Wacky July 2000 Survey - results 10-15
Finn Clark
> 10 - TWO DOCTOR WHO AUTHORS HAVE A PUBLIC SLANGING MATCH ON RADW, IN THE
TRADITION OF CORNELL AND MCINTEE. WHICH TWO DO YOU THINK WOULD PROVIDE THE
MOST ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE REST OF US?
Yes, again it's bait-an-author time! :-) Almost every novelist with an online
presence was mentioned, with the significant exception of Lance Parkin. Make
of that what you will. Some of you weren't interested in all this a-rassin'
and a-wrestlin', but we'll pass over such delicacy and proceed straight to the
mindless brutality!
ONE VOTE:
1 - Terrance Dicks (versus the Orman/Blum entity).
2 - Daniel O'Mahony (against Miles).
3 - Mark Clapham (against Miles).
4 - Peter Anghelides in a battle with Stone and Topping to prove who's the
funniest.
5 - Jonny Morris (he'll be officially an author when the September books come
out - buy his as fast as you can) with Dave Stone. I can't see Jonny getting
furious about anything (unless Dave called him from overseas while Jonny was
trying to fall asleep), and Dave would insist on comedy. It would be the
ultimate in surreal, friendly slagging, and the contents might just be
understandable enough to use as the script for an episode of Friends.
TWO VOTES:
6 - John Peel, against Russell and Blum (the latter as seen previously over War
of the Daleks).
7 - Justin Richards, against Lawrence Miles and (a good one here) Steve Cole.
8 - David A. McIntee. In terms of shear cussedness and all-out, drag'em out
slugfest, it is hard to beat the Cornell-McIntee feud. If we have to have one
again, I vote for a rematch. Dave Stone and Lawrence Miles can be their
seconds. Ten paces each, then turn. My money's on McIntee.
9 - Keith Topping against Dave Stone in a clash of the comedians.
10 - Pip and Jane Baker, against each other.
JANE: I'd just like everyone to know that *he* wrote that line about 'the
catharsis of spurious morality'. I opined that it was extravagantly
sesquipedalian, and I vouchsafed that asseveration at the time.
PIP: Female canine quadruped! I execrate the diurnal period I ever laid ocular
organs on you.
JANE: You scion of unbetrothed progenitors -- though craniophallus might be a
more apposite epithet...
THREE VOTES:
11 - Steve Cole, twice against Lawrence Miles and once against his editorial
successor: Richards.
FOUR VOTES:
12 - Kate Orman, once fighting alongside her husband (against the dreaded
Dicks), but otherwise pitted against him. One of the latter was rather
surreal... "Kate and Jon get bored with all the moderation stuff and stage a
mock fight on RADW before abruptly saying "this is silly, let's make up" and
wander off together leaving RADW looking collectively bemused."
SIX VOTES:
13 - Gary Russell. Four people wanted to see him pitted against Lawrence Miles
("I would pay good money to see this!") but there were also mentions for John
Peel and Dave Stone. Regarding the latter: "Hell I've heard half of that
argument and I'm still laughing about it!"
14 - Jon Blum. Three times against his wife and once with her against Uncle
Terry. The other suggestions were John Peel ("Oh wait, it's been done.") and
Dave Stone ("no offense intended to either of you!")
15 - "Shagger" Cornell. Two people wanted a Cornell/McIntee rematch, but the
runaway favourite with four votes was... "I'd love to witness Paul Cornell and
Lawrence Miles have at each other. Paul viciously bitching at Lawrence and
Lawrence taunting him with "Shagger Cornell, shagger Cornell!" I'd actually
love to see Miles win that particular slanging match - IMO it'd be Cornell's
just desserts for booting Dangermouse off the group. Just kidding Paul! Love
ya really!"
The runner-up with EIGHT VOTES:
16 - Dave Stone, though one got the feeling that this was for comedy value
rather than all-out nastiness. He was variously pitted against Keith Topping,
Gary Russell, Peter Anghelides, Jon Blum, Jonathan Morris and himself. The
dear fellow tried to oblige...
> All right.
> Keith, I think you are a person with a really curious smell.
> Lawrence: I think you are a person with an even more unique smell than Keith.
...but sadly no one took up the challenge.
But with a staggering EIGHTEEN VOTES:
17 - Lawrence Miles, the runaway winner. Four people wanted to see him up
against Gary Russell, while four more wanted him against Shagger. "For sheer
nastiness, I'm afraid I'd have to say Lawrence Miles and Paul Cornell. But let
me say this - I've met them both and like them both as people, so in no way am
slagging them off. I just think they would be two that wouldn't know when to
quit."
There was no shortage of alternate protagonists - Dave Stone, Steve Cole
(twice), Daniel O'Mahony and Mark Clapham were all suggested. But most popular
of all was the proposal of: "Lawrence Miles and...well, anyone really. :)"
For happy frivolity, we'll close with the following suggestion:
Welcome to Celebrity Author Deathmatch! In the plaid corner, Justin Richards.
In the blue corner (oops, now it's suddenly transformed into a tangerine
coloured corner) is Lawrence Miles.
Lawrence comes out fighting with a double punch. Yes, he's slapped both
Interference books around Justin's chops. He's started to torture him using
meticulously researched South American anti-human rights torture methods. It
looks like a one-sided fight but what's this...??
Justin gets up and walks away. I don't believe it, he's just ignoring Larry.
Justin's pretending that Larry doesn't even exist!
Lawrence has disappeared in a puff of logic and it's all over.
> 11 - DO YOU THINK QUESTION 10 IS A GOOD ARGUMENT AGAINST THE MOD GROUP?
Apparently you don't! No: 24, Yes: 7. I'll quote a few of your comments...
THE NO VOTES:
1 - Not relevant. RADW will still exist as a great forum for that kind of
entertainment :-D
2 - Nope, not even close. :)
3 - It's a good argument FOR a mod group
4 - Nah. There's no way the mod group would stop slagging as bizarre as what
I'm imagining. They'd probably be rolling on the ground with the rest of us,
and Dave and Jonny.
THE OTHER VOTES:
5 - No, I think it's a good argument for exploding sheep.
6 - What's a mod group?
7 - The New Faces newsgroup is really quite indifferent to it, I believe.
8 - I can't be bothered with the Mods. Just let em ride their scooters and
listen to their music.
> 12 - WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING DO YOU THINK WOULD MAKE THE BEST DOCTOR IN AN
UPCOMING FEATURE FILM - BRITNEY SPEARS, SYLVESTER STALLONE OR VAL KILMER?
SYLVESTER STALLONE:
1 - What an enchanting choice! Sylvester Stallone, 'cos if Britney got the job
I'd have to kill her and if Kilmer got it I'd kill myself. I reckon Stallone
is much more intelligent than he seems from his action flicks, so if he gained
a bit of weight and let himself lighten up...
2 - Well, Stallone would be entertainingly inarticulate, and that'd provide a
welcome whiff of nostalgia for us Hartnell fans...
3 - Stallone, so long as he includes the 'ham and egger' line.
4 - Stallone I guess from that line up. At least it might be fun to watch if
not horrific.
5 - Sly Stallone *does* have some acting skills, he is great in Rocky, Cobra &
First Blood.
6 - Sly Stallone is actually old enough now, so he'd probably get my vote. Val
Kilmer would be the Master, Britney Spears could play the companion.
BRITNEY SPEARS:
1 - Britney Spears. Her first line, on sitting up from her regeneration is
"Oops, I Did It Again." The local GP finds her and deduces she can't possibly
be human when examining her tits. The New Doctor then proceeds to change into
something astonishingly perverted and with her new found traits of gyrating
around (dodging laser beams) and singing arias in a voice constantly on the
brink of orgasm, she defeats the evil villain who's last line is "I so want to
call her a talentless pop-tart, but she's actually quite good. Urgh." Three
seasons later, she foolishly tells Davros to "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" and
turns into Fran Healy.
2 - Britney Spears. We've never seen her act, so she may surprise us all. On
one condition though, she's not allowed to sing.
3 - Britney Spears. They'd all be terrible, but at least Britney would be easy
on the eye...
4 - Britney Spears (well, it'd give us something to watch at least)
5 - Britney. With Christine Agulera as the Master. With kinky lesbo sex.
6 - Britney I Love Youuuuuuuu - but not as much as Nyssa
7 - Britney Spears. If only because it would make lots of money.
8 - Britney Spears.
9 - Britney. Easily.
10 - Spears.
11 - Val Kilmer would be best, but I'd pay more to see Britney.
12 - Britney. Because while she's making it, she'll be too busy to make any
new records. And that's gotta be good news.
13 - Not Sly, he'd just taint it with a Hollywood stench IMO. Haven't seen any
VK films (belieeeeeeveitorrrrrrrnot!) so I'd say Britney Spears - playing an
evil doll from another dimension who corrupts innocent, slightly podgy,
sexually vulnerable 16-year old boys called Keith and turns them into
love-crazed zombies, doing all her evil bidding. It'd be true to life wouldn't
it? :-)
VAL KILMER:
1 - Ouch, ouch, and, out of that list, I guess I'd have to go w/ (ouch) Kilmer.
2 - Good grief, what an awful selection! Val Kilmer would cause me to tear out
slightly less hair than the others, I suppose.
3 - Kilmer. Still wrong for the part, just not *as* wrong.
4 - Kilmer. He _can_ act, I believe.
5 - Kilmer.
6 - Umm, Val I guess.
7 - Val!
8 - Of those, I guess Val Kilmer would be ok. He can do crazy.
9 - Val Kilmer
10 - Val Kilmer
11 - Val Kilmer, he may have been crap in The Saint but anyone who can get
through the whole of Top Secret with a straight face could handle Who.
12 - Val Kilmer
13 - Val Kilmer, of these three, but is this a serious question?
14 - Val Kilmer. (Spitney Brears?? Urgh!)
15 - Val Kilmer
16 - Val Kilmer.
17 - Val Kilmer with such a stinking choice as that.
18 - Any of the three would probably produce a large audience. None of the
three would be suited to the role. I think the least non-suitable is probably
Val Kilmer.
19 - None of the them, really. VK would probably be the least worst.
20 - Oh, definitely pass. With a choice like that, Val Kilmer, but only
because I don't know enough about him to say he'd definitely be wrong for the
role!
21 - Val Kilmer, only because I don't know who he is. :-)
22 - Kilmer, because he'd regenerate into George Clooney in the next film
THE PAIN, THE PAIN:
This is too offensive to answer.
No, sorry. I would rather kill myself.
Pass the hemlock.
Why not use all of them and remake the Three Doctors? "Like, unh. So you two
guys gunna be my replacements, unh? A Batman anna cow? (No offence Britney,
it just punned.)
So the final votes are:
Stallone Stallone - 6
Britney Spears - 13
Val Kilmer - 22
Thus radw's choice for the next Doctor is Va... <ouch> Vul Kilm... I'm sorry,
I just can't say it.
> 13 - WHICH TV COMPANION DO YOU THINK MOST DESERVES A BENNY-LIKE SERIES OF
ONGOING DOCTOR-FREE ADVENTURES?
Not everyone thought any of them had the required complexity. "It's a tribute
to how exquisitely characterised the TV companions were that none of them
immediately springs to mind."
But almost all of them got a mention! Even the dead ones!
ONE VOTE:
1 - The entire school population of Unearthly Child. All seven of them.
2 - I'll cheat: Ian and Barbara.
3 - If they had Steven storm out at the end of the Massacre and not have been a
wuss and changed his mind 20 seconds later, then him.
4 - Sara Kingdom or Katrina, either one.
5 - Adric, because it would be so mercifully short, and *final*. :-)
6 - Mel, natch
7 - The Brigadier!
8 - Benton! The New Adventures Of A Used Car-Salesman!
9 - Kamelion.
10 - Turlough
And despite the question, a few non-TV companions got mentioned anyway:
11 - Frobisher
12 - Apart from Benny...
13 - Christopher Cwej... oh, TV?
14 - Compassion. Oh, TV companion, dammit.
TWO VOTES:
15 - Dodo and her wacky battles with venereal diseases, mental institutions and
crazed gunmen. Actually, I think that Chaz Daniels has already come up with a
few...
16 - A TV spin-off based around UNIT, featuring the Brig as the experienced old
soldier advising a new, younger UNIT "family".
17 - Liz Shaw. Out of the Doctor's shadow she would have been like Quatermass
in kinky boots.
18 - Jo Grant. Lots of drugs, sex, nudity, being blown up, and an ex-husband
showing up all the time spoiling the mood.
19 - Nyssa.
20 - Tegan, because she was such an intense character and her leaving the Doc
was under such unpleasant, forced and unhappy circumstances.
THREE VOTES:
21 - Leela. The tale of a feisty warrior woman trying to bring us her kids
whilst fighting the galaxy's most implacable bureaucracy. Like a cross between
XENA, CATHY COME HOME, Kafka's THE CASTLE and BUCK ROGERS IN THE TWENTYFOURTH
CENTURY...
22 - K9, with either Sarah or Ace (!)
FOUR VOTES:
23 - Jamie, no doubt! He kicks so much ass! I'd love a few action adventure
swashbuckling Jamie books.
24 - The wacky adventures of Harry Sullivan: Bumbling MI5 guy. He saves the
day by being an idiot.
25 - Ace, for sure :) "Kicking Dalek Butt is My Business!"
The runner-up with SIX VOTES:
26 - Sarah Jane Smith (with or without K9). There was even a crossover
suggestion: Kolchak the Night Stalker.
And the winner with NINE VOTES:
27 - Romana (two people insisting on her second incarnation). "If she managed
to (insert tAC spoiler here) then that would be an interesting mini-series at
the very least."
> 14 - WHICH DOCTOR DO YOU THINK IS BEST SUITED TO THE NOVEL FORMAT?
HARTNELL:
Hartnell because his tone and his stories are really classic science fiction
and fantasy. He is at home on Venus as he is in ancient Egypt or 1960s London.
He's a time travelling gentleman which I think works well.
The First
First
First or fourth. At any rate, writers seem able to catch their 'voices' better.
First or Sixth.
The First and Sixth Doctor all come out a lot better on the page.
It's a tie between Hartnell and Colin, I think. The sixth has far more scope
for improvement over his TV stories, but if he'd been the hero of the NAs I
think I'd have ended up clawing my eyes out. On balance the sixth is probably
better for one-off novels, but the first would work better in an ongoing
series.
PERTWEE:
Pertwee. Definitely Pertwee.
TOM BAKER:
Baker's. Don't ask me which one, though.
Tom Baker, easier to visualise.
First or fourth. At any rate, writers seem able to catch their 'voices' better.
The fourth, by the virtue of having a large set of companion/doctor
combinations to choose from.
COLIN BAKER:
6th
ColinDoc
Baker's. Don't ask me which one, though.
The First and Sixth Doctor all come out a lot better on the page.
First or Sixth.
It's a tie between Hartnell and Colin, I think. The sixth has far more scope
for improvement over his TV stories, but if he'd been the hero of the NAs I
think I'd have ended up clawing my eyes out. On balance the sixth is probably
better for one-off novels, but the first would work better in an ongoing
series.
MCCOY:
McCoy, of course. :-)
7th.
7
The seventh was developed pretty well from his TV incarnation, I think.
I've only read EDA's and Cold Fusion. I suppose the 7th, since the TV era was
so hideously bad.
The Seventh Doctor.
I quite like the seventh in the books.
Seventh
Seventh - the character was built up further on the page than on-screen, with
the advantage of having had the visual cue (one movie isn't really enough)
The Seventh
The seventh.
The seventh
the seventh.
Probably the Seventh.
Seventh Doctor. Always has those complex plans, inscrutable motives, etc.
Probably the Seventh. I though it worked out well, anyway.
7th, because let's face it, most of his character was created in the novels
anyway.
7, because they eventually *made* him that way.
The 7th. He didn't get that much of a tv format anyway, and it feels more like
the real McCoy when he's in print. Weird, that.
MCGANN:
Eighth
Eighth
Eighth.
The Eighth.
The Eighth - I think the novels are at their best when they're doing new things
with the Whoniverse, unfettered by existing continuity.
OTHER:
Though not really a Doctor, Peter Cushing's lovable Dr. Who
The current one, which ever that happens to be at the moment.
The current one.
Dr. Seuss.
Doctor Watson.
Zhivago.
So the votes are:
Hartnell 7
Troughton -
Pertwee 1
Tom Baker 4
Davison -
Colin Baker 6
McCoy 19
McGann 5
...though you could arguably add a couple of votes to McCoy and McGann for
those "the current one" votes. I chose to leave them out because they're not a
statement of faith in the actual *Doctor*, but merely a preference for NAs and
8DAs. Obviously this is a runaway victory for McCoy, while Troughton and
Davison got no votes at all!
> 15 - WHICH DOCTOR DO YOU THINK IS LEAST SUITED TO THE NOVEL FORMAT?
HARTNELL:
First, unless the PDAs featuring him have dialogue where he stumbles over what
he meant to say.
TROUGHTON:
2nd.
2nd
2
Second.
The Second
The second.
The second.
I'd guess the 2nd.
Troughton, but that's just because no-one I've read seems to get him right.
PERTWEE:
The Third Doctor (mainly because UNIT and the Master *always* pop up in Pertwee
PDAs. Christ, what a total bore).
I think they are all suited, although Pertwee doesn't come off at all well.
TOM BAKER:
4
Fourth
the fourth
The fourth - most writers just can't seem to capture him successfully.
The fourth. You need Tom's presence to make it work.
Tom Baker. It is hard to replicate his `presence' in a book.
DAVISON:
Fifth
Fifth, simply due to the complete lack of personality and mannerisms to
describe. It's more visual than anything and that's hard to get in a novel.
The Fifth Doctor. I don't think anyone's really got him right yet.
PeteyDoc
Davison
Peter Davison.
The one from that farming series, I keep thinking he'll stick his arm up a cows
arse.
Peter Davison by a long chalk, since I've yet to read any book - wether an
original novel or a TV novelisation - which gets across anything other than a
sort of vaguely Doctorish cypher with "a pleasant open face".
COLIN BAKER:
Possibly the 6th, which is much better suited to audio - it's difficult to
write for ColDoc without it coming out Tom-ish IMHO
MCCOY:
Though not really a Doctor, I think the Virgin Doctor fits the bill nicely.
MCGANN:
I liked the fifth Doctor on TV, but for some reason I haven't bothered to read
any of the novels he's in (oh -- I did read Divided Loyalties. Shudder.) I lost
patience a while ago with the Doctor-shaped void in some of the EDAs. I'll look
at the new arc to see how the character develops.
The 8th Doctor never had a chance to really develop fully. So it's going to be
the most difficult to get the 8th Doctor consistent and good. However this
allows for true development in a way that is restricted with the previous
seven. So it's not that easy.
Eighth
The Eighth
The Eighth, alas.
Probably the Eighth.
It's got to be the eighth, hasn't it? The evidence seems pretty conclusive.
I'm sure that if the TVM had gone to a series it wouldn't have been the case,
but with only ninety minutes of televised performance to draw on...
Unfortunately, the eighth, as there wasn't enough visual medium to get a good
grip on his character, and many authors seem to flounder w/ it.
OTHER:
The rest. [i.e. not "the current one"]
Doctor Who.
Doctor Finlay.
Foster.
More variety this time around, with every Doctor getting at least one mention
in this category. Thus Troughton (9) just pips Davison and McGann (8 each).
Tom Baker (6) is coming up behind, with the rest of the field nowhere in sight.
Pertwee has 2, while Hartnell, McCoy and Colin Baker are all on 1.
And the net votes, "best" minus "worst", are:
Hartnell 6
Troughton -9
Pertwee -1
Tom Baker -2
Davison -8
Colin Baker 5
McCoy 18
McGann -3
One can perhaps see patterns in the above voting. McCoy is the runaway winner,
with many people feeling his character was shaped by his sixty-odd NAs. Also
showing strongly are the spikier Doctors, Hartnell and Colin Baker. Both have
plenty of character for novelists to get their teeth into; it's not always a
*nice* character, but they're uncompromising Doctors. There's nothing vague or
wishy-washy about them.
Troughton and Davison, on the other hand, do poorly. Both were superb actors,
capable of far greater subtlety than the writers trying to evoke their
protrayals. Personally I can't help feeling that this is more our fault than
theirs. The second Doctor in particular is a wonderful character, absolutely
unforgettable... but if the authors can't capture him, then of course he'll
look bad.
The other three Doctors all get modest negative scores. I've posted before
about how I personally regard McGann as a "seventies Doctor" like Pertwee and
Tom Baker. All three come from television eras that were very visual, more
like the cinema than anything so literary as the stage. Complex
characterisation takes a definite back seat to a compelling lead performance.
There's nothing wrong with this, but it doesn't make a novelist's life any
easier.
Both Tom Baker and McGann attracted quite a few best *and* worst votes, but
both ended up on the minus side of the sheet. Admittedly with McGann there's
also the factor of his characterisation (or lack of it) in the 8DAs.
And now for the results of my poll on 16 Jun 1998. Same questions, but
different results:
Hartnell 2 (4 best, 2 worst)
Troughton -1 (3 best, 4 worst)
Pertwee -2 (2 best, 4 worst)
Tom Baker -2 (3 best, 4 worst)
Davison 1 (1 best, 0 worst)
Colin Baker 1 (3 best, 2 worst)
McCoy 4 (8 best, 4 worst)
McGann 3 (4 best, 1 worst)
You'd hardly guess they were the same questions! Everyone's scores are much
flatter. McCoy still slaughters the others in the "best" votes, but also picks
up several "worst" votes. Troughton, Davison and McGann all do much better,
while Hartnell and Colin Baker score worse than they did in 2000.
Note that while the 2000 low-voted Doctor was Pertwee, in 1998 it was Davison.
Only one person voted for him either way!
I don't know if this disparity can simply be explained by looking at the more
recent books released for the various Doctors. Certainly McGann and Davison
look better if you ignore their BBC releases [1], but Troughton's PDAs wipe the
floor with his Virgin novels and he's also plummetted.
[1] - for Davison: The Ultimate Treasure, Divided Loyalties, Zeta Major, Deep
Blue and this month his second Bulis. Apparently he's getting the short end of
the stick with his Big Finish audios too. You gotta feel sorry for the guy...
NEXT: "What do you think is the most worthless Doctor Who book of all time?"
Finn Clark.
http://members.aol.com/kafenken/
Paul Andinach
> > 10 - TWO DOCTOR WHO AUTHORS HAVE A PUBLIC SLANGING MATCH ON
> RADW, IN THE TRADITION OF CORNELL AND MCINTEE. WHICH TWO DO YOU
> THINK WOULD PROVIDE THE MOST ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE REST OF US?
>
>
> Yes, again it's bait-an-author time! :-) Almost every novelist
> with an online presence was mentioned, with the significant
> exception of Lance Parkin.
You didn't see Cliff Bowman's entry, I take it.
Paul
--
The Pink Pedanther
Cliff Bowman
news:Pine.OSF.4.21.000806...@morwong.ucc.gu.uwa.edu.au...
> On 4 Aug 2000, Finn Clark wrote:
>
> > RADW, IN THE TRADITION OF CORNELL AND MCINTEE. WHICH TWO DO YOU
> > THINK WOULD PROVIDE THE MOST ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE REST OF US?
> >
> >
> > Yes, again it's bait-an-author time! :-) Almost every novelist
> > with an online presence was mentioned, with the significant
> > exception of Lance Parkin.
>
>
Hey, everyone knows my opinions don't count!
--
Cheers,
Cliff Bowman
http://www.geocities.com/who3d/
PS change "2" to "1" and remove "inter" to reply by e-mail
PPS or to put it another way, I think I replied after Finn had closed the
poll - for the first time, anyway :)
Finn Clark
>> You didn't see Cliff Bowman's entry, I take it.
>
> Hey, everyone knows my opinions don't count!
Cliff's entry came in after I'd posted the first set of compiled results, as a
result of which I promptly went out a-whoring for more! I'm up to 57 from the
original 47 and if I get a few more then I think 'twould be worth posting a new
set o' compilations.
So I want more votes! Steve Day? John Long, you out there? You want to vote?
:-)
Finn Clark.
http://members.aol.com/kafenken/
Cliff Bowman
news:20000808134803...@nso-ba.aol.com...
> Cliff Bowman wrote:
>
> >> You didn't see Cliff Bowman's entry, I take it.
> >
> > Hey, everyone knows my opinions don't count!
>
> Cliff's entry came in after I'd posted the first set of compiled results,
as a
> result of which I promptly went out a-whoring for more! I'm up to 57 from
the
> original 47 and if I get a few more then I think 'twould be worth posting
a new
> set o' compilations.
Oh Finn, the shame the shame - you completely *ignored* what could have been
taken as a troll (OK, I'm stretching a bit but bear with me). There's a
lesson there somehwere..
> So I want more votes! Steve Day? John Long, you out there? You want to
vote?
> :-)
>
Steve? John? Finn DID publish what we're doing to people who don't vote,
didn't he? We're tying them up together (if there are enough of them then
they'll be head-to-head and feet-to-feet in a short chain). At one end we're
going to tie Paul Cornell (to his abdomen - his hands will be tied but his
feet will be free, unlike the non-voting posters) and to the other we'll tie
Lawrence Miles (as with PC, he'll be comparatively unencumbered). The number
of nay-sayers will determine which bridge we get Mad Larry to walk across,
so that each author is standing on firm ground with the mere mortals
suspended above the bridge - which we'll then blow up/cut down (bridge
dependant). The winning author will be either the first one back to the pub,
the survivor, or the one who lands highest on the pile of dead radw members
(depending on how it turns out). Any radw member who actually manages to get
ripped apart will be given a severe talking to :)