CLASSIC VIDEOGAMERS POETRY COMNTEST WINNERS
J Manazer
Yes..the first ever Classic Gaming Poetry Contest is over and the winners
have been determined!!!!
But wait......what do the winner get?
Well I'll tell ya!!!
**********1st Prize**********
7800 Shrinkwrapped Tank Command
7800 Shrinkwrapped Hat Trick
7800 Boxed Galaga
5200 Boxed Realsports Baseball
2600 Boxed California Games
2600 Shrinkwrapped Realsports Baseball
**********2nd Prize**********
7800 Boxed Water Ski
7800 Boxed Hat Trick
5200 Boxed Soccer
2600 Boxed California Games
2600 Boxed Realsports Baseball
**********3rd Prize**********
7800 Boxed Karateka
7800 Boxed Hat Trick
5200 Boxed Soccer
2600 Boxed Realsports Baseball
Sounds pretty good doesn't? I bet you wish you entered don't ya....don't
worry....you will get another chance, but not today....today we celebrate
the winners and here they are!
*****************************
FIRST PRIZE GOES TO THE DYNAMIC POETRY DUO: DALE AND KAREN DOBSON!!!!!
FOR THEIR POEM ENTITLED "HUNTING" AND HERE IT IS!!
Hunting
Whenever I'm out on a Classics safari
Searching for any and all things Atari
And stumble across a new flea or thrift store
I can't help but wonder who's been there before
Who's sifted the bin full of games through their hands,
The "Pac-Man"'s and "Combat"'s and "Missile Command"'s?
Did they find something rare, like a game by Konami?
A "Gremlins"? A "Wall Ball"? An "I Want My Mommy"?
Did another collector beat me to the punch?
Is he gloating and planning to brag after lunch?
Was it someone with kids who is just getting by,
Or was it a rival? Good heavens, Sum Guy?!?
My mind races on as I pass through the foyer
And try to fight off this insane paranoia
Resist it I must, for my head must be clear!
The finds that I've come here to find may be near!
And searching the store for those little black carts
I remember what makes this all dear to our hearts
The games, all those games that I may not have seen
I'd LOVE to play "Death Trap" or "Music Machine"
The rare games I find that I already own
I can share with the world - no collector's alone!
And it makes me remember that Sum Guy may be
Just another collector, collecting like me
But I leave the store wondering... should I stop by
Again Tuesday? Next week? On the Fourth of July?
Were those games put out minutes ago? Or last year?
And I still have to wonder - who else has been here?
-Dale & Karen Dobson
*****************************
SECOND PRIZE GOES TO A MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION: WILLIAM "Butch"
Cassidy
(actually his nickname isn't "Butch"...I made it up)
The Gamer's Curse
by William Cassidy
At 8 a.m. I begin my quest
To find the game that's truly best.
Why so early? For that's the key,
To beat Sum Guy to each new flea,
Or thrift, or store, or large yard sale,
At which might lie my Holy Grail.
My bank account is overdrawn,
My closet space is all but gone.
To some this hobby can't be worse,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
With cash in hand I strike on out,
To scour yard sales scattered about.
Luck's not with me; I make no finds,
No classic games of any kinds
Are at this place--with frown on face
I continue on my merry pace.
Yes, I'll keep on till I've no bread,
Until I'm broke or maybe dead.
And my games will travel in my hearse,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
At the next yard sale I have more luck,
Uncommon carts for half a buck.
But I need more! So I'm on my way
To hit ten thrift shops in just one day.
I walk into the Junk-O-Mart
Hoping to find that special cart.
I rummage through electronic gear. . .
Combat, Combat--nothing here!
The supply of carts can be terse,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
I look over shelves of hardwave,
Consoles, computers, but all so bare!
Here's a joystick that was chewed by molars,
There's a system with no controllers!
I wonder why the prev'ous owners
Reduced these things to mere parts donors.
At ten bucks each I pass them by,
To save that dough for one more try.
My need to find more carts endures,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
Another thrift! My hopes now lift,
That I might find a gaming gift.
Hmm. . . the carts here are 1.99. . .
But for Pitfall II that's truly fine!
The other carts here aren't worth the price,
Maybe the next place'll turn something nice.
But my optimism is running low,
I must see my collection grow!
I need my fortunes to reverse,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
I hit more shops in rapid order.
This one sells carts for a quarter.
A couple for Coleco Vision,
Hey! A new Intellivision!
It looks like it was just brought in,
But why do I see no games then?
"Where are the games?" I ask the cashier,
But why do I see no games then?
"Where are the games?" I ask the cashier,
"Some guy just bought them; he was just here."
In hatred for Sum Guy my thoughts immerse,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
I'm now low on funds, but I go on
To another shop, this time a pawn.
An Atari pile! I sort through the mess,
In hopes that it is Combat-less.
Haunted House, Breakout, Football, Vanguard,
BMX Airmaster: hey, that's ER!
A smile spreads across my face,
Thank the Lord I found this place!
I now head home, no gold in purse,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
But on the way, off course I veer
To another sale, and something's here!
But on the way, off course I veer
To another sale, and something's here!
There before me sits a Vectrex!
It's line graphics are better than. . . BMX!
But it costs a whole ten bucks!
I've only cents; this really sucks!
I plead with him, "Please give me credit!
And to you I'll be indebted!"
I'd have a loan to reimburse,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
He refuses, I hang my head,
And Sum Guy gets it instead.
I console myself while in the car,
"I've an ER! I've an ER!"
My finds _were_ good; my life has meaning,
Now to give them all good cleaning.
After all is said, I feel great glee
'Cause I can brag on r.g.v.c.!
With only Gamers I now converse,
But such lot is the Gamer's Curse.
**************************
FINALLY, THIRD PRIZE HAS BEEN AWARDED TO LARRY "LEFTY" LEFEBVRE
(yes his nickname is "lefty"...why? I dunno..maybe he is left handed)
LEFTY SUBMITTED A TRIO OF TASTEFUL VERSES FOR YOUR PLEASURE....IT WAS HIS
THIRD POEM WHICH MADE HIM A WINNER!!!
POEM #1:
Follow That Thread
That loved to buy classics by the hundred
He bought and he bought, until he was blue
And when it was over, he had nothing new
But on he went, still following that thread
POEM #2:
Ethics
------
alt.atari.2600 is the only place you want to go,
to buy, trade, sell classics, and make some dough.
If you wait long enough, you'll get a good deal,
but you have to be patient until you get the feel.
Just read the messages from the bottom to the end,
and if this also fails, create a WTB ad to send.
-
In a very short while, you'll have plenty of mail,
you'll have what you want, and it works without fail.
Send out that check real soon for the system or the game,
because backing out, will certainly give you a bad name.
If you don't get your item within the fourth week,
email the person and give him another week.
If that doesn't work and you can't work it out,
send email to warn everyone, but don't pout.
-
Most people are up-front, trustworthy, and honest,
but sometimes, you meet one that's far from the best.
Just remember one thing to always keep in mind,
treat others right and fair, and always be kind.
POEM #3:
Garage Sale Blues
-----------------
There once was a middle aged man that I'll called Teak,
who forever did Garage Sales religiously every week.
2600 cartridges is what he was always looking for,
and no matter how many he found, he still wanted more
All the while, looking through boxes and cartons,
that might have the cart: Chase the Chuck Wagon.
There wasn't many carts that he didn't already own,
but he was always willing to give new ones a home.
-
One day while he was looking, he found in a box,
all kinds of cartridges, Rares, ER's, and Xonox.
He asked the attendant how much for everything,
she responded real quickly, offer me something.
So I asked if she would take $5.00 for it all,
and she quickly said "Make it $10.00, that's all".
Shaking all the while I was reaching for my wallet,
I quickly paid her, my head pounding like a mallet
The goods I quickly picked up and shoved in my car,
the day was very young, so I continued to look far.
My greed showing through, still hoping to get more,
on I went while my feet were beginning to get sore.
-
I found a few more, but nothing worth mentioning,
and I was nearing the very end of my garage saling.
At the very last one, not having found very much,
I asked the attendant if he had some carts or such.
He said very quietly, that someone else made the buy,
and I had just missed it all because of "Some Guy".
I queried what they were, knowing I really shouldn't ask,
he said "Why, ten boxes of new 2600 carts.", with a task
If I'm sounding disappointed, you're definitely right,
but I had some good finds, so I'll just call it a night.
I brought it all home and cataloged it right away,
and got myself ready to try it again for another day.
**********************
NOW I WISH I HAD A PRIZE FOR EVERYONE WHO ENTERED
(combat..combat...anyone want a combat?), BUT I DON'T SO INSTEAD
I'LL JUST POST THE HONORABLE MENTIONS AND MY GIFT TO THEM WILL BE TWO
SECONDS
ADDED ON TO THEIR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME (im sure Andy Warhol is rolling
over
in his grave...if he is dead...Is he? I don't know...)
HERE THEY ARE.....
*******************************************************
LETS START WITH A PLETHORA OF HAIKUS
geemu sekaichuu throughout the game world
ichiban hoshii-no wa the number one wanted game
c t c w da is c t c w.
- Galen Komatsu
odd pac-man goes bonk
pale ghosts flicker like madness
boy, does this game suck
- Galen Komatsu
Chase the Chuckwagon
Like gold for the Atari
Game about dog food
-Christopher Daniello
new mexico sand
hundred men, shovels in hand
e.t. bonanza
- Galen Komatsu
zero-one combat
five of the long-green a pop
has J.G. gone mad?
- Galen Komatsu
day's end, tired feet
savers, goodwill, sally-arms
not even combat
- Galen Komatsu
Bandai no
Kousokusen ga
hoshii da zo!
-Russ Perry Jr
anticipation
250 long list
supercharger disc
- Galen Komatsu
digging through cart heap
chuckwagon for fifty cents!
sell for hundred bucks
- Galen Komatsu
parker bros. cart
bad glue, label fallen off
t'is be only frogger
- Galen Komatsu
s-nes makes me bore
many bad games are abound
kaboom rocks the room
- Galen Komatsu
reji-no baka cashier's foolishness
yakamashii gaki screaming, noisy, little brats
mise-no oto sounds of the thrift store
- Galen Komatsu
*******************************
HOW ABOUT A FEW LIMERICKS
"Frogger Limerick"
There once was a frog who was stuck
On wrong side of road with poor luck
Though he hopped like mad
Never reached lily pad
Turned flat by the tire of a truck
-Christopher Daniello
The once was a Galaga fan
With too much time on his hands
Got a bee in his bonnet
And fixated on it
Now the dual-ship is king of the land
***************************
THE ACROSTIC COLLECTOR
(EDITOR'S NOTE: One type of acrostic poem is one in which the first letters
of each line spell out a particular word...)
Compiling many systems, stacked
Over four feet tall
Letting games accumulate
Laying in the hall
Every room I enter
Comes with certain risks
To me
Climbing out of bed when it is
Only six a.m.
Looking through the classifieds to
List the day's events
Eager to hit yard sales that
Commence at eight and go
Til Three
I'm a collector
I'm a collector
I'm a collector
God help me
Cannot pass a thrift or I'll
Obsess on what's for sale, 'cause
Lying under piles there might
Lurk the Holy Grail, so
Each time that I leave the house, it
Carries me
To Lord-knows-where
Calling several numbers written
On a dozen sheets
Lost within the lists of all the
Laymen that I meet, 'cause
Every person that I
Come across may be a contact
To me
I'm a collector
I'm a collector
I'm a collector
God help me
I'll put it away later
I'm putting it off 'til then
I'm gonna get 'round to it but I don't know when
I know that we're late for dinner
But the store's just a mile away
And I'd prefer not to have to return some other day
I either do what *I* want but sleep on the couch
Or I do it *your* way and feel like a grouch
I know that it's time for bed, dear
But I still need a night or two
I've got deals on the 'Net that I don't want to fall through
They have cartridges I've been craving
And I have games I should trade or sell
So I'll just stay up all night and call in that I'm not well
If I lose you and my job and the dog won't stay
I'll at least have some video games to play...!
Casing all my prized possessions
Out where all can see
Letting guests politely nod, who'll
Laugh after they leave
Expecting (or just hoping) one will
Come with a real interest
To see
Craving the acceptance
Of my non-collecting mate, who
Longs to lose the clutter, but who's
Learned it won't abate, 'cause
Every person has an inner
Child, and mine's a gamer
Totally
I'm a collector
I'm a collector
I'm a collector
help me
By: Jeff Rothkopf
***********************************
By: Craig Maloney
The vid games today are not real unique
they're lame and their boring and quite pa-theh-tique
There's Figters and scrollers and Kombats galore
and more crappy games than shelves in a store
Original games are the ones from my youth
Get dots in a maze, or pro-tect a tooth.
shoot monsters above and sharks down below
or fly with a jetpack down in a hole
Save us from disaster, us from despair
Fire bombs at a thing which yells out "Beware"
Drive round on a track, blow up, see the tires
Buy out thumb savers like "autofires"
Guide orange dots with snouts and cute birdie feet
and play the same games with a kid down the street
The graphics were old, with 3 channel bleats
but damnit, these games are still hard to beat.
So that's why we head to thrifts and to fleas
looking for carts and treasures like these
to some they may be just cheap bits of plastic
but to all of us, these things are called classics.
It all starts with games like Space Wars
which stole away lots a quarters
we played and we spent
our twenty five cents
Now the cool ones want dollars, the whores.
**********************
ROSES ARE RED??!?!! ALL OF THESE WERE SUBMITTED BY A CERTAIN COLLECTOR
DOWN IN FLORIDA WHO ASKED ME NOT TO REVEAL HIS NAME....SO, AS A PROMISE TO
JEFF ROTHKOPF, I WON'T TELL YOU THAT HE WROTE THESE....
THE NEW YORK COLLECTOR
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I collect classic games
You got a problem with that?
THE FLORIDIAN VIDEO GAME PLAYER
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I love playing classic games
When my arthritis isn't true
THE FORGETFUL PLAYER
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Video games are great
Roses are red
*****************************
Video, video, video games
Spread across the electronic planes
Never did anyone think the difference they would make
It has been two decades past
Since Atari released that game that would last
And still that is the classic game that we do take
Others would follow that lead
But some made games just for greed
And thus the crash resulted as reward for those snake
But Nintendo thought ahead
They knew the genre was not dead
And they piled up profits like a seven-layer cake
So here we are in the now
Where there are systems piles like a cow
But no one knows the directions things will take
Is there another crash
Or will be the N64 be too brash
I just hope to keep on playing, for goodness sake
By: Mike Dougherty
**********************
THRIFTING
by Lee K. Seitz
We "chase the Chuckwagon"
whenever we can
To own the most cartridges,
that is our plan
Sum Guy was just here?
Oh, how cruel fate
He even took Combat!
That really does grate
But look over there
amongst the refuse
I spy Lost Luggage
and a copy of Squoosh!
For fifty cents each
I take home my plunder
Upon r.g.v.c
my brag, it will thunder
*************************************
By: Russ Perry Jr
Spending my money hand over fist
Looking for games that may not exist
Through every flea, every thrift, every sale
Search high and low, the quest for the Grail
With every game time and space disappear
Like Ahab sought Moby, my destiny clear
There's no doubt that gaming's the hobby for me
But 2000+ games is just insanity!
************************************
Atari-wulf: King of the geeks.
What ho! We've heard the glory -
of carts rare and neat
chuckwagons and color cubes
prototypes complete
Glorious flea market finds
for but a few bucks
but none would dare compare with
the great Atari-wulf
Who complete his set of carts
he was a good collector!
To the flea market he went
to plunder it fully
he dove into the boxes
a man posessed wholly
dispatching evil carts out
the dread frogger commons
Combats lay beside him now
he pushed them all aside
When dids't behold his tir'ed eyes see
that made them open wide
Unreleased and yet unknown
a cart to hold with pride!
He blinked his eyes with disbelief
his eyes decieved him not
So rare! This cart a jewel, see!
Combat II, no rot!
He flipped through VGR's guide
no mention he did find
He played back rgvc posts
back through his tired mind
No mention of this he saw
could he quite recollect
An unmentioned Atari release
worth more than he'd expect!
He took it to the counter
the great Atari-wulf
and asked the person behind there
how much for this great find
The man did smirk and say to him
This cart I cannot sell
I see by your wide smile that it's
worth more than I can tell
Atari-wulf stepped back at this
most shocking show of power
His eyes burned red, his anger hot
his breath began to sour
With quick reflex he grabbed the man
and spoke with gritted teeth
"I'll have that cart or you will pay
I'll bury you beneath."
The man stepped back, and though quite quick
and grabbed for his pen
"I'll scratch the label up, you fool
and rip the label end"
With anger our hero did grab
the flea marketer's arm
And with a twist he bent it back
and did the man great harm
The cart was tossed into the air
right within his reach
and with a catch he snatched it up
like baseball coaches teach
He bolted for the door and smiled
Here's 5 for your pain
and if you try that stunt once more
I'll break your arm again
Quickly as if the wind pushed on
he rushed towards his door
And slammed the cart into the slot
And turned to channel 4.
And what did he see before his eyes?
Familiar tanks and planes
And as he buriend his head in his hands
he realised his mistake
The combat II he had at home
was only just a fake
And how could such a man be lead
in this Atari fable?
Someone affixed unto the cart
a number 2 VCR label.
By: Craig Maloney
(Apologies to the original author of Beowulf)
*****************************
"E.T. Half Rhyme"
Dirty little E.T. cartridge, found you in a pile of trash
Although you weren't by yourself, all your company was smashed
What a cruel hand Fate dealt to you, never to mate with a console
Never to bore a game player, or sit in dusty thrift shop windows
Buried in a desert landfill by Atari bean counters
I'll finish the job they started and crush you into splinters
-Christopher Daniello
*********************
--Ode to Combat--
O dear Combats how I love them so
But if I bought them all, I'd be so po'
Watching the tanks battle head to head
I dare you to play me, youll be so dead
My momma always told me, war is bad
I'm only an impressionable young lad
I played it everyday, joystick in hand
but I wanted real life, out in Jungle lands
So when I was seven I ran away
Me and my friends just left one day
We traveled for days, to find our spot
where we would engage in this Combat plot
It got out of hand, they are all dead
what happened? have I lost my head?
I killed all my friends, and to this day
I still dont realize, games are just to play
-Drew Fuehring
********************
As Benjamin "Bubba" Buford Blue said about cookin' shrimp....WELL THAT'S
ABOUT IT!
Thanks to everyone who participated....you realy made it tough to choose
the winners!
HAPPY GAMING and remember it was THE BUGGLES who sang "Video Killed The Radio
Star"