"Before A.A., I could not, or would not, admit I was wrong. My pride would not let me. And yet I was ashamed of me. Caught in this conflict, I banished God from my life because I felt He asked me to adhere to a behavior pattern too high for a man of my human frailty. Somehow, I believed that there could be no forgiveness of any failure, that God required me to be all good. The moral of the story of the Prodigal Son eluded me.
Since I thought trying was
not enough, I stopped trying. That made me feel guilty. For a while, alcohol
blotted out the guilt. Then alcohol became the greatest cause of my guilt. I had
to be beaten to a pulp physically, mentally and emotionally, become bankrupt in
all facets of my being, before I could give up my pride and admit defeat.
Unfortunately, admitting was not sufficient. My situation got worse until I had
to surrender completely. From the depths of my hell, I called out, 'Oh God,
help,' and He led me to a place where I could find a way out of the maze and
then sent me a group of people to lead the way."
1973 AAWS, Inc.
Came to
Believe, 30th printing 2004, pg.86
"Once more: The alcoholic at
certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except
in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a
defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition
More About Alcoholism,
pg. 43
*^Twenty
Four
Hours A
Day^*
A.A. Thought for the Day
In that alcoholic world, one
drink always leads to another and you can't stop till you're paralyzed. And the
next morning it begins all over again. You eventually land in a hospital or
jail. You lose your job. Your home is broken up. You're always in a mess. You're
on the merry-go-round and you can't get off. You're in a squirrel cage and you
can't get out. Am I convinced that the alcoholic world is not a pleasant place
for me to live in?
Meditation for the Day
I must learn to
accept self-discipline. I must try never to yield one point that I have already
won. I must not let myself go in resentments, hates, fears, pride, lust, or
gossip. Even if the discipline keeps me separated from some people who are
without discipline, nevertheless I will carry on. I may have different ways and
a different standard of living than some others. I may be actuated by different
motives than some people. But I will try to live the way I believe God wants me
to live, no matter what others say.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that
I may be an example to others of a better way of living. I pray that I may carry
on in spite of hindrances.
Hazelden Foundation PO Box 176 Center City, MN
55012