[I] [AFPanto] Part VI, the plot actually gets moving...
Aquarion
mile high beanstalk would be kinda an understatement.
To say he was totally, completely, and utterly shagged out
from the climb would be a major piece of misjudgement.
Jack is, as you may have realised by now, not of the brightest
of stock. He is sitting at the top of this beanstalk, on a cloud
bewailing his lot, and wondering why in the name of anything he
didn't bring with him some kind of food. He is hungry. He has
been climbing the best part of the day.
The brighter of our readers will remember that Jack was, in
fact, climbing a /bean/stalk, and therefore had *a* method of
sustanance at hand for most of the journey. This appears to
have failed to occur to our hero. As previously aforementioned
he is somewhat lacking in wit.
It is for this reason also that he doesn't notice anything
strange about the figure that has appeared before him.
Infrequently do people encounter four foot tall beings, let
alone ones in pin-striped suits and sporting large pairs of
wings, and so his first question is nothing along the lines of
"What the hell?" but more upon the general theme of...
"Oi, mate, do you have any food I could have?"
"Si." said the small person, handing Jack a slice of pizza.
Jack ate the slice. It appeared to be Banana and Marmite flavour,
but wasn't all that bad for all this.
At this point we remind our readers that both Jack and Elfin - the
person you are about to meet - are trained storyfolk, and on no
account should you try this at home.
Unless you are really, really stupid.
"Who are you?"
"I am a magical being blessed with many friends" said the small man.
"Sorry?"
"I am the Fairy Godfather" said the man with the wings and the pin-
striped suit. "Who the hell did you think I was?"
"Well? I wasn't supposed to know, was I?"
"Many years ago, I did your father a favour, and the time has come to
return it."
"You knew my father?"
"Yes. Many years ago. He was a kind and generous man, every week he
would hold a party for the poor of the village, and make sure they
remained fed. But one week, an Evil Giant moved into town with his
wife, and had it passed around the village that he had lost all he
owned in a fire some years ago, and was destitute.
Your father, Jack, being a kind and generous soul, allowed the Giant
and his wife a roof over their heads for as long as they needed, and
the giant - with all the mock gratitude he could muster - accepted.
Within two weeks, the giant had his plan calculated, and the next day
he got the chance to put it into action. A cart had overturned down the
road, and all hands were needed to rescue the contents before they
soiled. Your father left the house - your mother was away staying with
relatives with you at the time - and went to assist.
Meanwhile the giant barricaded the doors and windows, and collected what
he could of your father's remaining riches. When your father got back,
the giant refused him entry. When your father continued to attack the
door of the house, the giant killed him with a tremendous blow to the
skull.
When your mother returned, the house was burnt to the ground, all
possessions looted. She had no choice but to come to me, who told her
all that had happened. I negotiated a truce with the Giant, to say that
he would not, as he desired, come and find - and kill - you, on the sole
condition that you, Jack, were never to know your father's past.
I have looked after your mother and you for many years, shielding you
from the giant's evil desires. Now the time has come for you to return
the favour"
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because the giant has stolen something from the fairy kingdom, and you
have been chosen to get it back"
"Why me?"
"You owe us a favour?"
"What has been stolen?"
"The hat that writes the golden books".
Aquarion
> To say that jack was tired when he reached the top of the
> mile high beanstalk would be kinda an understatement.
Not sure that anybody is going to care in the slightest,
but there will be no pantomime today.
I might even get as far as plotting the rest of the story :)
Yours in total sincerity
Aquarion.
Pantomimes die when the audience isn't listening.
Speaker-to-Customers
"Aquarion" wrote ...
> Not sure that anybody is going to care in the slightest,
> but there will be no pantomime today.
>
> I might even get as far as plotting the rest of the story :)
>
>
> Yours in total sincerity
> Aquarion.
> Pantomimes die when the audience isn't listening.
Oh no they don't!
"When the moon is in the seventh house,
And Jupiter aligns with Mars,
A man will write a pantomime,
In which an Afper stars.
This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarion,
The age of Aquarion,
A-quar-i-onnn...."
But watch out for the scorpion pit.
It's behind you.
Paul Speaker-to-Customers
--
"Bother!" said Pooh. "Living under the name of Sanders has its
disadvantages when I want to cash my Giro cheque."
(after Dragon Prince)
Julia Jones
<use...@aquarionics.com> writes
> Pantomimes die when the audience isn't listening.
Oh no they don't!
--
Julia Jones
Redemption 03, 21-23 February 2003, Ashford, Kent
Celebrating 25 years of Blake's 7 and 10 years of Babylon 5
http://www.smof.com/redemption
John Leith
wrote:
> Not sure that anybody is going to care in the slightest,
> but there will be no pantomime today.
I care!
> I might even get as far as plotting the rest of the story :)
Ah! Good oh, carry on.
>Yours in total sincerity
> Aquarion.
> Pantomimes die when the audience isn't listening.
Sorry, what you are taking as a deafening silence is actually rapt
attention.
All the best
John Leith
--
nos...@birdy.dircon.co.uk - That is really my e-mail address.
AFP Code 1.1a AC$ d+ s:+ a UP++ R+ F++ h+ P5+ OS--: C++++ M- pp--- L+ c
B+ Cn PT++ Pu40- 5++ !X MT+ eV+>+++ r++++ y+++
http://www.appiehouse.co.uk
Andrew Irish
Who isn't listening?
I've been following it. My news feed was down so I was using your web
page.
BTW, I'm gonerrea, an ogre and Jack the Ripper in comparison to your Mr
Rabies, Knight and Charles Manson. I'll try some of the others, too.
--
Andrew <agi...@ecs.soton.ac.uk, a_i...@yahoo.com>
Corinne Pritchard
news:Pine.LNX.4.21.01120...@ugnode2.ecs.soton.ac.uk...
>
> BTW, I'm gonerrea, an ogre and Jack the Ripper in comparison to your Mr
> Rabies, Knight and Charles Manson. I'll try some of the others, too.
>
Phew, someone else is gonorrhea too! I'm so glad, I thought I was the only
one.
--
Corinne
Melody S-K
"Corinne Pritchard" <corinne....@worc.ox.ac.uk> wrote
in message news:9uq3go$a74ca$1...@ID-69734.news.dfncis.de...
> Phew, someone else is gonorrhea too! I'm so glad, I
thought I was the only
> one.
Nope ...me too :) oh ..and Mr White , Imelda Marcos , Birth
of Venus
and Auric Goldfinger . I guess you just cannot win them all
:)
Melody
--
Hey, if you cut off your foot, you wouldn't keep putting it
in your mouth, but your body wouldn't be the same, would it?
Aquarion
> On Fri, 7 Dec 2001 00:47:08 +0000, Aquarion <use...@aquarionics.com>
> wrote:
>
>> Not sure that anybody is going to care in the slightest,
>> but there will be no pantomime today.
>
> I care!
Aha, Good. Someone does :)
>> I might even get as far as plotting the rest of the story :)
>
> Ah! Good oh, carry on.
*Might* involves tuits...
>>Yours in total sincerity
>> Aquarion.
>> Pantomimes die when the audience isn't listening.
>
> Sorry, what you are taking as a deafening silence is actually rapt
> attention.
The problem with Usenet is that it is *impossible* to tell
Yours in total sincerity
Aquarion
--
In the last month(ish), AFP has had 22 FAQs, 277 Cascades,953 Meta-
Messages, 4123 Messages Irrelevant to Terry and 933 that aren't.
35 about Games, and 162 Annotations. Oh, and 193 Fandom messages.
That's 7143 total messages, (426 Messages untagged)
tenticle
says...
>
>
> "Corinne Pritchard" <corinne....@worc.ox.ac.uk> wrote
> in message news:9uq3go$a74ca$1...@ID-69734.news.dfncis.de...
>
> > Phew, someone else is gonorrhea too! I'm so glad, I
> thought I was the only
> > one.
>
> Nope ...me too :) oh ..and Mr White , Imelda Marcos , Birth
> of Venus
> and Auric Goldfinger . I guess you just cannot win them all
> :)
>
ebola, a scragg, Legolas, Imeldo Marcos, Jaws, Mr. Pink, stuck on level
23 of that damn laser game... and dreading what he's have me doing whan
its my turn in the panto...
tent
--
Warning: Not for internal use.
Supermouse
> but there will be no pantomime today.
Oh yes we bloody well will!
Want panto!
I've been watching this with interest, and I want more...
Cordially,
--
Supermouse
Aquarion
Aquarion Usenet Industries, Doing Bad Things To Good People since 1996
MP
wrote:
<snip>
>>> Pantomimes die when the audience isn't listening.
>>
>> Sorry, what you are taking as a deafening silence is actually rapt
>> attention.
>
>The problem with Usenet is that it is *impossible* to tell
No it's not - rapt silence is when you can't see yourself hearing,
whilst deafening attention is when everyone is clamouring to hear you.
You just look out for the opposite signs when you are looking for the
other things.
MP (who is now very confused, but suggests a scene where Jack's mum
and a random other silly person sit down on a bench and end up scaring
off a terrifying monster after much wandering around asking the
audience where it is. This should take place whilst Jack needs a big
costume change, or whilst a major scene change is going on, eg, when
we need to go inside the giant's castle)
Tom Saul
news:slrna104cc...@sacrifice.bedlam.bogus...
<snip>
> Not sure that anybody is going to care in the slightest,
> but there will be no pantomime today.
Oh yes they will!
As for the next part......It's behind you!
> I might even get as far as plotting the rest of the story :)
Shhh! Stop posting and get plotting.
I'm not about to start speaking for anyone else, nor even contemplate
what any other afpers are thinking at this precise moment. <g>
However, speaking for all of me, I can certainly say I'm looking forward
to the next chapters.
Tom.
Aquarion
I'd really, *really* be so much happier if you hadn't said that.
Speculation bad, M'kay?
Stevie D
>> Phew, someone else is gonorrhea too! I'm so glad, I thought I was the only
>> one.
>
> Nope ...me too :) oh ..and Mr White , Imelda Marcos , Birth of Venus
> and Auric Goldfinger . I guess you just cannot win them all
> :)
Have I missed something?
--
Stevie D
\\\\\ ///// Bringing dating agencies to the
\\\\\\\__X__/////// common hedgehog since 2001 - "HedgeHugs"
___\\\\\\\'/ \'///////_____________________________________________
Dragon Prince
says...
>
> Paul Speaker-to-Customers
>
> --
> "Bother!" said Pooh. "Living under the name of Sanders has its
> disadvantages when I want to cash my Giro cheque."
> (after Dragon Prince)
So I just borrowed them of Skipweasel on URS so sue me.
making nno appologies to anna for the .sig I said there was worse
dp.
--
"Bother", said Pooh, as he hid Piglet's body with Tigger's
Speaker-to-Customers
"Dragon Prince" wrote ...
> "Speaker-to-Customers wrote ...
> > "Bother!" said Pooh. "Living under the name of Sanders has its
> > disadvantages when I want to cash my Giro cheque."
> > (after Dragon Prince)
>
>
> So I just borrowed them of Skipweasel on URS so sue me.
So should I credit Skipweasel or you?
Paul Speaker-to-Customers
--
"Bother!" said Pooh. "We've drawn Argentina, Sweden and Nigeria in the
first round." (after Dragon Prince, or possibly Skipweasel)
David McCoy
David
"Aquarion" <use...@aquarionics.com> wrote in message
news:slrna117h3...@sacrifice.bedlam.bogus...
Marco Villalta
> "When the moon is in the seventh house,
> And Jupiter aligns with Mars,
> A man will write a pantomime,
> In which an Afper stars.
> This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarion,
> The age of Aquarion,
> A-quar-i-onnn...."
I've been wanting to do some Aquarion-spoof of Aquarious, such as
this, for a long time now. I've never got any good ideas. Thank
you for this.
--
Marco Villalta
Danish graffiti from 1984:
"Fighting for peace is like fucking to become a virgin again!"
Collected by Torben Olsen