Are Indian Men afraid of dressing ethnically?
Daulat Sen
How many of us are prepared to wear Indian clothing in public places?
How many of us go to parties/events wearing kurtas, pyjamas, Sherwanis or
even Nehru jackets? Not to mention the full blown Dhoti-Punjabi with
shawl!!
How many are prepared to wear chappals on the streets?
Are we ashamed? Are the clothes not cool enough? Is this an age thing?
Do Indian women even like it?
Questions that need to be asked
Daulat
--
"People who do not take charge of their lives are lathi-charged by time!"
Kiran Bedi
Ramesh Pillutla
I don't know where you live dude, but here in Dallas TX you would
freeze to death in winter, have your clothes rippied to shreds by
wind, hail that comes with spring storms, be sunburned to a well-done
steak in summer by UV radiation.
Wearing traditional Indian clothes is appropriate for the
tropical/sub-tropical climate of India, not for the temperate climes
of the US.
Ramesh
Shiv
Daulat Sen wrote:
> How many of us are prepared to wear Indian clothing in public places?
> How many of us go to parties/events wearing kurtas, pyjamas, Sherwanis or
> even Nehru jackets? Not to mention the full blown Dhoti-Punjabi with
> shawl!!
I have worn and wear such clothes in public places. I've worn dhotis... to
the temple, ... I've been to parties in dhoti and kurta, or jeans and kurta,
wearing kolhapuri slippers. Sometimes I wear a lungi around my apartment complex.
> How many are prepared to wear chappals on the streets?
ME.
> Are we ashamed? Are the clothes not cool enough? Is this an age thing?I don't see why one should be afraid or embarassed of wearing ethnic clothes. I
think they are cool and cool (got it).
> Do Indian women even like it?I don't know but they've given me strange looks. And since I don't understand
women I really don't know what it means. And I really don't care.
> Questions that need to be askedAnswers given with more questions asked.
> "People who do not take charge of their lives are lathi-charged by time!"
> Kiran Bedi
People who do not charge their time are left holding their lathis - shivram
--
****************************************************
I was put on this earth to achieve certain things.
Right now I'm so far behind that I will never die.
- Calvin and Hobbes.
****************************************************
Dasgupta
I, for one, teach a whole room of college seniors with Bengali Punjabi and
Pajama (Kurta and Churidar).
You are partly right about the hesitation. I was initially a bit conscious
that I was doing this to perhaps "show off" my ethnic identity.
But, one good things about Americans is that they accept these ethnic ideas
pretty well. That makes things easy.
Regards,
Shoumyo Dasgupta.
Solomon P. Sarang
ive been raised in the u.s.
so i obviously have an american fashion sense
and it would be very odd perhaps even impractical for me to wear some of
the things that were listed in the original post
but i have an indian freind who worked for Calvin Klein and eventually
started his own label
and i know there are other indians in the fashion industry
just no huge names
if however there was a person of indian descent who designed modern
clothes with subtle or even bold influences from indian culture
and i liked the persons style
i would say: Yes This person has vision and part of this is where im from
so id wear the stuff
Nick Patel
Daulat Sen wrote:
>
> How many of us are prepared to wear Indian clothing in public places?
> How many of us go to parties/events wearing kurtas, pyjamas, Sherwanis or
> even Nehru jackets? Not to mention the full blown Dhoti-Punjabi with
> shawl!!
>
>
>
> --
> "People who do not take charge of their lives are lathi-charged by time!"
> Kiran Bedi
Daulat, dude...
I'm not too crazy about wearing dhoti in the streets of New York. I admit it. But then I wouldn't wear
it in the streets of India, either! How many young urbanites in India wear dhoti's in Bombay? Nobody, unless
they're running for a political office.
The point is, I don't find the clothes you mentioned aesthetically pleasing (with the exception of the
Nehru jacket), and it's simply a matter of style. I have seen young Indian women in the city, on the other
hand, wearing certain Indian articles of clothing with a modern flair, and they look fantastic! It's not that
anyone is ashamed.
It may, as you have mentioned, possibly be an age thing. When an older Indian gentleman wears a
dhoti-salwaar outfit with a dark shawl, he looks elegant, because he can carry it well. I, on the other hand,
feel better in jeans and a T-shirt.
Nick.
--
MZ
Daulat Sen
In article <4re5b3$5...@intelsat2.intelsat.int>, Shiv <shivram@*.int> wrote:
[Daulat's original comments on Indian clothes]
>
> I have worn and wear such clothes in public places.
supermarket!
> I've worn dhotis... to the temple, ...
I'm not big into temples, but I have been to them in the UK wearing jeans
usually, much to the annoyance of my mother. I did once go to the
Jagannath Mandir in Puri wearing shorts and almost got lynched and strung
up for being an infidel : ) But thats a whole different story and best
not delved into here!!
> I've been to parties in dhoti and kurta, or jeans and kurta,
> wearing kolhapuri slippers.
yeah, that I can relate to - though I usually do that in India. Jeans and
Kurta are a great combination, though shorts and kurta can be interesting
too - depends on what sort of legs you have : ) I did once go to a Ball
here in desi formal gear and my white friends tried to fix me up with a
desi girl from New Zealand - she naturally got horrified and ran all the
way back to Wanganaiki - needless to say that since then I have avoided
girls from Wanganaiki.
>Sometimes I wear a lungi around my apartment complex.
sounds licentious! Is that when you just like to 'hang around' - so as to
speak?
>
> > How many are prepared to wear chappals on the streets?
> ME.
I never used to - mainly because I felt more comfortable in boots or
running shoes in case I got into an urban combat situation - but hey,
thats just the neighbourhood I grew up in : ) Nowadays I am much more
comfortable with walking around in chappals - though not usually in
winter!
>
> > Do Indian women even like it?
>I don't know but they've given me strange looks.
Indian women always give me strange looks too - infact just this morning I
got a very strange look from a desi girl on the train, somewhere between
"Oh mi god I hope he doesn't stand next to me" and "Hey haven't I seen you
somewhere before?". You'll be pleased to hear that I dissed her on sight.
>And since I don't understand
> women I really don't know what it means. And I really don't care.
Q : Do you understand colour television?
A : No, but that doesn't stop you watching them.
actually thats a really dumb question to ask a desi on the net - ofcourse
we understand colour television - but you get my drift? If we were meant
to understand women, we would have been born with ten powers of magnitude
more braincells than the ones we had - and we lose ours fast too. I think
they will find a cure for AIDS before you or I understand women.
disclaimer : The original version of that retort (colour television) must
be credited to the "Wicked Willy" cartoon series where it was much funnier
than my weak and pathetic adaptation.
> > "People who do not take charge of their lives are lathi-charged by time!"
> > Kiran Bedi
> People who do not charge their time are left holding their lathis - shivram
>
indeed, why hold your own lathi, when someone will pay you to hold it for
you? which ultimately is preferred to paying someone to hold it for you.
> --
> ****************************************************
> I was put on this earth to achieve certain things.
> Right now I'm so far behind that I will never die.
> - Calvin and Hobbes.
> ****************************************************
I was put on this earth cos my mummy and daddy love each other
my achievements pale to insignificance once you stand back and look at the
big picture
I am already hoarding sandalwood in preparation for my funeral pyre
Shubu Mukherjee
>>>>> In article <96185.205...@psuvm.psu.edu>, Dasgupta <TXD...@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
SDG> You are partly right about the hesitation. I was initially a bit conscious
SDG> that I was doing this to perhaps "show off" my ethnic identity.
Its more complex than that. I know people (both Indians and
Indian-Americans), who prefer to wear Indian dresses to Indian
festivals/houses only because they feel awkward when people stare at
them. Its not that they are not proud of their ancestry. Its more of
a feeling of uneasiness (rather than shame).
Also, traditional Indian dresses are very gorgeous (both for men and
women). One may very well feel uncomfortale wearing these clothes in
a party where people are mostly clothed in jeans and T-shirts. Even
sometimes you can't wear Indian dresses even if you want to. For
example, at Christian weddings in the US, people try not to be "more"
dressed than the bride herself. The fact that Indian women's dresses
are very colorful and bride's dress is white forces many to avoid
Indian dresses at American weddings.
One should really compare traditional Indian dresses with traditional
American dresses (say Tuxedo, flowery gowns, etc.). Do you find
people in the US wear these every day?
Personally, I don't really care about these, but I can understand if
someone else does.
-Shubu
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shubu Mukherjee University of Wisconsin-Madison, Computer Sciences
Raj Ganguli
Nick Patel wrote:
>
> Daulat Sen wrote:
> >
> > How many of us are prepared to wear Indian clothing in public places?
> > How many of us go to parties/events wearing kurtas, pyjamas, Sherwanis or
> > even Nehru jackets? Not to mention the full blown Dhoti-Punjabi with
> > shawl!!
> >
> >
> > Daulat
> >
> > "People who do not take charge of their lives are lathi-charged by time!"
> > Kiran Bedi
>
> I'm not too crazy about wearing dhoti in the streets of New York. I admit it. But then I wouldn't wear
> it in the streets of India, either! How many young urbanites in India wear dhoti's in Bombay? Nobody, unless
> they're running for a political office.
> The point is, I don't find the clothes you mentioned aesthetically pleasing (with the exception of the
> Nehru jacket), and it's simply a matter of style. I have seen young Indian women in the city, on the other
> hand, wearing certain Indian articles of clothing with a modern flair, and they look fantastic! It's not that
> anyone is ashamed.
> It may, as you have mentioned, possibly be an age thing. When an older Indian gentleman wears a
> dhoti-salwaar outfit with a dark shawl, he looks elegant, because he can carry it well. I, on the other hand,
> feel better in jeans and a T-shirt.
>
> Nick.
> --
> MZ
I agree with you. I have never worn dhoti and kurta when I was in India,
and dont wear them in America either.
Faez Nasrudin Kaiser
Daulat Sen (ds...@csc.com) wrote:
: How many of us are prepared to wear Indian clothing in public places?
: How many of us go to parties/events wearing kurtas, pyjamas, Sherwanis or
: even Nehru jackets? Not to mention the full blown Dhoti-Punjabi with
: shawl!!
: How many are prepared to wear chappals on the streets?
: Are we ashamed? Are the clothes not cool enough? Is this an age thing?
: Do Indian women even like it?
At social functions, it is the Indian women who are always dressed in
their Indian finery, whereas the men almost always wear suits. Even at
weddings these days, the groom sometimes espouses the sherwani in favour
of a suit. It is true in everyday life too, at least in England. It is a
common sight to see ladies/girls dressed ethnically in public areas,
whereas very few men (often only the older male generation) reciprocate.
Clothing is often a reflection of your position in society. For Asians
doing business in a white country, adopting Western clothing at work and
at leisure if you are a doctor, accountant etc is a necessity. It is too
far-fetched to say that one should wear ethnic clothing at all times,
because it is impractical. However, if you carry this over into your own
cultural events (weddings etc) then it means you are embarrassed of/uneasy
with your own culture.
My personal observation is that men (especially the younger ones) are
embarrassed, whereas girls are expected to observe some degree of
ethnicity. The adherence to ethnicity is often regarded as a virtue. To
answer your question, most younger men would be embarrassed to dress
ethnically at any time, but most girls are expected to at social occasions.
Regards,
Faez
--
Faez Kaiser nasr...@glue.umd.edu
Electrical Engineering http://www.glue.umd.edu/~nasrudin
University of Maryland at College Park
user
Are you not maybe misunderstanding the issue? There is absolutely
nothing wrong with wearing Indian clothing in public - It must just
suit the occasion for which you are wearing the clothing. e.g. If you
would like to wear a kurta to a really smart evening dinner, then make
sure it is your best kurta you have in the cupboard!
This is not the best example but I hope you understand what I am
trying to say.
Also - I believe that Indian women like it when Indian men can dress
the 'Indian' way in a western world. It shows that the man is not
afraid of who he is. It must just suit the occasion. If you think of
it - a westerner wearing jeans and a T-shirt to a really smart evening
dinner will also look out of place!!!
.......
Shiv <shivram@*.int> wrote:
>Daulat Sen wrote:
>> How many of us are prepared to wear Indian clothing in public places?
>> How many of us go to parties/events wearing kurtas, pyjamas, Sherwanis or
>> even Nehru jackets? Not to mention the full blown Dhoti-Punjabi with
>> shawl!!
>I have worn and wear such clothes in public places. I've worn dhotis... to
>the temple, ... I've been to parties in dhoti and kurta, or jeans and kurta,
>wearing kolhapuri slippers. Sometimes I wear a lungi around my apartment complex.
>
>> How many are prepared to wear chappals on the streets?
>ME.
>> Are we ashamed? Are the clothes not cool enough? Is this an age thing?I don't see why one should be afraid or embarassed of wearing ethnic clothes. I
>think they are cool and cool (got it).
>> Do Indian women even like it?I don't know but they've given me strange looks. And since I don't understand
>women I really don't know what it means. And I really don't care.
>
>> Questions that need to be askedAnswers given with more questions asked.
>> "People who do not take charge of their lives are lathi-charged by time!"
>> Kiran Bedi
>People who do not charge their time are left holding their lathis - shivram
>--
N. Tiwari
Dasgupta (TXD...@psuvm.psu.edu) wrote:
: I, for one, teach a whole room of college seniors with Bengali Punjabi and
: Pajama (Kurta and Churidar).
: You are partly right about the hesitation. I was initially a bit conscious
: that I was doing this to perhaps "show off" my ethnic identity.
: But, one good things about Americans is that they accept these ethnic ideas
: pretty well. That makes things easy.
: Regards,
: Shoumyo Dasgupta.
Right on the mark.
--
Nachiketa Tiwari
=====================================================
750 Tall Oaks Drive 118 Patton Hall
Apt. # 3600 I Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, VA 24060. Blacksburg, VA 24061.
(540)-951-3979 (540)-231-4611
=====================================================
Jay Datta
|> : But, one good things about Americans is that they accept these ethnic ideas
|> : pretty well. That makes things easy.
In the acedemic settings.
Would they accept in the rigid world of business?
|> : Regards,
|>
|> : Shoumyo Dasgupta.
|>
|> Right on the mark.
|>
|>
|> --
|> Nachiketa Tiwari
That's true even in Europe (my own experience). Individualism is
strongly respected, hence dressing to assert one's ethnic roots or
in other ways are not rejected. I am possibly taking a biased
sample of the acedemic environment, where individual expressionism
is prevelant and respected. One can see on many occasions different
ethnic dresses in this university town. BTW, unlike the Americans, many
Europeans still have distinct ethnic dressing, eg, the Scots. So it
might be even easier here!
--A Jaysurya Datta
Cambridge, UK.
Shiv
Daulat Sen wrote:
> desi girl from New Zealand - she naturally got horrified and ran all the
> way back to Wanganaiki - needless to say that since then I have avoided
> girls from Wanganaiki.
Thanks for the tip. From now even I, will avoid girls from Wanganaiki like the plague
(even though I stand guilty of being an accessory to gross generalization, it also does
not mean that I'm accusing all desi girls from wanganaiki as the plauge - damn this
political correctness obsession)
> >Sometimes I wear a lungi around my apartment complex.
> sounds licentious! Is that when you just like to 'hang around' - so as to
> speak?
Yup! I'm a great believer in freedom of movement. In fact we used just 'hang around' a
lot in college. Maybe that's where shoot the breeze comes from. Or maybe dylan's
inspiration for 'the answer my friend is blowing in the wind'.
> >I don't know but they've given me strange looks.
> Indian women always give me strange looks too - infact just this morning I
> got a very strange look from a desi girl on the train, somewhere between
> "Oh mi god I hope he doesn't stand next to me" and "Hey haven't I seen you
> somewhere before?". You'll be pleased to hear that I dissed her on sight.
You should have stood next to her and then started speaking loudly in your native
language. Or maybe start speaking to her in your best indian english loaded with accent
and speed.
While one person from hawaii ( maybe it's that jay stevens guy) commented that my silk
dhoti and kurta was cool (to which my chest puffed up a few inches), it seems that desis
(my friends didn't care and thought it was cool too) are embarrassed to see their fellow
country people in desi garb. Maybe they think that they are country too. It seems rather
strange that while americans are more receptive to ethnic garb, ethnics themselves are not
enthusiastic. And as I said they seemed to be more embarrassed. Maybe desis are taking
this apeing stuff to seriously. I would anyday prefer to see a desi girl in a sari..
pAvAdai dhavani..or salwar kameez. Feminazi's note, I'm not averse to seeing a desi girl
in combat boots and toting an uzi. Actually 'buck nekid' with only combat boots is fine.
I'll supply the uzi.
> we understand colour television - but you get my drift? If we were meant
> to understand women, we would have been born with ten powers of magnitude
> more braincells than the ones we had - and we lose ours fast too. I think
> they will find a cure for AIDS before you or I understand women.
Actually I think they'd have discovered more syndromes and cures before we understand
wimin. No! I think we will never understand wimin. We can fake understanding wimin just as
they can fake a blast, but then our lies always catch up with us.
I just take the easy way out than try to understand women and lose all my hair. That
doesn't mean that I'm not understanding. There's a whale of a diff. between understanding
wimin and being understanding. The former is a toughie and involves more complexity than
relativity, chandrashekar limit and the fusion bomb. The latter is easy if you just try to
be human.
Shiv
Ramesh Pillutla wrote:
>
> I don't know where you live dude, but here in Dallas TX you would
> freeze to death in winter, have your clothes rippied to shreds by
> wind, hail that comes with spring storms, be sunburned to a well-done
> steak in summer by UV radiation.
>
> Wearing traditional Indian clothes is appropriate for the
> tropical/sub-tropical climate of India, not for the temperate climes
> of the US.
Don't use the climate as an excuse. If one doesn't like to wear such
clothes, just say so. Stop whining about the weather. In winter do you
wear just a pair of jeans and slacks. You can use the same logic in your
first paragraph here. One wonders where ones's brains were when such a
conclusion was reached.
Dr. Jai Maharaj
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
In the article <4rrm2t$7...@intelsat2.intelsat.int>,
of Mon, 08 Jul 1996 14:59:26 -0400,
Shiv <shivram@*.int> wrote:
> Ramesh Pillutla wrote:
>> I don't know where you live dude, but here in
>> Dallas TX you would freeze to death in winter, have
>> your clothes rippied to shreds by wind, hail that
>> comes with spring storms, be sunburned to a
>> well-done [...] in summer by UV radiation.
>> Wearing traditional Indian clothes is appropriate
>> for the tropical/sub-tropical climate of India, not
>> for the temperate climes of the US. - Ramesh Pillutla
>
> Don't use the climate as an excuse. If one doesn't
> like to wear such clothes, just say so. Stop whining
> about the weather. In winter do you wear just a pair
> of jeans and slacks. You can use the same logic in
> your first paragraph here. One wonders where ones's
> brains were when such a conclusion was reached. - Shiv
There is no problem associated with wearing traditional
Bharatiya clothes in Dallas or cities in Texas (yes,
even in Amarillo) during summer or winter. I have done
it myself and so do others. Visit the Bharatiya shops
and restaurants to observe.
Jai Maharaj <j...@mantra.com> Jyotishi, Vedic Astrologer
%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:%:% *-=Om Shanti=-* %:%:%
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Ramesh Pillutla
Dude, If climate is *NOT* a legitimate
reason that drives the clothing you wear, then what is ?? Sounds like
a misplaced sense of cultural pride !!!
I really would like to know whether you would object to Indians *NOT*
wearing lungi's on the North Pole !! So, by your logic, if taking into
account the climate when choosing clothes to wear is being "whiny", I'd
love to hear you be a man and suffer the consequences (a severe case of
blue balls on the North Pole or other unmentinable things in summer,
as the case maybe..!!!) without a whimper... Cheers and Ciao !!!
RP
In article 7...@intelsat2.intelsat.int, Shiv <shivram@*.int> writes:
> Ramesh Pillutla wrote:
> >
> > I don't know where you live dude, but here in Dallas TX you would
> > freeze to death in winter, have your clothes rippied to shreds by
> > wind, hail that comes with spring storms, be sunburned to a well-done
> > steak in summer by UV radiation.
> >
> > Wearing traditional Indian clothes is appropriate for the
> > tropical/sub-tropical climate of India, not for the temperate climes
> > of the US.
>
Daulat Sen
In article <4rr97g$6...@intelsat2.intelsat.int>, Shiv <shivram@*.int> wrote:
> Daulat Sen wrote:
>
> > [desi girls from Wanganaiki]
>
> Thanks for the tip. From now even I, will avoid girls from Wanganaiki
like the plague
> (even though I stand guilty of being an accessory to gross
generalization, it also does
> not mean that I'm accusing all desi girls from wanganaiki as the plauge
- damn this
> political correctness obsession)
though a plague of desi girls from Wanganaiki might indeed be an
interesting development. Somehow I suspect that Wanganaiki has 200, 000
head of sheep for every desi girl in town. Thats not to suggest that desi
girls from Wanganaiki are like sheep, nor indeed any desi girls. However,
if the sheep of Wanganaiki were to be like desi girls ... hmmm ... how
much is the fare to Kiwiland these days?!??!?!? : )
[hanging around in lungi's]
>
> Yup! I'm a great believer in freedom of movement. In fact we used just
'hang around' a
> lot in college.
presumably that was before you were all arrested? Reminds me of an
incident when we had been kayaking down a river and having got wet, were
getting changed in the only available place - the local car park. Luckily
it was dark but at the crucial moment a police car arrived and shone its
headlights onto a row of naked male flesh - which almost led to some
headlines in the local press about "bizarre satanic cult caught in weird
ritual by river bank". But I digress.
> Maybe that's where shoot the breeze comes from. Or maybe dylan's
> inspiration for 'the answer my friend is blowing in the wind'.
Dylan is clearly a man who would wear a lungi. I can see it now.
[desi girl on train with weird look]
> > somewhere before?". You'll be pleased to hear that I dissed her on sight.
>
> You should have stood next to her and then started speaking loudly in
your native
> language. Or maybe start speaking to her in your best indian english
loaded with accent
> and speed.
the thought had occured to me, and in fact i was about to do it, but she
was soooooooooooo pretty that my knees gave and I collapsed on the floor
as a twitching wreck. I am sure thats what she told her friends anyway.
I think what I actually said to her was "tventy dollar jiggy jiggy?????"
and wiggled my eyebrows a lot. I always do that to desi girls in public
transport systems.
>
> While one person from hawaii ( maybe it's that jay stevens guy)
commented that my silk
> dhoti and kurta was cool (to which my chest puffed up a few inches),
getting puffed by Jay Stevens was a pleasure only afforded to leaves from
certain interesting plants, or so i was led to believe? You are much
honoured!
> It seems rather
> strange that while americans are more receptive to ethnic garb, ethnics
themselves are not
> enthusiastic.
don't you get it man? they are like totally american dude!!! like what
is your problem with that?!??! like only trying to fit in maaaan ...
> I would anyday prefer to see a desi girl in a sari..
> pAvAdai dhavani..or salwar kameez.
I hear the sheep of Wanganaiki are often seen in saris these days
> Feminazi's note, I'm not averse to seeing a desi girl
> in combat boots and toting an uzi. Actually 'buck nekid' with only
combat boots is fine.
> I'll supply the uzi.
no, I think i would add a singlet and cycling shorts to that - perhaps
some dogtags
you must preserve the diginity of the holy indian woman.
> > they will find a cure for AIDS before you or I understand women.
>
> Actually I think they'd have discovered more syndromes and cures before
we understand
> wimin. No! I think we will never understand wimin. We can fake
understanding wimin just as
> they can fake a blast, but then our lies always catch up with us.
ultimately - but though they are better at the latter than we are at the
former, luckily we dont have to be competent in the former in order to
know whether they are competent in the latter. Being a typical desi boy I
couldn't really care less if they had blasts or not - if they did, perhaps
I'd reccomend they eat less mooli. Or have I got the wrong end of the
stick again?
> I just take the easy way out than try to understand women and lose all
my hair.
the counter arguement is that you're going to lose your hair anyway, may
as well do it with something to show for it?
> There's a whale of a diff. between understanding
> wimin and being understanding.
is that a bit like being sensitive and caring? Now any idiot knows that
those are qualities women greatly admire in men they have absolutely no
intention of ever having a relationship with!!!! I think I'll stick to
being a cave man for a little while longer, if its all the same to you.
> The former is a toughie and involves more complexity than
> relativity, chandrashekar limit and the fusion bomb.
oh I dunno, Mr Kang seems to have reduced the problem (in another thread)
down to only one dimension
>The latter is easy if you just try to
> be human.
i think thats back to being sensitive and caring again. Tell me Shiv, do
many desi girls think of you as their "ideal brother"?
Daulat
--
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-09079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
>though a plague of desi girls from Wanganaiki might indeed be an
>interesting development. Somehow I suspect that Wanganaiki has 200, 000
>head of sheep for every desi girl in town. Thats not to suggest that desi
>girls from Wanganaiki are like sheep, nor indeed any desi girls. However,
>if the sheep of Wanganaiki were to be like desi girls ... hmmm ... how
>much is the fare to Kiwiland these days?!??!?!? : )
Don't get any ideas! Bestiality is illegal in Kiwiland! Not that I would
know firsthand...thats just something I heard from a friend! :)
>the thought had occured to me, and in fact i was about to do it, but she
>was soooooooooooo pretty that my knees gave and I collapsed on the floor
>as a twitching wreck. I am sure thats what she told her friends anyway.
>I think what I actually said to her was "tventy dollar jiggy jiggy?????"
>and wiggled my eyebrows a lot. I always do that to desi girls in public
>transport systems.
aaaah..I see the problem...you see, the price has gone up to $50!! Again, not
that I would know from personal experience...heard it from the same friend!!
Its the inflation man...my friend was complaining about it a lot...he use
to be a devout capitalist but since this price increase he's converted to
socialism...
>I hear the sheep of Wanganaiki are often seen in saris these days
I tried to imagine this but just couldn't see it...just how would that work??
>
>> I just take the easy way out than try to understand women and lose all
>my hair.
>the counter arguement is that you're going to lose your hair anyway, may
>as well do it with something to show for it?
>
But the point, I think, is that he wouldn't have anything to show for it
even if he tried....
[senstivie & caring stuff]
>those are qualities women greatly admire in men they have absolutely no
>intention of ever having a relationship with!!!! I think I'll stick to
Hey how come nobody told me that??? You mean I've been sensitive and caring
all this time for nothing??? Well call me an idiot and show me how to
loose that worthless stuff...come to think of it, I have gotten a lesson
or two recently on how to go about doing it...but its hard you know!...I've
been senstive and caring just too damn long...
>being a cave man for a little while longer, if its all the same to you.
good idea...rent is much cheaper i bet...
>"People who do not take charge of their lives are lathi-charged by time!"
>Kiran Bedi
ok...I am really bored these days...so how about a detailed explanation about
the significancce of this quote?? Like for example:
1. What does lathi or lathi-charged mean?
2. Who is Kiran Bedi?
Bobby Singh
DoD #1/0, '86 Ninja 600R
_____________________________________________________________________________
When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I 'm a creep, I 'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here
I don't belong here... --Radiohead, 'Creep'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Debjani Dey
Sorry, I have almost missed this great thread(what do they say.. better
late then never!), have been too busy lately, chasing an Indian man in
Kurta and Churidar(thats what makes him so exotic, without it, he is just
another Ravi..every other Indian man in western cloths seems to have
this name)in California. Indian men in white Kurtha and churidar/dhoti
(revealing the brown legs when they walk!) and Chappal...where is my gin
and tonic..Ahhh..and they say heaven is up there somewhere!!!!!!!!!
Daulat Sen
In article <4ruv0t$k...@news.service.uci.edu>,
eab...@aldebaran.oac.uci.edu (Bobby Singh) wrote:
> In article <dsen-09079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
> >
[the sheep of Wanganaiki and desi girls from the same place]
>
> Don't get any ideas! Bestiality is illegal in Kiwiland! Not that I would
> know firsthand...thats just something I heard from a friend! :)
indeed, but as we all know "Bestiality's best boys, bestiality's best!"
those of you who are not rugby players - this is a little ditty sung after
matches when boys get together to drink lots of beer and indulge in
timeless male bonding rituals involving some very dubious practices. But
I digress.
>
> >I think what I actually said to her was "tventy dollar jiggy jiggy?????"
> >and wiggled my eyebrows a lot. I always do that to desi girls in public
> >transport systems.
>
> aaaah..I see the problem...you see, the price has gone up to $50!! Again, not
> that I would know from personal experience...heard it from the same friend!!
the sheep of Wanganaiki charge $50 a trick?!?!? Jeez! I think it would
be cheaper to take a desi girl out on a date!!! Mind you, atleast the
sheep would be a sure thing! Having said that, I pass a phone booth every
day to work and in it a young lady calling herself "Bhavani, 18 year old
Busty Indian model" is offering her services, not sure what she means
exactly. I wonder how much she charges to dress up like a sheep?
> Its the inflation man...my friend was complaining about it a lot...he use
> to be a devout capitalist but since this price increase he's converted to
> socialism...
well if you live in a socialist commune, say like the ones Rajneesh-ji
used to run, then all your earthly sins can be cast out in one easy move
by exorcising the demons in your mind and casting them unto the life force
of others, whereby it achieves moksha. Alternatively, you could follow
the Chairman Mao routine and encourage young women volunteers of the
Revolution to receive personal coaching in ideology from the Chairman
himself in the privacy of his private quarters late at night.
> >I hear the sheep of Wanganaiki are often seen in saris these days
>
> I tried to imagine this but just couldn't see it...just how would that work??
>
its not so difficult ... first catch your sheep then shear it.
Little Johnnie : "Excuse me Farmer Brown, are you shearing that sheep?"
Farmer Brown : "No, get your own"
think about it. If you still dont get it, say it to yourself in an
Australian accent. I wont ask you to do a Kiwi accent, because thats as
difficult as telling Canadian from American.
> >> I just take the easy way out than try to understand women and lose all
> >my hair.
> >the counter arguement is that you're going to lose your hair anyway, may
> >as well do it with something to show for it?
> >
>
> But the point, I think, is that he wouldn't have anything to show for it
> even if he tried....
its better to have fought and lost then never fought at all
>
> [senstivie & caring stuff]
> >those are qualities women greatly admire in men they have absolutely no
> >intention of ever having a relationship with!!!! I think I'll stick to
>
> Hey how come nobody told me that???
communist conspiracy
> You mean I've been sensitive and caring
> all this time for nothing???
yup
> Well call me an idiot
you bloody idiot
> ...but its hard you know!...I've
> been senstive and caring just too damn long...
let it go Bobby, you have to let it go. There is no room in this world
for the squeamish.
>
>
> >being a cave man for a little while longer, if its all the same to you.
>
> good idea...rent is much cheaper i bet...
>
definitely, and there's plenty of space - get a few rugs in and its nice
and cosy. The running water is good too, but the toilet is a bit of a
problem. And dragging the dead wildebeest in after a hunt is also a bit
tricky. I mean 500 lbs of dead bleeding meat and hooves and horns does
get a bit too much. The bats though are really cool!
>
>
> >"People who do not take charge of their lives are lathi-charged by time!"
> >Kiran Bedi
>
> ok...I am really bored these days...so how about a detailed explanation about
> the significancce of this quote?? Like for example:
>
> 1. What does lathi or lathi-charged mean?
lathi means stick, rod, baton, truncheon, etc.
the Indian police lathi charge unruly crowds - perhaps a little more
frequently than Amnesty International would like, but somehow preferred to
shooting them I feel.
> 2. Who is Kiran Bedi?
>
The first Female Police Officer (of high rank) in India and a national
heroine, with an uncanny eye for the photo opportunity!
A major kick ass lady of the first degree. Big respeck.
Kousik Chakrabarti
Daulat Sen wrote:
>
Believe me Mr Patel, I know of easier methods of attracting women!
(Well ...somethimes, but only on a good day!)
> > Frustration, eh? That too in a place such as UT-Austin, the school
> > (rumor has it) rated by Playboy magazine as the sexiest campus in the
> > US!!
> >
> > -Shubu
>
>
> maybe Shubu-ji you bear more than a passing resemblance to a Playboy bunny
> and hence were so popular in this lovely place???!?!??!?!! ( Highly
> unlikely since I know what you look like!)
> Daulat
************************************************************************
Debjani Dey wrote:
>
Indian man in western cloths seems to have
> this name)in California. Indian men in white Kurtha and churidar/dhoti
> (revealing the brown legs when they walk!) and Chappal...where is my gin
> and tonic..Ahhh..and they say heaven is up there somewhere!!!!!!!!!
***********************************************************************
Just a comment on these two threads:-
THE CURE FOR MODERN DESPAIR IS A MATTER FOR THE PHYSICIAN,
NOT FOR THE PHILOSOPHER.
~Kousik.
************************************************************************
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-10079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
>indeed, but as we all know "Bestiality's best boys, bestiality's best!"
>those of you who are not rugby players - this is a little ditty sung after
>matches when boys get together to drink lots of beer and indulge in
>timeless male bonding rituals involving some very dubious practices. But
>I digress.
I knew nothing good could come out of Rugby...its much too violent!! You brits
need to engage in something much healthier like american football or boxing.
This way you let all your frustrations out and no poor animals get screwed!
(no pun intended).
>
>the sheep of Wanganaiki charge $50 a trick?!?!? Jeez! I think it would
errr...I meant the women!
>be cheaper to take a desi girl out on a date!!! Mind you, atleast the
>sheep would be a sure thing! Having said that, I pass a phone booth every
you sure about that??? Modern day sheep are pretty progressive ya know...don't
be too surprised if you get turned down!!
>day to work and in it a young lady calling herself "Bhavani, 18 year old
>Busty Indian model" is offering her services, not sure what she means
>exactly. I wonder how much she charges to dress up like a sheep?
Hmmm...may be its a sheep dressed up as a woman! Methinks you need to
investigate and find out for sure.
>well if you live in a socialist commune, say like the ones Rajneesh-ji
>used to run, then all your earthly sins can be cast out in one easy move
>by exorcising the demons in your mind and casting them unto the life force
>of others, whereby it achieves moksha.
Plus, from what I've heard, you'll save $50!!
> Alternatively, you could follow
>the Chairman Mao routine and encourage young women volunteers of the
>Revolution to receive personal coaching in ideology from the Chairman
>himself in the privacy of his private quarters late at night.
Wow...and I thought he only screwed Tibetans! (Again, no pun intended).
>its not so difficult ... first catch your sheep then shear it.
>Little Johnnie : "Excuse me Farmer Brown, are you shearing that sheep?"
>Farmer Brown : "No, get your own"
:) I got it...its a sad statement on our current society though when ppl
don't even want to share their happiness with others :(...
>think about it. If you still dont get it, say it to yourself in an
>Australian accent. I wont ask you to do a Kiwi accent, because thats as
>difficult as telling Canadian from American.
Oh thats easy....Canadians are the ones who, when discussing sports, only
talk about ice-hockey (and who can blame them!).
>its better to have fought and lost then never fought at all
You think so?? I use to think that too but then I thought about it and
figured, "Screw it...who needs honor anyway?!" :) Things are much easier
once you become shameless...
>>
>> Hey how come nobody told me that???
>communist conspiracy
damn those commies!! So McCarthy was on to something after all, huh? And all
these years I thought he was a a-hole...
>> Well call me an idiot
>you bloody idiot
Cool...a "bloody idiot"...thats much better than just an "idiot"...no??
Definitely sounds cooler to me...its got the whole British feeling to it...
you know you've achieved nothing until you been cussed out at least in 5
foreign languages...i only need one more to make it! May be someone can help
out??
>
>let it go Bobby, you have to let it go. There is no room in this world
>for the squeamish.
That is true...like my man Nietzsche said, got to have the Master morality...
must be the Superman...of course, he went insane...but thats a differnt
matter.
>definitely, and there's plenty of space - get a few rugs in and its nice
>and cosy. The running water is good too, but the toilet is a bit of a
>problem.
Its all the spicy indian food you eat...gotta cut back and the toilet will be
OK!
> And dragging the dead wildebeest in after a hunt is also a bit
>tricky. I mean 500 lbs of dead bleeding meat and hooves and horns does
>get a bit too much. The bats though are really cool!
well look at it this way...its good practice...i mean in case you ever want
to go into dragging meat full time...as for bats, make sure they don't suck
your blood...i am paranoid about that i guess...but on the other hand, that
could be good practice too in case you ever want to have your blood sucked
full time! :) Life is all about experiecning shit ya know.
>lathi means stick, rod, baton, truncheon, etc.
>the Indian police lathi charge unruly crowds - perhaps a little more
>frequently than Amnesty International would like, but somehow preferred to
>shooting them I feel.
yeah well Amnesty International just doesn't understand the plight of the
poor indian police...its not their fault they don't have enough bullets
to shoot the ppl...instead they are forced to work hard using the lathis...
and you know how hot it gets in india...plus the humidity...they end up
sweating profusely (which doesn't hide too well in those khaki uniforms keep
in mind) and plus they have to put up with the BO since the evil american
corporations don't have the decency to educate them about the existence of
deodrants...hmmm...I think I am going to have a talk with Amnesty International
ppl...I am sure they'll listen since I have worked on their behalf before...
[kiran bedi]
>A major kick ass lady of the first degree. Big respeck.
cool!! We definitely need her to login on this newsgrp and teach all the
sexist males a lesson...
S Bhattacharyya
Kousik Chakrabarti <chak...@egr.uri.edu> writes:
--------[Threads mentioned deleted in deference to BW police ]-------
> Just a comment on these two threads:-
> THE CURE FOR MODERN DESPAIR IS A MATTER FOR THE PHYSICIAN,
> NOT FOR THE PHILOSOPHER.
> ~Kousik.
>************************************************************************
As a generic response, I must respectfully disagree with this notion.
While a psychiatrist may well be the anointed person to cure
individual despair, society per se needs the philosopher. The
psychiatrist himself is as susceptible to the ails of the modern world
as the commoner.
Santanu
Subhajit Sen
In article <4s208c$d...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
S Bhattacharyya <san...@glibm5.cen.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>Kousik Chakrabarti <chak...@egr.uri.edu> writes:
>
>--------[Threads mentioned deleted in deference to BW police ]-------
>
>> Just a comment on these two threads:-
>
>> THE CURE FOR MODERN DESPAIR IS A MATTER FOR THE PHYSICIAN,
>
>> NOT FOR THE PHILOSOPHER.
>
>> ~Kousik.
>As a generic response, I must respectfully disagree with this notion.
>While a psychiatrist may well be the anointed person to cure
>individual despair, society per se needs the philosopher. The
>psychiatrist himself is as susceptible to the ails of the modern world
>as the commoner.
>
> Santanu
To this I must add another of that useless breed of humanity:
the poets.
Subhajit
"For oft when on my couch I lie,
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon the inward eye,
Which is a bliss of solitude,
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils."
Daffodils, Wordsworth
Daulat Sen
In article <4s1srn$7...@news.service.uci.edu>,
eab...@aldebaran.oac.uci.edu (Bobby Singh) wrote:
> In article <dsen-10079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
> >
[rugby songs]
>
> I knew nothing good could come out of Rugby...its much too violent!! You brits
> need to engage in something much healthier like american football or boxing.
see, you nancy boys in the US need to wear padding before you engage in
group blood letting on fields, I bet the sturdy men of Wanganaiki would
spit on you if they ever managed to get out of punching each other into a
stupor on the rugby pitch! Now the noble art of boxing ... I cant think
of a better way of passing the time than watching two grown men trying to
give each other brain damage!!! Frankly I think the brits need to learn
how to play Kabbadi!
(Ok folks, my sarcasm bit was set trueon the boxing thing so don't go
flaming me!}
> This way you let all your frustrations out and no poor animals get screwed!
> (no pun intended).
animals charging $50 a trick are hardly likely to be poor now are they?
er I mean ... letting off frustrations in time honoured male bonding
rituals involving blood and violence are an integral part of most
societies, I'm all for them, especially since you get to drink lots of
beer afterwards!!!! Besides, someone once told me that women go for men
with that macho blood sports look - probably explains my lack of success
then!
> >
> >the sheep of Wanganaiki charge $50 a trick?!?!? Jeez! I think it would
>
> errr...I meant the women!
I find your assertion that the women of Wanganaiki would be like this
quite offensive, are you suggesting that Maori women are simply pieces of
meat? (sets up the slam dunk, will Bobby take it???) Believe me if you
have seen "Once were Warriors" you will change your opinion of Maori women
once and for all! Actually I don't believe that film was shot in New
Zealand, over 2 hrs of footage and not one sheep!!!
>
>
> >be cheaper to take a desi girl out on a date!!! Mind you, atleast the
> >sheep would be a sure thing! Having said that, I pass a phone booth every
>
> you sure about that??? Modern day sheep are pretty progressive ya know...don't
> be too surprised if you get turned down!!
The Wellington Boot was invented to cope with exactly these circumstances : )
>
> >day to work and in it a young lady calling herself "Bhavani, 18 year old
> >Busty Indian model" is offering her services, not sure what she means
> >exactly. I wonder how much she charges to dress up like a sheep?
>
> Hmmm...may be its a sheep dressed up as a woman! Methinks you need to
> investigate and find out for sure.
The interests of science have called upon me many a time to perform many a
hazardous experiment, however, on this occaison, I feel that the public
interest is better served if those more worthy than my miserable self were
to perform this heroic task - for the greater good.
>
>
> >well if you live in a socialist commune, say like the ones Rajneesh-ji
> >used to run, then all your earthly sins can be cast out in one easy move
> >by exorcising the demons in your mind and casting them unto the life force
> >of others, whereby it achieves moksha.
>
> Plus, from what I've heard, you'll save $50!!
well no not exactly, they dont really believe in the transactional nature
of spiritualism, more a sort of - you're so happy now, just hand over all
your life's savings to baba's special liberation fund and he will invest
it for you in a nice fleet of Rolls Royces. So its a pay once get screwed
often kind of deal.
>
>
> > Alternatively, you could follow
> >the Chairman Mao routine and encourage young women volunteers of the
> >Revolution to receive personal coaching in ideology from the Chairman
> >himself in the privacy of his private quarters late at night.
>
> Wow...and I thought he only screwed Tibetans! (Again, no pun intended).
Indeed, though I am sure that many a Kuo Min Tang die hard would attest to
his ability to do so with other groups too. The Tibettans are really onto
a loser here since unfortuneately Beijing believes that Tibet is
rightfully China ever since Kubilai Khan rampaged accross Tibet. The
point is, by the same token, Beijing still has the same "legal rights" to
"all lands from sunrise to sunset" - which does make you wonder a little.
>
> >think about it. If you still dont get it, say it to yourself in an
> >Australian accent. I wont ask you to do a Kiwi accent, because thats as
> >difficult as telling Canadian from American.
>
> Oh thats easy....Canadians are the ones who, when discussing sports, only
> talk about ice-hockey (and who can blame them!).
or clubbing baby seals on the ice pack - eh?
>
>
>
> >its better to have fought and lost then never fought at all
>
> You think so?? I use to think that too but then I thought about it and
> figured, "Screw it...who needs honor anyway?!" :) Things are much easier
> once you become shameless...
things are, but then where's the fun in that? : )
a true artist must suffer for his/her art!!!
> >>
> >> Hey how come nobody told me that???
> >communist conspiracy
>
> damn those commies!! So McCarthy was on to something after all, huh? And all
> these years I thought he was a a-hole...
I once told a desibaebe at a party that the reason the toilet was occupied
was because it was a dirty communist conspiracy. Her reply was "There is
no such thing as a dirty communist" then she huffed and puffed and stormed
off. As chat up lines go, I thought it was pretty good, but I didn't
reckon on her being a champagne socialist. Sadly she refused to get into
a discussion with me about the collectivisation of the Kulaks, or the NKVD
disciplinary procedures on the Stalingrad front, nor indeed the wisdom of
collective cotton farming in Uzbekistan by diverting the Syr Darya and the
devastation of the ecology of the Aral sea. Oh well, I wonder if she
still digs Gorby or perhaps she's yearning for that hunky General Lebed
these days? Now, he's one scary dude!
>
> >> Well call me an idiot
> >you bloody idiot
>
> Cool...a "bloody idiot"...thats much better than just an "idiot"...no??
> Definitely sounds cooler to me...its got the whole British feeling to it...
> you know you've achieved nothing until you been cussed out at least in 5
> foreign languages...i only need one more to make it! May be someone can help
> out??
perhaps you should list the languages you have already had, then others
could help you out?
>
>
> >
> >let it go Bobby, you have to let it go. There is no room in this world
> >for the squeamish.
>
> That is true...like my man Nietzsche said, got to have the Master morality...
> must be the Superman...of course, he went insane...but thats a differnt
> matter.
Insanity in the great is a pre-requisite. I don't do philosophy so I
don't have to worry about Nietzsche one way or the other. Perhaps you
should define your own reality too Bobby-ji?
> ...as for bats, make sure they don't suck
> your blood...i am paranoid about that i guess...but on the other hand, that
> could be good practice too in case you ever want to have your blood sucked
> full time! :)
what, like if I marry a lawyer or something?
> in mind) and plus they have to put up with the BO since the evil american
> corporations don't have the decency to educate them about the existence of
> deodrants...hmmm...I think I am going to have a talk with Amnesty
International
> ppl...I am sure they'll listen since I have worked on their behalf before...
thats nice, but i dont think that the economic base of india really allows
policemen to purchase such luxury items that interfere with the bodies
natural mechanisms like stopping it sweating. which in a hot climate is
not such a good thing. I am sure that the Indian police bathe atleast
once a day to keep this in check!
>
>
> [kiran bedi]
> >A major kick ass lady of the first degree. Big respeck.
>
> cool!! We definitely need her to login on this newsgrp and teach all the
> sexist males a lesson...
>
we sure do, she has already started with me!
Daulat
Bobby Singh
In article <DuE33...@novice.uwaterloo.ca>,
Subhajit Sen <s...@sun14.vlsi.uwaterloo.ca> wrote:
>
> To this I must add another of that useless breed of humanity:
>the poets.
>
>Subhajit
>
> "For oft when on my couch I lie,
> In vacant or in pensive mood,
> They flash upon the inward eye,
> Which is a bliss of solitude,
> And then my heart with pleasure fills,
> And dances with the daffodils."
>
> Daffodils, Wordsworth
Let's see, we got philosopher, we got poets, so naturally, the next progression
is the painters and sculptuors, a la van Gogh, Munch, Picasso,
Michelangelo, etc.
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-09079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
> [desi girl on train with weird look]
> > > somewhere before?". You'll be pleased to hear that I dissed her on sight.
> >
> > You should have stood next to her and then started speaking loudly in
> your native
> > language. Or maybe start speaking to her in your best indian english
> loaded with accent
> > and speed.
> the thought had occured to me, and in fact i was about to do it, but she
> was soooooooooooo pretty that my knees gave and I collapsed on the floor
> as a twitching wreck. I am sure thats what she told her friends anyway.
> I think what I actually said to her was "tventy dollar jiggy jiggy?????"
> and wiggled my eyebrows a lot. I always do that to desi girls in public
> transport systems.
How do you tell the difference between the desis and the YWs?
Oh well, this way, the next time I'm on the tube (in the tube?) in London
I will recognize you.:-)
>
--
_______________________/--\_________
/|\ | / /| /| |
/ | \ | / / | / | |
\ | | \ \ | \ | |
\| | \ \| \| |
*
Kousik Chakrabarti
S Bhattacharyya wrote:
> > THE CURE FOR MODERN DESPAIR IS A MATTER FOR THE PHYSICIAN,
>
> > NOT FOR THE PHILOSOPHER.
>
> > ~Kousik.
>
> >************************************************************************
>
> As a generic response, I must respectfully disagree with this notion.
> While a psychiatrist may well be the anointed person to cure
> individual despair, society per se needs the philosopher. The
> psychiatrist himself is as susceptible to the ails of the modern world
> as the commoner.
>
> Santanu
************************************************************************
You have only analysed a certain desparation of the modern world.Its
quite true that the modern world do require philosopher.But the source
of desparation and the psychoanalytic characterestic of a modern man or
a woman is such complex and controversial that its only the physician's
work to cure it.I don't want to discuss about the complex psychoanalysis
here as it is a public forum and I guess it will bring lot of
controversies.
So,Santanubabu I would cordially welcome further debate on this issue
only if you are interested and only in personal e-mail.But please do
remember before you proceed that you will hear something very strange
and complex as well.
~Kousik.
E-mail:chak...@egr.uri.edu
************************************************************************
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <4s1srn$7...@news.service.uci.edu>,
eab...@aldebaran.oac.uci.edu (Bobby Singh) wrote:
> In article <dsen-10079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
> >think about it. If you still dont get it, say it to yourself in an
> >Australian accent. I wont ask you to do a Kiwi accent, because thats as
> >difficult as telling Canadian from American.
>
> Oh thats easy....Canadians are the ones who, when discussing sports, only
> talk about ice-hockey (and who can blame them!).
It's all in the vocabulary (and the way they pronounce "about" and "against".
> >> Well call me an idiot
> >you bloody idiot
>
> Cool...a "bloody idiot"...thats much better than just an "idiot"...no??
> Definitely sounds cooler to me...its got the whole British feeling to it...
> you know you've achieved nothing until you been cussed out at least in 5
> foreign languages...i only need one more to make it! May be someone can help
> out??
Which ones do you need? Chinga tu madre! Couche-toi! Or, as my grandfather
has been known to say, "Shuor paji bhara gadha!" (Or something like that. Loses
a lot in the transcription.)
S Bhattacharyya
Kousik Chakrabarti <chak...@egr.uri.edu> writes:
>S Bhattacharyya wrote:
>************************************************************************
Thank You KousikBabu, but no thanks. I prefer open debate. BTW,
I wouldn't be too concerned with content, as a different thread on
auto-moderation suggests, these days its a free-for-all out here in
SCB land.
Santanu
> ~Kousik.
> E-mail:chak...@egr.uri.edu
>************************************************************************
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-12079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>stupor on the rugby pitch! Now the noble art of boxing ... I cant think
>of a better way of passing the time than watching two grown men trying to
>give each other brain damage!!!
Well how about two whole teams trying to beat the sh** out of each other! The
potential definitely exists, esp in ice hockey, but the damn officials always
break it up too soon!
> Frankly I think the brits need to learn how to play Kabbadi!
ok but if you guys ever get around to playing guli-danda, let me know!! I use
to be the best one on the block!
>animals charging $50 a trick are hardly likely to be poor now are they?
I don't know...the price of fodder keeps on going up here...its already up
30% from last year's prices! (no kidding!)
>er I mean ... letting off frustrations in time honoured male bonding
>rituals involving blood and violence are an integral part of most
>societies, I'm all for them, especially since you get to drink lots of
>beer afterwards!!!! Besides, someone once told me that women go for men
>with that macho blood sports look - probably explains my lack of success
>then!
hhmm...in that case, all you got to do is convince them that Chess (or whatever
you are into) is really a very macho and violent sport...after all, it does
involve knights, castles, etc.!!...now the question is whether there are any
indian women out there who will buy this...may be if you flex your muscles,
biceps that is :), while you say it, it just might work....
>
>I find your assertion that the women of Wanganaiki would be like this
>quite offensive, are you suggesting that Maori women are simply pieces of
>meat? (sets up the slam dunk, will Bobby take it???) Believe me if you
Me say/imply this??? Never!!! In fact, I find it offensive that you find
what I said to be offensive!! Charging $50 per trick in no way makes them a
piece of meat! If thats what they want to do and they are doing it out of
free will, then I say it makes them very smart business-wise cause here
in US, I hear women don't make quite as much....plus $50 goes much farther
in Wanganaiki than US...so you see my friend,if anything, I admire their
entrepeneurship (yeah I know my spelling sucks) and I would personally like
to meet them and shake their hand in the hope that some of their business
geniusness may rub off on me...
>have seen "Once were Warriors" you will change your opinion of Maori women
>once and for all! Actually I don't believe that film was shot in New
>Zealand, over 2 hrs of footage and not one sheep!!!
Oh I bet the film makers are just racist (speciest?) and just didn't wanna
show any sheep...kinda like there are african-americans or latinos on
'Friends'....
[being possibly rejected by the sheep]
>
>The Wellington Boot was invented to cope with exactly these circumstances : )
Surely you are not advocating violence against the sheeps!!! Cause if you are
I am going to have to strongly disagree and distance myself from such
cruelty...may the gods of PETA knock some sense in you...
>
>The interests of science have called upon me many a time to perform many a
>hazardous experiment, however, on this occaison, I feel that the public
>interest is better served if those more worthy than my miserable self were
>to perform this heroic task - for the greater good.
come on now...don't be so modest! I can't imagine who else has had more
experience with both sheep and indian women than you!! No my man, you
are the best qualified for the job. If not for yourself, do it for your
country (if you are british citizen, please hum 'God save the queen' right
now to feel the patriotism...if indian, sing the indian anthem and think that
900 million ppl are depending on you!)...
>
>well no not exactly, they dont really believe in the transactional nature
>of spiritualism, more a sort of - you're so happy now, just hand over all
>your life's savings to baba's special liberation fund and he will invest
>it for you in a nice fleet of Rolls Royces. So its a pay once get screwed
>often kind of deal.
hmm...pay once, get screwed often...you know, I have many friends who would
be very tempted by this offer had we been discussing some other things but
i digress.
>Indeed, though I am sure that many a Kuo Min Tang die hard would attest to
>his ability to do so with other groups too. The Tibettans are really onto
>a loser here since unfortuneately Beijing believes that Tibet is
>rightfully China ever since Kubilai Khan rampaged accross Tibet. The
>point is, by the same token, Beijing still has the same "legal rights" to
>"all lands from sunrise to sunset" - which does make you wonder a little.
well if the day ever comes, I am ready....I've been going to chinese
restaurants a lot lately just to prepare myself for such contingency! :)
>[canadians]
>or clubbing baby seals on the ice pack - eh?
True..though I never thought of that as being a sport...more like their
hobby...but i guess it amounts to the same thing...
[things easier once shameless]
>things are, but then where's the fun in that? : )
so suffering=fun?? Now we are getting into masochism...isn't there someone
reading this newsgrp with the name Marquis de Sade??!! :) I think we may
be needing his expert opinion...
>a true artist must suffer for his/her art!!!
Very true...I think I've gotten the suffering part down already...now I just
need to figure out what the hell I've been suffering for, what my art is, and
I'll be able to claim the title of 'True artist' and hopefully get a grant
from the government!...
>I once told a desibaebe at a party that the reason the toilet was occupied
>was because it was a dirty communist conspiracy. Her reply was "There is
:)
>no such thing as a dirty communist" then she huffed and puffed and stormed
>off. As chat up lines go, I thought it was pretty good, but I didn't
>reckon on her being a champagne socialist. Sadly she refused to get into
She seriously got so pissed that she didn't talk to you after that?? I've
met some sensitive socialists, but never that sensitive! Usually they are
pretty eager to talk to me so they can make me see the light of socialism.
>a discussion with me about the collectivisation of the Kulaks, or the NKVD
>disciplinary procedures on the Stalingrad front, nor indeed the wisdom of
>collective cotton farming in Uzbekistan by diverting the Syr Darya and the
>devastation of the ecology of the Aral sea.
Stalin must be pretty jealous of Hitler...he killed millions more but still
gets so little attention...well if Speilberg won't do it, I think I am gonna
have to make a movie about Stalin's "accomplishments"...
> Oh well, I wonder if she
>still digs Gorby or perhaps she's yearning for that hunky General Lebed
>these days? Now, he's one scary dude!
Well Gorby's got that birthmark which just makes him look soooo sexy!! :)
But on the other hand, with a name like 'LeBed', it isn't too hard to imagine
where you'll end up!! :) Boy, decisions, decisions....luckily I am niether
a woman, nor gay so don't have to worry about this one...
>>perhaps you should list the languages you have already had, then others
>could help you out?
let's see....hindi and punjabi of course...also been cussed in spanish,
vietnamese, and japanese...i am not counting english of course...my dream
is swahili or the language of Bushmen....I know thats tough but hey, I like
to reach for the stars! :)
>Insanity in the great is a pre-requisite. I don't do philosophy so I
>don't have to worry about Nietzsche one way or the other. Perhaps you
>should define your own reality too Bobby-ji?
Actually, you know, I've never been good at this reality thing...no matter
what I think, it invariably turns out that I am wrong...sooner or later,
some friend or foe will yank me out of my "reality" and bring me into the
world's "reality" so i figured why even bother...just go with the flow... who
cares if its real or not....who the hell can figure it out anyway...
>[getting blood sucked]
>what, like if I marry a lawyer or something?
well from what I've heard, it doesn't matter who you marry! Its the whole
thing about getting married at all. period. :) Of course, this is not my
personal view...i am not so cynical...
>> [kiran bedi]
>>
>> cool!! We definitely need her to login on this newsgrp and teach all the
>> sexist males a lesson...
>>
>we sure do, she has already started with me!
Good!! For your sake then, I hope all the ladies here take notice of your
improvements! :)
Daulat Sen
In article <4s94fa$6...@news.service.uci.edu>, eab...@arcturus.oac.uci.edu
(Bobby Singh) wrote:
> In article <dsen-12079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
[brain damage and boxing]
>
> Well how about two whole teams trying to beat the sh** out of each other! The
> potential definitely exists, esp in ice hockey, but the damn officials always
> break it up too soon!
>
This nice man from California once asked me to join his hockey team, when
I asked him what the team was called, he said it was the "Rectum
Raiders". Funny, I never heard of that town.
[sports]
> ok but if you guys ever get around to playing guli-danda, let me know!! I use
> to be the best one on the block!
>
Ever thought about commercialising Guli-Danda? I think its got great
potential for amphitheatre histrionics and blood and guts and close up TV
shots!!!! Team names might be interesting ... Detroit Dandas, Galveston
Guli's ... etc.
>
>
> >animals charging $50 a trick are hardly likely to be poor now are they?
>
> I don't know...the price of fodder keeps on going up here...its already up
> 30% from last year's prices! (no kidding!)
Fodder, schmodder ... soon they'll be eating reprocessed cows and then
they can have their own version of BSE! In that case I urge them to raise
their rates and continue to eat fresh pasture.
>
[macho sports that women allegedly like]
>
> hhmm...in that case, all you got to do is convince them that Chess (or
whatever
> you are into) is really a very macho and violent sport...after all, it does
> involve knights, castles, etc.!!...now the question is whether there are any
> indian women out there who will buy this...may be if you flex your muscles,
> biceps that is :), while you say it, it just might work....
>
Look its bad enough that I spend time on computers, now you want me to add
Chess to my pastimes!!! How on earth am I going to persuade anyone that I
am indeed a wildebeest hunting caveman?!?!! Maybe I could persuade her
that I make the chess pieces from animal heads ... or better still the
skulls of my love rivals!?!?!?!?
>
[aspersions on Maori women]
>
> Me say/imply this??? Never!!! In fact, I find it offensive that you find
> what I said to be offensive!!
oh good, for a minute I was worried! Actually the slam dunk I wanted you
to pick up was labelling the sheep of Wanganaiki as pieces of meat, which
to be honest is a lot more credible! 'Slam in the lamb' as they say in
New Zealand!
[admiring the $50 a trick charged by Wanganaikians]
> and I would personally like
> to meet them and shake their hand in the hope that some of their business
> geniusness may rub off on me...
>
I am not sure I want to be present when you are rubbing off with your new
friends in Wanganaiki.
>
[no sheep in the footage]
> Oh I bet the film makers are just racist (speciest?) and just didn't wanna
> show any sheep...kinda like there are african-americans or latinos on
> 'Friends'....
>
though they did manage to show a white male - chinese female couple once.
I missed this fridays episode (yes I do actually have a social life!) but
last weeks was pretty funny - apart from the cliches. It was the one
about the man downstairs dying and leaving them loads of junk to fight
over.
>
> [being possibly rejected by the sheep]
> >
> >The Wellington Boot was invented to cope with exactly these circumstances : )
>
> Surely you are not advocating violence against the sheeps!!!
umm ... no
> Cause if you are
> I am going to have to strongly disagree and distance myself from such
> cruelty...may the gods of PETA knock some sense in you...
>
ok, that makes sense. I am reliably informed by an english woman friend
that the wellington boot (whilst worn by the farmer) nicely accomodates
the hind legs of the sheep. She went to agricultural college, so she
should know.
>
>
[passing on the great opportunity to road test Bhavani]
>
> come on now...don't be so modest! I can't imagine who else has had more
> experience with both sheep and indian women than you!!
sheep, yes. Indian women - no.
> No my man, you
> are the best qualified for the job. If not for yourself, do it for your
> country (if you are british citizen, please hum 'God save the queen' right
> now to feel the patriotism
so you want me to "lie back and think of england"?
>...if indian, sing the indian anthem and think that
> 900 million ppl are depending on you!)...
On this count I feel that I must pull the vegetarian card out and claim
immunity from such acts on religious grounds
>
[rajneesh's ashram]
> > So its a pay once get screwed
> >often kind of deal.
>
> hmm...pay once, get screwed often...you know, I have many friends who would
> be very tempted by this offer had we been discussing some other things but
> i digress.
yes, but the one payment may be the last one you ever make. You might
find yourself charging 10 Rs. a trick in a back street shack to make back
your airfare home after that. (Read "Karma Cola" by Geeta Mehta, if I
remember rightly, for how that works)
> > Beijing still has the same "legal rights" to
> >"all lands from sunrise to sunset" - which does make you wonder a little.
>
> well if the day ever comes, I am ready....I've been going to chinese
> restaurants a lot lately just to prepare myself for such contingency! :)
Yes I too have done the same, now they will never get past me with the
Boar's Penis soup! Which is something a friend of mine was served in
Beijing once. I wonder if they do that just to make fun of white people
sometimes?
>
>
> >[canadians]
> >or clubbing baby seals on the ice pack - eh?
>
> True..though I never thought of that as being a sport...more like their
> hobby...but i guess it amounts to the same thing...
Ultimately, where does work stop and play begin? Mind you, those baby
seals offer up a ferocious resistance, lying there on the ice staring up
at you with those big eyes and fluffy coats, its enough to put the fear of
God into any man!! Club 'em I say!!!!
>
>
> [things easier once shameless]
> >things are, but then where's the fun in that? : )
>
> so suffering=fun?? Now we are getting into masochism...isn't there someone
> reading this newsgrp with the name Marquis de Sade??!! :) I think we may
> be needing his expert opinion...
>
Having tried to read "120 days in Sodom" I think I shall refrain from
inviting personal attention from the noble marquis. This was indeed the
first time that even I have been hideously grossed out. Either that or
one of us shall have to submit to 20 lashes from the Bull's pizzle. I
nominate you, I'm washing my hair tonight.
>
>
> >a true artist must suffer for his/her art!!!
>
> Very true...I think I've gotten the suffering part down already...now I just
> need to figure out what the hell I've been suffering for, what my art is, and
> I'll be able to claim the title of 'True artist' and hopefully get a grant
> from the government!...
if you figure it out then there wont be an air of mysticism about you and
therefore you wont get any following. Better to retain that, play up on
your ethnicity and open an ashram. Many will be happy to contribute funds
to you, much in excess of the Federal Government.
> >no such thing as a dirty communist" then she huffed and puffed and stormed
> >off. As chat up lines go, I thought it was pretty good, but I didn't
> >reckon on her being a champagne socialist. Sadly she refused to get into
>
> She seriously got so pissed that she didn't talk to you after that?? I've
> met some sensitive socialists, but never that sensitive! Usually they are
> pretty eager to talk to me so they can make me see the light of socialism.
>
yes, but you dont go to parties in the Socialist Republic of Camden and
Islington. Right On Comerade! We are talking about people who agitated
for the "Free Nelson Mandela" cause. Most of them are still perplexed
that they didn't get a free Nelson Mandela by return of post.
>
[Gorby or Lebed]
> Well Gorby's got that birthmark which just makes him look soooo sexy!! :)
> But on the other hand, with a name like 'LeBed', it isn't too hard to imagine
> where you'll end up!! :) Boy, decisions, decisions....luckily I am niether
> a woman, nor gay so don't have to worry about this one...
>
phew! Lebed appears on Russian TV introducing shows about crime and how
he's cracking down on it. Makes the Rodney King thing look pretty tame by
comparison. All I can say is that I am glad the good General never
actually had occaison to cross the English channel in his T-82 battle
tank.
[cussed in multiple languages]
> let's see....hindi and punjabi of course...also been cussed in spanish,
> vietnamese, and japanese...i am not counting english of course...my dream
> is swahili or the language of Bushmen....I know thats tough but hey, I like
> to reach for the stars! :)
klcik, tiktik, klock, tikkitkit KLiCK!!
>
> >> [kiran bedi]
> >>
> >> cool!! We definitely need her to login on this newsgrp and teach all the
> >> sexist males a lesson...
> >>
> >we sure do, she has already started with me!
>
> Good!! For your sake then, I hope all the ladies here take notice of your
> improvements! :)
>
what for? I am a lost cause. No one can save me.
>
--
"I will live in the prairie like a coyote, I have no home"
Yellow Wolf
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-120...@lv007-113.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <dsen-09079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
>
> > [desi girl on train with weird look]
> > > > somewhere before?". You'll be pleased to hear that I dissed her
on sight.
> > >
> > > You should have stood next to her and then started speaking loudly in
> > your native
> > > language. Or maybe start speaking to her in your best indian english
> > loaded with accent
> > > and speed.
> > the thought had occured to me, and in fact i was about to do it, but she
> > was soooooooooooo pretty that my knees gave and I collapsed on the floor
> > as a twitching wreck. I am sure thats what she told her friends anyway.
> > I think what I actually said to her was "tventy dollar jiggy jiggy?????"
> > and wiggled my eyebrows a lot. I always do that to desi girls in public
> > transport systems.
>
> How do you tell the difference between the desis and the YWs?
Ah but Kaberi, I dont seek to differentiate between the two!!!! But to
answer your question, the "YW's" usually look hostile, the desi's look
neutral, like anyone else!!! : )
But that is a huge generalisation, since this very morning on the tube
ride in, I had a very interesting hide and seek eye contact game with a
desi girl who is clearly raised in East London - judging by her dress
sense and excessive usage of bright red lipstick. I guess she must work
the morning shift in a night club or something. I didn't bother speaking
to her cos, 1. I'm a shy boy; 2. I figured she might be an airhead bimbo,
but then again she might just be a particle physicist - you can never tell
these days, can you?
> Oh well, this way, the next time I'm on the tube (in the tube?) in London
> I will recognize you.:-)
>
Oh that'll be easy!
Actually ever since "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge" I've been looking out
for Kajol on the tube ... so far no luck : (
Daulat : )
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-15079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
That is the third reference I have seen to this movie (?) in less than a week.
What is up with this?
Oye, y todavia espero tu respuesta a mi carta, eh? Si sabes que te toca a ti,
verdad?
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-15079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>This nice man from California once asked me to join his hockey team, when
>I asked him what the team was called, he said it was the "Rectum
>Raiders". Funny, I never heard of that town.
>
:) Well let me give you a little friendly advice...in case you do decide to
join this team, if someone on the team asks you to bend over to hike the
puck to them (like american football), DON'T DO IT!! :) Well, at least, I
wouldn't...you may want to depending on how adventuresome you are! :)
>Ever thought about commercialising Guli-Danda? I think its got great
>potential for amphitheatre histrionics and blood and guts and close up TV
>shots!!!! Team names might be interesting ... Detroit Dandas, Galveston
>Guli's ... etc.
I think everybody would want to be the Dandas...and very few Gulis! You
know, the whole size thing! :)
>Look its bad enough that I spend time on computers, now you want me to add
>Chess to my pastimes!!! How on earth am I going to persuade anyone that I
>am indeed a wildebeest hunting caveman?!?!!
See this way, you'll be a wildebeest hunting caveman who is in touch with
his sensitive and intellectual side...brawn and brain...you'll have the
best of both worlds!!
>Maybe I could persuade her
>that I make the chess pieces from animal heads ... or better still the
>skulls of my love rivals!?!?!?!?
Sure...as long they are not made from ivory!! No decent person would approve
of such horror nowdays. Use people's skulls all you want...we are not
endangered by any shot.
>oh good, for a minute I was worried! Actually the slam dunk I wanted you
>to pick up was labelling the sheep of Wanganaiki as pieces of meat, which
>to be honest is a lot more credible! 'Slam in the lamb' as they say in
>New Zealand!
Guess I missed the slam dunk...what can I say...it was a bad pass!! :)
>I am not sure I want to be present when you are rubbing off with your new
>friends in Wanganaiki.
What?? I thought you were going to make the video!! You know...to add to your
legendary video collection...
['Friends' not showing minoroties]
>though they did manage to show a white male - chinese female couple once.
But asians aren't "real" minorities you know as far as showing them on TV
is concerend. Every newscast team has at least one female asian. It the
rule!
>I missed this fridays episode (yes I do actually have a social life!) but
I missed it too. Not becasue I have a social life or anything though. I
just don't watch it as religiously as I watch 'Seinfeld', 'Pinky and the
Brain' and 'Highlander'.
>> Surely you are not advocating violence against the sheeps!!!
>umm ... no
good...cause that would be wrong. Sheeps are people too you know! (even
better sometimes!)
>ok, that makes sense. I am reliably informed by an english woman friend
>that the wellington boot (whilst worn by the farmer) nicely accomodates
>the hind legs of the sheep. She went to agricultural college, so she
>should know.
English have always been the cruel ones...just think what they did to our
ancestors! Indians, the sheep...God, when will the chain of their cruelty
break??!!
>> come on now...don't be so modest! I can't imagine who else has had more
>> experience with both sheep and indian women than you!!
>sheep, yes. Indian women - no.
well you can always pretend with Bhavani (sp?)...just fantasize about the
sheep! :)
>so you want me to "lie back and think of england"?
or whatever else that works for oyu.
>>...if indian, sing the indian anthem and think that
>> 900 million ppl are depending on you!)...
>On this count I feel that I must pull the vegetarian card out and claim
>immunity from such acts on religious grounds
And what religion would this be?? I don't think any religion lets you get
out of this!
>yes, but the one payment may be the last one you ever make. You might
>find yourself charging 10 Rs. a trick in a back street shack to make back
>your airfare home after that. (Read "Karma Cola" by Geeta Mehta, if I
>remember rightly, for how that works)
you know, most guys don't really see this as a problem...in fact, I bet
some guys reading this right now are fantasizing about this! :)
>Yes I too have done the same, now they will never get past me with the
>Boar's Penis soup! Which is something a friend of mine was served in
>Beijing once.
Whenever I hear about things like that, I take another step towards being
a vegetarian! I really think I am gonna do it soon.
> I wonder if they do that just to make fun of white people
>sometimes?
Hmm...but there are soo many easier ways!! :)
>Ultimately, where does work stop and play begin? Mind you, those baby
>seals offer up a ferocious resistance, lying there on the ice staring up
>at you with those big eyes and fluffy coats, its enough to put the fear of
>God into any man!! Club 'em I say!!!!
oh yes, those baby seals are definitely the epitome of evilness and
representative of what is wrong with the world today. Yoiu know they actually
dare to eat the fish, that as everyobdy knows, was made for us humans
so we could fish and bond with each other. After that, they deserve to
die! At least it is amusing to watch them being clubbed. And as everybody
knows, all the animals are for our amusement (its written in the Bible and
Bible is the word of God!).
PS If you don't believe Bible is the word of God, go to a motel, pick up
your free copy of the Bible and check for yourself! It says so right in
there in plain english! (yep, a christian actually gave me this argument!)
>Having tried to read "120 days in Sodom" I think I shall refrain from
Can't say I've had the pleasure. Is it out on video? :)
>inviting personal attention from the noble marquis. This was indeed the
>first time that even I have been hideously grossed out. Either that or
>one of us shall have to submit to 20 lashes from the Bull's pizzle. I
>nominate you, I'm washing my hair tonight.
Gee...I would love to but it is explicitly forbidden in my religion so I
just can't! Your hair should be dry by now, right??
>if you figure it out then there wont be an air of mysticism about you and
>therefore you wont get any following. Better to retain that, play up on
>your ethnicity and open an ashram. Many will be happy to contribute funds
>to you, much in excess of the Federal Government.
I think the govt. is suspicious of all the ashrams now. Its gonna have to
be a therapy center or a retreat from civilization or something cool-sounding
like that. Plus, I am gonna need some holy-looking people for the
commercials. Anyone want to audition??
>yes, but you dont go to parties in the Socialist Republic of Camden and
>Islington. Right On Comerade! We are talking about people who agitated
>for the "Free Nelson Mandela" cause. Most of them are still perplexed
>that they didn't get a free Nelson Mandela by return of post.
:) :)
They should contact his wife (winnie?)...if they are still having marital
problems, she may be willing to send them some of his stuff.
>phew! Lebed appears on Russian TV introducing shows about crime and how
>he's cracking down on it. Makes the Rodney King thing look pretty tame by
>comparison. All I can say is that I am glad the good General never
>actually had occaison to cross the English channel in his T-82 battle
>tank.
But surely, a macho wildebeast hunting caveman such as yourself is not
afraid a puny T-82 battle tank!
[being cussed in bushmen language]
>klcik, tiktik, klock, tikkitkit KLiCK!!
oooh...so close! (Having watched 'Gods must be crazy' (both parts!) I am
somewhat of an expert on Bushmen culture and language)...you are off by
a klock though!
PS If you ever visit the Bushmen, don't try to speak their language...your
prunciation is wayyyy off!
>> Good!! For your sake then, I hope all the ladies here take notice of your
>> improvements! :)
>>
>what for? I am a lost cause. No one can save me.
Excellent!! Thats about the best pick-up line I've heard anyone use in a
loong time. You know, women just love to hear this...they totally love
a challenge...they love the whole "I'll make him happy and optimistic again"
thing...I am very impressed...now sit back and watch the invitations
roll in...:)
(ooops...I hope I didn't blow your cover!...thankfully, the sheep can't read
so you always have something to fall back on! :))
BTW, I REALLY am more of a lost cause than he is!! :) Definitely, much, much
more lost! :) Comparing to me, he is saved and destined to heaven (I mean
the indian version of heaven where apsras dance for you and you get really
good wine...well I assume it is good since the gods drink it!...the
christian heaven seems kinda dull comparing to that...no offense to any
Christians...I think that explains why Christianity never really caught on
in India...but I see I am digressing...).
Daulat Sen
In article <4sf0gs$f...@news.service.uci.edu>, eab...@arcturus.oac.uci.edu
(Bobby Singh) wrote:
> In article <dsen-15079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
[rectum raiders - the ice hockey team]
>
> :) Well let me give you a little friendly advice...in case you do decide to
> join this team,
luckily I was able to avoid this situation. It actually happened to me on
a bus in Madras. The Californian gentleman did infact suggest I get a lot
more friendly with him over "beer and massage" at the Chola Sheraton
after our journey. Since at that stage I was sleeping in Youth Hostels
and eating for 5 Rs a night, I was quite tempted to join him for a drink -
but then I suddenly accidentally on purpose began to notice the extremely
large breasts on the temple carving apsara babes - much to his
dissapointment. Oh well, looks like I missed out on a free meal there!
Curiously, Sridevi is supposed to be a living embodiment of the temple
carving Apsara babes - any thoughts?
> if someone on the team asks you to bend over to hike the
> puck to them (like american football), DON'T DO IT!! :) Well, at least, I
> wouldn't...you may want to depending on how adventuresome you are! :)
>
I am fairly adventurous, but as in previous conversations with Vivek have
revealed, in my opinion, voyaging up the Khyber Pass is strictly for those
with an extremely strong interest in the matter. Happy though I am to
visit Afganistan, I shall leave delving in the chutney cupboard to the
professionals.
>
[Professional Guli-Danda]
>
> I think everybody would want to be the Dandas...and very few Gulis! You
> know, the whole size thing! :)
no, what size thing?
[caveman denied by chess]
> See this way, you'll be a wildebeest hunting caveman who is in touch with
> his sensitive and intellectual side...brawn and brain...you'll have the
> best of both worlds!!
In that case I better start getting myself a little of both!!! Actually,
hunting Wildebeest ought to be pretty straight forward. They just stand
there - in their hundreds of thousands and munch grass. Every now and
again they all run off at once and keep going for two days. Weird. The
males keep headbutting each other over how many of the Wildebeestbabes
they each get to shag and not pay much attention to anything else. (Come
to think of it, sounds a bit like this newsgroup!) So it must just be a
fairly straight forward thing to just lasso one or two and wrestle them to
the ground and break their necks. I've ridden a mechanical Bull, must be
just the same!?!??!
>
> Guess I missed the slam dunk...what can I say...it was a bad pass!! :)
Yes, it was on a par with one of the Rectum Raiders passing the soap and
dropping it
>
> >I am not sure I want to be present when you are rubbing off with your new
> >friends in Wanganaiki.
>
> What?? I thought you were going to make the video!! You know...to add to your
> legendary video collection...
>
Yes it is pretty legendary I must say! Though it must be said that its
all done in the best possible taste. Salman Khan and Juhi Chawla will be
playing the lead roles, hope that works for you? I'm sorry but I can't
let you have Madhuri Devi for this role, she is mine, always will be mine
and I will happily precipitate nuclear holocaust to prevent any other man
ever getting near her!!! (Atleast thats what the guy who runs the Madhuri
Image web site says!) I would never say such a thing.
>
> ['Friends' not showing minoroties]
> >though they did manage to show a white male - chinese female couple once.
>
> But asians aren't "real" minorities you know as far as showing them on TV
> is concerend. Every newscast team has at least one female asian. It the
> rule!
ah hah! More tokenism? Or is this positive discrimination? British TV
on the other hand has no East Asian newscasters. There are however, Lisa
Aziz, Gargi Patel, Anya Sitaram, Daljit Kaur Dhaliwal, George Allegiah,
and that other chap whose name escapes me on prime time national news
programs.
>
["Friends"]
> >I missed this fridays episode (yes I do actually have a social life!) but
>
> I missed it too. Not becasue I have a social life or anything though.
not even your new friends in Wanganaiki?
> I just don't watch it as religiously as I watch 'Seinfeld', 'Pinky and the
> Brain' and 'Highlander'.
>
My goodness, someone who watches TV religiously? Don't you go out or anything?
>
> >> Surely you are not advocating violence against the sheeps!!!
> >umm ... no
> good...cause that would be wrong. Sheeps are people too you know! (even
> better sometimes!)
>
however in the words of the great Chairman Mao - "It is better to live one
day as a Tiger than a thousand as a Sheep"
>
> >ok, that makes sense. I am reliably informed by an english woman friend
> >that the wellington boot (whilst worn by the farmer) nicely accomodates
> >the hind legs of the sheep. She went to agricultural college, so she
> >should know.
>
> English have always been the cruel ones...just think what they did to our
> ancestors! Indians, the sheep...God, when will the chain of their cruelty
> break??!!
>
it wont, but the real cruelty is agricultural college itself. Thats where
the not so bright offspring of middle class rural families go, the one's
who couldn't quite make it into University, any University. They all end
up voting Conservative too (Maggie Thatchler to you) - which probably
explains a lot.
>
> >> come on now...don't be so modest! I can't imagine who else has had more
> >> experience with both sheep and indian women than you!!
> >sheep, yes. Indian women - no.
>
> well you can always pretend with Bhavani (sp?)...just fantasize about the
> sheep! :)
>
thats true ... ok, I'll do it if you guys can club together and give me
adequate funding
>
> >>...if indian, sing the indian anthem and think that
> >> 900 million ppl are depending on you!)...
> >On this count I feel that I must pull the vegetarian card out and claim
> >immunity from such acts on religious grounds
>
> And what religion would this be?? I don't think any religion lets you get
> out of this!
>
It says in the Upanishads that "the sons of Indra, resplendant on their
chariots, eyes aflame with great Surya's radiance shall abstain from
creatures that bring forth wool in all manner of activities". Sorry, can'
t help you.
>
> >yes, but the one payment may be the last one you ever make. You might
> >find yourself charging 10 Rs. a trick in a back street shack to make back
> >your airfare home after that. (Read "Karma Cola" by Geeta Mehta, if I
> >remember rightly, for how that works)
>
> you know, most guys don't really see this as a problem...in fact, I bet
> some guys reading this right now are fantasizing about this! :)
>
there is one draw back. The customer base is likely to be the
rickshawallas and paanwallas of Allahabad. Do I suddenly detect a drop in
the salivation level?
>
[strange chinese food]
> Whenever I hear about things like that, I take another step towards being
> a vegetarian! I really think I am gonna do it soon.
no, no you must resist. atleast for the sake of the children!!
>
> > I wonder if they do that just to make fun of white people
> >sometimes?
>
> Hmm...but there are soo many easier ways!! :)
>
thin ice there pal, I can see the righteous rise and condemn you to hell
there!!!! : )
>
[canadian club and baby seals]
> oh yes, those baby seals are definitely the epitome of evilness and
> representative of what is wrong with the world today. Yoiu know they actually
> dare to eat the fish, that as everyobdy knows, was made for us humans
> so we could fish and bond with each other. After that, they deserve to
> die! At least it is amusing to watch them being clubbed. And as everybody
> knows, all the animals are for our amusement (its written in the Bible and
> Bible is the word of God!).
I am glad that we managed to legitimise that with the great caveat in the
sky, my Canadian friends will be very pleased!
>
> PS If you don't believe Bible is the word of God, go to a motel, pick up
> your free copy of the Bible and check for yourself! It says so right in
> there in plain english! (yep, a christian actually gave me this argument!)
>
and he's right. It says so in Black and White dammit!! Which reminds me,
how is the National Inquirer these days?
>
> >Having tried to read "120 days in Sodom" I think I shall refrain from
> Can't say I've had the pleasure. Is it out on video? :)
I sincerely hope not.
>
> >inviting personal attention from the noble marquis. This was indeed the
> >first time that even I have been hideously grossed out. Either that or
> >one of us shall have to submit to 20 lashes from the Bull's pizzle. I
> >nominate you, I'm washing my hair tonight.
>
> Gee...I would love to but it is explicitly forbidden in my religion so I
> just can't! Your hair should be dry by now, right??
>
My hair is dry now but I'm "painting my nails tonight" so maybe some other time?
>
>
[bobby's ashram]
> I think the govt. is suspicious of all the ashrams now. Its gonna have to
> be a therapy center or a retreat from civilization or something cool-sounding
> like that.
how about Aryan Nation Mountain Retreat and Rifle Range? After all we are
Aryans!
> Plus, I am gonna need some holy-looking people for the
> commercials. Anyone want to audition??
have you asked Meera?
>
>
[Free Nelson Mandela]
> :) :)
> They should contact his wife (winnie?)...if they are still having marital
> problems, she may be willing to send them some of his stuff.
>
I think the divorce went through, so Winnie-never had no one
killed-Mandela is out of the loop. Nelson is accompanied on foriegn trips
by his daughter, which is sort of remeniscent of Jawaharlal Nehru and
Indira. However, unlike the Indian parallel, Ms Mandela is a babe.
> All I can say is that I am glad the good General never
> >actually had occaison to cross the English channel in his T-82 battle
> >tank.
>
> But surely, a macho wildebeast hunting caveman such as yourself is not
> afraid a puny T-82 battle tank!
>
true enough, i have been known to attack battle tanks armed only with a
copy of Proust. (See, macho and sensitive all in one go!). So Lebed
poses no threats to me! Phah! I spit on his Spetznaz commando's!
>
> [being cussed in bushmen language]
> >klcik, tiktik, klock, tikkitkit KLiCK!!
>
> oooh...so close! (Having watched 'Gods must be crazy' (both parts!) I am
> somewhat of an expert on Bushmen culture and language)...you are off by
> a klock though!
but Bobby! I was speaking in the Northern Kalahari dialect!!! I didn't
realise you were dealing with the Namibian variant!!!??
>
> PS If you ever visit the Bushmen, don't try to speak their language...your
> prunciation is wayyyy off!
ok, I'll make it a point next time I am Klueless in the Kalahari.
>
>
> >> Good!! For your sake then, I hope all the ladies here take notice of your
> >> improvements! :)
> >>
> >what for? I am a lost cause. No one can save me.
>
> Excellent!! Thats about the best pick-up line I've heard anyone use in a
> loong time.
thanks, glad you spotted it! : )
>You know, women just love to hear this...they totally love
> a challenge...they love the whole "I'll make him happy and optimistic again"
> thing
or the "I'll break him, I'll be the one he whimpers to, you'll see!" routine.
>...I am very impressed...now sit back and watch the invitations
> roll in...:)
5 overnight - more expected soon.
> (ooops...I hope I didn't blow your cover!...thankfully, the sheep can't read
> so you always have something to fall back on! :))
yeah, blowing my cover is even worse than blowing strawberries
>
> BTW, I REALLY am more of a lost cause than he is!! :) Definitely, much, much
> more lost! :) Comparing to me, he is saved and destined to heaven
but Bobby, this only works if you have a lost and haunted little boy look,
in which case its a dead cert! Hope you've got a leather jacket too?
> (I mean
> the indian version of heaven where apsras dance for you and you get really
> good wine...well I assume it is good since the gods drink it!
you sexist bastard!!! how dare you accuse our heaven of being such a male
chauvanist bastion?!!!!?!?! I am disgusted by you labelling all our
apsaras as pieces of meat!!!
...the
> christian heaven seems kinda dull comparing to that...no offense to any
> Christians...I think that explains why Christianity never really caught on
> in India...but I see I am digressing...).
>
all that guilt and suffering and blood? - Indian festivals make for
better parties anytime : )
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-160...@lv008-143.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <dsen-15079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
>
> > >
> > Oh that'll be easy!
> > Actually ever since "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge" I've been looking out
> > for Kajol on the tube ... so far no luck : (
> >
> > Daulat : )
>
> That is the third reference I have seen to this movie (?) in less than a week.
> What is up with this?
>
hey, its just a really good film : ) Good clean family entertainment,
even more amusing if you are Punjabi or have Punjabi friends. The only
thing that bugs me is that I went Inter-railing too, but I never met up
with 4 desi babes in glam cocktail dresses in swanky parties in Paris!!!!
And I look exactly like Shah Rukh Khan (But taller!) : (
I tell you there is a conspiracy!!!
However, there was plently of smart Indian male clothing on view in this
film!! (At last we have a link back!!)
>
> Oye, y todavia espero tu respuesta a mi carta, eh? Si sabes que te
toca a ti,
> verdad?
> --
eh! no me toces los cojones !!! : )
no te preoccupes tia, me voy hacer algo prontito! : )
Dilwale Daulat Le Jayenge : )
Hiren Chandiramani
On Wed, 17 Jul 1996 10:00:56 +0100, Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
> In article <kaberi19-160...@lv008-143.starnetinc.com>,
> kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
>
> > In article <dsen-15079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> > (Daulat Sen) wrote:
> >
> > > >
> > > Oh that'll be easy!
> > > Actually ever since "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge" I've been looking out
> > > for Kajol on the tube ... so far no luck : (
> > >
> > > Daulat : )
> >
> > That is the third reference I have seen to this movie (?) in less than a week.
> > What is up with this?
> >
> hey, its just a really good film : ) Good clean family entertainment,
> even more amusing if you are Punjabi or have Punjabi friends. The only
> thing that bugs me is that I went Inter-railing too, but I never met up
> with 4 desi babes in glam cocktail dresses in swanky parties in Paris!!!!
> And I look exactly like Shah Rukh Khan (But taller!) : (
but can you dance around trees and sing like him ???????? :)
btw, are you sure you are happy that you look like Shah Rukh Khan ??
I still can't figure out what most females see in him ... but then
again, what do I know ? after all, I am just a male ...... :)
--Hiren
Std Disclaimer: All the opinions expressed above are my own and do not
reflect an official position of Hewlett Packard.
Vivek Sadananda Pai
Like that General whatshisname, you know, the one who left the
Phillipines, I have returned. We'll see how long I stick around, but,
hey, it's been a while since I posted to acuai, so my mere presence
should count for something, right? Speaking of Filipinos, any
consensus? I understand they have a Congress in the Phillipines, but
if you try to have a congress with a Filipino babe, you get 40 lashes,
sort of like they do chewing gum in that country, whatever it was.
Gone are the days of Flower Power, but perhaps its just the treatment
they reserve for 'mercans.
In article <dsen-16079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
|>luckily I was able to avoid this situation. It actually happened to me on
|>a bus in Madras. The Californian gentleman did infact suggest I get a lot
|>more friendly with him over "beer and massage" at the Chola Sheraton
|>after our journey.
As soon as he said California, that should've been your first warning.
|>Since at that stage I was sleeping in Youth Hostels
|>and eating for 5 Rs a night, I was quite tempted to join him for a drink -
Shades of "My Private Idaho"? Even after that movie, many of my female
friends were insisting that, no, it can't be true, they knew that deep
down inside, Keanu was straight, really.
Speaking of which, he turned down $11 million and another shot at
Sandra Bullock so that he could go touring with his band, Dogstar.
Yeah, right, he's straight. Sure. Now all of my female friends want to
go see Dogstar play - rather funny that a group who barely has a
single single should have such a following.
|>but then I suddenly accidentally on purpose began to notice the extremely
|>large breasts on the temple carving apsara babes - much to his
|>dissapointment.
What disappointed him - their proportions or your noticing them? Some
men just don't go for the Indian ideal woman, you know? However, in
some cultures, it's viewed as goddessdom. I knew a Chinese girl here
at Rice who was shaped like the aforementioned apsaras, and though she
had a host of other flaws (annoying personality, annoying personality,
annoying personality, and a few other things), there was always a line
10-deep of Chinese guys fawning all over her.
I asked one of my Chinese male friends why this was so, and he
tactfully pointed out that she was uncharacteristically shapely, and
that he saw it as a racial imperative that her genes be propagated
into the gene pool. Anyway, what were we talking about?
|>Oh well, looks like I missed out on a free meal there!
among other things.
|>Curiously, Sridevi is supposed to be a living embodiment of the temple
|>carving Apsara babes - any thoughts?
Yes, lots of thoughts, but mostly on high-speed communication systems
these days. Haven't seen a movie in ages.
|>> if someone on the team asks you to bend over to hike the
|>> puck to them (like american football), DON'T DO IT!! :) Well, at least, I
|>> wouldn't...you may want to depending on how adventuresome you are! :)
|>>
|>I am fairly adventurous, but as in previous conversations with Vivek have
|>revealed, in my opinion, voyaging up the Khyber Pass is strictly for those
|>with an extremely strong interest in the matter.
Yes, and it's not for the first-time traveler either. If you read some
of those old British journals, you will find that many men died in
accidents when they were going up the Khyber Pass. Usually, there was
a sudden rush of animals, and they got stampeded from behind.
|>Happy though I am to
|>visit Afganistan, I shall leave delving in the chutney cupboard to the
|>professionals.
Reeves? Keanu, not Christopher.
|>[Professional Guli-Danda]
|>>
|>> I think everybody would want to be the Dandas...and very few Gulis! You
|>> know, the whole size thing! :)
|>no, what size thing?
The person with the largest and most flamboyant Dandias always gets
the most attention come Navratri. Of course, some women don't like the
guys who are real show-offs when they go around hitting their sticks
with anything that moves.
|>In that case I better start getting myself a little of both!!! Actually,
|>hunting Wildebeest ought to be pretty straight forward. They just stand
|>there - in their hundreds of thousands and munch grass. Every now and
|>again they all run off at once and keep going for two days. Weird. The
Not so weird after all. Just observer the subculture known as
"pothead". They sit around all day smoking grass, then all of the
sudden, one of them will get the munchies, and for two days, they run
around the neighborhood looking for Doritos.
So, simple rule of thumb:
Wildebeest - munches grass all day
pothead - smokes grass, gets munchies
|>males keep headbutting each other over how many of the Wildebeestbabes
|>they each get to shag and not pay much attention to anything else. (Come
|>to think of it, sounds a bit like this newsgroup!)
The guys here sit around all day arguing how many female Wildebeests
they each get? No, I think you're confusing acuai with still under
discussion soc.support.zoophilia (I kid you not). There you will
surely find discussions of how two friends should divvy up a bevy of
Wildebeest.
|>> ['Friends' not showing minoroties]
|>ah hah! More tokenism? Or is this positive discrimination? British TV
|>on the other hand has no East Asian newscasters. There are however, Lisa
|>Aziz, Gargi Patel, Anya Sitaram, Daljit Kaur Dhaliwal, George Allegiah,
|>and that other chap whose name escapes me on prime time national news
|>programs.
Pretty interesting. I hear there is a female Indian newsperson
somewhere in the Northest US, but that's the only one I know. What's
interesting to note, beyond just the racial aspect, is the gender
thing. Simply put, Connie Chung is not a man.
I haven't seen a single Asian male in newsreporting, well, unless you
include George Takei as Sulu in the original Star Trek series.
Last night on Letterman, the musical guest was M'shelle
N'de'geochello, or however the hell you spell (and pronounce) her
name. She's one of the few Black lesbian pop singers I know (the Black
lesbians being a group somewhat distinct from, say, the Black
Panthers), and her current single is titled something, like,
"Leviticus: Faggot". I wanted to see exactly what she would perform on
Letterman, and to my surprise, she performed something else. Gee, I
wonder why?
Incidentally, she was the one whose first song was "If that's you
boyfriend (he wasn't last night)." Black women were angry that she was
singing about stealing someone else's boyfriend, an act which is
apparently frowned upon, and homosexuals were angry that she was
pretending to be straight.
|>> good...cause that would be wrong. Sheeps are people too you know! (even
|>> better sometimes!)
|>>
|>however in the words of the great Chairman Mao - "It is better to live one
|>day as a Tiger than a thousand as a Sheep"
Of course - nobody ever goes out in the forest trying to make a tiger
his "special friend" the way that they do sheep. (well, not out in the
forest, but you get the picture). Speaking of which, what were sheep
like before they were domesticated?
Well, the "nobody" is not quite true. I do recall a story from about a
year back when 2 drunken men in India broke into a zoo and tried to
befriend a local tiger by putting a flower garland around its
neck. Needless to say, the tiger wasn't particularly interested in the
garland, and went ahead to bite the hand that fed it. Well, actually,
I believe it did a bit more (no pun intended) than just biting the
hand.
|>> English have always been the cruel ones...just think what they did to our
|>> ancestors! Indians, the sheep...God, when will the chain of their cruelty
|>> break??!!
Indians, the sheep? Sure, some of our ancestors were meek, but I don't
think the British exactly sheared them for their wool. Besides, it's a
commonly known fact that the German residents of Argentina have far
more back hair than Indian men. This is why you always see South
American cowboys, though there aren't any cattle in South America -
they watch over herds of displaced Germans.
[ sheep and fantasies, I think ]
|>thats true ... ok, I'll do it if you guys can club together and give me
|>adequate funding
To buy a sheep? What's the going rate?
|>> And what religion would this be?? I don't think any religion lets you get
|>> out of this!
|>>
|>It says in the Upanishads that "the sons of Indra, resplendant on their
|>chariots, eyes aflame with great Surya's radiance shall abstain from
|>creatures that bring forth wool in all manner of activities". Sorry,
|>can't help you.
Ah, yes, this must have been one of the texts you studied while you
were on that extended ashram visit atoning for our collective sins.
|>> you know, most guys don't really see this as a problem...in fact, I bet
|>> some guys reading this right now are fantasizing about this! :)
|>>
|>there is one draw back. The customer base is likely to be the
|>rickshawallas and paanwallas of Allahabad. Do I suddenly detect a drop in
|>the salivation level?
Whose salivation level? Rickshawallas are generally a few teeth short
of a full smile, and as a result, they tend to drool out of their
gaps. Paanwallas, on the other hand, chew tobacco, so they too are
never short of spittle.
However, turning tricks at Rs. 10 a pop in some shack is hardly what
one would call a smart endeavor. Even in the US, the paanwallas make
about $0.50 profit per paan, so that's about Rs. 18 right there.
Instead, you'd be better off finding some wealthy divorcee with an
Indian fetish - worked for one local "businessman". He's "retired"
now, I believe.
[ baby seals ]
|>> die! At least it is amusing to watch them being clubbed. And as everybody
|>> knows, all the animals are for our amusement (its written in the Bible and
|>> Bible is the word of God!).
|>
|>I am glad that we managed to legitimise that with the great caveat in the
|>sky, my Canadian friends will be very pleased!
Well, your New Zealand friends will be even more pleased to know that
the Bible has declared that all animals exist solely for their
amusement. Now, the business of buying trinkets and other jewelry
items for sheep can take place openly in the bazaars, rather than
behind closed doors.
|>and he's right. It says so in Black and White dammit!! Which reminds me,
|>how is the National Inquirer these days?
Well, it seems to have carried an item about Deepak Chopra and a girl
from an "escort service", if you know what I mean...
|>> Gee...I would love to but it is explicitly forbidden in my religion so I
|>> just can't! Your hair should be dry by now, right??
|>>
|>My hair is dry now but I'm "painting my nails tonight" so maybe some
|>other time?
Been there, done that. What next? Personally, I'm in the process of
redoing the car using a special enamel paint which can only be applied
using a q-tip.
|>how about Aryan Nation Mountain Retreat and Rifle Range? After all we are
|>Aryans!
Yes, and as soon as we start making our way up the mountain, all of
those guns pointed towards us will be in offering, right?
|>> Plus, I am gonna need some holy-looking people for the
|>> commercials. Anyone want to audition??
|>
|>have you asked Meera?
Holy, not holier-than-thou...
|>I think the divorce went through, so Winnie-never had no one
|>killed-Mandela is out of the loop.
Yeah, and she's now free to coach her "soccer team" in her copious
spare time. Odd how a political strongwoman found the time to coach
her soccer team while those teenage boys were being dropped on their
heads, eh?
|>Nelson is accompanied on foriegn trips
|>by his daughter, which is sort of remeniscent of Jawaharlal Nehru and
|>Indira. However, unlike the Indian parallel, Ms Mandela is a babe.
I did a double take on that before realizing that you were referring
to the daughter. For a second, I thought you'd succumbed to Mad Cow
Disease.
|>true enough, i have been known to attack battle tanks armed only with a
|>copy of Proust. (See, macho and sensitive all in one go!).
Proust? No wonder - once you put the tank driver to sleep with that
verbiage, then you can proceed to use its heft to bludgeon him to
death. I would have been far more impressed had you used something
more slender - anything come to mind?
|>but Bobby! I was speaking in the Northern Kalahari dialect!!! I didn't
|>realise you were dealing with the Namibian variant!!!??
Ah, neither of you are familiar with the click languages, I see, since
the accepted transliteration for the click sound is a single
exclamation point where the click occurs. So, how does one try to show
excitedness in transliterated click languages, I wonder? Alas, I ended
my training in ethnic anthropology too soon, I see.
|>> (ooops...I hope I didn't blow your cover!...thankfully, the sheep can't
|>> read so you always have something to fall back on! :))
|>
|>yeah, blowing my cover is even worse than blowing strawberries
or sheep?
|>> BTW, I REALLY am more of a lost cause than he is!! :) Definitely, much,
|>> much more lost! :) Comparing to me, he is saved and destined to heaven
Of course - after all, he did go to the ashram for an extended stay
about a year ago, right?
|>but Bobby, this only works if you have a lost and haunted little boy look,
|>in which case its a dead cert! Hope you've got a leather jacket too?
Not lost, aim for clueless. Confuse multisyllabic words - the women
dig it.
|>> christian heaven seems kinda dull comparing to that...no offense to any
|>> Christians...I think that explains why Christianity never really caught on
|>> in India...but I see I am digressing...).
|>>
|>all that guilt and suffering and blood? - Indian festivals make for
|>better parties anytime : )
Plus, you ever try dancing to Gregorian chants? The total lack of a
beat sort of makes it a hard proposition...
-Vivek
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-17079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
> However, there was plently of smart Indian male clothing on view in this
> film!! (At last we have a link back!!)
So what the hell is this film about? And was this Indian male clothing on
display anywhere other than India, and if so, was it a special occasion?
tThat is, are Indian actors braver than Indian men in general when it
comes to dressing ethnically?
>
> Dilwale Daulat Le Jayenge : )
Que?? No hablo estas lenguas curiosas extranjeras. Hablame en cristiano,
hombre!
Daulat Sen
In article <4smrgc$n...@news.service.uci.edu>,
eab...@aldebaran.oac.uci.edu (Bobby Singh) wrote:
>
> I'm not big on indian movies but if I remember correctly she was in 'Mr.
> India', right? She is quite pretty but if she is a living emodiment of an
> apsra then you have NO chance of getting her. Let's face it...apsras were/are
> mostly for the entertainment of gods. Only those mortals get them who meditate
> so much the Lord Indra starts worrying that they are after his throne or
> something so he sends apsras to distract them. You just don't seem that big
> of a threat to Indra! :)
no, but if I could just persuade him that I am the conduit of all the
rakshashas spewing forth into the world, then surely he could spare me
around six apsaras to calm me down and stop me spewing forth?
>
Bobby > >> Guess I missed the slam dunk...what can I say...it was a bad
pass!! :)
Daulat > >Yes, it was on a par with one of the Rectum Raiders passing the
soap and
> >dropping it
>
Bobby > That actually may not be construed as a bad pass depending on which team
> you are playing on! :)
>
there are some sports that my curiosity does not extend to.
Soap-in-the-shower and bungee jumping being amongst them.
> >let you have Madhuri Devi for this role, she is mine, always will be mine
> >and I will happily precipitate nuclear holocaust to prevent any other man
> >ever getting near her!!! (Atleast thats what the guy who runs the Madhuri
> >Image web site says!) I would never say such a thing.
>
> umm...isn't she like engaged or something to some rich industrialist?? And I
> have a feeling this ain't no arranged marriage type of engagement...I think
> the couple has been quite close already...close enough to touch....
>
I dont want to hear any of this defeatist slime!! I have not given up
yet!! She will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine!!
>
> [experiment with bhavani purely for the sake of science]
> >thats true ... ok, I'll do it if you guys can club together and give me
> >adequate funding
> >>
>
> How much funding do you consider adequate?? You could prob. get more if you
> are willing to take it in rupees!
>
that may be the case, but i suspect that Bhavani-ji will not accept Rupees.
>
>
> >It says in the Upanishads that "the sons of Indra, resplendant on their
> >chariots, eyes aflame with great Surya's radiance shall abstain from
> >creatures that bring forth wool in all manner of activities". Sorry, can'
> >t help you.
>
> But you said you had plenty of experience with sheep (and not with indian
> women, remember?)...but surely you don't contradict yourself...so let me
> guess...that was before the religious conversion?? orr what??
>
all my relationships with sheep have been purely platonic - as indeed have
my relationships with indian women - or any women for that matter - in
case any uncle's and auntie-ji's are reading this newsgroup!!!
Daulat > >there is one draw back. The customer base is likely to be the
> >rickshawallas and paanwallas of Allahabad. Do I suddenly detect a drop in
> >the salivation level?
>
Bobby > well I wasn't salivating in the first place so I'll let someone
else answer
> this question. On an aside note, just wondering if there are any rickshawallis
> and paanwallis in Allahabad??
>
Paanwalis - yes, rickshawalis - unlikely
>
>
> >[strange chinese food]
> >> Whenever I hear about things like that, I take another step towards being
> >> a vegetarian! I really think I am gonna do it soon.
> >no, no you must resist. atleast for the sake of the children!!
>
> How is that now?? Whose children?
I dont know - but they say it a lot in Hindi movies
>
Daulat > >> >Having tried to read "120 days in Sodom" I think I shall
refrain from
Bobby > >> Can't say I've had the pleasure. Is it out on video? :)
> >
Daulat> >I sincerely hope not.
>
Bobby> What about Cliff notes?? Or illustrated comic version??
>
ummm ... I think some of the Japanese comics have come close, but
ultimately this is not a genre I wish to explore in any depth - unless of
course you wish to meet the Bishop and the Duke and their Bull's pizzle.
>
>
Daulat> >My hair is dry now but I'm "painting my nails tonight" so maybe
some other time?
>
Bobby> oh boy, you painting your nails, friday night approaching...just
how badly
> do you need to make money?? :)
>
I have forsaken material wealth for myself - I merely amass wealth so that
my wife - when she arrives to bless my blighted life, can go and buy
herself diamonds whenever she choses. It is my duty to provide her with
the means to do so.
> >
> >> Plus, I am gonna need some holy-looking people for the
> >> commercials. Anyone want to audition??
> >
> >have you asked Meera?
>
> How do you know she is holy looking??
umm ... err ..... well .... maybe I've already made my teerth yatra?
> PS I will aske her but I think you should recommend the ashram first to her.
> I'm sure she is likely to listen and respect your recommendation.
>
I am sure she will too. Actually a while back I did post saying that she
should become our Mata-ji and we set up an ashram - only 3 people
responded to that.
Daulat > >true enough, i have been known to attack battle tanks armed only
with a
> >copy of Proust. (See, macho and sensitive all in one go!). So Lebed
> >poses no threats to me! Phah! I spit on his Spetznaz commando's!
>
Bobby> Now which copy of Proust are you talking about?? May be you should tell
> Meera to get the same kind...in light of her unfortunate incidence while
> jogging...
>
oh? What unfortunate incident would that be? Not more aggrevated
jogger's nipple surely?
>
>
Bobby > >>You know, women just love to hear this...they totally love
> >> a challenge...they love the whole "I'll make him happy and optimistic
again"
> >> thing
Daulat> >or the "I'll break him, I'll be the one he whimpers to, you'll
see!" routine.
>
Bobby> so they are in a win-win situation! :)
>
Lesson 1 of enlightenment : Women will always win, no matter what you do,
they will always win. So, make it easy on yourself and accept it early. :
)
Daulat> >yeah, blowing my cover is even worse than blowing strawberries
>
Bobby > I ate some strawberries today...i forgot to blow them
though...next time...
>
phew! I had a slice of pinapple with my Pina Colada last night - thank
God I forgot to blow it!!!!!
>
> [me being lost cause]
> >but Bobby, this only works if you have a lost and haunted little boy look,
>
> I can do that!
>
there must be women all over you!!!
> >in which case its a dead cert! Hope you've got a leather jacket too?
>
> I actually do have the jacket. Bought it for my motorcycle riding. Already
> sold the bike but still got the jacket! Who knew it would come in so handy!
>
it only works if you look lost, not if you look like a thug - though there
are some girls who go for that too
Daulat > >all that guilt and suffering and blood? - Indian festivals make for
> >better parties anytime : )
>
Bobby> Though Christianity definitely has potential...only if they would
give out
> straight vodka shots instead of wine in church...
>
or at least Vodka jelly?
Daulat
Daulat Sen
Vivek wrote :
>Like that General whatshisname, you know, the one who left the
>Phillipines, I have returned.
ah yes Bataan, Corrigador, Guadalcanal ... but like him are you proposing
to cross the Yalu River northwards or to nuke Beijing in the greater
interest of democracy, crumbly candy bars and Doris Day movies? I
understand that his idea for liberating Berlin involved an armoured thrust
from the East, starting in Korea ofcourse.
>but if you try to have a congress with a Filipino babe, you get 40 lashes,
>sort of like they do chewing gum in that country, whatever it was.
YouÄ…re thinking of Schwingapore, after all, the Schwingapore Girl, is Å‚a
great way to flyË›. And its true - though no one ever tells you that about
a third of Singapore Girls are infact boys. As far as I know you dont get
lashed for Filipinas, its normally extra. Atleast so my friend who
frequented bars around Subic Bay used to say.
In article <dsen-16079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
ah yes ... the plot! What was it now? Something about Indian men wearing
Indian clothes? Nah, thatÄ…d never happen!!
[Californian man indecently proposes to Daulat in Madras]
>As soon as he said California, that should've been your first warning.
I had actually figured it out before he even opened his mouth. It was my
fault for wearing those shorts I guess, slut that I am. I dunno, this
contributary negligence is such a terrible thing!!
[Keanu is straight really]
>Speaking of which, he turned down $11 million and another shot at
>Sandra Bullock so that he could go touring with his band, Dogstar.
Dude, when youÄ…re a rockÄ…nÄ…rolla on the road, you can get way more chix
than just Sandra Bullock, like theyÄ…re totally all over the place!
Daulat |>but then I suddenly accidentally on purpose began to notice the
extremely
|>large breasts on the temple carving apsara babes - much to his
|>dissapointment.
Vivek >What disappointed him - their proportions or your noticing them?
I think the latter, because he was avidly showing me the male statues with
erections - which I must admit was a little surprising for Tamillian
temple architecture - atleast from the Chola period, but luckily not
enough to divert my attention from that very cute Bank clerk babe from
Mysore who was also on our tour. Our eyes met a few times, but California
man kept getting in the way and ruined the start of what could have been a
beautiful friendship! Oh well.
Vivek : >Some men just don't go for the Indian ideal woman, you know?
does not compute, does not compute ... error, error, error, please try again.
Vivek : >I knew a Chinese girl here at Rice who was shaped like the
aforementioned
> apsaras,
and you didnÄ…t call me!!!!!!????? After all this time!!!! I am very
dissapointed.
> and though she had a host of other flaws (annoying personality, annoying
>annoying personality, and a few other things), there was always a line
>10-deep of Chinese guys fawning all over her.
Vivek, honestly! You should know by now that women can overcome terrible
personalities with amazing figures - it works for 95% of them 99% of the
time. But what that statistic truly reveals is the total stupidity of
men.
Daulat : |>Curiously, Sridevi is supposed to be a living embodiment of the
temple
|>carving Apsara babes - any thoughts?
Vivek : >Yes, lots of thoughts, but mostly on high-speed communication systems
>these days. Haven't seen a movie in ages.
I would like to communicate with Sridevi using high speed systems, does
that help?
|[BobbyÄ…s advice on avoiding dangerous situations with the Rectum Raiders]
[DaulatÄ…s views on leaving the Khyber Pass to experts]
Vivek : >Yes, and it's not for the first-time traveler either. If you read some
>of those old British journals, you will find that many men died in
>accidents when they were going up the Khyber Pass. Usually, there was
>a sudden rush of animals, and they got stampeded from behind.
nasty, very nasty. Other times, they were stampeded by Alexander the
Great, but not that heÄ…s anything like Keanu Reeves of course.
|>[Professional Guli-Danda]
Bobby |>> you know, the whole size thing! :)
Daulat |>no, what size thing?
Vivek : The person with the largest and most flamboyant Dandias always gets
>the most attention come Navratri. Of course, some women don't like the
>guys who are real show-offs when they go around hitting their sticks
>with anything that moves.
I hope that these days, the Indian communities are getting hip and using
adequate protection before flailing their dandias at all and sundry?
[eating and migratory habits of wildebeest being weird]
Vivek : >Not so weird after all. Just observer the subculture known as
>"pothead". They sit around all day smoking grass, then all of the
>sudden, one of them will get the munchies, and for two days, they run
>around the neighborhood looking for Doritos.
ah yes, I have observed them. I once tracked a whole herd of ferocious
potheads across the wide open plains of the Serengeti, braving flashfloods
and Lions and other big pussies. At journeyÄ…s end I could not remember
why I had started but found the great Dorito mountain and paid homage to
the great purple haze sky god. It was like totally out of this world
man. Where am I again?
Vivek : The guys here sit around all day arguing how many female Wildebeests
>they each get? No, I think you're confusing acuai with still under
>discussion soc.support.zoophilia (I kid you not). There you will
>surely find discussions of how two friends should divvy up a bevy of
>Wildebeest.
I worry about you sometimes Vivek, any fool knows that the guy who wins
the headbutting contest gets to keep all the females in his harem!!!
[Asian newscasters on either side of the Atlantic]
>Pretty interesting. I hear there is a female Indian newsperson
>somewhere in the Northest US, but that's the only one I know. What's
>interesting to note, beyond just the racial aspect, is the gender
>thing. Simply put, Connie Chung is not a man.
I think thats a bit too simply put - you will have lost the majority of
our fellow readers I fear. You just have to face the fact that Asian
women are far more able to secure jobs in the media than Asian men on
grounds of merit and merit alone.
>I haven't seen a single Asian male in newsreporting, well, unless you
>include George Takei as Sulu in the original Star Trek series.
mind you, he was cooler than most, so maybe in the light of positive
discrimination, he had used up all the Asian Male credits available and so
the others have to wait longer?
Vivek : [about the black lesbian singer]
>"Leviticus: Faggot". I wanted to see exactly what she would perform on
>Letterman, and to my surprise, she performed something else. Gee, I
>wonder why?
Well, I am sure that Mom and Pop in Pitchfork Junction, Idaho, donÄ…t want
faggots shoved down their throats at certain times of the evening. I know
I donÄ…t.
Vivek : >Incidentally, she was the one whose first song was "If that's you
>boyfriend (he wasn't last night)." Black women were angry that she was
>singing about stealing someone else's boyfriend, an act which is
>apparently frowned upon,
dont know about you, but I never steal anyoneÄ…s boyfriend. I think its a
mean and nasty thing to do, but if you do steal one, make sure to put it
back where you found it.
>and homosexuals were angry that she was
>pretending to be straight.
Well, I pretend to be Indian according to some people. I also pretend to
be white according to other people. So it just goes to show that you cant
please all the people all of the time - unless ofcourse your name is
Meera, or Jay Stevens.
Bobby : |>> English have always been the cruel ones...just think what they
did to our
|>> ancestors! Indians, the sheep...God, when will the chain of their cruelty
|>> break??!!
Vivek : >Indians, the sheep? Sure, some of our ancestors were meek, but I don't
>think the British exactly sheared them for their wool.
no, the taxation system was far more adept at fleecing the populace, aided
and abetted by the zamindari system. I still blame Mir Jafar, though I
suppose we really ought to blame Shah Jehan for granting the English use
of the landing ground on the Hooghly at KaliKata way back when. But then
he wasnt to know his drinking cup would end up in the Victoria & Albert
Museum in London when he did it, so ...
Vivek : >Besides, it's a
>commonly known fact that the German residents of Argentina have far
>more back hair than Indian men. This is why you always see South
>American cowboys, though there aren't any cattle in South America -
>they watch over herds of displaced Germans.
oh, I thought it was cos they were mostly escaped NaziÄ…s who grew beards
so that no one would recognise them. I knew this Columbian girl whose
father was German - she was always very reticent to talk about family
history ... something about Doctors and experiments and little brown boys
with blue eyes and clones and ... I kinda lost it after that. Either way,
you dont want to get these gauchoÄ…s boloÄ…s in a twist.
[ sheep and fantasies, I think ]
Daulat : |>thats true ... ok, I'll do it if you guys can club together and
give me
|>adequate funding
Vivek : >To buy a sheep? What's the going rate?
well according to my trusty guide on Central Asian customs, it says the
conversion rate is : 20 Sheep to an Ass. 5 Asses to a Bullock. 3
Bullocks to a Horse, 5 Horses to a Camel, 10 Camels to a Wife, and 2 Wives
to a Rifle. Can we work back from the current price of a rifle?
Daulat : ||>It says in the Upanishads that "the sons of Indra, resplendant
on their
|>chariots, eyes aflame with great Surya's radiance shall abstain from
|>creatures that bring forth wool in all manner of activities". Sorry,
|>can't help you.
Vivek : >Ah, yes, this must have been one of the texts you studied while you
>were on that extended ashram visit atoning for our collective sins.
thats right, but my memory aint what it used to be. Every now and again I
need to go for top ups to the ashram cos my spirtualism seems to fade
away. Besides, it takes a lot of effort to get Great SuryaÄ…s radiance to
emanate from my eyes these days.
Bobby : [turning 10 Rs tricks appealing to men?]
Daulat : |>there is one draw back. The customer base is likely to be the
|>rickshawallas and paanwallas of Allahabad. Do I suddenly detect a drop in
|>the salivation level?
Vivek : >Whose salivation level? Rickshawallas are generally a few teeth short
>of a full smile, and as a result, they tend to drool out of their
>gaps. Paanwallas, on the other hand, chew tobacco, so they too are
>never short of spittle.
You know Vivek, if there were any people contemplating this career move,
youÄ…ve probably convinced them against it for good now.
Vivek : >However, turning tricks at Rs. 10 a pop in some shack is hardly what
>one would call a smart endeavor. Even in the US, the paanwallas make
>about $0.50 profit per paan, so that's about Rs. 18 right there.
so what youÄ…re really saying is that the Purchasing Power Parity rule
doesnt appear to hold in this instance? Many economists will be mightily
displeased.
Daulat |>how is the National Inquirer these days?
>Well, it seems to have carried an item about Deepak Chopra and a girl
>from an "escort service", if you know what I mean...
no I donÄ…t, and who is Deepak Chopra?
Daulat : |>how about Aryan Nation Mountain Retreat and Rifle Range? After
all we are
|>Aryans!
>Yes, and as soon as we start making our way up the mountain, all of
>those guns pointed towards us will be in offering, right?
I am sure that once they understand we are brothers under the skin, they
will welcome us with open arms and love us to bits. Afterall, we shall
have great SuryaÄ…s radiance about our noble persons, no?
Bobby : |>> Plus, I am gonna need some holy-looking people for the
|>> commercials. Anyone want to audition??
|>
Daulat : |>have you asked Meera?
Vivek : >Holy, not holier-than-thou...
no, I think that was supposed to be me. I am thinking of embarking on a
teerth yatra to Southern California to pay my respects to Meera-ji.
Anyone wanna join me?
[Winnie Mandela]
>Yeah, and she's now free to coach her "soccer team" in her copious
>spare time. Odd how a political strongwoman found the time to coach
>her soccer team while those teenage boys were being dropped on their
>heads, eh?
well, those chaps in the soccer team used to train in their spare time as
Å‚security personnelË› so I guess thats ok - personally, if little Stompie
Maketzie (if I remember right) Å‚talkedË› to the blankes politzie, he needed
a little bouncing, comerade. The price of the life of a black street kid
in JoÄ…burg hasnt really gone up much over the years. Judging by current
trends, it aint gonna either.
Daulat : |>Indira. However, unlike the Indian parallel, Ms Mandela is a babe.
Vivek : >I did a double take on that before realizing that you were referring
>to the daughter.
I read it again too and found no inconsistency. Suggests to me that you
have a repressed fascination with Nelson Mandela, confess now and be
pardoned.
>For a second, I thought you'd succumbed to Mad Cow
>Disease.
Mooooooooooooooooi? Never!
Daulat : |>true enough, i have been known to attack battle tanks armed
only with a
|>copy of Proust. (See, macho and sensitive all in one go!).
Vivek : >Proust? No wonder - once you put the tank driver to sleep with that
>verbiage, then you can proceed to use its heft to bludgeon him to
>death. I would have been far more impressed had you used something
>more slender - anything come to mind?
Actually I think it was my exercise book. When I was at school in Delhi,
there used to be a T-62 battle tank shot up by the IAF in the playground -
me and my merry bunch of chums (Ranjan, Sandeep, Ashutosh, & Devanand)
would do commando assaults on it during lunchtimes ... ahh those were the
days!!
And i must confess, I have never read Proust, there is no poetry in my life.
(look Bobby, another great line!!!)
[bushmen languages]
Vivek : excitedness in transliterated click languages, I wonder? Alas, I ended
>my training in ethnic anthropology too soon, I see.
yes you did, I was looking forward to a detailed treatise on the subject.
Bobby : |>> (ooops...I hope I didn't blow your cover!...thankfully, the
sheep can't
|>> read so you always have something to fall back on! :))
|>
Daulat : |>yeah, blowing my cover is even worse than blowing strawberries
Vivek : >or sheep?
actually sheep get this condition where they get gas trapped inside them
and they start to inflate like a balloon and get blown up. Poor things.
What you have to do then is to make a small incision with a penknife
beneath their rib cages and let them deflate, doesnt seem to harm them
otherwise. Under the circumstances, IÄ…d go for the strawberries.
Bobby : |>> BTW, I REALLY am more of a lost cause than he is!! :)
Definitely, much,
|>> much more lost! :) Comparing to me, he is saved and destined to heaven
Vivek : >Of course - after all, he did go to the ashram for an extended stay
>about a year ago, right?
Yes I did, would you like some Vibhuti? Its quite fresh.
Daulat : |>but Bobby, this only works if you have a lost and haunted
little boy look,
|>in which case its a dead cert! Hope you've got a leather jacket too?
Vivek : >Not lost, aim for clueless. Confuse multisyllabic words - the women
>dig it.
always have a packet of Camel cigarettes handy too - dont have to smoke
em, just keep em around, and a Zippo. Always impresses em. Carry a book
of poems around if you can - thats if none of the other guys beats you up
first.
Bobby : [Christianity not catching on in India]
Daulat : |>all that guilt and suffering and blood? - Indian festivals make for
|>better parties anytime : )
Vivek : Plus, you ever try dancing to Gregorian chants? The total lack of a
>beat sort of makes it a hard proposition...
hey, it worked for Morrisey, donÄ…t knock it! Although we dont like him
anymore cos he flirted with the whole Nazi look thing.
Daulat
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-16079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>[rectum raiders - the ice hockey team]
>luckily I was able to avoid this situation. It actually happened to me on
>a bus in Madras. The Californian gentleman did infact suggest I get a lot
>more friendly with him over "beer and massage" at the Chola Sheraton
>after our journey. Since at that stage I was sleeping in Youth Hostels
>and eating for 5 Rs a night, I was quite tempted to join him for a drink -
>but then I suddenly accidentally on purpose began to notice the extremely
>large breasts on the temple carving apsara babes - much to his
And yet you accuse ME of treating them as a piece of meat??? Talk about the
pot calling the cattle black!!
>dissapointment. Oh well, looks like I missed out on a free meal there!
>Curiously, Sridevi is supposed to be a living embodiment of the temple
>carving Apsara babes - any thoughts?
I'm not big on indian movies but if I remember correctly she was in 'Mr.
India', right? She is quite pretty but if she is a living emodiment of an
apsra then you have NO chance of getting her. Let's face it...apsras were/are
mostly for the entertainment of gods. Only those mortals get them who meditate
so much the Lord Indra starts worrying that they are after his throne or
something so he sends apsras to distract them. You just don't seem that big
of a threat to Indra! :)
>
>I am fairly adventurous, but as in previous conversations with Vivek have
>revealed, in my opinion, voyaging up the Khyber Pass is strictly for those
>with an extremely strong interest in the matter. Happy though I am to
>visit Afganistan, I shall leave delving in the chutney cupboard to the
>professionals.
ok...but in case you change your mind, make sure to NOT tell me! Not that
there is anything wrong with it...but there are somethings that I just
don't need to know.
>>
>[Professional Guli-Danda]
>no, what size thing?
well, danda is much larger than the guli...and one uses the danda to hit the
guli and control its path...in other words, danda is in charge...clearly most
would want to associate with it...guli is just the recipient...
>> his sensitive and intellectual side...brawn and brain...you'll have the
>> best of both worlds!!
>the ground and break their necks. I've ridden a mechanical Bull, must be
>just the same!?!??!
can't say I've had any expereince riding mechanical things so I'll take your
word for it.
>> Guess I missed the slam dunk...what can I say...it was a bad pass!! :)
>Yes, it was on a par with one of the Rectum Raiders passing the soap and
>dropping it
That actually may not be construed as a bad pass depending on which team
you are playing on! :)
[video collection]
>Yes it is pretty legendary I must say! Though it must be said that its
>all done in the best possible taste. Salman Khan and Juhi Chawla will be
>playing the lead roles, hope that works for you? I'm sorry but I can't
Sure, that could work...though in present day and age it behooves you to be
multi-cultural and have some western actors and actresses in it...may I
nominate Irene Jacob or Emmanuelle Beart?
>let you have Madhuri Devi for this role, she is mine, always will be mine
>and I will happily precipitate nuclear holocaust to prevent any other man
>ever getting near her!!! (Atleast thats what the guy who runs the Madhuri
>Image web site says!) I would never say such a thing.
umm...isn't she like engaged or something to some rich industrialist?? And I
have a feeling this ain't no arranged marriage type of engagement...I think
the couple has been quite close already...close enough to touch....
>> But asians aren't "real" minorities you know as far as showing them on TV
>> is concerend. Every newscast team has at least one female asian. It the
>> rule!
>ah hah! More tokenism? Or is this positive discrimination? British TV
I think its just an amazing coincidence!
>on the other hand has no East Asian newscasters. There are however, Lisa
>Aziz, Gargi Patel, Anya Sitaram, Daljit Kaur Dhaliwal, George Allegiah,
>and that other chap whose name escapes me on prime time national news
>programs.
Hey thats even better...in case you ever want to change your career, you have
another option!!
>My goodness, someone who watches TV religiously? Don't you go out or anything?
well I am an atheist by religion so when I say I watch TV religiously, take it
for what its worth! :) As for doing anyything else, being a poor student it
all depends on the cash flow from my parents...mostly the flow is just a
trickle, once in a while its pretty good though....
>however in the words of the great Chairman Mao - "It is better to live one
>day as a Tiger than a thousand as a Sheep"
Easy for the chairman to say, being in the postion that he was in...though
I daresay, it was to his benefit that most ppl live like sheep, and not like
tiger...
[english chain of cruelty]
>it wont, but the real cruelty is agricultural college itself. Thats where
>the not so bright offspring of middle class rural families go, the one's
>who couldn't quite make it into University, any University. They all end
>up voting Conservative too (Maggie Thatchler to you) - which probably
>explains a lot.
>>
hmm...here in US farmers tend to vote democrat cause they support the subsdies
at least they use to...
[experiment with bhavani purely for the sake of science]
>thats true ... ok, I'll do it if you guys can club together and give me
>adequate funding
>>
How much funding do you consider adequate?? You could prob. get more if you
are willing to take it in rupees!
>It says in the Upanishads that "the sons of Indra, resplendant on their
>chariots, eyes aflame with great Surya's radiance shall abstain from
>creatures that bring forth wool in all manner of activities". Sorry, can'
>t help you.
But you said you had plenty of experience with sheep (and not with indian
women, remember?)...but surely you don't contradict yourself...so let me
guess...that was before the religious conversion?? orr what??
>> you know, most guys don't really see this as a problem...in fact, I bet
>> some guys reading this right now are fantasizing about this! :)
>>
>there is one draw back. The customer base is likely to be the
>rickshawallas and paanwallas of Allahabad. Do I suddenly detect a drop in
>the salivation level?
well I wasn't salivating in the first place so I'll let someone else answer
this question. On an aside note, just wondering if there are any rickshawallis
and paanwallis in Allahabad??
>[strange chinese food]
>> Whenever I hear about things like that, I take another step towards being
>> a vegetarian! I really think I am gonna do it soon.
>no, no you must resist. atleast for the sake of the children!!
How is that now?? Whose children?
[making fun of white ppl] [which, btw, something I would never do on the
account that most of my best friends are honk..err..white]
>thin ice there pal, I can see the righteous rise and condemn you to hell
>there!!!! : )
luckily, there are no righteous ppl reading this newsgrp! whew!!
>I am glad that we managed to legitimise that with the great caveat in the
>sky, my Canadian friends will be very pleased!
aah canadians are pretty easy to please anyway. They are pretty happy ppl
in general...i've only managed to piss off my canadian friends when I say
things like "you do realize that just the city of los angeles could take
your whole country over if it wanted to!"...man, they have no sense of humor...
not thats its a joke...LA probably could but its like relax, who would want
to take over a piece of ice anyway...
[Bible]
>and he's right. It says so in Black and White dammit!! Which reminds me,
>how is the National Inquirer these days?
The last issue had a picture, taken seceretly of course, of God dictating
the Bible to St. John (or whomever...I forget!)...and I hate to break the
news to all the sexist guys on the nesgrp, according to the picture, God
isn't a man after all!
>> >Having tried to read "120 days in Sodom" I think I shall refrain from
>> Can't say I've had the pleasure. Is it out on video? :)
>
>I sincerely hope not.
What about Cliff notes?? Or illustrated comic version??
>My hair is dry now but I'm "painting my nails tonight" so maybe some other time?
oh boy, you painting your nails, friday night approaching...just how badly
do you need to make money?? :)
>[bobby's ashram]
>how about Aryan Nation Mountain Retreat and Rifle Range? After all we are
>Aryans!
Hmm...I don't think thats a very wise name considering all the PC going on...
of course, we are not racist or anything but you know ppl are going to get
the wrong idea with this name. Can you think of anything else??
>
>> Plus, I am gonna need some holy-looking people for the
>> commercials. Anyone want to audition??
>
>have you asked Meera?
How do you know she is holy looking??
PS I will aske her but I think you should recommend the ashram first to her.
I'm sure she is likely to listen and respect your recommendation.
[mndelas]
>I think the divorce went through, so Winnie-never had no one
>killed-Mandela is out of the loop. Nelson is accompanied on foriegn trips
>by his daughter, which is sort of remeniscent of Jawaharlal Nehru and
>Indira. However, unlike the Indian parallel, Ms Mandela is a babe.
Let's hope she dies a natural death at least!
>> But surely, a macho wildebeast hunting caveman such as yourself is not
>> afraid a puny T-82 battle tank!
>>
>true enough, i have been known to attack battle tanks armed only with a
>copy of Proust. (See, macho and sensitive all in one go!). So Lebed
>poses no threats to me! Phah! I spit on his Spetznaz commando's!
Now which copy of Proust are you talking about?? May be you should tell
Meera to get the same kind...in light of her unfortunate incidence while
jogging...
[bushmen dialect]
>but Bobby! I was speaking in the Northern Kalahari dialect!!! I didn't
>realise you were dealing with the Namibian variant!!!??
aaah...I stand corrected...you laeran something new everyday!!
>>You know, women just love to hear this...they totally love
>> a challenge...they love the whole "I'll make him happy and optimistic again"
>> thing
>or the "I'll break him, I'll be the one he whimpers to, you'll see!" routine.
so they are in a win-win situation! :)
>>...I am very impressed...now sit back and watch the invitations
>> roll in...:)
>5 overnight - more expected soon.
very good...just don't be too greedy...pick one and settle down...
>yeah, blowing my cover is even worse than blowing strawberries
I ate some strawberries today...i forgot to blow them though...next time...
[me being lost cause]
>but Bobby, this only works if you have a lost and haunted little boy look,
I can do that!
>in which case its a dead cert! Hope you've got a leather jacket too?
I actually do have the jacket. Bought it for my motorcycle riding. Already
sold the bike but still got the jacket! Who knew it would come in so handy!
>> (I mean
>> the indian version of heaven where apsras dance for you and you get really
>> good wine...well I assume it is good since the gods drink it!
>
>you sexist bastard!!! how dare you accuse our heaven of being such a male
>chauvanist bastion?!!!!?!?! I am disgusted by you labelling all our
>apsaras as pieces of meat!!!
Now...now...now...lets not be twisting my words around....of course everyone
knows there are devis as well as devtas in heaven...so there fore I am sure
there are male apsras for their amusement...and if you read my words you'll
note I never said there were only female ones!!...so my friend, since you
jumped to this conclusion, I think YOU are the sexist one...but i think
you have already admitted as much and working on improving yourself, so I
forgive you and I hope all the ladies do too...
>all that guilt and suffering and blood? - Indian festivals make for
>better parties anytime : )
Though Christianity definitely has potential...only if they would give out
straight vodka shots instead of wine in church...
Bobby Singh
_____________________________________________________________________________
Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable... --Depeche Mode 'Enjoy the silence'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-19079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>In article <4smrgc$n...@news.service.uci.edu>,
>eab...@aldebaran.oac.uci.edu (Bobby Singh) wrote:
>
>no, but if I could just persuade him that I am the conduit of all the
>rakshashas spewing forth into the world, then surely he could spare me
>around six apsaras to calm me down and stop me spewing forth?
And how do you plan to persuade him?? BTW, why six and not seven?? Are you
telling me you are so old that you need a day off every week? :)
>there are some sports that my curiosity does not extend to.
>Soap-in-the-shower and bungee jumping being amongst them.
I've never participated in either one myself...but depending on my teammates,
I could be willing to do so!
[Maduri's engagement]
>I dont want to hear any of this defeatist slime!! I have not given up
>yet!! She will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine!!
Thats the attitude!! Never give up!! Hell you can wait as long as it takes!
BTW, you aren't in a rush to get married, are you?? The wait may be a little
bit on the long side...
[funding for scientific research with Bhavani]
>that may be the case, but i suspect that Bhavani-ji will not accept Rupees.
May be you ought to try the barter system. I'm sure you could offer her
something for her willingness to participate in our scientific experiment.
>> But you said you had plenty of experience with sheep (and not with indian
>> women, remember?)...but surely you don't contradict yourself...so let me
>> guess...that was before the religious conversion?? orr what??
>>
>all my relationships with sheep have been purely platonic - as indeed have
>my relationships with indian women - or any women for that matter - in
>case any uncle's and auntie-ji's are reading this newsgroup!!!
hmm..."platonic"??? You'd be surprised how much ppl stretch the meaning of
this word. Of course, for me it involves discussing Plato but I have a feeling
thats not exactly what you mean! :)
>>
>> >[strange chinese food]
>> >> Whenever I hear about things like that, I take another step towards being
>> >> a vegetarian! I really think I am gonna do it soon.
>> >no, no you must resist. atleast for the sake of the children!!
>>
>> How is that now?? Whose children?
>
>I dont know - but they say it a lot in Hindi movies
oh, in that case, I won't do it!! Got to put children front of myself!
[120 days in sodom]
>ummm ... I think some of the Japanese comics have come close, but
>ultimately this is not a genre I wish to explore in any depth - unless of
>course you wish to meet the Bishop and the Duke and their Bull's pizzle.
Hmm...I am currently busy reading some Gogol and Vonnegut so I am gonna
have to pass on your very tempting offer.
[daulat's "part time" job to make extra bucks]
>I have forsaken material wealth for myself - I merely amass wealth so that
>my wife - when she arrives to bless my blighted life, can go and buy
>herself diamonds whenever she choses. It is my duty to provide her with
>the means to do so.
Thats very noble of you...providing for "your" woman. But if she is a
modern, liberated woman, what makes you think she'll need you to give
her money, or that she'll even accept it for that matter??
[Meera]
>> How do you know she is holy looking??
>umm ... err ..... well .... maybe I've already made my teerth yatra?
aaaahh...I see...you are a step ahead of most people than! Tell me, were you
enlightened?? Was your yatra a success??
>I am sure she will too. Actually a while back I did post saying that she
>should become our Mata-ji and we set up an ashram - only 3 people
>responded to that.
May be its time to make the suggestion again. Remember, never give up!
>Bobby> Now which copy of Proust are you talking about?? May be you should tell
>> Meera to get the same kind...in light of her unfortunate incidence while
>> jogging...
>>
>oh? What unfortunate incident would that be? Not more aggrevated
>jogger's nipple surely?
I meant the one when she was followed by a hispanic man while she was out
jogging. As for the possible aggrevation of nipples, I think you are much
more knowledgable to comment about that than me...having made the yatra
already!
>Lesson 1 of enlightenment : Women will always win, no matter what you do,
>they will always win. So, make it easy on yourself and accept it early. :
I believe you but jst wondering then how come so many women are complaining?
>> >but Bobby, this only works if you have a lost and haunted little boy look,
>>
>> I can do that!
>>
>there must be women all over you!!!
umm...if there are, they must be hiding very well! :) But I don't need women,
just one woman!...the right one you know....
>
>> >in which case its a dead cert! Hope you've got a leather jacket too?
>>
>> I actually do have the jacket. Bought it for my motorcycle riding. Already
>> sold the bike but still got the jacket! Who knew it would come in so handy!
>>
>it only works if you look lost, not if you look like a thug - though there
>are some girls who go for that too
no problem...I am much too small to look like a thug....and I always do have
a lost look cause to be honest I always DO get lost whenever I go to a new
area.
>
>Daulat > >all that guilt and suffering and blood? - Indian festivals make for
>> >better parties anytime : )
>>
>Bobby> Though Christianity definitely has potential...only if they would
>give out
>> straight vodka shots instead of wine in church...
>>
>or at least Vodka jelly?
sure...or for that matter, vodka in anyway...
Sorry it took me a while to get back...last few days I've been little busy...
I guess I have a social life after all! :) (hey, I am just as surprised as
you are!!)
Bobby Singh
_____________________________________________________________________________
Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable... --Depeche Mode, 'Enjoy the silence'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daulat Sen
In article <4t6dm9$7...@news.service.uci.edu>, eab...@taurus.oac.uci.edu
(Bobby Singh) wrote:
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
> [apsras reserved for those who are a threat to Indra]
> And how do you plan to persuade him?? BTW, why six and not seven?? Are you
> telling me you are so old that you need a day off every week? :)
>
no yaar, one always conjoins in sport with apsaras six at a time. I
intend to remain faithful to all six and sport with them every day ... or
until such time as i collapse - which would probably be withing the first
two seconds.
>
> >Soap-in-the-shower and bungee jumping being amongst them.
> I've never participated in either one myself...but depending on my teammates,
> I could be willing to do so!
>
remind me never to play team games with you!
>
> [Maduri's engagement]
> Thats the attitude!! Never give up!! Hell you can wait as long as it takes!
> BTW, you aren't in a rush to get married, are you?? The wait may be a little
> bit on the long side...
I will wait for her till the seas dry up and the earth crumbles ... she
will forever be the queen of my heart. Wait, I think I'll go kill
myself!!! Might be easier : )
>
> [funding for scientific research with Bhavani]
> >that may be the case, but i suspect that Bhavani-ji will not accept Rupees.
> May be you ought to try the barter system. I'm sure you could offer her
> something for her willingness to participate in our scientific experiment.
>
I wonder what she might find useful? Clean sheets perhaps? Rubber wear?
I dunno ... besides, where would I find an adequate supply of such
materials?
>
> hmm..."platonic"??? You'd be surprised how much ppl stretch the meaning of
> this word. Of course, for me it involves discussing Plato but I have a feeling
> thats not exactly what you mean! :)
I thought that it was the discussion of Pluto and other Disney characters?
> [120 days in sodom]
> Hmm...I am currently busy reading some Gogol and Vonnegut so I am gonna
> have to pass on your very tempting offer.
>
oh well ... your loss. Perhaps the good Marquis de Sade would care to
enlighten us directly? btw : I am told that "Indian chicks are into S&M
big time" ... the person who asked me this was looking for a confirmation,
sadly I have no data to enlighten him with ... any takers out there?
>
> [daulat's "part time" job to make extra bucks]
> >herself diamonds whenever she choses. It is my duty to provide her with
> >the means to do so.
>
> Thats very noble of you...providing for "your" woman. But if she is a
> modern, liberated woman, what makes you think she'll need you to give
> her money, or that she'll even accept it for that matter??
modern liberated women ... indeed. I hear a lot of talk about that - from
many modern liberated Indian women, however, they are always curious about
my income level and vehicular conveyance. I did ask ... apparently, its
not my money, its just knowing that I am "settled and comfortable", p.s.
could i buy them another drink please?
I wish I just had the money - atleast then i could get a car to amuse
myself and not someone else! : )
> [Meera]
> >> How do you know she is holy looking??
> >umm ... err ..... well .... maybe I've already made my teerth yatra?
> aaaahh...I see...you are a step ahead of most people than! Tell me, were you
> enlightened?? Was your yatra a success??
>
"I went looking for the Ocean ... and California got in the way ..."
paraphrased from "Rumble Fish" - I guess pretty much the same thing
happened to me!
and hey, I am always ahead of most people ... thats why they call me "way
out there"
>
>
> >I am sure she will too. Actually a while back I did post saying that she
> >should become our Mata-ji and we set up an ashram - only 3 people
> >responded to that.
> May be its time to make the suggestion again. Remember, never give up!
>
ok - how about we set up an ashram and have Meera-devi running it?
>
>
> >oh? What unfortunate incident would that be? Not more aggrevated
> >jogger's nipple surely?
> I meant the one when she was followed by a hispanic man while she was out
> jogging.
yes but he was probably asking her if she would like to see his new low
floor car chassis design
>As for the possible aggrevation of nipples, I think you are much
> more knowledgable to comment about that than me...having made the yatra
> already!
indeed, i once made a 10 mile charity run - the most abiding memory of
which is severe joggers nipple which stayed with me for days after wards.
Eventually I had to give it back to the jogger I got it from.
> >Lesson 1 of enlightenment : Women will always win, no matter what you do,
> >they will always win. So, make it easy on yourself and accept it early. :
> I believe you but jst wondering then how come so many women are complaining?
>
thats just part of their cunning plan to make you think that they arent
winning - just so that they can pull the double whammy on you later!!!
Once they figure out what makes you tick ... you are dead meat : ) What
you have to remember is that little girls learn how to totally control men
from a very early age. Daddy is the first victim. A colleague at work
was telling me that his 3 year old girl has learnt how to flutter her eye
lashes ... he gets all misty eyed and starts blubbing at this point and
says things like his heart melts and he buys her any toys she asks for ...
once this chick hits 16, armageddon.
>
>
> >> >but Bobby, this only works if you have a lost and haunted little boy look,
> >> I can do that!
> >there must be women all over you!!!
> umm...if there are, they must be hiding very well! :) But I don't need women,
> just one woman!...the right one you know....
>
yes, but one never finds the right one ... so make do with some wrong
ones? And dont worry, your parents arent reading this newsgroup, you can
confess all here!!!
>
> >
>
> Sorry it took me a while to get back...last few days I've been little busy...
> I guess I have a social life after all! :) (hey, I am just as surprised as
> you are!!)
my goodness, a social life?!??! Next thing you know you might start
talking about inter-racial dating again!?!?! : )
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-26079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>no yaar, one always conjoins in sport with apsaras six at a time. I
>intend to remain faithful to all six and sport with them every day ... or
>until such time as i collapse - which would probably be withing the first
>two seconds.
2 seconds!! Thats it!! hmm...The Holy Order of Hunting Cavemen will not be
pleased at your public display of weekness!! Your membership may be in
jeopardy. At least say 2 minutes!!
>> I've never participated in either one myself...but depending on my teammates,
>> I could be willing to do so!
>>
>remind me never to play team games with you!
:) Well you wouldn't pass the qualifying test anyway...wrong gender! :)
[waiting for Madhuri]
>I will wait for her till the seas dry up and the earth crumbles ... she
>will forever be the queen of my heart.
This is your brain on indian movies! Any questions?
> Wait, I think I'll go kill
>myself!!! Might be easier : )
Good...I mean, welcome back to reality. :)
[What bhavani wants]
>I wonder what she might find useful? Clean sheets perhaps? Rubber wear?
you mean Latex wear! Rubber just doesn't sound "professional".
>I dunno ... besides, where would I find an adequate supply of such
>materials?
umm...have you checked the bedroom closet?? I've heard a huge supply of these
things can often be found there.
>
>I thought that it was the discussion of Pluto and other Disney characters?
As long we are talking about Disney characters, just what the hell is Goofy??
He is not a dog, nor a donkey...but seems to be both....hmm...is it against
the law for dogs and donkeys to engage in reproductive processes?? Can't
charge them with bestiality I guess. i wonder....
>> [120 days in sodom]
>
>oh well ... your loss. Perhaps the good Marquis de Sade would care to
>enlighten us directly? btw : I am told that "Indian chicks are into S&M
>big time" ... the person who asked me this was looking for a confirmation,
>sadly I have no data to enlighten him with ... any takers out there?
I have no data either....I'd like to know myself...purely for informational
purposes of course...inquiring minds want to know...and its a damn shame to
waste a good mind...so ppl, help us out!! Your country needs you...don't
back down now!!
>> [daulat's "part time" job to make extra bucks]
>
>modern liberated women ... indeed. I hear a lot of talk about that - from
>many modern liberated Indian women, however, they are always curious about
>my income level and vehicular conveyance. I did ask ... apparently, its
Thats only because they don't want any bums free loading off them! You know
how modern indian men are...willing to give up the dowry on surface but really
expect to mooch off the woman's pay check! :)
>not my money, its just knowing that I am "settled and comfortable", p.s.
>could i buy them another drink please?
You should be thankful...they are granting you, little insignificant you!!,
the honor of buying them a drink!
> I wish I just had the money - atleast then i could get a car to amuse
>myself and not someone else! : )
I personally don't care about money...I am not materialistic...of course, being
a college student (well, graduate student now technically) I have none anyway
but I assure you, if I were to win the lottery tomorrow I would give most of
it away...assuming I have some left over after just a few minor purchases that
I definitely have earned...
>> [Meera]
>
>"I went looking for the Ocean ... and California got in the way ..."
>paraphrased from "Rumble Fish" - I guess pretty much the same thing
>happened to me!
Hmm...I am no good at riddles...just tell us what got in the way when you
went looking for meera....I hope it wasn't that nasty, ol' guy who scared
meera when she was jogging!!
>and hey, I am always ahead of most people ... thats why they call me "way
>out there"
unless you are always behind most ppl and everyone is walking backwards...
>
>ok - how about we set up an ashram and have Meera-devi running it?
I second that!!
And perhaps we can also get Sheela Devi to join in too....so we can have the
opposites...you know the whole yin-yang dichotomy...I really do believe in
Taoism...especially when I am a little buzzed but even when I am sober! :)
[Hispanic man approaching meera]
>yes but he was probably asking her if she would like to see his new low
>floor car chassis design
I don't know...Meera is not the kind of person who exaggerates things...If she
felt threatened I'm sure she had good resaon to be...
[nipples]
>indeed, i once made a 10 mile charity run - the most abiding memory of
>which is severe joggers nipple which stayed with me for days after wards.
>Eventually I had to give it back to the jogger I got it from.
Few questions:
1. Did you ask if you could take it in the first place?
2. Did you say "Thank you" when you returned it?
3. Did you use it for, well...useful purposes...while you had it??
4. Would you do it again?
[women always win...why complain?]
>thats just part of their cunning plan to make you think that they arent
>winning - just so that they can pull the double whammy on you later!!!
hmm...I'd let them win anyway..even if they made it obvious that they were
winning! :)
>Once they figure out what makes you tick ... you are dead meat : ) What
>you have to remember is that little girls learn how to totally control men
>from a very early age. Daddy is the first victim. A colleague at work
>was telling me that his 3 year old girl has learnt how to flutter her eye
>lashes ... he gets all misty eyed and starts blubbing at this point and
>says things like his heart melts and he buys her any toys she asks for ...
I don't suppose this eye thing will work for me with my dad?? There are some
toys I'd been wanting for a long time but damn Santa never brings them...
or how about my mom??...not that I buy the whole odeipal complex thing but
I have always thought mother-son relationship is more special than father-son.
>
>once this chick hits 16, armageddon.
I have often wondered what the hell goes on at Sweet Sixteen parties...even my
female cousin didn't invite me to her 16th b-day though every other year I
was invited...may be I don't want to know...but I just love learning so much!!
[the right woman]
>yes, but one never finds the right one ... so make do with some wrong
>ones?
hmm...so many many wrong ones add up to THE right one??
>And dont worry, your parents arent reading this newsgroup, you can
>confess all here!!!
I know my parents don't read it...but they don't have to...as long as my
second cousin's wife's newphew's fiancee's younger brother's best friend
is reading it my parents will get the news...you know how tight indian
families are!...not that there is anything to confess of course!!
>my goodness, a social life?!??! Next thing you know you might start
>talking about inter-racial dating again!?!?! : )
Well the social life thing happened by a complete accident...sometime ago,
without my realizing it, I seem to have made a few friends...as for inter-
racil dating, clearly thats against the rules of God...I wouldn't dare
disobey the almighty!!...so contrary to what some of my other posts indicate,
I cannot support such a devilish idea...as some gentlemen have very
eloquently pointed out on this newsgrp, indian women and men are exclusive
property of each other!
Daulat Sen
In article <4tjsbu$a...@news.service.uci.edu>, eab...@taurus.oac.uci.edu
(Bobby Singh) wrote:
> In article <dsen-26079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
[apsaras sport only takes Daulat 2 secs]
>
> 2 seconds!! Thats it!! hmm...The Holy Order of Hunting Cavemen will not be
> pleased at your public display of weekness!! Your membership may be in
> jeopardy. At least say 2 minutes!!
>
hey, the average amongst the Hunting Cavemen is 1 sec - so I'm doing
pretty well! Besides, I meant seconds in whale time, which is really
human time multiplied by a huuuuuuuuuuge factor - so i can be a total stud
chappati after all! Phew!! Managed to get out of that one!!
>
> [waiting for Madhuri]
>
> >I will wait for her till the seas dry up and the earth crumbles ... she
> >will forever be the queen of my heart.
>
> This is your brain on indian movies! Any questions?
>
and whats more I don't care if she looks fat in Prem Grunt - she is still
perfect, always has been, always will be. Its that Rishi Kapoor, he's the
one making her look fat!!!
>
> > Wait, I think I'll go kill
> >myself!!! Might be easier : )
>
> Good...I mean, welcome back to reality. :)
>
Reality schmeality. I asked this desi girl once if she would run around a
few trees with me and sing a few songs. She refused on the grounds that
she didn't look like Madhuri. I always knew she was a headcase. Besides,
she was right, she definitely didnt look like Madhuri, so somehow the
experience would not have been totatlly meaningful - so I just threw her
in the lake (like you're supposed to in the movies) and walked off.
>
> [What bhavani wants]
> >I wonder what she might find useful? Clean sheets perhaps? Rubber wear?
>
> you mean Latex wear! Rubber just doesn't sound "professional".
>
I do have a neoprene wet suit somewhere ... does that work?
However, I am told that if its really cold then I should pee in it. Does
that work? Or is it extra?
>
> >I dunno ... besides, where would I find an adequate supply of such
> >materials?
>
> umm...have you checked the bedroom closet?? I've heard a huge supply of these
> things can often be found there.
>
there is no one , er... I mean nothing in my closet thank you very much!!!
>
> >
> >I thought that it was the discussion of Pluto and other Disney characters?
>
> As long we are talking about Disney characters, just what the hell is Goofy??
> He is not a dog, nor a donkey...but seems to be both....hmm...is it against
> the law for dogs and donkeys to engage in reproductive processes?? Can't
> charge them with bestiality I guess. i wonder....
>
>
walk away from this one - walk now.
[are indian women into s'n'm? - Daulat has no data]
>
> I have no data either....I'd like to know myself...purely for informational
> purposes of course...inquiring minds want to know...and its a damn shame to
> waste a good mind...so ppl, help us out!! Your country needs you...don't
> back down now!!
>
since you wrote this, I have received 55 e-mails from desi babes in
latex. Mind you, 54 of them were signed "Bruce" and they all wanted your
address. The other one was from "MS" in southern california. I wonder
who she was? But to tell you the truth - last friday I went out partying
and met 5 Air India hosties on a stop over in London. One of them was
wearing this little black mini-dress thing with zips all over the place
and big boots and another was wearing this little black cocktail dress
with straps all over the place and she had that look in her eyes, you know
"hey boy, you're gonna have to beg real bad for this". But I digress.
(hey Daulat wake up!!! wake up!!!)
[why do modern liberated women enqure about Daulat's bank balance?]
>
> Thats only because they don't want any bums free loading off them! You know
> how modern indian men are...willing to give up the dowry on surface but really
> expect to mooch off the woman's pay check! :)
>
ah yes!! so my cunning plan has been revealed at last!!! and to think I
wouldn't have to publicly ask for the bicycle and the sewing machine!!!!
Curses, foiled again!! I think the best thing to do now would be to tie
me to a tree and have Seema Biswas beat me to an inch of my life with a
.303 rifle. oh dear ... s'n'm again! Well, either her or the Vandit
Queen .
>
> >not my money, its just knowing that I am "settled and comfortable", p.s.
> >could i buy them another drink please?
>
> You should be thankful...they are granting you, little insignificant you!!,
> the honor of buying them a drink!
>
thats true - i am very little and insignificant, but only when its cold.
and it is a deep honour to be able to buy them drinks. I shall be more
grateful in the future.
I have this friend - she's 6'2", babe, blonde and a sports teacher -
whenever she feels like a drink and the pay checks several weeks away, she
goes to this bar full of Arab dudes and hangs out - she swears its the
cheapest fun you can have. Naturally I did enquire whether she ever has
to fulfil the unspoken part of the bargain ... she says she can wrestle
most men to the ground anyway, so no one ever pushes their luck : )
> >> [Meera]
> >
> >"I went looking for the Ocean ... and California got in the way ..."
> >paraphrased from "Rumble Fish" - I guess pretty much the same thing
> >happened to me!
>
> Hmm...I am no good at riddles...just tell us what got in the way when you
> went looking for meera....I hope it wasn't that nasty, ol' guy who scared
> meera when she was jogging!!
>
well a few weeks in the california sunshine and slicking back my hair does
indeed make me look like uno de chico's del barrio - however, being a good
desi boy, I am more likely to be running away from a desi chick on the
street than towards one.
>
> >and hey, I am always ahead of most people ... thats why they call me "way
> >out there"
>
> unless you are always behind most ppl and everyone is walking backwards...
>
its a thought - perhaps too advanced for my rapidly diminishing braincell
count, but a thought never the less.
> >
> >ok - how about we set up an ashram and have Meera-devi running it?
>
> I second that!!
>
> And perhaps we can also get Sheela Devi to join in too....so we can have the
> opposites...you know the whole yin-yang dichotomy...I really do believe in
> Taoism...especially when I am a little buzzed but even when I am sober! :)
>
>
we could have meditation centres on different sides of the ashram - the
Meera side and the Sheela side. I prefer to stay in the middle and
collect the money from the devotees so I can atleast save up enough to
settle my account at the bar, after having bought all those drinks for
desi girls over the years : )
Taoism is all well and good - they have all these groovy sayings about the
lives of men and the seasons of the earth and all that stuff. Funny how
Chinese and Indians with all these material renouncing religions are
actually so obsessed about making money eh?
> [nipples]
> >indeed, i once made a 10 mile charity run - the most abiding memory of
> >which is severe joggers nipple which stayed with me for days after wards.
> >Eventually I had to give it back to the jogger I got it from.
>
> Few questions:
>
> 1. Did you ask if you could take it in the first place?
> 2. Did you say "Thank you" when you returned it?
> 3. Did you use it for, well...useful purposes...while you had it??
> 4. Would you do it again?
>
>
the answer to all of the above is "maybe".
Not very convincing I hear you say, but it works for desi chicks, so I
figured I'd give it a try.
> [women always win...why complain?]
> >thats just part of their cunning plan to make you think that they arent
> >winning - just so that they can pull the double whammy on you later!!!
>
> hmm...I'd let them win anyway..even if they made it obvious that they were
> winning! :)
>
dude, like you have a choice?!??!??! DUH!!! They always win whatever
happens!!!
[fluttering eyelashes]
>
> I don't suppose this eye thing will work for me with my dad??
to put it simply - NO!!!
> or how about my mom??...not that I buy the whole odeipal complex thing but
> I have always thought mother-son relationship is more special than father-son.
>
oh yes - especially in India.
>
> >
> >once this chick hits 16, armageddon.
>
> I have often wondered what the hell goes on at Sweet Sixteen parties...even my
> female cousin didn't invite me to her 16th b-day though every other year I
> was invited...may be I don't want to know...but I just love learning so much!!
>
>
firstly - you dont want to know, it'll ruin the mystery
secondly - its part of training little girls in "how women always win
against men" strategy, so they aint gonna tell you
thirdly - you wouldnt get it even if you found out
> [the right woman]
> >yes, but one never finds the right one ... so make do with some wrong
> >ones?
>
> hmm...so many many wrong ones add up to THE right one??
>
>
I dont think simple linear arithmatic works in this instance - the problem
is likely to require a Duhamel's integral in the solution, and even then
its likely to be in the complex plain.
> >And dont worry, your parents arent reading this newsgroup, you can
> >confess all here!!!
>
> I know my parents don't read it...but they don't have to...as long as my
> second cousin's wife's newphew's fiancee's younger brother's best friend
> is reading it my parents will get the news...you know how tight indian
> families are!...not that there is anything to confess of course!!
>
hey thats me!!! small world isnt it?!?!?
> Well the social life thing happened by a complete accident...
sounds like the sort of thing you'd tell a judge ... interesting
> ...as for inter-
> racil dating, clearly thats against the rules of God...I wouldn't dare
> disobey the almighty!!...so contrary to what some of my other posts indicate,
> I cannot support such a devilish idea...as some gentlemen have very
> eloquently pointed out on this newsgrp, indian women and men are exclusive
> property of each other!
>
>
>
> Bobby Singh
wise move Bob, we wouldn't want to bring down the wrath of the righteous
on us - would we?
--
"Oh people, you have sinned. Had you not done so, God would not have sent a punishment on you as terrible as me!"
- Genghiz, Khan of Khans
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-30079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>[apsaras sport only takes Daulat 2 secs]
>
>hey, the average amongst the Hunting Cavemen is 1 sec - so I'm doing
>pretty well! Besides, I meant seconds in whale time, which is really
>human time multiplied by a huuuuuuuuuuge factor - so i can be a total stud
>chappati after all! Phew!! Managed to get out of that one!!
But quantity isn't the only thing you know...quality is more important I
think...not that I am implying that you lack in that aspect...just pointing
it out...
[Madhuri]
>and whats more I don't care if she looks fat in Prem Grunt - she is still
>perfect, always has been, always will be. Its that Rishi Kapoor, he's the
>one making her look fat!!!
You are implying as if being fat is a bad thing!! Surely you know that the
classic (i.e. greek, roman, etc.) conception of beauty consists of umm..shall
we say women with good health...now if it was good enough for Alexander the
Great, Juluis Caesar, Plato etc., isn't it good enough for you?? (well ok,
Plato was probably more into young boys but methinks thats one topic most ppl
on this newsgrp rather not hear the details about!!)
>Reality schmeality. I asked this desi girl once if she would run around a
>few trees with me and sing a few songs.
Hmm...may be next time you should try the singing alone...may I suggest the
song 'Girl, you'll be a woman soon...' by the band Urge Overkill. Its from
the movie 'Pulp Fiction' in case you want to hear it...if that song doesn't
make her want to hang out with you then you better just give up on the
whole singing thing...
> She refused on the grounds that
>she didn't look like Madhuri. I always knew she was a headcase. Besides,
>she was right, she definitely didnt look like Madhuri, so somehow the
>experience would not have been totatlly meaningful -
I still don't get this whole indian male fascination with Madhuri but since
I am in great minority (an appropriate use of the oxymoron I hope!) here I'll
keep quiet...
>so I just threw her
>in the lake (like you're supposed to in the movies) and walked off.
Now what lake was that???...I wonder if she is still swimming around waiting
to be rescued...like all the fairy tales....except I need a motor-boat rather
than a horse but i think I could swing that...I just hope Green-peace doesn't
beat me to it...I wonder if indian women are officially classified as
endangered species...for indian men i mean...obviously not for white men
according to some ppl on this newsgrp....
[rubber vs latex]
>I do have a neoprene wet suit somewhere ... does that work?
I think that'll be fine...though if you REALLY want to sound professinal
may I suggest DuPont Dacron Holofill 808...don't ask me what the hell it is
exactly but doesn't it just sound marvelously complicated and technical...
I just bought a sleeping bag which is made of this stuff...suppose to be great
stuff...I'll find out on my camping trip soon enough...
>However, I am told that if its really cold then I should pee in it. Does
>that work? Or is it extra?
Actually I think the peeing thing does work...I have a friend who uses wet
suits when he goes surfing and we noticed it had no zipper....when we inquired
how he answered nature's call (number 1...I don't even want to know what he
does when its number 2!) he said he, and most others, simply pee in their suit.
No hassle at all! Plus the pee tends to keep them warm according to him...
however, it also gives some of them some kind of rash so you must weigh the
benefits and the drawbacks...
[Will the world ever know what exactly is Goofy??]
>walk away from this one - walk now.
why don't you just admit that you don't know either...thats ok...next time
I journey to the Himalayas, I'll ask the holiest looking person I can find
about the nature of Goofy...but wait, didn't you say there were some holy ppl
reading this newsgrp??....may be one of them can explain this mystery...
>[are indian women into s'n'm? - Daulat has no data--and neither does bobby]
>
>since you wrote this, I have received 55 e-mails from desi babes in
>latex. Mind you, 54 of them were signed "Bruce" and they all wanted your
>address.
Ahh....that Bruce is such a kidder!!...The truth of the matter is that I know
Bruce very well and knowing Bruce I can tell you that Bruce just loooooves
guys with British accent...so actually you are the one Bruce wants...read
the 54 msgs over keeping this in mind and it will become very clear...
>The other one was from "MS" in southern california. I wonder
>who she was?
You know the advice you gave me about the Goofy mystery...well I'm taking it
now...and walking away from this one and walking away from it NOW!! :)
>But to tell you the truth - last friday I went out partying
>and met 5 Air India hosties on a stop over in London. One of them was
>wearing this little black mini-dress thing with zips all over the place
>and big boots and another was wearing this little black cocktail dress
>with straps all over the place and she had that look in her eyes, you know
>"hey boy, you're gonna have to beg real bad for this". But I digress.
>(hey Daulat wake up!!! wake up!!!)
Have you seen the mascot for Air India??...its a guy wearning a turban, dressed
in traditional indian clothing, and has a huge grin on his face giving the
impression that he is very satisfied and content...at least it use to be
that...now if the hostie...i mean flight attendants; must be PC!...dress like
you say...and the cockpit door is always closed...and Air India planes do seem
to be more "bumpy" due to unusual amount of "turbulance"...hmm....if you put
it all together, its not hard to figure out why the guy has a smile on his
face...but i think this is another topic most ppl don't want to know the
details of...
>[women don't want free-loading men]
>
>ah yes!! so my cunning plan has been revealed at last!!! and to think I
>wouldn't have to publicly ask for the bicycle and the sewing machine!!!!
>Curses, foiled again!! I think the best thing to do now would be to tie
>me to a tree and have Seema Biswas beat me to an inch of my life with a
>.303 rifle. oh dear ... s'n'm again! Well, either her or the Vandit
>Queen .
I have no idea who Seema Biswas is but you know what, you can have the "MS"
from southern CA that you mentioned above...and as for your choice of
gun, I suggest a 45 magnum...if you are going to do it, might as well do
it with style...smaller but definitely a sign of refined taste....as for
Vandit queen, you may not want to risk it...who knows once she gets started
she may go one inch too much and you'd be never able to enjoy s'n'm again!
>thats true - i am very little and insignificant, but only when its cold.
I suggest you also get a sleeping bag with the miracle DuPont stuff for
insulation...
>and it is a deep honour to be able to buy them drinks. I shall be more
>grateful in the future.
>
see...one CAN learn from this newsgrp...its not all insults and ravings of
ppl with too much free time on their hand....
> I have this friend - she's 6'2", babe, blonde and a sports teacher -
>whenever she feels like a drink and the pay checks several weeks away, she
>goes to this bar full of Arab dudes and hangs out - she swears its the
>cheapest fun you can have. Naturally I did enquire whether she ever has
>to fulfil the unspoken part of the bargain ... she says she can wrestle
>most men to the ground anyway, so no one ever pushes their luck : )
You know there are guys who would consider wrestling with her as fulfilling
the part of the bargain :)...or at least, a step towards it!!...but i guess
thats getting close to s'n'm again so i am better put a full stop to this
topic! :)
>well a few weeks in the california sunshine and slicking back my hair does
>indeed make me look like uno de chico's del barrio - however, being a good
no es facil para ser uno de chico del barrio...tu no tienes agallas! :)
>desi boy, I am more likely to be running away from a desi chick on the
>street than towards one.
yep...i could see that...thats why I made my previous comment in spanish! :)
>> >and hey, I am always ahead of most people ... thats why they call me "way
>> >out there"
>>
>> unless you are always behind most ppl and everyone is walking backwards...
>>
>
>its a thought - perhaps too advanced for my rapidly diminishing braincell
>count, but a thought never the less.
don't think about it too much...just look at it this way...you are the only
one who is walking the correct way!!...though if everyone is walking backwards
then doesn't walking backwards become the correct way??...hmm...but thats
another thought so lets not get into it...
[yin-yang model of ashram]
>we could have meditation centres on different sides of the ashram - the
>Meera side and the Sheela side. I prefer to stay in the middle and
>collect the money from the devotees so I can atleast save up enough to
hmm...so instead of a holy monk, you'd be like a holy pimp! :)
>settle my account at the bar, after having bought all those drinks for
>desi girls over the years : )
well if you are smart you'll buy them wines cause that is the nectar of
gods and thus we could put it on ashram's expense account...
>Taoism is all well and good - they have all these groovy sayings about the
>lives of men and the seasons of the earth and all that stuff. Funny how
>Chinese and Indians with all these material renouncing religions are
>actually so obsessed about making money eh?
>
its like this, religion is all good and fine for the long run cause it will
get you into heaven where you can have all the free wine and apsras you
want for eternity...but the funny thing is religion won't do anything for you
if you try to get these same things down here just for a few decades...money
is the only thing that seems to work...so gotta have both and indians are
smart enough to realize that!
>> Few questions:
>>
>> 1. Did you ask if you could take it in the first place?
>> 2. Did you say "Thank you" when you returned it?
>> 3. Did you use it for, well...useful purposes...while you had it??
>> 4. Would you do it again?
>>
>>
>the answer to all of the above is "maybe".
>Not very convincing I hear you say, but it works for desi chicks, so I
>figured I'd give it a try.
But if I remember correctly, your track record with desi chicks isn't anything
to brag about so may be its time you reassessed how well this answer is
working for you! :)
[sweet sixteen mystery]
>firstly - you dont want to know, it'll ruin the mystery
I don't know about that...I'm a big Sherlock Holmes fan...not worried about
this...
>secondly - its part of training little girls in "how women always win
>against men" strategy, so they aint gonna tell you
may be not directly...but thats no reason to give up hope completely!
>thirdly - you wouldnt get it even if you found out
Now thats what I am worried about...may be some female volunteers would like
to explain this...there is an idiot's guide type of book for everything from
using DOS to making web pages...how about someone writing "Idiot's guide to
the mysteries of sweet sixteen parties"...anyone??
[women]
>> hmm...so many many wrong ones add up to THE right one??
>>
>>
>I dont think simple linear arithmatic works in this instance - the problem
>is likely to require a Duhamel's integral in the solution, and even then
>its likely to be in the complex plain.
well indians do tend to go in enginerring in rather high numbers...surely
someone here has enough math background...I for one took calculus in high
school so i remember nothing from it except that making the derivative symbol
was kind of fun in the beginning but got really boring very soon...
>> I know my parents don't read it...but they don't have to...as long as my
>> second cousin's wife's newphew's fiancee's younger brother's best friend
>> is reading it my parents will get the news...you know how tight indian
>> families are!...not that there is anything to confess of course!!
>>
>
>hey thats me!!! small world isnt it?!?!?
well what do you know!!! We are almost related!! You must come over for tea
sometimes!! I just got this new bhujia and laddus that you must try!! And
please say my hi to auntie and uncle (your parents)! :)
>> Well the social life thing happened by a complete accident...
>
>sounds like the sort of thing you'd tell a judge ... interesting
>
ok...ok...I confess...I did it!! I planned it all along!! I got a social life
on purpose!! Are you happy now??!!
Bobby Singh
_____________________________________________________________________________
I have no troubles, I have money like a capitalist, no boss, no wife, no
children; I exist, that's all. And that trouble is so vague, so metaphysical
that I am ashamed of it. --Sartre, 'Nausea'
"Welcome aboard, Mr. Pilgrim," said the loudspeaker. "Any questions?"
Billy licked his lips, thought a while, inquired at last: "Why me?"
"That is very Earthling question to ask, Mr. Pilgrim. Why you? Why us for
that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is. Have you ever seen
bugs trapped in amber?"
"Yes." Billy, in fact, had a paperweight in his office which was a blob of
polished amber with three lady-bugs embedded in it.
"Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is
no why." --Kurt Vonnegut, jr., 'Slaughterhouse Five'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vivek Sadananda Pai
In article <dsen-19079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, Daulat wrote:
|>
|>Vivek wrote :
|>>Like that General whatshisname, you know, the one who left the
|>>Phillipines, I have returned.
|>
|>ah yes Bataan, Corrigador, Guadalcanal ... but like him are you proposing
|>to cross the Yalu River northwards or to nuke Beijing in the greater
|>interest of democracy, crumbly candy bars and Doris Day movies? I
No, I propose that we leave the Chinese to their own candy bars, and
that'll eventually solve the situation. They have a penchant for
having everything flavored with black bean paste, including their
candy. Once they take over Hong Kong, the bean-paste candy will
automatically be pushed aside by the wonderful candy that will, we
assume, be produced in the 21st century.
|>understand that his idea for liberating Berlin involved an armoured thrust
|>from the East, starting in Korea ofcourse.
It always involves an armored thrust, doesn't it?
The military's hardly going to recommend unarmored thrusts from the
East, especially since penicillin's no longer as effective in
Southeast Asia as it once was.
|>>but if you try to have a congress with a Filipino babe, you get 40 lashes,
|>>sort of like they do chewing gum in that country, whatever it was.
|>
|>You're thinking of Schwingapore, after all, the Schwingapore Girl, is "a
|>great way to fly".
By the seat of your pants, I believe...
|>And its true - though no one ever tells you that about
|>a third of Singapore Girls are infact boys.
OK, you've confused me with that statement, not that I think that an
explanation will clear things up. However, I'm willing to venture a
query. Are you saying that the stewardesses aren't all female, or that
the professionals in the country are like Keanu in "My Private Idaho"?
|>As far as I know you dont get
|>lashed for Filipinas, its normally extra. Atleast so my friend who
|>frequented bars around Subic Bay used to say.
Ah, yes, the place where the US demonstrated how totally collapse a
local economy, if I recall correctly. Well, it can be argued that war
has that effect sometimes, but this was a peacetime withdrawal. It
just goes to show that sometimes, things aren't quite rosy after a
withdrawal.
|>In article <dsen-16079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
|>Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
|>
|>ah yes ... the plot! What was it now? Something about Indian men wearing
|>Indian clothes? Nah, that'd never happen!!
Not until the West makes it hip to wear Indian clothes. Nehru jackets,
anyone? I'm waiting for dhotis to come into fashion.
|>[Californian man indecently proposes to Daulat in Madras]
|>>As soon as he said California, that should've been your first warning.
|>
|>I had actually figured it out before he even opened his mouth.
No pun intended.
|>It was my fault for wearing those shorts I guess, slut that I am.
Didn't they teach you at the ashram not to wear shorts in public in
India? You practically advertised yourself as such.
|>I dunno, this contributary negligence is such a terrible thing!!
Definitely. You were asking for it, all right.
[ Keanu turning down a movie to tour ]
|>Dude, when you're a rock'n'rolla on the road, you can get way more chix
|>than just Sandra Bullock, like they're totally all over the place!
I guess so, but somehow, I don't think Dogstar's musical talents are
exactly carrying the band. At least when Mickey Rourke decided to
become a boxer, he sank or swam based on how hard he could hit.
[ Daulat noticing the apsaras ]
|>Vivek >What disappointed him - their proportions or your noticing them?
|>
|>I think the latter, because he was avidly showing me the male statues with
|>erections - which I must admit was a little surprising for Tamillian
Hey, since there are so many Tamilians these days one would assume
that they figured out the secret of reproduction.
|>temple architecture -
Oh wait, nix that last comment. I should've finished the sentence.
|>atleast from the Chola period, but luckily not
|>enough to divert my attention from that very cute Bank clerk babe from
|>Mysore who was also on our tour.
Ah, a bank clerk. A very promising girl, yes, definitely. One day, she
would find herself making it up the ranks, climbing the corporate
ladder, and she would even get access to the bank's vacation bungalow
at the foothills of some mountain.
|>Our eyes met a few times, but California
|>man kept getting in the way and ruined the start of what could have been a
|>beautiful friendship! Oh well.
You in England, she in Mysore, and he in California - would never have
worked, except perhaps in the movies.
|>Vivek : >Some men just don't go for the Indian ideal woman, you know?
|>
|>does not compute, does not compute ... error, error, error, please try
|>again.
Strange but true.
|>Vivek : >I knew a Chinese girl here at Rice who was shaped like the
|>>aforementioned apsaras,
|>
|>and you didn't call me!!!!!!????? After all this time!!!! I am very
|>dissapointed.
Before your time, and really, in a way, before my time. No, she
wouldn't have been a good choice anyway, because, well, you can
imagine what happened with age progression. As the flexible lifestyle
of college life, with its ample opportunity for exercise, yielded to a
more regimented business world, I imagine that her prized assets soon
found themselves growing, not out of some divine plan to taunt other
Chinese women, but instead, as a natural consequence of weight gain.
Alas, teetering on the brink seems to be a distant fantasy.
|>> and though she had a host of other flaws (annoying personality, annoying
|>>annoying personality, and a few other things), there was always a line
|>>10-deep of Chinese guys fawning all over her.
|>
|>Vivek, honestly! You should know by now that women can overcome terrible
|>personalities with amazing figures - it works for 95% of them 99% of the
|>time. But what that statistic truly reveals is the total stupidity of
|>men.
I don't know if the point came across in the above quote, but did I
mention that she had an annoying personality?
|>Vivek : >Yes, lots of thoughts, but mostly on high-speed communication
|>>systems these days. Haven't seen a movie in ages.
|>
|>I would like to communicate with Sridevi using high speed systems, does
|>that help?
Prolly not. After all, speed isn't necessarily a virtue in all fields
of communication. Sometimes, there's no substitute for Morse Code.
|>Vivek : >Yes, and it's not for the first-time traveler either. If you read
|>>some of those old British journals, you will find that many men died in
|>>accidents when they were going up the Khyber Pass. Usually, there was
|>>a sudden rush of animals, and they got stampeded from behind.
|>
|>nasty, very nasty. Other times, they were stampeded by Alexander the
|>Great, but not that he's anything like Keanu Reeves of course.
Of course not - Alexander the Great used to mount elephants and
horses, from what I recall, or perhaps that was his Russian sister
Catherine. What the hell was Bocephus, after all?
|>Vivek : The person with the largest and most flamboyant Dandias always gets
|>>the most attention come Navratri. Of course, some women don't like the
|>>guys who are real show-offs when they go around hitting their sticks
|>>with anything that moves.
|>
|>I hope that these days, the Indian communities are getting hip and using
|>adequate protection before flailing their dandias at all and sundry?
Unfortunately, no. At the last Navratri I attended, there were these
two guys beating their sticks against anything that happened to walk
by. Alas, when their poor, abused sticks finally gave way, the
resulting schism sent splinters into a fair number of people, who were
not amused to find random bits of debris on their clothing.
|>Vivek : >Not so weird after all. Just observer the subculture known as
|>>"pothead". They sit around all day smoking grass, then all of the
|>>sudden, one of them will get the munchies, and for two days, they run
|>>around the neighborhood looking for Doritos.
|>
|>ah yes, I have observed them. I once tracked a whole herd of ferocious
|>potheads across the wide open plains of the Serengeti, braving flashfloods
|>and Lions and other big pussies.
I guess Goa is no longer the destination resort of choice for such
herds?
|>At journey's end I could not remember
|>why I had started but found the great Dorito mountain and paid homage to
|>the great purple haze sky god. It was like totally out of this world
|>man. Where am I again?
England, land of cloudy skies and bad food. Doritos were probably
banned there for quite some time, as was Henry Miller's Tropic of
Cancer. Understandable, since both might induce, well, you know,
thoughts about the Royal Family which they're only allowed to have
with each other. I understand that there's a whole swarm of Bobbies
whose sole task it is to clean off any restroom graffiti mentioning
the former Diana Spencer.
|>>discussion soc.support.zoophilia (I kid you not). There you will
|>>surely find discussions of how two friends should divvy up a bevy of
|>>Wildebeest.
|>
|>I worry about you sometimes Vivek, any fool knows that the guy who wins
|>the headbutting contest gets to keep all the females in his harem!!!
Yes, but these are the days of cooperation, so it's not uncommon to
find groups of young turks (or young Wildebeest, for that matter)
cooperating to drive out the old guard. Besides, what really is the
difference between one Wildebeest and another. As Oscar Wilde (no
relation) once said - they're all the same in the dark plains of
Africa.
|>[Asian newscasters on either side of the Atlantic]
|>>Pretty interesting. I hear there is a female Indian newsperson
|>>somewhere in the Northest US, but that's the only one I know. What's
|>>interesting to note, beyond just the racial aspect, is the gender
|>>thing. Simply put, Connie Chung is not a man.
|>
|>I think thats a bit too simply put - you will have lost the majority of
|>our fellow readers I fear.
OK, then I feel compelled to restate the last line. Connie Chung is an
Asian female.
|>You just have to face the fact that Asian
|>women are far more able to secure jobs in the media than Asian men on
|>grounds of merit and merit alone.
Yeah, and my acquaintance with the annoying personality had 10 Chinese
guys following her every move simply because she was the smartest
person they had ever met.
|>>I haven't seen a single Asian male in newsreporting, well, unless you
|>>include George Takei as Sulu in the original Star Trek series.
|>
|>mind you, he was cooler than most, so maybe in the light of positive
|>discrimination, he had used up all the Asian Male credits available and so
|>the others have to wait longer?
Uhura was also cooler than most, and she was the only Black woman on
TV those days, but we still see more Black women on TV today than we
see Asian men.
|>Vivek : [about the black lesbian singer]
|>>"Leviticus: Faggot". I wanted to see exactly what she would perform on
|>>Letterman, and to my surprise, she performed something else. Gee, I
|>>wonder why?
|>
|>Well, I am sure that Mom and Pop in Pitchfork Junction, Idaho, don't want
|>faggots shoved down their throats at certain times of the evening. I know
|>I don't.
You apparently haven't been to the farm states much. A friend of mine
from Nebraska tells me that wife-swapping and devil worship are pretty
common, because, well, there's not a whole lot to do in those states.
|>Vivek : >Incidentally, she was the one whose first song was "If that's you
|>>boyfriend (he wasn't last night)." Black women were angry that she was
|>>singing about stealing someone else's boyfriend, an act which is
|>>apparently frowned upon,
|>
|>dont know about you, but I never steal anyone's boyfriend.
I think that if you stole someone's boyfriend, I'd frown upon you.
|>I think its a
|>mean and nasty thing to do, but if you do steal one, make sure to put it
|>back where you found it.
Not only that, but also make sure he's in the same condition. Read any
Milan Kundera to find out about the potential pitfalls in poorly
executed endeavors of this type.
|>>and homosexuals were angry that she was
|>>pretending to be straight.
|>
|>Well, I pretend to be Indian according to some people.
In the words of Me'shell Ndegeocello, "If that's your bhai-friend, he
wasn't last night, coconut". Well, almost her words.
|>I also pretend to be white according to other people.
If that's your bhai-friend, if that's your bhai-friend, if that's your
bhai-friend, he wasn't last night.
|>So it just goes to show that you cant
|>please all the people all of the time - unless ofcourse your name is
|>Meera, or Jay Stevens.
Most of Meera's hate mail seems to be from guys who are angry at the
fact that she refuses to even consider pleasing them. I guess they
read her posts and collectively come to the conclusion that this is
the moment they have all been awaiting. Jay Stevens is the exact
opposite - he's the reason so many Indian women pursue white men.
|>Vivek : >Indians, the sheep? Sure, some of our ancestors were meek, but I
|>>don't think the British exactly sheared them for their wool.
|>
|>no, the taxation system was far more adept at fleecing the populace, aided
|>and abetted by the zamindari system.
When I think about the past, I always think "well, it could have been
worse." After all, the British merely left the country plundered and
in a state of disarray. They could have easily taken the sheep back
with them as a show of conquest, which would have meant no wool for
the new republic.
Speaking of which, Republica has finally made it to the states (well,
their CD single for "Ready To Go" has), and it's catching on. Now, my
question - Elastica, Psychotica, and now Republica - what is it with
the British and groups names ending with the suffix "ica"?
|>>more back hair than Indian men. This is why you always see South
|>>American cowboys, though there aren't any cattle in South America -
|>>they watch over herds of displaced Germans.
|>
|>oh, I thought it was cos they were mostly escaped Nazi's who grew beards
|>so that no one would recognise them.
Yeah, that too.
|>I knew this Columbian girl whose
|>father was German - she was always very reticent to talk about family
|>history ...
I'm sure it must be difficult saying "My father was a war criminal" at
social gatherings.
|>Vivek : >To buy a sheep? What's the going rate?
|>
|>well according to my trusty guide on Central Asian customs, it says the
|>conversion rate is : 20 Sheep to an Ass.
Jay Stevens is hardly worth 20 sheep.
|>5 Asses to a Bullock.
And Sandra Bullock is worth much more than 5 Jay Stevens's.
|>3
|>Bullocks to a Horse, 5 Horses to a Camel, 10 Camels to a Wife, and 2 Wives
|>to a Rifle. Can we work back from the current price of a rifle?
Sure. 1 Sheep is 1/30,000th of a rifle.
|>Vivek : >Ah, yes, this must have been one of the texts you studied while you
|>>were on that extended ashram visit atoning for our collective sins.
|>
|>thats right, but my memory aint what it used to be.
Not to mention the fact that our sins aren't what they used to be.
|>Every now and again I
|>need to go for top ups to the ashram cos my spirtualism seems to fade
|>away. Besides, it takes a lot of effort to get Great Surya's radiance to
|>emanate from my eyes these days.
Watch it - you know what happened to the last person who called for
Surya, don't you?
|>Vivek : >Whose salivation level? Rickshawallas are generally a few teeth
|>>short of a full smile, and as a result, they tend to drool out of their
|>>gaps. Paanwallas, on the other hand, chew tobacco, so they too are
|>>never short of spittle.
|>
|>You know Vivek, if there were any people contemplating this career move,
|>you've probably convinced them against it for good now.
Unless, of course, they are old and missing a few teeth, in which case
they might think that they've found the perfect career move, since
gigolo obviously wasn't it. Did I mention that Jay Stevens turns 50 soon?
|>Vivek : >However, turning tricks at Rs. 10 a pop in some shack is hardly what
|>>one would call a smart endeavor. Even in the US, the paanwallas make
|>>about $0.50 profit per paan, so that's about Rs. 18 right there.
|>
|>so what you're really saying is that the Purchasing Power Parity rule
|>doesnt appear to hold in this instance? Many economists will be mightily
|>displeased.
Most of the US economists have no idea what a Paan is, nor have they
flown to India to pay Rs. 10 for tricks in a dirty shack. Usually,
they just go to Goa, where both are included as part of their package
tour.
|>Daulat |>how is the National Inquirer these days?
|>
|>>Well, it seems to have carried an item about Deepak Chopra and a girl
|>>from an "escort service", if you know what I mean...
|>
|>no I don't, and who is Deepak Chopra?
He's something of a rage here. Doctor turned Hindu-ish new-agey guru
type. He apparently also believes that a little vigorous activity is
good for the body...
|>Daulat : |>how about Aryan Nation Mountain Retreat and Rifle Range? After
|>all we are
|>|>Aryans!
|>
|>>Yes, and as soon as we start making our way up the mountain, all of
|>>those guns pointed towards us will be in offering, right?
|>
|>I am sure that once they understand we are brothers under the skin, they
And just to make sure, they might skin us...
|>will welcome us with open arms and love us to bits. Afterall, we shall
|>have great Surya's radiance about our noble persons, no?
And if not that, you can show them that you still carry forth the
religion of the Mohenjo-Daro days, or show them your Harappo. That'll
make them welcome you...
|>Daulat : |>have you asked Meera?
|>Vivek : >Holy, not holier-than-thou...
|>
|>no, I think that was supposed to be me.
Ah, yes, I forget. You were the one who went ashram-hopping for a
period of weeks, and look at what happened to poor old acuai in your
absence.
|>I am thinking of embarking on a
|>teerth yatra to Southern California to pay my respects to Meera-ji.
|>Anyone wanna join me?
Uh, what sort of teertha yatra would that be?
|>[Winnie Mandela]
|>>Yeah, and she's now free to coach her "soccer team" in her copious
|>>spare time. Odd how a political strongwoman found the time to coach
|>>her soccer team while those teenage boys were being dropped on their
|>>heads, eh?
|>
|>well, those chaps in the soccer team used to train in their spare time as
|>"security personnel" so I guess thats ok -
Yes, you know how it's so hard to get the right-sized weights in South
Africa for proper soccer training. After all, the average soccer
playing has to throw the ball in over his head using both arms, and if
you can't find a ball, then I guess an anti-ANC kid will do, eh?
|>personally, if little Stompie
|>Maketzie (if I remember right) "talked" to the blankes politzie, he needed
|>a little bouncing, comerade.
Ah ha - this is where you are wrong. If you grab someone by their
ankles and drop them onto the ground head-first, the physics of the
situation would suggest that they don't bounce, but that they
collapse. In Stompie's case, not only did he collapse, but he didn't
bounce back.
|>The price of the life of a black street kid
|>in Jo'burg hasnt really gone up much over the years. Judging by current
|>trends, it aint gonna either.
Apparently, it's not worth a whole lot in the states either, because
when Winnie visited the US after that incident, none of the copious
press coverage even alluded to it.
|>Vivek : >I did a double take on that before realizing that you were referring
|>>to the daughter.
|>
|>I read it again too and found no inconsistency. Suggests to me that you
|>have a repressed fascination with Nelson Mandela, confess now and be
|>pardoned.
I have a strange fascination with Nelson Mandela's ability to dance
the toi-toi, even at his advanced age. I predict it will be the next
hot dance craze now that the "Macarena" has died out.
|>[bushmen languages]
|>Vivek : excitedness in transliterated click languages, I wonder? Alas, I
|>>ended my training in ethnic anthropology too soon, I see.
|>
|>yes you did, I was looking forward to a detailed treatise on the subject.
Perhaps you need to scout around London and find yourself a
bushwoman. She will, no doubt, be able to tell you how to
appropriately express an excited click state. Of course, how you're to
find one is a different matter, since asking random women if they're
from the bush is likely to get you a few cold stares and perhaps some
slaps.
|>Daulat : |>yeah, blowing my cover is even worse than blowing strawberries
|>Vivek : >or sheep?
|>
|>actually sheep get this condition where they get gas trapped inside them
|>and they start to inflate like a balloon and get blown up. Poor things.
Sheep and Englishmen. Hence their desire to search the world for spices.
|>What you have to do then is to make a small incision with a penknife
|>beneath their rib cages and let them deflate, doesnt seem to harm them
|>otherwise. Under the circumstances, I'd go for the strawberries.
Yes, strawberries, definitely.
|>Vivek : >Of course - after all, he did go to the ashram for an extended stay
|>>about a year ago, right?
|>
|>Yes I did, would you like some Vibhuti? Its quite fresh.
No thanks - I've figured out that trick, and now I can produce it on
my own. However, I did get a haircut some time back, so, alas, I don't
think I can get rich off that magic trick.
|>Vivek : >Not lost, aim for clueless. Confuse multisyllabic words - the women
|>>dig it.
|>
|>always have a packet of Camel cigarettes handy too - dont have to smoke
|>em, just keep em around, and a Zippo. Always impresses em.
Yes, they give out Zippos in the high schools these days, you know,
with kids being active and all. I don't know it impressing anyone,
unless they think "wow, what a responsible kind of guy". Usually, it's
generally considered a topic of ridicule, but it can have its
laughs. I knew of a guy who explained away the ring-shaped indentation
in his wallet as his lucky silver dollar, and far too many ladies
believed it. Of course, with the amount of time it was sitting idle in
his wallet, I can't believe it brought him too much luck.
|>Carry a book
|>of poems around if you can - thats if none of the other guys beats you up
|>first.
Tried it - Allen Ginsburg's "Howl" just doesn't work, for obvious
reasons. Maya Angelou's "Why the caged bird sings" also has a
detrimental effect, not that it's a failure, but that it fails to have
the desired effect.
|>Vivek : Plus, you ever try dancing to Gregorian chants? The total lack of a
|>>beat sort of makes it a hard proposition...
|>
|>hey, it worked for Morrisey, don't knock it! Although we dont like him
|>anymore cos he flirted with the whole Nazi look thing.
Being gay also worked for Morrisey, but that doesn't imply that I'm
going to try that either.
-Vivek
Daulat Sen
In article <4tpo5r$j...@news.service.uci.edu>, eab...@taurus.oac.uci.edu
(Bobby Singh) wrote:
[Bobby is surprised at Daulat's in ability with Apsaras]
>
> But quantity isn't the only thing you know...quality is more important I
> think...not that I am implying that you lack in that aspect...just pointing
> it out...
if quality was the most important thing then I would only ever date
Maharashtrian babes like Madhuri, Sonali, Mamta, Namrata ... etc. But
since that seems not to be the case, I guess there must indeed be another
factor.
[Madhuri looking fat]
>
> You are implying as if being fat is a bad thing!! Surely you know that the
> classic (i.e. greek, roman, etc.) conception of beauty consists of umm..shall
> we say women with good health...
not to mention those Rubenesque rotundities ... most cuddlemongous indeed
> now if it was good enough for Alexander the
> Great, Juluis Caesar, Plato etc., isn't it good enough for you??
considering that they were all gay or bisexual that doesnt really help me
very much Bobby. You are further ruining my reputation with
aforementioned Maharashtrian babes.
[singing with desi girls around lakes]
> Hmm...may be next time you should try the singing alone...may I suggest the
> song 'Girl, you'll be a woman soon...' by the band Urge Overkill.
Bobby, do you find it difficult dating Indian women? Just curious? btw :
when you say soon ... are you implying that there may be some legal
complications in this situation?
> I still don't get this whole indian male fascination with Madhuri
kill yourself. Its an option
>
> >so I just threw her
> >in the lake (like you're supposed to in the movies) and walked off.
>
> Now what lake was that???...
Loch Ness i think it was ... now there really is a monster in there!!!
> beat me to it...I wonder if indian women are officially classified as
> endangered species...for indian men i mean...obviously not for white men
> according to some ppl on this newsgrp....
>
But you know that for the Great White Hunters, endangered species have
always made great trophies - allegedly. But that was in the bad old days
of the Raj, these days in the new Republic, such things are not
permitted. The National Park system is really quite capable these days.
>
> [Will the world ever know what exactly is Goofy??]
> >walk away from this one - walk now.
>
> why don't you just admit that you don't know either...thats ok...next time
> I journey to the Himalayas, I'll ask the holiest looking person I can find
> about the nature of Goofy...but wait, didn't you say there were some holy ppl
> reading this newsgrp??....may be one of them can explain this mystery...
>
they might, but have you got 5 years of meditation time to spare to find
out? I would sacrifice that time for the secrets of room temperature
fusion, but to know about Goofy ... I don't think so.
[daulat parties with 5 air india hosties]
[bobby implies that untoward happenings are going in air india planes
hence the smile on the face of the mascot]
> you say...and the cockpit door is always closed...and Air India planes do seem
> to be more "bumpy" due to unusual amount of "turbulance"...hmm....if you put
> it all together, its not hard to figure out why the guy has a smile on his
> face...but i think this is another topic most ppl don't want to know the
> details of...
>
If those ladies were here (assuming they were not a figment of my
imagination] they would slap you very very hard for saying such things. I
saw them (o r imagined them probably) fending off the amorous attentions
of a number of young (and not so young) men that evening ... lets just say
that they know how to deal with these situations. Which is more than can
be said of a number of people on this newsgroup. But then thats the way
life and the net is - somewhere there is reality, somewhere there is
fantasy.
> I have no idea who Seema Biswas is
the actress who played Phoolan Devi in Bandit Queen
>but you know what, you can have the "MS"
> from southern CA that you mentioned above...and as for your choice of
> gun, I suggest a 45 magnum...if you are going to do it, might as well do
> it with style...smaller but definitely a sign of refined taste
that may be, but the Lee Enfield 0.303 is a true classic infantry weapon,
accurate to over a mile, capable of rough usage and simplicity itself to
maintain. A convenient size and weight and very handy for beating the
crap out of people when you run out of bullets. It was for many years the
Afghan's favourite weapon till the AK-47 supplanted it. However, the 303
still retains great popularity as a sniper rifle. Not to mention its
ubiquitous usage in India amongst law enforcement agencies.
>....as for
> Vandit queen, you may not want to risk it...who knows once she gets started
> she may go one inch too much and you'd be never able to enjoy s'n'm again!
>
I think the person in question is none other than our good friend the
Marquis - I wonder if he has finsihed administering the blows from his
Bull's Pizzle upon the good Bishop's derriere yet?
>
>
> >thats true - i am very little and insignificant, but only when its cold.
>
> I suggest you also get a sleeping bag with the miracle DuPont stuff for
> insulation...
>
thats a splendid idea - but normally I use seal blubber underpants, just
like those caveman Viking dudes. very effective when you're floating in
the North Sea I find. Mind you, there's so many Oil Rigs there now that
you could happily hop from one to the other all the way from England to
Norway these days.
>
> >and it is a deep honour to be able to buy them drinks. I shall be more
> >grateful in the future.
> >
>
> see...one CAN learn from this newsgrp...its not all insults and ravings of
> ppl with too much free time on their hand....
>
I have a feeling I'm going to be very honoured tonight : )
[tall blonde babe who wrestles]
> You know there are guys who would consider wrestling with her as fulfilling
> the part of the bargain :)...or at least, a step towards it!!...but i guess
> thats getting close to s'n'm again so i am better put a full stop to this
> topic! :)
I think that might be wise - especially since its all over in a flash;
she's stronger than most men I know. which is kinda strangely erotic, but
then i might get flamed for being turned on by white girls so I better not
get into it.
>
> >well a few weeks in the california sunshine and slicking back my hair does
> >indeed make me look like uno de chico's del barrio - however, being a good
>
> no es facil para ser uno de chico del barrio...tu no tienes agallas! :)
Hoder! no me toces .. . por que tu pienses que no los tengo?!?!?
Maricon de playa!!
> [yin-yang model of ashram]
> >we could have meditation centres on different sides of the ashram - the
> >Meera side and the Sheela side. I prefer to stay in the middle and
> >collect the money from the devotees so I can atleast save up enough to
>
> hmm...so instead of a holy monk, you'd be like a holy pimp! :)
>
giving to a worthy cause is a noble thing. Just ask Pat Robertson.
>
> >settle my account at the bar, after having bought all those drinks for
> >desi girls over the years : )
>
> well if you are smart you'll buy them wines cause that is the nectar of
> gods and thus we could put it on ashram's expense account...
>
>
thats a good idea. actually a lot of desi girls do ask for a dry white
wine, but then they get very confused and embarrased if you say
"sauvignon blanc or chardonnay? Or perhaps a naughty little semillion?".
So I fear that this whole god thing might be a little ropy. Personally I
prefer girls that can swill lager and eat kebabs.
>
> >> Few questions:
> >>
> >the answer to all of the above is "maybe".
> >Not very convincing I hear you say, but it works for desi chicks, so I
> >figured I'd give it a try.
>
> But if I remember correctly, your track record with desi chicks isn't anything
> to brag about so may be its time you reassessed how well this answer is
> working for you! :)
it works pretty well with the sheep. Atleast in Wanganaiki. so there.
>
>
> [sweet sixteen mystery]
> >secondly - its part of training little girls in "how women always win
> >against men" strategy, so they aint gonna tell you
>
> may be not directly...but thats no reason to give up hope completely!
>
you're just making it harder for yourself, when they get you, they are
gonna do you over big time!
>
> >thirdly - you wouldnt get it even if you found out
>
> Now thats what I am worried about...may be some female volunteers would like
> to explain this...there is an idiot's guide type of book for everything from
> using DOS to making web pages...how about someone writing "Idiot's guide to
> the mysteries of sweet sixteen parties"...anyone??
>
please?
>
> >> I know my parents don't read it...but they don't have to...as long as my
> >> second cousin's wife's newphew's fiancee's younger brother's best friend
> >> is reading it my parents will get the news...you know how tight indian
> >> families are!...not that there is anything to confess of course!!
> >>
> >
> >hey thats me!!! small world isnt it?!?!?
>
> well what do you know!!! We are almost related!! You must come over for tea
> sometimes!! I just got this new bhujia and laddus that you must try!! And
> please say my hi to auntie and uncle (your parents)! :)
>
auntie and uncle gladlly accept your pranams, and i look forward to the
bhujias greatly. I have given up on the laddus since they represent the
oppression of the sugared classes against the struggling proletarian
masses - who with their sweat and blood have made the bhujias their own
snack of struggle.
Jai Hind!
>
>
> >> Well the social life thing happened by a complete accident...
> >
> >sounds like the sort of thing you'd tell a judge ... interesting
> >
>
> ok...ok...I confess...I did it!! I planned it all along!! I got a social life
> on purpose!! Are you happy now??!!
>
Happiness is a fleeting moment we store away - a rope to cling to when the
deluge of doom overtakes our dark hearts.
(was that good bobby? will the poetry chicks dig that?!??!)
>
Daulat
Shiv
Subject: Re: Are Indian Men afraid of dressing ethnically?
From: rk...@mail.global.co.za (user)
Date: 1996/07/05
Message-Id: <4rh0do$o...@dodo.global.co.za>
References: <dsen-03079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>
<4re5b3$5...@intelsat2.intelsat.int>
Organization: Global Internet access
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-Indian
> Are you not maybe misunderstanding the issue? There is absolutely
> nothing wrong with wearing Indian clothing in public - It must just
> suit the occasion for which you are wearing the clothing. e.g. If you
> would like to wear a kurta to a really smart evening dinner, then make
> sure it is your best kurta you have in the cupboard!
> This is not the best example but I hope you understand what I am
> trying to say.
This IS a good example. I am perfectly insync with you. There are
ofcourse some occassions that you should use your better judgement. One
wouldn't wear tanktops and bikini briefs to a temple, although the
weather outside may warrant it.
> Also - I believe that Indian women like it when Indian men can dress
> the 'Indian' way in a western world. It shows that the man is not
> afraid of who he is. It must just suit the occasion. If you think of
> it - a westerner wearing jeans and a T-shirt to a really smart evening
> dinner will also look out of place!!!
I don't know if I can generalize that way. All I can say is that the
wimin I know titer but they are not at all embarrassed to see me wearing
such clothes in public. But I have desi girls I don't know run the
fastest mile in the mall when I am spotted wearing such apparel. What a
shame, they could have become olympic athletes.
--
*****************************************************
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man
to laugh at that man.
- Deep thoughts by Jack Handey.
*****************************************************
Shiv
Subject: Re: Are Indian Men afraid of dressing ethnically?
Date: 1996/07/09
Message-Id: <dsen-09079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>
References: <dsen-03079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>
<4re5b3$5...@intelsat2.intelsat.int> <dsen-04079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>
<4rr97g$6...@intelsat2.intelsat.int>
Organization: CSC Index
Newsgroups: soc.culture.bengali,alt.culture.us.asian-Indian
In article <4rr97g$6...@intelsat2.intelsat.int>, Shiv <shivram@*.int> wrote:
> Daulat Sen wrote:
>though a plague of desi girls from Wanganaiki might indeed be an
>interesting development. Somehow I suspect that Wanganaiki has 200, 000
>head of sheep for every desi girl in town. Thats not to suggest that desi
>girls from Wanganaiki are like sheep, nor indeed any desi girls. However,
>if the sheep of Wanganaiki were to be like desi girls ... hmmm ... how
>much is the fare to Kiwiland these days?!??!?!? : )
Woe is you, daulat. Are you sure you aren't in the sahara.
[hanging around in lungi's]
>
>presumably that was before you were all arrested? Reminds me of an
>incident when we had been kayaking down a river and having got wet, were
>getting changed in the only available place - the local car park. Luckily
>it was dark but at the crucial moment a police car arrived and shone its
>headlights onto a row of naked male flesh - which almost led to some
>headlines in the local press about "bizarre satanic cult caught in weird
>ritual by river bank". But I digress.
I think he must have found the sheep easier to deal with. BTW why is budweiser like
making love in a canoe. (Both are fucking close to water].
Ever tried skinny dipping at midnight in the bayou. Luckily there weren't any bobbies.
But this guy on an ATV must have been really surprised. A couple of brownies in the
midst of a dozen honkies, all butt nekid. Must have confused him. Either way he and the
crocodiles all diasappeared to leave us inebriated souls do our swan song.
[desi girl on train with weird look]
>the thought had occured to me, and in fact i was about to do it, but she
>was soooooooooooo pretty that my knees gave and I collapsed on the floor
>as a twitching wreck. I am sure thats what she told her friends anyway.
>I think what I actually said to her was "tventy dollar jiggy jiggy?????"
>and wiggled my eyebrows a lot. I always do that to desi girls in public
>transport systems.
AhA! that explains while 'desi girls on subways' are an endangered species.
Did you get slippered?
>getting puffed by Jay Stevens was a pleasure only afforded to leaves from
>certain interesting plants, or so i was led to believe? You are much
>honoured!
Do I hear roach?
> I hear the sheep of Wanganaiki are often seen in saris these days
oh ho! your are treading on thin ice. Maybe the sheep are beckoning you. They must be
calling it the call of the mild (or wild, if its a desi girl in sheep's clothing).
>no, I think i would add a singlet and cycling shorts to that - perhaps
>some dogtags you must preserve the diginity of the holy indian woman.
I don't think cycling shorts and dogtags preserve the dignity of the holy indian woman.
I think we'd rather be safer using the word indian women than include holy in it after
some people (non-indians) have written about the erotica involved or associated with a
saree. Must have been some desperate souls, to have been turned on by a few square
inches of flesh. I wonder what would happen if they ever saw a nekid women. Maybe get
blown high as hell. Note: Is that a reason why more desi girls don't wear saris.
Or maybe the sheep are using those hints and wearing sarees. Watch out daulat, for those
sheep that you count to fall asleep. One day one em' might be in a sari to seduce you.
>> Actually I think they'd have discovered more syndromes and cures before
>> we understand wimin. No! I think we will never understand wimin. We can fake
>> understanding wimin just as they can fake a blast, but then our lies always catch up
>> with us.
>ultimately - but though they are better at the latter than we are at the
>former, luckily we dont have to be competent in the former in order to
>know whether they are competent in the latter. Being a typical desi boy I
>couldn't really care less if they had blasts or not - if they did, perhaps
>I'd reccomend they eat less mooli. Or have I got the wrong end of the
>stick again?
Close. The short end.
>> I just take the easy way out than try to understand women and lose all
>> my hair.
>the counter arguement is that you're going to lose your hair anyway, may
>as well do it with something to show for it?
Suddenly I feel enlightened. Maybe women like balder men assuming that their baldness
may be from their efforts at understanding women. Hence bald men must have learned more
about understanding women. But maybe women relish full haired men, so that they can
point out with glee later on 'That bald guy there! haha! He tried to understand me'.
Maybe I should have my head tonsured. I was damn impressed with those shick
commercials.
>> There's a whale of a diff. between understanding
>> wimin and being understanding.
>is that a bit like being sensitive and caring? Now any idiot knows that
>those are qualities women greatly admire in men they have absolutely no
>intention of ever having a relationship with!!!! I think I'll stick to
>being a cave man for a little while longer, if its all the same to you.
Absolutely. I can understand whales better. When I say being understanding (of women)
which you say is sensitive and caring,... I mean that you do not make any efforts to
understand them. I have a full head of hair as a result, not that its of any use other
than keep my head warm in winter. Trying to understand them pushes you towards being
sensitive and caring. This part is a little woozy, and very confusing. [Having two
siblings and a host of cousins, all of the female species ... definitely skews the
curve. Just when you think you have their behaviour pinned down each and every one of
them, all 100 and so pounds of inconsistency, tooth, nail and spit comes through to
jeopardise your thesis.) I lost more hair when I was younger, and foolishly tried to
understand women. I felt it was more important to protect my scalp from the sun than to
understand wimin. esp. when the've proven to be radically different even the environment
was the exact same for both.
>>The latter is easy if you just try to be human.
>i think thats back to being sensitive and caring again. Tell me Shiv, do
>many desi girls think of you as their "ideal brother"?
Not necessarily. I was talking about equality. You were talking about sheep.
Fortunately only one desi girl (she was married). I have this problem with morality, I
don't look at married women as prey. Every body else is open season. That does not
include sheep. Even desi women in sheep's clothing. I hated the damn rakhi season.
Every girl I've known in school would come up with those threads without understanding
the significance. When asked, they would say that this symbolises that you are a
protector of me (they didn't really know that it means, brother). Little did they know
that they would need protection from me. Anyway, when the significance of their actions
dawned on them, any air of romance was dead. That's why every rakhi day I dissappear.
Anyway why the heck do tamil women celebrate rakhi.... they seem to be intent on
reducing the pool I can dig into.
Anyway, the both of us are on tangents right now. Our digressing has clouded the issues
so much, I am desperately trying to figure what we were talking about. Sheep and desi
women seem to stand out starkly, and I know that both are not related. Yet this is in
the conversation. Or maybe that was the desi wimin of wanganaiki.
--
*****************************************************
I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
- Dan Quayle.
*****************************************************
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-02089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
> >
> > >well a few weeks in the california sunshine and slicking back my hair does
> > >indeed make me look like uno de chico's del barrio - however, being a good
> >
> > no es facil para ser uno de chico del barrio...tu no tienes agallas! :)
>
> Hoder! no me toces .. . por que tu pienses que no los tengo?!?!?
> Maricon de playa!!
>
Ya dejen de decir tonterias, chicos! Si van a decir estas estupideces
delante de todo el mundo, por favor limitense a una lengua que todos
podemos manejar.
You know, this really reminds me of a curious situation I had in Mexico,
when I was trying to teach the concept of ordinal numbers in English. I
lined my students up, gave them each a number, and told them that they
would have to start calling numbers, the person whose number was called
would have to continue. As badly as they were mangling the pronunciation
(feers, saycon, teer, etc.) I found that this in no way impeded them
because they understood each others' errors perfectly; I was the only one
that had no idea what they were talking about.
>
> >
> > >thirdly - you wouldnt get it even if you found out
> >
> > Now thats what I am worried about...may be some female volunteers would like
> > to explain this...there is an idiot's guide type of book for everything from
> > using DOS to making web pages...how about someone writing "Idiot's guide to
> > the mysteries of sweet sixteen parties"...anyone??
> >
> please?
I would, but you have such a nice little fantasy going about how we have all
these mysteries we're trying to keep from you, I hate to spoil it.
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-030...@lv008-139.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <dsen-02089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
[Bobby wrote]
> > > no es facil para ser uno de chico del barrio...tu no tienes agallas! :)
> >
> > Hoder! no me toces .. . por que tu pienses que no los tengo?!?!?
> > Maricon de playa!!
> >
>
[Kaberi wrote]
> Ya dejen de decir tonterias, chicos! Si van a decir estas estupideces
> delante de todo el mundo, por favor limitense a una lengua que todos
> podemos manejar.
it wasnt me who started it, so there! : ) Its my ball and I'll go home
when I want to!!!! [sulk]
>
> You know, this really reminds me of a curious situation I had in Mexico,
> when I was trying to teach the concept of ordinal numbers in English. I
> lined my students up, gave them each a number, and told them that they
> would have to start calling numbers, the person whose number was called
> would have to continue. As badly as they were mangling the pronunciation
> (feers, saycon, teer, etc.)
thats so mangled, I havent got a clue what they mean!!!!
> I found that this in no way impeded them
> because they understood each others' errors perfectly; I was the only one
> that had no idea what they were talking about.
>
come come Ms Chakrabarti, why so modest? I am sure none of them knew what
was going on. Besides, what on earth is an ordinal number?
[sweet sixteen parties]
>
> I would, but you have such a nice little fantasy going about how we have all
> these mysteries we're trying to keep from you, I hate to spoil it.
> --
aw go on, you'll be educating a whole bunch of mcp fascist desi boys and
turning them into nice clean sensitive quiche eating new men. Think of it
as a public service! Your brethren rely on you in their hour of need, do
not fail us now!!!
Daulat Sen
In article <320238...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <shivra...@intelsat.int>
wrote:
> > Daulat Sen wrote:
[sheep and desi girls in Kiwi Land]
>
> Woe is you, daulat. Are you sure you aren't in the sahara.
the barren wastelands of the Libyan desert are much more welcoming to me
than your average western raised desi woman, so I would indeed welcome a
soujourn in the sahara - to whirl again like a dervish beneath the desert
sun
>
> Ever tried skinny dipping at midnight in the bayou.
jamabalaya, catfish pie and fillet gumbo!!!!
you son of a gun! I bet you had big fun on the bayou!??!? : )
> Luckily there weren't any bobbies.
what about pamelas and sue ellens?
> But this guy on an ATV must have been really surprised. A couple of
brownies in the
> midst of a dozen honkies, all butt nekid. Must have confused him. Either
way he and the
> crocodiles all diasappeared to leave us inebriated souls do our swan song.
>
isnt there a law against frightening dumb animals where you are?
> [desi girl on train with weird look]
...
> >I think what I actually said to her was "tventy dollar jiggy jiggy?????"
> >and wiggled my eyebrows a lot. I always do that to desi girls in public
> >transport systems.
>
> AhA! that explains while 'desi girls on subways' are an endangered species.
> Did you get slippered?
>
Desi girls on the subway are far from an endangered species, infact they
seem to be thriving remarkably well. Cant quite figure it out cos given
their standard rate of hostility to desibhais and their constant skin tone
- rather than reproducing naturally, they must be cloning themselves in
secret labs somewhere.
I always knew that desigirls were smarter than others. However, I didn't
get slippered cos she figured thats exactly what i was after.
>
> > I hear the sheep of Wanganaiki are often seen in saris these days
>
> oh ho! your are treading on thin ice.
i can hear it creaking already ...
> Maybe the sheep are beckoning you. They must be
> calling it the call of the mild (or wild, if its a desi girl in sheep's
clothing).
or even a desi girl dressed like little bo peep. To tell you the truth, I
actually had a close encounter with both a sheep and a desi girl on a
mountainside this weekend. Kinda scary when you think about it. Luckily
neither were wearing saris, or I would have been deep into the mire.
Anyway, the wind was blowing and the fluffy clouds were scuttling and the
wheat was waving and the sheepies were gambolling along merrily. Aaaahh :
)
> I don't think cycling shorts and dogtags preserve the dignity of the
holy indian woman.
you got a problem with Indian women wearing dogtags?
> I think we'd rather be safer using the word indian women than include
holy in it after
> some people (non-indians) have written about the erotica involved or
associated with a
> saree.
Sridevi in Mr India ... need I say anymore?
> Must have been some desperate souls, to have been turned on by a few square
> inches of flesh. I wonder what would happen if they ever saw a nekid women.
a good desiboy would probably have closed his eyes and looked the other
way, I know I would.
> Maybe get
> blown high as hell. Note: Is that a reason why more desi girls don't
wear saris.
no, I suspect that incompetance might have a lot to do with it. Actually
a lot of desi girls love to wear saris - and go on about how sexy they
look in em, just that they never get the chance to wear them. Not that I
would know - its just heresay.
> Or maybe the sheep are using those hints and wearing sarees. Watch out
daulat, for those
> sheep that you count to fall asleep. One day one em' might be in a sari
to seduce you.
>
I think I will take the 5th at this point
[understanding women and losing your hair]
>
> Suddenly I feel enlightened.
gesundheit
>Maybe women like balder men assuming that their baldness
> may be from their efforts at understanding women.
according to the Turks, its because they are such fantastic lovers that
the women tear their hair out in the throes of passion, always knew that
the Turks were a tough bunch!
>Hence bald men must have learned more
> about understanding women. But maybe women relish full haired men, so
that they can
> point out with glee later on 'That bald guy there! haha! He tried to
understand me'.
women do a lot of things that appear strange to us mere boys ... ever
watched women shopping for shoes?
> understand women. I felt it was more important to protect my scalp from
the sun than to
> understand wimin. esp. when the've proven to be radically different even
the environment
> was the exact same for both.
>
you can always wear a hat to protect your head, despite what they say,
there is no protection against a woman. If you're gonna be had, you're
gonna be had. Aint a damn thing you can do about it. May as well accept
the inevitable and let them do what they wanna do. Make it easier on
yourself in the long run. That or get hormone treatment.
> >i think thats back to being sensitive and caring again. Tell me Shiv, do
> >many desi girls think of you as their "ideal brother"?
>
> Not necessarily. I was talking about equality. You were talking about sheep.
you dont think sheep have the right to equality?
> Fortunately only one desi girl (she was married). I have this problem
with morality, I
> don't look at married women as prey.
Thats really nice of you. You however, will always be cannon fodder to
them : ) Think of all those aunti-ji's around 10 years older than you who
flirt shamelessly with you at Puja's and other festivals - all those
subtle and unsubtle little jokes that they play at your expense ... one
born every minute : )
>Every body else is open season. That does not
> include sheep. Even desi women in sheep's clothing.
A desi woman in sheeps clothing must be checked for fangs. As for open
season ... good luck and godspeed, but do be careful to practise "safe
dandia" at Navratri. I myself do not indulge in such things ever since I
started going to prayer retreats in the Ashram. I have renounced all
earthly desire ... well, except for samosas and tamarind chutney ... but
even the sadhus cannot renounce that one.
[rakhi season]
major bummer! I dont blame you for hiding away. You could refuse and
say that you only accept them from a blood sister and not a soul sister.
> Anyway why the heck do tamil women celebrate rakhi.... they seem to be
intent on
> reducing the pool I can dig into.
you are a man and therefore you oppress women, given half a chance you'd
be a rapist, or at the very least a wife beater - you must be made to
suffer. DUH!!! : )
>
> Anyway, the both of us are on tangents right now. Our digressing has
clouded the issues
> so much, I am desperately trying to figure what we were talking about.
I dont know anymore, its all a blur ... or was it pulp? i need to find an
oasis and hear the echoes from my belly.
>Sheep and desi
> women seem to stand out starkly,
well they would, wouldn't they?
>and I know that both are not related. Yet this is in
> the conversation. Or maybe that was the desi wimin of wanganaiki.
I sometimes wonder if Wanganaiki really exists?
Daulat Sen
In article <4tr9va$9...@listserv.rice.edu>, vi...@cs.rice.edu (Vivek
Sadananda Pai) wrote:
> In article <dsen-19079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, Daulat wrote:
> |>
[General MacArthur and crumbly candy bars]
> No, I propose that we leave the Chinese to their own candy bars, and
> that'll eventually solve the situation.
thats what they said about NEFA, now look where we are
>They have a penchant for
> having everything flavored with black bean paste, including their
> candy. Once they take over Hong Kong, the bean-paste candy will
> automatically be pushed aside by the wonderful candy that will, we
> assume, be produced in the 21st century.
alternatively, your snickers bar will come in black bean paste flavour
>
> |>understand that his idea for liberating Berlin involved an armoured thrust
> |>from the East, starting in Korea ofcourse.
>
> It always involves an armored thrust, doesn't it?
>
In this day and age, if you have to make a thrust, best to make it
armoured i feel.
> The military's hardly going to recommend unarmored thrusts from the
> East, especially since penicillin's no longer as effective in
> Southeast Asia as it once was.
>
and given the military's penchant for thrusting at everything from the
East, thats probably a good thing.
> |>You're thinking of Schwingapore, after all, the Schwingapore Girl, is "a
> |>great way to fly".
>
> By the seat of your pants, I believe...
>
yup - a real rock'n'rollin' white knuckle ride for some people, I believe ...
> |>And its true - though no one ever tells you that about
> |>a third of Singapore Girls are infact boys.
>
> OK, you've confused me with that statement, not that I think that an
> explanation will clear things up. However, I'm willing to venture a
> query. Are you saying that the stewardesses aren't all female, or that
> the professionals in the country are like Keanu in "My Private Idaho"?
>
a little of both - though interestingly, since the singapore authorities
decided to rebuild the old dock front as a tourist area, they had to
import their boys dressed like girls to dance in the bars, cos the local
variety seemed to have died out under Uncle Lee's iron regimen. Not that
singapore is anything other than a fully functional democracy ofcourse!
> |>frequented bars around Subic Bay used to say.
>
> Ah, yes, the place where the US demonstrated how totally collapse a
> local economy, if I recall correctly. Well, it can be argued that war
> has that effect sometimes, but this was a peacetime withdrawal. It
> just goes to show that sometimes, things aren't quite rosy after a
> withdrawal.
>
indeed not, theres that whole fall out thing to worry about.
> |>In article <dsen-16079...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> |>Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
> |>
> |>ah yes ... the plot! What was it now? Something about Indian men wearing
> |>Indian clothes? Nah, that'd never happen!!
>
> Not until the West makes it hip to wear Indian clothes. Nehru jackets,
> anyone? I'm waiting for dhotis to come into fashion.
>
Nehru jackets sell for 110 sterling on Oxford Street in hip menswear
shops, made in Italy of course. Dhoti's might be a taller order, but I'm
game for a laugh.
> |>It was my fault for wearing those shorts I guess, slut that I am.
>
> Didn't they teach you at the ashram not to wear shorts in public in
> India? You practically advertised yourself as such.
>
I guess so, but then a boy's got a right to wear what he wants and not get
leered at.
> |>I dunno, this contributary negligence is such a terrible thing!!
>
> Definitely. You were asking for it, all right.
>
I just wanted to tease him a little, I didn't think he' d get so carried
away!! My God that sounds familiar!! Where have I heard that
before!!!!!!??!??!??!?!????
[bank clerk babe]
> |>Our eyes met a few times, but California
> |>man kept getting in the way and ruined the start of what could have been a
> |>beautiful friendship! Oh well.
>
> You in England, she in Mysore, and he in California - would never have
> worked, except perhaps in the movies.
>
he could stay in california, i would relocate to mysore ... it could work
> |>Vivek : >Some men just don't go for the Indian ideal woman, you know?
> |>
> |>does not compute, does not compute ... error, error, error, please try
> |>again.
>
> Strange but true.
>
maybe they know about the downside?
[Chinese girl in Rice with the annoying personality]
> Before your time, and really, in a way, before my time. No, she
> wouldn't have been a good choice anyway, because, well, you can
> imagine what happened with age progression. As the flexible lifestyle
> of college life, with its ample opportunity for exercise, yielded to a
> more regimented business world, I imagine that her prized assets soon
> found themselves growing, not out of some divine plan to taunt other
> Chinese women, but instead, as a natural consequence of weight gain.
yes but by then I could dump her and go and marry a virgin from a village
in Mysore - which would be rather unusual for a Bengali, but there you go.
> |>Vivek, honestly! You should know by now that women can overcome terrible
> |>personalities with amazing figures - it works for 95% of them 99% of the
> |>time. But what that statistic truly reveals is the total stupidity of
> |>men.
>
> I don't know if the point came across in the above quote, but did I
> mention that she had an annoying personality?
>
I am sure her personality improves after a few beers (in you, not in her)
[carry on up the khyber]
> |>nasty, very nasty. Other times, they were stampeded by Alexander the
> |>Great, but not that he's anything like Keanu Reeves of course.
>
> Of course not - Alexander the Great used to mount elephants and
> horses, from what I recall, or perhaps that was his Russian sister
> Catherine. What the hell was Bocephus, after all?
>
bosphorus? becuphelus? and alex never had the elephants, it was porus
whom he fought on the banks of the great Indus. apparently, afghan horse
dealers still claim that their stock is descended from becuphelus.
> |>I hope that these days, the Indian communities are getting hip and using
> |>adequate protection before flailing their dandias at all and sundry?
>
> Unfortunately, no. At the last Navratri I attended, there were these
> two guys beating their sticks against anything that happened to walk
> by. Alas, when their poor, abused sticks finally gave way, the
> resulting schism sent splinters into a fair number of people, who were
> not amused to find random bits of debris on their clothing.
>
debris from disintegrating dandias is to be avoided at all costs
mind you, did they disintegrate cos the o ring seals failed or what?
> |>ah yes, I have observed them. I once tracked a whole herd of ferocious
> |>potheads across the wide open plains of the Serengeti, braving flashfloods
> |>and Lions and other big pussies.
>
> I guess Goa is no longer the destination resort of choice for such
> herds?
yes it still is, as are a few other places now. Air travel is a wonderful
thing, man.
> |>man. Where am I again?
>
> England, land of cloudy skies and bad food.
yes we have a McDonald's on every street now
> I understand that there's a whole swarm of Bobbies
> whose sole task it is to clean off any restroom graffiti mentioning
> the former Diana Spencer.
>
which is considerable, considering the trouble she goes to in order to
publicise her self
> |>I worry about you sometimes Vivek, any fool knows that the guy who wins
> |>the headbutting contest gets to keep all the females in his harem!!!
>
> Yes, but these are the days of cooperation, so it's not uncommon to
> find groups of young turks (or young Wildebeest, for that matter)
> cooperating to drive out the old guard.
ah the age old game of life and death, the renewal of the species. Though
from what I hear about young Turks, maybe they ought to make friends with
my friend from California?
>Besides, what really is the
> difference between one Wildebeest and another. As Oscar Wilde (no
> relation) once said - they're all the same in the dark plains of
> Africa.
>
one man's wildebeest is another man's gnu
> |>[Asian newscasters on either side of the Atlantic]
> |>I think thats a bit too simply put - you will have lost the majority of
> |>our fellow readers I fear.
>
> OK, then I feel compelled to restate the last line. Connie Chung is an
> Asian female.
>
remarkable, I always assumed she was Latvian-Nigerian raised in Ecuador.
> |>You just have to face the fact that Asian
> |>women are far more able to secure jobs in the media than Asian men on
> |>grounds of merit and merit alone.
>
> Yeah, and my acquaintance with the annoying personality had 10 Chinese
> guys following her every move simply because she was the smartest
> person they had ever met.
>
no that was because she had large breasts, which is completely different.
> Uhura was also cooler than most, and she was the only Black woman on
> TV those days, but we still see more Black women on TV today than we
> see Asian men.
>
quite frankly Vivek, I would rather see more mighty fine black women on
television than asian men ... oops, was that the punch line??!?!?
> |>Well, I am sure that Mom and Pop in Pitchfork Junction, Idaho, don't want
> |>faggots shoved down their throats at certain times of the evening. I know
> |>I don't.
>
> You apparently haven't been to the farm states much. A friend of mine
> from Nebraska tells me that wife-swapping and devil worship are pretty
> common, because, well, there's not a whole lot to do in those states.
>
and who can blame them? Afterall, you have to find something to occupy
your mind beyond television?
> |>Well, I pretend to be Indian according to some people.
>
> In the words of Me'shell Ndegeocello, "If that's your bhai-friend, he
> wasn't last night, coconut". Well, almost her words.
>
incidentally, what starts with a "C" ends in a "T" , has "U" and "N" in
the middle and is brown and hairy and has wet flesh inside?
> |>I also pretend to be white according to other people.
>
> If that's your bhai-friend, if that's your bhai-friend, if that's your
> bhai-friend, he wasn't last night.
>
I was very very very desi last night - not that you could tell, cos I look
all white, its all the others, they're the ones who let the side down, I
have nothing to do with them, honest, its them, not me. please let me fit
in!!!!
> Most of Meera's hate mail seems to be from guys who are angry at the
> fact that she refuses to even consider pleasing them.
well, we only have her word for that. also she seems to think that
atleast one woman wants to sleep with her, which is intriguing.
> Jay Stevens is the exact
> opposite - he's the reason so many Indian women pursue white men.
>
I knew there had to be a logical reason somewhere along the line!!! PHEW!!!!
> When I think about the past, I always think "well, it could have been
> worse." After all, the British merely left the country plundered and
> in a state of disarray. They could have easily taken the sheep back
> with them as a show of conquest, which would have meant no wool for
> the new republic.
>
thankfully Gandhi-ji taught us to use the spinning wheel, so we shall
never want for cloth again.
> Speaking of which, Republica has finally made it to the states (well,
> their CD single for "Ready To Go" has), and it's catching on. Now, my
> question - Elastica, Psychotica, and now Republica - what is it with
> the British and groups names ending with the suffix "ica"?
>
it makes it easier for American youth to understand
>
> |>I knew this Columbian girl whose
> |>father was German - she was always very reticent to talk about family
> |>history ...
>
> I'm sure it must be difficult saying "My father was a war criminal" at
> social gatherings.
>
she was ok with saying her uncle was a coke dealer, so a small matter of
"my father was a nazi who experimented on small children" couldn't have
been too difficult?
> |>Vivek : >To buy a sheep? What's the going rate?
> |>
> |>well according to my trusty guide on Central Asian customs, it says the
> |>conversion rate is : 20 Sheep to an Ass.
>
> Jay Stevens is hardly worth 20 sheep.
>
so is a sheep worth 20 JS's?
> |>5 Asses to a Bullock.
>
> And Sandra Bullock is worth much more than 5 Jay Stevens's.
>
that is indeed true, but I have gone off her lately.
> |>3
> |>Bullocks to a Horse, 5 Horses to a Camel, 10 Camels to a Wife, and 2 Wives
> |>to a Rifle. Can we work back from the current price of a rifle?
>
> Sure. 1 Sheep is 1/30,000th of a rifle.
>
hey that means i could have a huge flock of sheepies!!!! This is good
news, I think I shall go at once to Wanganaiki and set up a wool shearing
station!!!
> |>Every now and again I
> |>need to go for top ups to the ashram cos my spirtualism seems to fade
> |>away. Besides, it takes a lot of effort to get Great Surya's radiance to
> |>emanate from my eyes these days.
>
> Watch it - you know what happened to the last person who called for
> Surya, don't you?
>
no, pray tell
> |>Vivek : >However, turning tricks at Rs. 10 a pop in some shack is
hardly what
> |>>one would call a smart endeavor. Even in the US, the paanwallas make
> |>>about $0.50 profit per paan, so that's about Rs. 18 right there.
> |>
> |>so what you're really saying is that the Purchasing Power Parity rule
> |>doesnt appear to hold in this instance? Many economists will be mightily
> |>displeased.
>
> Most of the US economists have no idea what a Paan is, nor have they
> flown to India to pay Rs. 10 for tricks in a dirty shack. Usually,
> they just go to Goa, where both are included as part of their package
> tour.
>
which is the whole Indian experience wrapped up in one neat bundle, we go
in, we get what we want, we get out. simple.
> |>no I don't, and who is Deepak Chopra?
>
> He's something of a rage here.
what? like road rage?
>Doctor turned Hindu-ish new-agey guru
> type. He apparently also believes that a little vigorous activity is
> good for the body...
>
something to do with expelling vital toxins no doubt?
[aryan nation mountain retreat]
> |>
> |>I am sure that once they understand we are brothers under the skin, they
>
> And just to make sure, they might skin us...
>
maybe if we sent connie chung up ahead as a peace offering?
> |>will welcome us with open arms and love us to bits. Afterall, we shall
> |>have great Surya's radiance about our noble persons, no?
>
> And if not that, you can show them that you still carry forth the
> religion of the Mohenjo-Daro days, or show them your Harappo. That'll
> make them welcome you...
>
My Harappo stays exactly where it is, thank you very much.
> |>I am thinking of embarking on a
> |>teerth yatra to Southern California to pay my respects to Meera-ji.
> |>Anyone wanna join me?
>
> Uh, what sort of teertha yatra would that be?
>
the regular kind - involving prayers, sacrifice and penance.
> |>[Winnie Mandela]
> |>well, those chaps in the soccer team used to train in their spare time as
> |>"security personnel" so I guess thats ok -
>
> Yes, you know how it's so hard to get the right-sized weights in South
> Africa for proper soccer training. After all, the average soccer
> playing has to throw the ball in over his head using both arms, and if
> you can't find a ball, then I guess an anti-ANC kid will do, eh?
>
especially if he's been bullied by the blankes politzie to confess all
>
> Ah ha - this is where you are wrong. If you grab someone by their
> ankles and drop them onto the ground head-first, the physics of the
> situation would suggest that they don't bounce, but that they
> collapse. In Stompie's case, not only did he collapse, but he didn't
> bounce back.
>
and to make sure, they tried several times
> |>The price of the life of a black street kid
> |>in Jo'burg hasnt really gone up much over the years. Judging by current
> |>trends, it aint gonna either.
>
> Apparently, it's not worth a whole lot in the states either, because
> when Winnie visited the US after that incident, none of the copious
> press coverage even alluded to it.
>
more people die in South Africa each year from violence than in Bosnia -
but who cares eh?
> |>I read it again too and found no inconsistency. Suggests to me that you
> |>have a repressed fascination with Nelson Mandela, confess now and be
> |>pardoned.
>
> I have a strange fascination with Nelson Mandela's ability to dance
> the toi-toi, even at his advanced age. I predict it will be the next
> hot dance craze now that the "Macarena" has died out.
>
his dancing is pretty good - have you seen Boris Vodkaskin dancing on
stage at a Moscow rock festival ... no wonder he's always on these
exhausted retreats at the Dacha!
[bush language]
> |>yes you did, I was looking forward to a detailed treatise on the subject.
>
> Perhaps you need to scout around London and find yourself a
> bushwoman.
how do you know that I have not? Besides, I am not very comfortable with
you saying "woman" and "bush" at the same time. Makes me think about
Barbara.
>She will, no doubt, be able to tell you how to
> appropriately express an excited click state.
CLICK!!!!
>Of course, how you're to
> find one is a different matter, since asking random women if they're
> from the bush is likely to get you a few cold stares and perhaps some
> slaps.
and just one slip of the tongue and you are really in the shit.
>
> |>Daulat : |>yeah, blowing my cover is even worse than blowing strawberries
> |>Vivek : >or sheep?
> |>
> |>actually sheep get this condition where they get gas trapped inside them
> |>and they start to inflate like a balloon and get blown up. Poor things.
>
> Sheep and Englishmen. Hence their desire to search the world for spices.
>
no no no - its sheep and welshmen, aussies or kiwis. english men are
either hooligans or like those people in Upstairs Downstairs
> |>What you have to do then is to make a small incision with a penknife
> |>beneath their rib cages and let them deflate, doesnt seem to harm them
> |>otherwise. Under the circumstances, I'd go for the strawberries.
>
> Yes, strawberries, definitely.
>
making incisions in strawberries is easier too, no?
[trip to the ashram]
> |>Yes I did, would you like some Vibhuti? Its quite fresh.
>
> No thanks - I've figured out that trick, and now I can produce it on
> my own. However, I did get a haircut some time back, so, alas, I don't
> think I can get rich off that magic trick.
>
theres a lot of scope in wearing afro's you know
> |>Carry a book
> |>of poems around if you can - thats if none of the other guys beats you up
> |>first.
>
> Tried it - Allen Ginsburg's "Howl" just doesn't work, for obvious
> reasons. Maya Angelou's "Why the caged bird sings" also has a
> detrimental effect, not that it's a failure, but that it fails to have
> the desired effect.
>
try Japanese suicide poems, thats much better
> Being gay also worked for Morrisey, but that doesn't imply that I'm
> going to try that either.
>
why not?
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-05089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
> In article <kaberi19-030...@lv008-139.starnetinc.com>,
> kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> [Kaberi wrote]
>
> > Ya dejen de decir tonterias, chicos! Si van a decir estas estupideces
> > delante de todo el mundo, por favor limitense a una lengua que todos
> > podemos manejar.
>
>
> it wasnt me who started it, so there! : ) Its my ball and I'll go home
> when I want to!!!! [sulk]
Now where have I heard this refrain before? Wait, don't tell me...when I
was teaching high school kids last year...and when I was teaching junior
high the year before that...and when I was teaching elementary school the
year before that...
> > I found that this in no way impeded them
> > because they understood each others' errors perfectly; I was the only one
> > that had no idea what they were talking about.
Just like the language you guys are speaking appears to be Spanish, and
yet I don't know what you're trying to say. Why is that, I wonder?:-)
> >
>
> come come Ms Chakrabarti, why so modest? I am sure none of them knew what
> was going on.
Believe me, when a teacher tells you that she cannot understand her
students speaking the language she is allegedly teaching them, there is no
modesty involved; it's humiliation pure and simple.
> > (feers, saycon, teer, etc.)
>
> thats so mangled, I havent got a clue what they mean!!!!
first, second, third, etc.
>Besides, what on earth is an ordinal number?
Shame on you. I shouldn't have to explain such simplicities to a desi
boy, and a college graduate at that! Didn't you learn anything in those
vaunted snooty English schools of yours?
>
> [sweet sixteen parties]
>
> > I would, but you have such a nice little fantasy going about how we
have all
> > these mysteries we're trying to keep from you, I hate to spoil it.
>
> aw go on, you'll be educating a whole bunch of mcp fascist desi boys and
> turning them into nice clean sensitive quiche eating new men. Think of it
> as a public service! Your brethren rely on you in their hour of need, do
> not fail us now!!!
Oh, and of course my "brethren" have been soooo supportive to me when I
needed them. For example, when I take the trouble to keep them updated on
my activities and go so far as to send them the labors of my literary
efforts for their approval, do they write me back and tell me what they
think? Nooooooooo. To quote the divine Miss Jackson (and I'm sure to back
up this fantasy you have about manipulative ungrateful women) "What have
you done for me lately?"
Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
of their own heritage than white mcps ("white mcps", isn't that a
redundancy?)
and I'll think up some nice little mystery to feed you about those
birthday parties (though I warn you, fiction is not my forte).
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-02089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
>if quality was the most important thing then I would only ever date
>Maharashtrian babes like Madhuri, Sonali, Mamta, Namrata ... etc. But
>since that seems not to be the case, I guess there must indeed be another
>factor.
Hmm...well I have heard of the existence of a formula in which when a large
enough quantity is multiplied by an unknown factor, it is possible to
derive very high quality from it...however, this factor is very hard to
figure out and i'm afraid i am just not bright enough to figure it out...
[women in art]
>not to mention those Rubenesque rotundities ... most cuddlemongous indeed
on the other hand, if you prefer the strong, assertive type, then Manet's
"Olympia" must be your fav...
[all cool greeks/romans were gay of course]
>considering that they were all gay or bisexual that doesnt really help me
>very much Bobby. You are further ruining my reputation with
>aforementioned Maharashtrian babes.
on the contrary, it should help your situation with the babes...you can hold
a competition to see which one has the power to turn gay men into heterosexual.
Women like that kind of challenge cause that means a perfect man...after all,
women always complain that the best men are gay...so a gay turned hetero is
jackpot...assuming he doesn't pick up he evil traits of heteros along with
their sexual orientation....
>[singing with desi girls around lakes]
>
>> Hmm...may be next time you should try the singing alone...may I suggest the
>> song 'Girl, you'll be a woman soon...' by the band Urge Overkill.
>
>Bobby, do you find it difficult dating Indian women? Just curious? btw :
umm...umm...umm...umm...
does that answer your question? :)
>when you say soon ... are you implying that there may be some legal
>complications in this situation?
no, not really...law has no power in thsese matters...just as Marquis de Sade!
>> I still don't get this whole indian male fascination with Madhuri
>
>kill yourself. Its an option
I have considered it many times...but it would hurt my mom's feelings just
too much...so for her sake, i continue to play this pointless game...
[ex-girlfriend in a lake...its very serious]
>Loch Ness i think it was ... now there really is a monster in there!!!
you mean I could actually meet a real life english monster???...its getting
REALLY tempting now...i wonder how it measures up against its american
counter-parts...
[indian women as endangered species??]
>But you know that for the Great White Hunters, endangered species have
>always made great trophies - allegedly. But that was in the bad old days
>of the Raj, these days in the new Republic, such things are not
>permitted. The National Park system is really quite capable these days.
but one way or another, the endangered species are still caged...put on public
display...and forced to submit to will of their captors...i bet even whipped
and beaten sometimes...now in some other context, this almost sounds kinky
but that of course is not the case here...it is truly deplorable what happens
to them...and thats why I support animals rights ppl!!
[the mystery of goofy]
>they might, but have you got 5 years of meditation time to spare to find
>out? I would sacrifice that time for the secrets of room temperature
>fusion, but to know about Goofy ... I don't think so.
You are kidding right??? Have you no idea what are the implications of solving
the Goofy Enigma?? In case you didn't know, Disney created Goofy's dubious
nature on purpose...its a conspiracy...it keeps all the great minds of the
world occupied...they are all trying to figure out what goofy is...and in
the meantime, Disney is slowly but surely taking over the minds of younger
generations using subliminal messages in its movies!! By the way, microsoft
and McDonalds are in on the deal too but i won't get into the details here
because its not safe...
>[daulat parties with 5 air india hosties]
>[bobby implies that untoward happenings are going in air india planes
>hence the smile on the face of the mascot]
>
>
>If those ladies were here (assuming they were not a figment of my
>imagination] they would slap you very very hard for saying such things. I
A friend of mine is sitting here with me reading this and he is into
s'n'm so he wants to know if he could be slapped in my place! :)
>saw them (o r imagined them probably) fending off the amorous attentions
>of a number of young (and not so young) men that evening ... lets just say
thats is truly sad...some guys are just so damn rude and inconsiderate...i
mean how would they like it if a group of women made crass remarks at them,
stared at them constantly with a longing look in their eyes, and worse, tried
to brush against them and grab them even?!!.....
hmm...on second thought, nevermind...
>that they know how to deal with these situations. Which is more than can
>be said of a number of people on this newsgroup. But then thats the way
>life and the net is - somewhere there is reality, somewhere there is
>fantasy.
My problem is i always tend to mistake the latter for the former...but thats
another story...
[weapon of choice]
>that may be, but the Lee Enfield 0.303 is a true classic infantry weapon,
>accurate to over a mile, capable of rough usage and simplicity itself to
>maintain. A convenient size and weight and very handy for beating the
>crap out of people when you run out of bullets. It was for many years the
>Afghan's favourite weapon till the AK-47 supplanted it. However, the 303
>still retains great popularity as a sniper rifle. Not to mention its
>ubiquitous usage in India amongst law enforcement agencies.
well if you REALLY want to get into favorites, I'd go for a sword...i just
love them...they are long, sharp, durable, can be sharpened over and over,
and run on raw man-power (or woman-power depending on who is doing the
wielding)...guns don't even come close...anybody can use mechanical devices...
but it takes a MAN to use a sword (or a WOMAN...must be PC!!)...pure, raw,
primal energy based weapon...
>>....as for
>> Vandit queen, you may not want to risk it...who knows once she gets started
>> she may go one inch too much and you'd be never able to enjoy s'n'm again!
>>
>I think the person in question is none other than our good friend the
>Marquis - I wonder if he has finsihed administering the blows from his
>Bull's Pizzle upon the good Bishop's derriere yet?
oh boy...I hope his holiness is not reading!!...if lightening is going to
strike, please God make sure it is on Daulat in england...i am innocent!! In
fact, I even defended the poor, and obviously innocent, priests who were
accused of molesting young boys. Clearly, that was your will so the boys should
be happy that they had a chance to serve you.
PS I bet 95% of ppl reading this have no idea just what the heck is a pizzle
or a derriere...of course I didn't either being a good little boy...I had
to ask the Marquis himself who gave a very, umm...shall we say informative...
explanation. Wow, so many thing educational opportunities in this thread...
[daulat in all his not-so-glorious glory]
>thats a splendid idea - but normally I use seal blubber underpants, just
sheesh...why don't you just wear fur!!!!!
>like those caveman Viking dudes. very effective when you're floating in
>the North Sea I find. Mind you, there's so many Oil Rigs there now that
I'm sure you have other floatation devices...try looking under the bed...
>you could happily hop from one to the other all the way from England to
>Norway these days.
cool...not only do you gave money on a plane ticket, you also get exercise...
which i think most indians could use more of...
>
>I have a feeling I'm going to be very honoured tonight : )
well its all due to your good karma so keep up the good work! :)...
[no s'n'm allowed here]
>I think that might be wise - especially since its all over in a flash;
>she's stronger than most men I know. which is kinda strangely erotic, but
>then i might get flamed for being turned on by white girls so I better not
>get into it.
hmmm...to avoid being flamed, you ought to point that often indian women could
also accomplish the same thing as this white woman...of course, they usually
use a bailena (spelling??) to help them out but thats ok...after all, bailena
is a very useful tool...not only to make rotis (chapatis...or whatever you
guys call them in bengali) but some other uses too...i think meera pointed
out one use i had never even considered before in one of her posts some
time ago but thats another topic....
>> no es facil para ser uno de chico del barrio...tu no tienes agallas! :)
>
>Hoder! no me toces .. . por que tu pienses que no los tengo?!?!?
>Maricon de playa!!
por favor, no tiene enojo mi amigo...tu no tienes agallas en comparacion de
los mujeres de nuestro pais...y no es solo tu...yo tambien!...y todos los
hombres...eso es la vida...
>
>giving to a worthy cause is a noble thing. Just ask Pat Robertson.
>
BTW, did I mention I am a worthy cause?
[buying wines]
>>
>thats a good idea. actually a lot of desi girls do ask for a dry white
>wine, but then they get very confused and embarrased if you say
>"sauvignon blanc or chardonnay? Or perhaps a naughty little semillion?".
>So I fear that this whole god thing might be a little ropy. Personally I
>prefer girls that can swill lager and eat kebabs.
I like vodka myself though all my freinds are big on beer...again, its the
whole quality over quantity thing...
["May be" works with sheep but not women]
>it works pretty well with the sheep. Atleast in Wanganaiki. so there.
But you are not in Wanganaiki anymore...and i would think available sheep
aren't as easy to come by in england...so may be its a good idea to focus
on pleasing women instead...
>> [sweet sixteen mystery]
>
>you're just making it harder for yourself, when they get you, they are
>gonna do you over big time!
you promise?? :)
[BTW, this comment is from my friend...you can see what a sick mind he has]
[someone explaining sweet 16 mystery]
>please?
pretty please with sugar on top....and a unblown cherry too!!
[I have found my long lost cousin at last!]
>auntie and uncle gladlly accept your pranams, and i look forward to the
>bhujias greatly. I have given up on the laddus since they represent the
>oppression of the sugared classes against the struggling proletarian
>masses - who with their sweat and blood have made the bhujias their own
>snack of struggle.
What a coincidence! I don't eat laddus either...my reason is that they are
simply just too damn oily!!...but you reason is much more noble...
>
>Jai Hind!
sare jahan se aacha (except for southern california), hindustan hamara...
[Sylvia Plath is reborn!]
>Happiness is a fleeting moment we store away - a rope to cling to when the
>deluge of doom overtakes our dark hearts.
>(was that good bobby? will the poetry chicks dig that?!??!)
most definitely!! very well blanced...you portray yourself as the pessimistic,
dark, artist type who has given up on finding happiness, or at least has a
cynical attitude towards attaining it, but yet the whole rope to cling
metaphors serves to point out that you can still be saved...deep down in your
ocean of sorrow, buried within the wreckage of your desires and feelings, still
lies the tiny flame of hope which lights the way for any brave woman who
may dare to undertake the journey and use this flame to once again start the
conflagration of optimism in you and thus making possible the rebirth of
your child-like innocence and returning you to the level of naivete that
you had when you first emerged from the womb!! I'm just surprised how you
portrayed all this in so few words! That truly is a sign of a great poet!
(now how was that for an analysis? will the I-will-skip-the-reading-and-
get-the-analysis-from-cliff-notes chicks dig that???!!)
Bobby Singh
In article <kaberi19-060...@lv008-140.starnetinc.com>,
Kaberi Chakrabarty <kabe...@starnetinc.com> wrote:
>
>Now where have I heard this refrain before? Wait, don't tell me...when I
>was teaching high school kids last year...and when I was teaching junior
>high the year before that...and when I was teaching elementary school the
>year before that...
>
wow...you are moving up the teaching ladder quite rapidly...let's see...at
this rate, you must be teaching community college this year, university
level next year, and graduate school the year after that!! Very impressive! :)
>Just like the language you guys are speaking appears to be Spanish, and
>yet I don't know what you're trying to say. Why is that, I wonder?:-)
Hmm...what part didn't you understand?? Unlike the women who won't reveal
the mystery of sweet sixteen, we men have no secrets. WE'll gladly clarify
anything you want.
>
>Believe me, when a teacher tells you that she cannot understand her
>students speaking the language she is allegedly teaching them, there is no
>modesty involved; it's humiliation pure and simple.
well at leasst you don't have an ego problem which is always a good thing...
>> > (feers, saycon, teer, etc.)
>>
>> thats so mangled, I havent got a clue what they mean!!!!
>
>first, second, third, etc.
what do you know...I was right about the ordinal numbers after all!...cool!
>
>>Besides, what on earth is an ordinal number?
>
>Shame on you. I shouldn't have to explain such simplicities to a desi
>boy, and a college graduate at that! Didn't you learn anything in those
>vaunted snooty English schools of yours?
Obviosuly, english schools aren't nearly as good as american schools! :)
Though I bet, english schools have much better graffiti written on their
bathroom walls...i shall have to test this theory out sometime...
>Oh, and of course my "brethren" have been soooo supportive to me when I
>needed them. For example, when I take the trouble to keep them updated on
>my activities and go so far as to send them the labors of my literary
>efforts for their approval, do they write me back and tell me what they
>think? Nooooooooo. To quote the divine Miss Jackson (and I'm sure to back
>up this fantasy you have about manipulative ungrateful women) "What have
>you done for me lately?"
ha...ha...daulat is in trouble!! :) I, ONTH, have no idea what is being
talked about here but I think thats how its suppose to be.
PS I don't know about Ms. Jackson being divine...The Smiths may be...but
whatever...
>Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
>of their own heritage than white mcps ("white mcps", isn't that a
>redundancy?)
I got to know what mcps stands for!
>and I'll think up some nice little mystery to feed you about those
>birthday parties (though I warn you, fiction is not my forte).
what?? so there is no REAL mystery??!! Then what the heck is the big deal
about them?? Why not sweet 15 or sweet 17?? why 16?? Do you expect us to
believe that?? Next thing you'll be telling mehat Goofy is really just
a dog dressed up funny!! Come on...how naive do you think we are??!! We want
THE TRUTH! And don't be afraid to tell it...for it shall set you free!!
Bobby Singh
In article <kaberi19-030...@lv008-139.starnetinc.com>,
chicos??!! por favor!! Nosotros somos hombres!! La palabra <<chico>> es
muy infantil para describir daualt y yo!
> Si van a decir estas estupideces
estupideces??!! aye caramba!! nosotros estamos discutiendo muchas cosas
importantes sobre la vida y ud. piensa que las son estupideces! :( Es
la verdad que no hay justicia en el mundo! :(
>delante de todo el mundo, por favor limitense a una lengua que todos
>podemos manejar.
pero mi buena mujer, NO HAY una lengua que todos podemos manejar...los
hombres no pueden comprender las mujeres nunca...esto es la conclusion de
las mujeres que escriben en esto newsgroup...
>You know, this really reminds me of a curious situation I had in Mexico,
>when I was trying to teach the concept of ordinal numbers in English. I
>lined my students up, gave them each a number, and told them that they
>would have to start calling numbers, the person whose number was called
>would have to continue. As badly as they were mangling the pronunciation
>(feers, saycon, teer, etc.) I found that this in no way impeded them
>because they understood each others' errors perfectly; I was the only one
>that had no idea what they were talking about.
If it makes you feel better, I have no idea what me and daulat are talking
about either! :)...i just continue the dialogue cause i am really bored
and i lack the intelligence and self-discipline to force myself to read
Meera's brilliant insights instead...
[explaining the Sweet Sixteen mystery]
>
>I would, but you have such a nice little fantasy going about how we have all
>these mysteries we're trying to keep from you, I hate to spoil it.
Now really, thats the wrong attitude...we should all help each other out...
in the words of the great national hero Rodney King, "can't we all just
get along??". I think we can...but that requires mutual understanding...
explaining the sweet sixteen mystery would not only be a small step for
men and women on this newsgrp, but also a giant leap for all mankind.
Daulat Sen
In article <4u6use$l...@news.service.uci.edu>, eab...@rigel.oac.uci.edu
(Bobby Singh) wrote:
>
> chicos??!! por favor!! Nosotros somos hombres!! La palabra <<chico>> es
> muy infantil para describir daualt y yo!
>
hey hey hey I wouldnt be too sure about that!!! Maybe Kaberi knows us
better than even we give ourselves credit for?
>
> > Si van a decir estas estupideces
>
> estupideces??!! aye caramba!! nosotros estamos discutiendo muchas cosas
> importantes sobre la vida y ud. piensa que las son estupideces! :( Es
> la verdad que no hay justicia en el mundo! :(
>
si, no hay ninguna. : ( que pena ...
I always get in trouble for mixing up my "ser" and "ester" with "la
vida". For example I never know when to say "La vida esta dura" or "La
vida es dura" - with one version I get a sympathetic shrug of the
shoulders and with the other I get mischeivious smiles from Spanish women
- who incidentally are almost like western raised desi women in looks and
temperament, but not quite as confused. And whats more they think all
desi boys are Sandokan, the Tiger of Bengal and hence are very interesting
to talk to at parties. But I digress.
>
> >delante de todo el mundo, por favor limitense a una lengua que todos
> >podemos manejar.
>
> pero mi buena mujer,
eres una chauvanista!!
> NO HAY una lengua que todos podemos manejar...los
> hombres no pueden comprender las mujeres nunca...esto es la conclusion de
> las mujeres que escriben en esto newsgroup...
>
face the facts, men are just too dumb to ever understand a woman - so its
not just this newsgroup, but merely a reflection of life, and as such "la
vida yo lo he apprendido vivir a si, bamboleo, bambolea ..."
[confused in mexico]
>
> If it makes you feel better, I have no idea what me and daulat are talking
> about either! :)...i just continue the dialogue cause i am really bored
> and i lack the intelligence and self-discipline to force myself to read
> Meera's brilliant insights instead...
Meera's brilliant insights are occaisonally a little too brilliant for
even my brain (the size of a planet) and I often miss the point. What I
find more fascinating is the responses she gets. I sometimes wonder
whether we should award her some sort of UN humanitarian award for
enriching and developing the lives of countless thousands who lurk or
blurt all over this newsgroup. But what I am truly curious about is where
the hell does she find the time to write so much?!?!?!??!?!??!
One other thing bothers me ... where did she get this thing about girls
with "nipples like peanuts"? I haven't been able to eat peanuts since I
read that. Or maybe I am just demonstrating my lack of familiarity with
desi girls?
>
> [explaining the Sweet Sixteen mystery]
> >
> >I would, but you have such a nice little fantasy going about how we have all
> >these mysteries we're trying to keep from you, I hate to spoil it.
>
> Now really, thats the wrong attitude...we should all help each other out...
> in the words of the great national hero Rodney King, "can't we all just
> get along??". I think we can...but that requires mutual understanding...
> explaining the sweet sixteen mystery would not only be a small step for
> men and women on this newsgrp, but also a giant leap for all mankind.
>
>
> Bobby Singh
If a woman explains to us about this sweet sixteen thing, I will tell you
all about the male bonding ceremonies around team sports and locker room
rituals. I Promise.
Bobby Singh
In article <dsen-05089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>[Kaberi wrote]
>
>> Ya dejen de decir tonterias, chicos! Si van a decir estas estupideces
>> delante de todo el mundo, por favor limitense a una lengua que todos
>> podemos manejar.
>
>
>when I want to!!!! [sulk]
Well it sure wasn't me!! I neither started this whole thread, nor the
talking in spanish...well actually I don't remember about the latter...I
may have done that...but only because I am forgetting the spanish I
learned (as probably obvious from the mistakes) so I really need the
practice...
[snip]
>
>come come Ms Chakrabarti, why so modest? I am sure none of them knew what
>was going on. Besides, what on earth is an ordinal number?
hmm...if i remember correctly from my youth, they are numbers use to count
items in place or something like that...so for example, first, second, third
are ordinal numbers...but i could be wrong...
>
>aw go on, you'll be educating a whole bunch of mcp fascist desi boys and
now what does mcp stand for??
Vivek Sadananda Pai
>kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
>> because they understood each others' errors perfectly; I was the only one
>> that had no idea what they were talking about.
>
>was going on. Besides, what on earth is an ordinal number?
The Cardinal numbers are those used by the more advanced members of
the Catholic Church's clergy ladder. I believe that the numbers, in
order of importance, are the Papal numbers, the Bishopal numbers, the
Cardinal numbers, the Paternal numbers, and then, for the layman, the
Ordinal numbers.
Two things that this does not explain, however, is what is a Cardinal
sin, and why is the average Joe called a "layman," even if unmarried?
For that matter, why is he called Joe?
>[sweet sixteen parties]
>> I would, but you have such a nice little fantasy going about how we have
>> all these mysteries we're trying to keep from you, I hate to spoil it.
>
>aw go on, you'll be educating a whole bunch of mcp fascist desi boys and
>turning them into nice clean sensitive quiche eating new men. Think of it
>as a public service! Your brethren rely on you in their hour of need, do
>not fail us now!!!
In the Old South, many years prior to a sweet 16 party, a respectable
girl would have what was called a "pony party". Let's just say it
involved a bunch of girls and a pony, and leave it at that. The details
are sort of sketchy, but I believe it was to establish some sort of
connection to Catherine the Great.
Many years later, the girls on the social register would have their
"Coming Out" parties, which introduced them to society. Of course,
nowadays, many girls have "coming out" parties, but I'm not sure that
these girls are on the social register, nor are they likely to be
debutantes. I believe Candice Gingrich (Newt's sister) had one of
these parties. Newt, of course, doesn't approve of his sister's
"lifestyle choice."
-Vivek
P.S. I'd never eat quiche - egg products and all, you know.
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-06089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
> I always get in trouble for mixing up my "ser" and "ester" with "la
> vida". For example I never know when to say "La vida esta dura" or "La
> vida es dura" - with one version I get a sympathetic shrug of the
> shoulders and with the other I get mischeivious smiles from Spanish women
> - who incidentally are almost like western raised desi women in looks and
> temperament, but not quite as confused. And whats more they think all
> desi boys are Sandokan, the Tiger of Bengal and hence are very interesting
> to talk to at parties. But I digress.
Since this is not the place for a Spanish lesson (then again, neither is
it the place for the vast majority of articles that have been infesting
scb lately, but that doesn't seem to stop anyone) I will give you the
Cliff's Notes version: (assuming that you would prefer to be grammatically
correct, although you may prefer to make silly mistakes in front of the
Latinas to garner their sympathy)
always use "ser" with "la vida"; don't ask why unless you want to get into
a philosophical discussion on the nature of life.
> >
> > If it makes you feel better, I have no idea what me and daulat are talking
> > about either! :)...i just continue the dialogue cause i am really bored
> > and i lack the intelligence and self-discipline to force myself to read
> > Meera's brilliant insights instead...
>
> Meera's brilliant insights are occaisonally a little too brilliant for
> even my brain (the size of a planet) and I often miss the point. But
what I am truly curious about is where
> the hell does she find the time to write so much?!?!?!??!?!??!
>
> One other thing bothers me ... where did she get this thing about girls
> with "nipples like peanuts"?
Ewww! You know, I was just getting ready to ask who this Meera person was
and why she (?) keeps coming up in conversation so often, but I have
decided I would rather not know.
>
> If a woman explains to us about this sweet sixteen thing, I will tell you
> all about the male bonding ceremonies around team sports and locker room
> rituals. I Promise.
Puh-leeze. As if we had the slightest interest in the grunting and
butt-patting you do in your smelly changing rooms. The thing about most
"male bonding" things that are generally mysteries to women (football
(particularly the American variety), power tools, the Three Stooges, etc.)
is that they're not the kind of thing women have any particular interest
in appreciating.
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <4u70ku$m...@news.service.uci.edu>, eab...@rigel.oac.uci.edu
(Bobby Singh) wrote:
> In article <kaberi19-060...@lv008-140.starnetinc.com>,
> Kaberi Chakrabarty <kabe...@starnetinc.com> wrote:
> >
> >Now where have I heard this refrain before? Wait, don't tell me...when I
> >was teaching high school kids last year...and when I was teaching junior
> >high the year before that...and when I was teaching elementary school the
> >year before that...
> >
>
> wow...you are moving up the teaching ladder quite rapidly...let's see...at
> this rate, you must be teaching community college this year, university
> level next year, and graduate school the year after that!! Very impressive! :)
Actually, I consider these demotions of a sort; the older the students
get, the fewer bright eyes and brains that soak up information like
sponges you encounter, and the more smart-alecky fuzzy-brained droopy-eyed
robots you see. I'm going to have to get out of this business before I
start teaching students who are older than I am.
> >
> >Believe me, when a teacher tells you that she cannot understand her
> >students speaking the language she is allegedly teaching them, there is no
> >modesty involved; it's humiliation pure and simple.
>
> well at leasst you don't have an ego problem which is always a good thing...
Ego? What's that?
> ha...ha...daulat is in trouble!! :) I, ONTH, have no idea what is being
> talked about here but I think thats how its suppose to be.
Whew! For a moment there I thought I had given away too much. You know,
the trouble with being a nice guy is that you can never give it up. One
false moment, and you have ruined your rep forever, being that women are
always prepared to believe the worst about a man.
> >Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
> >of their own heritage than white mcps ("white mcps", isn't that a
> >redundancy?)
>
> I got to know what mcps stands for!
Male chauvinist pig. Now, what does ONTH stand for?
>
>
> >and I'll think up some nice little mystery to feed you about those
> >birthday parties (though I warn you, fiction is not my forte).
>
> what?? so there is no REAL mystery??!! Then what the heck is the big deal
> about them?? Why not sweet 15 or sweet 17?? why 16??
Talk to a latina and they'll tell you that the most important birthday is
the 15th. Quinceaneras, you know.
Do you expect us to
> believe that?? Next thing you'll be telling mehat Goofy is really just
> a dog dressed up funny!! Come on...how naive do you think we are??!! We want
> THE TRUTH! And don't be afraid to tell it...for it shall set you free!!
OK, the truth is, I never had a sweet sixteen party, or a 17th, or a
21st. My mother threw a huge party for my first birthday, decided it was
too much trouble for nothing, and I never had a birthday party again.
There, <sniff> do you feel better now? <sob> And just when I had convinced
myself that turning 30 was a good thing. Waaaaah!
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-070...@lv008-158.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <dsen-06089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
[the usage or ser and estar with la vida]
>
> Since this is not the place for a Spanish lesson ...
> always use "ser" with "la vida"; don't ask why unless you want to get into
> a philosophical discussion on the nature of life.
so looking helplessly stupid and saying "esta dura" to Spanish speaking
women with a little boy lost grin on my face and a beer in my hand is not
a good idea then? ; )
> >
> > One other thing bothers me ... where did she get this thing about girls
> > with "nipples like peanuts"?
>
> Ewww! You know, I was just getting ready to ask who this Meera person was
> and why she (?) keeps coming up in conversation so often, but I have
> decided I would rather not know.
>
I think we all have an obligation to get to the bottom of this mystery.
By whatever means necessary.
> >
> > If a woman explains to us about this sweet sixteen thing, I will tell you
> > all about the male bonding ceremonies around team sports and locker room
> > rituals. I Promise.
>
> Puh-leeze. As if we had the slightest interest in the grunting and
> butt-patting you do in your smelly changing rooms. The thing about most
> "male bonding" things that are generally mysteries to women (football
> (particularly the American variety), power tools, the Three Stooges, etc.)
> is that they're not the kind of thing women have any particular interest
> in appreciating.
> --
speak for yourself Ms Chakrabarty!! And please also explain why every
American girl wants to be a cheer leader?
Daulat Sen
In article <4u6s34$l...@news.service.uci.edu>, eab...@rigel.oac.uci.edu
(Bobby Singh) wrote:
> In article <dsen-02089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
>
> >
[in a fair world Daulat would only date hot Maharashtrian babes, but since
not there must be a factor]
>
> Hmm...well I have heard of the existence of a formula in which when a large
> enough quantity is multiplied by an unknown factor, it is possible to
> derive very high quality from it...however, this factor is very hard to
> figure out and i'm afraid i am just not bright enough to figure it out...
>
no, perhaps explaining why you dont date hot Maharashtrian babes either
>
> [women in art]
> >not to mention those Rubenesque rotundities ... most cuddlemongous indeed
>
> on the other hand, if you prefer the strong, assertive type, then Manet's
> "Olympia" must be your fav...
>
I'm not that big into Manet, I still haven't got past Hussain's "Madhuri"
as the definitive depiction of the female form
>
>
> [all cool greeks/romans were gay of course]
> >considering that they were all gay or bisexual that doesnt really help me
> >very much Bobby. You are further ruining my reputation with
> >aforementioned Maharashtrian babes.
>
> on the contrary, it should help your situation with the babes...you can hold
> a competition to see which one has the power to turn gay men into
heterosexual.
I do know this Chinese babe who likes to turn straight men into gays
though. Does that count?
> Women like that kind of challenge cause that means a perfect man...after all,
> women always complain that the best men are gay...so a gay turned hetero is
> jackpot...assuming he doesn't pick up he evil traits of heteros along with
> their sexual orientation....
>
I am sure that by definition a hetero male must have all those evil traits
- so a gay man turning hetero must learn these traits in the secret locker
room rituals. Oops, I think I told Kaberi the plot now!
>
> >[singing with desi girls around lakes]
[Bobby's choice not being Abhijit and Alka Yagnik]
> >Bobby, do you find it difficult dating Indian women? Just curious? btw :
>
> umm...umm...umm...umm...
>
> does that answer your question? :)
>
no, please tell us in simple language for the men to understand
>
> >when you say soon ... are you implying that there may be some legal
> >complications in this situation?
>
> no, not really...law has no power in thsese matters...just as Marquis de Sade!
>
I think the law would have a lot of concern for the activities of the good
Marquis - and if it doesnt, it bloody well ought to have! And other than
Georgia I dont know of any state in the USA that permits knowledge of
girls below 16. If you know what I mean?
>
>
> >> I still don't get this whole indian male fascination with Madhuri
> >
> >kill yourself. Its an option
>
> I have considered it many times...but it would hurt my mom's feelings just
> too much...so for her sake, i continue to play this pointless game...
>
and for Madhuri's sake. I dont think she would want your death on her
conscience. However I recently heard that she's had breast implants ...
which i must admit tempted me into suicide, but I managed to resist the
urge.
btw - that was a nice line for the poet chicks you had there!
>
> [ex-girlfriend in a lake...its very serious]
> >Loch Ness i think it was ... now there really is a monster in there!!!
>
> you mean I could actually meet a real life english monster???
er ... Loch Ness is Scottish actually. And they are still at war with England.
>...its getting
> REALLY tempting now...i wonder how it measures up against its american
> counter-parts...
actually - it was an abcd chick and the lake in question was Lake Geneva
... since all the Hindi films are shot there, so there you go - two in one
connections, jackpot!!
>
>
> [indian women as endangered species??]
[Great White hunters, trophies and National Parks in the new Republic]
>
> but one way or another, the endangered species are still caged...put on public
> display...and forced to submit to will of their captors...i bet even whipped
> and beaten sometimes...now in some other context, this almost sounds kinky
I think you have been spending too much time with our friend the good Marquis!
> but that of course is not the case here...it is truly deplorable what happens
> to them...and thats why I support animals rights ppl!!
>
I support animals cos I am one myself ... being a desi boy and all.
>
> >[daulat parties with 5 air india hosties]
> >[bobby implies that untoward happenings are going in air india planes
> >hence the smile on the face of the mascot]
> >If those ladies were here (assuming they were not a figment of my
> >imagination] they would slap you very very hard for saying such things. I
>
> A friend of mine is sitting here with me reading this and he is into
> s'n'm so he wants to know if he could be slapped in my place! :)
>
please tell your friend that should he care to avail himself of the
pleasure, he, should buy a ticket to India at once and once he is on the
flight, you - I mean he, can misbehave terribly (like Shah Rukh Khan with
Madhuri devi in Anjaam) and then see what happens.
>
> >saw them (o r imagined them probably) fending off the amorous attentions
> >of a number of young (and not so young) men that evening ... lets just say
>
> thats is truly sad...some guys are just so damn rude and inconsiderate...i
> mean how would they like it if a group of women made crass remarks at them,
> stared at them constantly with a longing look in their eyes, and worse, tried
> to brush against them and grab them even?!!.....
>
> hmm...on second thought, nevermind...
>
you mean there's something wrong with my technique for chatting up desi
women?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
>
> [weapon of choice]
[The virtues of the Lee Enfield 0.303 rifle]
>
> well if you REALLY want to get into favorites, I'd go for a sword...i just
> love them...they are long, sharp, durable, can be sharpened over and over,
> and run on raw man-power (or woman-power depending on who is doing the
> wielding)...guns don't even come close...anybody can use mechanical devices...
> but it takes a MAN to use a sword (or a WOMAN...must be PC!!)...pure, raw,
> primal energy based weapon...
>
what sort of sword? I prefer the sabre myself, a fine cavalary weapon -
with the weight just right to be swung about the shoulders. The grooves
on the side to let the blood flow cleanly and the curve of the blade to
act as the perfect slashing tool when galloping at speed towards the
enemy. The best were made in Persia in the 13th century you know. And
please, less of the Red Sonya fantasies - though they are good!
[the Marquis and Bull's pizzles]
>
> PS I bet 95% of ppl reading this have no idea just what the heck is a pizzle
> or a derriere...of course I didn't either being a good little boy...I had
> to ask the Marquis himself who gave a very, umm...shall we say informative...
> explanation. Wow, so many thing educational opportunities in this thread...
>
thats right - I had no idea what a pizzle was either till I asked a Bull.
In fact every year in Pamplona several hundred men go and ask the Bull's
for their pizzles. The Bulls naturally get outraged and chase them
through the narrow winding streets and blow snot all over them. However I
am happy to report that a pizzle is not what we think it is.
>
> [daulat in all his not-so-glorious glory]
> >thats a splendid idea - but normally I use seal blubber underpants, just
>
> sheesh...why don't you just wear fur!!!!!
>
in the water ... duh!! you are stupid. only blubber provides adequate
protection against the water of the North Sea. Mind you given the level
of chemicals in there these days ... maybe a space suit may be more
appropriate.
>
> >like those caveman Viking dudes. very effective when you're floating in
> >the North Sea I find. Mind you, there's so many Oil Rigs there now that
>
> I'm sure you have other floatation devices...try looking under the bed...
>
inflatable sheep are not that useful as bouyancy aids
>
> >you could happily hop from one to the other all the way from England to
> >Norway these days.
>
> cool...not only do you gave money on a plane ticket, you also get exercise...
> which i think most indians could use more of...
>
yes but we are not allowed to say that to desi girls - otherwise we are
sexeeest peeegs.
> [no s'n'm allowed here]
[Daulat's friend who wrestles]
> hmmm...to avoid being flamed, you ought to point that often indian women could
> also accomplish the same thing as this white woman
thats for sure - been there, seen that.
>...of course, they usually
> use a bailena (spelling??) to help them out but thats ok...after all, bailena
> is a very useful tool...not only to make rotis (chapatis...or whatever you
> guys call them in bengali)
rooti, and balone (approximately)
>but some other uses too...i think meera pointed
> out one use i had never even considered before in one of her posts some
> time ago but thats another topic....
>
and one that i dont think we want to have thrust up on us at this juncture.
>
> ["May be" works with sheep but not women]
> >it works pretty well with the sheep. Atleast in Wanganaiki. so there.
>
> But you are not in Wanganaiki anymore...and i would think available sheep
> aren't as easy to come by in england...so may be its a good idea to focus
> on pleasing women instead...
>
women can never be pleased (atleast not by desi boys) - whatever you do,
its never good enough - so why bother? besides theres a lot more sheep in
england than people imagine!
>
> >> [sweet sixteen mystery]
> >
> >you're just making it harder for yourself, when they get you, they are
> >gonna do you over big time!
>
> you promise?? :)
>
> [BTW, this comment is from my friend...you can see what a sick mind he has]
>
your friend is indeed in need of some corrective treatment, have him
report to the Marquis's private chambers at midnight. Ask him to bring
his own Bull's pizzle with him, the Marquis's one is a little worn out at
the moment.
>
>
> [someone explaining sweet 16 mystery]
> >please?
>
> pretty please with sugar on top....and a unblown cherry too!!
>
aw go on - I'll pay you!!
> >
> >Jai Hind!
>
> sare jahan se aacha (except for southern california), hindustan hamara...
>
I disagree, Wanganaiki rates pretty highly too
>
> [Sylvia Plath is reborn!]
> >Happiness is a fleeting moment we store away - a rope to cling to when the
> >deluge of doom overtakes our dark hearts.
>
> >(was that good bobby? will the poetry chicks dig that?!??!)
>
[snips]
> lies the tiny flame of hope which lights the way for any brave woman who
> may dare to undertake the journey
hazardous and uncertain with many many pitfalls
>and use this flame to once again start the
> conflagration of optimism in you and thus making possible the rebirth of
> your child-like innocence
some would say that I am still quite childlike!!
>and returning you to the level of naivete that
> you had when you first emerged from the womb!!
no, babies arent naive - all they do is eat, sleep and vacate their bowels
and wail. Sounds like a cool life to me.
>
> (now how was that for an analysis? will the I-will-skip-the-reading-and-
> get-the-analysis-from-cliff-notes chicks dig that???!!)
>
> Bobby Singh
definitely, I am sure you will be deluged in mail from lurking women
offering you their poetry notes and what not.
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-060...@lv008-140.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <dsen-05089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
>
> >
> > it wasnt me who started it, so there! : ) Its my ball and I'll go home
> > when I want to!!!! [sulk]
>
> Now where have I heard this refrain before? Wait, don't tell me...when I
> was teaching high school kids last year...and when I was teaching junior
> high the year before that...and when I was teaching elementary school the
> year before that...
you still have a lot to learn about men I fear : )
>
> > > I found that this in no way impeded them
> > > because they understood each others' errors perfectly; I was the only one
> > > that had no idea what they were talking about.
>
> Just like the language you guys are speaking appears to be Spanish, and
> yet I don't know what you're trying to say. Why is that, I wonder?:-)
>
you still have a lot to learn about men I hear : )
>
> > > (feers, saycon, teer, etc.)
> >
> > thats so mangled, I havent got a clue what they mean!!!!
>
> first, second, third, etc.
>
oh thank you, I feel very enlightened : )
> >Besides, what on earth is an ordinal number?
>
> Shame on you. I shouldn't have to explain such simplicities to a desi
> boy, and a college graduate at that! Didn't you learn anything in those
> vaunted snooty English schools of yours?
> >
we have established elsewhere beyond the shadow of a doubt that all desi
boys are simple - so I am afraid that such simplicities are beyond us at
the best of times. : (
And I never went to a snooty English school (my parents prefered to keep
me heterosexual), I never went to University, all I have learnt has been
through blood sweat and tears in the University of Life - and yes I passed
them with Honours I can tell you. It was hard ... si esta muy muy dura
... but I got through it (er I mean era dura or something like that) - but
in the end I got through. Sure I dont have the fancy words like you
clever people, but I am not ashamed of my place in the big dung heap of
humanity ...
(was that good Bobby?)
btw : if you said to the average english kid "tell me what an ordinal
number is" they wouldnt have a clue. If you said to them what do you call
someone who finished in number 2 position - they'll say "second".
Discuss.
> > [sweet sixteen parties]
> Oh, and of course my "brethren" have been soooo supportive to me when I
> needed them.
did you tell them that you needed them?
>For example, when I take the trouble to keep them updated on
> my activities and go so far as to send them the labors of my literary
> efforts for their approval, do they write me back and tell me what they
> think? Nooooooooo.
pot kettle duality? ; )
a review that is not well considered and analysed is not worth the
bandwidth its transmitted on - so it must wait till the moment is ripe.
actually i have this theory about western raised indians - its kindov a
parallel with wave-particle duality, lots of state switching ... but i
cant get better than that - I never studied physics in the University of
Life : (
>To quote the divine Miss Jackson (and I'm sure to back
> up this fantasy you have about manipulative ungrateful women) "What have
> you done for me lately?"
shhh!! it was supposed to be a secret, darling!!!!!!! Now they will all
know!!!!
fantasy nahin yaar ... haqeeqat hai, haqeeqat : )
that Ms Jackson, now she gives me the horn.
(that was a subtle test for the Derek and Clyde fans out there - wonder if
they will bite?)
> Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
> of their own heritage than white mcps ("white mcps", isn't that a
> redundancy?)
you know - its a bit like the concept of Mutually Assured Destruction or
MAD for short. (incidentally Mad is also a convenient short form for
Madhuri-devi). For well over 4 decades the USA and USSR maintained a
terrible balance of terror with nuclear weapons (still does actually) when
all along every one knew that both sides just wanted to sit around a camp
fire and sing happy songs to each other and cuddle and drink vodka. But
would they? would they hell! Mr Kruschev said we will bury you, Mr
Reagan joked about dropping the bombs, Cuba, proxy wars ... ah the wasted
years of misunderstanding and bitterness. Oh well ... there's always
China to worry about.
as for "white mcps being redundant" ... opinion varies. There is a school
of thought that would say that my enemies enemy must be my friend.
> and I'll think up some nice little mystery to feed you about those
> birthday parties (though I warn you, fiction is not my forte).
> --
pity - maybe Meera-ji can help?
must dash, i have to chase some wildebeest accross the savannah now, or
there's nothing for dinner : (
Shivram
Kaberi Chakrabarty wrote:
> In article <dsen-05089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
> >Besides, what on earth is an ordinal number?
> Shame on you. I shouldn't have to explain such simplicities to a desi
> boy, and a college graduate at that! Didn't you learn anything in those
> vaunted snooty English schools of yours?
Ordinal number? I know only cardinal numbers. That's the number that the
cardinal yells gleefully when he's doling punishment for boys who've been caught
sending snooty letters to girls of the convent nearby specifying the time and
place of the rendezvous. You get that many whippings on your rear end.
> > [sweet sixteen parties]
> > aw go on, you'll be educating a whole bunch of mcp fascist desi boys and
> > turning them into nice clean sensitive quiche eating new men. Think of it
> > as a public service! Your brethren rely on you in their hour of need, do
> > not fail us now!!!
BUT BUT! daulat, I thought wimin expect us to be jerks.
> Oh, and of course my "brethren" have been soooo supportive to me when I
> needed them.
I was away battling the loch ness monster and saving daulat from the sheep. The
next time you call...use 1800COLLECT.
> Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
> of their own heritage than white mcps
Wo! wait a minute. This is what I wanted to address. All me life I be nice desi
boy to women. esp. desi women. Then suddenly, I'm laughed at because of that.
And now they say, the object of the game is to be a jerk and nice boys finish
last. What is it, woman!?. Do we desi men have to be nice or jerks.
--
***********************************************************
Into my dreams she tap-danced with hob-nailed boots.
***********************************************************
Shivram
Bobby Singh wrote:
> In article <dsen-02089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>,
> Daulat Sen <ds...@csc.com> wrote:
> >Loch Ness i think it was ... now there really is a monster in there!!!
>
> you mean I could actually meet a real life english monster???...its getting
> REALLY tempting now...i wonder how it measures up against its american
> counter-parts...
Newt Gingrich? Alphonse d-Amato? These two are big dicks. No way jose, the loch ness
monster can never measure up.
> [indian women as endangered species??]
>
> but one way or another, the endangered species are still caged...put on public
> display...and forced to submit to will of their captors...i bet even whipped
> and beaten sometimes...now in some other context, this almost sounds kinky
I thought bestiality existed only in france. Legally I mean.
> but that of course is not the case here...it is truly deplorable what happens
> to them...and thats why I support animals rights ppl!!
If animals had rights they'd make us all bend over. Daulat can tell you what
happened when he waved a stick at the sheep.
> [the mystery of goofy]
> >fusion, but to know about Goofy ... I don't think so.
>
> You are kidding right??? Have you no idea what are the implications of solving
> the Goofy Enigma?? In case you didn't know, Disney created Goofy's dubious
> nature on purpose...its a conspiracy...it keeps all the great minds of the
> world occupied...they are all trying to figure out what goofy is...and in
Isn't that IZZY the mascot of the 'CRYING GAMES'. And to think they initially wanted
to call it 'whatizit' but didn't because thay thought it was negative.
> >[daulat parties with 5 air india hosties]
I thought daulat said airhead hosties.
[CYBER S&M deleted... for daulat's eyes only]
> >thats a splendid idea - but normally I use seal blubber underpants, just
>
> sheesh...why don't you just wear fur!!!!!
Did you say animal rights. I think daulat would want fur or WOOL. He'd be a wolf in
sheeps clothing.
> I'm sure you have other floatation devices...try looking under the bed...
WHy. It should be in your wallet. Condoms make good floatation devices. You just
just need to courage to blow into one.
> [buying wines]
> >>
> >thats a good idea. actually a lot of desi girls do ask for a dry white
> >wine, but then they get very confused and embarrased if you say
> >"sauvignon blanc or chardonnay? Or perhaps a naughty little semillion?".
> >So I fear that this whole god thing might be a little ropy. Personally I
> >prefer girls that can swill lager and eat kebabs.
> I like vodka myself though all my freinds are big on beer...again, its the
> whole quality over quantity thing...
Try saying sauternes. And the sommelier will ask 1940 or 41. Dammit! The only 40,41
I know is mozart's symphonies. Yup, I prefer girls who can swig a mean lager, toss
their hair back, wipe their mouth with the back of their hands, burp and say DUHHH!
'Oh, down on the bayou'.
> ["May be" works with sheep but not women]
> But you are not in Wanganaiki anymore...and i would think available sheep
> aren't as easy to come by in england...so may be its a good idea to focus
> on pleasing women instead...
There are a lot of sheep in the UK. Doesn't the IBM ad show sheep and laptops. (I
don't mean sheep as laptops). Or is that scotland. I think sheep like men wearing
kilts. Daulat knows its easier to please sheep than women.
> >> [sweet sixteen mystery]
> >you're just making it harder for yourself, when they get you, they are
> >gonna do you over big time!
> you promise?? :)
> [BTW, this comment is from my friend...you can see what a sick mind he has]
Bobby, are you schizoprenic by any chance or intentionally.
Daulat Sen
> Ordinal number? I know only cardinal numbers. That's the number that the
> cardinal yells gleefully when he's doling punishment for boys who've
been caught
> sending snooty letters to girls of the convent nearby specifying the time and
> place of the rendezvous. You get that many whippings on your rear end.
>
oh God we're back to the Bull's pizzle - which only goes to show that all
roads lead to the Marquis de Sade
> > > [sweet sixteen parties]
> > > as a public service! Your brethren rely on you in their hour of need, do
> > > not fail us now!!!
>
> BUT BUT! daulat, I thought wimin expect us to be jerks.
>
er ... umm ... er .... yes they do but only during a certain phase. When
they want to be romantic in their youth and be wild and carefree and all
that - then they want men who are wild and rugged and cant be tamed (or so
I have been told) - but when its time to get married up and have babies
they want nice men (so I have been told) so your only option is to be a
multi-level schizophrenic who oscillates between mental states - the only
hope you have of appealing to women. Sorry, but life's like that. : )
> > Oh, and of course my "brethren" have been soooo supportive to me when I
> > needed them.
>
> I was away battling the loch ness monster and saving daulat from the
sheep. The
> next time you call...use 1800COLLECT.
>
Nessie doesnt need battling, she's quite a sweetie really. Thats assuming
she's not a huge Pike or a seal on steroids. Though admittedly, seals
are sweeties too. I thought the number to dial was 1-800 SHEEPHEAD?
> > Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
> > of their own heritage than white mcps
>
> Wo! wait a minute. This is what I wanted to address. All me life I be
nice desi
> boy to women. esp. desi women. Then suddenly, I'm laughed at because of
that.
> And now they say, the object of the game is to be a jerk and nice boys finish
> last. What is it, woman!?. Do we desi men have to be nice or jerks.
> --
can't you be a nice jerk?
> ***********************************************************
> Into my dreams she tap-danced with hob-nailed boots.
> ***********************************************************
and kicked you in the Trossachs?
(Thats a mountain range in Scotland, since we're on the Scottish theme here)
Kaberi Chakrabarty
> Kaberi Chakrabarty wrote:
> > Oh, and of course my "brethren" have been soooo supportive to me when I
> > needed them.
>
> I was away battling the loch ness monster and saving daulat from the
sheep. The
> next time you call...use 1800COLLECT.
See, you're off saving your brethren when you should be supporting us, and
then you wonder why we think men are jerks?!?
>
> > Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
> > of their own heritage than white mcps
>
> Wo! wait a minute. This is what I wanted to address. All me life I be
nice desi
> boy to women. esp. desi women. Then suddenly, I'm laughed at because of
that.
> And now they say, the object of the game is to be a jerk and nice boys finish
> last. What is it, woman!?. Do we desi men have to be nice or jerks.
Well, I have been told to speak for myself, which means I would have to
risk what 's left of my pitiful, fragile ego, as opposed to that of all
womanhood, which could bear the brunt of such analysis. Personally, I
have never laughed at a desi boy who chose to be a nice guy. Of course,
it's not like I have run into many. Off hand, I would say the short
answer to the question is: still too long to go into without writing one
of my famous too-long YW articles that are so much trouble to analyze.:-b
Daulat Sen
In article <3208F7...@amber.int>, Shivram <To_T...@amber.int> wrote:
> Bobby Singh wrote:
> > you mean I could actually meet a real life english monster???...its getting
> > REALLY tempting now...i wonder how it measures up against its american
> > counter-parts...
>
> Newt Gingrich? Alphonse d-Amato? These two are big dicks. No way jose,
the loch ness
> monster can never measure up.
>
The only monsters are in the back of your mind - liberate yourself,
surrender to the greater glory, believe in Jai Maharaj
> > [indian women as endangered species??]
> >
> > but one way or another, the endangered species are still caged...put
on public
> > display...and forced to submit to will of their captors...i bet even whipped
> > and beaten sometimes...now in some other context, this almost sounds kinky
>
> I thought bestiality existed only in france. Legally I mean.
French laws are very strange, toothpaste and soap for example appear to be
illegal in France.
>
> > but that of course is not the case here...it is truly deplorable what
happens
> > to them...and thats why I support animals rights ppl!!
>
> If animals had rights they'd make us all bend over. Daulat can tell you what
> happened when he waved a stick at the sheep.
>
I would never shake a stick at sheep, I love them. Thats a terrible thing
to say about me!! I resent that!!!
> > >[daulat parties with 5 air india hosties]
>
> I thought daulat said airhead hosties.
>
I said no such thing!!! I only reserve the term "airhead bimbo" for male
bosses - its a tradition I have long followed. The hosties with the
mostie were most definitely not airheads - they couldn't be since they are
part of my fantasy existance, but thats not important right now. Anyways,
I just wish I had taken a picture during my fantasy. : (
>
> [CYBER S&M deleted... for daulat's eyes only]
>
> > >thats a splendid idea - but normally I use seal blubber underpants, just
> >
> > sheesh...why don't you just wear fur!!!!!
>
> Did you say animal rights. I think daulat would want fur or WOOL. He'd
be a wolf in
> sheeps clothing.
>
I think the wolf is a much maligned animal. Even today, in Uttar Pradesh,
wolves are being blamed for the dissapearance of children in a remote
village. It seems to me that there's organised gangs abducting children
for the organ transplant trade, and the poor wolves get all the blame and
also get shot. Most sightings of the "animal" indicate a wolf like animal
- but one that is too big to be a wolf. Maybe its a werewolf? However,
the locals decided to lynch 3 strangers to death in the locality just in
case. The snatching of children however continues.
As for me being a metaphorical wolf ... highly unlikely, desi boys are too
wimpy to have such animal associations.
> > I'm sure you have other floatation devices...try looking under the bed...
>
> WHy. It should be in your wallet. Condoms make good floatation
devices. You just
> just need to courage to blow into one.
>
you know that trick that people do by putting a condom over their heads
and blowing in it till it balloons up and explodes? Dont try it at home
children!!!
Besides, they shouldn't be in your wallet, that spermicidal napalm does
nasty things to the notes in there!! Or so I am told.
Which only goes to prove that we fascist men force innocent women to take
in all manner of nasty chemicals into their bodies in order to satisfy our
own filthy lust.
Anyhow, condoms in wallets are passe - and also redundant for desiboys
anyway, they should be at home next to your bed which you share with a
commited partner.
> > [buying wines]
> Try saying sauternes. And the sommelier will ask 1940 or 41. Dammit!
The only 40,41
> I know is mozart's symphonies.
what a coconut!! : )
>Yup, I prefer girls who can swig a mean lager, toss
> their hair back, wipe their mouth with the back of their hands, burp
and say DUHHH!
> 'Oh, down on the bayou'.
I was ok till the burping bit - even I don't do that. The lager down and
hair toss was good, the back hand wipe was better ... but then ... I
dunno, manners come into it somewhere.
[the sheep thing]
> There are a lot of sheep in the UK. Doesn't the IBM ad show sheep and
laptops. (I
> don't mean sheep as laptops). Or is that scotland. I think sheep like
men wearing
> kilts. Daulat knows its easier to please sheep than women.
>
sheep ARE easy to please, just give them lots of hills with grass growing
on them and they are happy as larry. Give women the same thing and they
are not always as pleased ... I mean there's the whole food and shelter
thing for starters ... how many women do you know that would sleep out in
the open and eat grass? I have however known several men who would
happily sleep out in the open and live on grass. But one swallow does not
a summer make.
> > >> [sweet sixteen mystery]
> > >you're just making it harder for yourself, when they get you, they are
> > >gonna do you over big time!
> > you promise?? :)
> > [BTW, this comment is from my friend...you can see what a sick mind he has]
>
> Bobby, are you schizoprenic by any chance or intentionally.
>
the voices call him to do things. bad things. its not his fault. its
them, its the voices.
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-07089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
> In article <kaberi19-060...@lv008-140.starnetinc.com>,
> kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> > Now where have I heard this refrain before? Wait, don't tell me...when I
> > was teaching high school kids last year...and when I was teaching junior
> > high the year before that...and when I was teaching elementary school the
> > year before that...
>
> you still have a lot to learn about men I fear : )
No kidding.
> > > thats so mangled, I havent got a clue what they mean!!!!
> >
> > first, second, third, etc.
> >
>
> oh thank you, I feel very enlightened : )
My pleasure to pass some civilization on over the Atlantic.
> And I never went to a snooty English school (my parents prefered to keep
> me heterosexual), I never went to University, all I have learnt has been
> through blood sweat and tears in the University of Life - and yes I passed
> them with Honours I can tell you.
Apparently you failed the course entitled "How to be a quiche-eating
poetry-reading sensitive type guy, or at least look like one to catch the
babes"
It was hard ... si esta muy muy dura
> ... but I got through it (er I mean era dura or something like that) - but
> in the end I got through. Sure I dont have the fancy words like you
> clever people, but I am not ashamed of my place in the big dung heap of
> humanity ...
> (was that good Bobby?)
That was a C+ effort, in order to get the high marks you must learn to
insert suppressed sobs where appropriate, for examples, see my "never had
a birthday party" speech, or watch President Clinton.
>
>
> btw : if you said to the average english kid "tell me what an ordinal
> number is" they wouldnt have a clue. If you said to them what do you call
> someone who finished in number 2 position - they'll say "second".
> Discuss.
Conclusion: obvious difference between English and American vocabulary..
In the States, someone who finishes #2 is called a "loser". (See Matt
Ghaffari, Janet Evans, etc.)
> >To quote the divine Miss Jackson (and I'm sure to back
> > up this fantasy you have about manipulative ungrateful women) "What have
> > you done for me lately?"
>
> shhh!! it was supposed to be a secret, darling!!!!!!! Now they will all
> know!!!!
I thought you had told them all already! Then what was this whole
discussion of saris and the sheep of Wanganaiki? You mean they don't know
about Panther, Leopard and Butterfly?
> fantasy nahin yaar ... haqeeqat hai, haqeeqat : )
WHAT??? I warned you about using that filthy language around me! Te digo
que me hables en cristiano, hombre. No uses estas lenguas que ni siquiera
yo comprendo!
> > Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
> > of their own heritage than white mcps ("white mcps", isn't that a
> > redundancy?)
>
> you know - its a bit like the concept of Mutually Assured Destruction or
> MAD for short. (incidentally Mad is also a convenient short form for
> Madhuri-devi). For well over 4 decades the USA and USSR maintained a
> terrible balance of terror with nuclear weapons (still does actually) when
> all along every one knew that both sides just wanted to sit around a camp
> fire and sing happy songs to each other and cuddle and drink vodka. But
> would they? would they hell! Mr Kruschev said we will bury you, Mr
> Reagan joked about dropping the bombs, Cuba, proxy wars ... ah the wasted
> years of misunderstanding and bitterness.
Ah, but they say the cold war is over now. The Berlin wall, you know.
Does that mean we're allowed to be nice to each other now?
Oh well ... there's always China to worry about.
Oh no, don't tell me I have to compete against those Chinese girls again.
No fair. Asians are perceived as exotic, I hear. I wouldn't know myself.
> > and I'll think up some nice little mystery to feed you about those
> > birthday parties (though I warn you, fiction is not my forte).
> > --
>
> pity - maybe Meera-ji can help?
From what little I know about her, no thanks. She can keep her peanuts to
herself.
Shivram
Kaberi Chakrabarty wrote:
> In article <3208EE...@amber.int>, Shivram <To_T...@amber.int> wrote:
>
> > Kaberi Chakrabarty wrote:
>
> > > Oh, and of course my "brethren" have been soooo supportive to me when I
> > > needed them.
> > I was away battling the loch ness monster and saving daulat from the
> sheep. The next time you call...use 1800COLLECT.
> See, you're off saving your brethren when you should be supporting us, and
> then you wonder why we think men are jerks?!?
WAIT a MINUTE! I am not your brethren. I used to be a nice boy. Now I'm just trying
to be a jerk. Daulat is helping me plenty (Daulat, I am grateful). Seems that more
and more girls don't like nice desi boys, or consider them as brothers. How dare
you say bretheren:-). WE men are predators (rise ye, MEN, and thump your chest in
affirmation]. We cannot be brothers and still be predators. I am trying
desperately to be a jerk. I was pointed out recently that I'm on the right track (
the divine devi of love, Ms Oza). It's difficult to unlearn things that one has
spent years learning.
Ok OK! all you have to do is yell. An we'll come a charging, Knights in shining
armour and lances to subdue your detractors. Oh! I was also making plans to save
bobby from his evil friend who chips in occasionally with his S&M inclinations.
> > > Tell you what, you explain to me why desi guys can't be kinder to women
> > > of their own heritage than white mcps
> > Wo! wait a minute. This is what I wanted to address. All me life I be
> > nice desi boy to women. esp. desi women. Then suddenly, I'm laughed at because
> > of that. And now they say, the object of the game is to be a jerk and nice boys
> > finish last. What is it, woman!?. Do we desi men have to be nice or jerks.
> Well, I have been told to speak for myself, which means I would have to
Whew! You're a breath of fresh air, unlike some who think one man's action is the
prevalent attitude and an epidemic, esp. of desi men.
> risk what 's left of my pitiful, fragile ego, as opposed to that of all
> womanhood, which could bear the brunt of such analysis. Personally, I
> have never laughed at a desi boy who chose to be a nice guy. Of course,
> it's not like I have run into many. Off hand, I would say the short
> answer to the question is: still too long to go into without writing one
> of my famous too-long YW articles that are so much trouble to analyze.:-b
Please, write you analysis. Enlighten us ignorant desi jerks. For once I will be a
nice desi boy and I'll listen. And then I'll flame you to hell. I was kidding. And
the offer to shoot your detractors stands.
Daulat, (stop messing with that sheep) will you be a nice desi boy and listen to
what kaberi has to say [your other option is - I'll tie you to a sheep in a sari,
no! you might like that. I'll tie you to a gator in a sari, yes! I think that's
better. Even if you like it, you'd be gator fodder very soon].
Go ahead kaberi. And pull no punches. [after all we men have always been beat into
submission, a few more blows wouldn't be anymore skin of our back].
***********************************************************
Expenses are not hard to meet. They are everywhere. So we
make a budget not realizing that a budget is a systematic
method for going broke.
***********************************************************
Kaberi Chakrabarty
> Please, write you analysis. Enlighten us ignorant desi jerks. For once I
will be a
> nice desi boy and I'll listen. And then I'll flame you to hell. I was
kidding. And
> the offer to shoot your detractors stands.
What if my detractors are also my "brethren"?
>
> Daulat, (stop messing with that sheep) will you be a nice desi boy and
listen to
> what kaberi has to say [your other option is - I'll tie you to a sheep
in a sari,
> no! you might like that. I'll tie you to a gator in a sari, yes! I think
that's
> better. Even if you like it, you'd be gator fodder very soon].
>
> Go ahead kaberi. And pull no punches. [after all we men have always been
beat into
> submission, a few more blows wouldn't be anymore skin of our back].
Hmmm. I dunno. You know it's very easy to be a nice desi guy (or girl)
on a computer screen. For all I know I'll go ahead and give you my
opinion and then be laughed off the newsgroup for my trouble. How do I
know you really want to be a nice desi boy; maybe you are just looking for
material to help you the next time you choose to be a jerk? Hey, Daulat,
what was that line your fantasy woman in leather always says, "Beg me for
it, baby"? Something like that. Anyway, at the very least such a
discussion would force this thread to go from silly to serious, and we
wouldn't want that.
Would we???
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-080...@lv008-147.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <dsen-07089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
> >
> > you still have a lot to learn about men I fear : )
>
> No kidding.
>
you see, men are like motorola 88k series logic and women are like intel
x86 - both entirely valid in their own domains, but ultimately entirely
incompatible. "ay theres the rub" - to quote shakespear, which i dont
often do cos i hated that poncy rubbish when i was at my school for
toughie hooligans.
> > oh thank you, I feel very enlightened : )
>
> My pleasure to pass some civilization on over the Atlantic.
>
we all pass a lot of things into the Atlantic, some of them bring us
pleasure. Sometimes the fish benefit from it and sometimes the whales in
the St Lawrence seaway develop cancer. Life's like that sometimes.
[skool daze]
> Apparently you failed the course entitled "How to be a quiche-eating
> poetry-reading sensitive type guy, or at least look like one to catch the
> babes"
>
thats for sure!! i only went to classes in "how to drink 10 pints of
lager and scoff a donner kebab and chat up a bit of skirt, 'ello darlin',
ows it goin then? cor blimey!" Needless to say, I failed that too.
> > clever people, but I am not ashamed of my place in the big dung heap of
> > humanity ...
> > (was that good Bobby?)
>
> That was a C+ effort, in order to get the high marks you must learn to
> insert suppressed sobs where appropriate, for examples, see my "never had
> a birthday party" speech, or watch President Clinton.
>
thankfully I have no need to watch Clinton-ji. Incidentally, damn clever
move that Bill, banning european companies with business links in Iran and
Libya at a very convenient time for the electoral schedule and absolutely
no bearing on the realities on the ground. Ofcourse the US does not
believe in protectionism and is a champion of free trade, guffaw guffaw
snigger snigger!!
>
> Conclusion: obvious difference between English and American vocabulary..
> In the States, someone who finishes #2 is called a "loser". (See Matt
> Ghaffari, Janet Evans, etc.)
>
but just remember ... baby, even the losers, get lucky sometimes yeah
> >
> > shhh!! it was supposed to be a secret, darling!!!!!!! Now they will all
> > know!!!!
>
> I thought you had told them all already! Then what was this whole
> discussion of saris and the sheep of Wanganaiki?
it takes a brave woman to admit to being the sari clad sheep of
Wanganaiki. Are you sure you want to do that?!?!?!?
> > fantasy nahin yaar ... haqeeqat hai, haqeeqat : )
>
> WHAT??? I warned you about using that filthy language around me! Te digo
> que me hables en cristiano, hombre. No uses estas lenguas que ni siquiera
> yo comprendo!
>
>
let me patronise you a little my dear, atleast I have used a language that
more people reading this newsgroup will understand, rather than spanish :
)
> > would they? would they hell! Mr Kruschev said we will bury you, Mr
> > Reagan joked about dropping the bombs, Cuba, proxy wars ... ah the wasted
> > years of misunderstanding and bitterness.
>
> Ah, but they say the cold war is over now. The Berlin wall, you know.
> Does that mean we're allowed to be nice to each other now?
>
we always were, somewhere along the line we forgot. war is hell. dont
believe the john wayne movies.
incidentally, when john wayne went to entertain the troops at iwo jima,
they threw beer bottles at him out of disgust.
> Oh well ... there's always China to worry about.
>
> Oh no, don't tell me I have to compete against those Chinese girls again.
> No fair. Asians are perceived as exotic, I hear. I wouldn't know myself.
>
that Joan Chen, she gives me the Matter-horn. Then there's that Gong Li
... enough to make a grown man shout Yam Sing!!!! And thats before we get
on to the subject of Lai Lai - my angel of Schwingapore Airlines : ) But
none of them are worthy to touch the feet of Madhuri devi in my own
humblest of humble opinions.
> > > and I'll think up some nice little mystery to feed you about those
> > > birthday parties (though I warn you, fiction is not my forte).
> > > --
> >
> > pity - maybe Meera-ji can help?
>
> From what little I know about her, no thanks. She can keep her peanuts to
> herself.
> --
she can - however she chooses to liberally distribute them all over the
Indian newsgroups. Which is kinda egalitarian and humanitarian and red
cross and action contre le faim and all that, so we must ultimately
congratulate her - at least for having more balls than most of the men who
post there. Which is a very interestingly sexist American expression in
my opinion. But then, in the big picture analysis, my opinion is but a
tumbleweed rolling across the windswept desert as a shooting star falls
and the wolf is framed against the cactus and the pale moon's glowing orb.
(was that good bobby?)
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-090...@lv008-157.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <320A13...@amber.int>, Shivram <To_T...@amber.int> wrote:
> > the offer to shoot your detractors stands.
>
> What if my detractors are also my "brethren"?
> >
shoot them all, spare no one. death and night and blood. ve vere only
folloving ze orders!!!
line them up in front of the pit, shoot them in the back of the head and
bulldoze itover, then wait a year for the UN to dig them up again and
wring their hands about not having done something when you were shooting
them in the first place. Afterall, bringing a body back is the same is
bringing the person back. Just ask the women of Srebrenica.
> > Go ahead kaberi. And pull no punches. [after all we men have always been
> beat into
> > submission, a few more blows wouldn't be anymore skin of our back].
>
> Hmmm. I dunno. You know it's very easy to be a nice desi guy (or girl)
> on a computer screen. For all I know I'll go ahead and give you my
> opinion and then be laughed off the newsgroup for my trouble. How do I
> know you really want to be a nice desi boy; maybe you are just looking for
> material to help you the next time you choose to be a jerk?
its not so much choice, I think we mostly slot into it automatically : )
>Hey, Daulat,
> what was that line your fantasy woman in leather always says, "Beg me for
> it, baby"? Something like that.
fantasy nahin yaar, haqeeqat ; )
sayan babu, i use that word to mean "reality". I am willing to be
corrected by someone with better knowledge of hindi/urdu
kaberi : the line is "you're gonna have to beg real bad for this boy" and
my fantasies are never about women in leather, only Madhuri devi in a silk
Benarasi sari, (dry and with no hint of monsoon rains or lakes in the
vicinity), and she never makes me beg, we sit and have tea on the lawn and
my mother talks to her mother about the auspicious moment. or something
like that. : ) however ... as for women in leather, i did see a very
attractive policewoman last night with a lot of leather attachments and
truncheons and things who did give me the horn, but she was personning a
road traffic accident scene and i was driving by and unlike a similar
swedish police woman who stopped and searched me a few years ago, we never
had the chance to get to know each other better. I must say, the Swedish
policewoman had more of a boy fantasy uniform than the british one ...
bigger boots, jumpsuit, more leather attachments - and she was 7 foot tall
and blonde. honest!! sadly her need to get to know me better revolved
around my looking foriegn in a small suburb of stockholm and no inherent
fascination with desi boys per se.
>Anyway, at the very least such a
> discussion would force this thread to go from silly to serious, and we
> wouldn't want that.
>
> Would we???
speak for yourself (again) Ms Chakrabarti : )
Shiv
From: kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty)
Date: 1996/08/09
Message-Id: <kaberi19-090...@lv008-157.starnetinc.com>
Newsgroups: soc.culture.bengali,alt.culture.us.asian-Indian
>> In article <320A13...@amber.int>, Shivram <To_T...@amber.int>
>> wrote:
>> Please, write your analysis. Enlighten us ignorant desi jerks. For once
>> I will be a nice desi boy and I'll listen. And then I'll flame you to
>> hell. I was kidding. And the offer to shoot your detractors stands.
> What if my detractors are also my "brethren"?
When arjuna asked krishna that question ..... the answer was compiled as
the 'GITA'. But I tell you in three words, SHOOT AT SIGHT (the
philosophical meaning can be got by reading the bhagavad gita). The only
problem is that one is never assured of their total demise. Like the
living dead they will be resurrected stronger than ever before. I can
still think of many many ways to shoot them. Detractors will always
exist. The best part is that they get tired very soon (they are
weaklings). I have great experience in fighting detractors(And the strong
shall mow the weak and the meeklings... it's in my resume). One weapon is
- ignore their posts. Also, detractors are usually dumb, insecure people
with low self-esteem. Unlike nice desi-boys who are usually married and
need their wives permission to speak up. [that's not the real desi boy,
is it]
>> Go ahead kaberi. And pull no punches. [after all we men have always
>> been beat into submission, a few more blows wouldn't be anymore skin of
>> our back].
> Hmmm. I dunno. You know it's very easy to be a nice desi guy (or girl)
> on a computer screen. For all I know I'll go ahead and give you my
> opinion and then be laughed off the newsgroup for my trouble. How do I
That's absolutely true. How do I know you are not freddie balsara. I
don't laugh at opinions. I only laugh at sheep. And at goats, softly. And
at myself. All three are exclusive...... so NO wise cracks.
> know you really want to be a nice desi boy; maybe you are just looking
> for material to help you the next time you choose to be a jerk? Hey,
Oh NO! I have enough material to be the consummate jerk. All I have to do
is do the opposite of what I used to do before. As I've said before, I
used to be a nice-desi boy. You might have seen me in jurassic park.
Then the ice maidens came..er! the ice ages. Then I became extinct. This
is my alter ego. No, this is me in spirit. Drenched in 80 proof, 40% v/v.
This is the 'ghost who walks'. I am drifting... everything sounds dull and
numb. It's a hazy purple..or is it violet..or magenta?
I see hell from here. The're having a gala time. Daulat is there. No Joan
chen. Oh! there she is. A few sheep. There's madhuri. Rambha, urvashi and
menaka. My uncle is there (he was a born jerk). He seems to be having a
lot of fun. Madonna is on his lap. He's holding a triple-sec and keeps
yelling bring em on! HAR HAR! Sonali bhendre glides onto his other lap.
AND ME? Peter paul and mary are with me. They are espousing the virtues
of being the nice-desi boy (how to become extinct). My eyes dart
constantly towards hell. It's not fair. It's not fair, I moan. And
groan. I be nice desi boy. I get peter and paul and mary and a mile long
sermon.
So me make big decision. Jesus insists 'jesus is the way'. I say, 'jesus,
look down, the way to heaven is there'. SO ME SET FOOT ON PATH TO BE
JERK. ME GO AND BEAT UP ME UNCLE AND TAKE OVER SONALI. Daulat can have
sheep, madhuri and madonna. Me need hot shower and bundle up in sheep..er!
I mean wool to warm up after seeing madonna.
[My thesis]
It does'nt pay to be a nice desi-boy any more. And if it does, it doesn't
keep up with the inflation or the misery index. All the nice-desi boys
are married. When I was a nice-desi boy (seems like eons ago) my mother
tried to get me married off. I said I would need to get my girlfriend's
permission (nice desi boys are slaves). Did you ever realize that
speaking the truth could turn your life upside down. Now I'm just a
lonely, not so nice desi-boy, becomming not so nicer every moment. My
girlfriend ran away with a beer. She's the one who came up with 50 reasons
why beer is better than a man. She was a nice desi girl. She even gave me
credit for being the inspiration for her writing them and for changing her
life. I'm proud of her. Bless her soul when she dies a horrible death.
Now she's an ice maiden.
All the desi guys are after her now. She gives them the birdie, and
says, she will never date desi-boys. In fact she doesn't even look at them
(I think she yearns for me... like, wanting to stick a knife in me).
Desi-boys now say desi women are cold, stuck-up and have an attitude. Did
I forget white skin lovers. Coconuts!!! Desi-women hearing all that, get
together and say, desi-boys are jerks. They don't know how to approach a
desi-woman (desi-boy thinks he has to run around trees to woo her, after
seeing all those movies), they don't know how to treat a desi-woman
(desi-boys think once they get the girl, its a two for one deal-the girl
and a maid). Desi-women also say desi-boys make them tired by all the
running around trees, and from the desi-boys.
Desi-boy say desi-women are difficult to date. In fact if one desi-boy
could date a desi girl ... they will be awarded the nobel prize for peace,
love and the pursuit of happiness. After being dissed out by
desi-women, desi-boy drives up to the bar in mustang (the 6-cylinder car).
Sees american (white) girl, unattached and dressed to kill and floating
on a bar-stool. Desi-boy nearly has heart attack. But steadies himself
against pole that sprang from nowhere. Desi-boy swaggers in like
jeetendra .... dressed in white pant with silver stripe, white shirt (all
buttones undone) with more silver stripes, white shoes with no silver
stripe. Slides up to bar-fly ... and whispers, I've got a six-cylinder
mustang and one to spare, wanna shift my gears and hear my engine roar.
So desi-boy picks up girl (she's a hooker).
[LEAP OF LOGIC......MISSING LINK...... have theory, will talk]
Now, desi-boys date only americans. Says american women are easy and
sometimes sunny side up (must be thinking of eggs). Desi-girl who dissed
him... spreads the word. Desi-women say desi-boys are jerks and now,
arseholes also. They say desi-boys are COCONUTS!! (Desi-boys are always
nuts). Desi-girl says.... american women .. gold digger, and desi men
date american women because they can go from zero to horizontal lambada in
6 seconds. Desi-dakter-bhai most wanted victim. Poor kumputer programmer
always poor kumputer programmer (only gets sheep and bad eyesight).
Desi-girl say desi-boys are white skin lovers. Bhai'yon and beheno'
parents worried. Old seer (who has been everywhere) says, they will
return. Desi-bhai will return without mustang. Desi-behan will return
with two kids.
Somewhere domino's pizza truck smashes into tree. Domino effect coined.
DID I DO ALL THAT? I think it was my mother who started all this. [Ex-desi
boys always blame mothers]
> Daulat, what was that line your fantasy woman in leather always says,
> "Beg me for it, baby"? Something like that. Anyway, at the very least
> such a discussion would force this thread to go from silly to serious,
> and we wouldn't want that.
> Would we???
Is 'tease me, please me' any part of it. We have always begged for it.
Right from adam. And we always say please. oops! we used to say please.
Now we just grovel. As for 'silly to serious'.. any serious thread in
retrospect will look silly. Any silly thread will always look silly. But
with time they will look really hilarious.
C'mon kaberi, I'm on my knees. My colleages think I'm praying. I tell
them I'm looking for a queen in a stacked deck. I forget what you were
going to tell us about. Oh! nice-desi boys. How about a questionaire?
SOS kaberi. Save our souls. I am sinking into the vast cesspool of
jerkhood. As all desi boys do I pray 'O! devi, save me'.
The dictionary shows:
desi-boy - Look up dinosaurs
dinosaurs - they used to be good pets, easily trained (but has
annoying habit of leaving toilet seat up), now they're
extinct now.
--
***********************************************************
"Oh people, you have to sin. Since you had not done so,
God would not have sent a seduction on you as intoxicating as me!"
- Madhuri Dissit, Fawn of Fawns
***********************************************************
Shiv
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <320BB4...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <Shivra...@intelsat.int>
wrote:
> From: kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty)
> > What if my detractors are also my "brethren"?
>
> When arjuna asked krishna that question ..... the answer was compiled as
> the 'GITA'. But I tell you in three words, SHOOT AT SIGHT
This kind of rampant violence will get you no where. Pretty soon the only
ones left will be me and you, and...oh...never mind.
> > Hmmm. I dunno. You know it's very easy to be a nice desi guy (or girl)
> > on a computer screen. For all I know I'll go ahead and give you my
> > opinion and then be laughed off the newsgroup for my trouble. How do I
>
> That's absolutely true. How do I know you are not freddie balsara. I
> don't laugh at opinions. I only laugh at sheep. And at goats, softly. And
> at myself. All three are exclusive...... so NO wise cracks.
Who, me? Never. Can I help it if you thought of what I was going to say
before I said it?
>
> > know you really want to be a nice desi boy; maybe you are just looking
> > for material to help you the next time you choose to be a jerk? Hey,
(long descripton of Shiv's path from desi nice-guyhood to the paradise of
jerkdom deleted)
(Shiv's interesting theory of the history of YW male-female relationships
cruelly condensed to the following:
Desi-boy tells the truth, gets in trouble, gets dumped, becomes a jerk.
Desi-girl and dumper decides all desi-boys are jerks.
Desi-boy sees that desi-girls won't go near him anymore, starts going
after amriki women.
Desi-girl decides desi-boys are coconuts, starts going out with amriki men.
Turns out the whole thing is desi-boy's mother's fault. Who knew?
So, Shiv, if you have this whole thing figured out already, what can I
possibly tell you that you don't already know? It's not like I have any
experience with desi-boys myself, since the nice ones are too shy to talk
to me and the jerks are too cool to talk to me.
As for 'silly to serious'.. any serious thread in
> retrospect will look silly. Any silly thread will always look silly. But
> with time they will look really hilarious.
So which is this a vote for? Not that I could add anything either way.
>
> C'mon kaberi, I'm on my knees. My colleages think I'm praying. I tell
> them I'm looking for a queen in a stacked deck. I forget what you were
> going to tell us about. Oh! nice-desi boys. How about a questionaire?
Let's start with a point-by-point comparison. Feel free to add extra
examples or comments as you wish.
Nice desi-boys: Smile and speak to desi-girls wherever they meet them,
regardless of how approachable they may or may not seem. They limit their
conversation to subjects that indicate, "Perhaps you are an interesting
person."
Jerks: (1) don't speak to desi-girls that don't look cool (just like white
boys) or desi-girls that don't have the nerve to smile first
OR
(2) approach desi-girls with the attitude "since we have the same ethnic
heritage, you must be interested in me."
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-09089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
>
> let me patronise you a little my dear, atleast I have used a language that
> more people reading this newsgroup will understand, rather than spanish :
> )
Ah, but my ego being what it is, I have to post in Spanish occasionally to
demonstrate that I actually have a skill of some kind. Around all you
computer and business and math and science types, my puny brains don't
measure up, so speaking occasional Spanish is my way of reminding myself,
and everyone else, that I am actually worthy of posting on this
newsgroup. (Imagined reaction of reader: What is this, Spanish? So, she
knows Spanish. At least she knows something. She obviously doesn't know
anything else.)
>
> kaberi : the line is "you're gonna have to beg real bad for this boy" and
> my fantasies are never about women in leather, only Madhuri devi in a silk
> Benarasi sari, (dry and with no hint of monsoon rains or lakes in the
> vicinity), and she never makes me beg, we sit and have tea on the lawn and
> my mother talks to her mother about the auspicious moment. or something
> like that. : )
For someone who doesn't fantasize about leather, you certainly have a
fertile imagination, provided with the right stimulus.
>
> >Anyway, at the very least such a
> > discussion would force this thread to go from silly to serious, and we
> > wouldn't want that.
> >
> > Would we???
>
>
> speak for yourself (again) Ms Chakrabarti : )
OK, one vote for "serious is acceptable". I'm saving my vote for the
end. Any other ballots coming in before we close the polls?
Sanju Malhotra
very few threads in this newsgroup have produced
such fruitful discussion, allow me as such, in nice
desi-boy fashion,to raise my hand ever so meekly -
careful, in the process, not to disturb the
mindnumbing dance of the millions of other lost souls,
who share with me, this dark corner of our classroom
- in vain hopes, that the illustrious teachers we
have before us shall call upon me to speak...
...[waiting...]
...[still waiting...]
is this why men become jerks? oh, but the prospect
of having a woman discuss, as opposed to lecture on,
what constitutes a nice desi-boy, is far too
tempting an invitation to decline (...yes...I
am aware that I have not really been asked to come
out and play, but is that not the beauty of this
forum...)
Do women equate "niceness" with physical passivity,
and is that why nice desi-boys always finish last?
[Listening...]
ironically, some of the nicest people I've
met, desi or otherwise, are perhaps, from a
physical standpoint, the deadliest..having
found their source within, their empowerment
does not come at the expense of others...
Do emotionally nice desi-boys offer no resistance,
giving in to their lover's every whim and desire?
[Listening...]
should it not be possible for a nice-desi
boy to disagree with a nice-desi girl,
provided that is, he has bowed to her in
respect before the confrontation begins...
that is to say, is he not permitted to
utter the words, "I love YOU, but I dislike
(hate is probably too strong) some of the
things you do"...
Is there any truth to Shiv's enlightening conjecture?...
> ...But maybe women relish full haired men, so that
> they can point out with glee later on 'That bald
> guy there! haha! He tried to understand me!'
Sanju
Kaberi Chakrabarty
> very few threads in this newsgroup have produced
> such fruitful discussion, allow me as such, in nice
> desi-boy fashion,to raise my hand ever so meekly -
> - in vain hopes, that the illustrious teachers we
> have before us shall call upon me to speak...
Though, I'm not sure whether you mean this metaphorically or not, I'll
assume you were addressing me, if only indirectly. By the way, what
newsgroup are you reading this on? (Thinking about saying something in
Bengali here, but I wouldn't want to use a language that my audience
doesn't know.:-))
>
>
> ...[waiting...]
>
>
> ...[still waiting...]
>
>
> is this why men become jerks?
Depends on who you ask, I guess. You seem to suggest that perhaps men
become jerks because they can't get any attention being nice desi-boys.
Shiv, on the other hand, would have it that one might start off OK being
nice, but sooner or later, one gets dumped rather cruelly and turns to
being a jerk as some sort of
revenge fantasy (?).
oh, but the prospect
> of having a woman discuss, as opposed to lecture on,
> what constitutes a nice desi-boy, is far too
> tempting an invitation to decline (...yes...I
> am aware that I have not really been asked to come
> out and play, but is that not the beauty of this
> forum...)
Indeed it is. Please continue.
>
> Do women equate "niceness" with physical passivity,
> and is that why nice desi-boys always finish last?
(Pointing out emphatically that I am speaking for myself here)
My guess is no. If such were the case, the computer nerds would have it
all over the jocks, I think.
>
> [Listening...]
>
> ironically, some of the nicest people I've
> met, desi or otherwise, are perhaps, from a
> physical standpoint, the deadliest..having
> found their source within, their empowerment
> does not come at the expense of others...
Certainly not a prospect I had considered, though it does make sense when
you put it that way.
>
> Do emotionally nice desi-boys offer no resistance,
> giving in to their lover's every whim and desire?
Again, my guess is no, for analogous reasons to those given above.
>
> [Listening...]
>
> should it not be possible for a nice-desi
> boy to disagree with a nice-desi girl,
> provided that is, he has bowed to her in
> respect before the confrontation begins...
> that is to say, is he not permitted to
> utter the words, "I love YOU, but I dislike
> (hate is probably too strong) some of the
> things you do"...
Ooh, this is inching closer to the painful truth. Again, trying to speak
from my own experience, I would say that yes, certainly this should be
possible. If it seems not to be, that would probably stem from one of a
few reasons: (1) Desi-girl may have been a little spoiled by her parents,
and convinced that she ought to be able to find someone who does agree
with her consistently. (2) Desi-girl may be more than a little insecure (
perhaps even a little paranoid) so that once she hears the second part,
she automatically discounts the first part. (3) Desi-girl may have been
exposed to early training that suggested that she ought to be the meek one
and give in; if she decides at some point that this was bad advice, she
may be reacting against it by deciding to be "strong" and possibly going
too far in the other direction. I'm sure there are other possibilities.
>
> Is there any truth to Shiv's enlightening conjecture?...
> > ...But maybe women relish full haired men, so that
> > they can point out with glee later on 'That bald
> > guy there! haha! He tried to understand me!'
Presumably desi-girls are not the only ones who are insecure:-).
>
> Sanju
Sanju Malhotra
please allow me state emphatically
that the first part of my
previous post was in no way
designed to be a "dig" at your
profession...:)
although Shiv's theory on the origin
of jerkdom was interesting, may I be
so bold as to suggest that an
individual who
> turns to being a jerk as some
> sort of revenge fantasy
was in truth never a nice desi-boy...
the difficulty here is that words
carry a great deal of personal
imagery...nevertheless, I would
equate being nice with a willingness
to share of oneself, irrespective of
a desi-girl's reaction...as
previously alluded to, this is not
to imply complete passivity, but
rather an ability to grow without
depriving others of their
sustenance...
> (1) Desi-girl may have been a
> little spoiled by her parents,
> and convinced that she ought to
> be able to find someone who does
> agree with her consistently
...would such a woman only want her
bill's paid, her meal's cooked and
her feet massaged?...when an
individual enters a relationship
without any willingness to learn,
have they not merely traded away the
joy of being surprised, for the
stability of prison walls?...would
loving parents really desire this
stagnant state for their daughter?
> (3) Desi-girl may have been
> exposed to early training that
> suggested that she ought to be
> the meek one and give in...
is there really a school for
meekness...:)...or are you to
suggest that the desi-girl grew
up in an environment where the
"power distribution" was heavily
skewed, and so she naturally
tended to emulate her father, in
almost a bid for self-preservation,
whereas, her nice desi-boy
brother travelled along the
opposite path...
> (2) Desi-girl may be more
> than a little insecure
this really does intrigue me,
what after all would a nice
desi-girl have to be insecure
about?...(I'm really not trying
to be sarcastic...:)...),
specifically, are you referring
to phyiscal, emotional,
intellectual or spiritual
insecurities, and what kind of
environment does a nice desi-boy
have to help construct so that
these issues can be resolved?
btw...you can post some of
Tagore's earlier works if you
like, but I will have to
be contented with only
his sounds...
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-100...@lv007-126.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <dsen-09089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
>
[Daulat wants to patronise]
>
> Ah, but my ego being what it is,
excuse me, but sometime last week you suggested that you had no ego! So
are we dealing then with the monsters of your id? Not "The Monsters of
Eid", who are a really cool kickass Heavy Metal band from Lahore. A bit
like "Malditos vecindad y los hijos del quinto patio", but completely
different. (see worked in a spanish speaking link in there just for your
benefit!)
> I have to post in Spanish occasionally to
> demonstrate that I actually have a skill of some kind.
actually being able to post on here at all (given some newsreaders) is a
skill in itself, so please feel heartened by that revelation.
>Around all you
> computer and business and math and science types, my puny brains don't
> measure up, so speaking occasional Spanish is my way of reminding myself,
> and everyone else, that I am actually worthy of posting on this
> newsgroup.
ah yes, the self denigration plea of sympathy. It wont work I am afraid.
People here will just assume you are showing off
[Daulat's recurring fantasy about Madhuri devi which invariably leaves him
breaking out in hot flushes]
>
> For someone who doesn't fantasize about leather, you certainly have a
> fertile imagination, provided with the right stimulus.
>
I never said I don't fantasise about leather! I dream of one day being
able to remove the stench from the tanneries of Tangra and give odour free
leather production to the people of Calcutta.
As for stimuli ... there are many types, though I generally avoid the ones
involving cattle prods. Though Joan Chen could try cattle prods on me, I
can live with that.
> > speak for yourself (again) Ms Chakrabarti : )
>
> OK, one vote for "serious is acceptable". I'm saving my vote for the
> end. Any other ballots coming in before we close the polls?
> --
no
Daulat Sen
> From: kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty)
> Date: 1996/08/09
> Message-Id: <kaberi19-090...@lv008-157.starnetinc.com>
>
> Newsgroups: soc.culture.bengali,alt.culture.us.asian-Indian
>
> >> In article <320A13...@amber.int>, Shivram <To_T...@amber.int>
> >> wrote:
> - ignore their posts. Also, detractors are usually dumb, insecure people
> with low self-esteem.
or they are smart, secure and brimming with self confidence, like all good
desi boys
unlike me who got out of bed the wrong side today. I AM HAVING A BAAAD
DAY AND YOU SHALL ALL SUFFER!!!!!
>Unlike nice desi-boys who are usually married and
> need their wives permission to speak up. [that's not the real desi boy,
> is it]
not all nice desi boys are married ... you yourself in your former
incarnation managed to avoid this pitfall!
>
> That's absolutely true. How do I know you are not freddie balsara. I
> don't laugh at opinions. I only laugh at sheep. And at goats, softly. And
> at myself. All three are exclusive...... so NO wise cracks.
>
so does freddie balsara have any wise cracks? how do i know that you are
not freddie krueger?
have you tried laughing at crocs? goats cheese is also soft ... does that
explain your laughter? and are you in the habit of eating goats?
> Oh NO! I have enough material to be the consummate jerk. All I have to do
> is do the opposite of what I used to do before.
so for example, in the past you would open doors, now you would slam them
in people's faces?
> Then the ice maidens came..er! the ice ages.
ah ... but beneath every ice maiden lurks a raving nympho, which for most
boys (note boys and not just desi ones) is fine as long as they nymph up
with aforementioned boy and no one else. which is an interesting paradox
is it not? I am sure there is a reference to it in the Gita.
> This is the 'ghost who walks'. I am drifting... everything sounds dull and
> numb. It's a hazy purple..or is it violet..or magenta?
your Phantom voice haunts the forests of the night ... where is Lothar?
Mind you, with all that 80 proof, its more likely to be the ghost who
stumbles and staggers and shouts "Sala, bahut piyela!!" and lurches off
into the dark alleys of Mumbai nagri at night.
>
> I see hell from here. The're having a gala time. Daulat is there.
down in Beelzebub's boiler room there is a shovel with my name on it. The
fallen angel, no one can save him ...
(was THAT good bobby?)
>No Joan
> chen. Oh! there she is. A few sheep. There's madhuri. Rambha, urvashi and
> menaka.
Madhuri devi could never ever be in hell. Its just not possible, get a
grip man!!!
>Sonali bhendre glides onto his other lap.
she does no such thing!! Your uncle should be ashamed of himself, at his
age, cavorting with a girl half his age!!! Shameful!! Besides, her
carnet de balle already has my name on it.
> AND ME? Peter paul and mary are with me. They are espousing the virtues
> of being the nice-desi boy (how to become extinct). My eyes dart
> constantly towards hell. It's not fair. It's not fair, I moan. And
> groan. I be nice desi boy. I get peter and paul and mary and a mile long
> sermon.
peter, paul and mary? weren't they big in the 70's? maybe you are the
one in hell and i am in heaven? Maybe this whole heaven - hell thing is
all topsy turvey? Maybe all these years we have all been brainwashed into
believing what cannot be believed? maybe desi girls are interested in
desi boys after all? Nah, its a figment of my imagination ...
>
> So me make big decision. Jesus insists 'jesus is the way'. I say, 'jesus,
> look down, the way to heaven is there'. SO ME SET FOOT ON PATH TO BE
> JERK. ME GO AND BEAT UP ME UNCLE AND TAKE OVER SONALI.
has anyone asked Sonali if she prefers you over your uncle? I think its
an important question. Mind you, in fantasies, desi girls always say
"yes", so that should be ok. In real life they only say yes if and only
if you have suffered enough. and even then its not a safe bet.
>Daulat can have
> sheep, madhuri and madonna. Me need hot shower and bundle up in sheep..er!
> I mean wool to warm up after seeing madonna.
>
so madona leaves you cold? not surprised really. I never found her
remotely attractive, not even in the good old days when she used to play a
bimbo. Anyway, if I had Madhuri, I would want for nothing else ... mind
you, Madonna could look after the sheep for us and be our naukrani/jhee
and that would be good.
> [My thesis]
> It does'nt pay to be a nice desi-boy any more.
correction, never did.
> Now I'm just a
> lonely, not so nice desi-boy, becomming not so nicer every moment.
and you are far from lonely, what with the droves of bad boy taming girls
chasing you in order to bring you back to the righteous path ...
> My
> girlfriend ran away with a beer.
de duh de duh
I woke up this morning lord and my girlfriend ran away with a beer ...
de duh de duh ...
play me some blues shivvie ...
>She's the one who came up with 50 reasons
> why beer is better than a man.
no she didnt ... girls dont drink beer, least of all desi girls.
> All the desi guys are after her now. She gives them the birdie, and
> says, she will never date desi-boys. In fact she doesn't even look at them
> (I think she yearns for me... like, wanting to stick a knife in me).
she may not be the only desi girl to want to do that! Which is kinda
flattering in a way, dont you think? I mean how many people feel that
strong emotion for you?
> Desi-boys now say desi women are cold, stuck-up and have an attitude. Did
> I forget white skin lovers. Coconuts!!! Desi-women hearing all that, get
> together and say, desi-boys are jerks.
ah yes, the old balance of terror! Mutually Assured Destruction et al.
>They don't know how to approach a
> desi-woman (desi-boy thinks he has to run around trees to woo her, after
> seeing all those movies),
see we do all that and end up getting dizzy, so we cant string coherent
sentences together
>
> Desi-boy say desi-women are difficult to date. In fact if one desi-boy
> could date a desi girl ... they will be awarded the nobel prize for peace,
> love and the pursuit of happiness.
actually dating (or the first date) is just half the battle, the real
peace prize is awarded if you can manage to get a second date and not
mention the "M" word. whilst on the other hand desi girls can date white
boys as often as they want and no one is ever going to say the "M" word.
sorted.
>After being dissed out by
> desi-women, desi-boy drives up to the bar in mustang (the 6-cylinder car).
> Sees american (white) girl,
her name was Debbie, wasnt it?
>unattached and dressed to kill and floating
> on a bar-stool.
any girl who can levitate must be worth dating! just think of the party
tricks!!!????!
>Desi-boy nearly has heart attack. But steadies himself
> against pole that sprang from nowhere.
aw c'mon, must have been from somewhere!
> Desi-boy swaggers in like
> jeetendra .... dressed in white pant with silver stripe, white shirt (all
> buttones undone) with more silver stripes, white shoes with no silver
> stripe. Slides up to bar-fly ... and whispers, I've got a six-cylinder
> mustang and one to spare, wanna shift my gears and hear my engine roar.
you forgot to mention, whilst chewing paan ... makes a big difference.
> So desi-boy picks up girl (she's a hooker).
you mean she plays rugby? The boys from Wanganaiki will be most pleased!!
(The hooker is the chap wedged between the prop forwards who has to get
the ball out of the scrum. it involves lots of close physical contact
with lots of big sweaty men clasping you firmly between your legs.)
> Now, desi-boys date only americans. Says american women are easy and
> sometimes sunny side up (must be thinking of eggs).
but girls when thinking of eggs generally prefer them to remain
unfertilised, so no wonder desi boys get all scrambled and dream about
being poached by white grills.
> arseholes also. They say desi-boys are COCONUTS!! (Desi-boys are always
> nuts).
any desi boy who can cope with all that dissing and come back for more
must be a nut, or at least a masochist.
>Desi-girl says.... american women .. gold digger, and desi men
> date american women because they can go from zero to horizontal lambada in
> 6 seconds.
hey, white people cant dance, its been proven in clinical tests.
> Desi-dakter-bhai most wanted victim. Poor kumputer programmer
> always poor kumputer programmer (only gets sheep and bad eyesight).
no, just the bad eyesight, even the sheep prefer doctors these days.
> Desi-girl say desi-boys are white skin lovers.
better than saying "slut lovers" I suppose
> return. Desi-bhai will return without mustang. Desi-behan will return
> with two kids.
>
and they will jump into the funeral pyre and death and destruction will
ensue. ( I told you I was having a bad day). The darkness overtakes me, I
cannot hold on any longer ... bring on the night!!!
> Somewhere domino's pizza truck smashes into tree. Domino effect coined.
> DID I DO ALL THAT? I think it was my mother who started all this. [Ex-desi
> boys always blame mothers]
>
mothers are expert at blame taking. its their payback for all the
emotional blackmail they dump on their sons : )
e.g. - "If you marry a white girl I'll kill myself!!!"
what if the pizza hut truck smashed into a tree, does that negate the
domino effect?
[begging lines]
>
> Is 'tease me, please me' any part of it.
no, its "let me tease you and watch you squirm". In fact I was in a
conversation recently with a desi girl who was saying "its terrible what
we do to men sometimes, the things we make them do with just a smile ...
" at this point i was on the floor cleaning her shoes so i couldnt
actually tell if she was smiling or not. I think i will go in for hormone
treatment to see if that will stop me falling for that old trick
everytime!!!!
>
> C'mon kaberi, I'm on my knees. My colleages think I'm praying. I tell
> them I'm looking for a queen in a stacked deck.
you and your queens, when are you going to meet some real women?
> SOS kaberi. Save our souls. I am sinking into the vast cesspool of
> jerkhood. As all desi boys do I pray 'O! devi, save me'.
>
you see Kaberi, you too get elevated to devi-hood. This newsgroup must be
doing wonders for your ego? though i'd steer well clear of the cesspool
of jerkhood for the moment.
> The dictionary shows:
>
> desi-boy - Look up dinosaurs
look what up dinosaurs?
> dinosaurs - they used to be good pets, easily trained (but has
> annoying habit of leaving toilet seat up), now they're
> extinct now.
any thing leaving toilet seats up incurs the wrath of the woman scorned
and must be destroyed.
> --
> ***********************************************************
> "Oh people, you have to sin. Since you had not done so,
> God would not have sent a seduction on you as intoxicating as me!"
> - Madhuri Dissit, Fawn of Fawns
>
> ***********************************************************
swoon, faint ... I have just visualised her dance from "Piya ghar aaya"
and i am now in need of a cold shower. ... thud.
Daulat devi worshipper Sen
Shiv
Subject: Re: Are Indian Men afraid of dressing ethnically? The Kaberi Thread
From: kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty)
Newsgroups: alt.culture.us.asian-Indian,soc.culture.bengali
In article <320BB4...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <Shivra...@intelsat.int> wrote:
> From: kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty)
> When arjuna asked krishna that question ..... the answer was compiled as
> the 'GITA'. But I tell you in three words, SHOOT AT SIGHT
>This kind of rampant violence will get you no where. Pretty soon the only
>ones left will be me and you, and...oh...never mind.
And we'd never make music together coz' I'm the desi-boy er! jerk, and you're the
cool desi-girl. Actually, krishna ended up saying, shoot dem
*BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP*. So, I am right. Sorry. Desiboys are always
wrong. Only jerks are right.
(long descripton of Shiv's path from desi nice-guyhood to the paradise of
jerkdom deleted)
>(Shiv's interesting theory of the history of YW male-female relationships
>cruelly condensed to the following:
>Desi-boy tells the truth, gets in trouble, gets dumped, becomes a jerk.
>Desi-girl and dumper decides all desi-boys are jerks.
>Desi-boy sees that desi-girls won't go near him anymore, starts going
>after amriki women.
>Desi-girl decides desi-boys are coconuts, starts going out with amriki men.
>Turns out the whole thing is desi-boy's mother's fault. Who knew?
Desi-boys mother always at fault. Only nice-desi boys listen to their mothers.
Even if married, never stands beside wife, always hides behind mama's skirt or
sari.
>So, Shiv, if you have this whole thing figured out already, what can I
>possibly tell you that you don't already know? It's not like I have any
>experience with desi-boys myself, since the nice ones are too shy to talk
>to me and the jerks are too cool to talk to me.
The hope beyond hope. Even jerks can be wrong. There you have it.... I was wrong.
I admit it. Nice-desi boys and shyness go hand in hand. But jerks... they
always view themselves as predators. And desi-womena s prey. So why would they
not speak with you.
>Let's start with a point-by-point comparison. Feel free to add extra
>examples or comments as you wish.
>Nice desi-boys: Smile and speak to desi-girls wherever they meet them,
>regardless of how approachable they may or may not seem. They limit their
>conversation to subjects that indicate, "Perhaps you are an interesting
>person."
>Jerks: (1) don't speak to desi-girls that don't look cool (just like white
>boys) or desi-girls that don't have the nerve to smile firstOR
>(2) approach desi-girls with the attitude "since we have the same ethnic
>heritage, you must be interested in me."
AW! you ask the tough ones first. Now I will lack confidence.
BUt wait, I smile at everybody. I think I get dissed as a loony. That's not
fair (anyway nothing is fair to desi-boys). When I smile some desi-women run a
mile (I swear I have good teeth, my dentist's new car is proof). Some desi women
are wary and they look from the corner of their eyes. I think the teleprompter
reveals that 'is he coming over to talk...oh! my god he's coming here'. Then
they snarl, fangs and all, and I shiver away. They look at me with an
attitude... just because we have the same ethnicity it doesn't mean that you have
to approach me. I think it's the chicken and the egg - which came first thing.
I speak with desi girls even if they don't look cool. I think even saris are
cool. Even if they're hot and sweaty (as opposed to cool) I speak.
I fit your nice-desi boy category. Although I must admit that given the past
coldness from desi women I keep a little distance, like a mile. It can be
mistaken for being shy. But I'm not that. Daulat are you listening. Here's your
chance for redemption. Madhuri does not like jerks ... only nice desi boys.
It's never too late to save yourself.
--
Shiv
> >Unlike nice desi-boys who are usually married and
> > need their wives permission to speak up. [that's not the real desi boy,
> > is it]
>
> not all nice desi boys are married ... you yourself in your former
> incarnation managed to avoid this pitfall!
But I was sweet, shy and gullible .... only when marriage came did I go
bonkers...
> > That's absolutely true. How do I know you are not freddie balsara. I
> so does freddie balsara have any wise cracks? how do i know that you are
> not freddie krueger?
If I was you brain would have been mangled, with blood ozzing from your eyes.
You'd have really wished that you were born a chihuahua.
> > Oh NO! I have enough material to be the consummate jerk. All I have to do
> > is do the opposite of what I used to do before.
> so for example, in the past you would open doors, now you would slam them
> in people's faces?
Yeah, esp. women.
> > Then the ice maidens came..er! the ice ages.
>
> ah ... but beneath every ice maiden lurks a raving nympho, which for most
> boys (note boys and not just desi ones) is fine as long as they nymph up
> with aforementioned boy and no one else. which is an interesting paradox
> is it not? I am sure there is a reference to it in the Gita.
Say! you don't mean it. That explains why the subway girl although icy cold
breathed warmly down my neck. I was thinking she had shortness of breath, but
I was thinking she just needed to sink her fangs in my neck..like dracula.
> > This is the 'ghost who walks'. I am drifting... everything sounds dull and
> > numb. It's a hazy purple..or is it violet..or magenta?
>
> your Phantom voice haunts the forests of the night ... where is Lothar?
> Mind you, with all that 80 proof, its more likely to be the ghost who
> stumbles and staggers and shouts "Sala, bahut piyela!!" and lurches off
> into the dark alleys of Mumbai nagri at night.
Touche!
> >Sonali bhendre glides onto his other lap.
>
> she does no such thing!! Your uncle should be ashamed of himself, at his
> age, cavorting with a girl half his age!!! Shameful!! Besides, her
> carnet de balle already has my name on it.
Back off sonali, daulat.... I will pray to be born as a pitbull with an ornery
disposition. My uncle was never ashamed of anything. That's why he was born a
chihuahua.
> all topsy turvey? Maybe all these years we have all been brainwashed into
> believing what cannot be believed? maybe desi girls are interested in
> desi boys after all? Nah, its a figment of my imagination ...
You mean des-boys and nice desi-boys being mutually exclusive. Don't hold such
thoughts or hell wil freeze over.
> > So me make big decision. Jesus insists 'jesus is the way'. I say, 'jesus,
> > look down, the way to heaven is there'. SO ME SET FOOT ON PATH TO BE
> > JERK. ME GO AND BEAT UP ME UNCLE AND TAKE OVER SONALI.
>
> has anyone asked Sonali if she prefers you over your uncle? I think its
> an important question. Mind you, in fantasies, desi girls always say
> "yes", so that should be ok. In real life they only say yes if and only
> if you have suffered enough. and even then its not a safe bet.
Desi girls always say yes. After decades of
repression/suprression/regression/transgression they do not know how to say
no. When they learned, they were beaten to submission. Else they would be
burned. So ask sonali. Obviously she should prefer me since my uncle is a
chihuahua. That's why this desperate plea to be born as something else.
Wishful thinking says pitbull.
> > [My thesis]
> > It does'nt pay to be a nice desi-boy any more.
>
> correction, never did.
Well, learned it too late. Could have spent my time learning to hang-glide.
> > Now I'm just a
> > lonely, not so nice desi-boy, becomming not so nicer every moment.
>
> and you are far from lonely, what with the droves of bad boy taming girls
> chasing you in order to bring you back to the righteous path ...
I was told to pick a number and wait...it was goolgolplex something. By the
time my number is calle dI should become the evil epitome.
> > My girlfriend ran away with a beer.
> de duh de duh
> I woke up this morning lord and my girlfriend ran away with a beer ...
> de duh de duh ...
> play me some blues shivvie ...
I wish they were country songs. That way I would get everything back when
played in the reverse.
> >She's the one who came up with 50 reasons
> > why beer is better than a man.
>
> no she didnt ... girls dont drink beer, least of all desi girls.
Oh! No, I know some sari wearing, nacho and cheese munching, beer swigging,...
oh! those were crocs.
> > All the desi guys are after her now. She gives them the birdie, and
> > says, she will never date desi-boys. In fact she doesn't even look at them
> > (I think she yearns for me... like, wanting to stick a knife in me).
> she may not be the only desi girl to want to do that! Which is kinda
> flattering in a way, dont you think? I mean how many people feel that
> strong emotion for you?
Right now I can name one with 100% certainty. :-)
> >After being dissed out by
> > desi-women, desi-boy drives up to the bar in mustang (the 6-cylinder car).
> > Sees american (white) girl,
>
> her name was Debbie, wasnt it?
Don't tell me you were there.
> >unattached and dressed to kill and floating
> > on a bar-stool.
>
> any girl who can levitate must be worth dating! just think of the party
> tricks!!!????!
Maybe that's why I have this fetish for women's gymnasts. That svetlana
boginskaya.... is she VROOOOOOOM VROOOOOM or what. Or that henrietta
onodi...... VAVOOOM VAVOOOOOM...... AOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!. Here the wolves
howling.
> >Desi-boy nearly has heart attack. But steadies himself
> > against pole that sprang from nowhere.
>
> aw c'mon, must have been from somewhere!
Ok! it was attached to his body.
> > Desi-boy swaggers in like
> > jeetendra .... dressed in white pant with silver stripe, white shirt (all
> > buttones undone) with more silver stripes, white shoes with no silver
> > stripe. Slides up to bar-fly ... and whispers, I've got a six-cylinder
> > mustang and one to spare, wanna shift my gears and hear my engine roar.
>
> you forgot to mention, whilst chewing paan ... makes a big difference.
Beedi smoking too (beedi had one red stripe).
> > So desi-boy picks up girl (she's a hooker).
>
> you mean she plays rugby? The boys from Wanganaiki will be most pleased!!
> (The hooker is the chap wedged between the prop forwards who has to get
> the ball out of the scrum. it involves lots of close physical contact
> with lots of big sweaty men clasping you firmly between your legs.)
I would like that too, but not by men. By big blond sweaty germans girl called
olga or helga (definitely not heidi).
> >Desi-girl says.... american women .. gold digger, and desi men
> > date american women because they can go from zero to horizontal lambada in
> > 6 seconds.
>
> hey, white people cant dance, its been proven in clinical tests.
What the heck is the macarena then. (stupid dance if ever there was one... I'd
rather be line dancing with the cow-girls)
> > Desi-dakter-bhai most wanted victim. Poor kumputer programmer
> > always poor kumputer programmer (only gets sheep and bad eyesight).
>
> no, just the bad eyesight, even the sheep prefer doctors these days.
More proof that teh world is darkening.
> > Desi-girl say desi-boys are white skin lovers.
>
> better than saying "slut lovers" I suppose
You better have double kevlars on.
> > return. Desi-bhai will return without mustang. Desi-behan will return
> > with two kids.
> and they will jump into the funeral pyre and death and destruction will
> ensue. ( I told you I was having a bad day). The darkness overtakes me, I
> cannot hold on any longer ... bring on the night!!!
And more darkness? Forget it daulat, Your life has always been dark and empty,
with sheep and dreams of madhuri. Welcome brother to the hotel california...
you can check out anytime you want but you can never leave.
As for desi boy...he plots revenge... and is nabled by anti-stalker law. He
embarrases all desis because... some lady who purports to be an expert on all
issues... proclaims that is is an epidemic among desis. That all desi
boys are obsessed stalkers because deepak nautiyal called once and shiv wrote
twice.
And desi-behan is rejected by mom and pop...with a million I told you sos...
then they agree arranged marriage would have worked. She'd be beaten close to
death but atleast she'd be married. She would atleast die a sumangali. Or be
thrown into the fire when her husband dies. Bad lawyer snags nothing.
Desi-behan lives on welfare but thankfully in her rejection of desis ..she
rejected her desi-land and became amerikki citizen. Now Bill clinton signs her
welfare check... (buchanan mutters ... goddamn brownie with two nougats).
Kaberi, I was letting my evil thoughts go amuck. I think bobby's friend is
driving.
> > Somewhere domino's pizza truck smashes into tree. Domino effect coined.
> > DID I DO ALL THAT? I think it was my mother who started all this. [Ex-desi
> > boys always blame mothers]
>
> mothers are expert at blame taking. its their payback for all the
> emotional blackmail they dump on their sons : )
> e.g. - "If you marry a white girl I'll kill myself!!!"
Sad, kaberi doesn't understand that. That's not what my mother said, 'she said
no kids before marriage.' Now I have lifetime supply of RU486. But as nice
-desi boy I had lifetime supply of rameses. Looked like an egyptian mummy in
the dark. NIce desi boys don't have sex. [Hmmm! No more comments]
> what if the pizza hut truck smashed into a tree, does that negate the
> domino effect?
No! But does it make any noise. If id did, then it is sound, otherwise...
there are soundwaves only.
> [begging lines]
> >
> > Is 'tease me, please me' any part of it.
>
> no, its "let me tease you and watch you squirm". In fact I was in a
> conversation recently with a desi girl who was saying "its terrible what
> we do to men sometimes, the things we make them do with just a smile ...
> " at this point i was on the floor cleaning her shoes so i couldnt
> actually tell if she was smiling or not. I think i will go in for hormone
If you had polished her shoes properly you could've see her reflection. But I
think you are on your hands and knees at her feet for other reasons.
> > C'mon kaberi, I'm on my knees. My colleages think I'm praying. I tell
> > them I'm looking for a queen in a stacked deck.
>
> you and your queens, when are you going to meet some real women?
Do real women exist? I have seen 4-5 women on the ngs. One sheep, one daulat
and lately one sanju (he). Isn't it teh duty of every-nice-desi boy to elevate
women to the status of queens and devis. I mean we have a temple for kushboo.
> you see Kaberi, you too get elevated to devi-hood. This newsgroup must be
> doing wonders for your ego? though i'd steer well clear of the cesspool
> of jerkhood for the moment.
Arrgggh! He is evil.
> > The dictionary shows:
> >
> > desi-boy - Look up dinosaurs
>
> look what up dinosaurs?
Arrgggh! He is evil + 1.
> > dinosaurs - they used to be good pets, easily trained (but has
> > annoying habit of leaving toilet seat up), now they're
> > extinct now.
>
> any thing leaving toilet seats up incurs the wrath of the woman scorned
> and must be destroyed.
The toilet seat?
> swoon, faint ... I have just visualised her dance from "Piya ghar aaya"
> and i am now in need of a cold shower. ... thud.
You need no cold shower. You need to be thrown into prison where you will meet
1) desi-boy snagged as stalker and can never walk again (he met Leroy)
2) a 350 pound balding load of guts known as bubba (real name leroy) .... with
one gold teeth and loves desi boys and welcomes them pouting 'ooooh! my poor
baby, come to mama.'
> Daulat devi worshipper Sen
Not anymore (after meeting leroy).
Shiv
Sanju Malhotra wrote:
>
> please allow me state emphatically that the first part of my
> previous post was in no way designed to be a "dig" at your
> profession...:)
Now you tell her. Youmust apologize first and then insult.
> although Shiv's theory on the origin of jerkdom was interesting, may I
>be so bold as to suggest that an individual who
> > turns to being a jerk as some
> > sort of revenge fantasy
> was in truth never a nice desi-boy... the difficulty here is that words
> carry a great deal of personal imagery...nevertheless, I would
> equate being nice with a willingness to share of oneself, irrespective of a desi-girl's reaction...as previously alluded to, this is not
> to imply complete passivity, but rather an ability to grow without
> depriving others of their sustenance...
Interesting!? it was brilliant. It explains everything. Even the possible
opressive mother-in-law. [Whew am I glad she doesn't have access to it]
You can assume anything.. Sanju, I cpould've been born a chihuahua too.
I think maybe my attitude of give, give, give..theetrnal kubera..got me
in trouble. I think I was too nice. And you are right it's not
passivity but just an indication of an enormous heart. :-)
> > (1) Desi-girl may have been a little spoiled by her parents,
> > and convinced that she ought to be able to find someone who does
> > agree with her consistently
> ...would such a woman only want her
> bill's paid, her meal's cooked and
> her feet massaged?...when an
I would like my bills paid, meals cooked and feet massaged. But it
should be a two street.
> individual enters a relationship without any willingness to learn,
> have they not merely traded away the joy of being surprised, for the
> stability of prison walls?...would loving parents really desire this
> stagnant state for their daughter?
The same applies to desi-boys, na? Would the desi girl prefer a life a
stability than one with unpleasant surprises. Would loving parents
really desire this turmoil of a life for their daughter and son.
> > (3) Desi-girl may have been exposed to early training that
> > suggested that she ought to be the meek one and give in...
>
> is there really a school for meekness...:)...or are you to
Doesn't Ann landers run a school.
> suggest that the desi-girl grew up in an environment where the
> "power distribution" was heavily skewed, and so she naturally
> tended to emulate her father, in almost a bid for self-preservation,
> whereas, her nice desi-boy brother travelled along the
> opposite path...
A meek father or domineering father. A domineering mother or meek
fatehr. Which one she would learn. As for the desi boy.. don't worry he
will join us soon.
> > (2) Desi-girl may be more than a little insecure
> this really does intrigue me, what after all would a nice
> desi-girl have to be insecure about?...(I'm really not trying
> to be sarcastic...:)...), specifically, are you referring
Now that you mention it....
> to phyiscal, emotional, intellectual or spiritual
> insecurities, and what kind of environment does a nice desi-boy
> have to help construct so that these issues can be resolved?
Insecurity created by the nice-desi turned jerk. Ah! so the nice desi is
the one who has to construct a conducive atmosphere so that the desi-girl
can feel more secure. I though equal rights and equal opportunity was
the order of the day. Did somebody say SEXIST. Must be something in the
air. SHouldn't they also work towards ridding themselves of the
insecurities. I think I lost track of the issues.
> btw...you can post some of Tagore's earlier works if you
> like, but I will have to be contented with only
> his sounds...
You had the guts to write this in soc.culture.bengali.... I have to pity
you. :-) It'll be a little painful, then you'll get used to it when you
skin hardens.
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <320E7D...@utsi.edu>, Sanju Malhotra <smal...@utsi.edu> wrote:
nevertheless, I would
> equate being nice with a willingness
> to share of oneself, irrespective of
> a desi-girl's reaction
That's a very humanistic, 90's-sensitive type of definition.
>
> > (1) Desi-girl may have been a
> > little spoiled by her parents,
would
> loving parents really desire this
> stagnant state for their daughter?
Dunno. Naturally you are seeing this from the wounded nice desi-boy point
of view, a parent (particularly an OF [raised in India], might see it more
from a "if my daughter is going to be raised in America, she's going to
have the best of everything" point of view
>
> is there really a school for
> meekness...:)
Some would say that Indian conditioning, at least to some degree, is such
a school, at least for women:-)
...or are you to
> suggest that the desi-girl grew
> up in an environment where the
> "power distribution" was heavily
> skewed, and so she naturally
> tended to emulate her father, in
> almost a bid for self-preservation,
> whereas, her nice desi-boy
> brother travelled along the
> opposite path...
Again, I hadn't thought of it in quite so complicated a fashion.
>
> > (2) Desi-girl may be more
> > than a little insecure
>
> this really does intrigue me,
> what after all would a nice
> desi-girl have to be insecure
> about?...(I'm really not trying
> to be sarcastic...:)...),
That smiley gives the lie to your statement, but I'll try to take it at
face value.
> specifically, are you referring
> to phyiscal, emotional,
> intellectual or spiritual
> insecurities, and what kind of
> environment does a nice desi-boy
> have to help construct so that
> these issues can be resolved?
You know, it's getting increasingly difficult to "speak for myself"
without this becoming some kind of public confessional, and I was never
one much for the talk-show circuit. I would say that, in general,
*anyone* trying to create a supportive environment for a very insecure
person has to have, more than anything, lots of patience. That, and
faith, that after having said a hundred times, "Yes, I really do love you"
"Yes, I think you're attractive" "No, I don't really hate you on the
inside" "No, I'm not interested in anyone else", etc. if it's said often
enough, it will indeed eventually be believed.
>
> btw...you can post some of
> Tagore's earlier works if you
> like, but I will have to
> be contented with only
> his sounds...
Hing ting chhot!
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <dsen-12089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
(Daulat Sen) wrote:
> excuse me, but sometime last week you suggested that you had no ego! So
> are we dealing then with the monsters of your id?
> you see Kaberi, you too get elevated to devi-hood. This newsgroup must be
> doing wonders for your ego?
I think you answered your own question here. Though I must admit, the
first time someone (on the net) addressed me as Kaberidevi, people had to
go running for the cold compress and the smelling salts. I'm still not
used to Kaberidi yet.
And some little brat the other day had the nerve to call me Kaberipishi!
He won't be making that mistake again, at least not until he grows his
teeth back.
Not "The Monsters of
> Eid", who are a really cool kickass Heavy Metal band from Lahore. A bit
> like "Malditos vecindad y los hijos del quinto patio", but completely
> different. (see worked in a spanish speaking link in there just for your
> benefit!)
Thanks so much, but I'm not such a big fan of MV. I rather prefer Mana
("Quiero clavarme en la alberca de tus ojos") (Translation for the
linguistically challenged:"I want to dive into the pool of your eyes")
> ah yes, the self denigration plea of sympathy. It wont work I am afraid.
> People here will just assume you are showing off
Damn! That used to happen in school too. What gave me away?
> > OK, one vote for "serious is acceptable". I'm saving my vote for the
> > end. Any other ballots coming in before we close the polls?
> > --
> no
No, serious is not acceptable, or no, there are no more votes coming in?
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <320F50...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <Shivra...@intelsat.int>
wrote:
> >This kind of rampant violence will get you no where. Pretty soon the only
> >ones left will be me and you, and...oh...never mind.
>
> And we'd never make music together coz' I'm the desi-boy er! jerk, and
you're the
> cool desi-girl.
Who said I am? Who has been spreading these scandalous lies about me?
Obviously someone who knows nothing about me. Lemme at 'em!
> >So, Shiv, if you have this whole thing figured out already, what can I
> >possibly tell you that you don't already know? It's not like I have any
> >experience with desi-boys myself, since the nice ones are too shy to talk
> >to me and the jerks are too cool to talk to me.
>
> The hope beyond hope. Even jerks can be wrong. There you have it.... I
was wrong.
> I admit it.
Ah, ah, ah. Your nice-boy side is showing. Jerks can often be wrong, but
they will never admit it.
Nice-desi boys and shyness go hand in hand. But jerks... they
> always view themselves as predators. And desi-women as prey.
Nnnnnno, not quite. Jerks of all ethnicities only prey upon women that
are considered to be attractive (at least they only prey upon those women
sexually).
> AW! you ask the tough ones first. Now I will lack confidence.
> BUt wait, I smile at everybody. I think I get dissed as a loony. That's not
> fair (anyway nothing is fair to desi-boys). When I smile some desi-women
run a
> mile (I swear I have good teeth, my dentist's new car is proof). Some
desi women
> are wary and they look from the corner of their eyes. I think the
teleprompter
> reveals that 'is he coming over to talk...oh! my god he's coming here'. Then
> they snarl, fangs and all, and I shiver away. They look at me with an
> attitude... just because we have the same ethnicity it doesn't mean that
you have
> to approach me.
I was about to say that these women are jerks and are not worth the time
of day anyway, until I suddenly remembered having those thoughts myself.
Hmmmmm.
I think these things vary a lot depending on the situation. Maybe the
women has a white boyfriend somewhere nearby, or a white guy she really
likes and doesn't want to be friendly to desi guy in front of him. Maybe
she had a rotten day and is not in a tolerant mood. Maybe she recently
suffered some sort of discrimination and is going through one of those
times when she would give anything to be white, and wants to stay away
from anything that reminds her of her heritage. Or maybe she really is a
coconut jerk with an attitude, in which case, screw her. (Oops, maybe
not.) The point is, there are always elements involved that you can't
predict and you can't pick up on til it's too late.
I would say that, at the very least, you should have a good excuse to
approach in such a situation, anything from "What time is it?" to "Gotta
light?" That way if she shows those fangs you can escape with your dignity
and your rear end intact.
> I fit your nice-desi boy category. Although I must admit that given the past
> coldness from desi women I keep a little distance, like a mile. It can be
> mistaken for being shy. But I'm not that.
I knew that just by the fact that you chose not to ignore me.
Kaberi Chakrabarty
In article <320F83...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <Shivra...@intelsat.int> wrote:
> > hey, white people cant dance, its been proven in clinical tests.
>
> What the heck is the macarena then. (stupid dance if ever there was
one... I'd
> rather be line dancing with the cow-girls)
That's what those linedancers came up with when introduced to Mexican music.
I don't think much of the dance myself, but the music is pretty good, and
the lyrics are suggestive ("Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena, que tu
cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosas buenas...") (No, I'm not translating
this. Go look it up.)
> > mothers are expert at blame taking. its their payback for all the
> > emotional blackmail they dump on their sons : )
> > e.g. - "If you marry a white girl I'll kill myself!!!"
>
> Sad, kaberi doesn't understand that.
Ha! Double ha! You think the boys are the only ones that go through
emotional blackmail? If I had a nickel for every time I heard about how
it's really a good thing that I haven't moved out yet, and how in India
girls don't move out until they get married (Oh, God, then I'm living here
forever!) and after all they paid for my education, blah blah blah, I
would have enough to move out.
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-130...@lv008-138.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> That's what those linedancers came up with when introduced to Mexican music.
> I don't think much of the dance myself, but the music is pretty good, and
> the lyrics are suggestive ("Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena, que tu
> cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosas buenas...") (No, I'm not translating
> this. Go look it up.)
I looked it up and the spanish girl i looked up slapped me when I repeated
the lines to her. i should have stuck to her eyes being like pools that i
want to dive into, but all i managed to say was i want to go diving with
you ... so i thought she was going to slap me again, but instead she
handed me an aqualung and a ticket to the Great Barrier Reef.
So dont women find those lyrics offensive? Or only when desi boys say it?
>
> > > mothers are expert at blame taking. its their payback for all the
> > > emotional blackmail they dump on their sons : )
> > > e.g. - "If you marry a white girl I'll kill myself!!!"
> >
> > Sad, kaberi doesn't understand that.
>
> Ha! Double ha! You think the boys are the only ones that go through
> emotional blackmail? If I had a nickel for every time I heard about how
> it's really a good thing that I haven't moved out yet, and how in India
> girls don't move out until they get married (Oh, God, then I'm living here
> forever!) and after all they paid for my education, blah blah blah, I
> would have enough to move out.
> --
thats not emotional blackmail, thats just desi parents showing love and
affection!!! : )
Daulat
Daulat Sen
In article <kaberi19-130...@lv008-140.starnetinc.com>,
kabe...@starnetinc.com (Kaberi Chakrabarty) wrote:
> In article <dsen-12089...@dsen.consult.csc.com>, ds...@csc.com
> (Daulat Sen) wrote:
> > you see Kaberi, you too get elevated to devi-hood. This newsgroup must be
> > doing wonders for your ego?
>
> I think you answered your own question here.
I did? I could have answered either way, and being an engineer (from the
university of life) i am not able to deal with ambiguity and uncertainty,
so I need the truth.
>Though I must admit, the
> first time someone (on the net) addressed me as Kaberidevi, people had to
> go running for the cold compress and the smelling salts.
see Shiv, not all desi-women go for the devi-hood thing
> I'm still not used to Kaberidi yet.
better get used to it honey, you aint a teenager no more : )
> And some little brat the other day had the nerve to call me Kaberipishi!
> He won't be making that mistake again, at least not until he grows his
> teeth back.
now that was a little foolish on his part, I hope when he grows his teeth
back, you'll promptly knock them out again? You see Shiv, the propensity
for desi girls to inflict violence on desi boys who are trying to be nice?
[Malditos Vicindad]
>
> Thanks so much, but I'm not such a big fan of MV. I rather prefer Mana
> ("Quiero clavarme en la alberca de tus ojos") (Translation for the
> linguistically challenged:"I want to dive into the pool of your eyes")
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
now thats what i call offensive!! : ) What gives you the right to call
someone on an indian newsgroup lingusitically challenged because they dont
speak spanish, a language which has little relevance to them unless they
are living in a community where it is the language of most frequent use?
And lets be honest, there are very few folks reading this who fit that
bill. Besides ... main aapki aankhon ki gehrai mein doob jaana chahta
hoon sounds much more romantic than ... tus ojos!!!! : )
>
> > ah yes, the self denigration plea of sympathy. It wont work I am afraid.
> > People here will just assume you are showing off
>
> Damn! That used to happen in school too. What gave me away?
your constant showing off? You have to know that Indians are not very
tolerant of each other's success : )
>
> > > OK, one vote for "serious is acceptable". I'm saving my vote for the
> > > end. Any other ballots coming in before we close the polls?
> > > --
> > no
>
> No, serious is not acceptable, or no, there are no more votes coming in?
> --
both
Daulat Sen
> Daulat Sen wrote:
> >
> > In article <320BB4...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <Shivra...@intelsat.int>
[Daulat said Shiv avoided being married despite being a nice desiboy]
>
> But I was sweet, shy and gullible .... only when marriage came did I go
> bonkers...
>
sweet, shy, gullible and desi boy??!?!?!??!!?!!! They must have staked
you out on the desert floor and cut strips of flesh from you till you
couldnt scream any more. Now if there's any women more vicious than the
Commanche women (who used to do things like that) it must be the desi
women. You were dead meat and you deserved it cos someone had to be
taught a lesson. May as well have been you : )
> > so does freddie balsara have any wise cracks? how do i know that you are
> > not freddie krueger?
>
> If I was you brain would have been mangled, with blood ozzing from your eyes.
> You'd have really wished that you were born a chihuahua.
>
umm ... i didn't realise I'd sent you a picture of myself.
> > so for example, in the past you would open doors, now you would slam them
> > in people's faces?
>
> Yeah, esp. women.
>
now see this is where you are getting it all wrong. Part of being modern
man is giving women their full respect as equals and often superiors, but
at the same time remembering to open doors for them because thats
chivalrous and they expect it. Saying "aren't you capable of doing that
yourself?", does not wash with them. So you see, you have no hope of
pleasing all women all of the time, or any women any of the time. Stick
to sheep, they need you to open gates for them, they are dependant on you
to get them from one field to the other.
[ice maidens are really nymphos underneath]
>
> Say! you don't mean it. That explains why the subway girl although icy cold
> breathed warmly down my neck. I was thinking she had shortness of
breath, but
> I was thinking she just needed to sink her fangs in my neck..like dracula.
>
you were thinking that and she was thinking that but however, her need to
ignore you was far greater than her need to do that, so in order to save
you some real physical pain, she did the decent thing and dissed you. You
should be grateful.
[sonali becomes someone to fight over]
>
> Back off sonali, daulat.... I will pray to be born as a pitbull with an
ornery
> disposition. My uncle was never ashamed of anything. That's why he was
born a
> chihuahua.
ok ok you can have her. She is a babe but ultimately she does not do it
for me big time. There are other Maharashtrian babes who bring my macchli
kari to a boil too. Btw - these days Sonali-ji is looking very ordinary
yaar, what with my cousin Sush and also Ash hitting the B-wood scene.
>
> > all topsy turvey? Maybe all these years we have all been brainwashed into
> > believing what cannot be believed? maybe desi girls are interested in
> > desi boys after all? Nah, its a figment of my imagination ...
>
> You mean des-boys and nice desi-boys being mutually exclusive. Don't
hold such
> thoughts or hell wil freeze over.
this red dude with horns and a trident just snowboarded past, he was way cool!
> > an important question. Mind you, in fantasies, desi girls always say
> > "yes", so that should be ok. In real life they only say yes if and only
> > if you have suffered enough. and even then its not a safe bet.
>
> Desi girls always say yes. After decades of
> repression/suprression/regression/transgression they do not know how to say
> no. When they learned, they were beaten to submission. Else they would be
> burned.
thats true
>So ask sonali. Obviously she should prefer me since my uncle is a
> chihuahua. That's why this desperate plea to be born as something else.
> Wishful thinking says pitbull.
I will ask Sonali's mummy-ji if she would allow her daughter to appear in
this theatre bizzare of yours.
>
> > > [My thesis]
> > > It does'nt pay to be a nice desi-boy any more.
> >
> > correction, never did.
>
> Well, learned it too late. Could have spent my time learning to hang-glide.
>
Exactly!! Just think, if we didnt waste our time in fruitless hopeless
endless quests to be nice desi boys and appeal to desi women, we could
have been somebody by now! We could be the Pepsi Max dudes skydiving and
snow boarding and bungee jumping and scoring all the hot beach babes,
instead of the sad pathetic dregs of humanity that we are.
> > and you are far from lonely, what with the droves of bad boy taming girls
> > chasing you in order to bring you back to the righteous path ...
>
> I was told to pick a number and wait...it was goolgolplex something. By the
> time my number is calle dI should become the evil epitome.
>
you mean you are Richard Lester?
> > play me some blues shivvie ...
>
> I wish they were country songs. That way I would get everything back when
> played in the reverse.
>
here's a cajun song for ya ...
le gator a mange mon chien
je suis sad et bleu
ma babee left me ce matin
je dont know what je will do - woo hoo hoo
ma desi babe dissed me cette apres midi
mais, she didnt know she was ma very own
she kicked me in the adriondacks
and now je suis all alone ...
see what happens when you play that backwards ...
> > no she didnt ... girls dont drink beer, least of all desi girls.
>
> Oh! No, I know some sari wearing, nacho and cheese munching, beer
swigging,...
> oh! those were crocs.
>
no, they were desi girls disguised as crocs. cos way down inside (woman
you need Dah dahhhh) desi girls really dig desi boys (honest) and once
they've proven to themselves that they can kick butts as well as white
chix, they always come back. As they say, once you've had desi, you
always get crazy.
> > >After being dissed out by
> > > desi-women, desi-boy drives up to the bar in mustang (the 6-cylinder car).
> > > Sees american (white) girl,
> >
> > her name was Debbie, wasnt it?
>
> Don't tell me you were there.
>
Debbie does Dallas? nope, it was actually Debbie does Delhi. I myself
never actually participated in any thing Debbie asked me to do, or
imagined asking me to do, since I am a good desi boy (I requalified
recently) and would not dream of such things.
> > any girl who can levitate must be worth dating! just think of the party
> > tricks!!!????!
>
> Maybe that's why I have this fetish for women's gymnasts. That svetlana
> boginskaya.... is she VROOOOOOOM VROOOOOM or what. Or that henrietta
> onodi...... VAVOOOM VAVOOOOOM...... AOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!. Here the wolves
> howling.
Hey, I've been tracking Svetlana Babeinskaya since before Barcelona, she's
mine!!! Mind you, all time hall of fame gymnast babes award goes to Nelli
Kim. Now there was a babe.
>
> > >Desi-boy nearly has heart attack. But steadies himself
> > > against pole that sprang from nowhere.
> >
> > aw c'mon, must have been from somewhere!
>
> Ok! it was attached to his body.
phew!! for a moment there i thought you were going to suggest that desi
boys were deficient in this department too!
[desi boy swaggers like Jeetendra with white and silver clothes]
> > you forgot to mention, whilst chewing paan ... makes a big difference.
>
> Beedi smoking too (beedi had one red stripe).
>
so does Debbie go for the dancing around trees thing?
[rugby]
> > with lots of big sweaty men clasping you firmly between your legs.)
>
> I would like that too, but not by men. By big blond sweaty germans girl called
> olga or helga (definitely not heidi).
I once had the priviledge of being attacked by my university's ladies
rugby team and having my trousers ripped off. I cant say I much enjoyed
the experience, but it was a defining moment in my psycho traumatical
experiences. As for big blonde german girls ... let them do their wurst.
> > hey, white people cant dance, its been proven in clinical tests.
>
> What the heck is the macarena then. (stupid dance if ever there was
one... I'd
> rather be line dancing with the cow-girls)
my father used to say, try everything once son, except for bestiality,
buggery and line dancing.
I tried line dancing last month, it was quite interesting. Mind you I was
wearing desi boy clothes (hence my original thread start up!) and they
were wearing cow girl clothes and we were in a barn and the cows were
looking in and we were line dancing away to the light of a silvery moon.
It was an interesting evening. However, I only had eyes for the svelte
lady in the Kanchipuram silk - with whom I stole a polka or two, cos I am
a nice desi boy afterall. So yes I agree, under certain circumstances I
would be line dancing too, but under others, I would prefer to get into
some serious merengue action. Incidentally, desi girls love to merengue,
gives them ample opportunity to wiggle their ample hips - cos that is a
core competance of the desi girl and one of the many reasons why we let
them beat us up all the time : )
>
> > > Desi-dakter-bhai most wanted victim. Poor kumputer programmer
> > > always poor kumputer programmer (only gets sheep and bad eyesight).
> >
> > no, just the bad eyesight, even the sheep prefer doctors these days.
>
> More proof that teh world is darkening.
the end is not far away now, its ok, i've got some ammo left. I'll be
holed up by the west wall, ready to fight to the last bullet, and then its
heaven bound for me - where all good martyrs go, a land of milk and honey
where the women never grow old. My Pakistani friend says it says so in
the Koran. However, I'll be happy to meet Madhuri-devi there and grow old
with her. I think martyrdom is pretty cool, but the major downside is
once you're gone, you cant see them celebrating your coolness. Bummer.
>
> > > Desi-girl say desi-boys are white skin lovers.
> >
> > better than saying "slut lovers" I suppose
>
> You better have double kevlars on.
they're on. and its not what i think, its what desi girls have told me.
hence the quotes.
> > and they will jump into the funeral pyre and death and destruction will
> > ensue. ( I told you I was having a bad day). The darkness overtakes me, I
> > cannot hold on any longer ... bring on the night!!!
>
> And more darkness? Forget it daulat, Your life has always been dark and
empty,
> with sheep and dreams of madhuri. Welcome brother to the hotel
california...
> you can check out anytime you want but you can never leave.
thats fine, I'm one of the pretty pretty boys, that desi girls call
friends, and we dance in the courtyard in the sweet summer sweat, they
dance to remember, I dance to forget.
Wouldnt it be worse if I had Madhuri and dreamt of sheep?
what the hell are "colitas" btw? and why do they have a warm smell? If
I follow my spanish logic (Kaberi?) then col-ita must be short for Cola.
but colas dont have warm smells ... what is going on?
>
> As for desi boy...he plots revenge... and is nabled by anti-stalker law. He
> embarrases all desis because... some lady who purports to be an expert on all
> issues... proclaims that is is an epidemic among desis. That all desi
> boys are obsessed stalkers because deepak nautiyal called once and shiv wrote
> twice.
hands up all desi boys who have ever caught themselves stalking? I know I
have. Hands up all desi boys who have been stalked?!?!??!?! I know I
have been!!! : )
>
> And desi-behan is rejected by mom and pop...with a million I told you sos...
> then they agree arranged marriage would have worked. She'd be beaten close to
> death but atleast she'd be married. She would atleast die a sumangali.
Or be
> thrown into the fire when her husband dies.
if she's smart, she'll throw the in-laws in first, but there's usually
more of them than there are of her so ...
>Bad lawyer snags nothing.
good!!
> Desi-behan lives on welfare but thankfully in her rejection of desis ..she
> rejected her desi-land and became amerikki citizen.
but under her bed there is a suitcase of desi clothes that every now and
again she gets out and sighs wistfully at
>Now Bill clinton signs her
> welfare check... (buchanan mutters ... goddamn brownie with two nougats).
goddamn
>
> Kaberi, I was letting my evil thoughts go amuck. I think bobby's friend is
> driving.
>
amuck? no my dear chap, you mean amok. The word is Malay in origin.
something to do with other brown boys going mental in the heat and
rampaging with their parangs flailing in all directions. And yes, Bobby's
friend was driving, just remember to keep his eyes on the road and his
hands upon the whe-eal.
> > mothers are expert at blame taking. its their payback for all the
> > emotional blackmail they dump on their sons : )
> > e.g. - "If you marry a white girl I'll kill myself!!!"
>
> Sad, kaberi doesn't understand that. That's not what my mother said,
'she said
> no kids before marriage.'
and since desi girls dont screw (desi boys anyway) there was no danger of
that happening unless you went with white girls, hence what your mother
really meant was ...
>Now I have lifetime supply of RU486.
is that like "RU/18?" ?
>But as nice
> -desi boy I had lifetime supply of rameses. Looked like an egyptian mummy in
> the dark. NIce desi boys don't have sex. [Hmmm! No more comments]
you are right, nice desi boys and bad desi boys alike do not have sex.
one voluntarily, the other in voluntarily. either way, it comes down to
the same thing. btw : a six pack is not a life time supply, despite what
they tell you.
> > no, its "let me tease you and watch you squirm". In fact I was in a
> > conversation recently with a desi girl who was saying "its terrible what
> > we do to men sometimes, the things we make them do with just a smile ...
> > " at this point i was on the floor cleaning her shoes so i couldnt
> > actually tell if she was smiling or not. I think i will go in for hormone
>
> If you had polished her shoes properly you could've see her reflection.
But I
> think you are on your hands and knees at her feet for other reasons.
bit difficult to work up a shine on open toed sling backs but i had a damn
good go anyway.
Other reasons? no, no my friend, desi boys dont have sex, you and I both
know that.
Desi girls make desi boys squirm, but thats nothing directly sexual,
though some desi girls tell me that they get a rush from doing it, so
maybe it is the safe sex thing. So perhaps western society has something
to learn from us after all?
> > you and your queens, when are you going to meet some real women?
>
> Do real women exist?
I am taking the 5th on this
> I have seen 4-5 women on the ngs. One sheep, one daulat
and one of them is in drag
> and lately one sanju (he). Isn't it teh duty of every-nice-desi boy to
elevate
> women to the status of queens and devis. I mean we have a temple for kushboo.
you do that and half of em will be smiling saying "yup, we shot we scored"
and the other half will be saying "f*ing loser desi boy a-hole why cant
you treat me like a woman?" - so your options are limited.
> >
> > any thing leaving toilet seats up incurs the wrath of the woman scorned
> > and must be destroyed.
>
> The toilet seat?
destroy the toilet seat and women will make your destruction more slow and
traumatic than normal
[visualising madhuri]
> You need no cold shower. You need to be thrown into prison where you
will meet
> 1) desi-boy snagged as stalker and can never walk again (he met Leroy)
> 2) a 350 pound balding load of guts known as bubba (real name leroy)
.... with
> one gold teeth and loves desi boys and welcomes them pouting 'ooooh! my poor
> baby, come to mama.'
there are easier ways of persuading me to end my obsession with
Madhuri-devi. Just a subscription to Stardust would do.
>
> > Daulat devi worshipper Sen
>
> Not anymore (after meeting leroy).
> --
maybe I am leroy? Have you thought of that?
Daulat
Shiv
Daulat Sen wrote:
> In article <320F83...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <Shivra...@intelsat.int> wrote:
> > Daulat Sen wrote:
> > > In article <320BB4...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <Shivra...@intelsat.int>
> [Daulat said Shiv avoided being married despite being a nice desiboy]
> >
> > But I was sweet, shy and gullible .... only when marriage came did I go
> > bonkers...
> sweet, shy, gullible and desi boy??!?!?!??!!?!!! They must have staked
> you out on the desert floor and cut strips of flesh from you till you
I had two choices be single/happy before marrying and entering a life of subjugation
and becoming a sex slave. Or be a single happy sex slave. I chose the latter.
> > > so for example, in the past you would open doors, now you would slam them
> > > in people's faces?
> >
> > Yeah, esp. women.
> >
> now see this is where you are getting it all wrong. Part of being modern
> man is giving women their full respect as equals and often superiors, but
> at the same time remembering to open doors for them because thats
> chivalrous and they expect it. Saying "aren't you capable of doing that
When I was a nice-desi boy (It seems so far away).. anyway I grew up studying with
girls smarter than me theoretically and on paper only. I was ranked sixth until my
eight std, with the first 4 ranks going to girls. So, I had this inherent respect
for women. I treat them as equals. Then I got bored and began to study the girls I
studied with. It was an interesting experience. I always opened doors... for them.
Even now if a girl snarls at me when I open the door for them (this feminist stuff
has gone to her head and she has an attitude)... so I gently remind her that 'I am
not sorry that I am a gentleman'. She reminds me not so gently, actually with a
left hook, you should be. So went back to teh drawing board and figured out that
being chivalrous is chauvinistic. After all today women seem more bionic what
with all that health food and pumping iron. So there come the door slamming.
> [ice maidens are really nymphos underneath]
> >
> you were thinking that and she was thinking that but however, her need to
> ignore you was far greater than her need to do that, so in order to save
> you some real physical pain, she did the decent thing and dissed you. You
> should be grateful.
She hasn't dissed me yet, that's why the aprehension is stiffling. Very often I get
this uncanny feeling of soft-footsteps (heavy footsteps would indicate olga or
helga) behind me. My hackles are raised in anticipation of a sudden rush
ending in a paralysing hold. The fact that I'm alive indicates that I may still
have a guardian angel. Now, I avoid full moon nights.
> [sonali is settled to be with shiv]
> > > believing what cannot be believed? maybe desi girls are interested in
> > > desi boys after all? Nah, its a figment of my imagination ...
> >
> > You mean des-boys and nice desi-boys being mutually exclusive. Don't
> hold such thoughts or hell wil freeze over.
> this red dude with horns and a trident just snowboarded past, he was way cool!
Cool dudes have horns and a trident. No wonder they rule hell with all those
voluptous babes. Must have been bobby's friend. I'm beginning to worry about bobby.
He seems to have vanished. Maybe a certain Ms M has her fangs in him. That may
explain why bobby's friend fled.
> > > > [My thesis]
> > > > It does'nt pay to be a nice desi-boy any more.
> > >
> > > correction, never did.
> >
> > Well, learned it too late. Could have spent my time learning to hang-glide.
>
> Exactly!! Just think, if we didnt waste our time in fruitless hopeless
> endless quests to be nice desi boys and appeal to desi women, we could
Actually, I maybe adding an addendum to my thesis. Nice-desi boys never finish. No
innuendos intended, but even if there were, it may expalin why nice-single-desi boys
are extinct. All other nice-desi boys are married. Avtually they have the full time
job of being sex slaves. So, even if they don't finish, mata hari will finish em.
[cajun song]
> le gator a mange mon chien.........
> see what happens when you play that backwards ...
I still end up with a gator. You switched songs.
> no, they were desi girls disguised as crocs. cos way down inside (woman
> you need Dah dahhhh) desi girls really dig desi boys (honest) and once
You are having a nightmare. Hallucinating.
> they've proven to themselves that they can kick butts as well as white
I have no doubt that they could.
> chix, they always come back. As they say, once you've had desi, you
> always get crazy.
That may explain why I feel like the tasmanian devil who is fahrfrumpoopin
(verskopft).
[levitating desi chix... and slavic gymnasts]
> Hey, I've been tracking Svetlana Babeinskaya since before Barcelona, she's
> mine!!! Mind you, all time hall of fame gymnast babes award goes to Nelli
> Kim. Now there was a babe.
Mo huilan (she's 18 and hence legal).... she's cute.. but I'd feel like a pedophile.
Side note: Marriageable age has been raised to 21 in india. So we are still lucky.
That way more young chix are available. There'll be more single 18-21 year olds
available.
> phew!! for a moment there i thought you were going to suggest that desi
> boys were deficient in this department too!
Desi boy always need strong help, to steady themselves mostly from wallowing in the
pit of self-pity. Other occasions ... from the rush of seeing white women in
leotards. This is only for nice-desi boys.
> > What the heck is the macarena then. (stupid dance if ever there was
> > one... I'd rather be line dancing with the cow-girls)
>
> my father used to say, try everything once son, except for bestiality,
> buggery and line dancing.
My father used to say try everything I haven't. So only bestiality and buggery
remains. It depends on my dad now. Now he says, once is not enough.
> were wearing cow girl clothes and we were in a barn and the cows were
Wo! from sheep to cows. Your confidence must have skyrocketed. You must have really
shown that horse.
> some serious merengue action. Incidentally, desi girls love to merengue,
> gives them ample opportunity to wiggle their ample hips - cos that is a
> core competance of the desi girl and one of the many reasons why we let
> them beat us up all the time : )
Desi-girls have ample hips from carrying their nice-desi husbands.
> with her. I think martyrdom is pretty cool, but the major downside is
> once you're gone, you cant see them celebrating your coolness. Bummer.
They never let you enjoy anything as long as you are alive. After that you're simple
dead and nothing matters anymore. The rest is in hell. A new life a new beginning.
> > And more darkness? Forget it daulat, Your life has always been dark and
> > empty, with sheep and dreams of madhuri. Welcome brother to the hotel
> > california...you can check out anytime you want but you can never leave.
> thats fine, I'm one of the pretty pretty boys, that desi girls call
> friends, and we dance in the courtyard in the sweet summer sweat, they
> dance to remember, I dance to forget.
But you forget
You stab it with your steely knives, but you just can't kill the beast.
> Wouldnt it be worse if I had Madhuri and dreamt of sheep?
YES! Would you have time to dream?
> what the hell are "colitas" btw? and why do they have a warm smell? If
> I follow my spanish logic (Kaberi?) then col-ita must be short for Cola.
> but colas dont have warm smells ... what is going on?
col-ita is a little coke.
> hands up all desi boys who have ever caught themselves stalking? I know I
> have. Hands up all desi boys who have been stalked?!?!??!?! I know I
> have been!!! : )
I stand with both hands raised. A pit-bull also raises it's hands.
> > > mothers are expert at blame taking. its their payback for all the
> > Sad, kaberi doesn't understand that. That's not what my mother said,
> 'she said no kids before marriage.'
>
> and since desi girls dont screw (desi boys anyway) there was no danger of
You mean NICE-DESIS.
> that happening unless you went with white girls, hence what your mother
> really meant was ...
I gotcha! No wonder I was thick.
> >Now I have lifetime supply of RU486.
> is that like "RU/18?" ?
Both are necessary.
> you are right, nice desi boys and bad desi boys alike do not have sex.
Only nice-desi boys. Who dogs are friends of nice desi boys. Dogs best friend of
jerk only. Hands best friends of nice-desi boys. Hands are also jealous of each
other. And nice-desi women are jealous of nice-desi boys hands.
> > Do real women exist?
>
> I am taking the 5th on this
That still make syou culpable. The reasoning is that you have something to hide.
> > I have seen 4-5 women on the ngs. One sheep, one daulat
>
> and one of them is in drag
The sheep. In Sarees.
> [visualising madhuri]
>
> > You need no cold shower. You need to be thrown into prison where you
> will meet
> > > Daulat devi worshipper Sen
> > Not anymore (after meeting leroy).
> maybe I am leroy? Have you thought of that?
You have leroy's permission to say that?
Shiv
Kaberi Chakrabarty wrote:
>
> In article <320F50...@intelsat.int>, Shiv <Shivra...@intelsat.int>
> wrote:
>
> > you're the cool desi-girl.
>
> Obviously someone who knows nothing about me. Lemme at 'em!
I think it's daulat. And if it is, Big Leroy will take care of daulat.
> > The hope beyond hope. Even jerks can be wrong. There you have it.... I
> >was wrong. I admit it.
>
> Ah, ah, ah. Your nice-boy side is showing. Jerks can often be wrong, but
> they will never admit it.
If you had said that you like a guy who's wrong, I'd have admitted that I'm wrong
a lot. [from some commercial]
> Nice-desi boys and shyness go hand in hand. But jerks... they
> > always view themselves as predators. And desi-women as prey.
>
> Nnnnnno, not quite. Jerks of all ethnicities only prey upon women that
> are considered to be attractive (at least they only prey upon those women
> sexually).
Does that leave nice-desi boys and unattractive women of all ethnicities.
> > coming here'. Then they snarl, fangs and all, and I shiver away. They look
> > at me with an attitude... just because we have the same ethnicity it doesn't
> > mean that you have to approach me.
>
> I was about to say that these women are jerks and are not worth the time
> of day anyway, until I suddenly remembered having those thoughts myself.
> Hmmmmm.
Do you have fangs?
> I think these things vary a lot depending on the situation. Maybe the
> women has a white boyfriend somewhere nearby, or a white guy she really
Mayeb somebody called big leroy just out on parole.
> I would say that, at the very least, you should have a good excuse to
> approach in such a situation, anything from "What time is it?" to "Gotta
> light?" That way if she shows those fangs you can escape with your dignity
> and your rear end intact.
Gotta light? Desi-women and gotta light? You must be kidding. OH no! never leave
the scene with your back towards the girl. Face her and back of slowly,.. is the
right approach for me. Atleast then I can take evasive action.. like falling on
my knees and praying. I am going to try what you said. There's a desi-girl I
know. She fits the coconut model well although she skews my data in my thesis by
returning my smiles and my hellos. But I'm waiting for her to drop into my lap
with a big dowry. SHe's doesn't wear any bindi... so it's difficult for me to
lock my telescopic sights on her. As for asking for a light I'll do that when I
ask for more dowry and intend to burn her. Kaberi, don't take this seriously, I
was kidding even though those aren't humorous. The results of my tryst with
destiny will be known shortly. If I'm a nice desi boy I should be shy. Then I
won't have the cojones to speak with her. So should I be a jerk when I approach
and then when I'm in her arms er! at arms length, switch on the nice desi-boy
button.
Right now the lines by pink floyd is wafting in my ears... an omen no doubt about
the uncertainty...
"Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother do you think they'll like this song?
Mother do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Mother should I build the wall?
Mother should I run for president?
Mother should I trust the government?
Mother will they put me in the firing line?"
> > I fit your nice-desi boy category. Although I must admit that given the past
> > coldness from desi women I keep a little distance, like a mile. It can be
> > mistaken for being shy. But I'm not that.
>
> I knew that just by the fact that you chose not to ignore me.
> --Right now I don't know how many miles are there between us.. so there. And it is
my duty as a desi to be dissed by every desi women. So, I would not ignore you.
As for being shy... I'm not. I'm the strong silent type. :-)
--
***********************************************************
The flogging will continue until morale improves.....
***********************************************************