Hey, Ed Conrad, we know it's YOU!

[ROTTEN BASTARD]

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< THIS JUST IN
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rueters)
-- Just when the FBI and the
Smithsonian thought they had
enough deep mysteries to solve,
they have another one
The revolvers carried by
the three Security policemen
were stolen sometime in the
wee hours this morning.
Not only did they lose their
weapons but also their holsters
and belts carrying ammo.
"I was just sitting there
checking out stuff on eBay when
I realized my weapon was gone,"
said one of the officers,
"Then, suddenly, I noticed
my holster had disappeared as
well, along with my ammunition.
"The very first thing I did
was scream, 'HOLY SHIT!," then
phoned one of the other Security
people who happened to be taking
a snooze.
"That's when he excitedly told
me his stuff mysteriously had
disappeared as well."
This is what the stolen
revolvers look like.
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http://www.emf-company.com/store/pc/catalog/GW45SS434NMCW_large.jpg
<
An FBI agent said if someone
approaches you on a darkened
street corner and tries to sell
you one, don't buy it because
it's stolen and you may end up
in jail.
This is just the latest weird
occurrence at the Smithsonian
since the sudden death of Ed
Conrad a week ago.
First, the Departments of
Anthropology, Paleontology and
Geology were turned into the
aftermath of tsunami.
Then, the very next night,
the gigantic dinosaur on exhibit
vanished into thin air.
Some say that the ghost
of Ed Conrad is behind all of
the chicanery but atheists
disagree because they insist
there ain't life after death,
same as there ain't no God.
Ed took the 10-count last
week just after eating a slice
of delicious Humble Pie that
was given him by Smithsonian
staff.
The wonderful gesture was
actually done as a Peace Pipe
for all of the dishonest and
deplorable crap it had pulled
against him and Truth over
the past three decades.
It was only after Ed's
body was stiffer than an erect
penis that the FBI determined
that the pie had been baked
in the Smithsonian kitchen.
Even worse, chemical tests
later revealed that it contained
about 15-20 percent rat poison.
<
< ===========
<
< STRANGE EVENTS OF THE PAST WEEK
< (in chronological order)
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SRO EXPECTED FOR ED CONRAD'S FUNERAL
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https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/alt.obituaries/gIv_b8Fk-94
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ED SENT SIX FEET UNDER
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https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/alt.obituaries/0he4sN0WbTM
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IF Y0U LOVE HUMBLE PIE, YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK
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https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/alt.obituaries/n7y0ORGn-F8
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ED CONRAD'S DEATH MAY NOT HAVE BEEN AN ACCIDENT
<
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/alt.obituaries/PtPNnHok4-I
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ED'S BACK!
<
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/alt.obituaries/mBVXix_vRxs
<
=======
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SMITHSONIAN'S GIANT DINOSAUR MISSING
<
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/alt.obituaries/8CamY6GHLL4