LNH Chapter III (cont)
Craig Thomas Judd
Chapter, or what exists of it at the moment. I'll also add my own Next Part...
Keep 'em coming!
LEGION OF NET.HEROES PART ONE
AGAINST THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL.NET.VILLAINS
CHAPTER III
Back at the the Digital Clock Headquarters, The Time Crapper returns
with the Ring of Retconn, given to him by the Looker. He walks
over to the 36 inch TV watch, and checks up on recent events dealing
with the Legion of Net Heroes, and Y-Plex Burp and Dr. Killfile.
The Time Crapper is surprised to see the Net.Heroes driving away with
Manga Man secured (by Robotech) in the back of their van. Adjusting
the frequency on the set, he receives faint images of Y-Plex Burp's
headquarters, but is unable to see clearly for the awesome protection
that Y-Plex has placed on his base. A flash of light distracts the
Time Crapper away from the set, and notices Table has brought Ben
here.
"You were correct about him. When I threw the radioactive pencil
at him, his unique metabolism reacted as you had predicted. Stories
were having plot holes placed in them, as if he was giving off some
sort of energy field. Unfortunately, I had to dust him in order to
bring him here", Table informs the Time Crapper.
"Very Good. I, on the other hand, most likely the left, since I am
right-handed, have obtained an object that will help me conquer the
Legion, once and for all. The Ring of Retconn!", proclaims the Time
Crapper.
"I am very impressed."
"You better be, or I'll make you into a Madonna clone."
"You do not have to do that. I am faithful to you."
"Now I will tell you why I sent you to retrieve him. Since he is a
being from another universal existance, with many similiarities to
our own, he does not exist here as we do. It is the same for us on
his plane of existance. My special time abilities made it possible
to cross the barrier between our existances. After he is placed in
the AuntMay-Chamber, and is emersed in the time residual excrement,
his powers will mutate into a useful form. An ability to change
reality. Let me explain to you how this is possible. Let us say
that I see Jimmy Connors play tennis against John McEnroe. It is
down to a key set, where it could tie the set, or Connors wins.
Connors wins. I write this down, and then I have Ben here use his
power on the book I wrote it in. Not only does what I wrote down
change, but the actual outcome also changes."
"I am VERY very impressed. You are truly a master of manipulation
and of time."
Trying to do his best Elvis, the Time Crapper says, "Thank you very
much. You've been a wonderful audience."
Clearing his throat, the Time Crapper says, "Place him in the
AuntMay-Chamber, now."
Table places Ben into the AuntMay-Chamber, for his transformation.
Table closes the door and turns on the machine. A low hum of
elderly laughter can be heard from the machine.
"I am going now to confront Y-Plex Burp and Dr. Killfile. You know
what to do with him when the machine is finished."
"Yes."
"Good. The next time I see you, it will be in battle, Table."
After the Time Crapper has finished talking with his lackey, he
promptly disappears. After several minutes have passed, the
machine stops, the door opens, and Ben falls out, flat on his
face. Table picks him up, and gives him some smelling salts.
Ben awakens, but still in the mindless state he was in before.
Table then pulls out a small note book, and places it under his
arm, and along with Ben, he disappears too.
After the Legion's van stopped at Headquarters, picking up more Legionaires,
filling the van to capacity, rolling on their way to Y-Plex Burp's lab,
the additional members are told of the capture of Manga Man.
After several minutes of frantic driving by Dr. Stomper, the van
SCREEEEECHES to a halt, so that Dr. Stomper does not hit the two
individuals who suddenly appeared in front of the van. The taller of
the two has a wooden arm, while the other has a mask around his face,
so he will be unrecognizable to anyone.
"I am Table. This is Plot-Error Man. We have come here to help you
fight Y-Plex Burp and Dr. KillFile. We can bring you to them, at a
much quicker rate."
"I don't trust him," mentions Cliche Dude.
"Why shouldn't we? He has never attacked us before, so why should we
not trust him," Captain Clean-Up points out.
Many grunts and curses are heard in the back of the van because the
Legionnaires who are located there are packed in like sardines, and
air is getting a bit dank.
"Who farted?" exclaims Squid Boy.
A low volumed tee-hee can be barely heard from Super_Apathy Lad.
"I ask you to trust me for the fate of the entire universe may be
at stake. To prove the worthiness of my cause, I ask if Marvel-
Zombie Boy be brought out, and prove to you that he is not what
he claims to be. "
The back door is opened, and all of the Legionnaires fall out of
the van. The Legion comes closer, and surrounds Table and Plot-
Error Man. Marvel_Zombie Boy is brought forward.
"Now, with my Incredible Do-Hickey, I will show you the truth."
Aiming the Incredible Do-Hickey at Marvel_Zombie Boy, the skin
of the robot peels off quickly, revealing the villian. Before
anyone can act, Table hits a button on the Incredible Do-Hickey,
and the robot version of Marvel_Zombie Boy dissolves.
"I can't believe it. He, I mean it, must have been leading us
to a trap. How can we ever repay you?" gasps Parking Karma
Kid.
"Just follow me, so we can defeat Burp, and retrieve your friend.
The Legion head back to the van, and when they have all piled in,
Table graps a hold of the van, and with his Incredible Do-Hickey,
they all disappear.
Manga Man awoke in a small, heavily locked room in LNH Headquarters. Luckily,
the Heroes had not been able to figure out how to undo the catches on his
armour, so he still had it, albeit without power. Robotech was still droning
away in the corner, but Minmay had stopped singing and so Manga Man was able to
block out the worst of the pain. Glancing around, Manga Man could perceive no
outstanding features in the room, apart from the steel door and barred window.
'Hah!' he thought. 'If my armour had its power, that steel door wouldn't last
a second!' But alas, the fusion battery was missing, and he was helpless.
Suddenly, above him, the air started to shimmer, finally opening into a
teleconferencing window. Through it, he could see the interior of Dr. Killfile's
lab, with the Doctor standing impatiently by.
"Come on!" urged the Doctor. "We don't have much time to waste. I've nearly
finished installing IT, and the Net.Heroes are on their way to Burp's trap.
We may need you, in case they find their way to his lab instead."
"But I'm too weak to move!" groaned Manga Man. "They turned my Power Armour
off, and played Robotech at me!"
"Ah. I had anticipated this!" The Doctor reached down and handed Manga Man
several containers of Ramen noodles, which he greedily consumed.
"Mm, that's much better!" He rose unsteadily to his feet and thumped the VCR.
Even without his Power Armour, he dented it quite badly, and the tape wrapped
itself around the heads. He then lifted himself up and through the small
teleconferencing window.
Once he was in Dr. Killfile's lab, the portal closed behind him. The Doctor
handed him a battery.
"It's only a C-size carbon battery, but it'll have to do. I've been too busy
installing IT to bother with creating a fusion battery!"
Manga Man slipped it in a slot on his armour, which lit up with many small
indicator lights for a second to show it was active.
"Yatta! That's better! I can't wait to take on those Net.Wimps! But... what
exactly are our plans?"
"I finish installing IT. Then, we wait and see if Y-plex Burp's plan works..."
--
\/\ "I can see the light! I'm saved!" Kaneda, AKIRA Book 2 /\/
====\/\"Abide by the contract of blood and inherit me!" Grossporina, SM2/\/====
=====\/\ *** WANT ANY MANGA ARTWORK DONE? Just email me! *** /\/=====
\/\ cj...@esk.compserv.utas.edu.au a.k.a. Kuro to Shiroi /\/
Zippy the Punhead
Amorphous Lad is sitting on a park bench reading the Sunday Paper from
April 1, 1980 and trying to collect his change from off the path. Each
time he gets it all picked up, he seems to drop it. He decides it has
something to do with the paper and eats it (all 794 pages of it) saving
the color ads for desert.
The extra mass allows him to shift into the form of Pigeon! and he waddles
over to the LNH secret headquarters in time to change into MASTECTOMY BRAT!
with super x-ray vision. His newly acquired power allows him to see
Manga Man disappear through the teleconferencing window.
"I wonder how he did that" Amorphous Lad thought to himself as he
melted into "Muratic Acid Kid" and disolved part of the console to regain
some mass. "Well, I suppose I should find out where they are" he said
out loud and promptly fell through a hole in the floor that wasn't there
before. On the way down he struck his head on a pipe and reverted to
"Billy Squirt" (Amorphous Lad's "secret" identity).
[Ed: Billy Squirt first appeared in LNH #15 as a kid who was getting beat
up by Marvel_Zombie. At that time Billy had not realized his secret power]
--
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Name of the Day: Zippy the Punhead
glenn alan carnagey jr
>Meanwhile, in another part of the forest...
>
>..... "Well, I suppose I should find out where they are" he said
>out loud and promptly fell through a hole in the floor that wasn't there
>before. On the way down he struck his head on a pipe and reverted to
>"Billy Squirt" (Amorphous Lad's "secret" identity).
>
>
the wheel sending the van careening into a ditch, simultaneously screaming at
the top of his lungs.
"YIIIEEEEEEEE!!! What the hell is that?" sputtered the flustered driver.
"What the hell was what? You damn near turned us all into road kill!"
shouted someone under the dogpile in back.
"That guy hovering in the air in the middle of the road!" Well, that was
what he said, but what the other netters heard was something like "dripper
dingling pollwart amortizes umplysquat!"
But there in the road, some five feet above the payment there was indeed
a hovering entity, cackling like a crow. He was wearing an oversized
jumpsuit, that looked like a bad art student's first collage, terribly
trendy and hopelessly complicated, and the images wouldn't sit still,
but shifted constantly. He had shocking red hair, a lot of it. Sitting
atop this mass he had a tall blue hat, the only docration being a small
button which said "Flaming Carrot Rules!". He had red nose and cheeks
and impossible ears, meaning that they were of the wrong kind and in the
wrong place, and he now turned them down the road behind the van, and
stared inquisitively at a moped which had pulled off the road some
hundred metres back.
It just so happened that this was Lurking Lass, currently feeling
terribly guilty about not helping her friends or at least posting
an emergency e-mail to net.911.
"AAAGGHHH, get out of my head, there's no room!"
"Hello, I'm Dada Dude, and you are not. Pudding practice tonight
bodes not again the industrial average. Playing beakersnatch
penquin, Post Toastie? O, sorry, I can be coherent for the dada-
impaired. Well, Miss Locking laddie, I want IT, and if your
fellows get by trapped by these lobotomized larynxes I won't be
able to steal it from you will you, will I?"
"AAAGGHHH, head out of my room, there's no get!"
"Soon enough, creeping critter, but I'm afraid you'll have to be
dadaized (tm) first. I need a spy and I think you'll do just
fine. There is a lab needs finding and the ultra-hackers are
not going find it following that piece of furniture."
At that moment the two villians crashed through the side of
the van and into the air, where there remained suspended by
their left knees. Lurking Lass fell to her knees and looked
up at the Dada Dude in dismay as she slipped into unconsciousness
and into a German gallery earlier in this century.....
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Come down from the hills and make my baby, Dogvillasan!"
--- Brain Dead Sound Machine, on large lizards
g-car...@uchicago.edu, if you must know