Membership

[John Falkowski]

Dear Reverend Harris,

Following Marilyn’s lead, I am officially resigning my membership at UUFBR, effective today.

Marilyn was a UU long before me. She joined the Unitarian Universalist Society of Amherst (MA) in the early 1990s, and eventually became its President. In 1999 we moved to eastern Massachusetts and Marilyn became a member of a UU congregation, first in Waltham, then Lexington. During that time, I attended a service when the choirs that Marilyn was part of gave a special musical performance, or to help out at fundraisers.

When we became seasonal residents of Florida in 2012/13, I accompanied Marilyn as she checked out UU congregations, first in North Palm Beach and then UUFBR. I don’t remember what your sermon was about at that first service, but I was “blown away” by it, as I have by most of your sermons over the years. I refer to them as “Zen sermons,” although a more accurate appellation would be “Yin and Yang sermons.” You present a “view” of a topic and then an opposite, but equally-meritorious, “view” of the same topic. The pedagogy inherent in those sermons, in my mind, promotes intellectual and spiritual growth. I was smitten and joined the Fellowship.

People often ask me what I am, politically. And, I always respond: a “1960s’ liberal.” I first arrived on a college campus as a 17 year old freshman in September 1967. I quickly absorbed the ‘60s liberal ethos that imbued higher education at the time. There were three central principles in that ethos, in my opinion. The first embodied the sentiment expressed in Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s sermon in Washington, D.C. on August 28, 1963 in front of 200,000 people: “I have a dream that one day my four children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” The second principle was embodied in the 1964-65 student protests on the University of California - Berkeley campus which became known as the “Free Speech Movement.“ Finally, the third principle, the notion of individual rights and freedoms and small government, was embodied in the car bumper sticker “Question Authority.”

Unfortunately, in my opinion, today many of those who who describe themselves as “liberals” believe in the exact opposite of the above: “identity politics,” “political correctness,” and an ever larger presence of government in our lives (a.k.a., “socialism). In my mind there were plenty of opportunities for members of UUFBR who hold these illiberal, in my humble 1960s opinion, views to meet and discuss them before (e.g., “the forum”) or after Sunday services or at the Fellowship during the week.

Unfortunately for many “social justice warriors” “enough is never enough.” There are always new battles to be fought, and new people (with differing views) to be vanquished. And so the forums, the affinity group (e.g., Healing Justice) meetings outside of services, the PEACE bus rides, etc. were not enough for these individuals. The one hour Sunday spiritual service had to be politicized. And so it has been over the last several years. The sanctuary is no longer a “sanctuary.”

We have made a number of friends at the Fellowship over the years, friends of varying political views, who we will continue to see. As opposed to the chairperson of UUFBR‘s Membership Committee, who recently suggested that prospective members self-administer a political “litmus test” before joining UUFBR, there is no such test in our circle of friends.

In closing, thank you, Harris for your “words of wisdom” embodied in your sermons. I wish you well in your impending retirement and the next chapter of your life. I wish you and your family good health and happiness in the future.

Sincerely,
John Falkowski

[Paul Libert]

Well said John.

Your resignations are a loss to the congregation and to me personally.

Paul

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[John Bostrom]

Waiting since Thursday for some kind of report on what happened at the Board meeting on Thursday.  Have yet to receive any response from any Board member,or anyone else, to the email I sent two days earlier. Not encouraged by John F's resignation.

[Ron Lovell]

Good morning, John,

Your message compels me to make a personal response so that you have that connection.

1. You have received at least one other response to your earlier email:
- - - 
From Paul Libert <pl1...@att.net> on 2020-08-26 4:14 pm

Hi John:

And not supporting BLM and LGBTQ+ makes you inhuman?

Paul
- - -
It seems to me that this kind of reductio ad absurdum response is far from helpful, and should be ignored because there seems to be no attempt to understand the basic message of the image that gender expression and preference springs from within the person and that our role as observer of gender expression in another is simply to honor that other person's expression.

2. I share your sense of loss for the resignation of John and Marilyn Falkowski and I see that as the result of the same reductio ad absurdum logic that fosters division instead of understanding.  The politicization of the Black Live Matter movement fails to acknowledge the current inequities in America that fall along skin color lines. That process fails to acknowledge that those inequities are increasing.  That process fails to acknowledge that in our short American history the process of change always is the result of protest movements, beginning with the Boston Tea Party. The Boston Tea Party was a political protest that occurred on December 16, 1773, at Griffin's Wharf in Boston, Massachusetts. American colonists, frustrated and angry at Britain for imposing “taxation without representation,” dumped 342 chests of tea, imported by the British East India Company into the harbor.  Those protesters at the Boston Tea Party would be called 'thugs and criminals' by the ruling majority, then and today.  You can recall many additional examples of "protests leading to change."

3. Minutes from the Board discussion of Black Lives Matter are being produced and will be available when published.  My take of the general direction of that discussion was to continue and expand the conversation of the divisive issues within the congregation to seek a deeper understanding of the issues and to continue to publicly show our support for a reduction of the inequities in our society.  The Sunday Service, "Unpacking White Privilege" and the Healing Justice "Continuing the Conversation" are serendipitous examples of the general direction.

John, your service, "Seven Principles," provides an excellent statement of a positive approach for UUFBR.

I have attached a statement of my personal opinions on several points raised in recent email conversations.  I welcome your comments and others.
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Ron Lovell
(757) 652-5842
Boynton Beach FL 33436

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/uufbr-board/CAH0RPmgzgota90KGpmYgTkPDqbDtcRTsN6Hyg41fBZFU%2BYYzAw%40mail.gmail.com.

[Sandra Spalletta]

There was a vibrant discussion at the Board meeting that lasted nearly an hour and a half.  Everyone who wished to speak was able to do so and no one appeared reluctant to express his or her opinion.  Thus, all opinions were welcomed even as people disagreed.  The email chain also supports the conclusion that people feel free to express their thoughts at UUFBR.

 

The Board supported Harris’ suggestion that she arrange for congregational meetings to continue the discussion with interested members of the congregation.  These should start shortly.  Harris can provide you with more information about them.

As for your suggestion that Black ministers be invited to address us, this has been tried before but they have their own congregations to tend on Sunday mornings.  People have been discussing visiting Black churches and engaging in communial activities with their congregations.  These and other action ideas were considered at yesterday’s 4:00 meeting.  If you would like to join in with these, please come to the next Healing Justice meeting on September 17. 

 

Sandy

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/uufbr-board/CAH0RPmgzgota90KGpmYgTkPDqbDtcRTsN6Hyg41fBZFU%2BYYzAw%40mail.gmail.com.

[Paul Libert]

Ron:

 

John Bostrom posts an image that says “supporting BLM and LGBTQ+ doesn’t make you liberal, it makes you human.” That’s an absurd statement.  The only thing that makes you human is being born so.  The statement seeks to demonize and dehumanize those persons who don’t support BLM and LGBTQ+ by implying that they are less than human because of their views.

 

Paul

 

 

From: uufbr...@googlegroups.com <uufbr...@googlegroups.com> On Behalf Of Ron Lovell
Sent: Monday, August 31, 2020 10:20 AM
To: uufbr...@googlegroups.com
Cc: Paul Libert <pl1...@att.net>; Harris Riordan <rev...@gmail.com>; prl-...@att.net; Carolyn Brown <cbro...@bellsouth.net>; Elon Bateman <elon_b...@yahoo.com>; Falkowski, Marilyn <mkfal...@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [uufbr-board] Membership

 

Good morning, John,

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/uufbr-board/a5c3266146f4b829f2a919dd0cfdfd71%40lovell.net.

[Ron Lovell]

Paul,

Your reductio ad absurdum logic is perfection. 

The statement "supporting BLM and LGBTQ+ doesn't make you liberal, it makes you human." clearly states that:
1. supporting the position doesn't make you liberal or conservative or Democrat or Republican, i.e., does not make one political
2. 'that it makes you human' only implies that by supporting those struggles one acknowledges human equality and that some humans clearly seek to deny some other humans their rights to personal expression of gender and that other human face inequality simply because of skin color.

The statement makes absolutely NO COMMENT about failure to support those humans struggling against inequality.  The statement further makes absolutely NO COMMENT about those who seek to maintain the status quo or seek to quell the struggles against inequity.

The reader who uses reductio ad absurdum logic to interpret that "because I don't support BLM and LGBTQ+, therefore I am inhuman" fails to acknowledge the diversity of humanity and is perhaps feeling threatened that some other humans differ from him/her and because of that fear has a need to politicize the human struggle against inequities based on gender expression and skin color.

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Ron Lovell
(757) 652-5842
Boynton Beach FL 33436

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/uufbr-board/!%26!AAAAAAAAAAAuAAAAAAAAAKqrap%2BEHiJAmVthxJeoxEoBAMO2jhD3dRHOtM0AqgC7tuYAAAAAAA4AABAAAAAMqAdB76O0R7FSKtQe8J3gAQAAAAA%3D%40att.net.

[Marilyn Falkowski]

I would like you be aware that I have always supported black lives; it is the movement BLM that I have a problem with. I have heard spokesmen for BLM who have talked about burning things down and taking out the whole system. Their followers have destroyed cities, and most importantly minority businesses, owners who saved their whole lives to make their business a success. I wonder what will happen to neighborhood folks who need these businesses for food and clothing after these businesses are either shuttered or relocate somewhere else?

And what about the lives of blacks who endure gang violence on a daily basis and who don’t have the educational opportunities that rich people have when they send their kids to private schools?  I believe all children should have a right to school choice, whether it be charter schools, private schools or public schools.  But nobody deserves terrible schools. I haven’t heard anything from BLM about this issue but it is an important one in helping all people to get better jobs and get away from the constant gang violence.  

Children have been killed through the violence of BLM—do those black lives matter? 

How about poor people in Appalachia and other parts of our country, and abused women and children of all races, and people with significant mental health issues, and the lives of other minorities???

In summary,  I think ALL lives matter and having a banner specifying one group makes me feel we are excluding groups. 

This does not make me uncaring; in fact I care deeply.  I just don’t support the violent solutions of destroying neighborhoods and pitting people of different races against one another.  

Marilyn Falkowski 

On Aug 31, 2020, at 2:17 PM, Ron Lovell <r...@lovell.net> wrote:

[Paul Libert]

Ron:

 

You have effectively transitioned from an argumentum ad absurdum to an argumentum ad hominem.

 

Paul

[Ron Lovell]

Paul,

To be perfectly clear, I am opposed to white supremacy and white privilege as arguments/strategies for maintaining the status quo of inequities in our society.

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Ron Lovell
(757) 652-5842
Boynton Beach FL 33436

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/uufbr-board/!%26!AAAAAAAAAAAuAAAAAAAAAKqrap%2BEHiJAmVthxJeoxEoBAMO2jhD3dRHOtM0AqgC7tuYAAAAAAA4AABAAAAAHRNyyVPZsSIRcS%2B2hihC8AQAAAAA%3D%40att.net.

[Ron Lovell]

Marilyn,

Thank you for sharing more of your position and concerns about Black Lives Matter.

I have no doubts about your genuine concern for black lives, in general, or specifically, and for children killed by violence, and for women and children harmed in abusive relationships with both black and white men.  Or businesses damaged by looters using the Black Lives Matter protest activity as cover.

I share those concerns.

In the statement, Act to End Racism, UUFBR is called to be "the point of change toward equality and respect for life in all matters for all people."  The statement defines 3 specific actions toward that end.
My guess is that you would agree with that vision.

At this point, we disagree on the importance of holding up that Black Live Matter to attention.  Bringing attention to Black Lives Matter does not negate the need to hold up and support other groups of individuals who experience abuse, discrimination, and wrongful, lawless destruction of property.  I see holding up Black Lives Matter somewhat like sending the fire truck to the burning house instead of having it check every house on the way.  

The recent differing treatments of Kyle Rittenhouse and Jacob Blake is another example which suggests to me that it is the black lives that are burning.

As in the closing sentence of Act to End Racism, "When Black Lives Matter, only then can we proclaim that All Lives Matter."  I hope, that at the bottom line, we agree that all lives do matter.  I also hope, that at this time in our country, we agree that some lives don't seem to matter as much as other lives and that one defining line is simply skin color.

As for the movement, Black Lives Matter, it is important to distinguish the official spokespersons from those who would seek to use the movement for their own purposes and from those who would report actions of violence as being instigated by leaders of Black Lives Matter.

BLM, as a movement, is spearheaded by three women of color, Patrisse Cullors, Alicia Garza, and Opal Tometi, who formed the Black Lives Matter Network. Alicia Garza described the network as an online platform that exists to provide activists with a shared set of principles and goals. Local Black Lives Matter chapters are asked to commit to the organization's list of guiding principles but operate without a central structure or hierarchy. Alicia Garza has commented that the Network was not interested in "policing who is and who is not part of the movement."

Here is a link to the 13 guiding principles of Black Lives Matter:
https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/

There is no call for lawlessness, abuse, or property destruction. 

Here is the link to the 7 principles of UUA:
https://www.uua.org/beliefs/what-we-believe/principles

While there distinct differences, I fail to see essential conflict in those two statements.

While we do seem to hold differing opinions about the Black Lives Banner on UUFBR specifically, I believe that we share many more values than we have differences.  I also believe the UUFBR is an open and caring congregation that can and should hold and cherish our differences.

Free in Faith
Diverse in Thought
United in Caring
Committed to Action.

Thank you for your consideration.
---

Ron Lovell
(757) 652-5842
Boynton Beach FL 33436

[bjens...@gmail.com]

Would you guys please stop the insults and agree to disagree. How can we get republicans and democrats in the same room when UUs can’t even get along!

There has to be understanding somewhere!

Sent from my iPhone

On Aug 31, 2020, at 4:09 PM, Ron Lovell <R...@lovell.net> wrote:



To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/uufbr-board/2922def567e00eff902de23e457109d6%40lovell.net.

[Harris Riordan]

Hi all, 

I am with Barb here. I wonder what this email exchange is accomplishing? Sometimes an argument - especially the friendly ones - serve to clarify our own thinking. Having an opponent somehow makes it real, makes it matter more, makes us pull our thoughts together, refine and polish them, and in the process we discover where we are, and learn how to make a better case.  It's what makes arguing so satisfying and so much fun.   (I grew up in a big family, arguing was a dinner table entertainment.) 

But sometimes - like now when everyone in America is anxious and confused, when after months at home all our batteries are at half charge at best, the polishing of points becomes a vehicle for dissipating the anxiety.  An intellectual exercise becomes an emotional trojan horse. (Like I said I grew up in a big family.)  When that happens we can agree to disagree and stop pushing on the issue till things cool down, or when it is an essential issue to us we can try a different approach. (Thanks to my sibs, who taught me this.) 

If the emails are going to continue , may I suggest trying this. 

1. Assume the good intentions of your opponent.

2. Assume you do not understand what and how they think. 

3. Then ask questions. Curious questions. Open ended questions.    

harris

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