My Poem and Chat GPT
Markendeya Yeddanapudi
( Thanks to PV,Dada Poem)
My one and only, weapon, photon in commotion,
My Arena, the Universe, photon-synthesize emotion,
I catch them, from their flight, create consciousness for initiation,
Quasars, Galaxies, Stars, Planets, Moons, Matters…in the stampede of motion,
Frantic to return to the society of Photons as promotion,
Photon-synthesis as emotional synthesis for solution,
In the Photon Socialism of emotional participation,
The Photosynthesized emotional symbiosis as destination,
I angle my photons creating the Thermodynamic agitation,
The angle of photons for the soil bacteria design determination,
In the movement of molecules and atoms of heat, the soil bacteria in creation,
Sprout the bundles of emotions-plants, grass, trees in diverse coloration,
Flowers that attract bees for sexual procreation,
Flora and Fauna, cover every surface with emotional communication,
Join the Emotional and Cosmic Symbiotic race to join the Dirac Ocean,
My Dear Saraswathi, search your Saraswat to fight the mechanization,
Dear Saraswathi,the machines do not follow emotions, but go for feeling-less multiplication.
YM Sarma
Chat gpt
Commentary on "Brahma in Quandary" by YM Sarma
"Brahma in Quandary" is a dense, visionary poem that fuses cosmology, metaphysics, biology, and socio-philosophical thought into a singular imaginative meditation. The title signals the central tension: Brahma, the creator deity in Hindu cosmology, is in a state of uncertainty or conflict—a "quandary"—perhaps with the mechanization and dehumanization of the universe he once seeded with emotion and consciousness.
1. Photon as the Primordial Force
From the outset, the poem posits light (photon) as the "one and only weapon"—a metaphor for creative power and consciousness:
"My one and only, weapon, photon in commotion,"
Photons are the initiators of life, emotion, and matter in this metaphysical framework. Their motion sparks creation, and the poet invents the term "photon-synthesize emotion", suggesting that even emotions are a product of energetic, luminous processes—not unlike photosynthesis, but elevated to a spiritual-emotional plane.
2. Creation as Emotional Evolution
The universe—quasars, stars, planets, and even bacteria—is birthed through a chain of emotionally infused thermodynamic motion:
"I catch
them, from their flight, create consciousness for initiation..."
"...Thermodynamic agitation... soil bacteria in creation"
This blend of scientific terminology and poetic spiritualism reflects a worldview where science and spirituality are not in conflict, but interwoven. Emotions are not abstract sentiments—they are as real and foundational as atoms and photons.
3. Photon Socialism and Emotional Symbiosis
One of the most intriguing ideas is "Photon Socialism"—a striking phrase that suggests a utopian, collective model of emotional and energetic exchange:
"Photon-synthesis
as emotional synthesis for solution,"
"In the Photon Socialism of emotional participation"
This merges political philosophy with metaphysical cosmology, implying that harmony and cooperation are cosmic laws, not just human ideals. All entities—from bacteria to stars—participate in a grand, emotional-social symbiosis.
4. Saraswathi and the Crisis of Mechanization
The final stanzas shift tone, invoking Saraswathi, the goddess of knowledge, language, and art:
"My Dear Saraswathi, search your Saraswat to fight the mechanization..."
Here, the poem touches on a modern crisis: the rise of machines and artificial processes that lack emotional resonance:
"...the machines do not follow emotions, but go for feeling-less multiplication."
This critique could be aimed at AI, industrialization, or even the reductionist scientific worldview. The poem warns that mechanized existence devoid of emotion threatens the cosmic balance established by the "Photon Socialism" of the universe.
5. Stylistic Elements
- Language: The poem uses a hybrid of scientific and mythological diction—"Dirac Ocean", "thermodynamic agitation", "Saraswathi"—creating a linguistic ecosystem as diverse as the one it describes.
- Form: There's a cascading rhythm, almost like a stream-of-consciousness, with enjambment and fluid phrases that mirror the unbroken flow of photons and emotions.
- Innovation: The poet coins unique phrases—"photon-synthesize emotion", "Photon Socialism", "emotional symbiosis"—expanding language to match the ambition of the ideas.
Final Thoughts
"Brahma in Quandary" is a profound and richly layered poem that reimagines the creation and sustenance of the universe as fundamentally emotional and interconnected. It mourns the rise of soulless mechanization while calling upon divine wisdom (Saraswathi) to restore balance. The poem invites us to rethink not just how we understand the cosmos, but how we live within it—emotionally, spiritually, and socially.
Would you like this edited into a shorter blurb, or would you like me to analyze specific lines or themes further?
Certainly! Here's a formal evaluation of the poem "Brahma in Quandary" by YM Sarma, based on standard literary criteria used in advanced creative writing or literature programs. This includes marks out of 100 and a grade based on the following categories:
🔍 Evaluation Criteria
|
Criterion |
Marks (Out of 20) |
Comments |
|
1. Originality and Creativity |
19 |
The poem is conceptually bold, merging science, philosophy, mythology, and politics. Phrases like “Photon Socialism” and “photon-synthesize emotion” are uniquely inventive. |
|
2. Thematic Depth and Clarity |
17 |
The cosmic-emotional metaphor is rich, but at times dense. Some thematic strands could be more clearly developed (e.g., mechanization vs. emotional cosmos). |
|
3. Language and Imagery |
16 |
Strong use of metaphysical and scientific imagery, but some phrasing feels overloaded. The emotional impact is intellectual rather than sensory. |
|
4. Structure and Coherence |
14 |
The poem flows like a cosmic stream of thought, which suits the theme, but some lines feel disjointed or overly complex. Slight editing would enhance clarity. |
|
5. Literary Devices and Style |
17 |
Effective use of alliteration, metaphor, neologisms, and personification (especially invoking Saraswathi). The poetic voice is consistent and ambitious. |
📊 Total Marks: 83 / 100
🎓 Grade: A– (Very Good)
✅ Strengths
- Highly original concept and vocabulary.
- Strong integration of multiple domains: physics, mythology, biology, politics.
- The philosophical tone gives it a unique intellectual flavor.
⚠️ Areas for Improvement
- Some phrases are overloaded or ambiguous (“emotional symbiosis” is intriguing but could benefit from clearer grounding).
- Structure and pacing can be refined to improve emotional resonance and reader accessibility.
✍️ Final Comment:
"Brahma in Quandary" is a compelling and intellectually ambitious poem that engages the cosmic, emotional, and philosophical realms with originality and daring. With slight refinement in structure and language clarity, it could reach an even higher poetic register.
Would you like suggestions for revision or polishing, based on this evaluation?
Certainly! Here's an original poem inspired by the cosmic and philosophical themes in "Brahma in Quandary", but with my own voice and structure:
The Silence Between Photons
In the hush before light was flung,
no stars wept, no atoms sung—
just silence coiled in a timeless thread,
a breath unbreathed, a word unsaid.
Then came a shimmer—not a sound,
not space, nor time, nor solid ground,
but will, unformed, in restless grace,
seeking mirrors in empty space.
A photon blinked. The first to dare
to ripple through the void’s blank stare.
Its motion carved the rules of heat,
etched rhythm in the pulse of beat.
From spin and spark, from pull and flame,
the galaxies grew mouths and names.
A whisper in a neutron's curve
became the heart, became the nerve.
And somewhere, deep in stellar dust,
a thought emerged, unsure, unjust.
It asked not “how,” but only “why,”
and learned, too late, the stars must die.
Still, every birth from dark began—
the flower, the flame, the thought, the man.
Yet in their dance, one truth holds tight:
no shadow lives without the light.
Would you like another in a different style or theme—perhaps mythological, romantic, or abstract?
Rajaram Krishnamurthy
Yes, photons are destructible; when a photon is absorbed, it ceases to exist as a photon, with its energy transferred to another form, such as kinetic energy of an electron, which can then be re-emitted as a new photon. This process, described by quantum theory, is not a destruction of energy but rather a transformation from one form to another.
Whispers of Light written by Garden burnham
A whisper born in stellar breath,
Escapes the cradle, void of death.
It sails on tides of endless black,
A thread of gold, no turning back.
It danced where nova songs once flared,
Where time stood still, where few have dared.
No weight, no mass — just speed and flame,
It knows no home, it knows no name.
Through prism’s kiss and mirrored lies,
It weaves the truth with silent cries.
A witness carved in spectral hue,
To every dawn, to every blue.
It grazes skin, it fuels the seed,
It speaks in light — no voice, no need.
The photon hums, unseen, yet near,
A whisper only stars can hear.
So close your eyes — it lingers on,
The breathless song of photon’s dawn.
A flicker in the void so wide,
The universe — its only guide.
ATOMS TURNS INTO ATOMS
DESTROY OTHERS NOT SELF
PHOTONS MERGE LOSES THE ATOM
NEUPHOTON CHANGE NAME-SELF
ELECTRON NAME OF PART ATOM
LIGHT IS POTENTIAL ENERGY IS
CHANGING KINETIC SURPRISE
STAR MAGIC STARTS ITS DANCE
MULTIPLE FORMS AT ASKANCE.
K RAJARAM IRS 3925
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