[I] [AFPanto] Part II, Meet Jack...
Aquarion
It's tubular, yellow, and suspiciously *exactly* the same as
you'd expect a submarine to look like.
You can even see the brilliant blue eye of Captain Daniel
Angerous as he scans the horizon for signs of the Evil
Depth-Star. Little does he realise that the Depth-Star has
already seen him, and a Photo torpedo is at this moment
heading on a collision course with the innocent Yellow
Submarine. Angerous spots the approaching attackers far to late
to do anything about them, and for the minutes he has left, he
regrets ever having heard of - let alone becoming a part of the
Navy of - the Land of Submarines. Any second the Photo torpedos
will hit.
There is a flash.
In the town where Dan was born lived a boy who hated the sea,
and his friends all left the town for the land of Submarines.
And he lived a life of ease, in a small cottage overlooking
acres of farmland. Which, as far as the eye could see, belonged
to people who weren't him.
Jack - for this is the person who is doing the gazing - is a
reasonably tall, unreasonably handsome, irritatingly visually
perfect male person. And he is currently bewailing his lot in
life.
"Fah (He says, for this is what people in fiction do) I don't
belive my mum. I mean, not giving me my pocket money! What sort
of mother does she think she is, anyway? "We don't have any
money" she says, like that's some kind of excuse. Any *real*
mother would have sold her soul to make sure I'm happy. I *have*
to have my pocket money, my Playstation II needs a new memory
card, and Christmas is coming! If she can't afford to give me my
pocket money, how's she going to buy me presents? I'm doomed! I
had to go shopping the other day. I mean, *me*. *She*'s supposed
to be the one who does the shopping and stuff, my job is to make
sure the house is safe. I went into the fishmongers, and they
only had fish that had built in harmonicas. I said, I told 'em
straight, "I've had Tuna fish four nights running already". And
it's not as if it's my *fault* we haven't any money, I had a job
once. It wasn't my fault I had to leave because of illness.
Well, the boss getting sick of me, anyway."
At this moment, his mother, whose name, incidentally, is Melody,
came back home.
"That's it." Melody said "We're finished."
"How?!"
"Because I met a friendly policeman, who rapidly became an
unfriendly policemen when he found out whose cow this was.
Apparently you owe the government £800 in tickets for going up a
one way street!"
"I was only going one way!" pleaded Jack
"Yes, and it was the wrong one. Didn't you see the arrows?"
"I didn't even see the flaming Indians! And it wasn't a fair
cop"
"Why not?"
"Well, he said 'Blow into this little bag', so I did, and I
registered fine. Then he said 'Blow into this *other* bag', so I
asked him 'Why?', and he said "Cos my chips are hot"
"Well, whatever. We haven't any money left, I spent the last of
the money that we had in the world getting you out of trouble.
We have no food, no electricity, and no phone line. There is
nothing left to sell apart from..."
"From what?"
"Hilda"
"We can't sell the cow! How will we get to market?"
"What will we buy things with if we could? The alternative is to
start by selling your Playstation..."
"I'll sell it right away" decided Jack, and drove the bovine to the
nearest Used Cow Lot.
[To Be Continued]
Yours in total sincerity
Aquarion
MP
wrote:
<snip>
> "Well, he said 'Blow into this little bag', so I did, and I
> registered fine. Then he said 'Blow into this *other* bag', so I
> asked him 'Why?', and he said "Cos my chips are hot"
<snip>
Oh dearie me... :-}
You know something? I'm worried now... :-}
MP (who was, erm, <substitute adjective here> to volunteer too...)
Simon Waldman
> You can even see the brilliant blue eye of Captain Daniel
> Angerous as he scans the horizon for signs of the Evil
> Depth-Star. Little does he realise that the Depth-Star has
> already seen him, and a Photo torpedo is at this moment
> heading on a collision course with the innocent Yellow
> Submarine.
IT'S BEHIND YOU!
--
"I ordered a bacon sandwich an hour ago and it still hasn't arrived.
What are they doing, slaughtering the cow?" -Presenter on Sun FM, Jan 2001
---------------------------------------------------------------
Simon Waldman, England email: swal...@firecloud.org.uk
http://www.firecloud.org.uk/simon
---------------------------------------------------------------
Suzi
alt.fan.pratchett, Aquarion <use...@aquarionics.com> wibbled...
[Snip]
> In the town where Dan was born lived a boy who hated the sea,
> and his friends all left the town for the land of Submarines.
> And he lived a life of ease, in a small cottage overlooking
> acres of farmland. Which, as far as the eye could see, belonged
> to people who weren't him.
[Snip]
Can someone please reassure me that I wasn't the only one who started
trying to fit that to "yellow submarine" (and only realised it didn't
scan when I got to "hated the")
Suzi
Simon Waldman
> Can someone please reassure me that I wasn't the only one who started
> trying to fit that to "yellow submarine" (and only realised it didn't
> scan when I got to "hated the")
I assumed that that was the idea...
--
"Music is the space between the notes." -- C. Debussy
"Lighting Design is the space between the photons." -- Benjamin Hay
Aquarion
Well done :-)
And it does scan, mostly, right up until the "small cottage" :-)
CCA
(snip beginning of AFPanto story)
Are you planning on publishing this when it's finished? It looks like being
bloody good so far.
CCA:)
Maaike
'hated the' isn't too hard to squeeze in, though; you just have to
break the note in half. It's once you pass the small cottage that it
all falls to pieces.
-Maaike
Aquarion
It's being archived at aquarionics.com/afp/afpanto/ bit by bit.
Yours in total sincerity
Aquarion, Who must get back to doing Part 5
Aquarion
Indeed. They haven't broken out into song
Yours in total sincerity
Aquarion
(Yet)