List for January 9 - 12 / 01
JZA
'Kid's Drawings', Charlie Sheen, 'Raymond the Preparation H
Guy', Tim Blake Nelson, Ricky Staggs and Bruce Hornsby
Wednesday ****
'Rockefeller Christmas Tree Coming Down', Mayor Rudy
Guilinai, Jim Gaffigan, Robert Smigel
Thursday *
'Bring on the Perks', Dennis Quaid, 'Hey, Conan', Joy Behar,
Greg Fitzsimmons
Friday ****
'Focus on America: Dotcom Failures', Mira Sorvino, Richard
Lewis, Shemekia Copeland
Best Guest - Male:
Robert Smigel - that was a real treat to see Smigel in the flesh.
He and Conan were having a great time talking together, not
a question and answer interview but a real good old-fashioned
two guys reminiscing and bantering. We got to hear some
juicy behind-the-scene tidbits; the only thing lacking was
Smigel doing a little bit of the Clinton voice.
Best Guest - Female:
Mira Sorvino - Started out as your basic interview, 'So what's
it like living in France?' but quickly rolled over into a totally
unscripted 'Star Trek' episode debate, something the show
doesn't have enough of. Bonus points for Sorvino for being
so caught up with the giggles that she couldn't speak.
Worst Guest:
Jim Gaffigan - So, ya got any other pat jokes or one-liners
you'd like Conan to set up for you?
Worst Trend of the Week:
If you can call two examples, trends, Its the middle of the show
segment which startes out promising but ends with a resounding
thud. If it were 'Monty Python', the foot, or a 10-ton weight,
would have dropped in maybe 10 or 15 seconds before the sorry
endings the show's writers came up for 'Raymond the Preparation
H Guy' and 'Hey, Conan'.
Conan's Best New Impression:
Texas Ranger with a Walker. Now did Leno also do a first-class
impersonation of this or did he just stand there with his usual
shitty grin?
Least Believable Statement,
Conan's after adlibbing that he wouldn't need 19 friends to help
him pull a Boeing 757 with his penis and then stating the line
was stupid and apologizing and that "...I come out here... I get
excited." Audience woops. Conan, "I didn't mean it that way."
Yes, you did.
'Late Night' Employee Must Likely to be Yelled at AFter the
Show:
The stagehand who got in the way of the camera shot showing
La Bamba's empty place in the band.
Best Dual Purpose Product:
The Guitar Humidifier/Sexual Dysfunction Alleviator.
Best Kid's Drawing:
Kerry's of Cher melting in the guest chair.
Worst Kid's Drawing:
Agatha's of Conan meeting the NBC executive who hired him,
who's now a homeless bum sprawled on the sidewalk.
Charlie Sheen's Only Job 25 Years from Now:
Portraying Richard Nixon.
Best Diss of an Airline Without Concretely Naming that Airline:
Charlie Sheen, re: the airline which lost his luggage, "It wasn't a
foreign airline, it was an american airline."
Biggest Sign Charlie Sheen Was Wearing Borrowed Clothes:
THe shirt did not fit around his neck; the top button had to be
left undone so the guy could breathe. Possibly one of pencil-
necked Conan's own shirts?
Best Interview Endorsement:
Charlie Sheen for the McFlurry.
Worst Middle of the Show Skit:
'Raymond the Preparation H Guy' -- started out okay, I liked
Brian Stack's character, then it conclued with Raymond going
on a killing spree, shooting Stack's character and everyone he
sees in the hallway. I just don't get how that ending was
supposed to be funny.
'Late Night' writer, "I know a great way to end the skit! Let's
have Raymond start shooting at the detective and then he
senselessly shoots at innocent bystanders in the hallway!"
That's not funny.
My suggestion: The detective admits that, though he has to
protect Preparation H from theft, he hates the stuff. Later,
after Raymond hits him and he's lying on the steps, Raymond
opens a tube of Preparation H and squeezes it out on top of
the horrified and writhing detective.
Best Movie Clip:
Tim Blake Nelson in 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?'
Biggest Difference Between How a Guy Looks in a Movie
and How He Looks in Real Life:
Tim Blake Nelson
Tim Blake Nelson's Best Line:
The one how folks in Oklahoma describe Jewish people, "Oh
yeah, he's one of them old time people from the Bible."
Best Story About Performing Shakespeare:
Tim Blake Nelson's about the director of 'Troillus and Cressida',
who was apparently a big 'South Park' and 'Beavis and Butthead'
fan, suggested to Tim that he take a leak from center stage.
The Plan You Just Know Wasn't Going to Be Implemented, But
Made You Watch the Next Night's Show Anyway:
Conan's plan to piss in front of tomorrow night's audience.
Best Interruption:
While introducing Ricky Staggs and Bruce Hornsby, Charlie
Sheen interrupted and dropped off a McFlurry for Conan.
The Night of Dressing Like 3M Executives:
Wednesday - Conan, Guiliani, Gaffigan, and most of the band
looked just like the guys I used to work for at 3M. Smigel was
dressed like the copier repairman
The Best Reason Conan Should Let His Hair Grow Longer
and Fuller:
It keeps his face looking like it's a more normal size. A too
short haircut makes his face look huge.
Best Admission:
Conan finally (albeit indirectly) admits that the reason the camera
never shows his whole body when he dances or moonwalks is
so the home viewer can never really tell how good or bad he is at it.
Best Monologue Joke:
Re: '60 Minutes' killing a story on the 'Vagina Monoluges'
because they don't want to say 'vagina' on the air and every time
they said 'vagina', Mike Wallace would reminisce, "I remember
those."
Question of the Week #1:
Was Robert Smigel a last minute guest? Did someone or some
band drop out suddenly and the show asked Smigel to fill in?
'Come on, Bobby, you have to promote your new show and we
really need a stellar third guest segment."
Worst Audience Member:
The woman who attacked and 'grinded' into Conan before the
show. Not so much for doing that per se, but, when the camera
was on her, was embarrassed and tried to hide.
Those two attitudes don't mesh. If you are going to be so
brazen as to attack and grind, you'd think the same person
would still have a 'come on, baby, give it to me' demeanor 15
minutes later, instead of trying to hide her face.
Question of the Week #2:
Is there a lot more desk banter going on? Banter that can be
used as extraneous padding in case the show comes up a few
minutes short?
Worst Opening Comedy Bit:
THe Rockefelle Christmas tree comes down. Though it
probably looked on paper, on the air it just looked like
7th grade mush
Conan's First Self-Promotion in 7 Years:
He finally announces when he's going to be making an
appearance on another show; in this case, the 'Tonight Show'
in a week and a half.
Mayor Rudy Guiliani's Best Line:
Conan, "You're scaring people."
Guiliani, "I do that very effectively."
Conan's Best Line:
After Rudy Guiliani spilled out some numbers on how quickly
the female rat population can reproduce, Conan, "I'm from an
Irish family; none of this shocks me."
Worst Stunt:
The Rat-Cam. Unless Conan or Guiliani would have walked
up and stomped on it.
Biggest Need for a Clip:
In the intro for Jim Gaffigan, Conan stated he had been in
several 'Late Night' bits. How about a clip or two of those?
Jim Gaffigan's Best Line:
'The reason I look like this is because my father was from
Sweden and my mother was Elton John."
The 'Polars Apart' Moment:
When Gaffigan and Conan were discussing being anti-reading,
I had a big thick book, 'The Shadow of the Winter Palace' (which
I'm halfway through), right next to me.
This Week's Most Stilted, Scripted, Leno-type Interview:
Jim Gaffigan's. It was much too obvious that Conan's role
was simply to set up the jokes and one-liners that Gaffigan
had memorized.
Best TV Clip:
The clip of Triumph at the 'Hollywood Squares'.
Wished they would have showed a little of Smigel's 'Saturday
Night Live' animation. The one with Sally Jessie Raphael would
have been an excellent choice.
Conan's Favorite Interview Segment:
Of course, Robert Smigel's, Even though Mira Sorvino looked
mighty pretty and talked about 'Star Trek', It was old buddy
Smigel with whom Conan had the most fun interviewing.
Best Part of Robert Smigel's Interview:
He told, in the Triumph voice, the two over-the-line jokes
about Kathie Lee.
Question of the Week #3:
What did Sally Jessie Raphael do on 'TV Funhouse'?
Best Piece of Trivia:
Smigel bought Conan the Eisenhower mug.
Question of the Week #4:
Why did Joy Behar get a huge response from the studio
audience when she was announced in Thursday night's
line-up?
Conan's Best Line:
Re: Max being sick with what La Bamba just had. It's
because, Conan said, "the band makes out after the show."
Best Bit in 'Bring On the Perks":
The clip of Max after consuming 40 gallons of Haagan Daz,
very fat and with bad teeth.
Worst Outfit:
Conan's in the 'Castaway Clip'. Though the outfit did make
it look like he's not that skinny anymore and actually has
pretty good legs.
Besides Occasional Walk-ons for 'Late Night', What is
Nipsy Russell Doing These Days?:
Nothing.
Best Guest Line to Take Out of Context:
Dennis Quaid's, "You have a penis." But did NBC highlight
this line in their promos for the show? Nope.
Biggest Example of NBC Budget Cuts:
The show is cutting back on $ for the extras, as demonstrated
by the supposedly beautiful woman hired for the 'Hey, Conan'
skit who was going to proposition him. With a little more $
they could get a better-looking, less-skanky looking woman
Question of the Week #4:
Who flubbed their line? After Conan assumes the blond
woman was their for the dog but then a little girl claims the dog:
Conan, "I guess you were looking for me."
Woman, "Yeah, I did."
Was Conan supposed to say, " I guess you meant me."
or was the woman supposed to say, "Yes, I was."
Oddest Opening Line:
Joy Behar, "Do you think I have more cleavage than Dennis
Quaid?"
Biggest Sign Conan's Not Paying Real Close Attention:
A half a minute after he asked Joy Behar if facial collogen
injections hurt and she told him, "Hell, yes!", Conan suggested
collogen injections for the penis.
Why the 'Love Light' Joy Behar Talked About Won't
Be Popular:
Very doubtful that they would work, and, as with ceiling
mirrors, you'd always worry about them falling off the
ceiling and smashing into you lie in bed.
Conan's Best Line:
"I'm on late, I can make no sense if I like."
Worst Promotion for a Charity:
Joy Behar's About Face charity, she described it as being for
people with "facial defenses", a phrase that made you do a
Dubya-like 'Huh?', instead of being clear that it's for people
with facial disfigurements or defects.
My Take on Greg Fitzsimmons:
Stayed around for the first joke, something lame about orange
beards, then zapped through the rest of his segment.
Question of the Week #68:
Why does the NBC ghost logo in the corner of the screen
still have the Olympic rings?
Best Joke:
Re: the producers of 'Survivor II' claiming the second cast is
much more scheming than the first, and that they would "eat
Richard Hatch alive", Conan, "Upon hearing this, Richard
Hatch said, 'That sounds great.' "
Question of the Week #9:
Conan re: the walkover song on Friday's show, "I love
that song!" What song was it?
The 'Missed It By That Much' Award:
Goes to LIttle Jay Leno; looks almost as grotesque as the
real thing, but would have been perfect if they just got that
guy to do some weasely nasal Leno giggles.
Best Blooper:
Conan in 'Focus on America: Dotcom Failures', "...having
a lot of money makes people lazy...I mean, crazy."
Actually it does both.
Best Two Bits in 'Focus on America: Dotcom Failures':
THe worst websites -- an example of good, "Is.my.house.
on.fire.com, better -- 'Am.I.being.mauled.by.a ,bear,com'
and best -- 'could.I.be.gay.com;
and , seeing the same guy pack up his dotcom business,
go down the hall to his old life, the Star Trek Club.
Best Dressed Guest:
Miro Sorvino
Most Un-Gaffigan Interview:
Miro Sorvino's.
Best Interview Topic:
The classic 'Star Trek' series. That was so much fun to listen
to two real fans of the original show passionately discuss it.
Best 'Star Trek' Critiques:
Mira Sorvino, re: 'The Trouble with Tribbles" episode,
"That one's just dumb. They're like little hamsters in a
pile."
Conan, re: "The City on the Edge of Forever" episode,
'...because it's always clear to me that they were running
out of money and 'hey, there's a lot, let's just use the 20th
Century Fox 1920's lot right over there.' "
And the explaining, in detail, why the 1920's/Joan Collins
episode was so good.
Oddest Casting:
Mira Sorvino as Daisy Buchanan in 'the Great Gatsby'?
So who's portraying Gatsby? Al Roker?
Conan's Best Protest:
Mira Sorvino picked up the blue card, " This is what we
were supposed to talk about."
Conan, "Yes, but i am an individual creature with a mind
of my own... I'm not some robot who does what they
tell me! I am a man! I have my own mind!"
The delivery of this, complete with robot stomping, was
priceless.
Conan's Best Line:
"They put so much make-up on this white white melon the
studio audience is often horrified when I come out to say
hi to them because they can tell I've been painted like a
house."
Best New Commercial Bumper:
The blue moons.
Best Tie:
Richard Lewis' brilliant multi-colored tie.
Worst Interview Topic:
Penile implants.
The 'I liked your earlier, funnier work better' Guest:
RIchard Lewis, he used to be a very funny guy. Now it's
all ranting and raving with nary a humerous glimmer.
Best Part of the Richard Lewis Interview:
Conan making fun of Richard Lewis' sign language for
making love, "That's someone coming at you with a
weapon; that's someone chasing a raccoon away with a
Cute Comic
>The clip of Max after consuming 40 gallons of Haagan Daz,
>very fat and with bad teeth
*covers mouth* They aint THAT bad......*chuckles*
- E.C. "Fat Max"
Hey, a couple more paychecks like I got for that I'll get 'em fixed. ;)
JigAndReal
In response to "Question of the Week #3:
What did Sally Jessie Raphael do on 'TV Funhouse'?," the answer is that all the
anipals [animal puppets and such] were on her talk show, discussing some
Springer-like topic [yes, I can't remember exactly what it was, other than that
it had to do with chameleons].
Sigh. Keep these coming. I'm gonna miss being out of the loop with the late
night TV, going back to college and all on the 25th... worse than that, my
stupid school doesn't even get cable, so I'm gonna miss all the TV Funhouses
produced until God knows when. :(
Oh, and I think anytime a guest does a crappy, pre-fabricated interview, they
should be said to have "pulled a Gaffigan."
I'm so glad his last name sounds like a crappy thing to do.
*DLS
mjgr...@yahoo.com
> Best Guest - Male:
> Robert Smigel - that was a real treat to see Smigel in the flesh.
> He and Conan were having a great time talking together, not
> a question and answer interview but a real good old-fashioned
> two guys reminiscing and bantering. We got to hear some
> juicy behind-the-scene tidbits; the only thing lacking was
> Smigel doing a little bit of the Clinton voice.
<nods in agreement>. I'm sure I've seen him elsewhere, but I couldn't
picture him. Very cool appearance. I've been enjoying his new show "TV
Funhouse"
> Best Guest - Female:
> Mira Sorvino - Started out as your basic interview, 'So what's
> it like living in France?' but quickly rolled over into a totally
> unscripted 'Star Trek' episode debate, something the show
> doesn't have enough of. Bonus points for Sorvino for being
> so caught up with the giggles that she couldn't speak.
This segment was totally fresh...Mira really brought out the best in Conan.
And I loved that the discussion went *way* off course and never really came
back to the blue card...
> Worst Guest:
> Jim Gaffigan - So, ya got any other pat jokes or one-liners
> you'd like Conan to set up for you?
Yeah, but I kind of enjoy his show "Welcome to NY"
> Worst Trend of the Week:
> If you can call two examples, trends, Its the middle of the show
> segment which startes out promising but ends with a resounding
> thud.
I can't even remember how they ended...Tho I thought the preperation H guy
was an especially funny bit. The trouble with those middle bits are that
they are pretty short, and often they seem to just abruptly *end*.
> 'Late Night' Employee Must Likely to be Yelled at AFter the
> Show:
> The stagehand who got in the way of the camera shot showing
> La Bamba's empty place in the band.
He seems to take screw-ups like this pretty well--on camera anyway...better
than Letterman who can become surly at even small gaffes. Though I wonder
if the recent middle bit where Conan plays the judge, firing staff for
petty reasons isn't kind of an inside joke about a bad temper...
> Best Interview Endorsement:
> Charlie Sheen for the McFlurry.
How many times do you think they said the word "McFlurry" in this segment?
It really cracked me up.
> Worst Middle of the Show Skit:
> Tim Blake Nelson's Best Line:
> The one how folks in Oklahoma describe Jewish people, "Oh
> yeah, he's one of them old time people from the Bible."
Better than "the people who killed Jesus" he he...
> Best Interruption:
> While introducing Ricky Staggs and Bruce Hornsby, Charlie
> Sheen interrupted and dropped off a McFlurry for Conan.
ohmigod, I had already turned off the TV...that's great. I hope they both
get a truckload of McFlurries from the McDonalds people.
> Question of the Week #1:
> Was Robert Smigel a last minute guest? Did someone or some
> band drop out suddenly and the show asked Smigel to fill in?
> 'Come on, Bobby, you have to promote your new show and we
> really need a stellar third guest segment."
Probably, because the first we heard about it was, like, the day before.
Better Smigel than somebody lame from the SNL cast.
> Mayor Rudy Guiliani's Best Line:
> Conan, "You're scaring people."
> Guiliani, "I do that very effectively."
No kidding. I wonder how Conan *really* feels about the Mayor and how he
runs the city.
> Conan's Favorite Interview Segment:
> Of course, Robert Smigel's, Even though Mira Sorvino looked
> mighty pretty and talked about 'Star Trek', It was old buddy
> Smigel with whom Conan had the most fun interviewing.
It was a toss-up between these two, I think.
> Question of the Week #4:
> Why did Joy Behar get a huge response from the studio
> audience when she was announced in Thursday night's
> line-up?
Good question. Out of everyone on the view, I can sort-of stand her.
> Best Bit in 'Bring On the Perks":
> The clip of Max after consuming 40 gallons of Haagan Daz,
> very fat and with bad teeth.
Did you know that the comic who played "fat max" has been posting here?
> My Take on Greg Fitzsimmons:
> Stayed around for the first joke, something lame about orange
> beards, then zapped through the rest of his segment.
That's about as far as I made it.
> The 'Missed It By That Much' Award:
> Goes to LIttle Jay Leno; looks almost as grotesque as the
> real thing, but would have been perfect if they just got that
> guy to do some weasely nasal Leno giggles.
Making fun of Leno is a really smart thing to do a week and a half before
guesting on his show he he...
> and , seeing the same guy pack up his dotcom business,
> go down the hall to his old life, the Star Trek Club.
This made me howl. I actually *know* people like this.
> Conan's Best Line:
> "They put so much make-up on this white white melon the
> studio audience is often horrified when I come out to say
> hi to them because they can tell I've been painted like a
> house."
Mira Sirvino - "there's some lint on your shoulder" No, it's *makeup*.
It's obvious that Conan is pretty heavily made up.
> The 'I liked your earlier, funnier work better' Guest:
> RIchard Lewis, he used to be a very funny guy. Now it's
> all ranting and raving with nary a humerous glimmer.
That segment could have gone better, it was very awkward. I wish he had
talked about his book more.
Well Jean...you are a tall, cool, glass of water...welcome back to afcob!
mj
--
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Usenet for the Web
Z!
> Agatha's of Conan meeting the NBC executive who hired him,
> who's now a homeless bum sprawled on the sidewalk.
well, the one that cut was pretty bad too. it was the kids walking in on
him taking a nap, in a bed with a pink canopy. i think maybe one person
in the whole audience snickered. it wasn't a good way to open a segment.
> Question of the Week #1:
> Was Robert Smigel a last minute guest? Did someone or some
> band drop out suddenly and the show asked Smigel to fill in?
> 'Come on, Bobby, you have to promote your new show and we
> really need a stellar third guest segment."
i believe smigel was listed as a guest the week before. so it probably
wasn't last minute, but i'd bet that he wasn't the first choice.
> Question of the Week #3:
> What did Sally Jessie Raphael do on 'TV Funhouse'?
they had an episode where an endangered lizard was looking for love, and
they used sally's show as the set-up for him and a mate. it was pretty
funny.
> Question of the Week #68:
> Why does the NBC ghost logo in the corner of the screen
> still have the Olympic rings?
they still have the winter olympics for 2002. and they are signed to have
the summer olympics until 2012 too.
> Question of the Week #9:
> Conan re: the walkover song on Friday's show, "I love
> that song!" What song was it?
ah... now i can't remember. i know that the walkover song one night was
"hold on, i'm coming" by sam & dave. but i don't think that was friday.
and i don't have it on tape.
it's good to see a "list" again...
the afcob tuna pirate
=========
-Mel <^:?
"now if you don't mind, I'm going to go over there and take a Tylenol.
Not because I need one, but becasue I like 'em!" -Andy Daly
=========
Minnesota Fats
> Thursday *
> 'Bring on the Perks', Dennis Quaid, 'Hey, Conan', Joy Behar,
> Greg Fitzsimmons
How was Quaid? What was his interview like? I was serving a midnight
pancake breakfast for the elderly, and we ran out of syrup. --- I stand
by that answer.
> Best Guest - Male:
> Robert Smigel - that was a real treat to see Smigel in the flesh.
A treat of an idea...he dressed up for us, that was nice.
> He and Conan were having a great time talking together, not
> a question and answer interview but a real good old-fashioned
> two guys reminiscing and bantering. We got to hear some
> juicy behind-the-scene tidbits; the only thing lacking was
> Smigel doing a little bit of the Clinton voice.
"Chrimmas is the season of givin'... in fact, I'm gettin' right now."
What would be the best Clinton line to hear him say in person? I'm
still in shock over the Bob Ross poop painting.
> Best Guest - Female:
> Mira Sorvino - Started out as your basic interview, 'So what's
> it like living in France?' but quickly rolled over into a totally
> unscripted 'Star Trek' episode debate, something the show
> doesn't have enough of. Bonus points for Sorvino for being
> so caught up with the giggles that she couldn't speak.
Dyed-blond Italian, spends time in France, tells bad jokes about gelded
horses, and holds debates about Star Trek eppies... oldest story in the
book.
> Conan's Best New Impression:
> Texas Ranger with a Walker.
*inhales* I smell a pud movie!
The Good, The Bad, and The Elderly.
Fistful of Walkers.
Fistful of Chads.
> Best Dual Purpose Product:
> The Guitar Humidifier/Sexual Dysfunction Alleviator.
I own it, I own it! *faints*
> Charlie Sheen's Only Job 25 Years from Now:
> Portraying Richard Nixon.
Charlie is my most obscure impression. Scratch that... Charlie Sheen
doing Martin Sheen is my most obscure impression... scratch that
again... Emilio Estevez miming buttcheeks being taped together...
"Got any vices left?" *eyes sparkle*
> Biggest Sign Charlie Sheen Was Wearing Borrowed Clothes:
> THe shirt did not fit around his neck; the top button had to be
> left undone so the guy could breathe. Possibly one of pencil-
> necked Conan's own shirts?
Too tall, too thick an Ireesh neck.
He probably grabbed the wrong one, on the mad dash out of one of NYC's
havens of flurry-flavored flesh...
> My suggestion: The detective admits that, though he has to
> protect Preparation H from theft, he hates the stuff. Later,
> after Raymond hits him and he's lying on the steps, Raymond
> opens a tube of Preparation H and squeezes it out on top of
> the horrified and writhing detective.
That would have ruled. "Flip over, or else!"
> Best Movie Clip:
> Tim Blake Nelson in 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?'
I can't even hear the name of that movie... or else I get that song
stuck in my head. "Iiiiiiiii, am a maaaaa-annnn...." *bangs head on
desk*
gfjdletgfel
bgbheaenbleeooww
(large forehead)
> Tim Blake Nelson's Best Line:
> The one how folks in Oklahoma describe Jewish people, "Oh
> yeah, he's one of them old time people from the Bible."
He was so dead on with that!! You'd think he actually lived there!
> The Plan You Just Know Wasn't Going to Be Implemented, But
> Made You Watch the Next Night's Show Anyway:
> Conan's plan to piss in front of tomorrow night's audience.
He also promised to piss on Willem Defoe's playhouse... but didn't.
Instead, he gave him an "E".
> The Night of Dressing Like 3M Executives:
> Wednesday - Conan, Guiliani, Gaffigan, and most of the band
> looked just like the guys I used to work for at 3M. Smigel was
> dressed like the copier repairman
I'd have paid good money for him to turn around and lean over the
chair, and see a crack shot... then we'd be fully immersed in copier
guy land.
> Best Admission:
> Conan finally (albeit indirectly) admits that the reason the camera
> never shows his whole body when he dances or moonwalks is
> so the home viewer can never really tell how good or bad he is at it.
*scoffs* He thinks we don't know...
> Best Monologue Joke:
> Re: '60 Minutes' killing a story on the 'Vagina Monoluges'
> because they don't want to say 'vagina' on the air and every time
> they said 'vagina', Mike Wallace would reminisce, "I remember
> those."
Random: I watched Planet of The Apes recently... Heston with a gunny
gun gun. "Get your filthy vagina off me, you damn dirty ape."
> Worst Audience Member:
> The woman who attacked and 'grinded' into Conan before the
> show. Not so much for doing that per se, but, when the camera
> was on her, was embarrassed and tried to hide.
> Those two attitudes don't mesh. If you are going to be so
> brazen as to attack and grind, you'd think the same person
> would still have a 'come on, baby, give it to me' demeanor 15
> minutes later, instead of trying to hide her face.
I feel her pain. It was the energy, the pulse and heat of Conan not two
feet from her than overrode her sensible Midwestern mind, and made her
grind him... besides, he probably put on Hamburger Meat Cologne.
I'd like to think I'd have sucked my finger on camera and winked.
> Biggest Need for a Clip:
> In the intro for Jim Gaffigan, Conan stated he had been in
> several 'Late Night' bits. How about a clip or two of those?
Probably a favor.
> Best Bit in 'Bring On the Perks":
> The clip of Max after consuming 40 gallons of Haagan Daz,
> very fat and with bad teeth.
I like how Cute Comic comes in and only denies the bad teeth.
which leads us to:
> Biggest Example of NBC Budget Cuts:
> The show is cutting back on $ for the extras, as demonstrated
> by the supposedly beautiful woman hired for the 'Hey, Conan'
> skit who was going to proposition him. With a little more $
> they could get a better-looking, less-skanky looking woman
LOL.. you sure you got paid well, Maxie?
> Oddest Opening Line:
> Joy Behar, "Do you think I have more cleavage than Dennis
> Quaid?"
That *was* an odd question... of course she doesn't.
> Biggest Sign Conan's Not Paying Real Close Attention:
> A half a minute after he asked Joy Behar if facial collogen
> injections hurt and she told him, "Hell, yes!", Conan suggested
> collogen injections for the penis.
Biggest Sign Conan's into BDSM.
> Why the 'Love Light' Joy Behar Talked About Won't Be Popular:
> Very doubtful that they would work, and, as with ceiling
> mirrors, you'd always worry about them falling off the
> ceiling and smashing into you lie in bed.
Nope, them things are pretty sturdy... *blushes*
Only install them in a high-ceiling house though, else it will freak
you out.
Steam is a problem.
> Conan's Best Line:
> "I'm on late, I can make no sense if I like."
Too bad that makes sense.
> Best Interview Topic:
> The classic 'Star Trek' series. That was so much fun to listen
> to two real fans of the original show passionately discuss it.
With the 6 minute time limit, of course. I suppose the classics are
ok... hearing about Dax and her stomach alien and its past lives for
hours leaves something to be desired.
*is embarrassed she knows that much*
> Best 'Star Trek' Critiques:
> Mira Sorvino, re: 'The Trouble with Tribbles" episode,
> "That one's just dumb. They're like little hamsters in a
> pile."
She's never experienced the epiphany of being near a hamster pile, then.
> Oddest Casting:
> Mira Sorvino as Daisy Buchanan in 'the Great Gatsby'?
> So who's portraying Gatsby? Al Roker?
Why? Not enough of a Long Island Princess?
> Conan's Best Line:
> "They put so much make-up on this white white melon the
> studio audience is often horrified when I come out to say
> hi to them because they can tell I've been painted like a
> house."
He's orange. They don't call him Pumpkin Head fer nuthin'.
When he cries, and his mascara runs, he's called Basketball O'Brien.
> Worst Interview Topic:
> Penile implants.
The reality of it didn't work, this time... but I'm willing to give it
another go.
Jojo
Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/
Noelle
Noelle :)
"Yeah, I'm pretty cool."---Conan O'brien
JZA
It was the lighting. Bad lighting made your teeth look like that.
I'm sure they're perfectly nice teeth in real life.
Enchanta
Yay!!! Jean and her List is back! Thank you!
> Best Guest - Male:
> Robert Smigel - that was a real treat to see Smigel in the flesh.
> He and Conan were having a great time talking together, not
> a question and answer interview but a real good old-fashioned
> two guys reminiscing and bantering. We got to hear some
> juicy behind-the-scene tidbits; the only thing lacking was
> Smigel doing a little bit of the Clinton voice.
We're not worthy!! Excellent interview. =)
> Best Guest - Female:
> Mira Sorvino - Started out as your basic interview, 'So what's
> it like living in France?' but quickly rolled over into a totally
> unscripted 'Star Trek' episode debate, something the show
> doesn't have enough of. Bonus points for Sorvino for being
> so caught up with the giggles that she couldn't speak.
It was one of the most charming interviews I have seen in a long time on any
talk show. I know a few people from France and I have never heard of the
looking into a person's eyes when toasting superstition. I'm going to have a
lot of fun.
>:)
> 'Late Night' Employee Must Likely to be Yelled at AFter the
> Show:
> The stagehand who got in the way of the camera shot showing
> La Bamba's empty place in the band.
He probably got yelled at during the commercial break.
> Best Dual Purpose Product:
> The Guitar Humidifier/Sexual Dysfunction Alleviator.
I occasionally play acoustic guitar and I have never heard of or seen such a
device. Then again my guitar is held together with electrical tape.
> The Plan You Just Know Wasn't Going to Be Implemented, But
> Made You Watch the Next Night's Show Anyway:
> Conan's plan to piss in front of tomorrow night's audience.
If he planned on relieving himself into the ice toilet then it would really
be Must Pee TV. *ducks flying objects*
> The Best Reason Conan Should Let His Hair Grow Longer
> and Fuller:
> It keeps his face looking like it's a more normal size. A too
> short haircut makes his face look huge.
Awww. He looks fine to me but I would like to see Conan with hair long
enough to tickle his ass.
> Worst Audience Member:
> The woman who attacked and 'grinded' into Conan before the
> show. Not so much for doing that per se, but, when the camera
> was on her, was embarrassed and tried to hide.
> Those two attitudes don't mesh. If you are going to be so
> brazen as to attack and grind, you'd think the same person
> would still have a 'come on, baby, give it to me' demeanor 15
> minutes later, instead of trying to hide her face.
The audience seems to be getting rowdier by the show. Also what about the
woman who grabbed Conan's ass; the proposing Canadian woman; the guy that
stole Max's drumsticks and Conan's #1 fan to name a few? Are these stunts
the results of dares, attempts to 1 up the last stunt or a desperate attempt
to get on camera? Pretty soon the pages will be equipped with cattle prods.
> Question of the Week #2:
> Is there a lot more desk banter going on? Banter that can be
> used as extraneous padding in case the show comes up a few
> minutes short?
I think Conan is more comfortable speaking to the audience (studio and
home) therefore increased desk banter. A couple of weeks after Andy left
there was practically no desk banter. Initially it seemed weird for Conan to
talk to no one in particular but now he can easily carry on a desk monologue
or poke fun at rowdy audience members.
> Worst Stunt:
> The Rat-Cam. Unless Conan or Guiliani would have walked
> up and stomped on it.
I liked the little bugger.
Rat:..And I'm stoned!!
> Conan's Favorite Interview Segment:
> Of course, Robert Smigel's, Even though Mira Sorvino looked
> mighty pretty and talked about 'Star Trek', It was old buddy
> Smigel with whom Conan had the most fun interviewing.
And such a joy to watch. :)
> Best Bit in 'Bring On the Perks":
> The clip of Max after consuming 40 gallons of Haagan Daz,
> very fat and with bad teeth.
Fat Max was adorable. Bad teeth???
> Worst Outfit:
> Conan's in the 'Castaway Clip'. Though the outfit did make
> it look like he's not that skinny anymore and actually has
> pretty good legs.
Was he going for laughs or sympathy with that skit? At least he said the
woman was beautiful and she didn't have blond hair. Maybe he is starting to
realize it's what's inside the person that counts. >;)
I also loved the Stoloff's Furs perk.
...Hey, Hey...Love, Love...
You go with ya' bad self Mister Mack Daddy!
> Biggest Sign Conan's Not Paying Real Close Attention:
> A half a minute after he asked Joy Behar if facial collogen
> injections hurt and she told him, "Hell, yes!", Conan suggested
> collogen injections for the penis.
If he can pull an airplane with his penis, a little collagen injection
certainly wouldn't hurt.
> Question of the Week #68:
> Why does the NBC ghost logo in the corner of the screen
> still have the Olympic rings?
Either it's a tribute to NBC's great achievement of hosting the Olympics or
they're too cheap to spend the money for a new logo.
> The 'Missed It By That Much' Award:
> Goes to LIttle Jay Leno; looks almost as grotesque as the
> real thing, but would have been perfect if they just got that
> guy to do some weasely nasal Leno giggles.
I wonder if Jay will hire a Little Conan. Speaking of which has any comedy
show other than animated (Simpsons, Futurama, South Park) spoofed Conan yet?
> Best Two Bits in 'Focus on America: Dotcom Failures':
> THe worst websites -- an example of good, "Is.my.house.
> on.fire.com, better -- 'Am.I.being.mauled.by.a ,bear,com'
> and best -- 'could.I.be.gay.com;
> and , seeing the same guy pack up his dotcom business,
> go down the hall to his old life, the Star Trek Club.
Mira and Conan are founding members of the Star Trek Club.
> Best Interview Topic:
> The classic 'Star Trek' series. That was so much fun to listen
> to two real fans of the original show passionately discuss it.
>
> Best 'Star Trek' Critiques:
> Mira Sorvino, re: 'The Trouble with Tribbles" episode,
> "That one's just dumb. They're like little hamsters in a
> pile."
> Conan, re: "The City on the Edge of Forever" episode,
> '...because it's always clear to me that they were running
> out of money and 'hey, there's a lot, let's just use the 20th
> Century Fox 1920's lot right over there.' "
> And the explaining, in detail, why the 1920's/Joan Collins
> episode was so good.
I was in heaven. I sort of agree with Conan but I think "The City on the
Edge of Forever" was an intelligent episode and shouldn't be classified with
the other "travel back in time" stinkers. Although the episode I abhor the
most had aliens that look like flying plastic throw up. Blecch!! I never
watched the complete episode because it made me sick to my stomach.
> Oddest Casting:
> Mira Sorvino as Daisy Buchanan in 'the Great Gatsby'?
> So who's portraying Gatsby? Al Roker?
>
> Conan's Best Protest:
> Mira Sorvino picked up the blue card, " This is what we
> were supposed to talk about."
> Conan, "Yes, but i am an individual creature with a mind
> of my own... I'm not some robot who does what they
> tell me! I am a man! I have my own mind!"
> The delivery of this, complete with robot stomping, was
> priceless.
He was killing her with laughter. Truly funny.
> Conan's Best Line:
> "They put so much make-up on this white white melon the
> studio audience is often horrified when I come out to say
> hi to them because they can tell I've been painted like a
> house."
It's so sad because he is very beautiful au naturel. It's a shame our
society is so shallow to think of natural features as an imperfection. I
wonder if Conan will give into the injection craze of Botox and/or collagen;
or is facial alterations more of a female thing?
--
Enchanta
Cute Comic
>> The clip of Max after consuming 40 gallons of Haagan Daz,
>> very fat and with bad teeth.
>
>Fat Max was adorable.
Now, THERE'S a new one. *blushing* I guess all those times my female
relatives pinched my (facial) cheeks as a kid finally paid off. :)
E.C. "Fat Max"
SM Jenkins
>> Why does the NBC ghost logo in the corner of the screen
>> still have the Olympic rings?
>
>Either it's a tribute to NBC's great achievement of hosting the Olympics or
>they're too cheap to spend the money for a new logo.
I think they have the olympics until 2008 or something, and so that will
probably be their logo for the next decade or so.
Claas Paletta
Enchanta wrote:
> > Conan's Best Line:
> > "They put so much make-up on this white white melon the
> > studio audience is often horrified when I come out to say
> > hi to them because they can tell I've been painted like a
> > house."
>
> It's so sad because he is very beautiful au naturel. It's a shame our
> society is so shallow to think of natural features as an imperfection. I
> wonder if Conan will give into the injection craze of Botox and/or collagen;
> or is facial alterations more of a female thing?
But we all know that massive make-up is the only way for him to even
*appear*
on camera, don't we ?
Claas
--
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Deutsche Late Night Mailinglist: www.egroups.de/group/us-latenight
Enchanta
don't want to be rude and write about how pale he really is; I'm aware of
family and friends afraid of his whiteness, calling him a ghoul and making
jokes about "Conan is so white..." My Dad called him Data for a long
time...er...where was I...Oh yeah, so some of the make-up job is also to
give him a more "healthier" glow. At least the make-up artist(s) for the
show does a great job of keeping true to his natural coloring. Unlike some
photo shoots and especially unlike that time George Hamilton smeared his
patented suntan make-up on Conan's face.
That was extremely funny. X)
--
Enchanta
Claas Paletta <elb...@gmx.de> wrote in message
news:3A6489F5...@gmx.de...
Enchanta
There must be something about female physiology that makes cheek pinching
irresistible. Although which cheeks we women pinch depends upon the age of
our victim. ;)
Congratulations! It was a great bit. I hope you get more opportunities to be
on the show. Good luck with your career.
--
Enchanta
Cute Comic <cute...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010116102551...@ng-fw1.aol.com...
Cute Comic
>irresistible. Although which cheeks we women pinch depends upon the age of
>our victim. ;)
Well, I'm 29...I have 2 sets of willing cheeks. ;)
E.C.