Ensign Charlena Vanlith - Baby Steps pt 2
sophie philbrook
((Counselor's Office, Deck 6 - USS Veritas))
Orrey: ::motioning with his hand:: for instance what made you join Starfleet?
Vanlith: I wanted to help people.
Orrey: And what made you pick engineering?
::Vanlith shuffled again. Frustrated and confused. Why did he want to know this? Why did he need to know this?::
Vanlith: I don't see how any of this matters. ::Her voice shook slightly but she hoped not noticeably. There were somethings that only she needed to know.::
Orrey: Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t.
Vanlith: I'm not broken if that's what you're thinking.
Orrey: I am not saying you are.
Vanlith: My childhood was fine ::She said through gritted teeth.::
Orrey: I am not saying it was not.
Vanlith: I'm sure it's all in some file on me somewhere. Just look it up.
Orrey: I could, perhaps I have, but it doesn’t read the same.
Vanlith: And why exactly does it make any difference coming from me or not? ::Her tone raised slightly. As far as she was concerned it was no ones business her past and her family.::
Orrey: Files don’t tell stories the way people do. Fact sheets do not carry over emotions and reasons. ::holding out his hand for a moment.:: For instance, my own file. The ‘quick hits’ as it were, I was born on Starbase Ten to a linguistics teacher mother and Starfleet captain father. My mother died in birth. My father was killed eighteen years later in an attack on the ship we were stationed on an attack that left me with a lingering injury. Also the fact sheet would reveal I have a purple heart. Cut dry and to the point.
Vanlith: And that's all I need to know. I don't need to know more unless you want to tell me. So what's your point here?
Orrey: ::Taking a slow breath:: That doesn’t tell you that my mother also wrote novels, real and holo, in her spare time. It does not relate the nearly two decades of growing up around Starfleet that I experienced on that ship with my father and the rest of the crew. It also won’t relate how I have extensive scarring on my left leg from my hip to my knee where an EPS conduit exploded during the abandoning of the ship that nearly took my leg off from shoving someone else out of the way. ::sipping his tea for a moment.::
::Charlena stared at him taken aback. She was shocked by this information and didn't really know how to process it. She looked at him awaiting his continuation::
Orrey: Both of which clue you in more toward my personality. A refusal to allow the damage to my leg to be completely repaired, leaving me with that scarring and sometimes weakness after prolonged periods. That could lead one toward beginning to consider Survivor’s Guilt. The admission that it happened saving another, combined with the fact that the purple heart was earned taking a knife to my stomach instead of a previous captain would also change how that ribbon is viewed as well as the previous event. It could show a self worth issue, or it could show a value issue. It is all in how the conversation grows around them. I am here to listen to your story.
Vanlith: My life isn't some story to be told. My file has everything ::her voice shook but not out of anger but out of fear. Her file had everything it needed to have and that was all the mattered.::
Orrey: ::shrugging:: Doubt it but we will learn soon enough.
Vanlith: If you ask questions I'll answer but I'm not broken. I'm not someone vulnerable that needs to be stitched back together. I don't know how many times I have needed to say that to counsellors but I'll do it over and over if I have to.
Orrey: Again, no one has accused you of being broken. ::waving a hand, he switched to purely coubselor:: So you were born on Risa?
Vanlith: Yes I was born on Risa.
Orrey: And your family? They still live there?
Vanlith: Yes my family are still there.
Orrey: Interesting.
Vanlith: What are you getting at? There is everything in my file there needs to be. No one said it had to be detailed. I gave the information asked of me.
Orrey: Did you enjoy growing up on Risa?
Vanlith: Of course I did. It's beautiful and open and free. And… ::she trailed off slightly as she thought about what she had given up for her brother.::
Orrey: What is your happiest memory growing up?
Vanlith: The turtles ::her face light up as she thought back to the turtles and her mother.:: I used to be able to spot them easily. So easily. My mother taught me how. She loved to paint them. She was an artist. She loved painting the turtles making it so you had to search for them in her paintings. Turtles and flowers were her favourite. I don't know what her favourite is now.
Orrey: Oh? Are not close with her?
Vanlith: I ::she stopped herself:: this isn't something I talk about. ::She closed in on herself hugging her knees as she thought about her mother. Her mother who she barely spoke to anymore.:: No we aren't as close anymore.
Orrey: Why?
Vanlith: She barely remembers who I am these days. It's better that way.
Orrey: How long has it been that way?
Vanlith: It's been like that for a while. 6 years to be exact. But I'm fine.
Orrey: So an event occurred that precipitated the change in family status.
Vanlith: I thought this was meant to be about Sentinel? ::Her walls went back up. She was hugging her knees tight unaware of the tears running down her face as she thought about her mother and how everything had changed.::
Orrey: ::flatly:: It would have been. So your family dynamic changed with the birth of your brother?
Vanlith: Y..yes that's when my brother was born.
Orrey: And what can you tell me about him?
Vanlith: He's an angel. He's just had a tough life.
Orrey: I see. So there were problems from birth then or more recent developments?
Vanlith: Y..yes there were problems when he was born. ::Charlena was now aware of the tears on her face but did nothing about them as for the first time she let herself feel the pain of what had happened.::
::Jansen paused briefly. He never did like being "The Counselor" but some people needed the cold clinical side of things to open up. There was plenty of more avenues he could explore later on with this information so he shifted the conversation back.::
Orrey: I think we have covered enough in this session. I do want you to come back however.
::Charlena nodded slowly as she wiped her tears away collecting herself again and clearing the sadness from her face.::
Vanlith: I think that would be good.
Orrey: And..on the off chance that you want to speak before then, I am easily reachable. On your way out you can speak to Mr. Vanlith about planning an appointment next week.
Vanlith: Mr Vanlith?
Orrey: ::nodding his head letting a playful smile free.:: Mhmm ::waving his hand slightly.:: He is my assistant.
Vanlith: I will. ::Slowly she stood straightening out her clothing as she prepared herself to leave.:: Thank you.
Orrey: ::smiling up at her remaining seated.:: I am here to help.
Vanlith: I think I'm finally starting to understand that. ::slowly Charlena took her leave of the room and headed back to her quarters. Her head clearer and her heart lighter.::
END
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Ensign Charlena Vanlith
Engineering Officer
USS Veritas
V239604CV0
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Lieutenant Jansen Orrey
Counselor
USS Veritas
O238506JO0