2022 MBMFL Auction Recap

[Steve Bilo]

Lads and Blokes,

Welcome to the much anticipated 2022 auction review – given that I am currently on my two weeks
notice before taking a new job on the 19th this write-up is 100% the hardest I will work this week or
next week. Last night was a ton of fun – we have really established a great crew of owners over the
years and I think many agree that this is the league that they care most about. That’s the best
compliment to receive as the commish and what gives me the motivation to do things like this and our
weekly OnlyFans show.

Some years I try and have a theme and this year I am going to try and do some psychoanalyzing and sort
of a Rohrbach test. I am going to look at each of your shitty teams and relate it to a thought, tv show,
song, or movie that pops into my head. I made the decision to do this Rohrbach test style thematic as I
was writing this paragraph so let’s see how this goes.

FantasySportsLegend, Grade: B+
“The Shawshank Redemption”

It’s kind of slow, it’s kind of boring at times, it’s certainly an old movie, but it does kind of slap. That is
sort of my team that I built that is led by Diggs and Henry. I would wager that bests any RB/WR combo in
the league this year but I wouldn’t describe either as sexy or flashy picks. Both guys are in their late 20s
and don’t have the sex appeal of a Jamarr Chase or a Deandre Swift but they get the fuckin job done and
are proven, durable commodities. My plan coming into this draft was to leave with Derrick Henry – I
have never owned him in any league and I am super excited to watch him turn Jaguar DBs into a fine,
red mist. I had no plans of rooting for 45 year old Tom Brady this season and I have my doubts about
him this season but for $4 it was a no-brainer and no one has ever won any money betting against this
alien of a human. I grade myself a B+ because I stayed incredibly patient after my big spend on King
Henry for $74. I think I did a nice job of rounding out my team with solid, capable players that have
upside with the likes of Gibson, Godwin, Jeudy, and Waddle. I like my upside/keeper plays in Jameson
Williams and Chris Olave as well. I think this team will be very consistent but maybe lacks the punch of
some of the other squads in the league.

Big Daddy AE, B+
“Game of Thrones”

A phenomenal show with a shitty ending. That was my emotion as I scrolled through the Big Daddy AE
roster. Dak, Deebo, DJ Moore, Mixon, Fournette, Waller!!!! Dotson…Mattison…Rondale…Wandale yuck. I hit a
crescendo after announcing Waller to myself and realized that this team is very stout but it does lack the
full completeness that would get you into the A’s and in receipt of the kiss of death. If I was to nitpick
here I think it is fair to question Fournette’s ability to deliver on his price tag this season…for a lot of the
same reasons I am hesitant on my enthusiasm of TB12, I am a bit worried Fournette may be a bit of fool’s gold this season.
He has had one of the strangest careers of a highly drafted RB that I can ever remember…except maybe
Trent Richardson? Overall I think this team is really good and not having bench depth or a reliable flex
option in week 1 is the best problem you can have…but still a problem. Also, it is worth noting that both
of your receivers have new quarterbacks and that leaves a bit of uncertainty even though they both
have very good name brand value.

Ty Man’s All Starz, C+
“Big Fish in a Small Pond”

That was the impression I got when I first looked at the core of this lineup. Chubb, Saquon, Bobby
Woods, and Rashaad Penny round out the starting lineup and all of those guys are either on potentially
very bad teams/offenses or in timeshare/lame duck situations. As much as we all love Saquon Barkley, I
think it is naïve to think that the 2018 version of himself is going to walk through the door. RBs age more
quickly than presidents and while it’s romantic to think that Brian Daboll can turn things around for
Saquads, you can color me as very skeptical. I think the Higgins keep for $32 was a tad questionable but
he probably would have went right around there I suppose. Mahomes was a nice addition to this squad
to add some stability and weekly upside but I feel bad for you having to watch your RBs on the
Seahawks, Giants, and Browns every week.

JibbyJawns, B-
“The Sopranos”

Another amazing show with an ending that many felt was confusing and poorly structured. The trio of
Kupp, Evans, and Najee is very solid but I think you made a bit of mistake chasing down Mike Evans for
$35. Even though Kupp was an awesome value to keep for $44, that is still a pretty good chunk of
change. This is effectively a team in a snake draft that had a first round pick, two second round picks,
and then didn’t pick again until the 8 th round and I think that’s how teams can get into trouble in
auctions. We have seen it time and time again. The back half of this roster and even some of the starters
don’t really get me all that excited with the likes of Singletary, Ertz, and Renfrow. Overall I think this
team will need to look a bit different as the season goes on if you hope to make the playoffs.

The Fat Cat, B
“Big Bang Theory”

I don’t say this wildly overrated comedy because of anything to do with the show but more the title. This
team has a SHIT load of pop to it but damn I think there could be some wild swings in a week to week
league. To me, Mike Williams and Courtland Sutton are very similar players in their size, athletic profiles,
and also fantasy output. If you were going to be critical of Justin Herbert, it’s that he was pretty
inconsistent last year as well. Sure his final numbers were impressive but go back to his game logs and
you will see what I’m talking about. I think Jonathan Taylor is going to be a lot of fun for you to watch
this year and I prefer him to CMC at the 1.01, personally. He is going to bring consistency to your team
that will desperately crave it. I would have liked your team a lot more if you had gone with a different
player than Courtland Sutton as your big spend at WR….He could be great but it’s all sort of speculative.
I think The Fat Cat will have some big weeks and some bum weeks.

TefLonDon, B-
“Groundhog Day”

Time is a flat circle. I feel like this is the same team Lateff has drafted every single year for the past 3
years. I admire his gumption and persistence…draft this team, miss the playoffs, redraft the same team
and try again the next year. It makes it hard for me to make any new jokes when it’s the same
smattering of eagles, penn state alumni, and failed RB2s with draft capital and sexy names. Now what I
do like about this team is his bench and depth…guys like Drake London, Cordarelle Patterson, Jamaal
Williams, and Nyhiem Hines all have a ton of upside to me and could very well be attractive weekly
options at some point this season. This was about as close to a zero RB approach that we saw in the
league this year and I think that it went pretty okayish? Davante Adams and Diontae Johnson both have
new QBs and their former QBs are both hall of famers. I think it’s fair to expect a meaningful drop off in
their production. All in all it went okay for the Don but I don’t think this team is making the playoffs.

Toon Squad, B
“The Little Giants”

Your team is small as fuck, lol. The average height on this squad is like 5’8 and wouldn’t intimidate a
middle school JV team as they got off the bus. Good thing this sport isn’t about imposing your will on
another man and moving them off of a spot you intend to be. I actually thought keeping Brandin Cooks
was a cheeky move and he was a lot better than people remember last season…this may be a hot take
but I think Davis Mills may be around for a while. He may be better suited as a backup than a starter but
I think he is certainly an NFL QB. I think the Chase Edmonds pick is an interesting one and he was a guy
that I had circled as an upside RB2 but god damn he reminds me of how Myles Gaskin made me feel last
season. I think Dalvin is in for a better season than 2021 but he can be frustrating at times and every
time he gets tackled your butthole will pucker because he is made of porcelain. I think this team is solid
enough and maybe on the playoff bubble but I don’t see a league winner here.

Luchinator, A
“Big”

If any of you young whippersnappers have never seen the movie “Big” I would certainly put it on your
list. A coming of age tale about Tom Hanks quickly having to transform into a pre-pubescent boy into a
full grown man. That’s what is fucking happening here before our very eyes, folks. Looch got married,
had a kid, and is now somehow drafting competent fantasy rosters. What a fuckin world. This is a damn
good team with serious league winning upside at just about every position. The combination of J Jeff
and AJB is terrifying to play against in any given week and while there may be Cam Akers haters out
there, I think it is always smart to bet on talent (and draft capital) and he is an explosive every down
back when he’s healthy and on a very good offense. The same can be said about Javonte Williams…is it
crazy to say he has a legit shot at being the RB1 this season if the Broncos offense is transformed? I
don’t think it is. Combine that with a mega upside play in Kyle Pitts at TE and DK Metcalf in the flex and
it’s fuckin wheels up for the Luchinator. I think the DK Metcalf hate has reached a fever pitch in fantasy
circles and the fact that Geno Smith won the job is a HUGE positive for him. Now your bench is kind of
shit from both an upside and replacement perspective and that is the only thing keeping you from an A+
in my gradebook…but it does not keep you from receiving my KISS OF DEATH. MWAH.

Buffaloes, C+
“Grumpy Old Men”

This is the same paragraph I write every year for the big fella. Some years I am right and other years I am
wrong. Kipper’s strategy is to pay as much as he needs to for CMC, pair him with Josh Allen, spend up on
one other expensive player, complain about being out of money, complain about being bored, and go to
bed. CMC is becoming a bit of an enigma in fantasy…he has burned a lot of players reading this sentence
and it’s so frustrating because his Ladainian Tomlinson level of fantasy godliness is right fuckin there but
every injury, missed game, reinjured injury makes it feel like we will never actually arrive at the
destination with CMC. What’s ironic is that early in his career he was revered for his durability but that
can all change very quickly as we have seen. I have been a Zeke stan for a long time and this was the first
year that I really didn’t want a whole lot to do with him. Anyone with eyeballs can see that Tony Pollard
is objectively the better player at this point in their careers. I do think he will stumble his way to solid
RB2 numbers and 10 touchdowns but there is a hell of a lot more downside than upside to Zeke. I think
Thielen and Gabe Davis are an okay pairing at WR…but the reality is that Kipper tends to make the
playoffs despite his auction because he is very good at finding production on the waiver wire. He also
knows the value of just having the best QB and the best RB…when both of them go for 32 points, the
rest tends to figure itself out.

Tony Horton, B
“The Bottom Shelf in the Cereal Aisle”

You know the bottom shelf is full of all of those poor-person, off-brand cereals like Fruity Rings, Honey
Nut Circles. If I showed this team to a casual fan of the NFL they would have no idea who any of these
guys are. With that being said this team is full of players that have seen a lot of fantasy buzz and hype
come their way in the past few weeks. Guys like Dameon Pierce, Rashod Bateman, Amon Ra St Brown,
Dalton Schultz are all some of the names we hear on every podcast or youtube video we watch telling us
who to target as sleepers. Zelk is value investor at heart and I think he built a team that does have some
decent upside and a lot of depth. His bench has guys like CeH, Kareem Hunt, Michael Thomas, Trey
Lance…it’s not wild to think all of those guys could finish near the top of their position groups. I do think
you lack some name brand Frosted Flakes on this team…I would have liked this team more if you opted
for a more proven commodity like Joe Mixon as opposed to Deandre Swift.

Burnt Toast, A-
“I love you, man”

I chose the bromance comedy because I feel like via my write-ups and my commentaries, AN probably
thinks I’m trying to suck him off. What can I say, the man knows how to draft an auction team and I find
that to be a very attractive trait in some I give fellatio to. I honestly had a pretty tough call to give Looch the KoD
over AN but I stand by my decision. This is another team that has upside up and down the roster and
actually has a much better bench/depth situation than the Luchinator. Lamar Jackson feels like he could
go off this season for fantasy purposes and someone I wanted as my QB but the price got to be a little
high. I really like how he structured his RB corps by snagging A Jones, Dillon, Etienne, and J Rob which
you could argue may cannibalize one another a bit but it also provides steady returns and upside if any
player misses time. Is it crazy to think George Kittle could outscore all TEs if Trey Lance is good and
targets him heavily? I don’t think so. The decision for an A- ultimately came down to the receivers that
left me a tad wanting with A Rob and Darnell Mooney as your starters. I think it’s fair to say that the
student has become the master in the Nigro household and the baton of fantasy prowess has been
passed.

Hardhittas, D+
“Tenet”

Talk about a movie that confused the living fuck out of everyone and left them with a million questions. I
think Christopher Nolan is sort of trolling people at this point and seeing how crazy and confounding of
movies he can make before anyone calls him on it. That’s sort of how I feel about the Hardhittas roster –
there are just a shit ton of question marks on it at like every position. There is some decent depth on
this team but even his best player, Michael Pittman, is pretty speculative with a new QB and assuming
he can take that next step into an Alpha receiver role. Although Nigro was pretty involved in the action I
think that he waited too long to pull the trigger and it left him with a team full of guys that are
discounted from their potential value for a reason. Looking at you, James Conner, Eli Mitchell, and JK
Dobbins. Having one or two of them can offer some upside based on that uncertainty but having an
entire team of them is just hoping to call a coin flip right 8 times in a row…it’s not happening. This team
missed the mark for me.

Clifford’s Cool Cats, B+
“Richie Rich”

I can’t be the only one that noticed that Pender was a fuckin banshee in the auction last night. I have
never seen price enforcement with such vigor and reckless abandon in all my years. He even told me
prior to the auction that he was going to choose violence and he stuck to his word. He was bidding like
he had all the money in the world…the result was a pretty decent team. I think everyone had Derek Carr
circled as a QB you could get for like $5 late in the draft but that turned out to cost double. I am sort of
fascinated by the Raiders this season – I am very excited to see how this plays out. The core of Ekeler,
KA13, and Kelce is an AFC West powerhouse of a trio. Do I think Ekeler scores 20 TDs in 2022 like he did
in 2021? No…but I do think he is a much more attractive option at RB than some of the other guys in his
tier. It’s also not wild to think that Travis Kelce could outscore every single WR and he only cost you $44.
I just changed your score from a B to a B plus as I was writing this because I like your bench and depth
more than I thought I did at first. Guys like Hopkins and Kenneth Walker could prove to be really nice
players in the second half of the season and provide you a boost headed toward the playoffs.

Releasing Doves, B+
“The Three Musketeers”

I don’t think anyone in the league has a better combo of RB/WR/TE than the Doves. The triumvirate of
Kamara, Andrews, and Jamarr Chase is fuckin dirty in a 14 team league. Having Chase as the keeper of
the year for only $24 certainly made that possible. When you have a keeper that is THAT good, the
pressure builds in the front office to have it pay off. I think Rhodes answered the bell and certainly put
the bones together for a really good team and that Burrow/Chase stack is going to be a lot of fucking fun
to watch every week. But did he furnish those bones with high end upholstery and west elm sofas? Ehhh
that is up for debate a bit. His supporting cast does not get me super excited with the likes of
Rhamondre, David Montgomery, and Christian Kirk but I think they were all fairly reasonably priced.
Now let’s just hope that video of Alvin Kamara curb stomping an unconscious dude outside of a night
club doesn’t leak.

That is the end…I hope everyone enjoys the write up during your afternoon poop and please let me know what you think I got wrong
or what you disagree with. Best of luck to everyone in the 2022 season. GO BILLS!

SB

[STEPHEN BILO]

LOLOLOL

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[Brett Rhodes]

Well done SB. Good luck fellas

🕊 🕊 🕊 

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[STEPHEN BILO]

You too, Bert!!

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[Sean Pender]

As always one of my favorite emails of the year. Continues to get better. Best of luck 

On Sep 7, 2022, at 4:52 PM, STEPHEN BILO <sb...@comcast.net> wrote:



To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/stevebilo-fantasy-football-league/1725052097.402503.1662587526233%40connect.xfinity.com.

[Matthew Scott Zelkovitz]

 IMG_0997.MOV

Morning Fellas,

I hope your season started off as SWIFTly as CEH and mine did.   Please see the attached video of MBMFL 2021 last place Tony Horton doing the chip challenge.  I was up at 3am shitting this thing out and my A hole is still burning as i send this email.  Do Not Finish Last.

Tony Horton 1-0

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[Steve Bilo]

LOL that was amazing. I laughed for 4 minutes straight. Well done, Zelk. 

Get Outlook for iOS

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From: stevebilo-fantas...@googlegroups.com <stevebilo-fantas...@googlegroups.com> on behalf of Matthew Scott Zelkovitz <daze...@gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2022 9:35:20 AM
To: stevebilo-fantas...@googlegroups.com <stevebilo-fantas...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: 2022 MBMFL Auction Recap

 

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/stevebilo-fantasy-football-league/CAFtRHhbZ%3DiJSdfgqc90HxesjHRdSpK0HTFhBNk%2BgY0TdbdOEfg%40mail.gmail.com.

[Zachary Buckwalter]

Haha love it Zelk. Forgot that this had to happen. Nicely done, good luck this year. 

Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 13, 2022, at 10:24 AM, Steve Bilo <sjb...@gmail.com> wrote:



To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/stevebilo-fantasy-football-league/CP6P284MB16711F6DC763ED52023966BCAC479%40CP6P284MB1671.BRAP284.PROD.OUTLOOK.COM.

[Brett Rhodes]

That was great. Respect.

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