New FAQ!
Kenneth Sörling
It's.....
THE VILLAGE PEOPLE R.H.O.D FAQ
=============================
Young Man,
is your boss a big jerk?
I said young man,
are you stressed out from work?
You should know that
there's a place you can shirk
There's no need to be productive!
We don't
want your boring reports
We're not even
interested in sports
We're on UseNet
with its flames and retorts
We ain't got one life between us!
<trumpets>
<chorus:>
We now invite you to R.H.O.D!
We long to spite you in R.H.O.D!
You'll be stuck here for weeks
among hackers and phreaks
You can hang out with all us geeks!
It's fun to lurk in the R.H.O.D!
We run berserk in the R.H.O.D!
You can have a good time,
if you know how to rhyme.
We'll poke fun at your every line!
</chorus>
Newbie?
You should look for the FAQ
Cannot find it?
Well you're all out of luck.
If you hang here,
you'll be sure to get stuck
Pretty soon you'll be addicted.
You should
learn the rules of the News
And then lurk here,
and assemble some clues
Ask a question
and you'll risk our abuse
We won't even get convicted!
<trumpets>
<chorus>
We want to post you in R.H.O.D!
TimChew will roast you in R.H.O.D!
If you taste chicken-ish,
you will be a good dish
to Paul L. Kelly's Fighting Fish.
We long to meet you in R.H.O.D!
We're gonna eat you in R.H.O.D!
If you don't have a clue,
we'll be preying on you...
You'll make excellent barbecue!
</chorus>
If you
get profoundly confused
by the in-jokes
which we have much abused,
It's a state to
which you'll have to get used
and we WILL not stay on topic!
Warning!
We're all twisted and sick
If you post here,
there's no nit we won't pick
We're relentless,
and we don't miss a trick
We will chew your prose to pieces!
<trumpets>
<chorus>
You have been booked into R.H.O.D!
You'll soon be hooked on the R.H.O.D!
Kiss your real life goodbye,
as you post and reply
into threads that refuse to die!
You'll have a ball in the R.H.O.D!
as do we all in the R.H.O.D!
You will rupture your spleen,
laughing 'til you turn green,
reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
</chorus>
Young Man,
we've been waiting for you
just to freak you
with the sick things we do.
We're immoral
like the monkeys at Zoo.
We should all have been arrested.
Show us
what you've got to conceal,
Come on, let us
cop a virtual feel!
I assure you,
if our antics were real,
we would all need to get tested!
<trumpets>
<chorus>
Come show your verve at the R.H.O.D!
Come be a perve at the R.H.O.D!
You'll get tied by KaCee,
duct-taped to DMP...
Pray to God you won't need to pee!
It's fun to be at the R.H.O.D!
You cannot flee from the R.H.O.D!
It's a dangerous hive,
you can struggle and strive
but you'll never escape alive.....
===================================================
Has this sort of thing been done before? I'd be surprised if it
hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
People song about. My apologies in that case.
Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
But feel free to write yourselves and each other in! After all,
everything gets chopped up, augmented and twisted around in here.
That's why I love this froup!
<semi-serious>
If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
As is obvious, I've been rather careless with the rhyming constructs;
descending to 'assonance' in some cases and completely skipped the
inter-verse tie-ups in others. But if memory serves me right, VP
weren't too picky about that, either.
</semi-serious>
I had great fun with this, though! The hardest part was actually to
stop adding to it! You loonies are a great source of inpiration!
Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
*hugs*
------------------------------------------------------------------
My thoughts and opinions are my own and not those of my employers.
Their last original thought was back in 1957.
Matthew Thomas
>...
> I had great fun with this, though! The hardest part was actually to
> stop adding to it! You loonies are a great source of inpiration!
> Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
> *hugs*
I hereby declare that Kenneth Sörling has used up his quota of
exclamation marks for October.
--
.._o Matthew Thomas, who prefers semicolons
..://\/ Visit my site: http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/
..:_/\ `You see, Siamese fighting fish don't /have/ frontal lobes.'
..:/ -- New Scientist
Kenneth Sörling
that raunchy little sex-pot Matthew Thomas <mp...@spamfree.land> snuck
quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
breath:
>
>I hereby declare that Kenneth Sörling has used up his quota of
>exclamation marks for October.
>
Rats[1]. How am I supposed to distribute my "MAKE MONEY FAST[2][3][4]"
mail to all those lucky people in
alt.gullible.dorks.with.too.much.cash.and.no.real.life ?
Oh well. Nobody said anything about '1' signs, so I guess I could...
HEY WAIT A MINNIT1 ARE YOU FLAMNG ME?1?1 PHUK Y00011111
Ahh! Just like old times on my Commodore 64. How I miss Bit.net! The
old 'Amiga vs. Atari' flame wars! Those were the days *sigh*
//Kenneth "B1FF L1V3S" Sörling
-------
[1] Due to an unexpected police action we are currently short of
exclamations marks. Come back in November for your FREE marks. Just
flash this voucher and we'll be glad to serve you. We are sorry for
the inconvenience.
[2] See [1]
[3] Same as [2]
[3] You're a bit slow in grasping the concept here...
Paul L. Kelly
infuriate me by saying:
Now I've got that song stuck in my head, yff. Very good effort,
but if I go postal at work today, please explain to the authorities
that it was a VP filk that drove me to it.
>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
Always capitalize the word english.
__
bright...@mindspring.com
Insert periods in-between the words to e-mail me.
Paul L. Kelly, whose world-famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet.
Kenneth Sörling
raunchy little sex-pot bright...@mindspring.com (Paul L. Kelly)
snuck quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
breath:
>>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
>
>Always capitalize the word english.
Thanks. Waitaminnit. Are you screwing with my head?
Kimberly Chapman
> reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
Have you been reading archived apk material or is that just a really
spooky coincidence?
> Come on, let us
> cop a virtual feel!
Keep dreamin'.
> You'll get tied by KaCee,
> duct-taped to DMP...
> Pray to God you won't need to pee!
*snicker*
> Has this sort of thing been done before? I'd be surprised if it
> hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
> People song about. My apologies in that case.
I've never seen it before, but I haven't been here all that long. Very
cute, Kenneth.
> Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
> don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
Well I'm in there twice. Guess that means you have a thing for me, eh?
Oooo baby.
> Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
> *hugs*
Hooboy, that's gonna get you in trouble here.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kimberly Chapman, BJ, BA. Trust No One
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm
Kenneth Sörling
raunchy little sex-pot aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman)
snuck quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
breath:
>
>Kenneth Sörling (kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se) writes:
>> You will rupture your spleen,
>[snip]
>> reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
>
>Have you been reading archived apk material or is that just a really
>spooky coincidence?
>
*With all the intelligent looks of Manuel*
Que?
Archived? Where do I find those? In that DejayNyoo thing?
And how far back do I have to go to find out what you're on about?
<whip>
>> Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
>> don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
>
>Well I'm in there twice. Guess that means you have a thing for me, eh?
>Oooo baby.
Don't get me all hot here. The duct-tape is pretty tightly strapped,
and there's no room for... owww... too late...
>> Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
>> *hugs*
>
>Hooboy, that's gonna get you in trouble here.
>
No kidding. Matthew Thomas has already taken away my exclamation
marks. *sob*
Paul L. Kelly
by saying:
>I still dream about that day (Wed, 21 Oct 1998 13:06:53 GMT) when that
>raunchy little sex-pot bright...@mindspring.com (Paul L. Kelly)
>snuck quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
>breath:
>
>>>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>>>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>>>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
>>
>>Always capitalize the word english.
>
>Thanks. Waitaminnit. Are you screwing with my head?
SFX: "squick squick squick"
Yup.
--
Paul L. Kelly, whose world famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet.
bright...@mindspring.com
Put periods in-between the words to send me e-mail. Or if you know
my real address you can use that.
Munchkin
This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
-b
Paul L. Kelly
><bunch of crap snipped>
>
>This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
Please read the FAQ.
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <362ea084...@news.ericsson.se>
Froom: kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se (Kenneth Sörling)
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 08:53:08 GMT
______________________________:
> And now, for something completely different.
>
> It's.....
>
> THE VILLAGE PEOPLE R.H.O.D FAQ
> =============================
<snip totally grinworthy disco-funk filk>
> <semi-serious>
Oh-oh!
> If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
Your English, like that of most Scandinavians I've ever encountered,
is better than that of the majority of native English-speaking
people[0]. Stop worrying.
> </semi-serious>
S'better.
[0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
--
Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)
UCE > /dev/null
DMP
Munchkin wrote in message <70l7ge$fco$1...@news-int.gatech.edu>...
><bunch of crap snipped>
>
>This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
>
How do you know it's off-topic?
Munchkin
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fish.siamese.bondage, wrote in message
<362e272...@news.mindspring.com>
<snip>
>
>Please read the FAQ.
>
How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
old copy is on rtfm.mit.edu? This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a
siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
humans use mirrors creatively?
-b
Munchkin
DMP, while chillin in da hood, wrote in message
<70l7vu$5...@news3.newsguy.com>...
<snip>
>How do you know it's off-topic?
>
>
some sick sixth sense I developed after a group of evil usenetters burned
the NNTP RFC into my back with boiling oil.
-b
Carla Miriam Levy
>>>>> "Munchkin" == Munchkin <sp...@sucks.it> writes:
Munchkin> <bunch of crap snipped> This is kinda off topic but why
Munchkin> dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
Munchkin> -b
YOUR SO STUPID HAHAHA YOU DIDNNT EVEN NOTICE YOURE OWN POST IS OFF
TOPIC YOU IDIOT AHAHA!!!!*!!!!!!11!!
--
*--------------------------------------------------------------------------*
Carla M. Levy ~ http://hussle.harvard.edu/~clevy ~ Harvard Physics
"She is a very, very smart person, and she doesn't suffer fools gladly."
--JMS on NAM
Munchkin
<snip>
>siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
>humans use mirrors creatively?
oops
s/with/when/
-b
Munchkin
<snip>
>YOUR SO STUPID HAHAHA YOU DIDNNT EVEN NOTICE YOURE OWN POST IS OFF
>TOPIC YOU IDIOT AHAHA!!!!*!!!!!!11!!
I think you could have made that more WebTV/NetCom-ish by utilizing "leet
speek" and "wAckY caPs":
y0|_|r s0 s+00p1d, d00d, H@H@H@, 3w3 d1dd/\/t eVeN NOtiC3 y0uR3 0w/\/ p0st
1s 0ff t0PiC, y0u 1d10+ HAHAHA, d00d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KICK ASS!!!!! 1f
y0u \/\/@n+ th3 d0pe 0-day rh0d sh1zn1t c|_|m t00 #warez-rh0d, d00d.
-b
DMP
Paul L. Kelly wrote in message <362e272...@news.mindspring.com>...>><bunch of crap snipped>
>>
>>This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
>
>Please read the FAQ.
You're a rotten bastard, you know that?
DMP
Munchkin wrote in message <70leb6$gfh$1...@news-int.gatech.edu>...
>Paul L. Kelly, while looking at
>alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fish.siamese.bondage, wrote in message
><362e272...@news.mindspring.com>
><snip>
>>
>>Please read the FAQ.
>>
>
>
>How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
>obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
>old copy is on rtfm.mit.edu? This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a
>humans use mirrors creatively?
Before we're nice to you, are you female?
Tom Tom Harrington
>Also Sprach Kenneth Sörling:
>> If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>
>Your English, like that of most Scandinavians I've ever encountered,
>is better than that of the majority of native English-speaking
>people[0]. Stop worrying.
>
>> </semi-serious>
>
>S'better.
>
>[0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
> Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
> cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
Who told you that Merkins speak English?
We speak American. Historically, American is derived from English,
but it's not really accurate to call them the same language. You
can't make valid statements about the quality of our English, unless
you're talking to someone who has learned it as a second language.
It's certainly not our first.
BTW, who are the Micks?
>Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)
We also think that the UK is in Eurpoe.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ----- t...@rmi.net ----- http://rainbow.rmi.net/~tph
"And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"
Tom Tom Harrington
>Has this sort of thing been done before?
This has never been done before.
>I'd be surprised if it
>hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
>People song about.
This has never been done before.
At least, not in a long time. I've been here since early '94 sometime
and I've never seen it before.
>My apologies in that case.
>Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
>don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
*sniff*
><semi-serious>
>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
Your English is good, but I'm worried about your accent. If "FAQ"
rhymes with "luck" for you, then you need to be careful who you say
"FAQ" to.
Tom "FAQ off" Harrington
Munchkin
DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>
>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>
Sick bastard.
Paul L. Kelly
Yeah. It's great. You oughta try it sometime.
__
bright...@mindspring.com
Insert periods in-between the words to e-mail me.
Paul L. Kelly, whose world-famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
Paul L. Kelly
>
>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>
>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>
>
>Sick bastard.
>
Oh, let's be nice to him!
Daniel E. Macks
: Paul L. Kelly, while looking at
: alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fish.siamese.bondage, wrote in message
: <362e272...@news.mindspring.com>
: >Please read the FAQ.
:
: How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
: obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
: old copy is on rtfm.mit.edu?
Information on obtaining the FAQ can be found in the FAQ.
: This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a
: siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
: humans use mirrors creatively?
What color was the fishie?
No no no...*before* it slammed into the bowl.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies make shiva calls
--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks
Daniel E. Macks
: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
: >
: >DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
: >>
: >>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
: >
: >Sick bastard.
:
: Oh, let's be nice to him!
And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here
Paul L. Kelly
saying:
>Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) said:
>: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>: >
>: >DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>: >>
>: >>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>: >
>: >Sick bastard.
>:
>: Oh, let's be nice to him!
>
>And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
>
>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here
Dork-brain. You were SUPPOSED to say, "I say we cut 'is 'ead off!"
Charles A. Lieberman
Poor mountaineer, barely kept the fam'ly fed
Then one Wed, 21 Oct 1998 08:53:08 GMT was shootin' at som food
When up from the ground started bubblin:
> You loonies are a great source of inpiration!
Funny, I'm only inspired by my own currency.
--
Charles A. Lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
Brooklyn, New York, USA | stopped to pick up his brass I just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- Anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html
Charles A. Lieberman
Even when playing Billiards?
--
charles a. lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
brooklyn, new york, usa | stopped to pick up his brass i just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html
Ian Davis
> How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
> obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
> siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
> humans use mirrors creatively?
And at that moment, Munchkin was enlightened.
ash...@my-dejanews.com
Ah, me boyo, 'tis Tim Chew ye should be askin' tha' o'
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
Moogle
>Listen to my story 'bout a person named Kenneth Sörling
>Poor mountaineer, barely kept the fam'ly fed
>
>Funny, I'm only inspired by my own currency.
Do you watch the news a lot?
Or are you a newspaper reading type?
Corran Webster
Hmmmm... that sounds interesting. Do you have the RFC for BOTP[1] handy?
Corran
(or maybe it's a subset of FTP[2])
[1] Boiling Oil Transmission Protocol
[2] Flame Transmission Protocol
Tim Chew
L. Kelly) wrote:
>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>
>>
>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>
>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>
>>
>>Sick bastard.
>>
>
>Oh, let's be nice to him!
I say we cut 'is head off.
--
HRH Prince Timothy T. W. Chew, Duke of North Hills
"Despite convincing proof that the practice actually prevents cancer,
smoking near jet fuel is not advisable." -- Carmen J. Giant
The Annals of Improbable Research. (Vol. 4 No.5)
Blow a raspberry to e-mail me.
Tim Chew
L. Kelly) wrote:
>dma...@sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) attempted to infuriate me by
>saying:
>
>>Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) said:
>>: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>>: >
>>: >DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>: >>
>>: >>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>: >
>>: >Sick bastard.
>>:
>>: Oh, let's be nice to him!
>>
>>And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
>>
>>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here
>
>Dork-brain. You were SUPPOSED to say, "I say we cut 'is 'ead off!"
Nevermind.
Tim Chew
>--> BTW, who are the Micks?
>
>Ah, me boyo, 'tis Tim Chew ye should be askin' tha' o'
Sorry, but I am not Irish, despite what Ian says.
Tim "not that there's anything wrong with that" Chew
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <70l7ge$fco$1...@news-int.gatech.edu>
Froom: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it>
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 14:01:28 -0400
______________________________:
> This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
Well, what do you expect from a bewigged former glamour bookcase?
--
Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)
UCE > /dev/null
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <MPG.10983d03a...@news.bu.edu>
Froom: cali...@bu.ed.u (Charles A. Lieberman)
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 20:12:51 -0400
______________________________:
> > Always capitalize the word english.
> Even when playing Billiards?
The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
is it "top"? Or "screwing")
Barry O'Neill
>
> Your English is good, but I'm worried about your accent. If "FAQ"
> rhymes with "luck" for you, then you need to be careful who you say
> "FAQ" to.
>
> Tom "FAQ off" Harrington
FAQU,UFAQINFAQ.
regards,
Barry
Paul L. Kelly
by saying:
>On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 23:28:38 GMT, bright...@mindspring.com (Paul
>L. Kelly) wrote:
>
>>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>>
>>>
>>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>>
>>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>>
>>>
>>>Sick bastard.
>>>
>>
>>Oh, let's be nice to him!
>
>I say we cut 'is head off.
Let's have tea.
Paul L. Kelly
to infuriate me by saying:
>Also Sprach Charles A. Lieberman:
>
>Massage: <MPG.10983d03a...@news.bu.edu>
>Froom: cali...@bu.ed.u (Charles A. Lieberman)
>On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 20:12:51 -0400
>______________________________:
>
>> > Always capitalize the word english.
>
>> Even when playing Billiards?
>
>The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
>is it "top"? Or "screwing")
Nudge nudge wink wink knowhatamean knowhatamean?
So what's it like, eh?
Paul L. Kelly
saying:
>Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
Good one. Is this a meta-acronym?
Kimberly Chapman
Kenneth Sörling (kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se) writes:
>>> You will rupture your spleen,
>>[snip]
>>> reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
>>
>>Have you been reading archived apk material or is that just a really
>>spooky coincidence?
>
> Archived? Where do I find those? In that DejayNyoo thing?
> And how far back do I have to go to find out what you're on about?
Clearly, it's a spooky coincidence. I have a spleen thing. Well, a
gigantic fluid-filled cyst that I thought for two weeks might be cancer
until they found out that it was, in fact, a fluid-filled cyst. So I
found it odd that you'd make the reference, is all.
> No kidding. Matthew Thomas has already taken away my exclamation
> marks. *sob*
SO kick him and take them back. Never let anyone stomp on you.
KaCee of KaCee's Place (alt.pub.kacees)...aka Kimberly Chapman, BJ, BA
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"One must forego the self to achieve total spiritual creaminess and
avoid the chewy chunks of degradation." - Ace Ventura
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
strike (strik) n. - an effort to increase egg production by strangling
the chicken.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
** Check out alt.pub.kacees **
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm
Kimberly Chapman
"DMP" (ten.asu@rekrapmd) writes:
>
> Before we're nice to you, are you female?
Or a sexy nerdy guy? I prefer those, thoguh some females are tempting.
Kimberly Chapman
"Munchkin" (sp...@sucks.it) writes:
> <bunch of crap snipped>
>
> This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
I have a shiny paperclip.
Kimberly Chapman
Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
> [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
> Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
> cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
What's a Mick?
Kimberly Chapman
Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) writes:
> "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>
>>>
>
> Oh, let's be nice to him!
Are you sure? He/she is approaching your brSff tank with a mirror...
Kimberly Chapman, aka KaCee of KaCee's Place (alt.pub.kacees)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Seen on a van for a construction company:
Guaranteed Satisfaction with every erection!
-------------------------------------------------------------
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm
Kimberly Chapman
"Munchkin" (sp...@sucks.it) writes:
> DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>
>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>
>
> Sick bastard.
ITYM "Squick bastard." HTH. HAND.
Kenneth Sörling
aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman) finally caught me
off-guard while I was hiding in rec.humor.oracle.d, pushed me
face-first into the wall, and slapped on the cuffs while hissing:
It's an Irish man/woman. You know, like in Patriot Games and the such.
They're all named Mick, you know! When they assume other names, it's
just to show off. Mickey Rourke had the courage to keep his name, but
then he had to blow it by pumping silicon into his cheeks. Pshah!
------------------------------------------------------------------
My thoughts and opinions are my own and not those of my employers.
Their last original thought was back in 1957.
DMP
Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70mff7$ih1$6...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>Also Sprach Charles A. Lieberman:
>
>Massage: <MPG.10983d03a...@news.bu.edu>
>Froom: cali...@bu.ed.u (Charles A. Lieberman)
>On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 20:12:51 -0400
>______________________________:
>
>> > Always capitalize the word english.
>
>> Even when playing Billiards?
>
>The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
>is it "top"? Or "screwing")
No wonder you Brits never get to have sex, you think screwing is something
you do with a stick, balls and holes....
DMP
Paul L. Kelly wrote in message <362f1631...@news.mindspring.com>...
>twc...@raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim Chew) attempted to infuriate me
>by saying:
>
>>>>>
>>>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Sick bastard.
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
>Let's have tea.
And then we'll cut 'is head off.
DMP
Kimberly Chapman wrote in message <70ncr2$n...@freenet-news.carleton.ca>...
>
>Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>
>What's a Mick?
$20 bucks, same as in town...
Lars Clausen
> "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>
>>
>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>
>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>
>>
>>Sick bastard.
>>
>
> Oh, let's be nice to him!
May I? May I? Please?
-Lars "Obelix" Clausen
--
Lars R. Clausen (lrcl...@cs.uiuc.edu)
A *real* smart bomb would call in sick, perhaps move to another country,
changing its name in the process, open a beach bar maybe and live out its
days in safe anonymity. -- Barry O'Neill in rhod
Lars Clausen
And you think it is...?
-Lars "Suddenly not quite sure he wants the answer" Clausen
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <70nj2n$5...@news1.newsguy.com>
Froom: "DMP" <ten.asu@rekrapmd>
On: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 10:29:20 -0500
______________________________:
> >The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
> >is it "top"? Or "screwing")
> No wonder you Brits never get to have sex, you think screwing is something
> you do with a stick, balls and holes....
s/think/know/
All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <70ncr2$n...@freenet-news.carleton.ca>
Froom: aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman)
On: 22 Oct 1998 13:44:02 GMT
______________________________:
> What's a Mick?
Famous middle-aged (or more) English (Yorkshire) former cricketer, now
in court in France trying to overturn a judgement of guilty in the
matter if his punching his girlfriend in the face.
His defence seems to rely more heavily on his inability to turn up in
court for the first trial (because he was in South Africa at the time
- tricky Johnnies, airports...) than any claim that he might not have
done the punching.
Alternatively: <http://www.infind.com> - My generosity got all used up
on the previous one.
Barry O'Neill
>
> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>
> What's a Mick?
Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
Italians or b) French.
regards,
Barry
--
Caution! This .sig slippery when wet.
Ben Fisher
>
> Also Sprach DMP:
>
> Massage: <70nj2n$5...@news1.newsguy.com>
> Froom: "DMP" <ten.asu@rekrapmd>
> On: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 10:29:20 -0500
> ______________________________:
>
> > >The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
> > >is it "top"? Or "screwing")
>
> > No wonder you Brits never get to have sex, you think screwing is something
> > you do with a stick, balls and holes....
>
> s/think/know/
>
> All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>
> Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
> it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.
I hate to tell you this Malc, but the baby is only wearing a diaper.
Ben
--
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons | I don't claim to
For you are Crunchy | speak for Intel.
And taste good with Catsup | Yet.
Modify my email address to reply
DMP
Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
s/prevert/pervert/
And yes, I am one, but you make that sound like a bad thing...
>
>Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
>it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.
What kind of nonsense is that? A mailman's cap? If the stork was a
mailman, wouldn't he just package the baby, throw in the postal box and be
done with it?
Besides what does this have to with the topic we were discussing?
Charles A. Lieberman
> Before we're nice to you, are you female?
If not, will our being nice to him make him female?
--
Charles A. Lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
Brooklyn, New York, USA | stopped to pick up his brass I just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- Anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html
Kenneth Sörling
aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman) finally caught me
off-guard while I was hiding in rec.humor.oracle.d, pushed me
face-first into the wall, and slapped on the cuffs while hissing:
>
Who says you can't put catsup on a chocolate cake anyway?
Lars Clausen
> Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>>
>> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>>
>> What's a Mick?
>
> Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
> particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
> Italians or b) French.
That must be... Sjælland! Or Fyn! Or Gotland! No, wait, I know... Als!
Or maybe Anholt! Don't tell me! It's one of the Faeroe[1] Islands!
-Lars "What did I win?" Clausen
[1] Or however Færøerne is spelled in English/Merkin/whatever.
Lars Clausen
Internet Oracle:
>
> Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>
>>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>
> s/prevert/pervert/
s/pervert/pervect/
Combined with long, nasty teeth and fangs, green scaled skin and a nasty
temper at leisure.
-Lars "Oz?" Clausen
Chris OBrien
<bon...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>>
>> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>>
>> What's a Mick?
>
>Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
Or, perchance, OBrien.
Chris "Yeah, and whasis name from Law & Order"[1] OBrien
[1] This is really embarassing, I watch that show all the time and I
can't remember his name. I remember Jill Hennesy[2].
[2] Who is from my home town, Kitchener! <kenny>Woo-hoo</kenny>
~~~
obi...@home.com
"No. Cry not. Poo. Or poo not. There is no cry."
- motivation for my 3 month old son.
Chris OBrien
<lrcl...@shasta.cs.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>On Thu, 22 Oct 1998, ten.asu@rekrapmd thusly discussed the words of the
>Internet Oracle:
>
>>
>> Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>>
>>>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>>
>> s/prevert/pervert/
>
>s/pervert/pervect/
>
>Combined with long, nasty teeth and fangs, green scaled skin and a nasty
>temper at leisure.
>
>-Lars "Oz?" Clausen
s/Oz/Aahz/
Al Sharka
> (Kimberly Chapman):
> >"Munchkin" (sp...@sucks.it) writes:
> >>
> >> This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic
> >> here?
> >
> >I have a shiny paperclip.
> >
> Who says you can't put catsup on a chocolate cake anyway?
No, no, no. That's the day I'm restin'.
Tom Tom Harrington
>It had to happen eventually. On (22 Oct 1998 13:44:02 GMT)
>aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman) finally caught me
>off-guard while I was hiding in rec.humor.oracle.d, pushed me
>face-first into the wall, and slapped on the cuffs while hissing:
>>
>>> [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>>> Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>>> cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>>
>>What's a Mick?
>>
A "Mick" is an Irish transvestite?
>You know, like in Patriot Games and the such.
>They're all named Mick, you know! When they assume other names, it's
>just to show off.
There were transvestites in Patriot Games?
> Mickey Rourke had the courage to keep his name, but
>then he had to blow it by pumping silicon into his cheeks. Pshah!
Mickey Rourke is a transvestite?
Somehow this makes think of Tim Curry, dressed in green lingerie,
singing "I'm just a Mick transvestite, from transexual western Dublin!"
in an Irish adaptation of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
"Mick!"
"Colleen!"
"Mick!"
"Dr. O'Malley!"
"Rocky!"
"Uggnhh!"
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ----- t...@rmi.net ----- http://rainbow.rmi.net/~tph
"And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"
Tom Tom Harrington
>Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>>
>> What's a Mick?
>
>Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
>Italians or b) French.
Iceland?
Crete?
Cyprus?
Tom Tom Harrington
>
>Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>
>>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>
>s/prevert/pervert/
It's time for NAME THAT REFERENCE, the most popular game show here in RHOD:
"I'm warning you, if you try any of your preversions [sic] in there,
I'll blow your head off."
Anyone? Anyone?
Lars Clausen
> Mickey Rourke is a transvestite?
>
> Somehow this makes think of Tim Curry, dressed in green lingerie,
> singing "I'm just a Mick transvestite, from transexual western Dublin!"
> in an Irish adaptation of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
>
> "Mick!"
> "Colleen!"
> "Mick!"
> "Dr. O'Malley!"
> "Rocky!"
> "Uggnhh!"
LOL!
-Lars "Whatever happened to the Great Famine?" Clausen
Lars Clausen
> On 22 Oct 1998 15:00:19 -0500, Lars Clausen
> <lrcl...@shasta.cs.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>
>>On Thu, 22 Oct 1998, ten.asu@rekrapmd thusly discussed the words of the
>>Internet Oracle:
>>
>>>
>>> Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>>>
>>>>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>>>
>>> s/prevert/pervert/
>>
>>s/pervert/pervect/
>>
>>Combined with long, nasty teeth and fangs, green scaled skin and a nasty
>>temper at leisure.
>>
>>-Lars "Oz?" Clausen
>
> s/Oz/Aahz/
Aahz: No relation
-Lars "Relation to what?" Clausen
Paul L. Kelly
Once I got an e-mail from Kibo.
--
Paul L. Kelly, whose world famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet.
bright...@mindspring.com
Put periods in-between the words to send me e-mail. Or if you know
my real address you can use that.
Paul L. Kelly
>In article <70nrur$9...@news1.newsguy.com>, "DMP" wrote:
>>
>>Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>>
>>>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>>
>>s/prevert/pervert/
>
>It's time for NAME THAT REFERENCE, the most popular game show here in RHOD:
>
>"I'm warning you, if you try any of your preversions [sic] in there,
>I'll blow your head off."
I love it when you talk dirty.
Al Sharka
> >>-Lars "Oz?" Clausen
> >
> > s/Oz/Aahz/
>
> Aahz: No relation
>
> -Lars "Relation to what?" Clausen
Babs and Buster?
Daniel E. Macks
: Also Sprach Charles A. Lieberman:
: > >
: > > Always capitalize the word english.
: >
: > Even when playing Billiards?
:
: The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
: is it "top"? Or "screwing")
So what do all the rest of the billiard players do while you're
screwing on their table? Play pocket-pool?
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighitng fishies wonder what you use the
chalk for
--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks
Daniel E. Macks
:
: Paul L. Kelly wrote in message <362f1631...@news.mindspring.com>...
: >twc...@raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim Chew) attempted to infuriate me
: >by saying:
: >
: >>On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 23:28:38 GMT, bright...@mindspring.com (Paul
: >>L. Kelly) wrote:
: >>
: >>>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
: >>>>
: >>>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
: >>>>>
: >>>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
: >>>>
: >>>>Sick bastard.
: >>>
: >>>Oh, let's be nice to him!
: >>I say we cut 'is head off.
: >
: >Let's have tea.
:
: And then we'll cut 'is head off.
Dessert! Or save it for the DMPBQ and use it as a punch-bowl.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies do not taunt happy-fun-head
Barry O'Neill
>
> On Thu, 22 Oct 1998, Barry O'Neill wrote, without the least grovelling:
>
> > Kimberly Chapman wrote:
> >> What's a Mick?
> >
> > Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
> > particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
> > Italians or b) French.
>
> That must be... Sjælland! Or Fyn! Or Gotland! No, wait, I know... Als!
> Or maybe Anholt! Don't tell me! It's one of the Faeroe[1] Islands!
Possibly. You may be getting us confused with the Oenjellsons[1]
though...
regards,
Barry
[1] I *think* that's a made-up name, but no doubt this is the perfect
froup to find out that Lars "Wolf" Oenjellson invented iced tea in
AD1173.
--
Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted
for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]
Carla Miriam Levy
>>>>> "DMP" == DMP <ten.asu@rekrapmd> writes:
DMP> Malcolm Pack wrote in message
DMP> <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>> All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
DMP> s/prevert/pervert/
DMP> And yes, I am one, but you make that sound like a bad
DMP> thing...
>> Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings
>> the baby it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.
DMP> What kind of nonsense is that? A mailman's cap? If the
DMP> stork was a mailman, wouldn't he just package the baby, throw
DMP> in the postal box and be done with it?
DMP> Besides what does this have to with the topic we were
DMP> discussing?
s/discussing/disgusting/
carla
--
*--------------------------------------------------------------------------*
Carla M. Levy ~ http://hussle.harvard.edu/~clevy ~ Harvard Physics
"She is a very, very smart person, and she doesn't suffer fools gladly."
--JMS on NAM
Tim Chew
<lrcl...@shasta.cs.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>On Thu, 22 Oct 1998, Barry O'Neill wrote, without the least grovelling:
>
>> Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>>>
>>> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>>> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>>> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>>> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>>>
>>> What's a Mick?
>>
>> Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
>> particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
>> Italians or b) French.
>
>That must be... Sjælland! Or Fyn! Or Gotland! No, wait, I know... Als!
>Or maybe Anholt! Don't tell me! It's one of the Faeroe[1] Islands!
>
>-Lars "What did I win?" Clausen
>
>[1] Or however Færøerne is spelled in English/Merkin/whatever.
I don't think it is.
--
HRH Prince Timothy T. W. Chew, Duke of North Hills
"Despite convincing proof that the practice actually prevents cancer,
smoking near jet fuel is not advisable." -- Carmen J. Giant
The Annals of Improbable Research. (Vol. 4 No.5)
Blow a raspberry to e-mail me.
Tim Chew
<bon...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
>Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>>
>> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>>
>> What's a Mick?
>
>Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
>particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
>Italians or b) French.
I'll have you know, The Normans were not French. They were just
Vikings who sold out.
Tim Chew
>In article <70nrur$9...@news1.newsguy.com>, "DMP" wrote:
>>
>>Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>>
>>>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>>
>>s/prevert/pervert/
>
>It's time for NAME THAT REFERENCE, the most popular game show here in RHOD:
>
>"I'm warning you, if you try any of your preversions [sic] in there,
>I'll blow your head off."
>
>Anyone? Anyone?
Too easy, but I don't want to make any mythtakes.
Jeff Zeitlin
wrote:
>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
And I suppose that all RHODites are post-verts?
(Yeah, I know that was an obvious one. Go easy on me; I'm a
beginner in comparison to y'all.)
>Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
>it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.
You still think storks bring babies? Whassamatta, ya nevva hoid
o'cabbij leevz?
--
Jeff Zeitlin
jzei...@cyburban.com
Paul L. Kelly
saying:
>Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>>
>> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>>
>> What's a Mick?
>
>Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
>particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
>Italians or b) French.
We have received some e-mail messages from a fellow whose last name
is O'Dor. That was funny enough, but --
<Dave Barry>
and I am not making this up --
</Dave Barry>
it turns out his first name is Richard. When I realized this, I
laughed uncontrollably for about fifteen minutes. My cow-orkers
almost called an ambulance.
__
bright...@mindspring.com
Insert periods in-between the words to e-mail me.
Paul L. Kelly, whose world-famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
William J. Evans; mail protected by spamgard{tm}
:
:>Kenneth Sörling wrote:
:>> (Kimberly Chapman):
:>> >"Munchkin" (sp...@sucks.it) writes:
:>> >> This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic
:>> >> here?
:>> >I have a shiny paperclip.
:>> Who says you can't put catsup on a chocolate cake anyway?
:>No, no, no. That's the day I'm restin'.
:Once I got an e-mail from Kibo.
XIV
Richard Fitzpatrick
"DMP" <ten.asu@rekrapmd> wrote:
>
> Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
> >Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
> >it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.
>
> mailman, wouldn't he just package the baby, throw in the postal box and be
> done with it?
>
> Besides what does this have to with the topic we were discussing?
Well, since you ask... I've been *waiting* for someone else to mention babies
interacting with non-human warm-blooded creatures...
Riiiiight <leans back, cracks knuckles>
Scroll down if difficult to offend.
WARNING. THE FOLLOWING FILK IS DISGUSTING AND PUERILE IN THE EXTREME. DO NOT
PROCEED IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY BABY JOKES, REFERENCES TO INFANTOPHAGY,
GRATUITOUS REFERENCES TO MINORITY RELIGIONS (EVEN THOUGH TRUTHFUL, THEY ARE
IRRELEVANT, REALLY, JUST THERE TO SCAN) OR THE POKING OF PUBLIC FUN AT
ESSENTIALLY PRIVATE TRAGEDIES.
Dingo - Baby in its Mouth (to the tune of Ghost Riders in the Sky[1])
The Seventh Day Adventists drove out to Alice Springs, Alice Springs, Alice
Springs. They took their baby with them but it didn’t mean a thing, mean a
thing, mean a thing.
Dingooooo, Dingoo-ooh, baby in its mouth.
The Pastor and his family, they settled down to eat, down to eat, down to eat.
They were having vegies, but the dingo wanted meat, wanted meat, wanted meat.
Dingooooo, Dingoo-ooh, baby in its mouth.
The Campers gathered round to search the area, area, area.
They searched for hours and hours but could not find Azaria, Azaria, Azaria.
Dingooooo, Dingoo-ooh, baby in its mouth.
A truckload of coppers drove out to the Rock, to the Rock, to the Rock. They
shot a dozen dingos but only found a pair of socks, pair of socks, pair of
socks
Dingooooo, Dingoo-ooh, baby in its mouth.
<Slow, soulful bit> Now two long years have passed and desert life is tough,
life is tough, life is tough. <Quick, bantering bit> But the dingos are all
smiling now that Lindy’s up the duff, up the duff, up the duff.
Dingooooo, Dingoo-ooh, baby in its mouth.
<sotto voce, quickly>
[Munch, crunch, dig-a-hole-and-bury-it.]
[1] Is it really a filk of Ghost Riders in the Sky? I've always thought so,
but I can't carry a tune in a bag and I could well be wrong. If you recognise
it as something else, please let me know.
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
Richard Fitzpatrick
"DMP" <ten.asu@rekrapmd> wrote:
>
> Paul L. Kelly wrote in message <362f1631...@news.mindspring.com>...
> >by saying:
> >
> >>On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 23:28:38 GMT, bright...@mindspring.com (Paul
> >>L. Kelly) wrote:
> >>
> >>>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
> >>>
> >>>>
> >>>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
> >>>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>Sick bastard.
> >>>>
> >>>
> >>>Oh, let's be nice to him!
> >>
> >>I say we cut 'is head off.
> >
> >Let's have tea.
>
> And then we'll cut 'is head off.
ITYM 'ead. HTH. HANpommyD
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <70nrur$9...@news1.newsguy.com>
Froom: "DMP" <ten.asu@rekrapmd>
On: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 13:00:55 -0500
______________________________:
> >All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
> s/prevert/pervert/
I typed "prevert", and I *meant* "prevert". Goddamned splling flames!
> And yes, I am one, but you make that sound like a bad thing...
I believe my statement to have been neutral and non-judgemental, you
Goddamned prevert you.
> Besides what does this have to with the topic we were discussing?
Have we started another game of "statements"?
--
Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)
UCE > /dev/null
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <lyww5sn...@shasta.cs.uiuc.edu>
Froom: Lars Clausen <lrcl...@shasta.cs.uiuc.edu>
On: 22 Oct 1998 15:00:19 -0500
______________________________:
> s/pervert/pervect/
Whatever happened to RA?
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <3649cf1a...@news.cyburban.com>
Froom: jzei...@cyburban.com (Jeff Zeitlin)
On: 22 Oct 1998 19:31:01 -0500
______________________________:
> >Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
> >it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.
> You still think storks bring babies? Whassamatta, ya nevva hoid
> o'cabbij leevz?
Sure, I hoid o'cabbij leevz, but I never shagged one. I've had sex
with literally nearly four storks, though.
Fwoarr! Look at the cloaca on that!
Malcolm Pack
Massage: <362F9DC2...@cableinet.co.uk>
Froom: Barry O'Neill <bon...@cableinet.co.uk>
On: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 22:04:03 +0100
______________________________:
> Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted
> for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]
Stolen, with thanks.
Charles A. Lieberman
> >Funny, I'm only inspired by my own currency.
>
>
> Do you watch the news a lot?
> Or are you a newspaper reading type?
I think this is a non-sequitor even by RHOD standards.
--
Charles A. Lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
Brooklyn, New York, USA | stopped to pick up his brass I just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- Anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html
Nils Desle
>
> Barry O'Neill <bon...@cableinet.co.uk> attempted to infuriate me by
> saying:
>
> >>
> >> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
> >> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
> >> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
> >> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
> >>
> >> What's a Mick?
> >
> >Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
> >particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
> >Italians or b) French.
>
> We have received some e-mail messages from a fellow whose last name
> is O'Dor. That was funny enough, but --
>
> <Dave Barry>
> and I am not making this up --
> </Dave Barry>
>
> it turns out his first name is Richard. When I realized this, I
> laughed uncontrollably for about fifteen minutes. My cow-orkers
> almost called an ambulance.
Hi. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm stupid. Could you please elaborate
on exactly how "Richard" makes the O'Dor last name funnier than just a
simple reference to "odour"?
Stupid.
Charles A. Lieberman
> "I'm warning you, if you try any of your preversions [sic] in there,
> I'll blow your head off."
>
> Anyone? Anyone?
_Dr. Strangelove's Day Off_
What do I win?
Paul L. Kelly
to infuriate me by saying:
>Also Sprach Jeff Zeitlin:
>
>Massage: <3649cf1a...@news.cyburban.com>
>Froom: jzei...@cyburban.com (Jeff Zeitlin)
>On: 22 Oct 1998 19:31:01 -0500
>______________________________:
>
>> >Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
>> >it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.
>
>> You still think storks bring babies? Whassamatta, ya nevva hoid
>> o'cabbij leevz?
>
>Sure, I hoid o'cabbij leevz, but I never shagged one. I've had sex
>with literally nearly four storks, though.
>
>Fwoarr! Look at the cloaca on that!
STORK FORKER!
Paul L. Kelly
>Paul L. Kelly wrote:
>>
>> Barry O'Neill <bon...@cableinet.co.uk> attempted to infuriate me by
>> saying:
>>
A common nickname for Richard is "Dick".
Paul Andinach
> Also Sprach DMP:
>
> > Besides what does this have to with the topic we were discussing?
>
> Have we started another game of "statements"?
What's that, then?
Paul
--
"I seem to have developed a reputation for the uncanny... It may be
related to a certain escapade involving a couple of planets which
shall remain nameless."
- Orson Welles
Al Sharka
> On Fri, 23 Oct 1998, Malcolm Pack wrote:
> > Also Sprach DMP:
> >
> > > Besides what does this have to with the topic we were discussing?
> >
> > Have we started another game of "statements"?
>
> What's that, then?
Weren't you here the last time?
DMP
Nils Desle wrote in message <3630308A...@cegeka.be>...
>Paul L. Kelly wrote:
>>
>> Barry O'Neill <bon...@cableinet.co.uk> attempted to infuriate me by
>> saying:
>>
>> >Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> >> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> >> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> >> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>> >>
>> >> What's a Mick?
>> >
>> >Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
>> >particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
>> >Italians or b) French.
>>
>> We have received some e-mail messages from a fellow whose last name
>> is O'Dor. That was funny enough, but --
>>
>> <Dave Barry>
>> and I am not making this up --
>> </Dave Barry>
>>
>> it turns out his first name is Richard. When I realized this, I
>> laughed uncontrollably for about fifteen minutes. My cow-orkers
>> almost called an ambulance.
>
>Hi. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm stupid. Could you please elaborate
>on exactly how "Richard" makes the O'Dor last name funnier than just a
>simple reference to "odour"?
>
Dick.
DMP
Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70p4a1$6e6$2...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>Also Sprach DMP:
>
>> Besides what does this have to with the topic we were discussing?
>
>Have we started another game of "statements"?
I dunno, have we?
Kenneth Sörling
t...@rmi.net (Tom "Tom" Harrington) finally caught me off-guard while I
was hiding in rec.humor.oracle.d, pushed me face-first into the wall,
and slapped on the cuffs while hissing:
>Your English is good, but I'm worried about your accent. If "FAQ"
>rhymes with "luck" for you, then you need to be careful who you say
>"FAQ" to.
>
Luckily I've never had to pronounce it out loud, and I'm surrounded
mostly by swedes anyhow. Most of them know the word, sure, but few
would be offended or think I was insulting them. But as a matter of
fact, I 'hear' the word FAQ inside my head as rhyming with 'stuck'.
So how is it pronounced then? Like 'snack', 'pack' and 'whack'?
My accent is a bit influenced by English English, in which the A is
accented a bit differently at times. For example, 'Bastard' is often
pronounced 'Baahstard'. My spelling should also tip you off; for
example, I usually spell color 'colour'. And almost everytime I need
to write a word like 'realize' or 'agonize', I have to stop and decide
whether to use an 's' or a 'z'.
Englis is fun, but it's also confusing at times. There are some
cultural minefields to cross. For example, while dreaming up that
VP-FAQ thing I found some good rhymes which weren't very PC, and may
have been _extremely_ offensive to some of my fellow Rhodites, and so
I left them out. Better to ax a joke than to hurt a would-be friend.
We Swedes are set up for social blunders in that area. We're flooded
by a lot of American movies and TV shows, and _none_ of them have been
edited for political correctness or language unsuitable for
children.[1]
We also don't 'dub' our movies (or whatever you call the voice
overlays in one's own language) and TV shows, and this leads to two
side-effects:
1: We pick up on accents and pronounciations, and as a result we learn
English faster. Good.
2: We pick up on cuss-words and obscenities, without having the
cultural context to make them offensive to our ears. Less good,
especially when we take them abroad.
//Kenneth "FAQFACE" Sörling
=================================
[1] We also get to see all the sex and noodity 8)
Sweden is less sinful than is commonly believed in the States, but we
are definitely more relaxed in that area. Movies are sometimes cut
down for violent content, but not for sex. I seems to me to be the
other way around in America.
What's the message there? "It's okay to kill people, but not to fuck
them" ?
------------------------------------------------------------------
My thoughts and opinions are my own and not those of my employers.
Their last original thought was back in 1957.