1965, but they keep propping him up behind the desk
and his supporters continue to vote for him. The smell was pretty rank for
a few years, but the corpse is dried out enough now that it's not too
objectionable. Just watch C-SPAN... you can see the janitor coming out and
dusting him now and then.
--scott
--
"C'est un Nagra. C'est suisse, et tres, tres precis."

Nyani-Iisha Martin

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 2:41:14 PM11/9/94
to
David Chris Regan (fo...@cats.ucsc.edu) wrote:
: >: MOST PEOPLE ACTUALLY GOT A LAUGH OUT OF IT. In simpler terms, get off your

: >: panty-waist PC ass high horse and deal. This isn't exactly the Miss Manners
: >: area of the net you know...
: >.. not with snot-nosed little pukes like you on it, it's not. What the
: >hell has Cindy ever done to offend anyone? You owe her an apology, though
: >doubtless we won't see one from the likes of you.

: Er..yeah right. I'm just exercising my right to be just as self-righteous as
: she seems to be.

What's self-righteous about saying that it's cruel to laugh at sick people?

Ny

--
_____________ _____________
Nyani-Iisha (Ny) Martin nfma...@fas.harvard.edu

"The world is a complicated place, Hobbes."
"Whenever it seems that way, I take a nap and wait for dinner."

-----from "Scientific Progress Goes Boink"
by Bill Watterson

Jason Christian

unread,
Nov 8, 1994, 3:05:37 PM11/8/94
to
In article <39ojhd$2...@panix3.panix.com>, Steven Cherry <s...@panix.com> wrote:
>In <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
>
>>someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
>>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>>>
>>>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."
>
>>You know this was uncalled for, don't you?
>
>>I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
>>particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.
>
>>It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...
>
>I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world
>protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
>of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.
>
>
>Steven "If I thought Reagan understood his sins I would regret that
>he'll now forget them" Cherry

(looks at newsgroups line, browses vocabulary-chooser. Click, drag,
middle-finger^H^H^H^H^H^Hbutton:)
^^ Not a smiley, dammit. There is Only
One True Smiley: }d-Q
Sheesh.

I shall leave aside the question of trolling, and avoid wondering why
this putrid piece of garbage keeps floating by the Corsair. I note
only that Mr. Cherry seems to have adopted the Christian fallacy: he
makes one human being responsible for all that went wrong. He thinks
Reagan was responsible for all that stuff? With his bile, he lets off
the hook a whole host of fools, charlatans, criminals, and con-men, as
well as many sincere, intelligent, and occasionally articulate, if
sadly misguided, people who actually, implausible as it may seem,
believed the bill of goods that the Reagan campaigns sold them.

--
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jason Christian Agricultural Economics
ja...@gordy.ucdavis.edu University of California, Davis
Office:(916)752-1357 FAX:(916)752-5614 Davis, CA 95616

johnny y?

unread,
Nov 8, 1994, 7:16:19 PM11/8/94
to
FUCK Reagan. The Only, and I repeat ONLY thing sad about him getting Alzheimers
is that the facist nazi bastard won't remember the blood of millions of Central
Americans on his hand. I wish there was a god so he could ROT IN HELL.
If you think this is sick:Eat me. Eat the friggin dingleberries on my anal
hair. My grandmother had Alzheimer's, so I know how terrible it is, and that
is EXACTLY why I am celebrating the fact that he has it. May he live long with
this disease. May he deficate in his pants. May he bath in his own upchuck.
may he rot away in his own urine. Where is my compassion? yeah, well, sell your
Rush fat assed Limbarrrrrrrrrf sob story in El Salvador, Grenada or any other
In article <39orj4$h...@cville-srv.wam.umd.edu>
country unlucky enough to feel the US iron fist of imperialism.

Starcap'n Ra

unread,
Nov 8, 1994, 7:01:24 PM11/8/94
to
rock...@wam.umd.edu (rockwell) writes:
> David Chris Regan (fo...@cats.ucsc.edu) wrote:
> :In simpler terms, get off your panty-waist PC ass high horse and deal.

> :This isn't exactly the Miss Manners area of the net you know...
>
> .. not with snot-nosed little pukes like you on it, it's not. What the
> hell has Cindy ever done to offend anyone? You owe her an apology, though
> doubtless we won't see one from the likes of you.

Oh fuck off, you stupid twit. He doesn't
owe anybody jack shit.

And get the HELL out of talk.bizarre
while you're at it. When it comes to puppets,
we're more interested in Shari Lewis' puppet
than we are in Ronald Reagan.

--Starcap'n Ra, {ames,gatech,husc6,rutgers}!ncar!noao!asuvax!kennedy
a LOT more {allegra,decvax,ihnp4,oddjob}--^
interested, as ^---------------The Wrong Choice

dangerous horse

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 4:45:56 PM11/9/94
to
In article <39pa4b$b...@nntp1.u.washington.edu>,

NinjaBOB of the Fuuma Clan <guy...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
>
>They don't got to protect George. Barb says he shops a Sam's Club and buys
>spagettie in the 10 ton easy to carry cargo container just like everyone else.
>George is cool =).
>He only lost cause of the economy and the president has almost no power over
>that.
>I think Alan Greenspan just didn't like George. I bet he doesn't like
>Clinton either, we won't be seeing Clinton in the nation's highest office after
>January 1997.
>Makes me feel all warm inside, how about you?

that warm feeling you're getting is really just
the urine soaking into your pants. i suggest
you go home and change.

m

and don't come back without your brain cell
--
skeleton rattle your mouldy leg
all men s lovers come to this
archy

TGHunter

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 5:05:08 PM11/9/94
to
In article <1706810F0E...@VM.TEMPLE.EDU>, V53...@VM.TEMPLE.EDU
(johnny y?) writes:

>FUCK Reagan. The Only, and I repeat ONLY thing sad about him getting
>Alzheimers is that the facist nazi bastard won't remember the blood of
millions >of Central Americans on his hand. I wish there was a god so he
could ROT >IN HELL.
> If you think this is sick:Eat me. Eat the friggin dingleberries on my
anal
> hair. My grandmother had Alzheimer's, so I know how terrible it is,
and that
> is EXACTLY why I am celebrating the fact that he has it. May he live
long >with this disease. May he deficate in his pants. May he bath in his
own >upchuck. may he rot away in his own urine. Where is my compassion?
yeah, >well, sell your Rush fat assed Limbarrrrrrrrrf sob story in El

Salvador, >Grenada or any other country unlucky enough to feel the US iron
fist of >imperialism.

Yeh. but, how do you really feel about him?

Tom

Martin H. Booda

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 5:10:36 PM11/9/94
to
In article <39ojhd$2...@panix3.panix.com>, s...@panix.com (Steven Cherry) writes:
|> In <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
|>
|> >someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
|> >> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
|> >>
|> >>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."
|>
|> >You know this was uncalled for, don't you?
|>
|> >I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
|> >particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.
|>
|> >It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...
|>
|> I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world
|> protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
|> of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.
|>
Yeah, I thought this was vindictive at first; and then I remembered that ol'
RR was responsible for delaying fetal tissue research into possible cures for
degenerative brain diseases such as Alzheimer's for eight years. And now they
say that the Pope may have Parkinson's. And to think I used to believe that
there was no Just God...
--
USENET:Artifact Creature, Casting Cost 1B. Summon Net. 10/2, Rampage: 3. Swamp-
walk,Trample,Regeneration,Lure,First Strike.Gains 2 pts of power for each point
of black mana. Negates banding and protection of all creatures in play. Text:
"Legend has it that the Net used to be nastier,but how could that be?"Martin H.
Booda(bo...@navo.navy.mil)|"Back off, man. I'm a scientist." -- Dr. P. Venkman

C Burke

unread,
Nov 8, 1994, 7:19:35 PM11/8/94
to
Cindy Kandolf <ci...@nvg.unit.no> wrote:

>someone calling himself "guaifenesin" <ro...@netcom.com> writes:
>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."
>You know this was uncalled for, don't you?

Huh? Demonstrating the ease with which one can be trolled
in an environment as unforgiving as talk.bizarre? It
sure *is* uncalled-for! But rone (forgive me for restoring
the proper attribution, Cindy) isn't the one who did that.

>I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
>particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.
>It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...

I sure as hell do. Since we're just now getting the
"diagnosis," in the case of Ronald Reagan it means one
of two things: (1) We had a President suffering from
Alzheimer's for 8 years or (2) This is a crass attempt
on somebody's part to exclude Ronny from culpability
for the crap his Administration put this country through.

You pick.


Caitlin
I wonder what they'll come up with to protect George?

Andrew Hall

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 4:38:56 PM11/9/94
to
>>>>> Bruce Ediger writes:

Bruce> rsho...@hydra.syr.EDU (Rich Holmes) wrote:
>> With his waffling, bungling, and monumentally bad sense of political
>> timing, Clinton engendered enough dislike to send the Democrats into a
>> tailspin and deliver the U.S. Congress into the hands of Bob Dole,
>> Newt Gingerich, Orrin Hatch, Jesse Helms, and Strom Thurmond. Even if

Bruce> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^`

Bruce> TROLL!!! Strom Thurmond is as dead as Red Skelton.

It will be fun to have a 91 corpse and as the head
of the Armed Forces Committee.

He will be joined by my personal heroe Jessie
Helmes, chair of the Foreign Relations, D'Amato
gets Banking. A perennial favorite, Orrin Hatch
gets to bash Supreme Court nominees. Packwood
gets Finance. These are just the highlights.

ah

=======================================================================

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity,
family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.
-- Ex Vice President Dan Quayle, 1988

guaifenesin

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 6:39:57 PM11/9/94
to
In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no>,
Cindy Kandolf <ci...@nvg.unit.no> wrote:

>someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."

>You know this was uncalled for, don't you?

>I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
>particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.
>It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...

Alright, hold it RIGHT THERE. Everyone. Nobody will follow up to
this thread ANY LONGER unless you do so to the newsgroup to which i
set the followups in my original post. Capisce?

Now, Cindy, since i'm all pissy because, mostly thanks to you, this
thread got spilled ALL OVER t.b and a.f.u, who don't need the extra
crap, i'm going to systematically DRAW and QUARTER you, and don't take
it personally, because i like you, and therefore i'll do my best to
refrain from calling you mean names, like "doodiehead".

- EXERCISE: Determine where in my original post i actually wished
Alzheimer on RWR or dyslexia on Dano.

- EXERCISE: Determine how much (or little) i know about Alzheimer's
or dyslexia from the above post.

- EXERCISE: Determine the amount of irony involved in Reagan's
(late?) diagnosis.

Given the VERY SLIM CHANCE that you're actually attempting to troll
little ol' me, i would have to refer you to the good Starcap'n Ra for
sentencing.

I must admit that i was shocked to see your reply to my post,
considering you usually display high quality thought processes. I
sincerely hope you were simply having a "bad day" so that i can
dismiss this lame attempt at knocking some morality into me (where i
obviously need none) as a fluke.

hugs,
5150
=====
aside to cd: yes, 1970 would be what i would've said if i'd've known
when reagan became governor. serves me right for not researching
properly before posting provocative pieces of irony.
--
Do you have the time
to listen to me whine?

YuNoHoo

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 6:49:12 PM11/9/94
to
Paul Linden (et...@tuhhco.rz.tu-harburg.de) wrote:
: ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
: >
: > Minta garpu dan sudu.

: ^^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^
: Ok, Cindy, eventually someone's going to ask. We might as well get it
: over and done with as soon as possible. What does this mean?

The fun part is that I overheard the following comment from one of
the staff in the languague dept of the bookshop i frequent:

"Why are all these people suddenly asking for _Latin
for all occations_ these days?"

---

NinjaBOB of the Fuuma Clan

unread,
Nov 8, 1994, 8:54:19 PM11/8/94
to
In article <39p4in$b...@nntp1.u.washington.edu>,

C Burke <cait...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
>
>
>Caitlin
>I wonder what they'll come up with to protect George?

They don't got to protect George. Barb says he shops a Sam's Club and buys

Lee Rudolph

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 1:47:38 PM11/9/94
to
dke...@bio4.acpub.duke.edu (Jim Cambias) writes:

>c...@crl.com (Craig Dickson) writes:
>|>
>|> Out here in California, many of us knew he had Alzheimers as early as
>|> 1970 when he was Governor...
>
>Ha ha ha, an old man is sick!
>Next let's go down to the hospital and laugh at the accident victims.
>
>Jim Cambias
>Disgusted

Jim, I don't think your critique of Craig is fair at all.

I have no reason to believe that if, say, it was announced
that Reagan had leukemia (for instance), or indeed any other
disease that doesn't intrinsically have an association with
poor mental functioning, Craig (or most--or any--of the others
who have posted to similar effect, here and there) would have
taken the announcement as an occasion of fun (even though he,
or they, or I might--or might not--be quietly pleased). It's
precisely because Reagan has for years had an image (in my
opinion, well-deserved) as a man who doesn't think very well
that the announcement is an occasion of fun. And even so,
I don't think that just any notable dumb-dumb who announced
his own presumptive Alzheimer's diagnosis would attract all
the jokes: it makes a real difference that he spent so long
putting whatever mental powers he had to so many evil ends
(from the point of view of the joke-makers).

I do try to understand, though I can neither empathize with nor
condone, the outpouring of sympathy I see for Reagan on the net.

Lee "but I still would like to see him impeached ex post facto;
and Kissinger convicted of war crimes, for that matter" Rudolph

Stephan Zielinski

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 7:38:10 PM11/9/94
to
dke...@bio4.acpub.duke.edu (Jim Cambias) writes:
>Ha ha ha, an old man is sick!
>Next let's go down to the hospital and laugh at the accident victims.

If I get to pick the accident victims, I'd buy front row seats.

Doctor: And here we have Jesse Helms. Don't worry, his eyebrows
will grow back.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Doctor: Here's Dan Quayle. It took us six hours to clean the golf
club after surgery.
Me: STOP! STOP! YOU'RE KILLING ME!
Doctor: And poor Clarence Thomas. He won't be complaining about his
Coke cans any time soon!
Me: WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!

--
Stephan "Voted. Went home. Listened to the election returns. Drank.
Wept." Zielinski

David Chris Regan

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 8:13:10 PM11/9/94
to

ER, obviously you have never quite grasped the concept of H U M O R
Let me explain. Most forms of humor involve poking fun at something,someone
or some idea. Many of the more popular jokes poke fun at things,people or ideas
that most people really rather dislike. Then came the Political Correctness
revolution. Now jokes aren't allowed to offend anyone. This is a logical
impossibility since obviously someone must either a) be and/or care about that
person,idea or group, otherwise it never would have appeared in the first place.
All you're really left with is really inane humor. (ie. the chicken that crossed
the road sindrome) which I personally feel circumvents the whole problem to no
fruitful end by annoying everyone.
Peope should just get a grip. I wasn't posting a joke about the KKK, or
burning Jews, or little timmy in the hospital being eaten by a giant shrub,
I (and others) were joking about the president that we had in the 1980's that
royally fucked up our economy to no end. Under the Reagan administration
our national debt quadrupled to 4 trillion dollars. He used that money to
both fund idiotic military expendatures like star wars (which any programmer
could have told him in a minute wouldn't work with the tech available then)
and to artificially boost the economy. Under his leadership, Japanese cartels
swamped the us computer chip market with silicon that was coming out for less
than it cost them to make it, financed and supported by their government.
Did uncle ronnie help, by imposing tarrifs or subsidizing the US chip industry?
Hell no. Needless to say, think about that the next time you try and find
an American built VCR, or memory, for that matter. But I digress, twits and
morons have ALWAYS been fair game for a little satirical humor, and Reagan
is definitely that (you pick).


-Dave
fo...@cats.ucsc.edu

sheesh, just let it lie already...it's really kind of sad how many people
admire Reagan, but that's irrelevant. Accept humor for what it is. to laugh
or not laugh. not to constantly flame (unless it's truly lame..<grin>)


<unreadable>

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 8:54:30 PM11/9/94
to
David Chris Regan (fo...@cats.ucsc.edu) wrote:
[collectivist spam deleted]
When are you people going to realize that all government can legitamently do
in a free society is provide protection of life/property? If you grant them
anything more than the most limited of scope of powers, you will be allowing
the monster that is government to grow into the grotesque proportions it has
today. Just think about it: virtually problem that presents itself, people
go crying to Congress, as if they were God or some other mythical being.
Of what affect is this? It makes everyone and everything beholden to one
ruling elite, and it doesn't matter if they are Repub. or Dem., all they
live for is taking from you and giving to someone else. They own you
because you depend on them to solve all your problems.

The Republicans are nothing to rave about, but at least they pay lip-service
to the idea that one man does not have to 'serve' his fellow man or any other
illusionary group that the latest batch of societal parasites wants to 'help'.


David DeLaney

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 10:02:01 PM11/9/94
to
fo...@cats.ucsc.edu (David Chris Regan) writes:
[Alzheimer's joking, charges, and countercharges forgotten]

>Peope should just get a grip. I wasn't posting a joke about the KKK, or
>burning Jews, or little timmy in the hospital being eaten by a giant shrub,

I want to hear the joke about little timmy and the giant shrub, myself...

Dave "a momentary lapse of rationality" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. Disclaimer: IMHO; VRbeableWIKTHLC
http://enigma.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ / New ExploTab protection!!1!

Stephan Zielinski

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 10:14:01 PM11/9/94
to
bed...@teal.csn.org (Bruce Ediger) writes:
>As a native speaker of Norwegian, I can authoritatively tell you that
>"Minta garpu dan sudu" is exactly translated as "Klaatu Baradu Nictu".

"Did you say it right this time?"

"Well, maybe I didn't pronounce every single solitary little
syllable..."

GLAAAHHH!!!! "I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!!!"


Oh, never mind...

--
Stephan Zielinski szielins%dvl...@us.oracle.com
Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX.

Charles Phillip Kalina

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 11:10:56 PM11/9/94
to
talk.bizzare deleted, as my machine won't post there

In article <39r304$o...@burgundy.csn.net>,


Bruce Ediger <bed...@teal.csn.org> wrote:
>TROLL!!! Strom Thurmond is as dead as Red Skelton.

Really? This is news. Are there any procedural rules in
Congress as to whether the dead can assume the chairmanship of
committees? (In this case, armed sevices).

Perhaps the dead truly have risen from the grave to vote Republican...


--
Charles P. Kalina, Political Genius and Policy Maven
"It is the mission of neoconservatism to explain to the American people
why they are right and to the intellectuals why they are wrong."
-Irving Kristol

Weihnachtsfrosch

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 1:19:09 AM11/10/94
to
In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no>,
Cindy Kandolf <ci...@nvg.unit.no> wrote:
>someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:


(*plonk*)


>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>>
>>Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."
>
>You know this was uncalled for, don't you?
>

I would like to state for the record that I personally asked
mr. rone to do this.

Retroactively, of course.

So there.

jkc

(for anyone who cares - I'm returning to DC next week. email for details.)

Cindy Kandolf

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 3:11:21 AM11/10/94
to

Wow. I'm a trend setter.

But "Minta garpu dan sudu" isn't Latin. It's Malaysian.

-Cindy Kandolf, FSDM #1.1/2, certified language mechanic, mamma flodnak
ci...@nvg.unit.no
Trondheim, Norway
Minta garpu dan sudu.

igua...@matai.vuw.ac.nz

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 3:29:09 AM11/10/94
to
In article <tilleyCy...@netcom.com>,

til...@netcom.com (Tom Tilley) writes:
> In article <39ojhd$2...@panix3.panix.com>,
> s...@panix.com (Steven Cherry) writes:

>>I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world
>>protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
>>of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.
>

> No, you can't be "allowed" such delight in a civilized society. You
> can "take" such delight because your thoughts are your own, but you
> can't sensibly expect thoughtful people to offer you approval or
> understanding.

From across the wide gulf of ideological divide, a twenty one gun
salute from the HMS BURKE to Mr. Tilley for his sense of fair play,
so admirably and succintly stated -- especially since we know what
his opinion of Mr. Reagan's policies generally is. If I may analogise,
Mr. Reagan opened a very wide door for those on the make for the easy,
cheap joke -- and Tom has not only refused to enter, but has barred the
door himself.

Good deeds should not go unrewarded, I say. We'll send over a complimentary
case of Earl Grey in the morning.


> Tom "I voted mostly Democratic this morning" Tilley.

And you have our condolences!

R.M. "The Iguana" Lender
Republican Party Reptile

Bill Anderson

unread,
Nov 9, 1994, 2:00:20 PM11/9/94
to
Steven Cherry (s...@panix.com) wrote:

: I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world


: protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
: of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.

Vindictive little prick aren't you? Ever worry that you'll get the
fate you deserve? Not many of us could survive that.

I wasn't overly fond of RR--hell, I wasn't at all fond of him, and I
think his presidency will turn out to have been one of the worst in
American history, when all the cards are in. He did a lot of harm to
the social fabric of the nation, and his fiscal hypocrisy has made
it almost impossible for anybody else to govern. Does his having
Alzheimer's change any of that? Just give you a warm glow, maybe,
knowing somebody else is suffering for sins you never had the chance
to commit?

I denounce this asswipe. Still out on Pol Pot, though.

Bill Anderson, SDM

Andrew Welsh

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 8:20:22 AM11/10/94
to
fo...@cats.ucsc.edu (David Chris Regan) wrote:

>
> In article <39r8kq$h...@decaxp.harvard.edu> nfma...@scws8.harvard.edu (Nyani-Iisha Martin) writes:

[David Chris Regan insults Cindy for being "self-righteous"]

> >What's self-righteous about saying that it's cruel to laugh at sick people?
> >
> >Ny

> ER, obviously you have never quite grasped the concept of H U M O R


> Let me explain. Most forms of humor involve poking fun at something,someone
> or some idea. Many of the more popular jokes poke fun at things,people or
> ideas
> that most people really rather dislike. Then came the Political Correctness
> revolution. Now jokes aren't allowed to offend anyone. This is a logical
> impossibility since obviously someone must either a) be and/or care about
> that
> person,idea or group, otherwise it never would have appeared in the first
> place.
> All you're really left with is really inane humor. (ie. the chicken that
> crossed
> the road sindrome) which I personally feel circumvents the whole problem to
> no
> fruitful end by annoying everyone.
> Peope should just get a grip. I wasn't posting a joke about the KKK, or
> burning Jews, or little timmy in the hospital being eaten by a giant shrub,

But why would this be any different under your preceding conditions. Most
people dislike the KKK and burning Jews, thus it *must* be okay to make jokes
about them. As for all this US politics guff, take it out of AFU.

Andrew "but otherwise, I agree with Dave DeLaney" Welsh
--
Andrew Welsh (and...@bnr.ca) - All views in this posting are mine alone
'Reality,' sa Molesworth 2, 'is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder'

Joseph Bay

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 9:39:16 AM11/10/94
to
sma...@netcom.com (Steve Mayer) writes:

> But why on God's green earth can't you people _at least_ pick up the
^^^^^ ^^^^^
>beer cans from your front yard?
^ ^^^
I'd just like to point out that I read this thing as "God's green card".
I'd like to be diagnosed with aphasia, please.


--
"There is much more to this demented post, than this paragraph."
-- Andrew Beckwith "Grate spirits have always encountered violint
opposition from mediocer minds" -- A. Einstein
"Without trolling, the Internet wouldn't be where it is today" --John Yeung

Joseph Bay

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 9:41:04 AM11/10/94
to
da...@9th.circle.hell.com (Cerberus) writes:

>It's the Mentos creed. It means "Mint grasps penii in the Sudan."

Hey, Mr. Most-Recent-Etymologist, don't invoke the Mentos creed unless
you truly mean it!

Joseph Bay

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 9:47:52 AM11/10/94
to
d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu (David DeLaney) writes:

>I want to hear the joke about little timmy and the giant shrub, myself...

Little Timmy Shergold is in the hospital after a near-fatal incident with
a giant shrub. His dying wish is that people from all over the world
send him green cards. He hopes to make the Guinness Book of World Records.
Won't you please help fulfil this dying boy's last wish?

Joseph Bay

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 10:34:03 AM11/10/94
to
igua...@matai.vuw.ac.nz writes:

>R.M. "The Iguana" Lender

Could I borrow an iguana?

YuNoHoo

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 11:50:36 AM11/10/94
to
Tom Tilley (til...@netcom.com) wrote:
: In article <39ojhd$2...@panix3.panix.com>,
: s...@panix.com (Steven Cherry) writes:
: >
: > [...] If the world

: >protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
: >of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.

: No, you can't be "allowed" such delight in a civilized society. You


: can "take" such delight because your thoughts are your own, but you
: can't sensibly expect thoughtful people to offer you approval or
: understanding.

Of course you're allowed to think whatever you like, but it's not
called "thinking" to post whatever world-wide on the net.

---
YuNoHoo "anything you think may be used against you..."

Weihnachtsfrosch

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 12:43:46 PM11/10/94
to
In article <39pa4b$b...@nntp1.u.washington.edu>,
NinjaBOB of the Fuuma Clan <guy...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
>In article <39p4in$b...@nntp1.u.washington.edu>,

>They don't got to protect George. Barb says he shops a Sam's Club and buys
>spagettie in the 10 ton easy to carry cargo container just like everyone else.

well, we know how to test that assertion, don't we?

head.

pike.

lawn.


incidentally, let me reiterate here by reference all the nasty things
I have ever said about the University of Washington.

obviously time to dispatch jhw to seattle again for another trial of the
eugenically selective nerve gas. This time, all coffee breaks should be
taken at the last exit - by no means at the Husky Den. And if you happen
to run into the guy with the duffel bag on the street, stay the hell away.

jkc


Cerberus

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 1:50:03 PM11/10/94
to
In article <39tbe0$j...@er5.rutgers.edu>, b...@eden.rutgers.edu (Joseph Bay)
wrote:

> da...@9th.circle.hell.com (Cerberus) writes:
>
> >It's the Mentos creed. It means "Mint grasps penii in the Sudan."
>
> Hey, Mr. Most-Recent-Etymologist, don't invoke the Mentos creed unless
> you truly mean it!

Oh, fine, tell me now after it's too damn late and the Mentos Gods have
already punished me with a GOP-controlled Congress.

--
Cerberus is the only one who knows the "most recent" etymology of "etymology."

Scott Dorsey

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 2:04:00 PM11/10/94
to
In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no> ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) writes:
>
>But "Minta garpu dan sudu" isn't Latin. It's Malaysian.

Actually, there is no "Malaysian," unless you want to consider
Bhasa Malaysia to do the trick, and it isn't even very well
standardized as Malay dialects go. (Yes, this is in Malay,
and might be valid Bhasa Malaysia, though I don't know the
formal grammar for B.M.)
--scott
--
"C'est un Nagra. C'est suisse, et tres, tres precis."

Bill Anderson

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 12:34:30 PM11/10/94
to
Andrew Hall (ah...@cs.uml.edu) wrote:

: It will be fun to have a 91 corpse and as the head


: of the Armed Forces Committee.

: He will be joined by my personal heroe Jessie
: Helmes, chair of the Foreign Relations, D'Amato
: gets Banking. A perennial favorite, Orrin Hatch
: gets to bash Supreme Court nominees. Packwood
: gets Finance. These are just the highlights.

Jesus, what a scary list.

Why don't they just cut out the middle man and make John Gotti
head of Banking and Finance?

Bill Anderson, SDM

Orc

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 3:39:21 PM11/10/94
to
>Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.religion.kibology,alt.folklore.urban,alt.fan.dan-quayle

My! What a delicious collection of newsgroups.

In article <39rugm$j...@netnews.upenn.edu>, <unreadable> <unreadable> wrote:
[cluelessness deleted]

>The Republicans are nothing to rave about, but at least they pay lip-service
>to the idea that one man does not have to 'serve' his fellow man or any other
>illusionary group that the latest batch of societal parasites wants to 'help'.

Oh ho ho ho! You're still in school, aren'tcha? Don't read the
papers much, either -- no, buckwheat, it's payback time in the land
of the conservatives, and this year the gun nuts and the religious
right hold all the IOUs.

I can HARDLY wait. Why, the possibilities are ENDLESS. It's a
NEW DAY IN AMERICA, at least for NORMAL people.

____
david parsons \bi/ Marshmallow? Weenie roast?
\/

Andrew Hall

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 4:04:07 PM11/10/94
to

>>>>> Bill Anderson writes:

Bill> Andrew Hall (ah...@cs.uml.edu) wrote:
>> It will be fun to have a 91 corpse and as the head of the Armed
>> Forces Committee.

>> He will be joined by my personal heroe Jessie Helmes, chair of
>> the Foreign Relations, D'Amato gets Banking. A perennial
>> favorite, Orrin Hatch gets to bash Supreme Court nominees.
>> Packwood gets Finance. These are just the highlights.

Bill> Jesus, what a scary list.

Bill> Why don't they just cut out the middle man and make John
Bill> Gotti head of Banking and Finance?

Nah, he is too honest.

ah

=======================================================================

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy - but that could change.
-- Ex Vice President Dan Quayle

ANDREA KONVINSE

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 5:02:00 PM11/10/94
to
Gee, I don't know... I mean, Alzheimer's is a dreadful
disease, but wasn't he the president who just kept
saying "I don't remember" whenever he was asked anything
to do with just about anything??? :)

andrea

C Burke

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 5:33:59 PM11/10/94
to
<igua...@matai.vuw.ac.nz> wrote:
>til...@netcom.com (Tom Tilley) writes:
>>[stuff]

>From across the wide gulf of ideological divide, a twenty one gun
>salute from the HMS BURKE to Mr. Tilley for his sense of fair play,
>[deletia]

>Good deeds should not go unrewarded, I say. We'll send over a complimentary
>case of Earl Grey in the morning.

Me, me, me!! I'm almost out.... This *is* the F&M Earl Grey, yes?


Caitlin "HMS" Burke

YuNoHoo

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 6:26:37 PM11/10/94
to
Cindy Kandolf (ci...@nvg.unit.no) wrote:
: YuNoHoo writes:
: >The fun part is that I overheard the following comment from one of

: >the staff in the languague dept of the bookshop i frequent:
: >
: > "Why are all these people suddenly asking for _Latin
: > for all occations_ these days?"
:
: Wow. I'm a trend setter.
:
: But "Minta garpu dan sudu" isn't Latin. It's Malaysian.

Don't think that'll make the sweet girl in the bookshop less confused.
(Another thing is that she somehow connects my person with any weird
and confusing request she gets...)

---
YuNoHoo "norskies got some gene causing libraryfobia
and buy every book they read"

Dan Grazier

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 7:26:50 PM11/10/94
to
In article <kludgeCz...@netcom.com> klu...@netcom.com (Scott Dorsey) writes:
>From: klu...@netcom.com (Scott Dorsey)
>Subject: Re: Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>Date: Wed, 9 Nov 1994 19:02:39 GMT

>In article <39r304$o...@burgundy.csn.net> bed...@teal.csn.org (Bruce Ediger) writes:
>>rsho...@hydra.syr.EDU (Rich Holmes) wrote:
>>>With his waffling, bungling, and monumentally bad sense of political
>>>timing, Clinton engendered enough dislike to send the Democrats into a
>>>tailspin and deliver the U.S. Congress into the hands of Bob Dole,
>>>Newt Gingerich, Orrin Hatch, Jesse Helms, and Strom Thurmond. Even if


>>
>>TROLL!!! Strom Thurmond is as dead as Red Skelton.

>Orrin Hatch died in 1965, but they keep propping him up behind the desk
>and his supporters continue to vote for him. The smell was pretty rank for
>a few years, but the corpse is dried out enough now that it's not too
>objectionable. Just watch C-SPAN... you can see the janitor coming out and
>dusting him now and then.


>--scott
>--
>"C'est un Nagra. C'est suisse, et tres, tres precis."

The only thing I've noticed in government that is totally dead is Bill
Clinton's brain. I cite as proof his ridiculous explanation of the
Republican conquest and his choice of who to marry. I think his condition
predates Reagan's problem by at least 30 years.

Ronald Reagan with Alzheimer's is worth two Bill Clinton's without it.
**********************************************************
* People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but *
* they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all *
* the idiots in the world. *
* - Calvin *

Eric P Kimbel

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 8:21:29 PM11/10/94
to
In article <smayerCy...@netcom.com>,
Steve Mayer <sma...@netcom.com> wrote:
>Steven Cherry (s...@panix.com) wrote:
> [deletia]
>: I would wish Alzheimer's on Reagan, and without much shame. If the world

>: protects someone from his actual crimes, we can at least be allowed a bit
>: of delight when some unexpected misfortune befalls him.
> Well, you know the old saying, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating
>the intelligence of a registered Democrat."

> But why on God's green earth can't you people _at least_ pick up the
>beer cans from your front yard?


I resent that!! I prefer my beer cans in the back YARD!!!

Eric "yes, I do have a front and a back yard" Kimbel


--and sometimes a dog, too!

igua...@matai.vuw.ac.nz

unread,
Nov 10, 1994, 9:37:17 PM11/10/94
to
In article <39tehb$p...@er5.rutgers.edu>, b...@eden.rutgers.edu (Joseph Bay) writes:
> igua...@matai.vuw.ac.nz writes:
>
>>R.M. "The Iguana" Lender
>
> Could I borrow an iguana?

Ok. But _you_ have to feed him. And clean up the igauna poo.

R.M. "The Iguana" Lender
Republican Party Reptile

----
"We got our butts kicked."
-- DNC Chairman David Wilhelm

Jack Campin

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 11:32:06 AM11/11/94
to
ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) wrote:
> someone calling himself "guaifenesin" writes:
>> Ronald Reagan confesses: "I have Alzheimer's."
>> Next week, Dan Quayle confesses: "I have dyslexia."
> You know this was uncalled for, don't you?
> I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
> particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.
> It also seems you don't know what Alzheimer's or dyslexia entails...

Too right. The Alzheimer's means he'll have no recollection of what he's
been responsible for, so none of the tens of thousands of people he had
condemned to torture or atrocious deaths will be on his conscience at the
end.

Something like a combination of retinitis pigmentosa, motor neurone
disease, and schizophrenia with guilt obsessions would be _much_ more
fitting. Leave the bastard to rot in darkness and silence, unable to
move, with the sounds of a Salvadorean torture cell or Angolan massacre
screaming inside his head for years on end.

--
-- Jack Campin -- Room 1.36, Dept. of Computing & EE, Heriot-Watt University,
Riccarton, Edinburgh EH14 4AS Home: 031 556 5272 Fax: 031 451 3431
Work: 031 449 5111 ext 4195 WWW: http://www.cee.hw.ac.uk/~jack/jack.html
Internet: ja...@cee.hw.ac.uk Bitnet: via UKACRL BANG!net: via mcsun & uknet

Nick Dedick

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 1:55:08 PM11/11/94
to

I always had a sneaking suspicion that Ronnie actually died in the
assassination attempt, and was replaced by a synthetic android,
whose memory cells are obviously going bad....
Before he took the bullet he had a slight wavering of his head,
like a wobble to it when he was speaking. They even used to exagerate
it for SNL skits.After he got shot he no longer had the wobble....


Plus you could see puppet strings get caught on the podium....
Or was it the puppeteer below with his fist in him....
I get them confused with Waylon Flowers and Madam....

The quote i seem to remember was "I didn't even know I was shot..."
It'd be nice to have a president that had a central nervous system...

Thank you and good night , i'll be appearing at a holiday inn near you,
with superstars "2 jacks and a jill".....

Joseph Bay

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 2:53:39 PM11/11/94
to
al...@news.cc.geneseo.edu (ANDREA KONVINSE) writes:

>wasn't he the president who just kept
>saying "I don't remember" whenever he was asked anything

Wait. That was Reagan? Are you sure? I don't remember that.

Joseph Bay

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 2:55:29 PM11/11/94
to
da...@9th.circle.hell.com (Cerberus) writes:

>In the Kingom of Boredom, I wear the royal sweatpants.--Mark Leyner
^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^

Mark Leyner sweats Nyarlathotep.

YWN,

Yes, ole chap, jab him!

Joseph Bay

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 3:01:03 PM11/11/94
to
trh...@uta.fi (Hiski Haapoja) writes:

>I slept better during the Reagan years than the next four ones with
>Quayle a heartbeat away from the presidency. Just imagine _him_
>defending the Free World against Saddam H. or the future Communist-
>Nazi regime of Russia.

Yeah, but you're in Finland, Finland Finland, the country where I'd most like
to be eating breakfast or supper, or snack lunch in the hall, Finland, Finland
Finland - Finland has it all.

Also, communist nazis seem a bit far-fetched. Kind of like Jewish Nazis,
or gay Nazis, or something like that. Just a thought. Not to say that
communists are intrinsically good (although communism is a hell of a lot better
than national socialism/fascism), just radically opposed to nazis historically.
In fact, many of the French Resistance members during WWII were communists,
which is why France is now a communist state.


Mike Young

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 3:54:38 PM11/11/94
to
In <39pkvn$c...@nntp1.u.washington.edu>, guy...@u.washington.edu (NinjaBOB of the Fuuma Clan) writes:
SNIP
>What? Are you saying that you didn't at least susspect Reagan had a
>illness that makes you forget, I mean come on....
>He just might have been telling the truth in those Iran-Contra hearings.
>If you need a refresher, his testimony consited of 10,214 instances of
>"I don't recall," or its variations.
Just wait 'til Banking committee CHAIRMAN Alfonse D'Amato reopens the
whitewater investigation.

OBTW: Thanks President CLinton!
We (GOP) couldn't have done it without you!


Michael J Young c1my...@bessie.watson.ibm.com Sapientia et Doctrina
TJ Watson Research Centre Yorktown Heights, NY USA WAHOOWA!!!
DoD#CLASSIFIED (lookin for a bike, got one to sell?) Standard Disclaimer(s)

Mike Young

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 4:12:13 PM11/11/94
to

>With his waffling, bungling, and monumentally bad sense of political
>timing, Clinton engendered enough dislike to send the Democrats into a
>tailspin and deliver the U.S. Congress into the hands of Bob Dole,
>Newt Gingerich, Orrin Hatch, Jesse Helms, and Strom Thurmond. Even if

>he were to get all the clues he's missing, even if Jesus Christ
>Himself were at the Fed, Clinton will accomplish absolutely,
>positively nothing whatsoever in the next two years before turning the
>presidency over to Bob Dole, Dan Quayle, or whoever else the
>Republican party chooses to nominate.
Ollie '96!
>Then the most racist, sexist,
>homophobic, uncaring, cynical, corrupt, and brutally efficient
>American government of our lifetime will begin its regime.
Democratic NewSpeak
>Not that I'm bitter or anything.
>- Rich Holmes

Steven Thornton

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 1:21:42 AM11/11/94
to
Bill Anderson (lib...@emoryu1.cc.emory.edu) wrote:

> Why don't they just cut out the middle man and make John Gotti
> head of Banking and Finance?

Gotti's going to be too busy serving as an advisor to the new Governor
of New York, George Pataki.
--
Steve Thornton | ste...@eskimo.com | http://www.eskimo.com/~stevet/

Martin Schafer

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 8:01:57 PM11/11/94
to
In article <94312.145...@psuvm.psu.edu> cfb103 <CFB...@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>
>I admit, since Ronnie's announcement, I have been somewhat perplexed. I had
>always thought that Alzheimer's could only be positively diagnosed post-mortem,
>by taking brain samples. How do they know it's not just run-of-the-mill
>forgetfulness/senility or whatever?
>

You can't make an absolutely definitive diagnosis without an autopsy,
(though that may be changing soon, there are some promising tests in
the pipeline). However, there has been a big change in the medical
communities attitude toward "runo-of-the-mill forgetfulness/senility".

Nowadays, forgetfulness or mental decline beyond the trivial, is
taken as a sign that there is something wrong, not just "Well you're
getting older." There are a number of progressive dementias, Alzheimer's
is the most common by far. Other frequent causes include transient
ischemic attacks (microstrokes), strokes of all kinds, medication,
diet, low blood pressure, etc.

I assume that Reagan is having sufficient severe forgetfulness (I
will avoid the cheap shot, I will, I will, I will) that his condition
was evaluated, narrowed down to a progressive dementia of some kind,
some forms eliminated, and a best guess diagnosis of Alzheimer's
made.

I hate Reagan more than almost any other political figure, but
this is a curse I wouldn't wish on anyone. I can't think of
anything more tragic than to have your memories, the things that
really make you you, slowly decay away. To become a complete and
utter burden on the people you care most about, ending as mindless
hulk that can't even recognize your wife or children. I hope
that death takes him while there is still enough left
to say goodbye to.

Martin


Diane Kelly

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 11:29:43 AM11/11/94
to

In article <39s6gg$4...@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu>, cka...@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu
(Charles Phillip Kalina) writes:
|> In article <39r304$o...@burgundy.csn.net>,

|> Bruce Ediger <bed...@teal.csn.org> wrote:
|> >TROLL!!! Strom Thurmond is as dead as Red Skelton.
|>
|> Really? This is news. Are there any procedural rules in
|> Congress as to whether the dead can assume the chairmanship of
|> committees? (In this case, armed sevices).
|>
|> Perhaps the dead truly have risen from the grave to vote
|> Republican...
|>
Having lived in Chicago for a while I think I can safely say that the
Democrats still have a lock on the vitality-challenged voting bloc.

Jim Cambias
Stir That Teapot
Misusing My Wife's Internet Account
At Duke

Harry Rayder Kaplan

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 9:11:02 PM11/11/94
to
In article <3a0ihv$i...@er5.rutgers.edu> b...@eden.rutgers.edu (Joseph Bay) writes:

>trh...@uta.fi (Hiski Haapoja) writes:
>
>Also, communist nazis seem a bit far-fetched. Kind of like Jewish Nazis,
>or gay Nazis, or something like that.

Gay nazis are not that far-fetched. Obviously, you've never been to a
Judas Priest concert.

Rayder "Licking the boots of a different crowd these days" Kaplan

--
hka...@panix.com [ Tribal House Dance Drum Dog ]
Say the word "winky" or press the pound key on your
telephone now and an operator will be right with you

Len Berlind

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 10:27:27 PM11/11/94
to
Jack Campin on the Ronald Reagan's alleged case of Alzheimer's
Disease. One notes that Jack apparently would agree with the
statement: "Alzheimer's is not a fittingly nasty way for that
particular dinosaur to go." But I digress:

: Something like a combination of retinitis pigmentosa, motor neurone


: disease, and schizophrenia with guilt obsessions would be _much_ more
: fitting. Leave the bastard to rot in darkness and silence, unable to
: move, with the sounds of a Salvadorean torture cell or Angolan massacre
: screaming inside his head for years on end.

Linguistic chainsaw. Campin at his incandescent best.

Two memories stand out for me from Olden Days. The first is Bill
Nelson drubbing me relentlessly into the ground when I attempted
a feeble troll. The second is Jack Campin's viciously evocative
description of an oxygen induced firestorm in a Las Vegas casino.
But I digress:

Yah, but visionaries need functionaries to carry out their Great
Crusades. Guys to do the scutwork. Faceless grubby scum to apply
the electrodes. Cold brutes to murder children. Podsnaps to cheer
them on. I submit that they are no less guilty than Reagan and
his keepers.

Stephan Zielinski

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 4:57:19 PM11/11/94
to
st...@balder.nta.no (YuNoHoo) wrote:
>Don't think that'll make the sweet girl in the bookshop less confused.
>(Another thing is that she somehow connects my person with any weird
>and confusing request she gets...)

Well, stop displaying your `person' and making weird requests of the
poor thing, then...

--
Stephan "If he went in with Derek and Andy I bet she would suffocate
with laughter" Zielinski

JeanMarc C Rocher

unread,
Nov 12, 1994, 1:33:49 AM11/12/94
to
ANDREA KONVINSE (al...@news.cc.geneseo.edu) wrote:
: Gee, I don't know... I mean, Alzheimer's is a dreadful

: andrea

Just like Dorothy Parker said when she heard that Calvin Coolidge was dead:

"How can they tell?"

Jean-Marc"At least one person will be able to forget the Reagan years"Rocher
roc...@world.std.com

Carlos May

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 11:51:23 AM11/11/94
to
Joseph Bay (b...@eden.rutgers.edu) wrote:
: d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu (David DeLaney) writes:

: >I want to hear the joke about little timmy and the giant shrub, myself...

: Little Timmy Shergold is in the hospital after a near-fatal incident with
: a giant shrub. His dying wish is that people from all over the world
: send him green cards. He hopes to make the Guinness Book of World Records.
: Won't you please help fulfil this dying boy's last wish?

I believe you have it slightly wrong. Timmy lost his greencard due to
Alzheimers contracted from an infected Guinnes World Record Book. He
wants everyone to send him a shrubery.
I believe the confusion is due to a mistranslation from the original
Malaysian.

Cerberus

unread,
Nov 12, 1994, 4:16:47 AM11/12/94
to
In article <3a0i7h$h...@er5.rutgers.edu>, b...@eden.rutgers.edu (Joseph Bay)
wrote:

Ah, a fellow aficianado! Cheers!

YDL,
cey

--
Cerberus is the only one who knows the etymology of "etymology."
You know what a chain link fence is? A ladder.

Hiski Haapoja

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 6:15:35 AM11/11/94
to
Carlos May <fro...@new-orleans.NeoSoft.com> wrote:

> We here in the U.S.A. had the disconcerting experience of
>watching the leader of our nation and the controler of a
>huge nuclear arsenel devolve into greater and greater senile
>dementia while in office...

While the other main nuclear arsenal of the planet was in the
paralyzed hands of Brezhnev, Andropov and Chernenko.

>and having the administration blithely deny that there was any problem.

I slept better during the Reagan years than the next four ones with
Quayle a heartbeat away from the presidency. Just imagine _him_
defending the Free World against Saddam H. or the future Communist-
Nazi regime of Russia.

For the pure in heart: http://www.uta.fi/~trhiha

Len Berlind

unread,
Nov 12, 1994, 5:48:19 AM11/12/94
to
Harry Kaplan wrote:

: >Also, communist nazis seem a bit far-fetched. Kind of like Jewish Nazis,


: >or gay Nazis, or something like that.

: Gay nazis are not that far-fetched. Obviously, you've never been to a
: Judas Priest concert.

Even more obviously he knows zilch about the Nazis.

Cindy Kandolf

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 11:23:32 AM11/11/94
to
YuNoHoo writes:
>: But "Minta garpu dan sudu" isn't Latin. It's Malaysian.
>
>Don't think that'll make the sweet girl in the bookshop less confused.
>(Another thing is that she somehow connects my person with any weird
>and confusing request she gets...)

I can't imagine why.

(I'm not touching _that_ straight line. It's too defenseless.)

-Cindy Kandolf, certified language mechanic, mamma flodnak
ci...@nvg.unit.no
Trondheim, Norway
Oportet Ministros Manus Lavare Antequam Latrinam Relinquent!

Richard A. Schumacher

unread,
Nov 11, 1994, 10:46:09 PM11/11/94
to
ObUL: It's a fabrication designed to get Garrison Keillor to discontinue the
deadly accurate Reagan parodies on "A Praire Home Companion".


Richard "neurofibrillary tangles 'R' us" Xumajer

David DeLaney

unread,
Nov 12, 1994, 4:41:08 PM11/12/94
to
hka...@panix.com (Harry "Rayder" Kaplan) writes:

|b...@eden.rutgers.edu (Joseph Bay) writes:
|>Also, communist nazis seem a bit far-fetched. Kind of like Jewish Nazis,
|>or gay Nazis, or something like that.
|
|Gay nazis are not that far-fetched. Obviously, you've never been to a
|Judas Priest concert.

Or seen a Tom of Finland print.

ObUL: Tom couldn't draw proper feet, toes, or heels to save his life...

|Rayder "Licking the boots of a different crowd these days" Kaplan

Dave "Jewish Nazis I'd have a bit of trouble picturing myself, though" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney d...@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. Disclaimer: IMHO; VRbeableWIKTHLC
http://enigma.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ / New ExploTab protection!!1!

Eric P Kimbel

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Nov 12, 1994, 9:41:43 PM11/12/94
to
In article <3a1dq1$q...@starman.convex.com>,

Richard A. Schumacher <schu...@convex.com> wrote:
>ObUL: It's a fabrication designed to get Garrison Keillor to discontinue the
> deadly accurate Reagan parodies on "A Praire Home Companion".
>
>

Richard,
Watch out for those Republican tangles.
They often *catch* you when you're not looking.

Eric "prarie, maybe just prarie, could teach us something" Kimbel


Craig Dickson

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Nov 13, 1994, 3:49:02 AM11/13/94
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David DeLaney writes:

|Dave "Jewish Nazis I'd have a bit of trouble picturing myself, though" DeLaney

There are some folks in the West Bank who might be inclined to disagree.
--
Craig Dickson <c...@crl.com>
alt.usenet.kooks archives on the Web: ftp://ftp.crl.com/users/ro/cd/auk.html
To receive the a.u.k FAQ, send me email with Subject: send alt.usenet.kooks FAQ

Douglas Holtsinger

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Nov 12, 1994, 1:59:33 PM11/12/94
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In article <39rhcs$f...@spitfire.navo.navy.mil>,
Martin H. Booda <bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil> wrote:

> Yeah, I thought this was vindictive at first; and then I remembered that ol'
> RR was responsible for delaying fetal tissue research into possible cures for
> degenerative brain diseases such as Alzheimer's for eight years.

This is not true. The Reagan and Bush administrations supported
federal funding of fetal tissue research programs that used the
tissue from spontaneously aborted babies. They did not support
funding of programs that used the tissue from elective abortions
because it was thought that such support would encourage abortion.

R. Patrick Dockrey

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Nov 13, 1994, 4:30:58 PM11/13/94
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Hiski Haapoja (trh...@uta.fi) wrote:

: I slept better during the Reagan years than the next four ones with


: Quayle a heartbeat away from the presidency. Just imagine _him_
: defending the Free World against Saddam H. or the future Communist-
: Nazi regime of Russia.

Oh, yes. Communist-Nazi regime?!?! PLEASE tell me you're trolling. I
mean, I hate to break this to you...but the communists were on OUR side
against the Nazis. Not to mention the fact that the Nazis were VERY
capatilistic, though they did pose as a socialistic movement early on to
gain support from the workers.
I have met enither Ronald Reagan or Dan Quayle, but I have seen enough of
both to know that I would rather have old Danny boy in the Oval Office
than Reagan ANY day.
Speaker For The Dead
________
| SPQR |
~~~~~~~~

Myrddhin Emrys

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Nov 13, 1994, 9:17:42 PM11/13/94
to
In article <CINDY.94N...@bokfink.nvg.unit.no>,

Cindy Kandolf <ci...@nvg.unit.no> wrote:
>
>I mean, no one has ever accused me of wishing Ronald Reagan
>particularly well, but i wouldn't wish Alzheimer's on anybody.

Call for Mr. Finerty! Paging Mr. Finerty!


--
Mitch Gorman
msghouse!em...@twwells.com

IHNJH, IJLS "Annual Punkin Hunt"

han...@quantime.co.uk

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Nov 14, 1994, 3:51:49 AM11/14/94
to
(quoted stuff deleted to make room for...)

>
>I admit, since Ronnie's announcement, I have been somewhat perplexed. I had
>always thought that Alzheimer's could only be positively diagnosed post-mortem,
>by taking brain samples. How do they know it's not just run-of-the-mill
>forgetfulness/senility or whatever?
>
> -Josh "I wonder if he's the first?" Munn

Well, who says it _wasn't_ diagnosed post-mortem? You seen him
lately?

Chris "Voted once for a Republican and regretted it later" Hansen

Chris Hansen han...@quantime.co.uk |"Reality is that which, |
Expatriate U.S. Programmer |when you stop believing |
in London |in it, doesn't go away."|
|Philip K. Dick |

Charles Phillip Kalina

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Nov 14, 1994, 10:41:51 PM11/14/94
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In article <3a8k2e...@kielo.uta.fi>, Hiski Haapoja <trh...@uta.fi> wrote:
>Some gay Nazis for you: Ernst Roehm, chief of the SA, liquidated on Hitler's
>orders. Michael Kuehnen, the Neonazi chief who died of AIDS. Ewald Althans,
>subject of the notorious Beruf Neonazi documentary. I don't know of any
>Jewish Nazis -the goyness of prospective party members was investigated-
>but many in the lower ranks were former Commies, from the same social
>circles.


There was an American neonazi leader named John (I think) Coon,
who led a splinter group from the American Nazi party whose name escapes
me at the moment. It turned out his real last name was "Cohen" and he
was, in fact, of Jewish extraction.
--
Charles P. Kalina, Political Genius and Policy Maven
"It is the mission of neoconservatism to explain to the American people
why they are right and to the intellectuals why they are wrong."
-Irving Kristol

Kim Scheinberg

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Nov 15, 1994, 5:14:14 AM11/15/94
to
The previous ukase was brought to you by trh...@uta.fi (Hiski Haapoja)

>Joseph Bay <b...@eden.rutgers.edu> wrote:
>
>>Also, communist nazis seem a bit far-fetched. Kind of like Jewish Nazis,
>>or gay Nazis, or something like that.
>
>Some gay Nazis for you: Ernst Roehm, chief of the SA, liquidated on Hitler's
>orders. Michael Kuehnen, the Neonazi chief who died of AIDS. Ewald Althans,
>subject of the notorious Beruf Neonazi documentary. I don't know of any
>Jewish Nazis -the goyness of prospective party members was investigated-
>but many in the lower ranks were former Commies, from the same social
>circles.

As for Jewish nazis, hasn't anyone mentioned Daniel Burros?

kim "'The Kingdom and the Power' was a prereq for employment" scheinberg

M.V.Chang

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Nov 15, 1994, 12:54:59 PM11/15/94
to
On Fri, 11 Nov 1994, Jack Campin wrote:
>
> Something like a combination of retinitis pigmentosa, motor neurone
> disease, and schizophrenia with guilt obsessions would be _much_ more
> fitting. Leave the bastard to rot in darkness and silence, unable to
> move, with the sounds of a Salvadorean torture cell or Angolan massacre
> screaming inside his head for years on end.

Jack,
So what concrete proof have you or anyone else that Salvadorean
torture cells and Angolan massacres are his fault? Or that he could have
done something about it , that the American Public would let him do
something or Congress or the Democrats and what not etc, etc. I'm not
claiming that he tried anything positive in these respects but if you
got facts that I'll like to hear, go ahead and flame.
MVC
af7...@humus.hull.ac.uk

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