DO YOU REMEBER THE MAGIC OF YOUR FIRST KISS??????
We are a group of G/L/B college students that are attmepting to collect stories
for an anthology.
First Kiss is going to be a collection of people's
First Kiss stories, but with a what we believe is an interesting and unique
twist. We want stories of the first time you kissed someone of the same
gender. As members of the G/L/B community our primary concern is with
representing the community in a positive light, raising money for charity, and
also providing a forum for YOU to share your story.
INTERESTED? WANT TO KNOW MORE?
GO TO----> http://members.aol.com/lilraver/AOLPRESS.FirstKiss1.html
Thanks for your time and sorry if this was an intrusion.
The Staff of First Kiss
That...@aol.com
First Kiss Copyright 1998
http://members.aol.com/lilraver/AOLPRESS.FirstKiss1.html
> First Kiss is going to be a collection of people's
> First Kiss stories, but with a what we believe is an interesting and unique
> twist. We want stories of the first time you kissed someone of the same
> gender. As members of the G/L/B community our primary concern is with
> representing the community in a positive light [snip]
I don't know about representing the community (whatever that is) is a
good light. My first kiss with a woman was so damn terrifying that I
had to go away and throw up afterwards. this could have been due to
the vast amount of alcohol I had consumed in order to make myself
brave enough to do it.
If I hadn't had almost exactly the same experience when I first kissed
a guy I might have decided I was straight... thank gods things have
looked up a hell of a lot since then.
--
Purple Rabbits
also at http://www.hedonism.demon.co.uk/rabbits/
Crap wannafucks will be publicly pilloried on my Web pages
Actively Seeking Work - has anybody got a job?
> that...@aol.com (ThatKiss) writes:
>
> I don't know about representing the community (whatever that is) is a
> good light. My first kiss with a woman was so damn terrifying that I
> had to go away and throw up afterwards.
Same here ... my first kiss made me pretty ill too. And since I was still
a Good Little Catholic Boy(tm) (ie really good at self-administration of
guilt trips) (no offense to Catholics) I nearly threw up afterwards too.
And I was sober.
Maybe we could share our first *good* kiss story ...
Darren
Wowsers...
My first MOTOS kiss made me feel rather ill, as a sweet innocent
li'l 16 year old, but by the time I got around to my first MOTSS kiss,
(a bit older 'n that!) I had managed to put my catholic guilt enough
behind me to enjoy myself. The backlash didn't kick in for a coupla'
days, at least :)
-bitty, who firmly believes that all first kisses should be amazing,
happy things, generally not in airports.
--
Bethany "Bitty" Ramirez http://www.amherst.edu/~bkramire/menu.html
GO/MU -d+@ -p+ c+++ l u+ e* m++(---)(*) s-/+ n--- h*(+) f g+ w++ t r x+(*)
"She's a woman, not a gumball machine!" - _Friends_
"Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise" _Cat's Eye_
> Whilst procrastinating, Darren shared:
> > Same here ... my first kiss made me pretty ill too. And since I was still
> > a Good Little Catholic Boy(tm) (ie really good at self-administration of
> > guilt trips) (no offense to Catholics) I nearly threw up afterwards too.
>
> Wowsers...
> My first MOTOS kiss made me feel rather ill, as a sweet innocent
> li'l 16 year old, but by the time I got around to my first MOTSS kiss,
> (a bit older 'n that!) I had managed to put my catholic guilt enough
> behind me to enjoy myself. The backlash didn't kick in for a coupla'
> days, at least :)
Wow. I'm so glad I had a non-religious upbringing and
was never innocent. My first MOTOS kiss, beyond some
childish lipsmackin', was out-of-this-world *amazing*.
My first MOTSS kiss couldn't possibly have matched it,
since it was essentially the same activity with more
stubble, but the whole shebang (well, hebang) that followed
it was similarly earth-shattering.
Just lucky, I guess.
--
Andrew D. Simchik: wy...@bi.org
http://www.bi.org/~wyrd/
Andrew--
Actually, I suspect your reaction is more the norm
(especially if he was the MOTSS you kissed! Or would that be
more OF Norm?!). I recall this was the way it happened for
me a few decades ago. With both sexes/genders/whatevers. I
never paid much attention to all that religious stuff they
tried to teach me. I guess you could tag me a former Bad
Baptist Boy! Maybe that's why I'm a pagan now!
Charlie
>Wow. I'm so glad I had a non-religious upbringing and
>was never innocent. My first MOTOS kiss, beyond some
I dunno, I kinda miss being innocent sometimes, yknow?
>childish lipsmackin',
bump teeth?
>was out-of-this-world *amazing*.
WOW. i dont consider kissing to be amazing in the first place,
never mind my first...
>My first MOTSS kiss couldn't possibly have matched it,
>since it was essentially the same activity with more
>stubble,
*giggle* I *LIKE* kissing stubble! (hi colin!)
>but the whole shebang (well, hebang) that followed
ROFLMFFAO :) (He-Man, She-Ra, had a He-Bang?)
>it was similarly earth-shattering.
wow. i dont think i'd ever describe any of it as earthshattering.
this a sex thing? (ie, is it a male versus female thing?)
>Just lucky, I guess.
THPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPT 8P
> From: "Andrew D. Simchik" <schn...@roundtable.cif.rochester.edu>
>
> >Wow. I'm so glad I had a non-religious upbringing and
> >was never innocent. My first MOTOS kiss, beyond some
>
> I dunno, I kinda miss being innocent sometimes, yknow?
I miss being innocent only because I wish to be corrupted anew.
> >childish lipsmackin',
>
> bump teeth?
No, miraculously. But it was one of those giggle giggle
okay we'll go into the closet and turn off the light
and try to get up the nerve to kiss giggle giggle.
> >was out-of-this-world *amazing*.
>
> WOW. i dont consider kissing to be amazing in the first place,
> never mind my first...
It's not all it's cracked up to be, but when it is good
it is very very good. This weekend it was very very good.
> >My first MOTSS kiss couldn't possibly have matched it,
> >since it was essentially the same activity with more
> >stubble,
>
> *giggle* I *LIKE* kissing stubble!
I'm coming to see its merits.
> (hi colin!)
That name came to mind, but of course dear sweet Colin's
was hardly the first stubble I kissed.
> >but the whole shebang (well, hebang) that followed
>
> ROFLMFFAO :) (He-Man, She-Ra, had a He-Bang?)
I was a He-Man junkie as a kid, of course. And She-Ra, to
a lesser extent. And GI Joe and Transformers. Dinosaurs,
snakes, bugs. Toy guns and video games.
Is it just me, or did growing up as a boy use to be more fun?
> >it was similarly earth-shattering.
>
> wow. i dont think i'd ever describe any of it as earthshattering.
It's true. Why do you think California has so many
earthquakes, and Kansas so few?
> this a sex thing? (ie, is it a male versus female thing?)
It's a hyperbole thing. Plus I am unquestionably more
oversexed than thou.
RedundantObBi: saw Chasing Amy for the first time last night.
Still making up my mind about it.
Ain't that the truth. <sigh>
>> >it was similarly earth-shattering.
>>
>> wow. i dont think i'd ever describe any of it as earthshattering.
>> this a sex thing? (ie, is it a male versus female thing?)
>
>It's a hyperbole thing. Plus I am unquestionably more
>oversexed than thou.
Oh, I don't know. There have been times when earthshattering really hasn't
been that much of a stretch from how that kiss -- or that sex -- has felt.
(I remember the first time I kissed C; I'd been trying to work up the
chutzpah for months, and I think the recent purchase of a good black leather
biker jacket gave me just enough of that butch swagger bravado to approach
such an astonishing woman. (Being a shy butch-in-training really sucks, in
some ways. But it seems to be in the wiring, so I've just got to struggle on
through.) When my lips touched hers for the first time, I
was lost in all that wonderful peach-scented softness, and almost
collapsed. I couldn't think straight, er, that is, I couldn't get my brain
to function at all normally for hours. And while I'm sure that being crazy
in love with her helped, that perfect alchemical combination of lips and
teeth -- well, it seems to be an empirically corroborable(sp?) experience. <g>
>RedundantObBi: saw Chasing Amy for the first time last night.
>Still making up my mind about it.
I really like Kevin Smith -- _clerks_ was brill, _mallrats_ was seventeen
times better than I would have expected possible in a movie starring shannen
doherty, and most of _chasing amy_ was great. But the last half-hour made me
want to hurl, and I walked out of the theater thinking "I've lived that, and
I didn't need to relive it."
Jeliza,
who is going to go back to work now, really.
--
Jeliza Patterson, valk...@cmu.edu
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~valkyrie/
"I went out for the football team to prove that I'm a man
I guess I shouldn't tell them that I like Duran Duran" -- Barenaked Ladies
> In article <Pine.BSF.3.96.98021...@roundtable.cif.rochester.edu>,
> Andrew D. Simchik <schn...@roundtable.cif.rochester.edu> wrote:
>
> >RedundantObBi: saw Chasing Amy for the first time last night.
> >Still making up my mind about it.
>
> I really like Kevin Smith -- _clerks_ was brill, _mallrats_ was seventeen
> times better than I would have expected possible in a movie starring shannen
> doherty, and most of _chasing amy_ was great. But the last half-hour made me
> want to hurl, and I walked out of the theater thinking "I've lived that, and
> I didn't need to relive it."
I enjoyed CLERKS and haven't seen MALLRATS yet.
As for CHASING FLAMEY, I liked parts of it an awful
lot. That bit at the end, the "one year later" moments,
actually got my eyes wet, and I *never* cry at movies.
I thought some of it was pretty clever, and I always
love Jay and Silent Bob (I have the hots for Jay,
inexplicably), who have a vibrant authenticity about
them some of the other characters sometimes lack. We
made fun of Joey Lauren Adams all the way through, of
course (a few Victoria Jackson comparisons, but usually
it was Jewel, and we punctuated her lines with "yodel-
lay-hee-hoo!"), though I thought she did a pretty decent
job, when she wasn't being totally cute 'n' clever or
screaming too loudly for too long. The indulgent pop-culture/
sex dialogues were fun but often predictable or didactic.
Jason Lee was great, Ben Affleck was pretty good, and
of course I loved Hooper despite his Queen Oracle stereotype.
The whole threesome thing was pretty painful in every sense.
Hmmm...what else do I want to say? Oh, yes: my favorite
line was "Archie is *not* fucking Mr. Weatherbee!" It
was doubly funny because Margaret (Banky) and I (Hooper)
are always having those conversations in just the same tones
of voice.
On 7 Feb 1998, Bethany wrote:
> Wowsers...
> My first MOTOS kiss made me feel rather ill, as a sweet innocent
> li'l 16 year old, but by the time I got around to my first MOTSS kiss,
> (a bit older 'n that!) I had managed to put my catholic guilt enough
> behind me to enjoy myself. The backlash didn't kick in for a coupla'
> days, at least :)
>
>
> -bitty, who firmly believes that all first kisses should be amazing,
> happy things, generally not in airports.
My first MOTSS kiss was when I was 19, and it was an amazing, happy thing,
but it was also at about 4 in the morning toward the end of a very long
party (before I started drinking). My first MOTOS kiss was when I was 20
(wait, I'm still 20!), and it was only midnight, and it was so-so.
Neither was anywhere near an airport.
dEm
"Stumbling through life can be beautiful." - Aaron P., 1997
4 in teh morning? aieeeeeeeeeeee.
> Neither was anywhere near an airport.
*giggle* Well, let's start a sub-thread: people's first kiss
locations. And then, alternatively, peiople's favorite kiss location.
(Note: I was *not* the airport one.)
-bitty, who could prolly even dig up the date of her first kiss if
motivated. (which i'm not)
Now THERE'S something I hadn't thought about...
I knew someone once who claimed that if you went 7 years without,
you were a born-again virgin. 'Course, he claimed he was a born-again
virgin at age 19, which made some of us skeptical.
:It's not all it's cracked up to be, but when it is good
:it is very very good. This weekend it was very very good.
*curious, nosey look*
> *giggle* I *LIKE* kissing stubble!
:I'm coming to see its merits.
having one's back scratched with scruff is infinitely more
satisfying than a brush.
> ROFLMFFAO :) (He-Man, She-Ra, had a He-Bang?)
:I was a He-Man junkie as a kid, of course. And She-Ra, to
:a lesser extent. And GI Joe and Transformers. Dinosaurs,
:snakes, bugs. Toy guns and video games.
my mom didn't let me play with my brother's toys :(
now, the ultimate test in coolness: VOLTRON :)
:Is it just me, or did growing up as a boy use to be more fun?
i think growing up used to be more fun, but teh toys these days
kick more ass technology wise. we were merely more creative. and had
better looking action heroes (luke! han!).
> wow. i dont think i'd ever describe any of it as earthshattering.
:It's true. Why do you think California has so many
:earthquakes, and Kansas so few?
well, massachusetts scores a big fat zero, eh?
:It's a hyperbole thing. Plus I am unquestionably more
:oversexed than thou.
*choke* um, i doubt it. *blushes furiously*
>bitty, who could prolly even dig up the date of her first kiss if
>motivated. (which i'm not)
Bitty, it's bad enough murdering your date. Do you
have to unearth the bones as well?
--Misha, whose first kisses probably don't count
"I'm confused. Is this a happy ending or a sad ending?"
"It's an ending. That's good enough."
> Maybe we could share our first *good* kiss story ...
nah, it would embarass someone who used to read this group ;)
(is kissing bisexuals better than kissing str8 men?)
>(is kissing bisexuals better than kissing str8 men?)
But kissing str8 men is such fun!
--Misha
"Pull off the road."
"I can't, silly, it's stuck to the ground."
> From: "Andrew D. Simchik" <schn...@roundtable.cif.rochester.edu>
>
> :It's not all it's cracked up to be, but when it is good
> :it is very very good. This weekend it was very very good.
>
> *curious, nosey look*
Ask Xaos.
Hmmm, maybe I should clarify that. I *did* have some
serious fun (well, from my POV; I'm not sure he agreed,
though he said I did great for my first real bottoming
(the vanilla kind, though it sure didn't feel vanilla))
with a guy I met online this weekend. It wasn't Xaos,
though (darn).
> > ROFLMFFAO :) (He-Man, She-Ra, had a He-Bang?)
> :I was a He-Man junkie as a kid, of course. And She-Ra, to
> :a lesser extent. And GI Joe and Transformers. Dinosaurs,
> :snakes, bugs. Toy guns and video games.
>
> my mom didn't let me play with my brother's toys :(
Sucks. I got to play with my neighbor's Barbies.
> now, the ultimate test in coolness: VOLTRON :)
Hello? *G-Force*, dude.
> :Is it just me, or did growing up as a boy use to be more fun?
>
> i think growing up used to be more fun, but teh toys these days
> kick more ass technology wise. we were merely more creative. and had
> better looking action heroes (luke! han!).
It's true that Transformers seem to work better now
in a lot of ways.
> > wow. i dont think i'd ever describe any of it as earthshattering.
> :It's true. Why do you think California has so many
> :earthquakes, and Kansas so few?
>
> well, massachusetts scores a big fat zero, eh?
You said it, not me. :P
Nah, you can't take this one too far.
> :It's a hyperbole thing. Plus I am unquestionably more
> :oversexed than thou.
>
> *choke* um, i doubt it. *blushes furiously*
Oh, so you wanna have a contest now?
You're playing with fire, little girl.
As if mere facts would stop you
- Steve, letting my bitterness shine through
> Sucks. I got to play with my neighbor's Barbies.
you can have all mine, if you'd like.
> > now, the ultimate test in coolness: VOLTRON :)
> Hello? *G-Force*, dude.
VOLTRON!
> It's true that Transformers seem to work better now
> in a lot of ways.
i DONT want to know how you used them.
> > :oversexed than thou.
> > *choke* um, i doubt it. *blushes furiously*
> Oh, so you wanna have a contest now?
*smiles innocently*
> You're playing with fire, little girl.
one thing i'm NOT is little. short, yes. little, no.
>(is kissing bisexuals better than kissing str8 men?)
>
>--
>Bethany "Bitty" Ramirez http://www.amherst.edu/~bkramire/menu.html
> GO/MU -d+@ -p+ c+++ l u+ e* m++(---)(*) s-/+ n--- h*(+) f g+ w++ t r x+(*)
> "She's a woman, not a gumball machine!" - _Friends_
>"Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise" _Cat's Eye_
yes, I think so.
Vicky
*******
Hussies r us...
> Whilst procrastinating, Andrew D. Simchik shared:
>
> > Sucks. I got to play with my neighbor's Barbies.
>
> you can have all mine, if you'd like.
That's okay. I didn't much like them then, either.
> > > now, the ultimate test in coolness: VOLTRON :)
> > Hello? *G-Force*, dude.
>
> VOLTRON!
The Phoenix could kick Voltron's ass.
> > It's true that Transformers seem to work better now
> > in a lot of ways.
>
> i DONT want to know how you used them.
It's the GI Joes you should fear. Funny how they
always ended up wrestling.
> RedundantObBi: saw Chasing Amy for the first time last night.
> Still making up my mind about it.
Well, I happen to own a Justice League of America jacket
like the one what made a brief appearance in said film...
Not that that ought to make any whit of difference in your
opinion of it.
Eric Siegel ejsi...@ucdavis.edu |
Dept. of Political Science |
Univ. of California, Davis | If one takes no prisoners,
One Shields Avenue | there is no dilemma.
Davis CA 95616 |
(530) 752-7106 |
Yeah, it got me, too (although I do tear up at flicks from
time to time; the end of _Silent Running_ *still* gets me,
and I've seen it about a dozen times.)
> screaming too loudly for too long. The indulgent pop-culture/
> sex dialogues were fun but often predictable or didactic.
The cunnilingus injury discussion was a hoot, I thought.
> Jason Lee was great, Ben Affleck was pretty good, and
> of course I loved Hooper despite his Queen Oracle stereotype.
"OOh! Yanni!" had me rolling for, like, an hour. I still
laugh just thinking about it.
> though he said I did great for my first real bottoming
> (the vanilla kind, though it sure didn't feel vanilla)
Um. Vanilla bottoming?
Is this a boy thing, or should I know what you're talking about?
> > now, the ultimate test in coolness: VOLTRON :)
> Hello? *G-Force*, dude.
*swoon* Drew, you just won my heart.
G-Force is, like, my all-time favorite cartoon, ever.
> You're playing with fire, little girl.
Ah, Drew, you're so domly.
sevoooooooo
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
> Hmmm, maybe I should clarify that. I *did* have some
> serious fun (well, from my POV; I'm not sure he agreed,
> though he said I did great for my first real bottoming
> (the vanilla kind, though it sure didn't feel vanilla))
I think that's called Hot Fudge, dearheart.
--Kathryn, wondering if congratulations would be proper
If there's anything more predictable than a boy, I haven't met it.
--Blossom Culp
> In article
> <Pine.BSF.3.96.98021...@roundtable.cif.rochester.edu>,
> Andrew D. Simchik <schn...@roundtable.cif.rochester.edu> wrote:
> >
> >It's the GI Joes you should fear. Funny how they
> >always ended up wrestling.
>
> Ah, GI Joe. I'm getting sick of all these newfangled
> hypertechnological toys that keep getting announced. Does a child
> really need a doll with scanners for eyes that runs Quicken for
> Barbie?
In my day, we had "Chinese" jacks and *loved* 'em.
> Drew wrote, in response to Bitty:
>
> > though he said I did great for my first real bottoming
> > (the vanilla kind, though it sure didn't feel vanilla)
>
> Um. Vanilla bottoming?
> Is this a boy thing, or should I know what you're talking about?
Let me try this another way:
I got fucked up the ass for an extended period
of time by a real live dick for the first time in
my life apart from a brief first attempt some
time ago that failed miserably.
So much for coyness.
> > Hello? *G-Force*, dude.
>
> *swoon* Drew, you just won my heart.
> G-Force is, like, my all-time favorite cartoon, ever.
I doubt I could watch it now -- I can't watch
Jonny Quest anymore, either, despite its symbolic
appeal -- but did I ever love it at the time.
Is it my favorite? Not with Dangermouse as competition.
Not to mention Ren & Stimpy, South Park, and the Simpsons.
Did I frequently ask my wristwatch to "Transmute"? Do
those bears...sha la la la...in the woods?
> > You're playing with fire, little girl.
>
> Ah, Drew, you're so domly.
I think I'd make a decent top.
> On Wed, 11 Feb 1998, Andrew D. Simchik wrote:
>
> > Hmmm, maybe I should clarify that. I *did* have some
> > serious fun (well, from my POV; I'm not sure he agreed,
> > though he said I did great for my first real bottoming
> > (the vanilla kind, though it sure didn't feel vanilla))
>
> I think that's called Hot Fudge, dearheart.
Insert cherry joke here.
> --Kathryn, wondering if congratulations would be proper
Not as proper as seconds...
> If there's anything more predictable than a boy, I haven't met it.
> --Blossom Culp
...guess who *still* hasn't e-mailed me?
<sigh>
*MEN*.
Well?
- Steve, waiting impatiently, hoping Drew arrives before the Nutella
dries into that nasty, Mr. Hankie-like crust
He came to the area recently, so there's all sorts of posters and whatever around. When I
was buying blak tapes today, I saw a life-size display and clapping my hands saying
"Yanni! Yanni!" No one got it though :(
>
>
> Eric Siegel ejsi...@ucdavis.edu |
> Dept. of Political Science |
> Univ. of California, Davis | If one takes no prisoners,
> One Shields Avenue | there is no dilemma.
> Davis CA 95616 |
> (530) 752-7106 |
--
"If free I can be, I will;
if suffer I must, I can." "Fuck virginity!"
-William Faulkner (Absolom! Absolom!) -Jennifer Solomon
"The tao is everywhere. It's in the
sky, it's in this desk, it's in my "Never eat
shoes, but mostly it's in yourself." more than you can lift."
-Lisa Furukawa -Miss Piggy
Aaron Pinkston
stil...@myself.com
> But kissing str8 men is such fun!
No, not really. *wrinkles nose*
> It's the GI Joes you should fear. Funny how they
> always ended up wrestling.
Yes, well, Barbies can at least end up naked, or wearing Ken's
clothing. You can't really do that with GI Joe.
Well, yes! I mean, Barbie thinks math is hard and can't possibly
do things on her own, so she needs all the built-in help she can get!
HA!
Actually, a few of them aren't bad, if you can
get them to really give it a shot. ;-P
--Joe
------------------
Joe (joe @ polychromatic.com ; joe @ bi.org)
essays on poly & bi: http://bi.org/~joe/
poly book reviews: http://www.polychromatic.com/
------------------
>>Yes, well, Barbies can at least end up naked, or wearing Ken's
>>clothing. You can't really do that with GI Joe.
You could with the old ones, before they
miniaturized them.
--Misha, reminding them young whippersnappers of
the Golden Age of civilization, circa 1970.
father: Perhaps we should have shown him more love and affection.
mother: More brute force, if you ask me, dear. Like we did with Nigel.
father: Nigel died.
mother: Yes, but think what he'd have been like if he'd lived.
>Whilst procrastinating, Misha MCM shared:
>> But kissing str8 men is such fun!
> No, not really. *wrinkles nose*
You just picked the wrong one.
--Misha
Any idiot can face a crisis -- it's this day-to-day living that wears you out.
> *MEN*.
*second the <sigh>*
> You just picked the wrong one.
There's a *right* one?
*shudder*
I'll stay a dyke, TYVM.
*third*
> Whilst procrastinating, Cheryl Trooskin shared:
> > Ah, Drew, you're so domly.
>
> HA!
And how would you know?
> Whilst procrastinating, Andrew D. Simchik shared:
>
> > It's the GI Joes you should fear. Funny how they
> > always ended up wrestling.
>
> Yes, well, Barbies can at least end up naked, or wearing Ken's
> clothing. You can't really do that with GI Joe.
With the *good* GI Joes you can (not those cheap plastic imitations
they made into a cartoon show).
Eric Siegel ejsi...@ucdavis.edu |
Dept. of Political Science | "Tiffany must never happen again"
Univ. of California, Davis | -- Andrew Simchik
One Shields Avenue |
On 11 Feb 1998, Bitty wrote:
> Whilst procrastinating, Darrell Manrique shared:
> > My first MOTSS kiss was when I was 19, and it was an amazing, happy thing,
> > but it was also at about 4 in the morning toward the end of a very long
>
> 4 in teh morning? aieeeeeeeeeeee.
Yes, and in an interesting cross-thread twist, Tori Amos' album Boys for
Pele was playing!
> > Neither was anywhere near an airport.
>
> *giggle* Well, let's start a sub-thread: people's first kiss
> locations. And then, alternatively, peiople's favorite kiss location.
> (Note: I was *not* the airport one.)
Well, all I'll say is that one was outside, and the other was was much
better.
dEm, already aware of the double meaning that will be read into my words
"Weird is part of the job." - Captain Janeway
> Yes, well, Barbies can at least end up naked, or wearing Ken's
>clothing. You can't really do that with GI Joe.
You certainly can with Action Man (the Britsh equivalent). A friend of
mine recently told me how dressing her favorite military commando in
her favourite lacy dresses was one of the joys of her childhood. As a
token bit of machoness, she let him keep his rifle though.
------------
0800-RICHARD : "I am not a man, I am a free number".
------------
On 10 Feb 1998, Bitty wrote:
> >but the whole shebang (well, hebang) that followed
>
> ROFLMFFAO :) (He-Man, She-Ra, had a He-Bang?)
Eew! They were brother and sister!! AAAAAAAGH!
dEm, wondering if he should really be admitting to knowing this...
"Stumbling through life can be beautiful." - Aaron P., 1997
Eric Siegel wrote:
> On 13 Feb 1998, Bitty wrote:
>
> > Whilst procrastinating, Andrew D. Simchik shared:
> >
> > > It's the GI Joes you should fear. Funny how they
> > > always ended up wrestling.
> >
> > Yes, well, Barbies can at least end up naked, or wearing Ken's
> > clothing. You can't really do that with GI Joe.
>
> With the *good* GI Joes you can (not those cheap plastic imitations
> they made into a cartoon show).
Please, don't date yourself too much ") i mean =)
>
>
> Eric Siegel ejsi...@ucdavis.edu |
> Dept. of Political Science | "Tiffany must never happen again"
> Univ. of California, Davis | -- Andrew Simchik
> One Shields Avenue |
> Davis CA 95616 |
> (530) 752-7106 |
yeah!! I like this one toooo.
> I knew someone once who claimed that if you went 7 years without,
> you were a born-again virgin.
I always heard it was six months. :) I guess we had to lower the
standards in the very Catholic part of Texas I lived in so that more
people could qualify and get in heaven or something.
> having one's back scratched with scruff is infinitely more
> satisfying than a brush.
I would have to agree.
> > wow. i dont think i'd ever describe any of it as earthshattering.
> :It's true. Why do you think California has so many
> :earthquakes, and Kansas so few?
>
> well, massachusetts scores a big fat zero, eh?
I don't know. So far I have scored - er - IT has scored quite well IMHO. :)
Of course, there is always room for improvement. So far it's been all guys ...
Darren, who relocated to Rhode Island from Texas about 6 months ago, and
made up for a year and a half of near-born again virginness rather quickly
once he got there (like the first weekend, yee-haw)
> I always heard it was six months. :) I guess we had to lower the
aieeee. well, i've still never been bron-again, by those
standards. thank goodness.
>> well, massachusetts scores a big fat zero, eh?
> I don't know. So far I have scored - er - IT has scored quite well IMHO. :)
> Darren, who relocated to Rhode Island from Texas about 6 months ago, and
> made up for a year and a half of near-born again virginness rather quickly
> once he got there (like the first weekend, yee-haw)
Yeah, I seem to have fond-enough memories of rhode island ;)
> Eew! They were brother and sister!! AAAAAAAGH!
Well, its a disgusting concept to begin with - why on earth would
the fact theyre theyre siblings actually make it any worse? the thought
cant GET any worse!
My first MOTSS kiss was -- electrifying. The person I wanted, wanted
me; I was dizzy with it. But I was familiar with that dizziness; the
new thing was that it was MOTSS, and I was scared and triumphant.
Fortunately, I thought, the other person knew what she was doing....
Of course, each of us had reason to be uncertain of our ground, and
each of us was proceeding in the comfortable belief that the other
person knew what she was doing. But we didn't know that.
I have vivid memories of the first time I kissed my husband *after*
I fell in love with him. I remember perfectly what it was like the
first time I kissed my fiancee -- but I mustn't embarrass her.
--
Dawn Friedman d...@world.std.com
~Arc
My first kiss was MOTSS -- it was a few years (er, three or four)
before the first MOTOS. Neither was particularly special, apart
from being "firsts" -- come to think of it, I can't really say
any kiss has been special for the sake of the kiss alone, it's
always the context that makes the difference.
--
\S -- si...@chiark.greenend.org.uk -- http://www.chaos.org.uk/~sion/
___ | "... intelligence in youth, for some reason or | 88% of clowns
\X/ | another, is bad for the hair and muddies the | never fall
<*> | complexion." -- Gonfal of Naimes | in love
>My first kiss was MOTSS -- it was a few years (er, three or four)
>before the first MOTOS. Neither was particularly special, apart
>from being "firsts" -- come to think of it, I can't really say
>any kiss has been special for the sake of the kiss alone, it's
>always the context that makes the difference.
My first *real* kiss - ie snog - was with a MOTSS too. I remember
it most vividly because he had just been drinking very fresh coffee
and tasted wonderful :-)
/Jon
--
______________________ ____ ______________________________________________
/ j...@serf.org __\_ / Remember together, remember forever /
/ http://serf.org/jon \ X/ Souviens-toi, ce jour-la, toi et moi /
/_______________________ \/ ______________________________________________/
OK, so how many people do I need to apologise to for that one?
A stronger sense of honesty than tact, when coupled with fuzzy
explanations, is a dangerous thing....
aaron pinkston <stil...@myself.com> wrote in article
<34E55A6A...@myself.com>...
>
>
> Eric Siegel wrote:
>
> > On 13 Feb 1998, Bitty wrote:
> >
> > > Whilst procrastinating, Andrew D. Simchik shared:
> > >
> > > > It's the GI Joes you should fear. Funny how they
> > > > always ended up wrestling.
> > >
> > > Yes, well, Barbies can at least end up naked, or wearing Ken's
> > > clothing. You can't really do that with GI Joe.
> >
> > With the *good* GI Joes you can (not those cheap plastic imitations
> > they made into a cartoon show).
>
> Please, don't date yourself too much ") i mean =)
At the risk of dating myself, GI Joe would always wind up with Ken doing
his bidding and I was convinced that the Six Million Dollar Man had
something going with the African American GI Joe Character, (sorry I know
he had a different name but I can't remember it) they always wound up
together in my toy box.
Jerre
Charlie fluffing the group while getting the Nutella out .
. .
They had a Six Million Dollar Man doll? When I saw it, I think it was all
reruns.
> had
> something going with the African American GI Joe Character, (sorry I know
> he had a different name but I can't remember it) they always wound up
> together in my toy box.
*The* African American GI Joe? Do you mean Roadblock or Alpine or someonelse?
Boy, a lot of people seem to be dating themselves around here. Is
anyone dating someone *not* themselves?
Eric Siegel ejsi...@ucdavis.edu |
Dept. of Political Scienc |
Univ. of California, Davis | "Tiffany must never happen again"
One Shields Avenue | -- Andrew Simchik
Later,
Kelly
--
You may not be aware of this, but I'm not working right. I need to be
repaired.
Kelly Carpenter wrote:
>My absolute first kiss was MOTOS, at 13. It had none of the
>details--such as getting someone else's lipstick smeared on my
>face--that made my first MOTSS kiss, two and a half years later, such a
>comical and enlightening experience. Although it was pretty funny,
>inasmuch as I couldn't think about it for weeks without wondering what
>the hell had possessed us both to do such a thing. Kiss somebody?
>Eeeuuuwww!
Well, then, if we're going for absolutes, my first MOTOS kisses were over a
decade before my first MOTSS one, because I had a girlfriend when I was in
kindergarten, and we'd always kiss on the lips. I don't remember anything
special about those kisses (thank the gods!), but I do remember there was a
girl in our class who was always grossed out by it, and said so.
But the MOTSS one when I was 19 was the one I'll always remember...
... and quite easy to read as insulting if you're a current or
former lover, or one of those friends who have, all things
considered, been very worthwhile kissing.
Ah, yes, the too-much-lipstick kiss. I hate that bit, actually. Maybe it
wouldn't be so bad if C and I had similar coloring and could wear the same
color lipstick, but we aren't. So my oh-so-subtle makeup job gets replaced
with exuberant smears with blue undertones that make me look consumptive,
yet messy. <sigh>. there must be a more acceptable solution to this than
just not to kiss her when her lipstick is on...
J
Properly powdered lipstick does not deposit itself on others.
>Ah, yes, the too-much-lipstick kiss. I hate that bit, actually. Maybe it
>wouldn't be so bad if C and I had similar coloring and could wear the same
>color lipstick, but we aren't.
No, that just leads to squables over who gets to wear your favourite
colour on those occasions when you don't want to look overly coupley.
The rows me and my girlfriend have had over Top Shop's 'Sultry' don't
bare thinking about.
>So my oh-so-subtle makeup job gets replaced
>with exuberant smears with blue undertones that make me look consumptive,
>yet messy. <sigh>. there must be a more acceptable solution to this than
>just not to kiss her when her lipstick is on...
Well there's allways paint on lip coats. Not the answer to everything,
but helps a little and is certainly better than not kissing.
------------
0800-RICHARD : "I am not a man, I am a free number".
------------
> Properly powdered lipstick does not deposit itself on others.
I always solved that dilemma by NOT WEARING LIPSTICK. :) then
again, i identify as butch. So lately I've been buying make-up for my
femme, only, I don't know how to apply it properly. *sigh* Alas, the
travails of an unemployed butch!
--
"Me fail English? That's unpossible." - Ralph Wiggum
"No, not butterflies!" - Oscar the Grouch
I don't like wearing makeup cos am lazy..but I don't think I am
butch....anyone who has met me care to comment? (or too chicken?)
Vicky
*******
Eins und eins dass macht zwei, und kuss und laechel dabei
Wenn dir auch manchmal zum heulen ist
Glucklich der wehr heute geniesst und wass vorbei ist vergisst
Es kommt wie es kommen muss, erst kommt der erste kuss
Dann kommt der letzte kuss, dann der schluss.
>I don't like wearing makeup cos am lazy..but I don't think I am
>butch....anyone who has met me care to comment? (or too chicken?)
I don't think you're butch at all. Quite femme, even without lipstick.
: YM "boyfriend." HTH.
no correction needed. I'm simply a femme, boyfriend.
HTH.
--
,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,
Arthur Prokosch, Brown University '00 (or so)
a...@pobox.com - http://www.pobox.com/~app
Oxymoron of the Moment: "Phone Service"
'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'
>
> On 23 Feb 1998 19:05:16 GMT, jel...@cs.cmu.edu (Jeliza Patterson)
> wrote:
>
> >Ah, yes, the too-much-lipstick kiss. I hate that bit, actually. Maybe it
> >wouldn't be so bad if C and I had similar coloring and could wear the same
> >color lipstick, but we aren't.
>
> No, that just leads to squables over who gets to wear your favourite
> colour on those occasions when you don't want to look overly coupley.
> The rows me and my girlfriend have had over Top Shop's 'Sultry' don't
> bare thinking about.
Answer to this is be a goth. All goths (around here, anyway) where
such similar shades of lipstick that no-one could complain about you
having the same as them. My make N!k told me the other day that he's
stopped wearing black because he now wears something call licorice -
which proves my point I think...
> Well there's allways paint on lip coats. Not the answer to everything,
Like the Middle East situation, for instance - I bet paint on lip
coats would be a crap answer to that (although not as crap as some
answers I've seen, come to think of it).
--
Purple Rabbits
also at http://www.hedonism.demon.co.uk/rabbits/
Crap wannafucks will be publicly pilloried on my Web pages
Actively Seeking Work - has anybody got a job?
> -Beth, wondering if she can restart two flamewars with one post
*starts smacking beth around for a little while*
> : femme, only, I don't know how to apply it properly.
> ^^^^^
> YM "boyfriend." HTH.
Well, *I'm* certainly not teh one wearing dresses in the
UnRelationship, now *am* I? *haughty sniff*
*glares up at beth*
*grumps*
> YM "boyfriend." HTH.
Placing gender labels, are we?
--
Bethany "Bitty" Ramirez http://www.amherst.edu/~bkramire/menu.html
GO/MU -d+@ -p+ c+++ l u+ e* m++(---)(*) s-/+ n--- h*(+) f g+ w++ t r x+(*)
"She's a woman, not a gumball machine!" - _Friends_
"Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise" _Cat's Eye_
It's certainly rare, but I think it is possible. There is a certain
beautiful man of my acquaintance who is clearly femme to my butch when he is
on my arm. (and occasionally mistaken for a female, if that helps.) Not only
does he *look* the part, but most of the behevioral cues are there. (See
_The Femme Mystique_ for elaboration thereof.) It's not just being nelly
either -- it is a fairly distinct behavior.
Or do I lose all credit in this discussion for being a butch who wears
makeup at times? (I want to be Dietrich (e.g. opening scenes of _Morocco_ )
when I grow up, without the whole "women are better than men, but you can't
*live* with a woman" problem.)
Jeliza, heading back to her homework now. B'fhe'idir.
Avoiding accuracy, are we?
--
Ellen Evans 17 Across: The "her" of "Leave Her to Heaven"
je...@netcom.com New York Times, 7/14/96
The other day me and my SO and I were walking through the grocery store and the
lady and the cheese stand said "excuse me gentlemen?" as we kept on walking we just
looked her way and I flopped my hand at her in acknowledgment. She wasn't
offended, but we just didn't want to try her cheese (even if it was free). I use
to get "ma'am" all the time when I had long hair. (etc other related stories...)
> Not only
> does he *look* the part, but most of the behevioral cues are there. (See
> _The Femme Mystique_ for elaboration thereof.) It's not just being nelly
> either -- it is a fairly distinct behavior.
How about the notion that "butch" and "femme" and even "masculine" and "feminine"
and the like are outdated words because they are only based on stereotypes that
don't necessarily hold true and only enforce these ideas of what we expect people
to act like. We can just as easily use other words to describe what we're talking
about. In music theory, how is one cadence a "feminine" cadence and the other is
"masculine?" It's because one is more direct and stronger. Well, couldn't we just
say so? (help me out here Sev)
> Jeliza, heading back to her homework now. B'fhe'idir.
I have a research paper due tomorrow that still needs some research :o
*happily listening to Gling Glo!*
--
"If free I can be, I will;
if suffer I must, I can." "Fuck virginity!"
-William Faulkner (Absolom! Absolom!) -Jennifer Solomon
Aaron Pinkston
stil...@myself.com
aaron pinkston <stil...@myself.com> wrote:
>How about the notion that "butch" and "femme" and even "masculine" and
>"feminine"
>and the like are outdated words because they are only based on stereotypes
>that
>don't necessarily hold true and only enforce these ideas of what we expect
>people
>to act like. We can just as easily use other words to describe what we're
>talking
>about.
You mean like "yo" and "oy"? I sense an old thread reawakening...I sense the
ghost of Chr*s Sp*nc*r approaching... help me out with the exorcism, aaron...
dEm, reliving the nightmare
Beth Slinker wrote:
> aaron pinkston (stil...@myself.com) wrote:
> :
> : The other day me and my SO and I were walking through the grocery store and the
> : lady and the cheese stand said "excuse me gentlemen?" as we kept on walking we just
>
> I'm not sure which of these lines is more amusing - the idea of both you
> and yourself accompanying your SO? or the talking cheese stand?
Oh dear, so what, you want me to proof these before I post? Actually now that it's
almost five in the morning and I finally finished my research, I'm more awake than when
it was five in the evening (it's either the shake from the coffee shop or the prospect of
having a subscription to "Flame Retardants" and "Ice Cream Reporter" [both are great
sources for the Kurd/Turk conflict).
Is it just the use of the lesbian-specific terminology (come to
think of it, can it be legitimately claimed that it is no longer
lesbian-sepcific?) which is problematic, or is the use of any
feminine term (in this context) as bad? (As someone who is quite
happy to be described as someone's mistress if for no other
reason than it's the most accurate description of the
relationship which is shorter than a paragraph....)
>(As someone who is quite
>happy to be described as someone's mistress if for no other
>reason than it's the most accurate description of the
>relationship which is shorter than a paragraph....)
Although the English language does fall down a bit there, "gigolo" and
"paramour" not quite meaning the same as "mistress," it still doesn't
apply to men, in my opinion. How about a short sentence: "I'm being kept."
(If you're not being kept, what's the point of being a mistress?)
--
Life goes on as it did before
As the country drifts slowly to war
-Billy Bragg
Ooh! I exist! Yay! ;-P
: Some lesbians often joke about who the butch one in the relationship is,
: particularly when it's rather ambiguous.
so how is it wrong, then, to joke about who the butch one in a
relationship that includes two people who play with gender and their
not-so-opposite gender roles?
: When a bi woman, particularly a bi woman who doesn't really date women,
Why must you question Bethany's identity in such an adversarial way? What
does it have to do with the discussion at hand? You almost seem
threatened by the idea of a bisexual person who happens to date one gender
a few times in a row, or even with a bit more preference - why?
: refers to her boyfriend as "my femme," [...] she's using this
: very lesbian-specific way of discussing her het relationship.
: I'm not saying this is a grievous sin or anything. I just find it kind of
: problematic.
Again, why are you threatened by the use of a term that originated in the
lesbian community, in the bisexual community? How is it "problematic"?
(Do you mean in the usual sense of the word, or the academic sense, as in,
"this presents an opportunity for study"?)
Personally, I know that I'm playing with gender and sexual orientation
when I flirt with bitty online. That's what makes it fun. If you're
threatened by that kind of play, perhaps you should work on understanding
why.
>
>Personally, I know that I'm playing with gender and sexual orientation
>when I flirt with bitty online. That's what makes it fun. If you're
>threatened by that kind of play, perhaps you should work on understanding
>why.
>
>--
>,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,
>Arthur Prokosch, Brown University '00 (or so)
> a...@pobox.com - http://www.pobox.com/~app
> Oxymoron of the Moment: "Phone Service"
>'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'
Personally I am now getting confused about who has what rude bits but
who cares?
You all sound like slutbuckets to me :) xx
Yeah. "Straight" couples have *real* gender differences.
"Gay" couples just fake them.
>-Beth, wondering if she can restart two flamewars with one post
If you can't, I bet I can.
--
Andrew D. Simchik: schn...@byz.org
http://www.byz.org/~schnopia/
Alison :
>Answer to this is be a goth.
Oh dear, is it ? Don't think it would really suit me. Although I went
to a goth night only yesterday evening and had a lovely time, so if
the worst comes to the worst then perhaps I could live with it.
(Music quote of the week - "I am a goth", Tommy from Space. In all
seriousness)
Alison :
> All goths (around here, anyway) where
>such similar shades of lipstick that no-one could complain about you
>having the same as them. My make N!k told me the other day that he's
>stopped wearing black because he now wears something call licorice -
>which proves my point I think...
I suppose, thier world is sort of a reverse version of the one Dulux
live in where white comes in thirty different shades.
Me :
>> Well there's allways paint on lip coats. Not the answer to everything,
Alison :
>Like the Middle East situation, for instance - I bet paint on lip
>coats would be a crap answer to that (although not as crap as some
>answers I've seen, come to think of it).
Actually I'd love to think that the current settlement was reached by
Kofi Annan and President Hussein sitting around discussing make-up
hints. When I rule the world this is exactly how international
diplomacy shall be handled.
Arthur Prokosch wrote:
> Possessed by d[a]emons of butchness, Beff wrote:
> : If you look at the origins of butch-femme relationships and identity among
> : lesbians, it's a bit more complicated than "who's wearing more makeup?"
> : and it isn't entirely about how one is perceived by others. I'm not saying
> : that femme men don't exist, or that they never date butch women.
>
> Ooh! I exist! Yay! ;-P
>
> : Some lesbians often joke about who the butch one in the relationship is,
> : particularly when it's rather ambiguous.
>
> so how is it wrong, then, to joke about who the butch one in a
> relationship that includes two people who play with gender and their
> not-so-opposite gender roles?
The words that we are using are built on stereotypes of how we are suppose to
act. Using these words only perpetuates these stereotypes even if we are using
them in a contradictory manner because by saying that I'm "femme" is saying that
I act like a girl (or in a girlish way). So now I'd ask you, how does a girl
act?
I'm not touching the stuff that came after that.
--
"If free I can be, I will;
if suffer I must, I can." "Fuck virginity!"
-William Faulkner (Absolom! Absolom!) -Jennifer Solomon
"The tao is everywhere. It's in the
sky, it's in this desk, it's in my "Never eat
shoes, but mostly it's in yourself." more than you can lift."
-Lisa Furukawa -Miss Piggy
Aaron Pinkston
stil...@myself.com
: Yeah. "Straight" couples have *real* gender differences.
: "Gay" couples just fake them.
All gender is drag, ergo the gender differences for gay and straight
couples are at least theoretically equivalent.
Sure, you might say that most males are encouraged to emulate a butch
ideal, while most females are encouraged to emulate a femme ideal...so
that "pre-existing" gender differences might be more frequent among OS
couples. But that's just a statistical difference.
There are always going to be OS couples with pre-existing gender
differences, just like there are always going to be SS couples with
pre-existing gender differences. Likewise, there are always going to be
OS and SS couples that have to "fake it", or waffle, or have fun playing
with gender roles because of the lack of difference in their gender
expressions. And there's no difference between the situations that _I_
can see.
: >-Beth, wondering if she can restart two flamewars with one post
: If you can't, I bet I can.
no - you're both wrong. It's taken at least 5 posts. And it's still not
quite a flamewar. :-)
> In article <RQE*3q...@news.chiark.greenend.org.uk>,
> Sion Arrowsmith <si...@chiark.greenend.org.uk> wrote:
>
> >(As someone who is quite
> >happy to be described as someone's mistress if for no other
> >reason than it's the most accurate description of the
> >relationship which is shorter than a paragraph....)
>
> Although the English language does fall down a bit there, "gigolo" and
> "paramour" not quite meaning the same as "mistress," it still doesn't
> apply to men, in my opinion.
That would seem to be the point. If you're into that
whole trendy genderfuck thing, anyway.
--
Andrew D. Simchik: wy...@bi.org
http://www.bi.org/~wyrd/
Heterosexual colonialism. It's all the rage!
Why, next you'll be hearing about "Queer Hets!"
> (Do you mean in the usual sense of the word, or the academic sense, as in,
> "this presents an opportunity for study"?)
No. A sneer is sufficient.
> Personally, I know that I'm playing with gender and sexual orientation
> when I flirt with bitty online.
Oh! I'm being overwhelmed by all the avant-garde
rattling around my head!
> That's what makes it fun. If you're threatened
> by that kind of play, perhaps you should work on
> understanding why.
::yawn::
Yeah Beth, time to watch commercials on the
boob tube for about, oh say, 5 minutes.
--
Michael Thomas (mi...@mtcc.com http://www.mtcc.com/~mike/)
"I dunno, that's an awful lot of money."
Beavis
"My/His/Her/Our Boy".
(not to be confused with The Boy)
>
> Me :
> >> No, that just leads to squables over who gets to wear your favourite
> >> colour on those occasions when you don't want to look overly coupley.
> >> The rows me and my girlfriend have had over Top Shop's 'Sultry' don't
> >> bare thinking about.
>
> Alison :
> >Answer to this is be a goth.
>
> Oh dear, is it ? Don't think it would really suit me. Although I went
> to a goth night only yesterday evening and had a lovely time, so if
> the worst comes to the worst then perhaps I could live with it.
Don't let them assimisate you if you down't want to. I'm not a goth,
I'm a punk - which means I don't care if mylipstick gets messed up :-)
> Me :
> >> Well there's allways paint on lip coats. Not the answer to everything,
>
> Alison :
> >Like the Middle East situation, for instance - I bet paint on lip
> >coats would be a crap answer to that (although not as crap as some
> >answers I've seen, come to think of it).
>
> Actually I'd love to think that the current settlement was reached by
> Kofi Annan and President Hussein sitting around discussing make-up
> hints. When I rule the world this is exactly how international
> diplomacy shall be handled.
Sounds good. I vote we elect Richard dictator right now.
Arthur Prokosch wrote:
> Possessed by d[a]emons, Andrew D. Simchik <schn...@flesh.byz.org> wrote:
> : In article <6d49k9$2...@fasolt.mtcc.com>, Beth Slinker <bli...@mtcc.com> wrote:
> : >
> : >I really don't think the whole butch-femme thing works quite the same way for
> : >straight couples.
>
> : Yeah. "Straight" couples have *real* gender differences.
> : "Gay" couples just fake them.
>
> All gender is drag, ergo the gender differences for gay and straight
> couples are at least theoretically equivalent.
Yep, Drew was actually wrong for once :o
>
>
> Sure, you might say that most males are encouraged to emulate a butch
> ideal, while most females are encouraged to emulate a femme ideal...
Not only are they encouraged to act that way, but that is why we use the terms
"butch" and "femme." That was my original point. Our very words support the gender
stereotype just because of where they came for.
In a SS couple, sure one might be more fluid with their body and make more distant
connections and be more intuitive, but to call that member of the couple "femme" is
only propagating the stereotype that alotof straight people have - 'So which one is
the girl/boy?' I don't understand why, with all the words that exist out there, just
use other words. Maybe describe which particular things you are referring to your
boyfriend/girlfriend as "femme/butch."
Maybe playing with stereotypes is fun in a relationship, but I don't think that
necessarily means that you have to acknowledge what the stereotype is. Lisa is more
direct with her body and I'm more fluid with mine, but does that mean that I'm her
"femme?" No, cognitively I'm more direct and she's more intuitive eventhough I'm
type B and she's type A. You get my gist (oh that's almost another word) other words
are more accurate and don't contain the stigma that "butch/femme" etc do. If it has
less fat and tastes better than regular chocolate, why not eat that instead?
> so
> that "pre-existing" gender differences might be more frequent among OS
> couples. But that's just a statistical difference.
true.
> There are always going to be OS couples with pre-existing gender
> differences, just like there are always going to be SS couples with
> pre-existing gender differences. Likewise, there are always going to be
> OS and SS couples that have to "fake it", or waffle, or have fun playing
> with gender roles because of the lack of difference in their gender
> expressions. And there's no difference between the situations that _I_
> can see.
nope it's all good to me (I've been in all three before), but why do we have to label
them in such a way?
>
>
> : >-Beth, wondering if she can restart two flamewars with one post
>
> : If you can't, I bet I can.
>
> no - you're both wrong. It's taken at least 5 posts. And it's still not
> quite a flamewar. :-)
Drew's post on the other end almost did, but we all know he's too cute to really
flame anything :)
> --
> ,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,-=-,
> Arthur Prokosch, Brown University '00 (or so)
> a...@pobox.com - http://www.pobox.com/~app
> Oxymoron of the Moment: "Phone Service"
> '-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'-=-'
--
I think that might be going abit far. I think we can still talk about sex as a
physical identifyier without having to bring in words that refer to gender and
have their roots in sexual stigmas.
> I sense an old thread reawakening...I sense the
> ghost of Chr*s Sp*nc*r approaching...
Oh dear, who gets to be Chr*s this time? I hope it's not me. No really I think
we all agree on certain points, but we just differ on what really matters.
> help me out with the exorcism, aaron...
.... and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 and a 1 and a 2 and a 3 and a 4....
>
>
> dEm, reliving the nightmare
aaron, trying to avoid it.
aaron pinkston <stil...@myself.com> wrote in article
<34EF42E4...@myself.com>...
> > > > With the *good* GI Joes you can (not those cheap plastic imitations
> > > > they made into a cartoon show).
> > >
> > > Please, don't date yourself too much ") i mean =)
> >
> > At the risk of dating myself, GI Joe would always wind up with Ken
doing
> > his bidding and I was convinced that the Six Million Dollar Man
>
> They had a Six Million Dollar Man doll? When I saw it, I think it was
all
> reruns.
Like I said I didn't want to date myself, but now I feel old.
>
> > had
> > something going with the African American GI Joe Character, (sorry I
know
> > he had a different name but I can't remember it) they always wound up
> > together in my toy box.
>
> *The* African American GI Joe? Do you mean Roadblock or Alpine or
someonelse?
Creak!!!!!!!! Was that my back, it's been giving out on my a lot lately,
that's what happens in your late 20's. Actually back when GI Joe was one
man in the Marines there was an African American version of him just like
Barbie has African American versions, but they give them other names.
Jerre
It's been a long cold winter in New York City. Wait actually it hasn't
been. That's horrible I have no excuse.
Jerbo
> Possessed by d[a]emons, Andrew D. Simchik <schn...@flesh.byz.org> wrote:
> : In article <6d49k9$2...@fasolt.mtcc.com>, Beth Slinker <bli...@mtcc.com> wrote:
> : >
> : >I really don't think the whole butch-femme thing works quite the same way for
> : >straight couples.
>
> : Yeah. "Straight" couples have *real* gender differences.
> : "Gay" couples just fake them.
>
> All gender is drag,
Whatever.
> ergo the gender differences for gay and straight
> couples are at least theoretically equivalent.
You can conclude anything from a false premise.
> Sure, you might say that most males are encouraged to emulate a butch
> ideal, while most females are encouraged to emulate a femme ideal...
...if you had no interest in complexity or data.
> There are always going to be OS couples with pre-existing gender
> differences, just like there are always going to be SS couples with
> pre-existing gender differences. Likewise, there are always going to be
> OS and SS couples that have to "fake it", or waffle, or have fun playing
> with gender roles because of the lack of difference in their gender
> expressions. And there's no difference between the situations that _I_
> can see.
I see differences. I just don't think they're very interesting.
> Arthur Prokosch wrote:
>
> > Possessed by d[a]emons, Andrew D. Simchik <schn...@flesh.byz.org> wrote:
> > : In article <6d49k9$2...@fasolt.mtcc.com>, Beth Slinker <bli...@mtcc.com> wrote:
> > : >
> > : >I really don't think the whole butch-femme thing works quite the same way for
> > : >straight couples.
> >
> > : Yeah. "Straight" couples have *real* gender differences.
> > : "Gay" couples just fake them.
> >
> > All gender is drag, ergo the gender differences for gay and straight
> > couples are at least theoretically equivalent.
>
> Yep, Drew was actually wrong for once :o
Sarcasm: it's not just for breakfast anymore.
Get a clue, d00d.
> Maybe playing with stereotypes is fun in a relationship, but I don't think that
> necessarily means that you have to acknowledge what the stereotype is. Lisa is more
You can't imagine how immensely boring all this hoo-ha
about "playing with stereotypes" seems from where I'm
sitting. Doing it is one thing; blathering incessantly
about it is quite another.
> Drew's post on the other end almost did, but we all know he's too cute to really
> flame anything :)
You're wrong about the cuteness, and even if you
weren't, you'd be wrong about my flaming ability.
That's okay. You're New Here.
> How about the notion that "butch" and "femme" and even "masculine" and "feminine"
> and the like are outdated words because they are only based on stereotypes that
> don't necessarily hold true and only enforce these ideas of what we expect people
> to act like. We can just as easily use other words to describe what we're talking
> about. In music theory, how is one cadence a "feminine" cadence and the other is
> "masculine?" It's because one is more direct and stronger. Well, couldn't we just
> say so? (help me out here Sev)
I want to back you up on this one too: I was at a conference recently on
women and the technological workplace, and it was proposed that the solution
to the lack of women in the computer industry could be remedied by making
the workplace "more feminine" -- ie, less competitive, more emotionally
responsive, etc. I'm what gets called "butch", so maybe I'm biased, but
this thought disgusted me: it was expected of me to shy away from competition
because I'm female. When I mentioned this, people looked at me like I had
7 heads. In social settings, because I'm mostly "butchy", I'm expected to
be unfailingly masculine... last week I wore a skirt to a club, and you'd
think I'd shown up in a Barney the Dinosaur outfit from my friends'
reactions (it was the skirt itself they found so shocking, not the big black
boots I wore with it ;-) In my little corner of the world, notions like
"butch/femme", "masculine/feminine" have served only to limit people, and
to cause a lot of confusion and problems when these assigned labels are
violated ("Melissa, you should have been born a boy *sigh*" - my
grandmother when I took up weightlifting... "Why don't you put a little
makeup on" - my mother... "Yeah, but you're not a REAL girl!" - my mostly
straight friends).
Incidentally, the only relationships I seem to get in that could be seen as
"butch/femme" are with men: I like my men lithe and long-haired in frilly
blouses, and my women strong and athletic with no makeup. These are just
physical characteristics, though, and don't seem to have much bearing on
the dynamics of the relationship: submissiveness or dominance, if those are
supposed to be femme and butch characteristics respectively (if not, someone
fill me in) both drive me insane. It seems I don't understand the labels, or
just don't see the point of them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Melissa "Mighty Mouse" Bousfield, Friendly YUCC System Administrator
http://www.yucc.yorku.ca/~mouse/ _--/) .--.
"On the side of the software box, it said / o `\ / \
'Requires Windows95 or Better.' -*- \ \__, |
So I installed Linux..." ` `-____/
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Jerbo wrote:
> > > At the risk of dating myself, GI Joe would always wind up with Ken
> doing
> > > his bidding and I was convinced that the Six Million Dollar Man
> >
> > They had a Six Million Dollar Man doll? When I saw it, I think it was
> all
> > reruns.
>
> Like I said I didn't want to date myself, but now I feel old.
<baby voice> 'S okay give me about a week and I'll be two fingers on the left
and none on the right. <baby voice>
>
>
> >
> > > had
> > > something going with the African American GI Joe Character, (sorry I
> know
> > > he had a different name but I can't remember it) they always wound up
> > > together in my toy box.
> >
> > *The* African American GI Joe? Do you mean Roadblock or Alpine or
> someonelse?
>
> Creak!!!!!!!! Was that my back, it's been giving out on my a lot lately,
> that's what happens in your late 20's.
*crank* *crank* *crank* That should fix it. Don't worry too much- I'll
be there someday.
> Actually back when GI Joe was one
> man in the Marines there was an African American version of him just like
> Barbie has African American versions, but they give them other names.
--
"The fact that three strikes and
you're out has become a legal
policy does not show the greatness
of baseball, it only shows that
America's Favorite Pastime has
become CourtTV."
Aaron Pinkston
stil...@myself.com
Andrew D. Simchik wrote:
> > Maybe playing with stereotypes is fun in a relationship, but I don't think that
> > necessarily means that you have to acknowledge what the stereotype is. Lisa is more
>
> You can't imagine how immensely boring all this hoo-ha
> about "playing with stereotypes" seems from where I'm
> sitting. Doing it is one thing; blathering incessantly
> about it is quite another.
If it bores you, don't read it.
>
>
> > Drew's post on the other end almost did, but we all know he's too cute to really
> > flame anything :)
>
> You're wrong about the cuteness,
Your actually right. Eventhough you *sound* cute, the goth thing on your page was abit
much. (but the Schnopism or whatever it was, reminded me of my brother.)
> and even if you
> weren't, you'd be wrong about my flaming ability.
please, I've seen it before.
>
>
> That's okay. You're New Here.
Really?? It seems like it's been aaages!
>
>
> --
> Andrew D. Simchik: wy...@bi.org
> http://www.bi.org/~wyrd/
--
"Life is mostly traumatic,
and happiness comes in how you deal with it."
-Lisa Furukawa
Aaron Pinkston
stil...@myself.com
[snip]
> the dynamics of the relationship: submissiveness or dominance, if those are
> supposed to be femme and butch characteristics respectively (if not, someone
> fill me in) both drive me insane. It seems I don't understand the labels, or
> just don't see the point of them.
<applause>
: > so how is it wrong, then, to joke about who the butch one in a
: > relationship that includes two people who play with gender and their
: > not-so-opposite gender roles?
: The words that we are using are built on stereotypes of how we are suppose to
: act. Using these words only perpetuates these stereotypes even if we are using
: them in a contradictory manner because by saying that I'm "femme" is saying that
: I act like a girl (or in a girlish way). So now I'd ask you, how does a girl
: act?
In using the words "butch" and "femme", I'm not trying to support the way
modern western society expects males and females to act. I'm simply
acknowledging the fact that to express oneself in this society, it's
virtually impossible to _not_ have a gender expression, whether it matches
with what society expects of your sex or gender.
Granted, with most people, a gender expression or label that fits their
actions or ideals isn't as simple as "butch", "femme", or even
"androgyne". You could argue that the mixing and matching required to
describe one's actions shows how useless the concept of gender expression
(or gender itself) is, but I feel that it's still impossible to live in
this world without having your actions used to portray you as "butch",
"femme", or something similar.
So I'm just trying to say that for me, thinking of things in terms of
gender is useful for relating to the outside world, even if doing so
requires that I use terms that were created in a society that expected all
its members to conform to proscribed gender roles.
: I'm not touching the stuff that came after that.
because I'm being too dense, or because it's becoming too controversial
(read: flame-war-inducing)?
-arthur, maybe I _will_ change my major from CS to Sexuality and Society