"Many women who have reached the stage that I had reached in my drinking have lost husbands, children, homes, everything they hold dear. I have been very fortunate in many ways. The important thing I lost was my own self-respect. I could feel fear coming into my life. I couldn't face people. I couldn't look them straight in the eyes, although I had always been a self-possessed, brazen person. I'd brazen anything out. I lied like a trooper to get out of many scrapes.
But I felt a fear coming
into my life, and I couldn't cope with it. I got so that I hid quite a bit of
the time, wouldn't answer the phone, and stayed by myself as much as I could. I
noticed that I was avoiding all my social friends, except for my bridge club. I
couldn't keep up with many of my other friends, and I wouldn't go to anyone's
house unless I knew they drank as heavily as I did. I never knew it was the
first drink that did it. I thought I was losing my mind when I realized that I
couldn't stop drinking. That frightened me terribly."
2001 AAWS, Inc., Fourth
Edition
Alcoholics Anonymous,
pgs. 291-292
*~*^As
Bill
Sees
It^*~*
Free of Dependence
"I
asked myself, 'Why can't the Twelve Steps work to release me from this
unbearable depression?' By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer: 'It is
better to comfort than to be comforted.' Suddenly I realized what the answer
might be. My basic flaw had always been dependence on people or circumstances to
supply me with prestige, security, and confidence. Failing to get these things
according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications, I fought for them. And
when defeat came, so did my depression. Reinforced by what grace I could find
in prayer, I had to exert every ounce of will and action to cut off these faulty
emotional dependencies upon people and upon circumstances. Then only could I be
free to love as Francis had loved."
GRAPEVINE, JANUARY 1958
Copyright 1967
Alcoholics
Anonymous World Services, Inc.
*~*^Big Book Quote^*~*
"When we decide who is to
hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are
prepared for a long talk. We explain to our partner what we are about to do
and why we have to do it. He should realize that we are engaged upon a
life-and-death errand. Most people approached in this way will be glad to
help; they will be honored by our
confidence."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg.
75
*^Twenty
Four
Hours A
Day^*
A.A. Thought for the Day
Having surrendered our lives to God and put
our drink problem in His hands doesn't mean that we'll never be tempted to
drink. So we must build up strength for the time when temptation will come. In
this quiet time, we read and pray and get our minds in the right mood for the
day. Starting the day right is a great help in keeping sober. As the days go by
and we get used to the sober life, it gets easier and easier. We begin to
develop a deep gratitude to God for saving us from that old life. And we begin
to enjoy peace and serenity and quiet happiness. Am I trying to live the way God
wants me to live?
Meditation for the Day
The elimination of selfishness is the key to
happiness and can only be accomplished with God's help. We start out with a
spark of the Divine Spirit but a large amount of selfishness. As we grow and
come in contact with other people, we can take one of two paths. We can become
more and more selfish and practically extinguish the Divine Spark within us, or
we can become more unselfish and develop our spirituality until it becomes the
most important thing in our lives.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may grow more and more unselfish,
honest, pure, and loving. I pray that I may take the right path every
day.
Hazelden Foundation PO Box 176 Center City, MN
55012