NNJ C/W F Dance Partner Desired
Phil Buonomo
OK, I've had enough.
I'm tired of walking up to ladies and asking them to do couples dances
(WCS, ECS, 2-Step, or more traditional 'set-step' couples dances) only
to find out:
A) They only know line dances
B) They're only there to watch
C) They only dance with their partner
Etc...
I am a beginner/intermediate dancer in all the above listed and I want
to IMPROVE. The only way I can is to dance and I'm tired of being
frustrated trying to find someone to dance with. I had a partner, but
I only saw her at lessons and she could never find time to go out
dancing or practice (since I was paying for the lessons I shoulda
learned mine, eh?)
I'm looking for someone who wants to DANCE, preferably someone at my
skill level or a real beginner who wants to learn. I'm NOT looking
for a girlfriend, I don't care if you're 20 or 40. I'm not a tall man
at 5'6" so that may become an issue. I don't care how much you weigh
as long as you want to DANCE, and improve at dancing.
I'm looking for someone in the northern N.J. area who is willing to
commit to two or three nights a week to go dancing, take lessons
and/or practice. Someone in the Morris County area would be ideal.
If you fit the above criteria, please drop me an email at
star...@soho.ios.com, and we'll take it from there.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Phil
Icono Clast
If you ever say "No!", please read the following plea by Phil Buonomo.
May it convince you to NEVER SAY "NO!"
***
OK, I've had enough.
I'm tired of walking up to ladies and asking them to do couples dances
(WCS, ECS, 2-Step, or more traditional 'set-step' couples dances) only
to find out:
A) They only know line dances
B) They're only there to watch
C) They only dance with their partner
Etc...
I am a beginner/intermediate dancer in all the above listed and I want
to IMPROVE. The only way I can is to dance and I'm tired of being
frustrated trying to find someone to dance with . . .
I'm looking for someone who wants to DANCE, preferably someone at my
skill level or a real beginner who wants to learn. I'm NOT looking
for a girlfriend, I don't care if you're 20 or 40. I'm not a tall man
at 5'6" so that may become an issue. I don't care how much you weigh
as long as you want to DANCE, and improve at dancing.
I'm looking for someone in the northern N.J. area who is willing to
commit to two or three nights a week to go dancing, take lessons
and/or practice. Someone in the Morris County area would be ideal.
If you fit the above criteria, please drop me an email at
star...@soho.ios.com, and we'll take it from there.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Phil Buonomo
---
ş SLMR 2.1a #346 ş I snatch kisses . . . and vice versa.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internet: icono...@toadhall.com (Icono Clast)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Terry Roberts
REPLY: 1:216/0.0. cce64e8c
IC> If you ever say "No!", please read the following plea by Phil Buonomo.
IC> May it convince you to NEVER SAY "NO!"
My wife and I enjoy dancing to live music and go dancing about once a
week. We have no interest in dancing with anyone but each other. I
consider it a bother when someone asks my wife to dance. We put up
with being bothered, the guy that asks has to put up with a no for an
answer. Maybe a "Do Not Disturb" sign at our table would be a good idea.
Terry
--- Maximus 3.01
Alastair Thorne
What a wonderful world where people are so frinedly and nurturing!!
Maybe you should dance at home behind closed (and locked) doors where
no-one would bother you?
Joe Slater
In article <4ohg1d$r...@news.scruz.net>, ja...@scruznet.com says...
Depending upon where you dance, you are being extremely wise, or disgustingly
snobbish. If you frequent the venues patronized by many who monitor this
newsgroup, you are missing a lot by dancing only with each other.
Joe
Ming MAR
In <slaterDs...@netcom.com> sla...@netcom.com (Joe Slater)
writes:
>
>disgustingly snobbish.
each others' eyes, in holding each others' hands, in dancing in
each others' arms? Not everbody goes to a nightclub to dance.
Some go to get blind stinking drunk. Some go to seek love or
lust. And some go to spend time with the person they love.
I agree with you that Mr. and Mrs. jamie will miss out on some
fine dancing. I doubt that they are concerned about that. I
don't see them as being either extremely wise or disgustingly
snobbish. I see them as being a completely unremarkable typical
average normal couple.
Icono Clast
IC> If you ever say "No!", please read the following plea by Phil Buonomo.
TR}My wife and I enjoy dancing to live music and go dancing about once a
}week. We have no interest in dancing with anyone but each other. I
}consider it a bother when someone asks my wife to dance. We put up
}with being bothered, the guy that asks has to put up with a no for an
}answer. Maybe a "Do Not Disturb" sign at our table would be a good idea.
I'm sure we can all appreciate the fact that you enjoy each others'
company and dancing but, if you're dancers, you're part of a commu-
nity regardless of whether you consider yourselves to be. As members
of any other community, there are a few small things that you should
contribute to that community.
Here I am, a traveller, in a strange place. I see people around the
bar but have no idea who's a hustler, who's a lush, or who's a dancer.
They don't know me from any bar bum and don't know whether my glass
of beer contains alcohol or my orange juice is spiked with vodka.
You dance. I see you dance. I know of no other dancer there so
I'ma gonna approach you to ask your permission to dance with her (as
I recently did in Bakersfield resulting in the first and best dance
of the night). It's not so much that I want to dance with her but
that I want to get on the floor so that any dancer(s) who might be on
the premises can see that I'm there, too, and make themselves known
to me.
You might think it's a bother but I think it's a small thing
to ask, a small price to pay. I have been the guy with a dancing
woman (no, not a wife) and I'm delighted when some stranger asks her
to dance _especially_ when he _can_ dance which is usually not the
case.
Perhaps some day you or your wife will be on the road alone, or even
at home, and in need of a dance fix. You might be the guy asking
someone else's wife to dance. If at home, when in that situation,
who's going to dance with you since you never dance with anyone else?
I wouldn't. You choose to isolate yourselves. When you have the need
to dance with someone else, others will isolate you with the thought,
"Hell, they never dance with anybody anyway".
---
ş SLMR 2.1a #346 ş The Congress shall make no law . . .
R. Gray
>They are out on a date, which happens to
> take them to a place where there is dancing. They might just as soon
> have gone to a movie or a concert.
I thought Ike put it rather well. And think the flip side of it. We
have been taking the position that those who turn down dances are keeping
something from those who ask. But more importantly, they're shutting
*themselves* off from what could be a pleasant, if short-lived, experience
for them.
It really depends on the place, doesn't it? If people come to our
weekly record hops or monthly swing dances, that is a social environment.
It ain't no movie or concert. They may of course turn down dances, but
they'll be going against the grain, against the intent of the event.
If a couple is at the Rainbow Room or some other supper-club dressy-date
place, it wouldn't seem proper to intrude upon their evening.
I can only think of one place I've been that was like this. It was in
NYC a few years ago and it was called The Supper Club (I think). Jenny D.
and her trio were playing. The dance floor was small, and there were no
more than five couples. I danced only with my partner. Funny thing,
though--at the end of the evening another guy came and struck up a
conversation with us. Turned out he was from Houston and did salsa.
Wouldn't you know I was going to be vacationing in Austin within two
weeks. So we exchanged contact info, and I called the guy when I got to
Texas, and we went salsa dancing at Las Palmeras in Austin, which is where
I first saw the older salsa dancers that I found so inspiring. So you
just never know. Why close yourself off to new experiences?
Of course there is a whole range of establishments and events that are
somewhere in between. In that case the asker is taking a calculated
risk. But I still think that a gracious person would take an invitation
to dance as flattery, not as a bother, even if they say no. I'm surprised
at the number of people who go out for an evening on the town and then
take this isolationist, don't-you-dare-bother-me stance.
In an effort to understand the other side, I'll create a worst-case
scenario. Say I am out on a date with a delightful dance partner. A
gorgeous woman who is a much better dancer than I am asks him to dance.
Would that get my hackles up? Sure, unless she appeared to acknowledge
and respect the together-ness of my partner and me. All the guys I know
would be too polite and/or independent to turn her down, so let's say they
have two good dances (more than two is pushing it) while I sit at the
table trying to keep my social anxiety in check. They finish. The more
likely outcomes are that she would sit and talk with us, or go on her
merry way. Either would be okay. If she clings, she's showing poor
taste. If my partner seems enthralled by her, he's the one who is the
jerk, not her.
--Robinne
Andy Bouman
Icono Clast <icono...@toadhall.com> wrote:
>I'm sure we can all appreciate the fact that you enjoy each others'
>company and dancing but, if you're dancers, you're part of a commu-
>nity regardless of whether you consider yourselves to be.
Your response seems a bit harsh to me, Ike. This couple isn't refusing
to rotate in a dance class. They are out on a date, which happens to
take them to a place where there is dancing. They might just as soon
have gone to a movie or a concert. They don't have to socialize with
anyone else at the event if they don't want to.
Andy Bouman
abo...@uclink.berkeley.edu
San Francisco Bay Area
Ed Jay
icono...@toadhall.com (Icono Clast) wrote:
>TR}My wife and I enjoy dancing to live music and go dancing about once a
> }week. We have no interest in dancing with anyone but each other. I
> }consider it a bother when someone asks my wife to dance. We put up
> }with being bothered, the guy that asks has to put up with a no for an
> }answer. Maybe a "Do Not Disturb" sign at our table would be a good idea.
>
>I'm sure we can all appreciate the fact that you enjoy each others'
>company and dancing but, if you're dancers, you're part of a commu-
>nity regardless of whether you consider yourselves to be. As members
>of any other community, there are a few small things that you should
>contribute to that community.
Ah, m'goodpal, your stating because someone knows how to dance, they
are "a DANCER". I think the term 'dancer', in the context of this
thread, relates to one of a set of individuals for whom dancing is a
major topic in their lives. I don't think so, and I submit to you that
TR is proof of my assertion.
>
>Here I am, a traveller, in a strange place. I see people around the
>bar but have no idea who's a hustler, who's a lush, or who's a dancer.
<snip>
> You dance. I see you dance. I know of no other dancer there so
>I'ma gonna approach you to ask your permission to dance
<snip>
>
>Perhaps some day you or your wife will be on the road alone, or even
>at home, and in need of a dance fix. You might be the guy asking
>someone else's wife to dance. If at home, when in that situation,
>who's going to dance with you since you never dance with anyone else?
>I wouldn't. You choose to isolate yourselves. When you have the need
>to dance with someone else, others will isolate you with the thought,
>"Hell, they never dance with anybody anyway".
>---
God invented dance clubs so you road warriors would have places to go
when you need a dance fix.
Ciao,
Ed ~O!O~
"Oh well, you know what they say...you can lead a horse to water, but
you can't teach an old dog to make a silk purse out of a pig in a
poke..."
Rahul Dhesi
>Would you begrudge the joy two lovebirds have in looking into
>each others' eyes, in holding each others' hands, in dancing in
>each others' arms? Not everbody goes to a nightclub to dance.
The gentleman in question has probably started a long flame war
by being quite vague about *where* he goes dancing with his wife
where they do not mix.
--
Rahul Dhesi <dh...@rahul.net>
==
Names that I have been called in rec.arts.dance:
Rahul D Raul Rhaul Desi Bubaleh Ruhul
Jon Leech
In article <4ovuce$m...@agate.berkeley.edu>,
Andy Bouman <abo...@uclink.berkeley.edu> wrote:
>Your response seems a bit harsh to me, Ike. This couple isn't refusing
>to rotate in a dance class. They are out on a date, which happens to
>take them to a place where there is dancing. They might just as soon
>have gone to a movie or a concert. They don't have to socialize with
>anyone else at the event if they don't want to.
And nobody has to socialize with them, which I took as his point. What's
harsh about that?
This case isn't nearly as bad as the one where an insecure control freak
coerces/pressures/guilts his SO into not dancing with other people, if not
eventually removing her entirely from the dance community. It's usually
self-defeating in the end, but horrid to watch in the meantime if you care
about the coerced person.
Jon
__@/
KMarstille
>>Maybe a "Do Not Disturb" sign at our table would be a good idea.
>
>disgustingly snobbish.
in any other discussion, a husband describing this contentment with being
and dancing exclusively with his wife would be met with high praise and a
sense of relief that there is hope for the cultural value of marriage.
This should not be diminished just because they don't want to dance with
"us."
Kristin
--- Love is like a fire -- if you don't tend it, it will go out.
---
Andy Bouman
Robinne Gray <rl...@cornell.edu> wrote:
>It really depends on the place, doesn't it?
Yeah, Rahul is right that the original post was vague about the
setting. I am assuming (as I think Icono Clast is) from the
poster's reference to a "Do Not Disturb" sign at his table, that
we're talking about a couple going to a nightclub or bar with
live music and maybe some dancing, but people also sit around at
tables and talk, or just listen to the music.
Ike argues that if they are dancers, the couple should be willing
to dance with other dancers, even total strangers, and not just
with each other. They are part of a larger community of dancers,
says Ike, and have social obligations to other dancers who might
be present even if the setting is not a social dance.
I'm saying that a nightclub is a different environment from a
social dance. In a nightclub or bar you don't always know if people
are there to socialize, and I think it is perfectly reasonable for
a couple to treat the occasion as a date and not as a social event.
I'm usually more cautious about asking strangers to dance at a
nightclub than I would be at a social dance, where it is safe to
assume that people have come because they want to dance.
This doesn't mean that Ike shouldn't ask strangers in a bar to dance,
but I do think it's a bit harsh for Ike to judge them if they say no
to him because they want to remain with their dates. Of course, it's
an entirely different matter if they say no to Ike but yes to others
because they are dance snobs.
>If people come to our weekly record hops or monthly swing dances,
>that is a social environment. It ain't no movie or concert. They
>may of course turn down dances, but they'll be going against the
>grain, against the intent of the event.
Yes, of course, people who come to social dances are missing out if
they don't socialize. But this is not the scenario Ike described.
>If a couple is at the Rainbow Room or some other supper-club dressy-date
>place, it wouldn't seem proper to intrude upon their evening.
Some couples may also feel this way if they are wearing jeans and
sitting at a table in a local blues joint.
>But I still think that a gracious person would take an invitation
>to dance as flattery, not as a bother, even if they say no.
Depends on how it's done. If a couple is deep in conversation, it
might be rude to break in and ask one of them to dance.
>In an effort to understand the other side, I'll create a worst-case
>scenario. Say I am out on a date with a delightful dance partner.
>A gorgeous woman who is a much better dancer than I am asks him to
>dance.
Better looking AND a better dancer? Truly a worst-case scenario! :-)
But consider: we are used to dancing with lots of partners and
seeing our lovers dance with lots of partners. (Ike dances with
my wife regularly, for instance.) Some people in a nightclub might
be less interested in dancing with strangers, or less comfortable
seeing their dates do so, and I'm saying we should respect that.
Steven Lam
In article <4p2fm0$a...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, kmars...@aol.com
(KMarstille) writes:
>
> Msg-ID: <4p2fm0$a...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>
> References: <4orkkq$d...@sifon.cc.mcgill.ca>
> Posted: 4 Jun 1996 19:08:48 -0400
>
> Org. : America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
Hmmm... You forgot your smiley, right??? :-)
--
****************************************************************************
A dancer that started out with three left Member of UBC Dance Club &
feet and now dance with two. I hope I will BC Amateur Dancesport Assoc.
dance with one left and one right foot
one of these days. Slow...@mindlink.bc.ca
**************************************************
RHMcFLA
We go out to dance about twice a week. Since we dance competitively
(diamond classic novice) we mainly practice our routines. If some guy
asks my partner to dance, however, she will say "YES" (unless she's
injured or winded). She has fun; I can rest, or dance with another lady;
and we get to meet new people. Although we take our dancing seriously
enough to practice for our next event, we also enjoy the fun and
socialization of dancing. "NO" doesn't seem to enter into this equation.
Joe Slater
In article <4p3fgg$n...@agate.berkeley.edu>, abo...@uclink.berkeley.edu
says...
>
> [ lots of stuff...]
>
In thinking about why I disagreed with the ideas in the original post about
dancing only with one's SO, I decided it's because it was posted to
rec.arts.dance, which is mainly about social dancing. It is similar to me
writing:
What is this about DANCING with you guys? All this talk about dancing is
BORING and I will NOT participate in this group!!
(Don't get your hopes up.)
Joe
Jon Leech
In article <4p2fm0$a...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>,
>Although this is a dance group, there is a danger of being too fixate --
>in any other discussion, a husband describing this contentment with being
>and dancing exclusively with his wife would be met with high praise and a
>sense of relief that there is hope for the cultural value of marriage.
Or suspiscion of a severe power imbalance and insecurity problem in
their marriage.
Jon
__@/
Icono Clast
MM}I agree with you that Mr. and Mrs. jamie will miss out on some
}fine dancing. I doubt that they are concerned about that. I
}don't see them as being either extremely wise or disgustingly
}snobbish. I see them as being a completely unremarkable typical
}average normal couple.
Zactly!
Not completely unremarkable typical average normal _dancers_!
---
ş SLMR 2.1a #346 ş Bad cop! Bad cop! No doughnut!
David Prieto
I used to be bothered by guys asking my wife to 2-Step Dance, "because" I
couldn't 2-Step. I didn't like seeing my wife enjoying "something" in the
arms of another guy. Too make matters worse when my wife went out with
the "girls" for ladies night out ... she was asked to dance again and
again.
What was I to do?
If I told her I didn't want her to dance with other "guys" she would
stop, just to make me happy. I could take lessons but my wife was
already "light" years ahead of me and I was never going to be an
adequate dancer for her to enjoy. And to make matters worse I had
already taken a 2-Step lesson and "crashed & burned", never even made it
out of class.
What DID I do?
I gave it a "second" chance, I took a "beginner" 2-Step class with Benny
Corpos (Glendale-California) and the "sparks" flew. After the first
class I realized I "COULD" learn, I just needed a "REAL" instructor. I
took class after class and improved . . . NOW I go out on "MY" night out
and dance with the Ladies, for practice. I appreciate & understand that
"most" people don't have dance partners "bolted" too their hips, so it is
only natural that a "good dancer" is going to be asked. The classes and
the "PRACTICE" have elevated me to the point, where the distance between
me and my wife dancing isn't so many light years anymore.
The "moral" of the story "get an open mind", If you can beat'im joint'im.
Dave
Icono Clast
IC>I'm sure we can all appreciate the fact that you enjoy each others'
>company and dancing but, if you're dancers, you're part of a commu-
>nity regardless of whether you consider yourselves to be. As members
>of any other community, there are a few small things that you should
>contribute to that community.
EJ}Ah, m'goodpal, your stating because someone knows how to dance, they
}are "a DANCER". I think the term 'dancer', in the context of this
}thread, relates to one of a set of individuals for whom dancing is a
}major topic in their lives. I don't think so, and I submit to you that
}TR is proof of my assertion.
If TR is proof of your assertion, how come he's here? I think none of
us here is a dilettante(sp) when it comes to dancing. If it's important
enough to join this Group and to post to it, dancing is, virtually by
definition, "a major topic in their lives".
Nevertheless, I see your point.
EJ}God invented dance clubs so you road warriors would have places to go
}when you need a dance fix.
But they're not always available. Here in San Francisco, for example,
there are no dance clubs meeting most nights of the week. On those
nights, dancers go to bars and other places where there's dancing. If
that's when I'm in their town, that's where I'll go to find them
providing I can learn where those places are.
Once I find them, I won't dance 'til someone's willing to take
a chance with this stranger. That someone could be TR's wife.
You know, as do most regulars here, that I asked here before leaving
town where to go in those places I'd planned to go where I knew not
where to go. And did.
---
þ SLMR 2.1a #346 þ Hey! Don't pick up that phoׯ»’ችÃÒç NO CARRIER
Victor Eijkhout
In article <4paaf2$h...@tribune.concentric.net> David Prieto <ddprieto@.concentric.net> writes:
> [...] I had
> already taken a 2-Step lesson and "crashed & burned", never even made it
> out of class.
>
> I gave it a "second" chance, I took a "beginner" 2-Step class with Benny
> Corpos (Glendale-California) and the "sparks" flew. After the first
> class I realized I "COULD" learn, I just needed a "REAL" instructor.
Benny is by far my favourite two-step teacher.
I think a good instructor makes all the difference. And it's remarkable
that with so many good dancers / teachers in this area, you can still
find some remarkably, eh, mediocre teaching in the country bars.
I remember coming out of one of Benny's classes and going out for
practice. There place where I went was still having its own
two-step lesson. Just for fun I joined in, and couldn't do the
pattern, simply because there was no way it *could* work.
The mystery is why so many people still take these badly taught
lessons.
Victor@qqss
--
405 Hilgard Ave ......................... `Stuck in traffic while taking young
Department of Mathematics, UCLA ......... Ashley to her riding lessons 3 miles
Los Angeles CA 90024 ...................... away, mrs X puts the 200hp 4WD SUV
phone: +1 310 825 2173 / 9036 ............. into neutral, turns up the AC, and
http://www.math.ucla.edu/~eijkhout/ calls up a radio talk show to complain
about the gas tax.' [Jeff Danziger]
Ching Liu
le...@cs.unc.edu (Jon Leech) writes:
Though that depends on whether the wife shares this contentment, eh?
Some married couples are simply not very social, and while that wouldn't
be for me, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
--
Ching Liu, chin...@ugcs.caltech.edu, http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~chingliu/
"To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield" -Tennyson
Check out the Caltech Ballroom Dance Club Web Page!
http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~chingliu/Ballroom.html
Warrender
I personally think that Benny Corpos does a great service to the dance
community at large by doing just what was previously mentioned: taking
total non-dancer beginners and convincing everyone who attends that they
can indeed learn to dance and become proficient at it. He then proceeds
to do just that: teach them to dance. Many of his students then become
very involved in the greater dance world at large and the dance community
grows. I've seen some of his students start with basic two-step, then
proceed on to learn other dances and become competitors in swing,
ballroom, or latin. All a beginner needs to do is start with one dance
and one inspiring, encouraging teacher.
Lynn
David Prieto
Benny Corpos has given me a "gift", the ability to dance and to "enjoy"
what I have learned. I had to overcome a lack of natural talent, plus
having a wife who had been dancing since she was a teen-ager. Add the
fact that I had already taken a 2-Step class, 8 years ago and had
given-up becuase I couldn't even get the "basic", let alone
any "patterns". I never made it out dancing, and that was fine with me.
When I first walked into Benny's class I wasn't really hoping for much,
just to be able to "get around" and look descent, with a few patterns. I
figured I would take 3 or 4 classes and I be done. Well that was 11
class, 66 sessions ago. I am so proud of what I have been given, and my
wife is equally "happy" to have a husband who she can "really" dance
with!
I felt like a kid who couldn't read, and with some special attention and
a good teacher can "now" read, and is able to appreciate a whole "NEW"
level of enjoyment.
Dave