TOP TEN REASONS MAGIC IS BETTER THAN SEX
S. Coons
10. You don't have to cuddle after a game of Magic.
9. A game of Magic can last for hours.
8. You can Clone a Shivan Dragon but try that with your partner.
7. Protective card sleeves are easier to put on than condoms.
6. Good sex can cost you $100, but a Black Lotus will only cost you $50.
5. You can Control Magic a Shivan Dragon, try THAT with your partner.
4. A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously.
3. Your opponent won't ask you if you'll still respect them in the morning.
2. You can always find someone to play Magic with you.
And the number one reason why Magic the Gathering is better than sex....
1. An eight second game of Magic is good!
--
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Jim Pitts
S. Coons <sco...@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu> wrote:
>TOP TEN REASONS WHY MAGIC IS BETTER THAN SEX
>
>
>
>10. You don't have to cuddle after a game of Magic.
>
>9. A game of Magic can last for hours.
>
So can sex.
>8. You can Clone a Shivan Dragon but try that with your partner.
>
But not many people want to clone their partners.
>7. Protective card sleeves are easier to put on than condoms.
>
That's why people get married.
>6. Good sex can cost you $100, but a Black Lotus will only cost you $50.
>
Good sex can cost you nothing too ...
>5. You can Control Magic a Shivan Dragon, try THAT with your partner.
>
In todays world there is alot of sex that involves control magic ...
>4. A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously.
>
And sex does not?
>3. Your opponent won't ask you if you'll still respect them in the morning.
>
No, because if you play like I do, you are still playing Magic in the
morning...
>2. You can always find someone to play Magic with you.
>
You can always find someone to have sex with you ... if you aren't too picky.
>
>And the number one reason why Magic the Gathering is better than sex....
>
>1. An eight second game of Magic is good!
>
Eight seconds of sex is pretty darn good too ...
[snip]
:)
--
- pi...@mimosa.astro.indiana.edu ^ | James J. Pitts -
- Most people are sheep. /@\ | IU Physics Dept -
- Only a select few are fit to rule. / \ | Voice: 812-855-8247 -
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J Greely
(S. Coons) writes:
[reasons deleted, except for...]
>1. An eight second game of Magic is good!
Ah, but will your partner want to play with you again?
I won't bother numbering these:
- Magic requires no foreplay; you can just grab a partner and
start playing.
- you can switch opponents as often as you like, and no one
will mind.
- brutally beating your partner is okay.
- Protection really works.
- Magic comes with a rulebook.
- parents don't go crazy when they catch their children
playing Magic with the neighbor's kid.
- you don't feel insecure if you have a little deck.
- you can play Magic while eating a sandwich.
- any number of people can play in a game of Magic, and
everyone gets a turn.
- if your deck just isn't working, you can blame it on
the shuffle.
- Tom Wylie is easier to understand than Doctor Ruth.
- when you pay for Magic, you're guaranteed of a good time.
- you can always get your partner to play Magic with you
in public.
- you can shuffle your deck as much as you want.
- your partner can shuffle your deck, too.
- when you buy Magic, you know it's fresh from the factory.
- when you get tired of a deck, you can make a better one.
- your neighbors won't mind if you watch them play Magic.
- it's okay to play Magic with your sister.
- you don't *need* a battery-powered shuffler, but it's easier
than using your hands.
- you don't have to tell your current partner about everyone
you've ever played with.
and, finally (not for lack of ideas, just because I want to go home now),
- if you quit playing Magic and sell all of your cards, you
can probably afford sex.
--
J Greely (jgr...@synopsys.com)
David DeLaney
> - Tom Wylie is easier to understand than Doctor Ruth.
And the Question of the Day is:
How long before this starts showing up in .sig files?
Dave "counting the instants" DeLaney
--
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It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
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Steve Thompson
: - any number of people can play in a game of Magic, and
: everyone gets a turn.
Uh, yeah, but what's the difference? ;)
J Greely
(David DeLaney) writes:
>And the Question of the Day is:
> How long before this starts showing up in .sig files?
It always frightens me to find that I've turned up in someone's .sig
again. Usually I'm not even trying to be witty or clever.
A few more (inspired by my trip to Origins):
- after playing Magic for fourteen hours straight, you'll
still be able to play the next morning.
- you can't get arrested for making a profit on Magic.
- getting a Stream of Life out means the game will last
*longer*.
- landwalk can get you right past the most formidable
defenses.
- (do I really need to say anything about poking?)
- having precious jewels can get your deck out faster
(oops! that one works for sex, too).
- when your opponent cuts your deck, you don't have to get it
sewn back together.
"Since I have only received 4 replies
as of today I must assume I did not
post to a wide enough variety of
groups. Here it is reposted for all."
-- Michael R. Johnston
--
J Greely (jgr...@synopsys.com)
J Greely
(Steve Thompson) writes:
>: - any number of people can play in a game of Magic, and
>: everyone gets a turn.
>Uh, yeah, but what's the difference? ;)
Elbows.
"She is an insipid fundamentalist with
a strong deathwish! I'm so happy
that's what we have in store for her..."
-- Monsieur Boche
--
J Greely (jgr...@synopsys.com)
David Rogers
>
> Ah, but will your partner want to play with you again?
Exactly. I was talking with a guy earlier today who just didn't quite grasp
the concept of "playing for a prize (ante &/or tourny) is *different* from
playing for fun. Sure, you want to win in both instances, but if both
players aren't enjoying themselves in the latter, what's the point?"
David Rogers
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