This Dave in History - June 30

[Donz5]

1982: Elevator Races, Part 2: Former champion Clara McAllister again
beats her competitors downstairs and up again.

1989: Dave in an advertising promo: "David Letterman's Amazing
Monkeys."

1994: In a spoof of Home Shopping Network, Dave sells "Dave and Paul
Collection Plates," giving out the office number of his head writer,
Rob Burnett.

1994: Dave invites Megan and Tim, a couple from Kansas City, in from
the storm, gives them towels to dry off, and offers them seats by the
spiral stairway, where they'll stay throughout the show.

1994: Hal Gurnee shows the Ed Sullivan Theatre thermometer at 60F
degrees.

1994: Dave shows a clip of Paul Shaffer in the movie "Speed" - riding
in a bus.

1994: Top Ten Ways CBS Will Be Different After Merging with QVC -
6. Fox executives will be able to call in and buy whatever sports CBS
has left.

1995: In a remote, Dave asks apartment dwellers, "What's the Coolest
Thing in Your Apartment?"

1995: Top Ten Astronaut Pick-Up Lines - 7. You know I'd really like to
get in your pants before the Russians.

1997: Tonight's Staff Talents Remote is titled "Everything Is Funnier
When Someone Gets Hurt."

1997: Tonight's coolest guest? Sword swallower Brad Byers.

1997: Tonight's guest bowler: Dick Weber.

1997: Top Ten Mike Tyson Excuses - 7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear,
it's hilarious!

[Brian Henke]

"1997: In addition to a sword swallower, tonight's guests include Will
Smith, who manages to get a four-letter word by the censors.

1997: Pro bowler Dick Weber sits in with the band all night long.

1997: In the spirit of "Faceoff", Dave and Paul swap faces.

1997: "Red Flag Rising-The Handover of Hong Kong" with Dan Rather.

1998: Second guest is Martha Anne Godwin, a 9-year-old Junior
Hollerin' Champ.

1998: "Charts and Graphs" hype: Mattel has "Sergeant Chartman";
McDonalds has a "Charts and Graphs" burger; there's a "Charts and
Graphs" soundtrack; and "Charts and Graphs" fans are lined up outside.
After the actual "Charts and Graphs" nit airs, the estimated "Charts and
Graphs" audience: one million.

1998: Dave give the web site address of the Late Show. Also, Top Ten
Founding Father Pickup Lines.

1998: In segment 5, we learn how to get a transcript of today's
"Oprah" show.

1999: Video clip of people lining up outside to play the Secret Word.
Today's word is "peripatetic" for 800 damn dollars, with sponsors
"Dave's U.S. Women's World Cup Soccer Team" ("hotter than a dancing
bobcat with its ass on fire" and "Soccer Moms? Soccer Mamas") and Larry
King ("he looks like an owl").

1999: Piedmont Bird Callers: (1) greater prairie chicken; (2)
rockhopper penguin; and (3) emperor goose. The first caller (Josh), who
is to attend the Peabody Conservatory, plays the drum roll for the Top
Ten list (Least Popular Movie Props For Sale on the Internet).

1999: Paul plays Dave over to the desk with the lovely 20th Century
Fox Theme. Also, "Wimbledon Fan of the Day" bit.

1999: Mesa vs. Butte: Rob Burnett reads the definitions; later, we
get a lovely graphic showing the difference(s) between the two.

2000: Paul and Dave would like to be the first to wish you and yours
a very happy Fourth of July weekend.

2000: Recurring bits: dog-bite clip, Dave's new sidekick clip, "Anna
Kournikova Play of the Day" (she jumps around). Anna's clip is aired twice.

2000: Dave says he's going to a gin & tonic party right after the
show. Later, he claims that gin hangovers are the worst.

2000: CBS Mailbag: (1) People explain what their names mean: Mike
Baker, Jack Farmer, and Rick Stillavirginattheageoffortythree; (2) Pat
Famer explains how to treat poison ivy in three steps; (3) Dave used to
have a theme restaurant: "Losers"; (4) Biff lights a firework with a
long fuse that blows up Dan Rather's head.

2000: A cab is pushed to save expensive gas. Also, Dave wins at
"Staffer/Not a Staffer: this time it's not a staffer, but a social
worker at Mt. Sinai Hospital.

2000: Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear at Your Family Barbeque -
5. 'And now cousin Dave will show us slides of his quintuple bypass.'"

2001-2002: weekend.

2003: rerun.

2004: Dave and Paul introduce Popeyes New Full Flavor Green Beans and
the Schick Quattro.

2004: Dave turns on the Hose Cam.

2004: "Has George W. Bush Been Drinking?" bit: we see Dubya trying to
stay steady while delivering a speech.

2004: CBS Mailbag: (1) Britney Spears will marry J-Lo; (2) Dave's
routine; (3) Clip from the 60s Spider-Man cartoon altered to see a LS
episode; (4) Paul performs the new National Anthem of Iraq.

2004: Top Ten Things Every New York City Tourist Needs To Know, read
by actual NYC tourists: 5. Apparently the new "Spider-Man 2" movie is
out on video already.

2004: Guests Ethan Hawke and Jon Heder.

2005: Stump the Band: (1) EJ Becker of Cleveland (WTAM news anchor) -
"Old Wabash"; (2) Eileen Hancy of Rexburg, Idaho - "Horace the Horse";
(3) Bob Stanhope of Brewster, New York - "I Wish My Daughter Was Ugly".
The band is stumped yet again.

2005: Dave says that Paul will host a benefit concert for Dave Clark 5
keyboardist Mike Smith on August 2.

2005: Inky gives away the ending of "War of the Worlds" in Spanish.

2005: Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear at a July Fourth Barbecue:
2. "My hot dog has a knuckle."

2005: Guests Jennifer Connelly and Eels. Alan's selling illegal
fireworks, too.

2006: A guy asks if the Doors will appear on tonight's show. We see a
photo of them on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1967.

2006: Dave launches a book club: the first book is Barry Bonds' "My
Head Is Too Big For This Cover."

2006: Kenny Rogers is the new star of The Phantom of the Opera,
apparently.

2006: Great Moments in Presidential Speeches: GWB: "Are you having
burritos for lunch?"

2006: Fun Facts: Among them, the longest yard ever measured was three
feet, two inches; the most commonly misspelled word in the English
language is "Toyotathon"; and Bill Gates has paid tens of millions of
dollars to have his childhood bullies tracked down and killed.

2006: Will It Float? item: a 50-pound bucket of chlorinated tablets.
It floats.

2006: Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Fireworks Display: 5. It's just a
couple of guys yelling, "Ka-boom!"

2006: Guests Tom Brokaw and Paul Simon (music).

2007: weekend.

2008-2009: rerun.

2010: "and now, sexy red-headed Russian spy...David Letterman."

2010: Alan's been spying.

2010: King Tut's penis is missing; same thing happened to Larry King.

2010: Joe Grossman walks on stage.

2010: CBS Special Announcement on the retirement of Larry King.

2010: Top Ten Reasons Larry King Is Retiring: 4. Lately, introduces
every guest as "The lovely Ms. Carol Channing."

2010: Guests Julianne Moore, astronaut Mike Massimino, and music from
The New Pornographers.

2011: Monologue: "It's the 70th anniversary of the first television
commercial. It was the first time we heard about the '4-hour erection'."

2011: Dave does a bit from a Jay Leno routine from years ago.

2011: Top Ten Reasons I, Dave Letterman, Am Proud To Be An American:
6. All our Presidents were born in America...or possibly Kenya.

2011: Guests Julia Roberts (Dave says he looks like Ty Cobb) and music
from Cake.

Now here are some words of wisdom from our good friend Dr. Phil:

"And I'm sorry to be condescending, but you are a child."

Cincy...@aol.com

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"I miss George W." - David Letterman

[Westley]

On 6/29/12 10:19 PM, Donz5 wrote:
> 1994: In a spoof of Home Shopping Network, Dave sells "Dave and Paul
> Collection Plates," giving out the office number of his head writer,
> Rob Burnett.
>
> 1994: Dave invites Megan and Tim, a couple from Kansas City, in from
> the storm, gives them towels to dry off, and offers them seats by the
> spiral stairway, where they'll stay throughout the show.
>

I remember parts of this. It was originally set to be
'Would You Like to Cool Off?' but because of the rain it
was changed to 'Would You Like to Dry Off?'

Dave was calling the phones out on 53rd and Broadway and
several passersby simply passed by the ringing phone.
Finally Tim picked up the phone and he and his girlfriend
Megan were invited into the theater. Besides the towels,
they were also given the Dave and Paul Collection plates.

I think Tim did or said something to irritate Dave but
can't remember what that was. I just remember Dave was
snippy and snide towards him a lot.