Invocation for the Valiant
Brothers and Sisters, in the sacred chamber aboard this most blessed of vessels,
We gather together, as the beloved bacon is gathered together prior to the separation unto the skillet,
For a moment of reflection, a moment of renewal.
Behold, this Valiant is our great skillet!
It is where we go from being soft, undesirable, impalpable raw cuts
To sizzle and fry and, as if by culinary magic, become the desirous bacon strips of glory!
We come from many lands, and of many different types,
Some are thick cut, some are thin. Others are peppered, while yet other are of the smoke of hickory.
Yet, with the Great One's mighty spatula, through fire, we all become glorious.
May this Valiant forever keep us crisp, but not too crisp,
Progressing with speed, but not too fast so as we become burnt,
And may her fires every burn brightly, leading us forward, while burning the darkness away.
This is ever our invocation for this most blessed of vessels.
Amen.
-Book of Gunn, Bacon Apocrypha. Appendix 1