New tune "Clouds of Despair"

[Micah Sommersmith]

Hello friends,

It has been a while since I've written any shape note music, but I woke up yesterday morning with musical ideas and ended up with this new tune and text.

I wrote the tune with no text in mind (well, with "Amazing Grace" as a placeholder), which is unusual for me. After a draft of the tune was completed, I found myself wanting to write a new text as well. The text was very much written with the current global situation in mind, although it is also hopefully broad enough that once this current situation is behind us (praise the Lord!), it might still feel relevant. I was influenced by the chiastic structure common in many religious texts, with the first verse moving from hope to despair, and the second from despair back to hope:

Great God, who watchest over all

And keepest us from harm:

Hast thou not heard our mournful call?

Wilt thou not stretch thine arm?

Clouds of despair engulf the skies

And darken all our days.

But still we lift our hopeful eyes

To seek the sun's bright rays.

I would welcome any and all comments on either the text or the tune. I am wondering about two things in particular:

1. I don't love the title "Clouds of Despair." Often I will use a street or city name or other arbitrary title, but I wanted a title that, like the text, spoke to the current situation and its emotional complexity. "Pandemic" or "Quarantine" felt too on-the-nose, "Hope Amid Despair" or similar felt too unwieldy. Any suggestions would be welcome.

2. I'm not sure about the archaic second-person language ("watchest", "wilt thou", etc). Does it help place this text among the company of the familiar texts we are used to singing, or does it come off as an unnecessary affectation?

Be well and keep singing,

Micah

[Will Fitzgerald]

Perhaps “Wuhan” ?

--

Will

On May 3, 2020, at 10:17 AM, Micah Sommersmith <micah...@gmail.com> wrote:



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<Clouds_of_Despair.pdf>

[R. C. Webber]

Regarding the Elizabethan language, I have no objection but recognize that others, particularly those of the younger generation, may see things differently.  Though I normally use a Greek NT, I am familiar with the KJV, have read several of Shakespeare's plays, and have translated the Edwardian marriage liturgy (the precursor of the standard Protestant religious service) into contemporary English.  More specific to fasola, the Elizabethan language is a component of numerous hymn texts, so your use of that idiom is within the parameters of the tradition.

I thought the fuging section could use some tweaking.  However, the musical setting of the final phrase was excellent.  I hope you will keep that as it is when you tweak the rest.  I will provide a 3rd verse (which may betray my interest in funerals, the subject of my latest book):

Great God of all, incline thine ear.

Preserve us through our test.

In death's dark vale, relieve our fear,

And grant eternal rest.

Randy

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[Micah Sommersmith]

Hello Randy,

Thanks for your comments. Can you be more specific about what in the fuging section you think needs work?

Micah

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[Father Boniface]

Hello, Micah!

I enjoyed reading through your new song. If you have not yet decided on a title, consider this line from the text: We Lift Our Hopeful Eyes. Also, if I may humbly submit, regarding the style of the language: I think "Thou" requires and -st or -est ending (as you have in Hast thou, watchest, and keepest). Thou willst, or willest.

All the best of health to you!

Fr. Boniface

[Will Fitzgerald]

As an auxiliary, WILL for THOU is WILT. 

For example, 

Isaiah 26:3 3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Even as a main verb, KJV uses WILT. 

--

Will

On May 4, 2020, at 12:21 AM, Father Boniface <htmboni...@gmail.com> wrote:



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