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Johnny Carson passes

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R H Draney

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Jan 23, 2005, 10:41:42 PM1/23/05
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Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r

Bob Ward

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Jan 24, 2005, 12:48:55 AM1/24/05
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On 23 Jan 2005 19:41:42 -0800, R H Draney <dado...@spamcop.net>
wrote:

>Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
>Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r


"Why, Ed, I didn't know you were Jewish!"


Dr H

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Jan 24, 2005, 6:22:46 PM1/24/05
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On Sun, 23 Jan 2005, R H Draney vociferated:

}Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
}Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r
}
}

Carson's dead? Damn.

I suppose now they'll have to get somebody else to take over the Tonight Show.

Dr H

R H Draney

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Jan 24, 2005, 10:38:30 PM1/24/05
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Dr H filted:

Conan is all set for that...in 2009....

R H "to crush his enemies, see them driven before him, and to hear the
lamentations of the women" Draney

Kerro

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Jan 25, 2005, 10:57:48 PM1/25/05
to

"R H Draney" <dado...@spamcop.net> wrote in message news:ct1qp...@drn.newsguy.com...

> Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
> Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r

I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but I always thought
Johnny Carson was hugely overrated. He always struck me as
a nervy, lightweight little man. I think his reputation was based
almost purely on Spin, rather than any talent whatsoever.

Kerro <I apologize to any Johnny Carson fans...>

ocon...@slr.orl.lmco.com

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Jan 25, 2005, 8:58:47 AM1/25/05
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Kerro wrote:
> "R H Draney" <dado...@spamcop.net> wrote in message
news:ct1qp...@drn.newsguy.com...
> > Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper
shortage, the cat in
> > Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering
putters....r
>
> I don't want to speak ill of the dead,

But ya will anyway.

> but I always thought Johnny Carson was hugely overrated.

TV history is full of folks that did something notably well
FIRST. A critical look back will reveal how raw and simple
the work was. But at the time it was all there was. Johnny
falls into this category. No one else at the time did it as
well as he did for as long as he did.


> He always struck me as
> a nervy, lightweight little man. I think his reputation was based
> almost purely on Spin, rather than any talent whatsoever.

Hindsight tends to improve things. Don't really think that is
spin. Don't let all of the current fawning get in the way of the
cold hard realities. He did it for 30 years, and no one ever really
"beat" him at his game. The number of comedians who can trace
their careers to him is huge, and crosses alot of different styles.
I think some of the tributes have started to wander a bit far from
the reality, but the reality is impressive enough. And as someone
said, you'll probably never see the likes of him again. Because
of the changing nature of the medium, it's probably true.

R H Draney

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Jan 25, 2005, 9:53:55 AM1/25/05
to
Kerro filted:

>
>I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but I always thought
>Johnny Carson was hugely overrated. He always struck me as
>a nervy, lightweight little man. I think his reputation was based
>almost purely on Spin, rather than any talent whatsoever.

But stand him next to Regis Philbin and he looks like Michelangelo's Moses....r

Dr H

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Jan 25, 2005, 3:50:38 PM1/25/05
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On Mon, 24 Jan 2005, R H Draney vociferated:

Hmm... I never thought of him as "Carson, the Barbarian," but now
that you mention it...

Dr H

Kerro

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Jan 26, 2005, 6:45:49 PM1/26/05
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"R H Draney" <dado...@spamcop.net> wrote in message news:ct5mi...@drn.newsguy.com...

Just on a slightly related note; there was an article in one of the
local papers about Michelangelo's 'David' being, well... slightly
*under-endowed* in that area of physiognomy that is important
to many of us. The writer speculated that David was, in fact,
scared to death about his impending stoush with Goliath, and
that was causing the "shrinkage" that millions of people have
noticed over the years.

Kerro.


R H Draney

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Jan 26, 2005, 9:48:30 AM1/26/05
to
Kerro filted:

>
>Just on a slightly related note; there was an article in one of the
>local papers about Michelangelo's 'David' being, well... slightly
>*under-endowed* in that area of physiognomy that is important
>to many of us. The writer speculated that David was, in fact,
>scared to death about his impending stoush with Goliath, and
>that was causing the "shrinkage" that millions of people have
>noticed over the years.

I assume they covered the bit about the statue being uncircumcised, which the
real David would most certainly not have been?...and maybe about the feet being
slightly *over*sized allowing the statue to stand on its own?...

R H "True Fact: marble shrinks in cold water" Draney

Burroughs Guy

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Jan 26, 2005, 12:54:15 PM1/26/05
to
Dr H wrote:

> Carson's dead? Damn.

How dead is he?

--
Burroughs "Waited 25 years to use that line" Guy
Vaguer memories available upon request


Hatunen

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Jan 26, 2005, 4:56:27 PM1/26/05
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On Wed, 26 Jan 2005 12:54:15 -0500 (EST), "Burroughs Guy"
<BurroughsG...@aol.com.invalid> wrote:

>Dr H wrote:
>
>> Carson's dead? Damn.
>
>How dead is he?

Francisco Franco is still dead.

************* DAVE HATUNEN (hat...@cox.net) *************
* Tucson Arizona, out where the cacti grow *
* My typos & mispellings are intentional copyright traps *

Jackie Laderoute

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Jan 26, 2005, 6:01:14 PM1/26/05
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On 26 Jan 2005 06:48:30 -0800, R H Draney <dado...@spamcop.net>
wrote:

Having been in Firenze in November, I can confirm that he is
uncircumcized.[1] I must also state that he didn't strike me as
underendowed, especially for an unaroused state (knowing that the
flaccid state is no predictor of the erect size[2]).

As for the feet, they didn't strike me quite as much as the hands,
which seem all out of proportion to the statue. Of course, they may
have been made that way to balance the feet.

Jackie "stunning statue. Nice butt, too" Laderoute

[1] I would have been able to infer as much without even seeing the
statue - the body part in question is ominpresent in the city. David's
penis adorns a number of tourist items (my favourite being the boxer
shorts which effectively cover one's private parts with those of the
statue). It is a city where masterpieces vie with kitsch at every
turn.

[2] *Not* empirically.

--
< o \"/ Don't play cat and mouse with me! (
---@ ) ()-()
< o /"\ Jackie Laderoute jflad...@shaw.ca (o o)
*****************************************************************/\o/\

Burroughs Guy

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Jan 26, 2005, 8:43:28 PM1/26/05
to
Hatunen wrote:

> >> Carson's dead? Damn.
> >
> >How dead is he?
>
> Francisco Franco is still dead.

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
--
Burroughs Guy

Charles Wm. Dimmick

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Jan 27, 2005, 3:03:36 PM1/27/05
to
Kerro wrote:

As was repeated almost ad nauseum in the various Carson testimonials
which have appeared since his death, his high rating was due
mostly to being one of the best straight men of all time. His
deadpan face after someone made a potentially humorous comment
was perhaps better than that of the late great Jack Benny.

Charles

Hatunen

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Jan 27, 2005, 5:19:46 PM1/27/05
to

He also had the talent to make even a bad joke that flopped
hilarious by his attempts to explain it away.

Anyone who thinks Carson was underrated simply was taken in by
Carson's ability to make it seem easy

Kerro

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Jan 28, 2005, 12:57:46 PM1/28/05
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"Hatunen" <hatu...@cox.net> wrote in message news:e3qiv016saok3g4q3...@4ax.com...

> On Thu, 27 Jan 2005 20:03:36 GMT, "Charles Wm. Dimmick"
> <cdim...@snet.net> wrote:
>
> >Kerro wrote:
> >
> >> "R H Draney" <dado...@spamcop.net> wrote in message news:ct1qp...@drn.newsguy.com...
> >>
> >>>Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
> >>>Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r
> >>
> >>
> >> I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but I always thought
> >> Johnny Carson was hugely overrated. He always struck me as
> >> a nervy, lightweight little man. I think his reputation was based
> >> almost purely on Spin, rather than any talent whatsoever.
> >
> >As was repeated almost ad nauseum in the various Carson testimonials
> >which have appeared since his death, his high rating was due
> >mostly to being one of the best straight men of all time. His
> >deadpan face after someone made a potentially humorous comment
> >was perhaps better than that of the late great Jack Benny.
>
> He also had the talent to make even a bad joke that flopped
> hilarious by his attempts to explain it away.
>
> Anyone who thinks Carson was underrated simply was taken in by
> Carson's ability to make it seem easy

Well, I guess I was just "taken in" then, Mr H. I think Dave Letterman
is a hundred times better than Carson ever was.

Kerro.


Hatunen

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Jan 27, 2005, 7:17:27 PM1/27/05
to

To each his own. But I'm not addressing such preferences, I'm
addressing the statement "I think his reputation was based
almost purely on Spin, rather than any talent whatsoever", which
is rather a different thing than simply preferring Letterman.

Kerro

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Jan 28, 2005, 5:45:51 PM1/28/05
to

"Hatunen" <hatu...@cox.net> wrote in message news:mv0jv0ds6ug161r38...@4ax.com...

Fair enough, wise old owl. Interestingly enough; a decade or so ago,
there was an Aussie copycat LateNite host named Steve Vizard
who was actually better than either of those two.

Although I like Letterman well enough, his "joke" writers should all
be retrenched - no questions asked..

Kerro.


R H Draney

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Jan 27, 2005, 11:11:16 PM1/27/05
to
Kerro filted:

>
>Although I like Letterman well enough, his "joke" writers should all
>be retrenched - no questions asked..

One I wrote for him about a decade or so ago, but never got around to sending
in:

"You know how sometimes you catch yourself dozing off in front of the TV late at
night?...I'm not sure if I really saw this or if I just dreamed it...is there a
commercial where the Jolly Green Giant bites the head off the Pillsbury
Doughboy?"

R H "coming up later, we're going to throw Rupert Jee off the roof" Draney

JLB

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Jan 28, 2005, 4:23:40 PM1/28/05
to
R H Draney wrote:
> Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
> Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r
>
Carson did not have a high profile in the UK. However, I was interested
to see that he was a big supporter and close friend of James Randi.

http://www.randi.org/jr/carson.html

--
Joe * If I cannot be free I'll be cheap

Hatunen

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Jan 28, 2005, 5:55:19 PM1/28/05
to
On Fri, 28 Jan 2005 21:23:40 +0000, JLB <J...@bigbad.demon.co.uk>
wrote:

>R H Draney wrote:
>> Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
>> Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r
>>
>Carson did not have a high profile in the UK. However, I was interested
>to see that he was a big supporter and close friend of James Randi.
>
>http://www.randi.org/jr/carson.html

Carson started his showbiz career as a magician while a teenager.

When Carson had Uri Geller on his show he used Randi as a
consultant and Randi told him the smple things to do so that
Geller's "magic" woudn't work; the tape of it is pretty humorous
with Geller getting more and more uncomfortable when he can't get
away with his deceptions .

Ray Heindl

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Jan 28, 2005, 5:19:45 PM1/28/05
to
JLB <J...@bigbad.demon.co.uk> wrote:

> R H Draney wrote:
>> Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper
>> shortage, the cat in Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card
>> number, and fluttering putters....r
>>
> Carson did not have a high profile in the UK. However, I was
> interested to see that he was a big supporter and close friend of
> James Randi.
>
> http://www.randi.org/jr/carson.html

Carson was an amateur magicion, which is probably how he became
associated with Randi. I loved the show where Carson surprised Uri
Geller by asking him to pick out which film cans contained water.

--
Ray Heindl
(remove the Xs to reply)

D.F. Manno

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Jan 28, 2005, 5:32:26 PM1/28/05
to
In article <MBiKd.6506$i6.5...@nasal.pacific.net.au>,
"Kerro" <ke...@pacific.net.au> wrote:

> Although I like Letterman well enough, his "joke" writers should all
> be retrenched - no questions asked..

Well, one of them just died.
--
D.F. Manno
dfm2a...@spymac.com
"The country we carry in our hearts is waiting."

Lon

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Jan 28, 2005, 9:38:13 PM1/28/05
to
Kerro proclaimed:

It isn't that I'm not a Letterman fan, although I prefer South Park,
but sniggeringly stupid freshman humor gets old after the first few
minutes. Granted there are some who consider driving any schtick
into the ground and then into subduction some sort of humorous. I've
almost peed my pants during Saturday Night Live and the Carson era
Tonight Show, but not even the hint of moisture during the inevitable
channel change off Letterman.


Lon

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Jan 28, 2005, 9:33:17 PM1/28/05
to
Kerro proclaimed:

*You* try standing lightly clad on a cold marble column and see
whether or not you make any elephants jealous.

Burroughs Guy

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Jan 29, 2005, 12:38:25 AM1/29/05
to
Hatunen wrote:

> >http://www.randi.org/jr/carson.html
>
> Carson started his showbiz career as a magician while a teenager.
>
> When Carson had Uri Geller on his show he used Randi as a
> consultant and Randi told him the smple things to do so that
> Geller's "magic" woudn't work; the tape of it is pretty humorous
> with Geller getting more and more uncomfortable when he can't get
> away with his deceptions .

As I recall that story (and I must have details wrong), Orson Welles
was on Johnny Carson's show one day, and Uri Geller came up. Welles
used his usual line about Geller: "When I did those tricks, I called
myself a magician." After the show, they were discussing Uri Geller
again, and that he deserved his comeuppance. Welles then introduced
Carson to the Amazing Randi, who set up the on air prank on Geller.

Carson explained afterward that no magician would ever spoil another
magician's act, but Geller claimed he wasn't a magician, so he was
fair game.

Phil Edwards

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Jan 31, 2005, 9:29:02 AM1/31/05
to
On 23 Jan 2005 19:41:42 -0800, in alt.folklore.urban R H Draney
<dado...@spamcop.net> wrote:

>Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
>Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r

According to that authoritative source This Web Page I Saw Once, there
was one very Zsa Zsa-like exchange between Carson and Raquel Welch:

Raquel Welch: It's very reassuring in a way to know that all these
fans are so interested in film personalities that they would like to
come, you know, and even just look at your house and your shrubs,
it[sic] sometimes it's rather embarrassing.

Johnny: I'd love to see your shrubs.

In its favour, I'd count the way the wording isn't quite perfect[1]
and the fact that nobody else seems to remember it. Against, I'd count
the fact that absolutely *nobody* else seems to remember it.

P "still seems to remember Raquel Welch" E
[1] Let's just say 'shrubs' isn't the best possible word for the joke.
On the other hand, there's something rather lovely about Carson's
double-entendre coming straight after the words "it's rather
embarrassing" - as if to say, 'you think *that*'s embarrassing?'
--
Phil Edwards http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/amroth/
"Thanks. I always wanted to know how to type a strangely elongated pi."
- Alice Faber finds enlightenment
The AFU and Urban Legends Archive is at http://www.tafkac.org

R H Draney

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Jan 31, 2005, 2:06:36 PM1/31/05
to
Phil Edwards filted:

>
>On 23 Jan 2005 19:41:42 -0800, in alt.folklore.urban R H Draney
><dado...@spamcop.net> wrote:
>
>>Be on the lookout for fresh retellings of the toilet-paper shortage, the cat in
>>Zsa Zsa's lap, Burt Reynolds' credit card number, and fluttering putters....r
>
>According to that authoritative source This Web Page I Saw Once, there
>was one very Zsa Zsa-like exchange between Carson and Raquel Welch:
>
>Raquel Welch: It's very reassuring in a way to know that all these
>fans are so interested in film personalities that they would like to
>come, you know, and even just look at your house and your shrubs,
>it[sic] sometimes it's rather embarrassing.
>
>Johnny: I'd love to see your shrubs.

And then there's one I *did* actually see:

Johnny, about to bring up the guest's start in show business: "How old were you
when...?"

Lucille Ball, interrupting and suddenly infuriated: "How *OLD* am I?!"

(a minute or two of utter hilarity from the audience while all hands try to
quiet Lucy down...then, finally, the closer:)

Johnny: "What I started to ask you was--how old *WERE* you when you lost your
virginity?"

R H "I love my cigar too" Draney

Dr H

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Feb 1, 2005, 6:41:19 PM2/1/05
to

On Fri, 28 Jan 2005, Kerro vociferated:

BoR.

Dr H

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