There is nothing in Roanoke Rapids which can even accidentally be
called Paradise.
Even for a goat lover.
What do you have against free car washes for everyone, courtesy of the
biggest local employer?
Lung washes cost extra.
And the town is a dump to boot.
Okay, there is that. Lower your standards far enough and always
remember to double wrap and even a chud like me got some on a regular
basis when I lived there.