oops, sorry, my finger slipped. (rather, an extraneous i that i missed deleting before posting)
okay, i saw it, had to rewind, he didn't really say anything, it was just a short fluff piece (i don't know if that's a technical term or not.) when he was president, whenever anything he said about climate change came on, he always had my undivided attention.
i'm sorry, jusst. i'm afraid this is not my experience, and i can't agree with you at this point, that it's a bad word and should be eliminated. i myself, personally, won't say it (except that one time which eventually messed up my mind), but it seems like so many people are trying to make it into something good. perhaps this is an insight into some kind of attempt to relax the relations between blacks and whites, or help take the sting out of the anger and/or shame we all live with from our national history. i don't know. maybe you're right, but a lot of people are still trying to figure it out, what to do with this word, like robert de niro and that scene in the relatively new movie, dirty grandpa. have you seen it? i just saw it on cable a few weeks ago. i don't know who started it, the word's resurrection or evolution into something good, in our culture. honestly, i'm surmising black people. i always thought it was their sole right to use it after the civil rights gains of the 60s, and it *was* their pride, that they could say it and no one else could. then they started turning it around. that's how i vaguely remember understanding it. but i really don't know. maybe it was like you say, people like bob dylan and lenny bruce. maybe both. i don't know who instituted the substitutions, or championed its evolution, either, from the n word, to the now only slightly considered to be offensive unless used in a historical context (or the college fund), negro, the 99% abandoned colored, which is still dying out with our oldest senior citizens, afaik, to black, to african-american, which didn't quite catch on 100%, however some people, like myself, are sensitive to situations, and switch between one or the other, depending.
tbqh, it really is a terribly awkward thing to bring up, at least for me, say, in a restaurant, or any public place; the elephant in the room. to be overheard, and misconstrued, and judged guilty, as a racist, to even be heard *mentioning* skin color (ethnicity) out loud, even if the context is completely benign. even if you are overheard saying the ultimately politically correct, "african-american," there's no way out. you think you are being either hated or resented or making someone else uncomfortable or suspicious or making their ears stand up, and are judged guilty. it's scary. (an aside, sometimes i find myself facing the same fears of being overheard when religion comes up. is someone jewish or not, or however it comes about. WWII, the holocaust, and being overheard, say in a restaurant. me with my black hair and pointy nose. anyway, that's neither here nor there in this discussion we are having. unless you want to continue.)
i just remembered i heard someone white, rather extreme, use the word once, as a substitute for just using the word black. i found it offensive, but only as a truly bad word, not a blatant form of racism, as far as i was aware. i mean, i don't think he associated with a lot of black people, i don't really know, but i'm guessing that was just his life experience. however, naturally, i didn't think he was someone with whom i could ever get that close, if he would use that word as a natural part of his vocabulary, and whatever his background was such that he spoke like that. at first, i thought we might be able to connect. when he said tits, i thought he was still redeemable, that i could change him, and gently requested he not use that word, and to say breasts, instead. then he used the "n" word, and i immediately gave up. i was going to say, it was like reaching the ends of the earth and falling off, with no going back. but now i remember the cover of the children's poetry book, it was like getting to the point..."where the Sidewalk ends." at that point i figured whoever he was, whatever his background, that it was truly hopeless. i mean, for us to truly relate, to be the same, and be close. that just seemed insane. to be so clueless, or insensitive. where could he have possibly been raised or learned that, that it was okay to use that word, and yet, he wasn't a red-neck racist from the deep south? actually, come to think of it, i THINK he MAY have been from the midwest, iirc. i'm not for sure. <e.g> i also just remembered he didn't like his nose, which shocked me, i never even noticed anything about it, and i looked and couldn't see what there was not to like. and he commented that he had a black butt, which i hadn't noticed either, and thought that seemed sort of true, "now that you mention it." he was very white with blonde and blue eyes and very muscular, i don't know his ethnic origins.
i've never really heard it used hatefully, except in books or movies depicting days gone by. i'm not really around people like that, except a maybe of couple times. (or say, the movie american history x). i know it's still out there...skinheads, etc.., but i don't think it's anywhere near in the majority, is it? well, i just thought of/remembered our prison system...and the gangs in there divided by race...and the proportion of african-americans in prison compared to others...but we were talking about the use of a word. (as if this discussion is of any relative significance to the state of world...oh well.)
maybe a word is more than just a word.
i don't know, i'm probably just a girl (now my worst childhood nightmare come true, a single unmarried woman with no children) from a small town, who hasn't been around enough. or maybe i've been around the block too many times, and can see where it's at, and you're the one living in some kind of fanciful lala land, where we are all so refined and decent, and a merre/word will break your bone. i can't blame you, it happened to me with that guy...eventually, rather quickly, he disappeared out of my life. i considered being with him sort of an adventure, as opposed to anything true and meaningful. when we were at an NA meeting together, a woman speaker shared about how things could turn around and eventually finding your soul mate in those rooms. i was sitting there next to him, my new temporary companion, and burst into tears. (okay, honestly, i don't remember if this was before or after the n word comment.)
i think it's okay, not for me, but if some people are using it in a positive, complimentary fashion. do you really think there is a way to eliminate hate merely by changing words?
that one time it came out of my own mouth, i didn't really mean it. it was just a personal vendetta, if you will, against the officer's character, or so i thought, not his race. i just wanted to hurt his feelings, but not B/C he was black. he was, in fact, rather striking and handsome. it was his personality, the way he was acting. maybe you can take his race out of that equation, maybe they can't be divorced. i thought he just being was an obnoxious a-hole. i made the conscious choice to say it, the worst word in the english language, and it was a huge mistake, hearing it come out of my mouth, a frightened whisper. it was horrifying. i felt so stupid.
you'd have to work harder (tell me more about it) to change my mind though. i'm tending to think that you probably could, as you probably know more about it that i do??
i don't think my ears got used to it.
i heard it used by a white person as a compliment. (imo)(re-reading, tv just said dominos continue to fall...) it was foreign to me, but it gave it a completely new meaning, and opened my eyes to something cool, or so i thought.
the example i am about to give even reminds me of the jackie robinson movie, 42, the part about a little white boy seen copying his moves and wanting to be like his black baseball hero, only reversed.
now, granted, old-fashioned folks may not like this example. but if you're more progressive, you might approve.
a white kid, from whom my friend was attempting to acquire some weed for me, which i thought i wanted and needed to help relax and chill out...so the guy was sort of feeling pressured, like being able to find it and get it for us, so he goes, (and this makes me think of red in the movie shawshank redemption), but he goes, "do i look the *n*!??! do i look like the *n*?!?!" i couldn't believe it. it's like he was using it as the ultimate compliment. do i look like the guy who has a head on his shoulders, who knows what he's doing here, who is well-connected, who knows how to find you and get you what you want and need? i have no f*ckin' clue. i'm not the *n*!!!!!"
see what i mean? maybe you don't approve of the context (pot), but the intention is only and purely admirable, imopho.
well, anyway, it takes me a long time to sort out my thoughts, sorry it took so long to answer.
you'd have to tell me more about your position, if you wanted to enlighten me about it.
but i'm probably not worth the effort. 🤘