WWF Monday Night RAW - 3/1/94
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
Poughkeepsie, NY 3.1.94 (but taped 13.12.93) and broadcast on the USA
Network.
We open with a Paul Bearer/Undertaker interview, followed by last weekend's
Challenge interview of Cornette and Yokozuna (and Fuji) by Stan Lane, where
we learn that saying the word "casket" puts the WWF Champion in a frenzy.
Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Johnny Polo, who provide all commentary.
Hearken back to the glory days of the GWF as Polo does color.
Yokozuna v. Dan Dubiel - I just did some checking...this is the first time
in the one year history of Monday Night RAW that we get a show this stale
(three weeks after the initial taping). What a way to celebrate the first
anniversary of MNR. Yokozuna is unbelievably brutal with the butt drop.
Let us take you back to Superstars and The Narcissist v. Jacques Rougeau -
Pierre comes in, so Luger pins 'em both, then nails Polo for good measure.
Actually this was a pretty good match, but not chopped up and given to me on
MNR in place of a real match.
Vince McMahon, 'earlier today,' interviews Luger, who thanks the fans for
plunking down their hard earned dollars on the voteline. Luger implicitly
roots for the Undertaker at the Rumble Royale. He also promises to do his
darned best if he is allowed in the Rumble. Let's see, three spots left.
One for the Japanese guy, one for the Puerto Rican guy...who can we find for
that last spot...
Thurman Plugg spiel. Again, I have to point out that although the car says
"Sparkey," the graphic says "Sparky." This is SO annoying.
BBB & BB v. the Smoking Scotsmen -
Promos: ICOPRO (Tatanka), Street Fighter 2: Special Champion Edition Sega
carts
Bigelow and Billy start. Lockup, Bigelow carries Billy, whips him and
clotheslines him. Bigelow with power moves. Billy dropkicks Bigelow out,
amazingly. He goes back in and gets caught in an arm wringer. Tag to Bart,
resume arm wringer. "Booger" chant has started for no reason. Bigelow
comes back with a vicious elbow. Tag to Booger. Bart gets behind him and
promptly gets run into a post. Booger with whip and clothesline. Out goes
Bart, let's take an ad break.
When we come back, Booger is bulldogged for the save. Double shoulderblock.
Bart rushes Booger, who holds down the rope. Bart still manages to go under
it. Bigelow takes out Bart while referee "Blind" Dave Hebner is distracted
by Booger and Billy. Bigelow works over Bart. Snap suplex. 2 count.
Billy is doing some frenetic cheerleadin, but all for nought. Tag to
Booger. Elbow. Leg drop!!! It's over now, right? No, only 2. Chop by
Booger. Head butt. Whip and a miss, duh. Bart is reaching for the
corner...tag to Bigelow, tag to Billy. House afire bit while Luna massages
Luna's hump. bam Bam is in all sorts of trouble, and Booger is showing some
appreciation to Luna Tunes. Bam Bam is getting DDT'd. Amazingly, he's
kicking out. Booger is actually KISSING and hugging Tunes. Oh no, he's in
love with her. Meanwhile, Bigelow has finally noticed what's going on and
goes out to defend the honor of his woman. Somehow, there's a countout
while they fight. I guess they won't be teaming up again any time soon.
Gunns by countout.
Todd Pettengill with YOUR RRR. Let's recap those rules. Here's the
participants. B. Hart, Crush, Kamala, O. Hart, Doink, Mabel, S. Steiner,
Michaels, Diesel, Bomb, Bigelow, Savage, the Kid, Fatu, Samu, R. Steiner,
Backlund, Valentine, the Gunns, Martel, Booger, Jannetty, Mo, Dubba J,
B0rga, Tatanka...and three more. Championship Casket Match, Yokozuna vs.
Undertaker. Tag Tilte Match, Harts vs. Quebecers, IC Title match, Ramon vs.
IRS. Tatanka vs. Ludvig B0rga.
Hype for next week's RAW, the "real" One Year Anniversary show. Vince
prmises a special commentator...I'm guessing Fred Blassie. It'll probably
be Lord Alfred Hayes and the Bushwhackers or something.
Jedoublef Jadoubleredoublet v. John Chrystal - Strut. Strut. Strut.
Let us take you back to last week's RAW and the Polo vs. Jannetty vs. Pierre
match. Jannetty fails to complete the sunset flip. Polo fever--catch it!
Vince glowers and Polo gloats. As if on cue, Jannetty and the "1-2-3" Kid
come out and have some words. Jannetty wants a title shot--him and the Kid
against Les Quebecois "next week." Sign in the crowd: "I CAN TAKE THE
1-2-3 KID"
You konw, when you're the Intercontinental Champion, there's just nothing
like a big lungful of fresh, clean air.
Shawn Michaels v. Brian Walsh - Michaels brings Diesel with him. I guess
someone finally remembered that Diesel was Michaels' bodyguard once. Oh,
good, Jacque's on the phone. He has NO problem with next week's title
match. This match is a little bit better than you might expect, but
fortunately we get back into WWF action when Michaels throws Walsh outside
the ring to Diesel. Diesel just throws him back in. Vince announces that
next week Bam Bam Bigelow will be taking on Bastion Booger. <sigh> Polo
announces that today is Jim Ross' birthday. Happy birthday Ross. After
half an hour, Michaels pins Walsh.
Promos: Rage in the Cage Sega CD game, RoboCop 3 Sega carts
Next week: Kid & Jannetty vs. Quebecers for the Titles, Bigelow vs. Booger.
Happy New Year!
That RAW guy, Christopher Robin Zimmerman / kz...@galaxy.ucr.edu
christopher zimmerman
Please substitute the word "Booger" for the word "Luna" where applicable.
Thank you.
Groggy,
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
Gene C. Miller
(Christopher Robin Zimmerman) wrote:
> bam Bam is in all sorts of trouble, and Booger is showing some
> appreciation to Luna Tunes. Bam Bam is getting DDT'd. Amazingly, he's
> kicking out. Booger is actually KISSING and hugging Tunes. Oh no, he's in
> love with her. Meanwhile, Bigelow has finally noticed what's going on and
> goes out to defend the honor of his woman. Somehow, there's a countout
> while they fight. I guess they won't be teaming up again any time soon.
> Gunns by countout.
I didn't see Booger actually kissing Looney, but rather nuzzling her neck
and shoulder. But this stuff is sort of a replay of George the Animal
Steele's affection for Miss Elizabeth--you know, "Beauty and the Beast."
But which one is here the beauty and which the beast? But still, let's see
some of these behemoths do some more work, instead of merely letting their
bulk work for them.
> Let us take you back to last week's RAW and the Polo vs. Jannetty vs. Pierre
> match. Jannetty fails to complete the sunset flip. Polo fever--catch it!
> Vince glowers and Polo gloats. As if on cue, Jannetty and the "1-2-3" Kid
> come out and have some words. Jannetty wants a title shot--him and the Kid
> against Les Quebecois "next week." Sign in the crowd: "I CAN TAKE THE
> 1-2-3 KID"
Yes, and then we had several tight shots with variously Polo and 123
Jannetty filling the screen. When we go back to a wide shot, the sign is
gone. But what is present is a wide red-shirted security person who
apparently is a production values consultant to the WWF.
> Shawn Michaels v. Brian Walsh -
I thought Walsh showed some nice stuff, but Michaels apparently didn't
feel like selling very hard. Too bad....Gene
Otto Heuer #3
CRZ writes:
> We open with a Paul Bearer/Undertaker interview,
Is Pringle getting less understandable in his interviews (due to the high
moaning voice he uses) or has he always been hard to understand?
> followed by last weekend's
> Challenge interview of Cornette and Yokozuna (and Fuji) by Stan Lane, where
> we learn that saying the word "casket" puts the WWF Champion in a frenzy.
Look, Andre, a snake! Ooops, sorry, wrong giant/phobia.
> Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Johnny Polo, who provide all commentary.
> Hearken back to the glory days of the GWF as Polo does color.
It *was* a welcome change from Heenen...
> When we come back, Booger is bulldogged for the save. Double shoulderblock.
> Bart rushes Booger, who holds down the rope. Bart still manages to go under
> it.
Yup. That was my vote for "worst exposing of the business" for January
(even worse than Johnny B Badd missing his super-sunset-flip-
but-opponent-falls-backwards-anyway). I mean, marks are supposed to
believe that he *didn't* want to go outside the ring, Booger pulls the rope
down, but Gunn falls out even though he didn't go over the top rope?
> House afire bit while Luna massages
> Luna's hump.
I was hoping Polo would make some reference to Bobby Brown/Beavis/Butthead:
"Everybody's humping a hound?"
"Heh-heh.. yeah! That'd be cool."
"Uh... it would?"
> Booger is actually KISSING and hugging Tunes. Oh no, he's in
> love with her.
How long until Booger's tongue turns green and he starts eating turnbuckle
pads? Ooops... sorry. Wrong moron face turn.
> Meanwhile, Bigelow has finally noticed what's going on and
> goes out to defend the honor of his woman. Somehow, there's a countout
> while they fight.
Of course the ref didn't make any effort to remove one of the two Gunns
in the ring. Face infractions can be overlooked; Heel infractions can't
(rule #42 of referee school--just ask Marv). :-)
> Sign in the crowd: "I CAN TAKE THE
> 1-2-3 KID"
At least it wasn't Stromer.
The sign would have been "I can lick the 1-2-3 Kid"
--Otto "HACK-MAN" Heuer Howard Stern/Rush Limbaugh '96
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