[V-COUN] Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek: Doesn't Mean I Have To Like It
Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek
((Counselor’s Office, USS Veritas))
::The situation between her and Toryn was beyond complicated. Yes, she was attracted to him. Yes, it had admittedly stung a bit when he’d all but run in the other direction. Given the circumstances, though, she couldn’t really blame him. He had far more to lose from an intimate encounter than she did. Even as the hormones had been (and admittedly, still were a bit) scrambling her brain and shooting all ability to make logical decisions to hell, she’d been lucid enough to know she’d regret it as much as he did if only for the consequences he’d have to face for his choice.::
Dugoras: I see so he was not an exile already.
Dugoras: If you don't mind could you tell me more about the Al-Leyan mating process? What makes your season so dangerous? Is this a female only issue? that kind of thing.
Rosek: ::takes a deep breath:: Chemical levels in our bodies build up and reach levels so high that our bodies can’t sustain themselves. If the chemicals aren’t released, it can kill us. ::grimaces:: But for the reaction that purges the chemicals to occur, we need to be close enough that our bodies can absorb our partner’s into our system...a catalyst of sorts. ::pauses:: And no. It impacts Al-Leyan men, too. ::blushes:: That’s why I’m surprised he and I were able to resist like we were. We happened to both be beginning our seasons at the same time. Our unusual telepathic and empathic connection didn’t help.
Dugoras: And you have peculiar abilities in that area as I recall.
Rosek: ::pauses:: I’m unique as both a Human and an Al-Leyan in that I can hear the thoughts of other Al-Leyans without touch and can feel the emotions of most species through touch. I learned that he can also hear the thoughts of other Al-Leyans without touch.
Dugoras: Interesting... so the two of you were able to communicate anytime and in an intimate way.
::It had been nothing like the connection she shared with Chythar. Yes, it had been intense. But there had been a control underlying it. Maybe it was his experience with empathy and her combined experience with both telepathy and empathy that had made it easier. Could it be that her connection with Chythar had been preparing her for the connection with Toryn?::
::Her stomach flipped at the idea and it gave her a new perspective on the development of her abilities and the events that had led up to it. It was the epitome of fate that things should happen the way they had. It was hard to wrap her mind around the idea that maybe she and Toryn had been meant to find each other. After all, what were the chances that she’d find another Al-Leyan serving in Starfleet who had empathic gifts and who happened to be entering his season at the same time as her?::
Rosek: ::nods:: And the situation is further complicated by the fact that I possess a unique ability in relation to my gifts. I’m able to both unintentionally and purposely project what I’m feeling. ::grimaces:: So between being able to read his thoughts and emotions, him being able to read my thoughts, and me being able to project my emotions...we were pretty much completely open to one another. When I touched him, I was dealing with the symptoms of my season and the symptoms of his. It was--intense.
Dugoras: I can only imagine what that experience was like, the level of psychological freedom and stress you two shared must have been unlike anything else most beings in our species relative evolutionary stage could experience in life!
::She was used to the curiosity with her abilities, so the excitement in his voice was only mildly irritating, something she was able to suppress once she realized where it was coming from. Admittedly, it took a bit longer than usual due to the strain of her season. Thankfully, the medication Chythar had synthesized was doing its job.::
Rosek: ::sighs:: Honestly? I’m surprised either of us were able to restrain ourselves like we did.
Dugoras: So how did this situation resolve?
Rosek: ::blushes:: Well, it didn’t. We--we danced for a bit, but when things got to be too much--when we almost-- ::blush intensifies:: He walked away and I went back to my temporary quarters. I left on the first transport I could get the next morning and haven’t talked to him since.
Dugoras: Do you think of him often? Sometimes?
::As much as she hated to admit it, she probably thought of him more often than she really should. Her subsconscious seemed determined to torture her both sleeping and waking hours. It was likely due to the guilt gnawing at her. A part of her wanted to tell Jon everything...but she’d seen how well that worked out the last time.::
::Besides, the only cheating she’d done was in her head. She and Toryn hadn’t physically acted on their attraction, even if she’d wanted to and had gotten somewhat close to kissing him. She grimaced. If he hadn’t walked away, there’s a good chance she’d have done something incredibly stupid. She really was trying to get on a better track with making responsible decisions. After all, what kind of role model would she be for Maddy otherwise.::
Rosek: ::gnaws on her lip:: I see him in dreams sometimes...what would have happened if we’d-- ::gaze drops from his and murmurs:: It was the single most intense experience of my life. I’ve never felt such a strong pull toward someone like I did that night.
Dugoras: Do you feel as though you may regret the outcome to some degree?
Rosek: ::pauses:: I--I don’t know. I try not to think about it. I have a boyfriend and I shouldn’t be thinking about it.
Dugoras: That is the general perspective. :: Small pause.:: I won't act as if I can fully understand how all this is affecting you but I feel you may want to give all the strands in this web an examination.
Rosek: ::grimaces:: I can’t say I disagree...not that I’ll like it. ::sighs:: Honestly, if I were given a choice, I’d rather stay faithful than risk losing everything I have to something that might not even be possible.
Dugoras: I agree, have you discussed this in detail with Doctor Skyfire? The thought of adapting a hormone for you current mate crossed my mind you might pursue that.
Rosek: ::nods:: That was actually my intent with having Chythar pursue that avenue.
Dugoras: I see well then, as I said earlier you may want to consider your fellow Al-Leyan as an option if it is an option, I recommend discussing this with your current boyfriend if you feel you can discuss these things in your current relationship.
::Lael winced. That was a sticking point, wasn’t it? Bringing this whole situation up with Jon? It was looking more and more like it would be necessary. She only prayed to God that it worked. If not, she’d either be dead or right back to square one...neither of which was appealing.::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: How I’ll bring it up to him, I don’t know.
Dugoras: Of course, I will do some thinking on the matter and if I think of anything I'll let you know ok?
Rosek: ::nods and pauses:: Thank you.
::She then stood and strode out of his office, lost in thought. If she did pursue this path, it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. She grimaced. It certainly wasn’t something she planned to rush into either.::
END
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Lieutenant Commander Lael Rosek, Eng.D.
Engineering Officer
USS Veritas NCC-95035
I238110RH0
https://wiki.starbase118.net/wiki/index.php/Lael_Rosek