Appaloosa Purple Prose

[Philip Williamson]

Presented without commentary. 

SFBay Craigslist ad: https://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/bik/d/alameda-59-60cm-rivendell-joe-appaloosa/7557541510.html

Fully quotated for posterity: 

“Hi, up for sale is a buttery scrumptious mustard cream super hero bike turned fast sold out Rivendell classic. It’s like the cosmic cool standout relative or friend that you just want to always be around. 

A few nicks and scratches from transport and storage but overall in great shape. It is size 60cm that I measure the toptube at 59cm (center to top) and toptube 59.5 center to center; it has 700c wheels and built light on the feet tho like a frickin tank. Great ride that eats up and then smiles on all terrains.

“If the Greek god Zeus rode a touring bike, it’d be a Rivendell and most likely, it’d be a Joe Appaloosa. Rivendell is straight forward with the Joe Appaloosa. First off, it’s named after a rather unique breed of horse, then, they took their two most famous touring bikes, the Sam Hillborne and the Hunqapillar, combined them and made one bad-ass road touring bike. These bikes are confidence-inspiring works of art, chiseled from stone and as timeless, or legendary as mythology. Ok, maybe that was too much… They’re just damn sexy!

“Those frames scream fully-loaded confidence with a fist-sized gap between the rear tire and seat tube, ensuring that even if you want to dive into a turn, this frame will take its own, secure and smooth line. Which is great for a touring or city bike. Loaded on descents, this long wheelbase makes for a predictable and comfortable ride.

“Or, to be more concise, the Appaloosa is:

“It’s not for stunts, boulder-bouncing, or loaded expeditionary off-road touring, but as a trail bike for sober non-yahoos who weigh less than 215lb, it’s ideal, perfect.. That 215lb isn’t a scientifically-derived number, just a hipshot suggestion based on the Joe having a heavier fork than Sam’s and lighter one than Hunqapillar’s.”

“For $2,250 complete, this bike could be yours and you’d have one of the most incredible looking touring and town bikes around. Why so much $ you may ask-Well this bike rocks and last one that sold on EBAY WENT FOR $4,000, tho admittedly a little better better components.

“Find out more about this ride on Rivendell’s website or other online blogs. Or at the Rivendell Bicycle Works Fleet Headquarters in Walnut Creek

“Tags: Touring, Track, bmx, 6ku, golden, Mercier, Aventon, all city shinola, wabi harry bullitt, cruiser, womens, girls, mens, boys, Yeti, specilized, Santa Cruz, carbon, Rocky Mountain, 27.5, 29, trek, diamondback, norco, full suspension Trek Pivot cannondale Giant yeti Santa Cruz Bulls Riese Muller Haibike izip Focus KTM shimano fox powerfly Vado Como Pedego Elevate Sonders full-e Canyon rocky mountain Kenevo Bmc nomad bronsen Stumpjumper camber Levo Diamondback scott kona Trance remedy fuel slash anthem stance demo enduro reign Sram one by campy demo downhill trail 29 29er 650b 27.5 26 yamaha Levo Creo Enduro Specialized MTB Ebike e-bike eMTB E-mtb 700c carbon 9r 10r 11r specialized hotrock riprock hardtail crosstrail ariel sirrus vita slope slopestyle dirt jumper dirtjumper DJ fx sport 3 4 5 6 dual sport verve escape Trek Domane Cannondale Synapse Boardman Allied Alfa Giant TCR BMC Teammachine SLR01 Jamis Renegade Diamondback Podium Vitesse 3T Strada diverge Giant Defy OPEN U.P.P.E.R. allez Kona Rove Canyon Ultimate CF SLX tarmac sworks s works s-works Liv Langma pinarello dogma Raleigh revere Fuji felt orbea salsa kestrel ridley roadmachine pro comp sport ultegra 105 durace dura ace dura-ace di2 sora apex red etap e tap e-tap wilier pinnacle roval cervelo dolce sequoia coda bianchi amira madone awol crux langster shiv venge cyclocross gravel emonda boone crockett checkpoint Schwinn Micargi Giant Dyno GT Electra Murray Specialized Trek Raleigh Huffy Columbia Diamondback BMX Haro Ripper Redline Kustom Kruiser Kruzer King Mongoose Phat 3G Ripper Flyer SE Greenline Magna Nirve AddMotor, Benno, Bianchi, Breezer, Cervelo, Cyclekids, DelSol, Diamondback, Evo, Felt, Fuji, Haro, Haven, IZIP, Jamis, Linus, Marin, Masi, Norco, Orbea, Raleigh, Redline, Reid, Rocky Mountain, SE Bikes, Zipp, Orange, Paul, Seven Peaks, Sun, Tuesday, Thruster, Univega Yuba, Extracycle eBike, cargo, cargo bike, electric bike, bike, bicycle, Bafang, Radwagon, Trek, Specialized, Cannondale, Giant, touring, bbshd, bbs02, BBHD, BBSH, BBSHD, BBS02, BBS01, BBS02B, electric bike, electric bicycles, electric bikes, Xtracycle, cargo bikes, Yuba bike, Tern, Rad bike, Radbicycle frame, Aventon, Surly, Soma, Salsa, Electra, Schwinn, Mongoose, BMX, Fixie, gravel bike, gravel bikes, Santa Cruz, Rocky Mountain, bike, bicycle, Orbea, Dahon”

[Joe Bernard]

Needs more tags. 

[Scott Luly]

LOL, Joe!!!

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

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[Matthew Williams]

Oh, where to begin? I owned this bike for approximately two months. Here’s what happened:

A few months ago, I bought this Appaloosa (identical to my current whip) from the original owner and shipped the bike via BikeFlights. But when UPS delivered it, I braced myself for disappointment: the box had a tire track across one side, the top and sides were torn, and a large hole had been haphazardly patched with several strips of clear packing tape. 

I took photos as I carefully unpacked the bike. A truck had backed over the bike: the seatstays, chainstays, rear rack, and fork were badly bent, the front wheel was crushed, and the frame was visibly deformed and out of alignment. BikeFlights reimbursed me for the shipping costs and what I paid for the bike. To fulfill the claim, BikeFlights sent me a shipping label, and directed me to repack and ship the crushed bike to a non-profit organization.

I don’t know the concatenation of circumstances, but the bike is once again for sale—the frame and forks have been fixed and the front wheel has been replaced. To be clear, I neither question the integrity or the worksmanship of the builder who straightened the frame, nor am I accusing the seller or anyone involved of malice, deception, or anything untoward. 

The purpose of this note is so interested purchasers can make an informed decision. If I was considering buying this bike, I’d want someone to warn me. 

[Joe Bernard]

Well that explains the new/narrower front wheel and a dynamo light with wires leading to nowhere cuz the dynamo is gone. Yikes! 

[Philip Williamson]

How do you know it’s the same bike?

It looks distinctly un-smashed, and you don’t know the “concatenations of circumstances.”

What non-profit did you mail it to?

Philip

Nonplussed in Sonoma County, where even the Riv-knowledgeable bike co-op won’t take a smashed bike. 

On Sunday, December 4, 2022 at 7:11:00 PM UTC-8 Matthew Williams wrote:

[WilletM]

The CL bike does appear to be missing paint on the inside of the non-drive seatstay just below the middle rack braze-on, which is the same location as the damage and missing paint of Matthew's Appaloosa.  That would be the clincher for me even more than some of the parts in common, which I imagine is a very common occurrence on Riv's that are purchased as completes from RBW.

Willet M.

[Joe Bernard]

Good eye, Willet. Of course one of the selling points Riv promotes about steel frames is they can be repaired so it doesn't mean this is a bad bike, but all that hullabaloo in the Craigslist copy should probably mention the history. Me-thinks! 

[Mr. Ray]

Left seat stay enlarged:

[Cyclofiend Jim]

If you have detailed photos of the fork, I think it would be appropriate to post those as well. 

Jim / list admin

On Sunday, December 4, 2022 at 7:11:00 PM UTC-8 Matthew Williams wrote:

[Matthew Williams]

Here are some more photos. I couldn't get the fork to lie flat but I tried to capture the bent ends.

With regards to, "how do you know it's the same bike?" Well, I owned it. I know it the same way you know your own bike. I recognized it from the original ad photos from when I bought it, and from when I unpacked it, and from the build components, and from the touch-up paint on the fork, and the chainstay wrap, and from the month I stared at it behind my desk while I waited for BikeFlights to process my claim, and from the seller's confirmation he obtained the bike from the non-profit to which I sent it.

Photo from the original ad when I bought the bike, and the recent CL ad. Note the touchup paint on the fork.

 

[Joe Bernard]

"A few nicks and scratches from transport and storage.."

Well that's one way to put it! 

[Matthew Williams]

Someone must have contacted the seller. The ad has been updated:

"This bike is overall in great shape with just a few nicks and scratches but please note that during transport the rear steel seat stay was bent, but a very reputable local frame builder realigned/bent it back and fixed it."

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[Joe Bernard]

It wasn't me! 

[Scott Luly]

I don't have it in me to sell a bike with such a notable history like the damage to that one and not candidly disclose it.

Maybe it was an unintentional oversight, but the ad language seemed to preempt more to come. My antenna went up, anyways.

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

I love my country...

Scott in frozen ground Montana

https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/rbw-owners-bunch/92fb5418-9beb-4075-bf61-8f5a9b694acfn%40googlegroups.com

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[Matthew Williams]

 . . . and the ad’s been deleted.

Wonder if he sold it, if he found our discussion, or both.

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/rbw-owners-bunch/1625794992.1120751.1670294923798%40mail.yahoo.com.

[Joe Bernard]

Most Riv owners know this site, I imagine he's seen the thread. 

On Monday, December 5, 2022 at 7:03:28 PM UTC-8 Scott wrote:

Joe told him!

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/rbw-owners-bunch/C2CBB283-2D00-420C-90FC-4B696579BB69%40gmail.com.

[Joe Bernard]

I know! I was responding to Matthew, too, plus just having my Deep Thought about all the things. Joe Bernard, Deep Thinker! 

On Monday, December 5, 2022 at 7:19:44 PM UTC-8 Scott wrote:

I was pulling your pant leg...yank, yank

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/rbw-owners-bunch/8623adad-2ecc-4c6d-ab8e-ef310439f58bn%40googlegroups.com.

[Jon Freeman]

Hello,

I contacted the seller. This bike was put on my radar by a friend who is looking to make his Rivendell dream come true.

The conversation with the seller was kind of weird in my opinion.

Here's how it went:

Me:Hey, was the frame in an accident?

*he replies immediately*

Him: That’s an interesting first question. Yes, but what prompted you to ask that?

Me: There's a thread about your post on the rivendell forum. It's my opinion that you should let folks know straight up on the ad. Especially for the price you're asking.

I stepped away from the computer until now and he sent me the following two messages.

Him: Sure, sounds good. Curious what someone posted. Thx

Him: Hi Jon, ok just updated my listing as I agree is totally appropriate and just informed two very interested buyers. I was going to talk about it in person but you’re right it’s really better to put in the listing. It’s hard to tell the seat stay was ever bent. I am very curious what someone posted in the forum and how fair and/or factual what they said is. Is there any way you can forward me the significant part of that thread? I’d really appreciate it. Thx John

The above is an unedited transcription of our exchange, and It's interesting to come back to his messages, his ad update (which I didn't read), and then his post deletion. Weird.

I'm glad my friend didn't end up getting the bike from him.

[Joe Bernard]

All that purple prose to flip a bike he must have gotten on the cheap, and we got a lecture about how one on Ebay went for $4k so this was a deal! So uncool. 

[Luke Hendrickson]

Agreed.

[Eric Marth]

Tags: Rumpled, crumpled, dimpled, cracked, caked, bent, indented, inverted, squiggly, wiggly, touched-up, touch up, mustard, steel is real, steel is really bent, accident, tire marks, bent, bends, bendy. 

It's interesting how the original ad copy raised a flag for several readers here (myself included) before we knew where this was headed. Thanks Matthew for sharing images of the bike in its mangled state. 

That identifying blemish near the crown of the left fork is the clincher, as if there were any doubt. 

[Eric Marth]

I love my Appaloosa and all but the all-caps throttle of WHAT OEN SOLD FOR ON EBAY is too much. All this copy and no build list? 

Matthew, should have said so sooner, but I'm sorry you received a bike in this state and for the agony, annoyance and trauma of having to sort it all out. 

[Mr. Ray]

Question for the frame building experts.  Obviously the damaged frame wasn't repaired by replacing the bent tubes with new tubes etc...  So, what method was used to straighten the bent tubes and re-align the frame?  Had the frame been properly fixed by replacing the damaged tubes from the lugs and then repainted (i.e a different color) this thread wouldn't exist. 

[Patrick Moore]

Late to this rather fascinating discussion. Oh no, that was no unintentional oversight, that was a conscience in poor working order. I have to credit the seller though for the quality of his purple prose; he could get a good job in marketing, not just for the writing but for the spin and the magnificent keyword list.

More seriously, what a bad fate for such a pretty bike.

On Mon, Dec 5, 2022 at 7:48 PM 'Scott Luly' via RBW Owners Bunch <rbw-owne...@googlegroups.com> wrote:

... Maybe it was an unintentional oversight, but the ad language seemed to preempt more to come. My antenna went up, anyways.