JP - Counselor Lan Riel & Amb. Rune Jolara: Seeking Counsel

[Rune Jolara]

((OOC: This takes place before the briefing and right after Rune's last visit to sickbay. Special thank you to our Counselor! :) ))

((Deck 13, Counselor's Suite, USS Apollo-A))

::The one thing Rune was dreading worse than going to sickbay was going to talk to the Counselor. Talking would force her to face what had happened to her and what she had done and all the nasty stuff in between that she didn't want to talk about. But she was Al-Leyan and Al-Leyans sought help when they needed it. As much as she wanted to run and hide from it, there was no denying she needed help.::

::Since she was already on Deck 13 and she was physically feeling a little better... still not great, but better... she saw no point putting it off any longer. As she exited sickbay, she shoved the bottle of pills Dr. MacLaren gave her into her pocket, crossed the corridor and entered the Counselor's Suite.::

::She was glad to see it hadn't changed much since it had been her domain. There was sense of peace here which helped. Crossing the small reception area, she stopped at the Counselor's door and pressed the door chime before she could change her mind.::

:: Lan took a step back and wiped his brow as he examined what had once been the chair sitting in front of his desk. It had taken him a few hours of work with a carefully-tuned phaser to add finishing touches without compromising the raw energy and emotion Luna had infused into the piece, but he believed the addition it provided to his office was worth every effort.
You could still make out the initial silhouette of the chair, but the metal was twisted and distorted as if it was writhing away from its imposed shape and reaching for the ceiling. What had once been a mere piece of furniture was now a vibrant metaphor for catharsis, that blended in perfectly with the other abstract sculptures adorning the room, spontaneous artworks created by the combustion of his old office onboard the Apollo.

The door chime interrupted his reflexions, and he went to open the door, revealing Rune, standing in front of it with an apprehensive look. ::

Riel: Ambassador. Please come in. To what do I owe the pleasure? :: He gestured toward the inside of the room. ::

::Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward as the door opened. There was a slight skip of her heart as she entered and an anxiety induced queasiness she hadn't expected. Absently placing her hand on her stomach, she forced a smile.::

Jolara: Hello Counselor. I hope I am not catching you at a bad time.

Riel: Not at all...

:: She definitely sounded apprehensive... and to Lan's dismay, he remembered that he still had his personal phaser in hand. With an embarrassed expression, he coughed and tried to put it back on his desk as casually as possible. And failed miserably. ::

Riel: ... Sorry. I was doing a bit of metalworking. Erm. A therapeutic work, so to speak. What can I do for you?

::She tried to smile. She understood the benefits of having a therapeutic hobby, though she had none herself. The way he asked his question told her he wasn't aware of what had happened. That was some relieve, though not much.::

Jolara: I was wondering if we could talk... about some things that I am having difficulty with.

:: Lan frowned slightly. He had some practice of Al-Leyan feelings, thanks to Loleh, and he didn't like what he sensed right now. ::

Riel: Of course. Please, make yourself at ease. Can I replicate you something? :: He thought for a second :: I know that the replicator can add extra spice to a plomeek soup, but I haven't tested the maximum sugar settings for drinks yet.

:: Surprised, Rune tilted her head slightly and smiled. Obviously he knew about Al-Leyans' inability to taste things the way other species could.::

Jolara: You are familiar with Al-Leyan tastes?

:: Lan smiled fondly at the memory of his drinks and meals shared with Loleh. He hoped that this discussion at least wouldn't end being interrupted by a system-scale catastrophe... That was only for dates, right? ::

Riel: You're not the first Al-Leyan among my friends. Now, how can I help you?

::Rune moved to sit down. She couldn't help thinking how strange this all felt. It had been a very long time since she was the one seeking help from a Counselor instead of the one giving help. Sinking into the sofa, she took a slow, measured breath.::

Jolara: It is complicated and I do not even know where to begin.

::She realized it was probably the most spoken first statement to a Counselor but it was the truth.::

Riel: :: Smiling :: There must be a reason that compelled you to push my door chime this morning, isn't there?

::There was some hesitation as Rune tried to gather her thoughts and put them into words.::

Jolara: My immediate problem is... ::She felt sick again.:: This is more difficult that I realized it would be.

Riel: :: In a calming voice :: Take your time, no need to rush it. We'll start when you're ready.

:: Lan walked to the replicator and ordered a drink for himself before coming back to sit in front of Rune. ::

::She took a breath and nodded.::

Jolara: Something happened that I do not remember.

Riel: :: Nodding :: That's something we can work on. But I have to ask: how do you know it happened if you can't remember it?

Jolara: Because... ::her stomach seemed to flip:: I am pregnant.

:: It took all of Lan's willpower not to paint the room in shades of raktajino. He swallowed painfully before looking at Rune, and the tears in his eyes were not only from choking. ::

Riel: :: Under his breath :: Protectors...

:: He wanted to ask a thousand questions at once, but none would help her right now. He willed his heartbeat to slow down and his adrenaline to go back to an acceptable level before speaking again. Simple, factual questions first, to help her get a foothold. ::

Riel: When did you learn?

Jolara: When Dr. MacLaren was treating my injury.

:: He shook his head. Poor Rune... This, on top of everything else. ::

Riel: I imagine it must have been a shock. How are you holding up?

::She wanted to curl up into a ball... or run. Instead, she took a deep breath and released it.::

Jolara: ::shaking her head:: When I first found out... not well at all. ::her throat tightened:: I... ::Another breath. There was no easy way to say it.:: I tried to end my life but the Captain stopped me.

:: He blanched slightly. ::

Riel: Ah. Hence your presence here. :: Pause :: Rune, I... I had no idea. Forgive me.

Jolara: You were not suppose to know. No one was. But now... I do not know what to do.

:: He nodded slowly. ::

Riel: Several things. First, you need to decide where you are going from here. Have you already told Kieran?

::Rune bit her lip and looked down at the floor.::

Jolara: ::nodding:: Yes. I told her and she said we would get through it together.

Riel: :: He frowned slightly :: By which you mean...

:: He paused, leaving the sentence suspended in the air. Abortion was a major taboo in some cultures, and from what he knew about the Al-Leyans, it was likely the case. ::

Jolara: Not having it is not an option.

::Aborting for Al-Leyan women was not an option even if they wanted to. Much like Bajorans, mother and child were physically connected in such a way it is impossible to do without ending both their lives. At first it wouldn't have mattered to Rune but now...::

Riel: :: With a slow nod :: What about after birth? Do you have plans to keep the baby with you... raise it together?

Jolara: I do not know how much you really know of our culture. I feel like I have no choice. If the baby is full Al-Leyan, the Council will attempt to take it as soon as it is born. I can not and will not let that happen.

Riel: Yes, I know about the oO What was the name again? Hamamu... Haemucho... Oo the Institution. But what do you mean by "if the baby is full Al-Leyan"? Do you believe that someone from your people would be responsible? :: His eyes narrowed :: Someone you know?

Jolara: ::weak smile:: That is where things get even more complicated.

Riel: :: Relaxing and smiling gently :: Rune, what will be complicated if anyone threatens you or this baby in any way will be to prevent Kieran from leaving them braindead. The rest is merely inconvenient.

::Rune nodded slowly. She was aware of what Kieran was capable of and she had no doubts the Bajoran-Betazoid would use the darkest of her abilities if provoked.::

::She closed her eyes and drew in a breath, releasing it slowly as she gathered her thoughts.::

Jolara: The fact I am "with" Kieran... It is not talked about with outsiders but it is forbidden on many levels but mostly. ::She had explained this before to various trusted people and still it never got easier.:: My people are very... how would you say... conservative. They value what will benefit our society and what is not seen as a benefit is forbidden. They will do whatever it takes to bring those who deviate from their set values and social norms. Anything and they will not stop until...

:: Lan's face went blank, a perfectly neutral mask that hid the inferno of cold rage that had ignited behind it. ::

Riel : :: Nodding :: Carry on.

:: Rune leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees and rubbed her face as if that would erase the frustration and anxiety.::

Jolara: Many years ago, my mentor discovered I was attracted to women. I was forced to undergo extensive Attitude Re-adjustment Therapy. ::The truth was, it was far more than that but Rune didn't understand or know all of it so she left it at that.:: Many of my memories of that time were... erased? Modified? I do not know really what. It does not matter right now. Something happened on a mission early on in my career in Starfleet that, for a lack of better term, reawakened who I really was inside and I began remembering bits and pieces of what was done to me. I foolishly confronted my mentor and was ordered to return to Leya-I. ::Her chest tightened.:: I refused and I have since cut ties with my people. Or at least I have tried. ::beat:: I believe that she has and continues to subversively force me to return home in order to be... put back on the right branch. I never can go back and I will not.

Riel: :: In a calm, clipped voice :: I have already met people like that. People who felt that destroying your ‘faulty’ identity and reshaping it to match their standards was good and justified. :: Pause ::  Most of them served in the ranks of the Dominion, mind you. oO Unfortunately, only ‘most’ of them. Oo

Jolara: Maybe I am broken. ::The thought rolled out of her mouth before she realized it.::

:: Lan shook his head slowly ::

Riel : You already know everything that I’m going to tell you, but I will say it nonetheless. None of it is your fault. You did nothing wrong. You *are* nothing wrong. I wish I could say the same about whoever did this to you. Who wanted to deny you the right of being who you are, because they couldn’t even imagine that their little close-minded way of doing things wasn’t the only right one.

Jolara: But they believe...

Riel : I don’t care what they believe. This was fractally wrong. It was wrong on so many levels that anywhere I look it’s just as wrong as the whole thing.

::Rune was silent for a moment, allowing what Lan said to really sink in. He was right of course. If their roles were reversed she would be telling him the exact same thing. Still...::

Jolara: Thank you. I know you are right. It is just... Sometimes it is difficult for me to believe. ::smiling weakly:: I was once told my people brainwashed me. Sometimes I am not sure that is not true.

:: Lan shot her a worried look. Protectors, how far were these people ready to go? ::

Riel: That would be... particularly barbaric, but not irreversible.

:: He hoped that it was simple psychological conditioning. If she had really been brainwashed... Searching for the corrupted engrams  within her mind to suppress them would be so long, intrusive and dangerous that he wasn't even sure he really wanted to try. ::

::She nodded slowly, feeling the exhaustion returning and taking hold.::

Jolara: I believe it would be beneficial for me to continue seeing you.

Riel: :: He smiled :: It would be a pleasure. For now, I will fill the mandatory paperwork and reassure the captain about your ability to perform your duties. Just don't overwork yourself.

::With a sense of relief, Rune stood up and released a breath. Though they hadn't discussed many details, simply opening up as much as she did felt like a weigh was lifted.::

Jolara: Thank you. I appreciate that. ::slight bow of her head and a smile:: And I will try not to over work.

Riel: Of course. :: He got up and accompanied her towards the door. :: Give my best to Kieran.

--
 Lieutenant-Commander Lan Riel
 Counselor
 USS Apollo-A
 G239107LR0

-and-

Ambassador Rune Jolara
   Diplomatic Officer - USS Apollo-A
Writer ID: A238909RJ