Top 5 "How were these movies PG?" movies of the 80s

[Ubiquitous]

By Ryan Zimmerman

Ryan here. Back with my weekly top 5. This week’s top 5 is “Top 5 ‘How
were these movies PG?’ movies of the 80s.”

I watched a TON of movies as a kid. I learned quite a few 4 letter
words from them as well. As I watch them nowadays, I am quite surprised
by the rating given to them back in the day. For some, I think the MPAA
might have been on C-R-A-C-K. Here are some of them and why they may
have been a bit lenient. . . .
5. Airplane

“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?” “You ever seen a grown man
naked?” So many classic one-liners, but probably not ones you want your
kid repeating. Passengers brought as much mayhem as the pilots. There
were those killing themselves after being bored to death, literally, by
Striker’s stories. A topless lady panicking as the plane starts to
plummet. Elaine “blowing” (no pun intended) up the inflatable pilot.
Airplane was the original movie spoof and was really a great movie . .
. but PG? Surely, you must be joking! The MPAA wasn’t – and stop
calling me Shirley.

4. Gremlins

Remember the rules: Never get them wet. Never expose them to sunlight.
Never let your child watch this before bedtime. What was billed as a
cute scary movie for kids, Gremlins was cute . . . only until Gizmo
spouted out green balls of gooey grossness. Then those little slime
balls evolved into sharp teethed little demons that made me afraid of
any of my stuffed animals. How do you get rid of them? Try putting them
in the microwave or the blender. Maybe take a sword to one of them to
cut off his head. Of course, you expose the leader of the clan to
light, and you can enjoy watching him melt graphically into a steaming
pile of bubbly nastiness. Oops, I forgot the most important rule: Never
feed them after midnight. That is what really turns them into scary,
oversized monsters.

3. Raiders of the Lost Ark

Indiana Jones rocks. He really does. The hat, the whip, the girls — he
had it all. Thinking back on the film, though, Raiders had quite a few
scenes that probably weren’t the best for 6 year olds. Let’s see, a
guy’s face melts off, another guy’s head explodes, spirits are sucked
out of a bunch of people, and a guy’s head has a spear going through
it. Throw in some Nazis and you can call it a day. Tom Selleck was
originally cast to play “Indy” – thus almost changing the name of the
film to “Razors of the Lost Ark”, in which the Nazis would chase down
Selleck to rid him of his menacing mustache.

2. Big

Why Big you may ask? Well, this movie didn’t originally enter my mind
until I saw it the other day, as it had been a while. The movie is a
great film and a great family movie . . . but something about that
scene where Billy is yelling at Josh and says “Who the F**K do you
think you are?!” blew me away. I like a good F-bomb as much as the next
guy, but in Big? Really? It is probably good though, that the movie
wasn’t made 20 years later because Josh today would probably respond
with “Who am I? I am Tom Freaking Hanks. I’ve won Academy Awards and am
one of the most successful actors in history you red headed bee-otch!”
. . . or something like that.

1. Poltergeist

When, as a child, you go to see a PG movie, it really should be a good
experience. It should be nice and memorable. It typically should not
scare the Holy Hell out of you. Well, Poltergeist haunted me and
haunted me hard. I was 6 when it came to video and we watched it at my
house, and wow, that never should have happened. A boy almost gets
eaten by a terrorizing tree? Or that same boy nearly gets choked out by
a clown doll? Or maybe when the guy starts peeling his skin off when
looking in the mirror? And, if all that weren’t enough, the parents
spark up a doob on screen. For me,” PG” didn’t mean “Parental
Guidance.” It meant “Peed Garanimals.” Hey, my Underoos were in the
wash!

--
The liberal media's agenda is to make Trump as hated and distrusted as
they are.

[TT]

Don't agree with four first films, you are underestimating tolerance of
children. Poltergeist however I think is scary as hell, and PG-13 is
probably correct.

Big, Airplane? Shirley you jest?

[TT]

18.2.2017, 23:08, TT kirjoitti:

> Big, Airplane? Shirley you jest?

They're almost as damaging as Smurfs. Long long ago, deep in the forest...

[Your Name]

In article <vJ2qA.2038$He1....@uutiset.elisa.fi>, TT <as...@dprk.kp>
wrote:

> 18.2.2017, 18:24, Ubiquitous kirjoitti:
> > By Ryan Zimmerman
> >
> > Ryan here. Back with my weekly top 5. This week’s top 5 is “Top 5 ‘How
> > were these movies PG?’ movies of the 80s.”
> >
> > I watched a TON of movies as a kid. I learned quite a few 4 letter
> > words from them as well. As I watch them nowadays, I am quite surprised
> > by the rating given to them back in the day. For some, I think the MPAA
> > might have been on C-R-A-C-K. Here are some of them and why they may
> > have been a bit lenient. . . .
> >
> > 5. Airplane

<snip>
> > 4. Gremlins
<snip>

> > 3. Raiders of the Lost Ark

<snip>
> > 2. Big
<snip>
> > 1. Poltergeist
<snip>

> Don't agree with four first films, you are underestimating tolerance of
> children. Poltergeist however I think is scary as hell, and PG-13 is
> probably correct.

Gremlins had them being exploded in a microwave and electrified, as
well as humans being squashed. (I don't think I ever saw Gremlins 2.)

Raiders of the Lost Ark had the Nazis melting their skin down to
skeletons.

Another one to added to the list is possibly Goonies (skeletons,
'monsters', nasty people) and Star Wars (burnt bodies of Owen and beru
Lars, Luke losing a hand, torture of Han Solo, pilots exploded),
although I don't know what ratings they had.

> Big, Airplane? Shirley you jest?

Airplane of course wasn't scary, but was a bit "rude" (for those who
knew, which ruled out most kids) ... it certainly was a load of unfunny
crap though.

[Eighties-Seeker]

On Sat, 18 Feb 2017 23:08:47 +0200, TT wrote:
>
> 18.2.2017, 18:24, Ubiquitous kirjoitti:
>> By Ryan Zimmerman
>>
>> Ryan here. Back with my weekly top 5. This week’s top 5 is “Top 5 ‘How
>> were these movies PG?’ movies of the 80s.”
>>
>> I watched a TON of movies as a kid. I learned quite a few 4 letter
>> words from them as well. As I watch them nowadays, I am quite surprised
>> by the rating given to them back in the day. For some, I think the MPAA
>> might have been on C-R-A-C-K. Here are some of them and why they may
>> have been a bit lenient. . . .
>> 5. Airplane
>>
>> “Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?” “You ever seen a grown man
>> naked?” So many classic one-liners, but probably not ones you want your
>> kid repeating. Passengers brought as much mayhem as the pilots. There
>> were those killing themselves after being bored to death, literally, by
>> Striker’s stories. A topless lady panicking as the plane starts to
>> plummet. Elaine “blowing” (no pun intended) up the inflatable pilot.
>> Airplane was the original movie spoof and was really a great movie . .
>> . but PG? Surely, you must be joking! The MPAA wasn’t – and stop
>> calling me Shirley.

[...]

> Don't agree with four first films, you are underestimating tolerance
> of children. Poltergeist however I think is scary as hell, and PG-13
> is probably correct.
>
> Big, Airplane? Shirley you jest?

That reference to pedo gay sex might be not suitable for certain
audiences, especially children.
--
Andreas
You know you are a redneck if
you have a picture of johnny cash, willie nelson, or elvis over your fireplace.

[Bill Steele]

On 2/18/17 11:24 AM, Ubiquitous wrote:
> For me,” PG” didn’t mean “Parental
> Guidance.” It meant “Peed Garanimals.” Hey, my Underoos were in the
> wash!
>
> --

I can recall a lot of traumatic things in movies when I was a kid-- long
before there were ratings.

The Wizard of Oz. I hid under the seat when the flying monkeys showed up.

Son of Frankenstein. The monster carrying a little boy about my age
through dark tunnels.

The Uninvited. Ghosts with long wispy arms flailing out at us. Almost
felt like 3D.

The Five Little Peppers. A little girl gets caught in quicksand.

A Disney cartoon where Pluto almost drowns.

Then there was one I can't identify where a girl is "going to have a
baby" and has to find a husband. (I think it was during WWII and her
boyfriend had gone off to war.) For years I went around with the idea
that at some point in life women would just spontaneously become pregnant.

[TT]

You don't like 2001 or Airplane... then what do you like, Dark Knight
and Fight Club?

[TT]

I'd imagine that children who would be disturbed by it wouldn't
understand the joke anyway.

[Neill Massello]

TT <as...@dprk.kp> wrote:

> You don't like 2001 or Airplane... then what do you like, Dark Knight
> and Fight Club?

What about somebody who likes all four of those?

<duck>

[TT]

Well, that's better. :)

[Your Name]

In article <Gv_rA.2499$He1....@uutiset.elisa.fi>, TT <as...@dprk.kp>
wrote:

Two more movies that are piles of sticking poo.

The only real Batman is Adam West. :-p