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[WCWF] Summerslam 1995

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Scott Keith

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Sep 5, 1995, 3:00:00 AM9/5/95
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"It's like smoking a cigarette in a munitions dump -- it's only a matter
of time before something bad happens."

"If wrestling is art, then [Flair]'s using oils and everyone else is using
water colours."

- Selected quotes from Jim Ross, Starrcade 1988.

Before the event begins, let's take a quick journey to San Francisco a
few days ago, for this pre-taped segment...

[We open in front of the Women's Activists & Convicted Killers
Organization (WACKO) building, where they are currently protesting,
well, something or other.]

Protesters: Save the gay whales! Free Willy now! More funding for
convicted killers' art! Rush Limbaugh must die!

[Mr. Fuji walks into the scene, escorted by five large gentlemen.]

Fuji: Ahhh, very good. This is typical American protest rally, where
they march against liberal government fools. Here are the true
supporters of American dream. [Holds a megaphone to his mouth.]
ATTENTION FAT, LAZY, AMERICAN PROTESTERS! I AM MASTER FUJI, AND I AM
HERE TO ANNOUNCE THE FORMATION OF A GROUP TO DESTROY YOUR WHOLE
WORTHLESS COUNTRY ONCE AND FOR ALL!

[The protesters put down the inflatable gay whale dolls and listen.]

Fuji: I HAVE WITH ME THE GREATEST STABLE OF NON-AMERICAN WRESTLERS FROM
AROUND THE WORLD! FIRST, FROM THE GREAT JAPAN, THE WHITE ANGEL,
HAKUSHI!

[Hakushi steps forward and takes a bow. The protesters start talking
amongst themselves.]

Protester #1: You know, the Japanese really do make fine VCRs.

Pr. #2: Yes, and the workrate of most Japanese wrestlers is quite
excellent.

[They begin cheering Hakushi. Fuji is more than a little unnerved.]

Fuji: STOP CHEERING! WE WILL DESTROY YOU! NEXT, THE RUSSIAN
NIGHTMARE, NIKITA KOLOFF!

[Koloff steps forward and waves the Russian flag, and again the crowd
begins talking.]

Pr. #1: You know, I can understand why the poor man is so bitter. The
Cold War cost the Russian economy billions of dollars, which the US is
just now trying to put back in.

Pr. #2: Yes. It's a shame, really. I feel for him.

[The crowd starts cheering Koloff.]

Fuji: [Unsure of his position now.] NEXT, THE HELLRAISER FROM
HELSINKI, LUDVIG BORGA!

[Borga poses for the crowd.]

Pr. #1: Did you know that the Finnish hockey team has the best winning
percentage of any team in the Olympics or the World championships over
the past few years? What dedication.

Pr. #2: Yes. Any country with a hockey team *that* good can't be evil.

[Of course, they start cheering Borga.]

Fuji: YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE! FINALLY, JACQUES AND PIERRE, THE
QUEBECERS!

[And of course...]

Pr. #1: You know, with all the political tension in Canada over the
sovereignty vote for Quebec, as well as a large share of the national
debt and a continuing quest to maintain a distinct society, it's no
wonder that these poor guys feel so betrayed by the mainstream
Anglophone population.

Pr. #2: Indeed.

[And they cheer the Quebecers on.]

[We see a news reporter, taping the whole thing. We cut to his live
report.]

Reporter: Good evening. I'm Wally Tortolini, here at the main offices
of WACKO, where a contingent of so-called "Foreign Fanatics" --
apparently here in the USA on a good-will tour -- have stirred up
sympathy and support for their cause as they seek multiculturalism in
the US where none has existed before. The crowd here has taken to them
greatly, and it looks as though America has a new set of folk heroes on
it's hands. Back to you, Pam.

[We cut back to Fuji, in tears.]

Fuji: They're supposed to HATE us, not cheer us!

[A little kid runs up to Nikita.]

Kid: Will you sign my autograph book?

[Koloff signs it: "Regards to young capitalist pig. Sincerely, Nikita
Koloff." The young man runs off, joy in his eyes.]

Koloff: Comrade, this is sad.

Borga: Nikita is right. We must find a new target in the WCWF, and
destroy them! Now then, the last time we were in the WCWF, we all
remember who the great Defenders of Justice were, standing up for all
the stupid American ideals and lazy American workers! Rick Martel, Lex
Luger, Hulk Hogan...tooey! [Spits.] We will destroy them again, and
THEN the stupid fans will have to boo us!

Fuji: Good! Gentlemen, I will buy us tickets to Summerslam, where we
will humiliate and destroy our first target: "Made in the USA" Lex
Luger! To evil!

All: TO EVIL!

Crowd: TO EVIL!

Fuji: Those people make me sick...

[Fade out.]

Live! From the moon, it's WCWF Summerslam 1995!!!!

Tonight, an eight-man tournament to crown the new WCWF World champion,
plus matches for the held-up World tag and US tag belts, plus Steve
Regal challenges Shawn Michaels for the I-C title, plus Stan Hansen
defends the North American title against a mystery opponent! To
ringside!

[Alex Wright dances to a disco version of the Star Spangled Banner --
until a valve accidentally opens, depressurizing the area and causing
Wright to splatter all over the mini-dome he was in.]

[Howard Finkel is in the ring, ready to begin.]

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Lunar Arena on the Moon, and
welcome to SUMMERSLAM 1995!"

[The crowd of 138,988 pops like mad.]

"Please rise for the singing of the Canadian national anthem."

[Danny Bondaduce comes out to sing the anthem.]

[Editor's note: We blew our celebrity money renting the damn arena on
the moon. You expect Barbara Streisand for $2000, maybe?]

"Our opening contest is a first-round match in the tournament for the
WCWF World championship! It is scheduled for one fall!"

The Horsemen theme of Also Sprach Zarathustra comes over the PA.

"Coming down the aisle, representing the Four Horsemen, weighing 245
pounds...the Total Package...LEX LUUUUUUUUGGGGGERRRRR!"

Ric Flair leads his protege to the ring for the first round match.

"And his opponent..."

The Warrior's music shakes the arena.

"Coming down the aisle, representing..."

Finkel is cut off as the Ultimate One charges into the ring like a
locomotive and goes right after Luger and Flair. He sends Flair flying
over the top rope and ambushes Luger. He hits him with two right hands,
then tries a clothesline, but Luger ducks and responds with a knee-lift.
However, Warrior's abdomen is like a washboard, so he actually hurts his
knee doing so. Warrior clotheslines him down like a sack of garbage,
then picks him up and chokes him out. He tosses him into the corner
like a bigger sack of garbage, and Luger staggers out. He whips Luger
into the opposite corner, then backdrops him on the way out. Warrior
applies a bearhug, but Luger slams him to break it. The Warrior,
crazed, starts biting the Package on the forehead until Luger makes it
to the ropes. He whips Luger off the ropes and gives him a backdrop
into the lights. He tries the splash early, but Luger moves (of
course). Luger gives Warrior a series of boots to the gut, then a
piledriver which stuns the Warrior. Warrior climbs to his feet, and
Luger nails him with a jawbreaker. He whips him off the ropes and rips
his head off with a clothesline. 1....2....kick out. Luger applies a
sort of STF-hold, but Warrior fights his way to the ropes and breaks it.
Warrior whips Luger, and the two criss-cross the ring until Warrior
clotheslines Luger. Warrior picks him up and sends him face-first to
the corner. Then he brings him out of the corner with a cross-corner
whip. Again, and this time he tries a Stinger splash, but Luger moves.
Luger tries the Torture Rack, but Warrior slips out. Warrior is gaining
his second wind, and clotheslines Luger out of the ring, then follows
him out. He pounds on him outside the ring, then takes a shot at Flair
for good measure. Flair protests that he's crippled (with crutches as
proof). Warrior tosses Luger in and jaws with Flair some more. Warrior
gets on the apron and shakes the ropes, and the "crippled" Flair does a
three foot standing jump and smashes a crutch into Warrior's back.
Warrior falls into the ring while Flair yells "Hallelujah, I'm healed!"
Luger comes off the ropes with one last monster clothesline, then covers
for 1....2.....3.

"The winner of this bout...advancing to the semi-final round...LEX
LUGER!!!!"

Flair and Luger give a big "Whoo" and head back to the dressing room to
rest so they can meet the winner of the Steve Austin/Bret Hart match.

And now, standing by with a very special guest, here's Sean Mooney.

Sean: Thanks. I'm here with "Lightning" Sean Waltman, and his manager
Michael Hayes. Sean, tonight at Summerslam, you're going up against your
brother, Barry Horowitz...

Hayes: Half-brother, actually. I did the research.

SM: Okay, half-brother. But still blood relative. At any rate, you're
going against Barry and his new best friend, Skip Bodydonna. With the
US tag titles on the line. Can you let us in on who your mystery
partner is going to be tonight?

MH: Well, Seannie, let's let the music do the talkin'.

*BONG*

SM: Ah. I see.

SW: Who else *could* I pick...but the Undertaker?

[Undertaker, fresh from being resurrected, comes into the interview
area.]

UT: I have...returned.

MH: Yeah, and let me be the first to say what a damn fine job I did
bringing him back from the dead, pal!

SM: So I see. Then you obviously know of the threat that the Soultaker
poses tonight?

UT: I know all. I care nothing for anything but destroying him.
Titles are meaningless. Wins and losses are meaningless. I have no
purpose other than to rid the earth of him forever.

MH: Uh, he doesn't really mean that, as such. It's just a psych job.
[Waves his hand in front of UT's face.] Yoo-hoo, Danny, are you in
there?

[UT gives his manager a dirty look.]

SM: Ah. I see.

SW: [Nervously] But I'm sure that it won't hinder his performance
tonight, when we capture the US titles! [Goes to give Undertaker a high
five. UT just stares at him.]

UT: *Do not* presume to mock the power of the hereafter.

MH: Er, I guess creating life from death isn't quite an exact science
yet...

SM: Uhhhhhh...back to ringside.

"Our next contest is for the vacant United States tag team titles! It
is scheduled for one fall!"

*BONG*

"Coming down the aisle, to be led towards the ring by Michael
Hayes...here are 'Lightning' Sean Waltman, and his partner...THE
UNDERTAKER!!!!"

Crowd pops huge as the Grim Reaper and the Wrestler Formerly Known As
the 1-2-3 Kid make their way to ringside.

"And their opponents, representing the Bodydonna ranch in San Diego,
California...Skip and Barry!"

The Bodydonnas come running happily down to ringside, and we're
underway. Sort of. Because in the audience is...the Soultaker.
Undertaker sees him and immediately goes into the crowd after him.
Waltman is screaming at him to ignore it and come wrestle, but
Undertaker is on a mission. Sean has no choice but to wrestle solo
while Undertaker brawls with his nemesis. Sean rolls into the ring with
the Bodydonnas, and we're underway for real. Barry and Sean exchange
blows in the middle of the ring, and fight into the corner where a
crazed Horowitz hammers on Waltman with rights and lefts. Barry whips
Sean to the opposite corner, but it's reversed mid-whip by Waltman.
Waltman charges in, but Barry grabs the top rope and leaps over Waltman,
landing on his feet. Waltman quickly spins around and hiptosses
Horowitz, however. Barry rolls to his corner and tags in Skip, and the
double-team commences. Sort of. Sean hiptosses Skip, then Barry, then
Skip again, then Barry again.

Meanwhile, in the crowd, Undertaker chokeslams Soultaker on the
concrete, pushing spectators out of the way with no regard for human
life. Soultaker grabs a fan as a hostage, but Undertaker has no care
for anything but total annhiliation of the evil one and pays no mind.

Back in the ring, after the series of hiptosses (hiptossae?), Barry
tries a cross-body, but Waltman ducks and Barry ends up on his own
partner. The two quickly get to their feet, but Waltman
double-dropkicks them down again. Waltman goes nuts with a series of
spinning leg lariats, then rams their heads together. Waltman tries to
take on both at once, but 2-on-1 is too much, and soon the fitness gurus
gain the upper hand again. They whip him off the ropes, but put their
heads down for a double-backdrop too soon. Waltman catches Barry with a
small package, but Skip breaks it up quickly. Both Skip and Barry
hammer on Waltman with left hands. Barry gives Waltman a cross-corner
whip, straight into the pole. Waltman hits and bounces back to the
center of the ring, out cold.

The Undertaker now has Soultaker in a compromising position, as he
smashes camera equipment over his head. He wraps a cable around his
throat and drags him up the stairs to the second level, then hangs him
from there.

Back in the ring, Waltman makes it to his feet and fights back, but when
he rolls to the corner, no Undertaker. He turns around and walks right
into a flying forearm from Horowitz. Barry whips Sean off the ropes,
but Sean tries a sunset flip. Barry simply falls back and makes the tag
to Skip, however. Skip pounds on Sean mercilessly, then press slams
him. He covers for 1...2...kick out. He pounds on Sean some more, then
tries another press slam, but Sean reverses it into an inside cradle on
the way down, for 1....2...but Skip made the tag. Barry comes in and
gives his half-brother a perfect backbreaker for another 2-count. He
picks him up and whips him, but it's reversed and Waltman nails the
spinning kick. He gets 1.....2....but Skip breaks it up. He gets
superkicked for his troubles. Waltman climbs to the top rope and comes
off with a flying legdrop. He only gets 1 before Skip breaks up the pin
again.

Back outside the ring, Undertaker thinks he has choked out Soultaker, so
drops him into the crowd and starts back to the ring.

Barry whips Sean off the ropes, but again it's reversed and this time
Sean rolls him up, only to have Skip slingshot over the top rope and
nearly take his head off with a clothesline. And that's the end of
Waltman. The 'Donnas hammer away freely with rights and lefts, then
whip him off the ropes helplessly and double-backdrop him. Waltman is
toast. He has fought them as long as he can and can fight no more.
Skip picks up the lifeless ragdoll that was once a wrestler and rips his
head off with the hardest clothesline anyone has ever seen.

Undertaker is now almost to the ring.

Skip places the limp form of Waltman on the top rope, and follows him
up, delivering a top-rope Frankensteiner. Waltman is gone.

Undertaker is on the ring apron.

Horowitz climbs up the top rope next, and comes off with a moonsault.
Waltman is fish bait.

Undertaker starts into the ring to make the save.

Barry gets 1....

Undertaker is about to make the save.

...2.....

Undertaker makes the save. He picks up Horowitz by the hair, and lifts
him into tombstone position, slinging him over his shoulder. Skip tries
to help, but Undertaker casually grabs him by the throat and chokeslams
him. He tombstones the helpless Horowitz, and, crossing the arms over
his chest, covers for 1....2.....3!

"Your winners....and NEEEEEWWWWWW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
SEAN WALTMAN AND THE UNDERTAKER!"

Undertaker helps his partner up, and hands him both belts. He goes off
to find the Soultaker.

However, after leaving to find him, Raven and Steve Richards make their
way to the ring, as Skip and Horowitz are recovering. Raven takes the
microphone.

"Awwww, lookit what we found. The little Kid all by himself, with no
Undertaker to protect him."

Richards rolls into the ring and begins slapping around the helpless
Waltman.

"Hey, you know what, Steve and myself are challenging you and your
freaky partner to a match for your US tag titles next week! Problem
with that?"

Richards sits Waltman up and shakes him like a ragdoll, causing Waltman
to shake his head.

"Good! That's what we like to hear. Bodydonnas...he's all yours."

The reps of the Extreme leave, allowing the Bodydonnas to pound on
Waltman for about another five minutes, until the Usual Gang of Idiots
can intervene.

Now, Sean Mooney is apparently standing by with Steve Austin.

[We cut to Mooney, with, yes, Steve Austin and his new buddy Jake
Roberts.]

SM: Steve, in what must be your biggest night, you're facing Bret Hart
for the right to meet Lex Luger in the semi-final round of the World
title tournament. Any thoughts?

Jake: Does the anaconda have thoughts before destroying its victim?
Do the clouds have thoughts before smiting the wicked with lightning?
Does poison have thoughts before slowly snuffing out the life of its
victim?

Steve: I think not, Jake.

SM: Okay, I'll take that as a no. What about strategy?

JR: Death. Insidious, slow, painful. With much pleasure.

SA: And you can call me *Steven* Austin from now on, Mooney. And my
associate will be referred to as *Jacob* Roberts. Our employer prefers
it that way.

SM: What the heck is that supposed to mean? Your employer?

SA: Are you computer literate, Mooney? Ever used a laptop? Ever been
to New *YORK*? Made any donations to the Heart *FOUNDATION*? Get the
message yet?

[Roberts and Austin make their way to the ring.]

SM: Um, actually I don't...

"This next contest is a quarterfinal match in the World championship
tournament! It is scheduled for one fall."

The Hollywood Blonds' pounding theme begins playing.

"Coming down the aisle, with Jake 'The Snake' Roberts..."

[Roberts snatches the microphone away]

"You will refer to me as Jacob Roberts from now on. And allow me to
introduce my associate, from Hollywood...STEVEN AUSTIN!"

[Roberts hands the microphone back.]

"And his opponent...representing the Bodydonnas...from Calgary
Alberta...BRET 'THE HITMAN' HART!"

The Hitman strides purposefully into the ring, looking buff and trim
after three weeks at the ranch with Skip and Sunny. Austin and Hart
shake hands, then lock up. Hart uses a quick armdrag to take down
Austin, then applies a side headlock, which leads into another takedown.
Austin fights out and the two wrestle to the corner, where Austin slaps
Hart. He goes into a waistlock, which is reversed by Hart into yet
another takedown. Austin is getting frustrated already. Hart puts
Austin into a hammerlock & 3/4 nelson combination. After a minute or
two in that, Austin spins out of it, into a drop toehold on Hart. One
knee to the head later and Austin has the upper hand again. Hart gets
up, but Steven hits a snapmare and corkscrew elbow. Austin picks him up
and whips him off the ropes, putting him into a sleeper. Hart easily
breaks with a jawbreaker. Hart goes back to the hammerlock, then into
an armbar. Austin uses good ol' American kicks to the gut to break.
Hart initiates yet another waistlock, and the two reverse it a few times
each before Austin scores the takedown. Back to the arm wringer, then a
takedown using Hart's greasy hair. Another headlock, and Hart pushes
him off into the ropes, and snaps off a drop toehold. Back to the
armbar. Austin slams Hart to escape, but Bret reverses into an inside
cradle for the first two-count. Back to the armbar, this time by
Austin. Hart tries a different tactic to break, by jumping up and using
a victory roll. Austin rolls to the corner, and Hart goes right back to
the headlock. Austin whips him into the ropes, and Hart hits a
cross-body for another 2 count. Another armdrag, and back to the
hammerlock. Austin is getting annoyed with Hart's constant slow style,
and pushes him into the ropes again, this time kneeing him in the gut.
He slams Hart, but Bret again reverses to an inside cradle for 2.

Austin is getting totally frustrated with this style, and Hart knows it.
Bret goes right back to the hammerlock, but this time Austin gets to his
feet and whips Bret into the ropes, hitting him with a wicked-looking
double-axehandle to the jaw when he's on the rebound. With Bret
temporarily out, Austin proceeds to kick away at him, then grind a knee
into his throat. Jacob approves. Austin chokes Bret on the second rope
while Jacob yells religious threats at him. Hart fights back with kicks
to Austin's gut, but when he gets up and charges him, Austin merely
ducks and Hart sails over the top rope. After he climbs back on the
apron, Austin suplexes him in for 2. He gives him a few well-placed
rights to the head, then picks him up and applies -- of all things -- a
heart punch. Snapmare. He blatantly chokes Hart out again until the
ref forces the break, then climbs to the top rope and misses...whatever.
It doesn't matter because the Hitman moves. He tries a side salto, but
Hart reverses. Hart nails the leg sweep, but misses the elbow off the
second rope. The two make it to their feet and fight to the corner,
where they exchange lefts and rights. Austin tries a cross-corner whip,
but Hart reverses and backdrops him on the way back out. Hart hiptosses
Austin, then another cross-corner whip. Austin reverses, but gets
creamed by a clothesline. Hart with a slam, and a dropkick. Austin
gets back up, and Hart knees him in the gut, then kneelifts him to the
mat again.

Roberts jumps up on the apron in a panic as Hart applies the
Sharpshooter! Hart releases the hold and goes after Roberts, as Austin
tries a high knee lift on Hart. Of course, Hart moves and Austin hits
Roberts. The referee admonishes Roberts and Austin on proper
conduct...when suddenly someone from the audience tosses a laptop
computer in the ring! Austin waffles Hart with it, and the ref turns
around for 1...2...3!

"The winner...advancing to the semi-finals...STEVEN AUSTIN!"

Now, with the analysis of the tournament so far, here's Missy Hyatt!

[Hyatt is standing in front of a board with the names of the eight men
in the tourney.]

MH: *Giggle* Thanks, guys! As you can see by the following chart,
Steven Austin will face off against Lex Luger in the next round of the
tournament:

Luger _____
Warrior Luger
_____
Austin _____ Austin
Hart Winner

Simmons _____ v. ----- World Champion
Sandman Winner
_____ Winner
Vader _____ Winner
Williams

Back to you!

Now, with a special interview with none other than the Soultaker, here's
Eric Bischoff!

[Eric, wearing a "Hulk Rules" T-Shirt, is seen in one of the mini-domes
floating around the lunar module.]

EB: Well, Mr. Soultaker, it would appear that you have the Undertaker
chasing you again.

ST: I am not afraid of him. I destroyed him once, and this imitator
will be destroyed even easier.

[A dark figure walks in.]

ST: Ah! Undertaker, I see you have come to be destroyed again.
Welcome to my parlour.

[The dark figure keeps coming. Whoever it is looks pissed.]

ST: Shall we do this fast, or slow, or...you are not him.

[It is Dr. Doom.]

DD: No. I am not. And soon you shall be no more, either.

ST: But...but I thought you would be on my side!

DD: You are the only one as powerful as myself. Thus you are my enemy.
Farewell.

ST: I shall return and have vengeance! I am the Soultaker! I WILL NOT
BE DEFEATED!!!!

DD: You will be dead.

[Doom, faster than anything can follow, lashes out with a metallic fist
and smashes a hole in the glass dome. Suddenly, the Soultaker falls to
the ground, changed back to Kama. The ghost who originally possessed
that body is seen floating, screaming for help. Kama crawls out of the
dome, to safety. Eric Bischoff's head explodes. The dome shatters, and
we see the ghost of the Soultaker float off into space, quickly
dissipating, never, ever, ever to be seen again.]

[Kama is crawling on the floor, totally confused.]

Kama: Who...who are you?

[Dr. Doom pulls off his bronze mask. Kama gasps.]

Kama: You...it's you! Who would've ever thought that it would be YOU?

[Dr. Doom punches Kama in the back of the head to put him out again,
then drags him back to safety as the dome finishes destroying itself.]

Doom: Now then, let's have a little...conversation, shall we?

Back to ringside...

"This next contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring to
my left, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and representing the Calgary
Connection...OWEN HART!"

Owen acknowledges the crowd's cheers.

"And his opponent..."

"Dream Girl" by FM begins playing.

"To be accompanied by Woman...from Philadephia, representing the Extreme
Team...TOMMY DREAMER!"

Quite a few of the females of the audience squeal with delight.
Dreamer makes his way into the ring, and while the ref pats him down,
Raven and Steve Richards run into the ring! Richards nails Hart from
behind, and Raven smashes a chair into his knee! Owen staggers to his
feet, and Woman pulls a Singapore cane out of her dress [Don't ask me, I
just write this stuff...] and tosses it to Raven, who proceeds to smash
it into the back of Owen's knee. Dos Gringos Locos exit the ring and
leave, and the match is on, with Owen already limping.

Dreamer moves him to the corner and chops away to start, and Owen
collapses right away. Dreamer gets a two-count. Owen seems to suck it
up from somewhere, however, and gives Dreamer a crotchshot to stun him,
then snapmares him out of the corner. Owen climbs to the top, but his
knee can't hold on and he falls off again. Another two-count, and this
time Dreamer goes right to a figure-four. Smart move, because Owen is
in excrutiating pain. He almost blacks out a few times, with Dreamer
registering a two-count each time. Finally, Hart makes it to the ropes
to force the break. Dreamer tries the figure-four again, but Owen
shoves him to the corner, then pops up. He suplexes the mildly stunned
Dreamer, but Dreamer is alert enough to simply land on his feet. He
rolls up Owen for another two-count.

They fight to the corner, and Owen tries to take control with a series
of rights. Dreamer hiptosses his opponent, but this time it's Owen's
turn to land on his feet, albeit painfully due to the knee. Owen tries
a cross-corner whip, but it's reversed. Dreamer picks up Owen and whips
him to the corner again, knocking the wind out of him. Dreamer
viciously rakes Owen's face on the ropes, then rams him headfirst to the
turnbuckle. Another 2 count. Owen rolls to the corner to seek
sanctuary, but Woman slams her purse into his head while the ref is
distracted. Another 2 count. Dreamer picks him up and sends him
shoulder-first to the post. Another 2 count. Dreamer is getting really
frustrated now. He rubs Owen's face on the mat, and Owen is now a
bloody mess. He sends Owen to the corner, and hammers on him with 5
rights. He whips him to the opposite corner and backdrops him out.
Another 2 count.

Dreamer sustains the offense by dropping an elbow on Hart, then whips
him off the ropes. Owen tries a leapfrog, but the knee gives out again
when he hits the mat. Dreamer goes nuts on the knee, using most of Ric
Flair's knee-busting techniques. Knee-to-knee drop, draping it over the
ropes, stomping on it, you name it. The knee is looking horribly
swollen now. Owen tries to fight back, but can no longer even stand.
Steve DiSalvo and Brian Pillman try to rush out and help, but Raven and
Steve Richards stand guard and prevent them from stopping the slaughter.
Dreamer brings Owen to the corner, and Owen fights back with chops, but
Dreamer simply kicks him in the knee to end the offense. Dreamer climbs
to the top rope, and Owen somehow drags himself with him to try
anything, but the knee again gives way and he falls off. Dreamer comes
off with a flying knee. Dreamer climbs to the opposite top rope, and
again Owen foolishly drags himself to his feet and up the corner. But
this time he merely shakes the ropes, sending Dreamer crotchfirst onto
the top rope! Dreamer falls off, and Owen nails a moonsault! He covers
for 1......2.....but Woman puts his foot on the ropes. Dreamer is
reeling now, and Owen picks him up for a Northern Lights suplex to
finish the job, but on the way up the knee gives way one last time.
They fall to the mat, and Dreamer slaps on the figure-four and holds it
until Owen blacks out from pain and the ref stops the match.

"The winner, as a result of a submission...TOMMY DREAMER!"

After the match, the entire Calgary Connection storms the ring, sending
Dreamer and the Gringos running. They get Owen onto the stretcher
before any further damage is done.

And now, before our next World title tournament quaterfinal match, let's
go back with Craig DeGeorge, standing by with Ron Simmons...

Craig: I'm here with Ron Simmons, and his newest friend, Mr. Hughes.

Hughes: Actually, now that my application for membership in the Varsity
Club has been approved, I'd prefer to be called Curtis Hughes.

Craig: Curtis it is. Any thoughts on the Sandman, Ron?

Simmons: Sandman, it's just a shame that you have to be such a
short-sighted bigot. I could've respected you in a different world.
But unfortunately I have to kill you now.

[Simmons scowls and leaves, with Hughes right behind him.]

Craig: Back to ringside.

"This contest is scheduled for one fall, with the winner advancing to
the next round of the World title tournament! In the ring to my left,
representing the Extreme Team...the Sandman!"

"And his..."

Finkel is cut off as Simmons charges into the ring, pounding on Sandman
before the bell even rings. He nails four stiff forearm shots, then
clotheslines him over the top rope. He grabs a chair and breaks it over
his head. Sandman rolls into the ring again, and as Simmons rolls in
Sandman climbs to the top rope and legdrops him. Sandman suplexes
Simmons, and the two roll back out to the floor again. They exchange
rights, and Simmons ducks a right and atomic drops him on the floor.
Well, sort of. He actually drops him on the railing. He fires away
with a few rights, then rolls into the ring. Hughes comes over and
clotheslines Sandman off the rails, much to the delight of the crowd.
He tosses him back into the ring, where Simmons executes a neckbreaker.
2 count. Simmons tosses Sandman back over the top, to the floor again
and distracts the referee. Hughes uses the moment to smash a chair on
Sandman, then tosses the chair into the ring. Hughes then grabs the
ref's attention, and Simmons piledrives Sandman on the chair.

Sandman rolls back to the floor again, where Hughes DDT's him on the
concrete. Hughes headbutts him for good measure, then tosses him back
into the lion's den. Simmons piledrives him, this time without the
chair, then climbs to the top. As Sandy staggers to his feet, Simmons
comes off with a shoulderblock that nearly tears his head off. 2 count,
then Simmons picks him up. Sandman uses a few ineffective rights to try
and salvage his dignity, but Simmons clotheslines him so hard that he
falls back and knocks out the referee. Hughes throws another chair into
the ring, and Simmons places Sandman on the top rope, then piledrives
him off the top rope, onto the chair! Hughes revives the referee, and
Simmons whips Sandman off the ropes and nails the spinebuster. He spits
on Sandman, then covers for 1....2.....3 as the crowd pops like mad.

"The winner, advancing to the next round, RON SIMMONS!"

As Sandman heads back to the dressing room, Craig DeGeorge will try to
interview him.

Craig: Sandman! What happened out there?

Sandman: [Spits out a tooth.] Lack of preparation, Mooney!

Craig: I'm Craig DeGeorge!

[Sandman backhands Craig.]

Sandman: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHO YOU ARE! You think you're so damn
smart because you beat me this time, Simmons, but rest assured I'll do
everything in my power to make sure you don't WIN MY FUCKING TITLE!

[Heads back to the dressing room as Dos Gringos Locos make their way to
the ring.]

Craig: Uh, how about some words, guys?

Raven: I've got a secret.

Craig: Oh, wonderful. What would that be?

Richards: Oh, come on, Craig, you know if we told you it wouldn't be a
secret anymore, now would it?

Craig: Uh-huh. Can't wait.

"This next contest is a tag team attraction, scheduled for one fall.
Making their way towards the ring, representing the Extreme Team, here
are Raven and Steve Richards, collectively known as Dos Gringos Locos!"

The fans, who are by point thoroughly sick of seeing the Extreme Team,
boo them mercilessly.

"And their opponents...representing the Calgary Connection...here are
Davey Boy Smith and the Dynamite Kid...THE BRITISH BULLDOGS!!!!"

The Gringos attack the Bulldogs before the bell, and pound them until
the ref signals for the start of the match. Smith and Richards start
out the match, and lock up. They fight to the corner and break.
Richards nails a left, but Smith hiptosses him. He whips Richards to
the corner, but it's reversed, sending Smith to the corner. Richards
follows in, but gets sunset flipped for a one-count. Smith hiptosses
Richards, then follows with a flying head scissor. He flips Richards
back to his own corner, and Raven is tagged in.

They lock up, and jockey for position to the corner, where a shoving
match ensues. Raven kicks Smith in the ribs, sending him out to the
floor. Smith rolls back in, and Raven proceeds to kick away. He tries
a whip, but it's reversed. On the way back, Raven tries a kick to the
gut, but Smith catches his foot and gives him a crescent kick to the
head. He tags in the Dynamite Kid. Raven goes for an arm wringer, but
the Kid kips up several times. The two criss-cross, and the Kid hits a
Japanese armdrag for a surprise two-count. Smith comes back in with an
arm bar on Raven. Raven elbows out of it and tags in Richards. Smith
welcomes him back with a hiptoss. The Kid comes back in, and challenges
Richards to a test of strength. After bringing the weaker Richards to
his knees, the Kid actually walks up Richards until he's standing on
Steve's shoulders, then monkey flips him across the ring. Richards gets
back up and the Dynamite One flying headscissors him, then when he gets
back up he nails a senton. Smith is tagged in, and *he* tries a flying
headscissor, but Raven clotheslines him from the ring apron on the way
up.

Raven tags in and gives Smith a modified backbreaker, ala Bobby Eaton.
He tags Richards back in, who comes in with an elbow off the top rope.
Two count. Smith crawls to his feet, and Richards gives him a running
knee from behind, sending him out to the floor. Raven gives him a cheap
shot on the floor, then tosses Smith back in. Steve tags Raven back in,
and he kicks Smith in the gut. Raven tags Steve, then whips Smith off
the ropes and knees him in the gut, and after he hits the mat Richards
drops an elbow on him. Richards picks him up and the two fight to the
corner, where Smith nails a series of right to fight out. Raven tags
in, hammers on Smith, then tags Steve back in again. Smith fights back
one last time, and this time somersaults to his corner and makes the hot
tag.

The Dynamite Kid is a House of Fire (tm). He rams their heads together,
and it's a Pier-Six Brawl (tm). Smith clotheslines Raven to the mat,
then presses Kid over his head and drops him on Raven for 1....2....but
Richards makes the save. It's an even bigger Pier-Six Brawl (tm) now,
and in the confusion no one notices Tommy Dreamer, who has been hiding
under the ring, roll into the ring and hit Smith in the knee with (do I
really need to say it?) a Singapore cane. Raven rolls up the stunned
Smith for the three-count.

"Here are your winners...LOS GRINGOS LOCOS!"

*BONG*

The lights suddenly go out, and Raven and Richards look like they're
ready to piss themselves. The Undertaker stands blocking the dressing
room, looking mighty upset at their treatment of his partner earlier that
night. They start to back away towards the ring, but out of the
audience on the other side of the ring comes...KING KONG BUNDY! Raven
doesn't even see him coming, and Bundy avalanches him against the ring
apron before he can even move. Raven flops to the floor, and Bundy
splashes him there. Waltman emerges from the dressing room with the
microphone and stands beside Undertaker.

"Hey, Gringos, how does a little taste of your own medicine feel? Now
are *you* sure that you wanna face the United States tag team champions
next week? You'd better bring someone bigger than Bundy with you,
because we're gonna KICK YOUR ASSES otherwise!"

Bundy walks over the fallen Gringos, stepping on them, and heads back to
the dressing room with his stablemates as Vader and co. make their way
to the ring for the next tournament match.

"This is the final quarterfinal match in the World title tournament.
Coming down the aisle, with Paul E. Dangerously and 911...here is
three-time former WCWF World champion BIG VAN VADER!"

Raven and Richards, really wasted now, push Dangerously out of the way
to get out of the ringside area. Big mistake.

911 casually grabs the two punks and chokeslams them on the concrete
with one hand. He almost literally tosses them like sacks of garbage
back to the dressing room.

"And his opponent..."

Oh, yeah, there's still a match to be had. Thanks, I had forgotten.

"...representing the New Hardcore Alliance, to be led towards the ring
by Terry Funk, here is STEVE 'DR. DEATH' WILLIAMS!"

Crowd could really care less at this point, having seen 911 destroy the
Gringos moments before, so forgive them if they're less than enthused
about this match.

The two brutes have a staredown to start, then start a shoving match.
They finally lock up, then break and shove each other again. Another
lockup, and this time Vader pushes Williams to the ropes, then releases
and bows to him, mocking the Japanese tradition. Williams flies out
with a right to the jaw, and Vader retaliates with a roundhouse, which
Williams ducks under. They go to the corner, and Williams kicks him in
the gut, but Vader wipes him out with a series of blows. Williams
escapes to the other corner, but Vader comes flying in with a Stinger
splash, then destroys him again, boxing his ears. Williams staggers out
of the corner in a daze, and Vader decapitates him with a clothesline.
Vader picks him up, but Williams ducks another clothesline and starts
whaling on him with rights. Vader actually falls to his knees, and 911
looks concerned. Williams kicks away at his head, and that takes Vader
all the way to the mat. 911 looks pissed. Dr. D picks him up and tries
a suplex, but the effort hurts his back. He stomps on Vader's head
again, but Vader is rapidly recovering. And on his feet. Williams
comes off the ropes full steam ahead, but nobody moves an inch. He
comes off the ropes again, and again neither Vader nor Williams can be
moved. A third time, and this time the shoulderblock is turned into a
quick belly-to-belly that flattens Steve.

Vader uses an elbowdrop to further knock the wind out his opponent, then
simply stands on his head. The ref warns him, so Vader gets off and
climbs to the second rope for a pump splash! Williams starts to get up,
but 911 reaches into the ring and holds his leg down and Vader hits it!
He gets 1.....2.....picks him up! He goes to the second rope again, and
tries it again, but this time Williams lifts his knees. However, it
doesn't particularly matter whether you have 400 pounds of Vader dropped
on your ribs, or your knees. It fucking hurts either way. Williams is
basically crunched into a little ball, and Vader picks him up like a
child. He whips him off the ropes and clotheslines him. He puts the
wounded warrior in a Japanese leglock, again mocking Williams'
background, and slaps him in the face while in the hold. Williams makes
it to the ropes, but his knees are injured from the pump splash and the
leglock. Vader knows it and kicks him in the knees, knocking him back
down. He puts the leglock on again, until Dr. Death can kick at Vader's
head to break the hold.

Vader kicks Williams in the gut a few times, then tosses him to the
corner. He boxes his ears again, and now Williams fights back, with a
series of shots of his own. Vader falls, and Williams drops an elbow.
Both men are exhausted and out on the mat, however. Vader makes it up
first, and drops an elbow for 1......2.....kick out. Williams gouges
Vader in the eye, and tries a clothesline, but Vader ducks and it's
nighty-night for the referee. 911 rolls into the ring and chokeslams
Williams into oblivion while Vader tries to revive the ref. Dangerously
comes in swinging with the phone, but Williams tosses 911 at the last
second and that's who gets hit. Vader and 911 collide, and Williams
clotheslines 911 and the manager out of the ring, then picks up Vader
for the Oklahoma Stampede for 1......2......KICK OUT! Vader is up and
PISSED and Williams doesn't know what else to do. He clotheslines Vader
over the top rope, then suplexes him back in, but Vader just gets up
again. Williams charges Vader, but Vader simply catches him and
powerslams him for 1......2.....picks him up AGAIN! Vader climbs to the
top rope while Terry Funk screams at Williams. Williams is out in the
center of the ring, and Vader comes off with a HUGE Vadersault....and
WILLIAMS MOVES! He was FAKING! Vader is stunned and Williams rolls him
up for 1.....2.....3!!!!!!!

"The winner of the match, advancing to the semi-finals...STEVE
WILLIAMS!!!!"

The crowd is in shock at the stunning upset they have just witnessed, as
the favorite to win it all goes out in the first round.

Let's go back for an interview with Williams and manager Funk...

Vince MacMahon: My god, what a display of brutality we have...

Funk: SHUT UP, MACMAHON! I told EVERYONE in the WCWF that this was the
toughest son of a bitch you could ever lay eyes on, and we weren't
kidding! Vader, and your sissy friends tried to beat Dr. Death 3-on-1,
but WE STILL BEAT YOU!

Williams: It just goes to show that there's only three certainties in
life: Death, taxes, and getting your ASS kicked by the Hardcore
Alliance!

[We cut to Missy Hyatt, standing by with a tournament update.]

Missy: Thanks, guys! As you can see, the tournament shapes up like
this...

Luger _____
Warrior Luger
_____
Austin _____ Austin
Hart Winner

Simmons _____ v. ----- World Champion
Sandman Simmons
_____ Winner
Vader _____ Williams
Williams


So Lex Luger will meet Steve Austin, and Ron Simmons will meet Steve
Williams, with the winners of those matches meeting in the finals to
determine the REAL World champion! Oh, this is just too exciting!
Back to you!

And now a special presentation by the Varsity Club...

It was late August, and Stephen Regal walked through the thick summer
air toward his hotel. The night was heavy and unbearably humid, and Regal
would surely have been more confortable in a taxi. Yet he walked anyway. He
needed time to think.
His thoughts weren't all bad, he had just pinned Alex Wright after
delivering a resounding powerslam. The problem for Regal was that his
victories were getting him nowhere fast. Regal's career like the atmosphere
surrounding him was decidely stagnant.
"He was spending a lot of time by himself," said a female companion
who had traveled with Regal early this summer. "Every time we got to a new
city, I wanted to go out and see the town, but his heart wasn't in it. He was
not in it. He was becoming very frustrated about his career. He felt he wasn't
going anyplace."
"I remember one night he got really angry at his whole life. He was
talking to me about wrestling and all of a sudden he just went nuts. He started
yelling about how life was unfair and how he'd never gotten a chance to show
what he could do. I think he would have quit wrestling right then and there
if I hadn't been able to calm him down."
It's a good thing Regal regained his senses. Now just a few months afterhis career seemed destined to run forever on a treadmill, Regal is part of
one the top stables in the WCWF (The Varsity Club).
Thank Backlund for forming the Varsity Club!!

As Backlund remembers it...."We didn't celebrate that night. It took
a day or so for all of it to sink in, and then Regal and I went out with
to a quiet restaurant." No champage soaked blasts for this guy. "We had to
think long and hard .....was Regal ready to give evrything he had to his
career?" "I have had him in training for awhile now.....Intense training...
According to Regal "Training like I never did before, I wasn't sure if I
was going to make it, but what I was sure of was that I wanted to get in shape
for a couple of matches....Now, I have no choice!"

Indeed not. At least not until he faces the Intercontential Champion
Shawn Michaels at Summerslam.

[fade back to the arena.]

"Ladies and gentlemen...this contest is for the INTERCONTINENTAL
CHAMPIONSHIP!"

Crowd pops like mad as "Sexy Boy" begins playing.

"Coming down the aisle, representing the Bodydonna Ranch in California,
to be led towards by Sunny...here is the Intercontinental
champion....SHAWN MICHAELS!"

Michaels and Sunny enter the ring and pose, mainly for their own
benefit.

"And his opponent...and challenger...from Manchester,
England...representing the Varsity Club...to be led towards the ring by
Mr. Bob Backlund...here is LORD STEVEN REGAL!"

Regal and Backlund make their way to the ring, where Regal gets some
last minute words of encouragement from his manager/teacher, and the
title match is underway.

The two stare each other down, with Regal seemingly disgusted at the
thought of even touching Michaels, and they begin to stalk each other.
A shoving match ensues, and Regal starts out with some right hands.
Regal puts the champ in a headlock, and Michaels shoves him off the
ropes, but Regal hits a high cross body for 1....2....kick out. More
shoving follows, and Regal goes back to the headlock, which seems to be
the plan Backlund has devised. Michaels tries to shove him off again,
but Regal holds on. They go to the ropes, and Michaels breaks with some
right hands of his own. Michaels whips him off the ropes, and they
criss-cross, with Michaels leapfrogging Regal, then admiring himself in
the JumboTron screen in front of him. Until Regal blindsides him from
behind and sends him over the top rope. Sunny gives Michaels a hug for
encouragement, but when Michaels gets back on the apron Regal puts him
in a headlock again, then drags him over the top, still holding the
headlock. Regal holds on for another minute, until Michaels fights to
the corner and shoulderblocks him in the gut to break.

Michaels tries a cross-corner whip, but it's reversed. Michaels goes to
the corner and Regal charges in, but Shawn leapfrogs his charge and
stings Lord Steven with a series of uppercuts. Michaels does the
cross-corner whip again, and again it's reversed, and Michaels tries the
same spot again, but this time Regal doesn't charge in, and it's Regal
who lands the uppercuts this time. Regal slaps the side headlock on
again, and actually gets 1....2....kick out. Michaels rolls it over for
1....2....kick out. Regal gets 3 more two-counts until both men fight
to their feet. Michaels pushes him off the ropes, but makes Cardinal
Error #1 and puts his head down, which allows Steven to small package
him for 1....2....kick out. Back to the headlock, and Michaels quickly
whips him off the ropes, then uses his momentum to send him over the top
rope. Regal, stunned, climbs back on the apron, and Michaels lays into
him with rights, then pulls him into the ring and whips him off the
ropes for a backbreaker. 1.....2....kick out. Barely. Regal is
reeling, and Michaels puts him in the sleeper to capitalize. Regal
fights out by whipping Michaels off the ropes, but Regal puts *his* head
down, and Shawn taps him on the shoulder. When he looks
up....SUPERKICK!

The crowd is yelling for Shawn to cover, but Shawn calls Sunny to the
apron and gives her a big kiss, playing to the crowd. The ref is
distracted by this display...which allows someone in a trenchcoat to run
into the ring and dump a pitcher of water on Regal, reviving him! The
stranger wakes up the challenger, then runs out again. Regal is
re-energized now, after being given a second chance. Michaels turns
around, and Regal unloads with European uppercuts that stagger the
champ. Michaels, desperate, whips Regal off the ropes, but he uses a
flying forearm which hits dead-on, and knocks Michaels out of the ring.
Regal follows him out, and smashes his head into the stairs. He follows
with some more uppercuts, then tosses him back into the ring. He
slingshots himself in with a shoulderblock to Michaels for
1....2.....kick out. He whips Michaels off the ropes and boot him in
the gut, then kneelifts him, then atomic drops him. He comes off with a
devastating high knee to the face which should have finished Michaels,
but Shawn gets pulled out by Sunny. The stranger comes over and rams
their heads together, however. Michaels climbs to the apron in a daze,
and Regal comes off the ropes from the opposite side, slamming another
high knee into Michael's back, which sends him flying headfirst to the
railing, which he crashes into with a thud heard 'round the arena.
Michaels is bleeding profusely from the bump, and the stranger tosses
him into the ring as Regal covers for 1.........2........3!!!!!!

"Here is your winner...and NEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!
LORD STEVEN REGAL!"

Backlund is literally jumping for joy as he grabs the I-C belt and rolls
into the ring, strapping it around the waist of his first champion in
the WCWF. The duo leave the ring to go celebrate as Michaels wonders
what went wrong.

He gets to his feet, and the stranger rolls into the ring, pulling off
the hat and trenchcoat to reveal...who else?...

MARTY JANNETTY!

Jannetty soaks up the cheers of the crowd, and doesn't even bother
attacking Michaels post-match, having caused him enough trouble today.
He leaves the ring again without incident, having made his point.

And now...

"This next contest is the first semi-final in the WCWF World title
tournament! It is scheduled for one fall."

The Hollywood Blonds music is played first as Steven Austin comes down
to ringside, alone this time, followed by Lex Luger, with Flair. We've
had the intros last round, so we'll skip them this time.

We begin with a lockup, to the corner. They make their way back to the
center of the ring again, and again lockup, and back to the corner.
They break, and Luger hits a series of Flair-taught chops, as Austin
responds with some of his own. Luger flattens Austin with a right hand,
then boots him in the gut. He press slams Austin, then misses that
stupid looking elbowdrop from 60 feet in the air. Luger rolls out of
the ring for a quick consultation with Flair, then rolls back in. They
lockup again, and Austin hammerlocks Luger. He releases, and knees
Luger to the gut a few times. He follows with more chops, then a kick
to Luger's knee. They fight to the corner and exchange chops, until
Austin gives Luger the 6" whip to the other corner. Luger calmly walks
out and DESTROYS Austin with a clothesline as he charges in. Austin
drops to his knees, too shocked to even fall properly, and Luger smashes
five right hands to his head. Luger picks him up by the hair, and
nonchalantly clotheslines him over the top rope.

Luger follows him out, having not even broken a sweat, and smashes him
headfirst to the railing, drawing blood. Luger rolls in, and as Austin
climbs to the apron, Luger suplexes him in. Legdrop for
1.....2.....kick out. Luger with more punishing right hands, until
Austin fights back with some of his own. Luger, however, knees him in
the gut and gives him the ol' bootlaces to the eyes treatment.
Snapmare, chinlock. Luger does that time honored Flair trick with the
feet on the ropes, of course bringing the crowd to its feet against
Luger. The ref sees it and forces the break, so Luger drops an elbow on
Austin. The ref is upset at Luger for not breaking cleanly, and while
they argue Austin leaps into things and chops away at Luger. Austin
tries the 6" whip, but Luger reverses it and sends Austin headfirst over
the top turnbuckle to the floor. Flair takes this opportunity to attack
Austin, putting the crowd further against Luger. Luger rolls out to the
floor and atomic drops Austin there. Austin is clearly overmatched to
this point.

Luger rolls back in again, still not having broken a sweat, and again
when Austin climbs to the ring apron Luger suplexes him in. Luger puts
Austin to the corner and stands on the 2nd rope, mocking the crowd as he
give Austin 10 right hands like most faces do. The crowd of course
chooses not to count along. Austin atomic drops Luger of the corner,
however, then climbs to the top rope. Luger, almost bored at this
point, casually shakes the ropes, dropping Austin crotchfirst. Luger
climbs to the top and delivers a crushing superplex, then covers for
1....2....but Austin has enough to get a foot on the ropes. Luger
picks him up, and Austin chops away. The two exchange rights, and
amazingly...Luger falls first! Austin quickly suplexes Luger, then
takes him down with a single-leg, which leads into the
Hollywood-and-Vine! Luger screams in pain, and makes it to the ropes,
forcing the break. Austin tries his finisher again, but Luger blocks.
He tries a third time, but Luger makes it to the ropes like a coward
easily.

Austin climbs to the top rope and comes off with a double-axehandle,
stunning the larger Luger. Kneedrop for 1.....2....but Luger kicks out
easily. Another kneedrop, and another two-count with Luger again
kicking out easily and now looking pissed. Luger nails some right
hands, then whips him hard to the ropes. Austin hits a cross-body in
desperation, and both men go over the top rope to the floor. A brawl
ensues, then both roll back in. Austin hits a series of right hands,
trying to fell the giant again. After 10 rights, Luger finally falls.
Luger gets to his knees quickly, and Austin rolls him up for
1....2....kick out. Luger headbutts Austin in the gut, sending him
falling through the second and third ropes to the floor. Luger uses the
breather to get to his feet, but Austin slingshots himself in with a
sunset flip. Luger, however, grabs Flair's hands outside the ring and
sits down for 1....2....kick out. Austin nails Flair, to the delight of
the crowd, then rolls up Luger for 1....2....kick out.

Luger is fully energized and really pissed off now, and makes snarling
motions at Austin. Austin rolls out of the ring to escape the enraged
Luger, and Luger follows.

And here comes the Ultimate Warrior, looking for revenge for his
first-round loss.

Austin rolls back into the ring, and Luger climbs onto the apron.

The Warrior grabs a crutch from the "crippled" Flair, and smashes it
into Luger's back. Luger falls into the ring, and Austin covers for
1....2.....3!

"Here is your winner...and World title finalist...STUNNING STEVEN
AUSTIN!"

The crowd loves Austin for the moment, as the much-hated Luger has been
defeated. And now Mr. Fuji comes down to ringside, bringing Nikita
Koloff and Ludvig Borga with him. He grabs the microphone.

"Now all you stupid Americans will watch as we beat your 'Made In the
USA' Lex Luger to a bloody pulp! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Koloff tosses Flair out of the ring, and Borga and Koloff proceed to,
well, beat Luger to a bloody pulp.

Much to their chagrin, the crowd loves it.

In fact, after they're done thrashing the Horsemen, the crowd gives them
a standing ovation all the way back to the dressing room. This was
clearly not the crowd reaction Fuji was hoping for, and he leads his
Foreign Fanatics back to the dressing room, totally confused now.

"This next contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"In the ring to my left, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada...representing
the Extreme Team...and accompanied by Woman...here is CRIPPLER CHRIS
BENOIT!"

"And his opponent..."

"Coming down the aisle, representing the Calgary Connection....to be
led towards the ring by Stu Hart....here is FLYIN' BRIAN PILLMAN!"

Pillman takes the mic from Finkel for a special announcement.

"Hey, Chris, I know you want to forget you were ever a part of our
little team, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to throw one last reminder
your way! Everyone, please give a warm welcome to the newest associate
of the Calgary Connection...and Chris Benoit's former partner...BEEF
WELLINGTON!"

The crowd pops huge as Wellington makes his way to ringside.

Benoit leaves the ring to confront Wellington, and while they yap at
each other, Pillman comes off the ropes with a Space Flying Tiger Drop
onto Benoit and we're underway. Pillman attacks Benoit on the floor,
until Woman pulls him off. They get into the ring, and Benoit quickly
whips Pillman. Pillman jumps to the top rope, and electrifies the crowd
by coming off with the Air Pillman clothesline. Benoit is up quickly,
and Pillman gives him a knee to the back, sending him crashing to the
corner. Pillman with 10 right hands as the crowd counts along, then he
atomic drops Benoit as he staggers out. Pillman whips Benoit to the
opposite corner, followed by a superkick for 1....2....kick out. He
picks Benoit up and runs across the ring, jumping on the top rope again,
but Benoit ducks underneath Air Pillman and Pillman sails over the top
rope, to the floor.

Benoit rolls to the floor, and chops away at Pillman's chest. He atomic
drops Pillman into the ring apron, then rolls into the ring. Pillman
tries rolling in also, but Benoit kicks him in the head as he comes in.
He picks Pillman up and brings him to the corner, punishing him with
chops that turn Pillman's chest beet red. Benoit hooks a German suplex
for 1....2....kick out. Benoit then quickly hooks the
full-nelson/German suplex finisher, but it's too early as he only gets
1....2...kick out. But Pillman is spent now. Benoit tosses him to the
corner, then whips him out hard to the other corner, then whips him out
of *that* corner back to the first corner, then press slams him as he
comes out for 1....2...kick out. Kneedrop, but Pillman rolls out of the
ring. Benoit follows him out and atomic drops him to the apron again,
further damaging the back. Benoit rolls in, and Pillman climbs to the
apron. Benoit slingshots him in for 1....2....kick out. Benoit puts
Pillman back in the corner, then whips him to the opposite corner again.
He just measures him with a series of rights.

Pillman fights back a bit, but Benoit wallops him again with a spinning
kick. He whips Pillman off the ropes, but puts his head down and
Pillman hooks a rolling cradle for 1....2...kick out. Benoit charges
off the ropes, but Pillman blocks the intended move and lands a series
of forearms. Benoit counters with a classical Greco-Roman Thumb to the
Eye, then climbs to the top rope. Pillman quickly slams him off,
however, and kicks him in the gut. He takes a page out of Benoit's
playbook and shoves him to the corner, then whips him to the opposite
corner, followed by a backdrop. He picks up Benoit, jumps on the top
rope, and hits Air Pillman! He picks Benoit up again, climbs to the top
rope, and hits it again! Pillman is juiced now, and spits on the
traitorous Benoit. Pillman picks him up again and whips him to the
corner, and Benoit goes shoulderfirst to the post. Pillman rolls him up
for 1.....2......kick out! Pillman whips Benoit, but it's reversed and
Benoit tries a clothesline. Pillman ducks under and dropkicks Benoit
out of the ring. Pillman climbs to the top rope and comes off with a
dropkick off the top onto Benoit, who is on the floor! He rams Benoit
into the stairs, then Wellington gets into the act, ramming him into the
post. They double-suplex Benoit on the floor as the crowd is loving
every minute of it.

Pillman tosses Benoit into the ring, then follows him in and sits on his
chest, firing away with 20 right hands! Pillman climbs to the top rope
and comes off with a flying splash for 1.....2....kick out! Benoit is
still stunned, so Pillman bodyslams him and climbs up top again, this
time coming off with his finisher, the Pilldriver! [Editor's note: The
Pilldriver is a somersault off the top rope, with Pillman landing
feet-first right on the victim's gut.] Pillman covers for
1.....2....but Woman runs into the ring! She runs out again after
stopping the count, and Pillman follows, then he and Wellington chase
her back into the ring again. On the way by, Woman drops her purse for
Benoit, and after Beef and Woman are escorted out, Benoit cleans Pillman
clock with the loaded purse for 1.......2......kick out! Benoit stomps
on Pillman, then rubs his face in the mat in frustration. Wellington
protests to the referee, and Woman uses that opportunity to slam a chair
into Pillman's leg. And of course Benoit goes to work on the leg. He
gives Pillman a kneebreaker, then goes right to a Japanese submission
hold, whose name the author knows but can't remember at the moment. ;-)

Pillman fights to the ropes for the break, but is noticeably limping.
Benoit tries a slam, but Pillman reverses to an inside cradle for
1....2....kick out. Benoit quickly goes back to the knee, stomping away
at it. Another knee breaker, but this time when he goes to kick
Pillman's knee again, Pillman side steps him and hooks a Japanese cradle
for 1.....2.....3!!!!!!

"Here is your winner...FLYIN' BRIAN PILLMAN!!!!!"

Unfortunately for Pillman, he has about 5 seconds to celebrate before
Sting and Ric Flair charge the ring and attack Pillman as Benoit keeps
Wellington busy. Flair puts Pillman in the figure-four while Sting
comes off the top rope with a series of splashes until the Usual Gang of
Idiots breaks up the brawl.

Now we're getting down to the nitty-gritty...

"This next contest is the other semi-final in the World title
tournament!"

Again we'll skip the introductions. Williams comes out first, followed
by Simmons.

However, as Simmons comes out, so do the Sandman and Tommy Dreamer, who
immediately jump Simmons as he comes out of the dressing room. Dreamer
holds him as Sandman whacks away with the cane. Dreamer piledrives him
on the concrete, then Sandman stomps away on him, alternating boots with
canes. They proceed to drag Sandman down to the ring, pounding away
like madmen.

Williams, however, is a bit upset at having his match interrupted by
this. The Extreme Team tosses Simmons back into the ring, and the
opening bell rings. Williams yells at them to get lost, but they can't
seem to hear him. Williams picks up the beaten Simmons and whips him
off the ropes, giving him a boot to the gut. He pounds an elbow into
the back of the All-American's head, then hits a kneelift. Sandman and
Dreamer are still at ringside.

Curtis Hughes is on his way to ringside to even up the odds, and the
circus is underway.

Williams whips Simmons off the ropes and picks him up for an Oklahoma
stampede as Hughes begins brawling with Sandman and Dreamer. The ref is
distracted by the brawl and goes outside the ring to break things up.

Unfortunately for Williams, he now has the battered Simmons covered and
beaten in record time, with no referee to count. Really pissed off
about the unwanted interference now, Williams rolls out of the ring to
yell at the Extreme Team some more. He shoves Dreamer to the ground,
much to the delight of the fans, and when Sandman takes a swing with the
cane he ducks that and clotheslines him to the ground. Charged now, he
rolls back into the ring and picks up Simmons, clotheslining him to the
mat. He comes off the ropes, and Dreamer hooks his leg! Williams, more
annoyed now than hurt by the move, turns around to jaw with Dreamer.

Simmons is recovered a bit now, and shoulderblocks Williams out of the
ring while his back is turned, then follows him out. He smashes him
headfirst to the railing, then press slams him to the floor. He tosses
Williams back into the ring, and Dreamer and Sandman double-clothesline
him.

Now the ref has had it with these guys, and orders *everyone* back to
the dressing room who isn't participating in this match. Dreamer and
Sandman protest, but slowly make their way back to the dressing room.
However, as they get sent back, Hughes rolls into the ring and slams
into Williams with a Bossman slam, knocking the wind out of him. The
ref turns around with Simmons covering for 1....2....3!

"The winner of this match, advancing to the finals...RON SIMMONS!"

Williams is totally disgusted at the way the Extreme Team have made a
mockery of the tournament so far, and leaves the ring with a scoul on
his face. Simmons is just happy to be all the way to the finals,
considering his lack of talent.

And now, let's go back to the special gymnasium section of the lunar
colony, where the Steiner Brothers train with some of the locals before
their match.

SS: Geez, nice sternal-gletal mastoid, buddy! Let me guess - you
graduated on time, right? Fag.

RS: My brother and me, we don't want to, y'know, rip your necks
out, but sometimes I just ... forget, y'know?

SS: God, you call that a thorical-lumbar facia? If I wasn't reading
this from the teleprompter, I'd kick sand in your face, College boy.
Nice threads, too. Strings jacked up your asses like a couple of rap
video 'hos ... looks kind of familiar, though ... oh shit ...

[The Brothers' previously-passive interlocutors, Rex King and Steve
Doll (the "Twin T-Backs of Terror"), proffer a, um, "declaration of
proof" unto the hapless Michigan duo in the form of thirty-five kilo
barbell plates to the face. Exit Steinerteeth (tm), in powder form].

SD: Gentlemen ...

[With shrieks of glee, a cloud of dust and a hearty "ONE-EIGHTY-
SEVEN!", Eddy Guerrero and Jesse Barr execute dueling elbowdrops from
the mezzanine. Remember: the Brother's faces weren't messed up
enough until this point. There's a very important note of symbolism
in there somewhere.]

JB: With a tear in my eye ...

[Barr raises a barbell (insert drum sting here) over his head.
Silence. You do the math.]

EG: [to the TTT, brandishing documents] Thank you, boys. I believe
you'll find this locker key to your liking ...

RK: Not a problem. And while we're on the subject, the Steiners had
something I believe your boss might like to see.

[King rips a leather satchel from about Rick's waist. As all shield
their eyes in deference, he draws the gavel rightly held of Her
Majesty by Tamara Fitch, L.J. He presents this to the now-arriving
Lady Justice, with appropriate flourishes all around.]

TF: Thanks this day from this my Honourable Court. Return in safety,
friends. [exit TTT]

[enter the Trooper, who turns darkly to the camera and speaks]: This
is what happens when you sign to meet the Court of Last Appeal. In
case anyone out there thinks the WCWF isn't violent enough, remember
this: the Court of Last Appeal are the _good guys_. Have a nice day.

The Steiners, escorted out on a stretcher, are obviously forced to
forfeit the match with Prop. 187 due to injuries suffered by Rick.

(scene fades in on Todd Pettingill. He is standing in an empty
wrestling arena. The place is run down and a couple of lowlifes watch from
the back of the gym. Pettingill looks nervous about his settings)

Todd Pettingill: Hi folks, I'm here at the King's Courthouse gym where I've
been promised a major interview by one of wrestlings all time greats, former
NWA heavyweight champ Harley Race. He told me to meet him here but I don't
see him. Oh...Mr. Race?
(Harley Race walks out from the office. He wears a crown atop his
head and a long flowing purple cape across his broad shoulders.)

Harley Race: Ah...Pettingill you've finally arrived.

Pettingill: Yeah...um...you said you wanted to talk to someone from the fed.

Race: That's right I do. But first let's get the formalities over with.

Pettingill: Formalities?

Race: Yeah you pea brained peasant. On your knees and show the proper
respect for the King of Professional Wrestling, Harley Race.

Pettingill: Now wait a minute Mr. Race. Now I know you've been away from the
ring for awhile but it seems to have effected your brain.

Race: On your knees Pettingill.

Pettingill: Alright. (under his breath, I don't get paid enough for this)
(Pettingill kneels before King race, bowing low)

Race: Much better. You can get up now.

Pettingill: How about that anouncement?

Race: Alright. It has come to my attention that while I was away someone has
decided to deficate the Royal Throne. There is an imposter among us
gentleman and this man must be exposed for the fraud that he is. Some have
tried before but I have assembled the greatest conglomeration of wrestlers
to accomplish this feat.

Pettingill: Now wait a minute...

Race: Silence!!! Jerry Lawler, you call yourself the King. Ha preposterous.
You call your stable the Royal Assasins. I call them the Royal Asses and
tonight I will introduce you to the men that will be your downfall. First my
friend I have the "Macho King" Randy Savage.
(Savage comes out decked out in his royal colors. He too is wearing
a crown and carries a sceptre in one hand.)

Savage: Oh yeah!! The Macho King, back in business, and looking to maybe
crrrrown a few of Jerry Burger King's Henchmen. Lawler, I never liked you
but I like the stooges you got working for you even less. I can't be held
acccccounntable for my actions when I step in the ring. I do what I do cause
I am who I am, OH YEAH!!!!!

Race: I have a special assignment for King Savage. A man that they call the
bad guy.

Savage: The bad guy, oh yeah, Razor Ramon. Macho King Randy Savage coming
right upside your head, Bam!! Lights out bad guy.

Race: Very good Randy, now I would like to bring out King of the Savages,
MENG!!!
(Meng comes out decked out in a purple tailor made suit and dark
sunglasses. He walks up beside Harley Race and stands there silently)

Pettingill: Doesn't he have anything to say?

Race: Maybe you'd care to get a few words out of him? No, Meng let's his
actions in the ring do his talking. As you will soon find out Dr. Doom. I
have given this special assignment to my big man. Dr, Doom, you will soon be
experiencing major pain.
But enough about that. My next man is somebody I have been watching
progress for a number of years. I think he is finally ready for the ranks of
the King's Court. May I introduce 2 Cold Scorpio.
(Scorpio struts out, a crazy glaze in his eyes.)

Scorpio: Yo! I don't know about all this crazy King sh@t, but I'll tell you
one thing. Mr. Race here's giving me an oppurtunity to get back in the ring,
and homie, ain't no way 2 Cold is going to turn that down. Jeff Jarrett, I'm
gonna bust your chops right upside your head, fly in at you like your momma
never did, but shoulda. When the Coldman gets done with you, diamonds
won't be forever, just what I'm wearing around my waist.

Race: And finally probably my most prized possesion, the two baddest hoods
from the street that ever lived. They have fought their way through poverty
and slums for long enough. Now they will know only the finest riches the
world has to offer, here are Public Enemy.
(Rocko Rock and Johnny Grunge enter the scene. They are talking
animately back and forth)

Grunge: That limo ride was dope, baaaaabbbbbiiiieee.

Rock: Yeah man I could get used to living like that. (turns to the camera)
and if Jerry Lawler thinks he's taking this away from us he's oh so
mistaken. We lived like Kings in the Hood. Now we outta there and living
high on the horse. The best cars, fancy swimming pools, the finest jewelry.
Razor Boys or Girls or whatever the fuck your name is, Rocko Rock is
coming for ya, yeah. Watch your back, y'all, cause sooner or later there's
gonna be a drive-by....

Grunge: Guess that means I get Al Perez. Hey Jerry where'd you dig up this
guy? The local 7-11? Last I heard he was dead, or maybe living in Florida.
Al baby, I don't want to hurt ya, so I want. But my royal baseball bat gonna
come crashing upside your head. HAHAHAHAHA

Rock: So check it out y'all
Your gonna shout y'all
When the King's court come to town
We'll leave ya laying
Cause we be slaying
And when we're done, The Royal Assassins will be wishing they had
never heard of us. WE'RE OUTTA HERE

(camera fades out.)

And now, standing by with a VERY special guest, here's Craig DeGeorge...

Craig: Folks, I'm here with Private Wrestling Investigator Tommy
Sledge, who has some shocking news for us!

Sledge: That's right, Craig. You see, two weeks ago I investigated the
murder of Shane Douglas, working from an anonymous tip. I discovered
that Ric Flair apparently faked his own injury, while Steve Austin was
hired to kill Douglas by using a stun gun to induce a heart attack. But
this theory really bothered me.

Craig: Why?

Sledge: For one thing, why would Flair bother faking the injury? It's
pretty obvious now that Douglas and Flair were working together the
whole time.

Craig: That's shocking!

Sledge: Not nearly as shocking as this: Why would Austin bother using
a stun gun? It's clumsy and certainly doesn't guarantee death. A good
ol' .45 will do that trick every time, while inducing heart failure
through electrical shock is iffy at best. So I dug some more, and
discovered that Austin signed a contract with the Takamatsu Corporation.

Craig: But...that's Shane's corporate sponsor!

Sledge: Exactly. So now my theory was that this "Takamatsu
Corporation" was trying to bump off it's biggest asset for some bizarre
reason. My main guess was to give Austin the World title shot, which he
now has tonight.

Craig: Sure. But why kill Douglas? Why not just have him surrender
the title to the WCWF?

Sledge: Exactly. And that's why they DIDN'T kill Douglas!

Craig: WHAT!

Sledge: Shane Douglas is not only alive, but he's going to be Stan
Hansen's mystery challenger tonight! That was the plan all along --
give Austin the World title, and Douglas the North American title!

[And, as if on cue, Douglas walks into the picture, healthy as the day
he was born.]

Douglas: Fine! So you figured it out! I'm disappointed that you
didn't die after we blackjacked you two weeks ago, but it won't matter
after I beat that pot-bellied Hansen and Steven whips Ron Simmons like a
dog to claim his fourth World title! You see, it's all part of the
plan.

Sledge: I've got your "plan" all figured out, pretty boy.

Douglas: Oh, no you don't. We still have three very important pieces of
the puzzle to put into the place yet!

[Jacob Roberts comes into the area, with partner Arn Anderson.]

Douglas: Piece #1: Jacob Roberts and Arnold Anderson, who will
decisively crush whoever has the bad luck of carrying the tag belts when
In Your Mailbox III rolls around.

[Mr. Perfect comes into the scene.]

Douglas: Piece #2: Curtis Hennig, our inside informer who spent years
with the Four Horsemen and will allow us to crush them forever!

Craig: But I thought you and Flair were working together!

Douglas: So did he. That's the beauty of our plan! [The Corporation
laughs heartily.]

Craig: So what's the final piece of your puzzle?

Douglas: Ah-ah-ah...that'd be telling. You'll all find out....very
soon.

[Douglas makes his way to the ring for his title match.]

"Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is for the North American
heavyweight championship!"

The crowd gasps in shock as the thought-to-be-dead Douglas makes his way
down to ringside. Even Finkel is caught off-guard.

"Making his w-w-w-w-w-w-way to the r-r-r-ring...the challenger...Shane
Douglas? I thought he was dead!"

Douglas rolls into the ring and soaks up the shock of the crowd at
seeing him again.

"And his opponent, representing the Dangerous Alliance...the North
American champion...STAN HANSEN!"

Hansen charges into the ring and totally ignores the fact that a dead
man is staring him down. The two immediately lock up and Hansen shoves
him to the corner, then slaps him in the face as there is still
unresolved hostility from Wrestlemania V. He slaps him again, and they
lockup again. Douglas with a side headlock takedown on Hansen, but the
Lariat powers out. They lockup again, and Douglas gets an arm wringer
on Hansen, then rams him to the turnbuckle. He chokes him out on the
ropes, then whips him off the ropes and clotheslines him. Douglas is
pumped, but Hansen deflates him by giving him headbutts to the gut from
his knees. Hansen goes to the corner, but Douglas snapmares him out and
follows with a kneedrop. 1....2....kick out.

Douglas applies a chinlock, and Hansen quickly gets to his feet and
carries him around the ring on his back. Douglas manages to get Hansen
back down using the hair, however. Douglas then releases the hold and
hammers on his neck, then puts him back in the chinlock. Hansen powers
his way to his feet again and fights free. He whips Douglas off the
ropes, but it's reversed and Douglas gives him a quick boot to the gut
and a neckbreaker. He then whips Hansen to the corner and clotheslines
him there, then covers for 1....2....kick out. He goes for a tombstone
piledriver, but Hansen falls back and reverses for one of his own. He
picks up Douglas, who quickly goes behind with a full-nelson. Douglas
brings him to the corner and smashes Hansen's head into the turnbuckle
while still in the hold, ala the Mountie. 1....2....kick out. Douglas
whips Hansen off the ropes, who drops down with an elbow to Shane's gut.

The two exchange blows until Douglas uses an axehandle to the back to
put Hansen on the ropes. He chokes him there for a count of 4, then
chokes him out with the boot for 4. Back to the chinlock, and Hansen
manages to power out again after a few minutes, ramming Douglas into the
turnbuckles. The two exchange blows, and now the brawler from Borger
gains the upperhand on the scientific Douglas, flattening him with shot
after shot. Hansen whips his challenger off the ropes and gives him an
elbow to the head. They go to the corner, and Hansen gives him 10 right
hands. He plays to the crowd a bit, however, after coming down, and
Douglas comes flying out with a forearm to the back of the head that
sends Hansen to the opposite corner. The big man just motors right back
out again, though, and nails the Lariat! Unfortunately, Douglas ducks
and Hansen hits the referee by mistake, which according to the laws of
wrestling knocks him unconscious. Hansen hits one on Shane and covers.
Although Douglas kicked out at two anyways, so it really doesn't matter.
It does mean that Hansen has to go revive the referee, though, which
gives Douglas a chance to get to his feet. Hansen turns around, and
Douglas hits a clean belly-to-belly for 1......2.......3!!!!!

"Here is your winner...and NNNEEEEWWWWWW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION! SHANE
DOUGLAS!"

Hansen shoves the ref out of the way in frustration at causing his own
defeat AND losing to arch-enemy Shane Douglas.

And since we're on such a roll, let's keep it going...

"Our next contest is scheduled for one fall! In the ring to my right,
representing the Calgary Connection, with Brian Pillman, here is STEVE
DISALVO!"

"And his opponent, to my left, representing the Four Horsemen, with Ric
Flair, THIS IS STING!"

Sting and DiSalvo shove each other to start out, and the Strangler
immediately clamps a headlock on Sting, which Sting turns into an atomic
drop. They lockup again, and break again. Lockup again, and this time
they jockey for position until DiSalvo shoves Sting to the mat like a
child. Sting is back up quickly, and they lock up, going to the ropes,
then along the ropes, then to the other corner, where Steve breaks and
tries a right hand. It misses, and Sting ducks underneath and
clotheslines him over the top rope. DiSalvo rolls back in, and they
lockup again. DiSalvo takes control with a knee to the gut, then
hammers on Sting's back and rams him headfirst to the turnbuckle. He
pounds a few choice rights to Sting's head, then whips him to the corner
and charges in, with predictable results. Sting puts a wristlock on
him, and actually bites his hand. DiSalvo slams Sting, but the Stinger
holds on.

They go the ropes again, and Steve uses a forearm smash to break the
hold. Sting comes off the ropes and football tackes DiSalvo. They
criss-cross, and DiSalvo tosses Sting over the top rope. As Sting rolls
in again, DiSalvo stomps on his head. Sting climbs to his feet while on
the apron, and DiSalvo snaps his neck on the ropes. Sting rolls in, and
Steve picks him up and drops him throat-first on the top rope. Steve
goes to the second rope and hits a double-axehandle for 1.....2....kick
out. Sting sits up and DiSalvo hammers 5 fists to Sting's jaw. Sting
is disoriented by this, and falls down in a daze after standing up.
DiSalvo simply steps on his head. Then chokes him on the ropes.
Pillman comes over and stings Sting with a right hand. Sting falls
back, and DiSalvo picks him up for a snapmare, then a reverse chinlock.
Sting powers out, but DiSalvo's arms are massive and Sting falls down
again. He elbows out again, but again is forced back down.

They go to the corner where Sting gets the break. He clotheslines
DiSalvo's tree trunk neck, and actually gets him down. Bodyslam. He
goes to the top, but misses the big splash. Steve whips Sting off the
ropes and misses a flying clothesline, and in fact misses it by so much
he goes flying right out of the ring. After scaring off Flair by
flexing at him, he climbs onto the apron where Sting suplexes him in for
1....2....kick out. DiSalvo tosses Sting out again to buy time. Sting
is only on the apron, so DiSalvo rams him headfirst to the turnbuckle,
then snapmares him back in. Neckbreaker. He gets 1....2....kick out,
and back to the chinlock. Sting fights to his feet and uses a
jawbreaker to get out. DiSalvo uses a neo-classical Olympic standard
eye rake to regain the advantage, but misses another clothesline. Sting
doesn't miss his. Right hands follow, then Sting whips DiSalvo off the
ropes and backdrops him. He drops an elbow and proceeds to hammer away
on him until DiSalvo tosses Sting out by the tights again. Again Sting
only lands on the apron, and this time sunset flips himself back in the
ring for 1....2....3.

"Here is your winner...STING!"

And in a rare show of sportsmanship, Sting actually shakes DiSalvo's
hand as the Horsemen leave. Perfectly logical, since it would have been
2-on-2, which are odds the Horsemen never choose to fight with.

Three more matches to go....

"Our next contest is for the vacated World tag team championship! It is
scheduled for one fall, to a finish!"

Vinnie Vegas and Diamond Dallas Page emerge from the dressing room...as
do the Razor Boys. A brawl ensues right away and we're right into the
title match. There are no DQ's or countouts or time limit. Page brawls
with Paul Diamond (obviously) while Vinnie Vegas chooses Al Perez.

Page and Diamond exchange rights furiously, until Page gains the upper
hand. He rams Diamond head first to the STEEL railing, then hiptosses
him off the rampway to the floor. He comes off with a splash onto the
floor and proceeds to hammer away.

Perez, meanwhile, is busy trying to keep the huge Vegas at bay. He
dropkicks him right over the railing on the other side of the aisle,
into the audience. Razor Ramon is still hovering around the dressing
room, ready to interfere at any time. Although 911 is also hovering
around, so it's kind of an impasse. Perez shoves an old lady off her
chair, and uses it to batter Vegas with.

On the other side, Page grabs a fire extinguisher and sprays it in
Diamond's face, stunning him, then slams him on a table. He grabs a
foot-long sub from a vendor and proceeds to beat on Diamond with it.

Vegas blocks one of Perez' chairshots, and retaliates with a boot to the
gut that knocks the chair out of his hands. He tries a big boot to the
face, but Perez ducks and gives Vegas a bigtime crotchshot that has
every guy in the arena clutching themselves in sympathetic pain. Vegas
drops to his knees and Perez grabs the chair again and batters Vegas
with it.

After Page smashes the sub sandwich to smithereens on Diamond, he
decides to look for other weapons. Not finding anything handy, he grabs
a fan from ringside and hiptosses him onto Diamond. Diamond gets up
slowly, and hiptosses the fan right back on Page, then dives off the
table with a flying elbow on Page on the concrete.

Finally the referee orders the teams to get into the ring, and begins
herding them towards the ringside area. On the way there, Diamond drags
Page on his knees, dragging his face along the STEEL railing. Diamond
tosses DDP into the ring while the ref deals with Perez and Vegas.
Diamond climbs onto the top rope and comes off with a boot onto Page's
head. Off the ropes again with an elbowdrop, but the ref is still busy
outside. So he uses the moment to roll out and grab a chair, which he
tosses over the top rope. He rolls in, but as he does Page grabs the
chair and rams it into the side of his head. Diamond clutches his now
bleeding ear as DDP picks him up and executes the Diamond Cutter.
Again, no referee.

Finally we see Vegas and Perez fighting all the way to ringside, with
the referee following. Perez rolls in first, and Page waffles him with
the chair on the way in. Now it's total mayhem, and even Jerry Lawler
and Paul E. Dangerously are fighting. The Vegas Connection go berserk
with chairs, hammering away on the Razor Boys.

Back near the dressing room, 911 and Razor Ramon are fighting. Ramon
tries a right hand, but 911 blocks and chokeslams him on the concrete.
The crowd goes nuts...and here comes Dr. Doom. Doom hits 911 with a
right, then tries a clothesline...and 911 chokeslams him too! Or at
least he would if he could get him off the ground. Which he can't. In
fact, Dr. Doom isn't budging at all. He picks up the huge 911 like a
child and redefines "chokeslam," using 911 as an example. He starts
walking purposefully down to ringside, where the Razor Boys are being
destroyed. Lawler is screaming instructions at the awesome Doom.

Vegas powerbombs the bloodied Diamond, then Perez. Page and Vegas seem
to stop and watch Doom as he walks over to where the belts are at
ringside and picks one up. Vegas screams out "Who the hell are you,
anyways?" and steps over the top rope to confront him while Page
continues to beat on the helpless Razor Boys. Vegas gives him some
trash talk for a bit, then suddenly Doom pulls off his cloak, and then
his bronze mask, to reveal....


ADAM BOMB!


Except he looks different. Way different. Not only is he a nuclear
mutant, he's a nuclear mutant that draws power off a mask made from the
Undertaker's urn. He gives Vegas a really scary glare, then grabs him
by the throat and tosses him down the aisle. This is getting a bit too
weird for anyone's liking at the moment. Page looks really freaked out,
and sort of staggers back, into a cradle by Al Perez for 1....2....3!

The Razor Boys are the new champions, but it doesn't seem to matter as
the new improved Adam Bomb is menacingly making his way to the ring. He
rolls in, and Page slams a chair over his head. Nothing. In fact, the
steel chair bends. Page, terrified, drops the chair and backs into the
corner. He charges out for a forearm smash, but Bomb catches him and
tosses him clear over the top rope, into the arms of Vegas.

The Vegas Connection quickly get out of Dodge, along with Dangerously
and 911. Lawler grabs the tag belts and runs into the ring to
celebrate. However, he goes to hug Bomb...and Bomb chokeslams him too!
The Razor Boys immediately go after Adam Bomb to protect their manager,
and Bomb clotheslines both at once, then picks them up by the hair and
tosses each to a seperate corner with one hand.

Bomb finally leaves the ring, having single-handedly destroyed six men
in the space of few minutes. The crowd is in awe as he leaves. And it
can be said that his working agreement with Lawler is pretty much on
hold.

And as if it couldn't get bizarre enough...

"Iron Man" comes over the PA.

"This contest is scheduled for one fall! It is LOD v. LOD!"

That's all Finkel gets out, as the two versions of the Road
Warriors/Legion of Doom charge the ring at exactly the same time and
proceed to beat the hell out of each other. Paul Ellering isn't with
either team, if it matters. For sanity's sake, we'll call the evil
Warriors Hawk and Animal, while the good Warriors will be Hawk2 and
Animal2.

When the referee settles everyone down enough to start, it's Animal v.
Hawk2. They lockup, and go to the corner, and Animal misses a big
forearm as Hawk2 ducks out of the way. They lockup again, and Hawk2
whips Animal, but it's reversed. They criss-cross, and Hawk2 hits a
dropkick. They stalk each other some more, then lock up again. Arm
wringer by Hawk2, tags in Animal2. Animal2 hits Animal with an elbow,
then chokes him out. Animal rolls out of the ring to escape, then rolls
in again and tags in Hawk. Animal2 and Hawk lock up, and go to the
corner, where Hawk nails Animal2 with a series of rights. Animal2
replies with his own, then puts an armbar on Hawk and tags Hawk2.

Hawk2 holds the arm bar, and Hawk rakes the eyes to break. Hawk kicks
Hawk2 several times, pushing him into the corner, where he ANNHILIATES
him with a series of vicious kicks to the head. 25 in all. Hawk2
staggers out of the corner, and Hawk goes right back at him with more
rights, and generally kicks his butt from one side of the ring to the
other. However, as he turns around to stick his tongue out for the
crowd, Hawk2 pops up and flattens him with a clothesline. He follows
with some rights, then whips his counterpart off the ropes and
powerslams him, then drops a fist. He puts an arm wringer on Hawk, but
he manages to tag Animal in first. Kick to the gut by Animal, and he
presses Hawk2 over his head to show off. He drops Hawk2 throat-first on
the top rope, but Hawk2 no-sells the move and clotheslines Animal.
Animal no-sells that clothesline, so Hawk2 does it again, this time with
more favorable results.

Animal rolls to the floor, and Hawk2 quickly climbs to the top rope and
comes off with a psychotic-looking clothesline onto Animal, who is
basically halfway down the aisle. Hawk2 tosses Animal back into the
ring, then tags in Animal2. Animal2 pounds on Animal with a series of
rights, then an elbow to the head. He uses a double-leg takedown on
Animal, then drags him to the corner and posts him. Animal must be
wearing his steel-belted jock strap, however, because he no-sells that
move and calmly tags in Hawk. Hawk calls for a test of strength with
Animal2, but as they go into it, Animal2 kicks Hawk in the gut, then
quickly tries a figure-four. Hawk blocks it, however. Everyone rolls
to the floor after that, and a brawl erupts (Oh, like one wouldn't).
Hawk destroys Animal2 with a chair and an attitude. Hawk throws Animal2
back in, and dropkicks him down. Hawk puts him on the ropes and begins
firing away with right hands, but Animal2 comes back with some of his
own, and a dropkick of his own. Hawk tags Animal in, who kicks Animal2
in the head and rakes his eyes. More kicks to the head, and now he puts
a neck vice on him which lasts a minute or two.

It turns into a headlock, but Animal2 manages to power himself to his
own corner and tag Hawk2 in. Hawk2 uses a series of chops and rights to
break the headlock on his partner, then whips Animal off the ropes, but
gets put in a sleeper. He uses a jawbreaker to escape, and tags in
Animal2. Animal2 beats the crap out of his evil counterpart, then
brings him to the corner and bulldogs him out. He picks him up and
shoves him into the corner, then clotheslines him from behind. He goes
to the opposite corner and charges in with another clothesline to the
back of the neck. Animal staggers backwards, right onto the shoulders
of Animal2, who lifts Animal into the air for...that's right, kids...the
Doomsday Device! Hawk runs into the ring to try and break it up, but
the ref escorts him out as Hawk2 climbs to the top rope and demolishes
Animal with a clothesline. Animal2 covers and we have 1, we have 2, we
have 3!!!!!

"The winners of this match -- and winners of the rights to the name
'Road Warriors' -- Michael Hayes' Legion of Doom!!!!!"

Hayes celebrates with his Road Warriors, while Flair and his No-Name
Warriors are in total shock at the clean loss. Hawk and Animal -- the
only ones now -- claim the black spiked shoulder pads, throwing the red
foam ones to the crowd. The Wrestler Formerly Known As Hawk and the
Wrestler Formerly Known As Animal make their way back to the dressing
room, pondering their next move.

And now, before the main (and, at loooooooong last) final event of the
evening, let's get some last words from the participants.

[Vince MacMahon stands by with Ron Simmons, Curtis Hughes, and Mr. Bob
Backlund.]

VM: I'm here with the All-American, Ron Simmons, before what is without
a doubt the biggest match of his career in the WCWF. Ron, you've come a
long way from your days as 1/2 of Doom, that's for sure. Give us some
thoughts.

RS: Well, Vince, I'm not just doing this for me. I'm out there
fighting for all the young kids in the ghettos who haven't had the same
opportunity as I have. I was blessed with a collegiate scholarship,
which let me play the game I loved so much while developing my mind. If
the kids out there in the streets and "Da Hood" would learn to think for
themselves instead of following the gang, maybe we could all learn to
get along a bit better. Case in point: For months now, my man Curtis
Hughes had no self-respect...no dignity...no way to look himself in the
mirror and say "I am a man." Why? Because he was Ted Dibiase's hired
goon. Just a bodyguard. Not even worthy of inclusion in the
Corporation as a wrestler in his own right. Well, I think he's got
potential, and so does Mr. Backlund, because we're giving him a spot in
the Varsity Club. In fact, I heard that Rick Steiner was injured so
badly by Prop. 187 earlier this evening that he's contemplating
retirement so Scott can have a singles career. That'd be a shame, but
it would certainly give Curtis a chance to shine in the spotlight, like
we all knew he could all along.

VM: Are you confident of victory?

RS: I'm just thankful to be here. I want to send a message to my
brothers out there. It doesn't matter if you win or not -- the fact
that you could put an effort in and say "Yes -- I did this" is enough in
itself. Steve Austin is a tough competitor, I know.

VM: Three times WCWF World champion certainly speaks for itself.

RS: Yeah, that it does. He's hungry for a fourth title, and he's got
the experience, the skill, the know-how. But I have something deeper
than that. I have heart. I have determination. I'm fighting for those
who can't fight for themselves. I'm making a statement tonight. I'm
saying "Whether I win, or whether I lose, I will go out and try my
best." If I win, great. If he can beat me, then I'll call him the
better man and shake his hand and know I wasn't meant to be World
champion. If the Lord intends me to wear that title, it'll happen, and
no amount of talent on his part can stop me.

VM: Amen.

[We cut to Missy Hyatt, who is with Steve Austin and his brood.]

MH: Oh, Steven, I have to tell you how exciting it is to be standing
next to the future four-time World champion!

SA: Thanks Missy. Glad to know *some* people here in the WCWF
appreciate their brush with greatness. But onto other matters -- namely
the final piece of the puzzle. You see, Ron, you might have heart. You
might have determination. You can even have 8 million ghetto punks in
your corner for all I care. Because I have something better. My whole
strategy -- for this match, and this whole tournament -- was planned out
weeks ago on a very sophisticated computer program, developed by the
Takamatsu Corporation. They don't accept anything less than perfection,
and that's why I'm guaranteed a win tonight.

MH: So what's the big surprise?

SA: Missy, I would like to introduce the mysterious CEO of the
Takamatsu Corporation...and our new manager...ALEXANDRA YORK!

[Alex York comes out, laptop in tow.]

AY: That's right, WCWF, the York Foundation has made it's way to this
two-bit federation. The computer program planned everything out -- the
fake death of Shane Douglas, the inevitable tournament, Austin's entry
into it, his two wins tonight, and soon his final victory to claim the
greatest prize in wrestling. After this next match, we'll have both the
North American title and World title in our corporate hands. In fact,
I've already signed the contracts for the next In Your Mailbox
pay-per-view, where we'll go for all the gold! Curtis Hennig is going
to face Steve Regal for his Intercontintal title, and Jacob Roberts &
Arnold Anderson will take on the Razor Boys for the World tag titles!
It's all right in here. [Points to laptop computer.] Steven, let's go
win the World title for the York Foundation.

[Austin and York make their way down to ringside.]

Michael Buffer gets to the handle the introductions for this
show-stopping finale.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the main event of the evening! It is for
the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! It is scheduled for one fall with a
one-hour time limit. If no decision is reached after one hour, the
three judges at ringside will score the match and decide the winner."

"Now, allow me to introduce our panel of judges."

"First, on hiatus from the most publicized trial in history, namely the
OJ Simpson trial, please give a warm welcome for JUDGE LANCE ITO!"

Ito, with about 4 beautiful blonds in tow, makes his way to ringside at
the table.

"Next, all the way from the 21st century...the man who IS the
LAW...JUDGE DREDD!"

Dredd comes down to ringside, with a huge AK-47 in his hand. He waves
to the fans.

"And finally, please give a warm welcome to movie star JUDGE REINHOLD!"

The crowd warmly applauds the final panelist.

"And now, the participants..."

"First, on my left. He beat the Sandman in the quarterfinals, and Steve
Williams in the semi-finals. He is formerly a member of Doom with Butch
Reed and tonight wrestles for his first major singles title. From
Warner-Robbins, Georgia, and representing the Varsity Club, here is RON
SIMMONS!"

Simmons stands on the second rope and gets quite a bit of cheers from
the crowd.

"And his opponent, on my right. He beat Bret Hart in the quarterfinals,
and Lex Luger in the semi-finals. He is a former holder of the
Intercontinental championship, and a three-time former WCWF World
champion! Tonight he goes for his fourth championship of the
World...from Hollywood California, and representing the York Foundation,
here is STUNNING STEVEN AUSTIN!"

The crowd goes wild, because after his last match with the hated Luger,
Austin has clearly become the crowd's favorite to win it all.

"There will be two referees. Tommy Young on the inside, and Dave Hebner
on the outside. Ladies and gentlemen, LET'S GET READY TO
RRRRRRUMBBBBLEE!"

The bell rings, and we're underway. The two men stalk each other, then
lock up. They go to the corner, and Simmons whips Austin out, to the
ropes. Austin holds the ropes, however, stopping his momentum. He
points to his head to show how smart he is. Austin struts a bit more,
then they lock up with another collar and elbow. Back to the corner,
and Ron headlocks Austin, but Young forces a break. Austin takes
advantage with chops. Simmons immediately whips Austin to the ropes,
and Austin holds on again. He points to his head, which Simmons hits
with a clothesline, sending him over the top rope. Austin confers with
York, then rolls back in.

They lock up, and Austin goes behind Simmons with a hammerlock. It is
reversed quickly by Simmons, and Austin goes to the ropes to break.
They stare at each other intensely. Another collar-and-elbow, and
Simmons puts Austin in a headlock, and grinds it in. Austin pushes him
into the ropes, and Simmons runs him over like a Mac truck. Austin
rolls to the corner to recover, then asks for a test of strength. He
immediately boots Simmons in the gut upon getting one, then chops his
chest. Austin headlocks the larger All-American, who whips him off the
ropes to break. They criss-cross until Simmons catches Austin with a
powerslam. Austin rolls out of the ring. York does a quick
computation, then sends Austin back in again. Simmons whips him off the
ropes and military presses him, getting the first two-count of the
match.

Arm wringer by Simmons, but Austin gets to the corner to break. Simmons
gives him a cross-corner whip, however. Austin eats turnbuckle, and
Simmons goes back to the arm wringer. Austin hits Simmons with stinging
chops, but Simmons isn't selling today. Austin runs from the ring like
a dog, and Simmons chases him. Dave Hebner stops it right there,
ordering both men back in. Austin crawls to the corner, and when
Simmons follows Austin boots him in the gut. Of course, Simmon's gut is
like most peoples' radiators, so it has no effect. Simmons gives Austin
a ride to the other corner, then hammerlocks him. Austin elbows out,
then comes off the ropes with Bonehead Move #455. Namely, he tries a
shoulder tackle. Yeah, right. Then he comes off the ropes again with
Bonehead Move #678, a cross-body block. Simmons catches him and
biels him to the corner. Ron follows him in, and Austin comes back with
that most cherished and classical of old-school Mexican wrestling moves:
El Thumb-o To El Eye-o. He fires away with some American right hands
(to quote Jim Ross) which have no effect, then some chops which have
even less effect. Austin takes this as a bad sign and leaves the ring
again. Simmons follows.

They fight on the floor a bit, and Simmons smashes Austin's arm to the
STEEL railing, then rams him shoulderfirst to the post. Back in the
ring with an armbar by Simmons. To the ropes to break. Austin gets a
headlock on Simmons, but Ron whips him off the ropes, but misses a
clothesline as Austin hangs onto the ropes again. So he just waits
until Austin comes at him and doesn't miss this time. 1....2....kick
out. Austin rolls to the apron for the nth time, and Simmons simply
suplexes him back in. 1....2...kick out. Simmons comes off the ropes
with an ugly-looking, totally ungraceful elbow that takes forever to
land. And, as you might expect, Austin moves. Austin kicks Simmons in
the gut a couple of times for the heck of it, then throws him out of the
ring. He follows him out and rams him headfirst to the STEEL railing.
Again to the STEEL railing. For a change, he goes to the STEEL steps.
Back in the ring, and Austin argues a bit with the ref while York hits
Simmons with her shoe.

Simmons rolls back in, and Austin snapmares him right away. Kneedrop.
Simmons rolls to the ropes for sanctuary, but Austin pulls him out and
gives him a right hand. He snapmares him again, then gives him a
Sullivan gut-stomp. Austin brings Simmons to the corner and nails him
square in the jaw with a left, but Ron Simmons will not fall. Simmons
comes back with rights of his own, and Austin quickly puts a headlock on
Simmons. Simmons whips him off the ropes to break, and gets a sleeper!
Austin is fading fast as York punches things into her computer. Austin
is to his knees when he suddenly gets a surge of strength and pulls a
belly-to-back suplex out of nowhere to break the move. Both men
groggily climb to their feet, and Austin snapmares Simmons again. He
tries a figure-four, but Simmons reverses it to an inside cradle for
1....2....kick out. Austin chops him, followed by another snapmare to
put him down. He climbs to the top, but Simmons is already up, and
follows him up. Superplex for 1....2....kick out. Simmons puts a
figure-four on Austin, and this one isn't reversed. He gets several
near-falls before Austin makes it to the ropes to break.

Austin rolls to the corner, and Simmons pounds on him with rights.
Austin grabs his opponent by the tights and flings him out of the ring,
but Simmons lands on the apron and climbs to the top rope. He nails
Austin with a shoulderblock off the top for 1....2....kick out. Austin
uses a right hand to try to slow him down, then a hiptoss, but Simmons
blocks it and turns it into a backslide. Since only one person in the
history of wrestling (Kerry Von Erich, 1984) has ever won a match with a
backslide, I'll just omit the two-count since you've probably already
guessed it. Austin to the corner again, and Simmons goes to the second
rope and does the count-to-10 thing. Except the crowd is cheering
Austin so they don't count very loudly. Whip to the opposite side by
Simmons, and Austin goes over the top rope to the apron. Simmons
suplexes him back in and gets 2. Austin with more chops, but Simmons
no-sells them all. Simmons whips Austin off the ropes and press-slams
him. He whips him again and powerslams him, then picks him up and whips
him off the ropes for the spinebuster to finish it, but Austin grabs the
ropes yet again and gets the hell outta there.

Austin walks around on the floor a bit, and Simmons stands near the
ropes, yelling at him to come back in the ring. Suddenly, Austin lashes
out and trips Simmons, then pulls him to the corner and wraps his leg
around the post, hard and fast. Simmons shrieks in pain, and Austin
pounces. He jumps into the ring and begins working on the leg with
everything in his arsenal. Kicks, stomps, jumping on it, everything.
Simmons stands up and Austin clips him. Simmons can barely walk after
two minutes of punishment to his leg. Austin kneedrops the leg, then
applies his Hollwood-and-Vine reverse figure-four move. Simmons barely
makes it to the ropes to break. Austin goes back to the leg, snapmaring
Simmons then kneedropping the leg again. Austin climbs to the top rope,
and Ron calls up some reserve energy (hey, now's the best time) and
slams him off the rope, but immediately after the leg buckles again.
But now Simmons has his second wind. Austin tosses Simmons out, but
Simmons remains on the apron. Austin grabs him by the neck and tries to
snap it on the top rope, but Simmons no-sells. Simmons slingshots
himself over the top with a clothesline for 1....2....kick out.

Ron whips Steve off the ropes and press slams him again, but the knee
gives out after the move. Austin tosses him out again, and Simmons
sunset flips himself back in again for 1....2....kick out. Austin is
scared now. Austin tries a running knee, but Simmons isn't selling.
Austin runs to the corner and begs for mercy. Simmons follows him in
and gives him 10 rights for his trouble. He whips him to the opposite
corner, and when Austin comes out Simmons clotheslines him.
1.....2..........kick out. Barely. Simmons can taste it. He whips
Austin off the ropes and powerslams him. 1.......2..........kick out.
Simmons drapes Austin on the ropes, which gives Alexandra York about 5
seconds to give Austin some kind of instruction. Austin nods his
understanding as Simmons hits a Bossman running sit-move. Austin is
done, and Simmons whips him one last time for the spinebuster...which
Austin reverses to a DDT in the middle of the move! 1.....2......3!!!!!

"The winner...and first-ever FOUR TIME WCWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT
CHAMPION....STUNNING STEVEN AUSTIN!!!!"

President Wendi Richter-Hayes brings the title belt from her seat at
ringside, and presents it to Steven Austin for the fourth time. Austin
straps it on. Simmons walks over to him, with the microphone.

"Austin, I don't like your methods, but you beat me fair and square. I
said I'd shake your hand and call you the better man, and that's what
I'm gonna do."

Simmons offers his right hand, and Austin takes it in a show of
sportsmanship. The two embrace, and Simmons leaves Austin to his
celebration as balloons fall from the ceiling by the thousands and
fireworks go off.

Join us for our next pay-per-view extravaganza: In Your Mailbox III,
live from Hackensack, New Jersey! Good night, everyone.

Copyright 1995, LPK Enterprises.

ske...@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca *MR. BOB BACKLUND FOR PRESIDENT!*
Which once again proves Norm's theory: Germans love David Hasselhoff...
WCWF Homepage: http://gpu.srv.ualberta.ca/~skeith/
My first appearance: Action Comics #2 (Oh, like you can check...)


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