SortaTV: Columbia House closes

[Bob Jersey]

The one-time-CBS-run direct-mail seller, first of recorded music and later video, tried to keep up with progress in those merchandising areas, transitioning to online operations in the 1990s before part-selling itself to Time Warner... it would change hands multiple times in the 2000s, ending up with Filmed Entertainment Inc. which announced it's going Chapter 11 this week.

RAINNews (link)

At least one of my brothers fell for those 11-albums/tapes-for-a-penny deals back in the day...

B

[Doug Eastick]

Ditto on the brother comment.

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[Tom Wolper]

On Thu, Aug 13, 2015 at 7:09 PM, Doug Eastick <eas...@mcd.on.ca> wrote:

Ditto on the brother comment.

Same here, back when it was LPs.

 

[Pete Ahles]

I never really understood the hatred for the Columbia House deals.

I got the 10 CDs for a penny. Bought the required 5 more at regular price, then canceled.

Pete

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[PGage]

On Thu, Aug 13, 2015 at 7:07 PM, Pete Ahles <pete....@gmail.com> wrote:

I never really understood the hatred for the Columbia House deals.

I got the 10 CDs for a penny. Bought the required 5 more at regular price, then canceled.

Me too. I thought it was great (not CD's in my day, tapes). 

[Melissa P]

Me, too.

 

I do believe I still have some of the LPs in storage.

[Joe Hass]

In the summer of 1978, I was four-and-a-half, my brother was almost three, and my mom was pregnant with my sister (who would wind up being born December 26). We lived in a ranch with no central air, so my mom was miserable as she was watching the two of us.

One day, I came running into the house. I was screaming. "MY TAPES ARE HERE! MY TAPES ARE HERE!" I dropped on the kitchen table a box. My mother, wondering what exactly I was screaming at, came over to look at the box while I ran to get scissors.

"Joey? What's going on, sweetie?"

"MY TAPES! MY TAPES ARE HERE!"

"What tapes?"

At this point, I had cut through the tape. Inside were 11 eight-track tapes and a portable radio. My mom looked at the outside of the box. It was, indeed, addressed to Joey Hass, 5092 Tyler Dr, Troy, MI 48098.

"Joey, how did you get these?"

Still excited at my haul, I spoke fast. "I saw this ad, and it said that I could get 11 records or tapes for just one penny, and I'd get a free transistor radio. So I filled out the postcard and taped the penny and now my tapes are here."

My mother slumped over. Indeed, the tapes and the radio came from our good friends at Columbia House. She grabbed the box.

"You can't play with these right now."

"Why not? They're mine! I bought them! And the best part is I get to keep the radio!"

"What?"

"The ad said that even if I didn't want to keep the tapes, I could keep the radio!"

My mother suddenly realized that her four-and-a-half year-old son had just scammed Columbia House out of a radio.

"We're going to put them up on the refrigerator until your dad gets home."

This disturbed me greatly. I had paid the penny. I wanted the tapes. And I most certainly wanted the radio.

"MOM?" I whined.

"No. Go outside." This was the last thing I wanted to do*. I don't remember how my mom forced me out of the house, but she did. She called my dad and told him everything that happened.

When my dad got home, I greeted him at the door and renewed my enthusiasm that I had managed to get 11 tapes for a penny plus a radio. "Your mom and I have to talk about that."

They went into their bedroom to conference. After dinner, they sat me down at the kitchen table. The box teased me on top of the refrigerator.

"Joey," she said, "honey, you can't keep any of this. We're sending it all back."

"Except the radio." I replied.

"No. Including the radio."

"But I can keep the radio! They said that even if I sent back the tapes, I could keep the radio!"

My dad stepped in. "It all has to go back. You're not old enough to buy things through the mail."

Now I was furious. I played by the damn rules, and now my parents were going to screw me out of the one thing that I richly earned. "THIS IS SO UNFAIR! IT SAID I COULD KEEP THE RADIO! LET ME KEEP THE RADIO!"

"No, Joey. You can't keep any of it." Mom was firm. I was not going to win this. I went through everything, and got nothing. I headed to my bedroom in full rage. I would not come out the rest of the night.

My mom wrote a terse note in the box, informing them they had just sent these tapes to a four-year-old, they were sending it all back, and if they sent anything else, they'd keep it. It was taped up and my dad took it to the office to ship back. By the time I awoke the next morning, the box was gone.

To this day, it is my favorite story about myself. My best friends love it ("It never gets old, even after all these years."). It is my mom's favorite story about me, likely her favorite about all three of her kids, and probably in the top five of any story related to her at all. She will literally tell anyone who asks about it the story ("It's my favorite story about any kid and I've never even met you!", one of my sister's friends posted recently). She told me much later that it killed her to have to send the radio back, but she knew if she let me keep it, Pandora's Box would be open.

Farewell, Columbia House.

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[K.M. Richards]

I was a member of Columbia House (I think it was called Columbia Record and Tape Club when I joined, which would give you some idea of how close I am age-wise to the dinosaurs) and also of RCA's (later BMG) similar club, which had product from some labels Columbia didn't ... and vice versa ...

What I found them useful for was the "various artists" compilations which never seemed to be in stock at the local retailers I frequented (surprisingly, not even at the once-mighty Wherehouse), so I remained on their member list for many years after fulfilling the required purchases.

BMG went away in 2005 after being bought by Columbia House and merged into it, but I had cancelled with them in the late 1980s as their offerings became less and less desirable (they moved away from compilations and greatest hits albums and toward more current stuff, so there came a point where it was pointless, pun intended).  I stuck with Columbia until somewhere around 1992 or 1993, when I had repurchased on CD everything I wanted to keep as an upgrade from vinyl.  By that time, the little catalog that accompanied the order card had a DVD section in the back.

These days, if I want something on CD or DVD I look at Half.com first.

[Bob Jersey]

At what age, Joe, were you finally able to have a portable radio?

B

[Joe Hass]

I believe I finally owned my own radio, given as a Christmas gift, at age 8.

On Fri, Aug 14, 2015 at 9:41 PM Bob Jersey <bob.in...@juno.com> wrote:

At what age, Joe, were you finally able to have a portable radio?

B

[Bob Jersey]

Joe Hass, to moi:

I believe I finally owned my own radio, given as a Christmas gift, at age 8.

Lucky guy... mine didn't come till at least my tenth b-day.

B

[Kevin M.]

I was given a clock radio that only had an AM dial when I was 6. I had to go into my sister's room to listen to Dr Demento.

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[David Bruggeman]

I was listening to my first AM radio when I was about five - I think it might have been given to me in connection with a hospital stay (tonsils).  AM only, like Kevin's, and it was the way I found out Elvis had passed (though I didn't know him from Anne Murray at the time).

David

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From: Bob Jersey <bob.in...@juno.com>
To: TVorNotTV <tvor...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 16, 2015 6:57 PM
Subject: Re: [TV orNotTV] SortaTV: Columbia House closes

[PGage]

On Sun, Aug 16, 2015 at 6:08 PM, 'David Bruggeman' via TVorNotTV <tvor...@googlegroups.com> wrote:

I was listening to my first AM radio when I was about five - I think it might have been given to me in connection with a hospital stay (tonsils).  AM only, like Kevin's, and it was the way I found out Elvis had passed (though I didn't know him from Anne Murray at the time).

I, and every boy I knew at the time, had a transistor radio by the time I was in second grade. Consistent with the mythology of the age, I went to sleep listening to either Vin Scully describe baseball games or Chick Hearn paint his word pictures of basketball games (I also listened to music on that thing during the day sometimes, but that was incidental for me until I hit junior high school). I also stereotypically brought my transistor radio to school to listen to the World Series on ear plugs (sans knowledge of my mother). I also, again like the majority of boys in my class, got a crystal radio kit, but that was mostly a disappointing experience in my case.