Special appearance by
Phil Austin
||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:33 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for January 13, 2011 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| "7:25 PM? 7:25 PM!!" says Catherwood, "ah,clem should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as ah,clem enters and sits in front of the fireplace.
||||||||| New CNI streaming notice: '"a few minutes with FireSign Theatre" at about 9 eastern time, an hour hour? gimmie 2'
||||||||| ah,clem departs at 7:27 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
||||||||| Catherwood trudges in at 8:02 PM, dragging Woody 1 by the hair and asks "Can anyone vouch for this yo-yo?"
Woody 1: My yo-yo is alone and needs a YANK. None of that southern drawl.
||||||||| "8:45 PM? 8:45 PM!!" says Catherwood, "Ben Bland should be here by now...oh, THERE you are!" as Ben Bland enters and sits on the divan.
Ben Bland: Hi Woody 1
||||||||| cease sneaks in around 9:00 PM, trying to avoid Catherwood because of last week's "unpleasant incident."
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, January 13, 2011 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!"
cease: anyone here?
Ben Bland: Hi cease
Ben Bland: I'm multi-tasking. Badly.
cease: yes clem, i'm here.
Ben Bland: Mr Ah Clem
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and ah,clem disembarks at 9:05 PM.
ah,clem: hi all
cease: hi ben
Ben Bland: cease, ah, clem
cease: ah, hour hour land.
cease: i'm so happy to not be the only person familiar with this show anymore
ah,clem: the hum is in peter's micophone, not in the feed
cease: when Duke of Madness Motors are delivered, many people will have them
Woody 1: evening, folks.
cease: hi wood
cease: their platypus records ads were hilarious
Ben Bland: http://brucelash.bandcamp.com/track/can-you-feel-it-love-song This song will really blow your wig. All eight minutes and forty seconds of it. I saw the Orson Welles movie F is for Fake on the cable tv. Listening to this song, his movie came to mind.
cease: i'm glad taylor kept some of the original ads in the shows when he remixed them for sale
Ben Bland: See if you can figure out why
cease: yes ive seen the flick ben. made me want to visit Chartres even more
Woody 1: I turned my nephew onto Firesign. Never heard them. It was MARX/LENNON
cease: smoke some of this
Ben Bland: Listening to the song?
cease: sounds like a precurson to Roller Maidens
ah,clem: an excellent start, Woody
cease: this is one of the shows i taped in the summer of 70
ah,clem: after nick he will be ready for a dwarf
cease: the newly remixed version is much kinder to the ears
cease: one is always ready for a dwarf
||||||||| Catherwood escorts Dexter Fong (Ret) inside, makes a note of the time (9:13 PM), then fades off into the distance going on about the waiting room or the sitting room or something.
cease: mr democracy is a jap, one of his funnier riffs on this show
Dexter Fong (Ret): allo, allo, allo?
cease: while listening to this, sam waterson has just appeared on my tv selling td bank
ah,clem: hey Dex
cease: the synchronicity of this is, sam was at yale drama with bergman and proctor
Dexter Fong (Ret): Hi Clem
cease: i think they were in some plays together there
cease: hi dex
Dexter Fong (Ret): Cat, Ben, and woody...Good evening
cease: i'm riffing on clems hour hour now on cni
ah,clem: when did you get retarded, Dex?
||||||||| 9:15 PM: Bambi jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past year and a half!"
Bambi: Hello Dear Friends
cease: hi bambi
ah,clem: ah, my dear deer
Dexter Fong (Ret): Clem, Retarded...uhhh...ummmm. Uh, what was the question?
Dexter Fong (Ret): Hi Bambi
ah,clem: nevermind, Dex
Dexter Fong (Ret): Clem: Retired...Dec 3, 2010
Bambi :-)
ah,clem: I know that
cease: at least you're still alive, dex
Dexter Fong (Ret): Clem: That's good!! You must not be retarded
Dexter Fong (Ret): I could be a bot
cease: have you dug out of your bldg yet, dex?
Dexter Fong (Ret): A very clever bot
ah,clem: no
ah,clem: nino would know
Dexter Fong (Ret): Cat: Reports of the snow emergency are greatly overstated
Dexter Fong (Ret): Clem: But Nino's a bot and he could be covering for me
ah,clem: they come and go through tunnels in the snow
cease: we had the most snow ever 2 nights ago, almost all gone today
Bambi: Mudhead sure got some snow
Bambi: but it was overblown news here too
Dexter Fong (Ret): Cat:...tlaking of Michaelangelo
cease: he's been gone a long time, dex
Dexter Fong (Ret): sorry clem and cat...screwed that one up
ah,clem: Mud wanted to know if I was to do a show, and he is not here, odd
||||||||| Catherwood trudges in at 9:22 PM, dragging Mudhead by the hair and asks "Can anyone vouch for this Firehead?"
||||||||| Catherwood ushers Principalpoop into the room, accepts a wooden nickel as a gratuity, grumbles something about 9:22 PM, then departs.
ah,clem: there he is!
Dexter Fong (Ret): Hi Mudhead, we started without you =(
Dexter Fong (Ret): Hey poop
ah,clem: just as nino predicted
Bambi: hey Mudhead, Princep
Dexter Fong (Ret): It don't start till you get here
Mudhead: hi all
Principalpoop: hi all, no snow here
Principalpoop: there is mudhead, want a snortt?
Dexter Fong (Ret): Poop: We'll send you some
cease: hi poop, mud
Bambi: was mentioning that Mudhead got some snow!
ah,clem: Mud has enough snow for all of us
Principalpoop: retro dex, whip it, whip it good
Ben Bland: Dexter, Bambi, Mudhead, Principal Poop
Bambi: hey BB
Principalpoop: I thought your last name was Dover
Dexter Fong (Ret): Ben is keeping the attendance sheet tonight
cease: dover's last name is sole
Principalpoop: I'll bite, how much snow?
Dexter Fong (Ret): 1 and 1/2 cubits
Principalpoop: tap tap, is this chat working?
Principalpoop: thanks fong
Mudhead: 4' drift entombs my van
Principalpoop: lordy, that is a lot of snow
Principalpoop: call out the huskies, mush
Mudhead: its almost higher than me in my wheelchair
cease: bummer, mud
Principalpoop: i might attach skis to my brothers wheelchair
Dexter Fong (Ret): Mud: Yah gotta get like really big wheels like those trucks on high jackers
Principalpoop: need a bigger dog to pull us though
Mudhead: i was thinkin of that, you couldnt steer or stop
Principalpoop: don't need to, follow the snow ttracks
ah,clem: that's what the reindeer are for
Mudhead: as soon as the wheels get wet they lose traction
Dexter Fong (Ret): Why those tracks lead right in to my hallway
Mudhead: the chairs dont really work well outside
Principalpoop: you have too much air in the tires
Dexter Fong (Ret): Cat: I'm hearing like a complete version of Dylan's Comeon with out etc...is this one of you radio hour hours?
Principalpoop: i know, I hit a hole and almost threw him out of the chair like the 3 stooges,
cease: i dont think dylan willl allow them to include this on the Duke of Madness dvd
Principalpoop: luckily he had his seat belt on
cease: yes dex, this is from me. you can tell by the poor sound quality
Dexter Fong (Ret): Cat: Yeah, fer sure..but is this your copy of the Hour Hour?
Mudhead: i have solid drive wheels
Dexter Fong (Ret): Ah Thanks Cat
cease: i dont know how many of the ads will be in the box set, some of them were really funny
Principalpoop: you have a motor? my brother just has me, cool
Dexter Fong (Ret): I think that add a lot to the broadcasts
ah,clem: actually from another source, Car, but they are similar
ah,clem: Cat
Principalpoop: i am pulling your leg, most all are hard solid rubber
Dexter Fong (Ret): Clem: Wow =)
Mudhead: ive got a 98lb girl, i dont want her pushin me
Principalpoop: can can cab cap caw
cease: i'm pretty sure whoever else you got it from had my copy. i sent copies of my shows out to lots of people in the 90s
Principalpoop: ahh perfect lap size
Mudhead: shes very important to me
cease: the only other hour hour in circulation was packer's and i dont know how much it circulated. that was episode 3
ah,clem: let's not quibble, enjoy the show
Principalpoop: how much will you sell her for? I will pay top dollar
cease: its firesign. what's not to enjoy?
Dexter Fong (Ret): Ish Quibibble?
Principalpoop: can we bicker instead?
Dexter Fong (Ret): I think we should squabble
Principalpoop: that is where you are wrong fong, lets argue
ah,clem: you boys fight it out amongst yourselves
Dexter Fong (Ret): Pro or Con...I've been both....bring it sucker
Principalpoop: punch, claw, scream, I give up fong
cease: isnt that the name of the oil minister of Abu Dabu Du, S'qabul Quibble
Dexter Fong (Ret): You'll never give up while magazines are full
Principalpoop: dabuy
Dexter Fong (Ret): Cat: Mostly, it's S'Quabul Kibble
Dexter Fong (Ret): It translated to Running dog of para Dice
cease: speaking of dice, i finally watched casino yesterday, along with bugsy
cease: got them confused watching them together. all that violence
Principalpoop: isn't that bridge finished yet?
Dexter Fong (Ret): Bugsy stallone? He finally got a role
Bambi: Scrabble?
cease: only the one to yesterday. i dont think the bridge to tomorrow is going so well
Mudhead: this radio show is confusing
Dexter Fong (Ret): Poop: The bridge is finished...we ran out of land
Principalpoop: the future is here, can you tell?
Principalpoop: can't
Dexter Fong (Ret): can too
cease: if you dont find the firesign confusing, you're not paying attention, mud
Principalpoop: i don't have my headphones on, tell me what is happening
Bambi: especially since the earth's magnetic personally is waning and shifting...
Dexter Fong (Ret): Well said Cat =))
||||||||| It's 9:40 PM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Woody 1 - dead from measles
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Principalpoop: aureolla pooralice
Bambi: guess Woody didn't get his vaccine...
Principalpoop: measles, german or what?
Dexter Fong (Ret): There's the answer to the confusion...they were doing the TV Dub
Principalpoop: dub a dub dub
Dexter Fong (Ret): Some..actually all...of you are hearing the broadcast at a different interval
Principalpoop: lets do the time warp dance
Principalpoop: a step to the left?
cease: taylor told me he found the tvs show they were watching. it would be amazing if he could put them together with this on you tube or something
Dexter Fong (Ret): Poop, you Sweet Trans Sylvaanian
Mudhead: sorry guys i cant understand any of this
Principalpoop: yes tvs hehe
Dexter Fong (Ret): Mud: The FST is watching tv on the same channel the listeners are and with the sound down, providing the dialogue
Bambi: put your right foot in, take your right foot out...
cease: they are improvising dialogue to a show on tv at the time this was broadcast, in june 1970
Principalpoop: and shake it all about, yes mam
Dexter Fong (Ret): and while your at it, take all those pizza boxes with you
Mudhead: must be my ears, all i hear is a bunch of noises
Principalpoop: i am going to make something with them, someday
cease: later they made several flicks with their dialogue added to older flicks
Mudhead: s'ok i gave up
Dexter Fong (Ret): JMen Forever...loved it
Dexter Fong (Ret): !!
cease: hot shorts, the madhouse of dr. fear
Principalpoop: i have tininitus too, find the right bell to stand next to, and reset your clock
cease: maybve others
Mudhead: its an early night for me i had no nap today and imma go to bed
Mudhead: nn all
||||||||| Outside, the 9:46 PM uptown bus from Elmertown pulls away, leaving Elayne coughing in a cloud of diesel fumes.
Elayne: Evenin' all!
||||||||| Mudhead rushes off, saying "9:46 PM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
Bambi: hey E!
cease: hi el
Principalpoop: night mud, good luck with that snow
Dexter Fong (Ret): Night Mudhead
Bambi: nn Mudhead
Principalpoop: Hi E
cease: by mud
Dexter Fong (Ret): Hi there Elayne
cease: whose voice is this?
Principalpoop: this might be my first time here, happy 2011 everyone
cease: the valhalla man
cease: is this austin?
Dexter Fong (Ret): Odin rules, man!
Dexter Fong (Ret): Sounds like it
cease: only on odinsday
Bambi: Odin bring his Magic Hammer?
Principalpoop: that is thor, unless Loki stole it again
Ben Bland: Elayne
Bambi: ah, yes...
cease: hows the snow situation, el?
Dexter Fong (Ret): if *I* had a Magic Hammer, I'd hammer me some sumes 'OBitche
Elayne: Depressing, Cat.
Principalpoop: keep up with ancient scandinavian mythology bambi
Dexter Fong (Ret): Right you are Poop....It's changing daily
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in and intones "Presenting 'Bunnyboy', just granted probation at 9:50 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Bunnyboy: Dooooook!
Principalpoop: would you hammer in the evening, all over this land?
Dexter Fong (Ret): Of EEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrlllllllllll
Principalpoop: hi bunnyboy
Bambi: aye, aye capt princep
cease: hi bun
Bambi: hey Bunny
Elayne: I don't like most of what passes for ancient Scandinavian mythology nowadays anyway (i.e., Marvel Comics "owning" Thor and such), because so many of the cool women are left out.
Principalpoop: don't get smartypants with your principalpooppants huh what
Elayne: Hi Bunnyboy!@
Bambi: or hammer in morning...
Dexter Fong (Ret): Poop: I'd hammer out the rhythm in a complex 7/9 metter
Principalpoop: how can they do that? I want to own Zeus and Hera
||||||||| 9:52 PM: Hemlock Scones (and his Moll) jumps out of the hall closet saying "I've been listening to all of you talking about me for the past five minutes!"
cease: hey bun did you get the whole criterion set with the proctor flick on it?
Principalpoop: bows to his highness
cease: hi stones
Ben Bland: Stones. And his moll.
Hemlock Scones (and his Moll): off your knees poop, i dont deal with psychophants
Elayne: Hi Stones!
cease: adrian moll?
Dexter Fong (Ret): Evening Hemlock, how's your war...er uh mole?
Hemlock Scones (and his Moll): Hi Elayn
Ben Bland: psycho pants?
Principalpoop: yes ok stones ok ok sorry
Ben Bland: psychotic elephants?
Dexter Fong (Ret): Snickering HYENAS
Bunnyboy: I devoured SPARTACUS: BLOOD AND SAND. Lovingly over the top.
Principalpoop: look in my trunk and see if you see my keys in there
Ben Bland: sicko fantasies?
Hemlock Scones (and his Moll): Adrian Mole was only 12 3/4 and i am neither a nonce nor gay
Bunnyboy: cat: Yup. It's sitting in one of the monstrous (no, really!) piles.
cease: proctor had a link to it in the lartest planet proctor. it's a hundred bucks!
Dexter Fong (Ret): Must be really good
Principalpoop: michael moore film reviews are not allowed here
Bambi: hey Stones
Bambi: and his Moll :-)
Dexter Fong (Ret): afkfr
Principalpoop: ok fong, I am timing you
Bunnyboy: 7 films, though! And you can find a better deal. Think I landed mine for 75 or 80.
cease: i would only want the proctor flick. did you see it?
Bunnyboy: New 2-discs of LAST PICTURE SHOW, EASY RIDER...
Bunnyboy: It's got HEAD, fer gawsh sakes!
Hemlock Scones (and his Moll): Hi Bambi hows things
cease: yes some good flicks. Head. easy pieces.
Principalpoop: is that the cher film?
Elayne: Hey, Bunnyboy, I liked HEAD, I thought it was a great movie.
Bunnyboy: cat: Nope. In the pile.
cease: kinda heavy on nicholson
Elayne: Have the original vinyl soundtrack from it. Shiny silver. Fifty bucks, as I recall.
Bambi: new year started with a bang...hopefully will get better as time goes on
Bunnyboy: El: Me, too! Not a snark.
Bunnyboy: Well, Nicholson is kinda heavy.
Dexter Fong (Ret): (pant...pant) What's my time Poop?
Principalpoop: as long as 2 oops, that other year is over
Elayne: As far as I'm concerned it's the closest film equivalent to DWARF, it's all about them watching themselves on the tee-vee...
Principalpoop: not even close the record, work harder
cease: i can see that, el
Elayne: "The money's in, we're made of tin, we're here to give you more..." Great stuff.
Ben Bland: Has anyone seen Harry Shearer's The Big Uneasy? http://thebiguneasy.com I can't wait until it's out on DVD.
cease: not yet, bland. i have a copy of his previous flick
Principalpoop: i did not know that was his name, I know that guy
Ben Bland: The Big Uneasy is not a comedy. It's about New Orleans
cease: yes i know ben. i listen to le show faithfully
Hemlock Scones (and his Moll): Has anyone yet seen a TV series called Shameless?