NET: Brotherhood of Evil.Net.Villians
Steve Librande
I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----
/ \
| O O | DR. KILLFILE
\ || / Villian for Hire
UUUUUU
The Ahkond of Swat
>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
>
> ----
> / \
> | O O | DR. KILLFILE
> \ || / Villian for Hire
> UUUUUU
(This looks like a job for Spelling Boy!)
Not so fast, foul fiend! That's "villain", not "villian"!
(*POOF*: Dr. Killfile vanishes in a cloud of logic)
Good triumphs again. Now where's my flight ring, already?
--
Bill Sherman S^1 `--> S^(2n+1) -->> CP^n she...@math.ucla.edu
"Sock it to ME?" - Richard Nixon, on "Laugh-In"
Karthik P Sheka
>In article <1992May6.1...@news.media.mit.edu>, st...@media.mit.edu (Steve Librande) writes...
>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
>>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>>
>>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
>
>Marvel-Zombie Lad, who is on monitor duty at the Legion of Net.Heroes Clubhouse
>(which looks like a giant computer terminal stuck upside down in the ground)
>spots the "IMMINENT VILLAIN ATTACK" warning flashing and sends out a summons to
>all LNH members, muttering to himself, "Y'know, I remember an X-Men issue which
>started off just like this..."
Kid Yesterdaze answers the signal from Marvel-Zombie Lad, and notices how
stupid the LNH was to put Dr. Killfile in the Internet Zone, instead of just
killing him...
Karthik Sheka, aka Kid Yesterdaze
Benjamin R Pierce
Marvel-Zombie Lad, who is on monitor duty at the Legion of Net.Heroes Clubhouse
(which looks like a giant computer terminal stuck upside down in the ground)
spots the "IMMINENT VILLAIN ATTACK" warning flashing and sends out a summons to
all LNH members, muttering to himself, "Y'know, I remember an X-Men issue which
started off just like this..."
--Ben
Maurice Beyke
was going against the evil Dr. Gardunza (yeah, I know; I've giving Spelling
Boy something to do), where Alan Moore started developing the themes he later
brought to fruition in Watchman. And I bet this current storyline will
simply be a rehash of subjects better done by Moore and Vietch.
(Oh, I forgot.) Comics-Snob-Boy, answering the summons, MZL.
_____________________________________________________________________________
| __ / aka Maurice Beyke \ Disclaimer: Any opinions |
| / _) __ * __ / m...@batman.b11.ingr.com \ expressed are totally |
| /-( / ) /--\ / ( / bey...@infonode.ingr.com \ ludicrous, & should |
|/___)(__/ / / __)/ Surrealistic Ontologist \ be simply ignored. |
|____________________/_______________________________\______________________|
Michael Elias Campbell
References: <1992May6.1...@news.media.mit.edu> <1992May6.2...@acsu.buffalo.edu>
Sender:
Followup-To:
Distribution: usa
Organization: Computing Services Division, University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
Keywords: kill die destroy
As the Legion of Net.heroes charges out into battle against dr. Killfile
(in true 27-to-1 hero style) Dr. K feels he's a little outnumbered,
even though he's holding his own.
Suddenly, there's a scream of IKUZEI!!, and something goes scream-
by in a blur and a lot of speed-lines, sending Marvel-zombie-boy and
loquacious lad flying!
He comes to a stop,standing beside Dr. Killfile. He's slightly
shorter than your average hero, with a black bodysuit, and loud green
hair that mysteriously droops over one eye...
YES, IT'S MANGA-MAN!!
He turns to his new found ally. "Are we gonna trash these baka, or what?"
Karthik P Sheka
> As the Legion of Net.heroes charges out into battle against dr. Killfile
> (in true 27-to-1 hero style) Dr. K feels he's a little outnumbered,
> even though he's holding his own.
> Suddenly, there's a scream of IKUZEI!!, and something goes scream-
> by in a blur and a lot of speed-lines, sending Marvel-zombie-boy and
> loquacious lad flying!
> He comes to a stop,standing beside Dr. Killfile. He's slightly
> shorter than your average hero, with a black bodysuit, and loud green
> hair that mysteriously droops over one eye...
> YES, IT'S MANGA-MAN!!
> He turns to his new found ally. "Are we gonna trash these baka, or what?"
Kid Yesterdaze gets up a bit dazed, takes out a copy of FF245, mutters "I
hate wasting a good issue...", and throws it in MANGA-MAN's face!
Mikey likes it
Sensing the ingeniousness behind Dr. Killfile's scheme, and the ease
with which it could be done, the cursed FAN BOY tracks down Dr. Killfile
and asks if he can be accepted into the ranks of the
Brotherhood of Evil.Net.Villians.
Origin to be told at a later date (in a most Fanboyesque style) :)
Mikel B. aka Fan Boy
Ergo cogito sum
> (in true 27-to-1 hero style) Dr. K feels he's a little outnumbered,
> even though he's holding his own.
> Suddenly, there's a scream of IKUZEI!!, and something goes scream-
> by in a blur and a lot of speed-lines, sending Marvel-zombie-boy and
> loquacious lad flying!
> He comes to a stop,standing beside Dr. Killfile. He's slightly
> shorter than your average hero, with a black bodysuit, and loud green
> hair that mysteriously droops over one eye...
> YES, IT'S MANGA-MAN!!
> He turns to his new found ally. "Are we gonna trash these baka, or what?"
Meanwhile, having tapped into Net.heroes communication systems sometime ago,
Y-plex Burp, (see issue #52 of The Might Of Capt'n Quaalude) thinks
to himself, "Dr. Killfile could be useful to me."
"Average Thug, come here!"
Average Thug enters.
"Average, take this message to Dr. Killfile. Tell him I need an answer
at once. Oh, and on your way out, tell exceptional thug to
activate Operation: Dry cleaning."
"At once, sir!"
"Soon these heroes will be out of my way once and for all! MUHAHAHAHAH!"
That night, all over the world, dry cleaners were kidnaped and replaced
with robotic duplicates. Then the robots searched through all the dry
cleaning to be done, and when they found any sort of costume, they used
too much starch.
"No more mister nice I'm-gonna-destroy-planet-earth guy! Let's see those
Net.Heroes do a splash page with itchy costumes! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
bam!
>>>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
>>>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>>>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
>>>
>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>> ----
>>> / \
>>> | O O | DR. KILLFILE
>>> \ || / Villian for Hire
>>> UUUUUU
Late-Night Lad receives the general alarm. However, since
it's still daylight our here in the EST, he rolls over and goes back
to sleep...
Late Night Lad
Victoria C Fike
>
>Meanwhile, having tapped into Net.heroes communication systems sometime ago,
> Y-plex Burp, (see issue #52 of The Might Of Capt'n Quaalude) thinks
> to himself, "Dr. Killfile could be useful to me."
>"Average Thug, come here!"
> Average Thug enters.
>"Average, take this message to Dr. Killfile. Tell him I need an answer
> at once. Oh, and on your way out, tell exceptional thug to
> activate Operation: Dry cleaning."
>"At once, sir!"
>"Soon these heroes will be out of my way once and for all! MUHAHAHAHAH!"
>
>That night, all over the world, dry cleaners were kidnaped and replaced
>with robotic duplicates. Then the robots searched through all the dry
>cleaning to be done, and when they found any sort of costume, they used
>too much starch.
>
>"No more mister nice I'm-gonna-destroy-planet-earth guy! Let's see those
> Net.Heroes do a splash page with itchy costumes! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Lurking Girl, moving through the shadows in Y-plex Burp's command center
(hey, it's in a direct line between the MacLab and her dorm!), overhears
his nefarious plot. She must warn the LNH! But how? This is her second
post in a WEEK--she is straining her power to its limits already!* She
grits her teeth, intensifies her concentration, and focuses the totality of
her lurking powers to escape Y-plex's notice and warn her colleagues....
*Ed. Note: Lurking Girl's natural state is invisible and intangible,
especially when trying to get someone's attention.
Tori (Lurking Girl)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Victoria C. Fike | "All who dare to cross her course
vc...@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu | Are swallowed by a fearsome force
(define (ultimate-angst) | Through the void to be destroyed..."
(writeln "Scheme final!!!!")) | --Rush, "Cygnus X-1"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Benjamin R Pierce
>In article <1992May6.2...@uwm.edu> buz...@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Michael Elias Campbell) writes:
>
>Kid Yesterdaze gets up a bit dazed, takes out a copy of FF245, mutters "I
>hate wasting a good issue...", and throws it in MANGA-MAN's face!
Marvel-Zombie Lad immediately proceeds, in true Marvel fashoin, to radiate angst
over the tragic sacrifices a hero must make in the name of truth, justice, and
the Comics Code.
--Ben
Elisabeth Riba
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
Catalyst Lass carefully approaches Dr. Killfile with a stack of
printouts in one hand and several comics in the other. She smiles up
at him.
"Are you sure you're not interested?" she wheedles. "Maybe you
haven't found the right one. Let me recommend..."
--
--------------->Elisabeth Anne Riba * l...@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu<---------------
For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night
his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've
sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime
Cosmo Of The Cosmos
>(hey, it's in a direct line between the MacLab and her dorm!), overhears
>his nefarious plot. She must warn the LNH! But how? This is her second
>post in a WEEK--she is straining her power to its limits already!* She
>grits her teeth, intensifies her concentration, and focuses the totality of
>her lurking powers to escape Y-plex's notice and warn her colleagues....
>*Ed. Note: Lurking Girl's natural state is invisible and intangible,
> especially when trying to get someone's attention.
"WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!"
Went Y-plex Burp as Exceptional Thug pushed Y-plex's chair around the room.
"Faster, FASTER! I've got you now Net.Heroes! MUHAHAHAHA! TA-KA-TA-KA-TA-KA!
BOOM! Take that! And that and that and that! Oh, enough fun. Push me over
to my desk."
Y-Plex pushes a button on his desk.
"Secretary Thug, get me security thug."
"Right away sir."
"--swing on a star, carry moonbeams home in a jar. Or would you--"
Y-plex Burk thinks to himself, "Someday, I've gotta come up with a way
to pump elevator music into LNH HQ."
"Security Thug, here."
"Ah, security thug, have you been paying attention to the highly sensitve
detection equipment?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you seen anything, ANY-THING out of the ordinary?"
"No, sir. All's quiet down here."
"Very good, continue."
Y-Plex Burp hangs up. He leans back into his chair.
He thinks to himself, "Good. good. If we haven't detected anybody, then
lurking girl has already been here. All is going according to plan."
"Exceptional Thug!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Are all the dry cleaners replaced?"
"Yes, sir.
"And the costumes?"
"Itchy and scratchy, and ready to be shipped out."
"The capes, did you remember the capes?"
Y-plex leaps from his chair.
"THE CAPES MUST BE STIFF AS BOARDS! THEY CAN STILL DO SPLASH PAGES AS LONG
AS THEY HAVE CAPES THAT CAN FLAP IN THE WIND!!!"
"Uh... yes, sir. I rem-membered the capes."
"Good. Good. Begin shipping out the costumes. Then make sure phase two is
ready. We might have to act quickly."
"Right away, sir."
"AFTER... you have pushed me around some more."
"WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!"
Craig Thomas Judd
>
>In article <1992May6.2...@uwm.edu> buz...@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Michael Elias Campbell) writes:
>
>> (in true 27-to-1 hero style) Dr. K feels he's a little outnumbered,
>> even though he's holding his own.
>> Suddenly, there's a scream of IKUZEI!!, and something goes scream-
>> by in a blur and a lot of speed-lines, sending Marvel-zombie-boy and
>> loquacious lad flying!
>> He comes to a stop,standing beside Dr. Killfile. He's slightly
>> shorter than your average hero, with a black bodysuit, and loud green
>> hair that mysteriously droops over one eye...
>> YES, IT'S MANGA-MAN!!
>> He turns to his new found ally. "Are we gonna trash these baka, or what?"
>
>hate wasting a good issue...", and throws it in MANGA-MAN's face!
Manga Man is temporarily blinded by the overshaded figures, but his hardwired
powersuit, in a defensive move, rips the copy from his face and disintegrates
it in a few short shots. Manga man turns to face his adversaries...
"Baka. Now you've done it! I was going to let you off, but now you're for it!"
He presses a button on the laserdisc player on his armour, and suddenly the
air is filled with the entire, original soundtrack for AKIRA playing
subliminally. Completely overcome by the information overload (mostly trying to
work out the plot...), the Net.heroes cover their ears, but to no avail. Manga
Man attacks...
Yours evilly;
BoENV - Manga Man.
--
\/\ "I can see the light! I'm saved!" Kaneda, AKIRA Book 2 /\/
====\/\ "You REFUSE to drink my wine...?" Kahm, Outlanders Vol. 2 /\/====
=====\/\ *** WANT ANY MANGA ARTWORK DONE? Just email me! *** /\/=====
\/\ cj...@esk.compserv.utas.edu.au a.k.a. Kuro to Shiroi /\/
Karthik P Sheka
>>> As the Legion of Net.heroes charges out into battle against dr. Killfile
>>> (in true 27-to-1 hero style) Dr. K feels he's a little outnumbered,
>>> even though he's holding his own.
>>> Suddenly, there's a scream of IKUZEI!!, and something goes scream-
>>> by in a blur and a lot of speed-lines, sending Marvel-zombie-boy and
>>> loquacious lad flying!
>>> He comes to a stop,standing beside Dr. Killfile. He's slightly
>>> shorter than your average hero, with a black bodysuit, and loud green
>>> hair that mysteriously droops over one eye...
>>> YES, IT'S MANGA-MAN!!
>>> He turns to his new found ally. "Are we gonna trash these baka, or what?"
>>Kid Yesterdaze gets up a bit dazed, takes out a copy of FF245, mutters "I
>>hate wasting a good issue...", and throws it in MANGA-MAN's face!
>Manga Man is temporarily blinded by the overshaded figures, but his hardwired
>powersuit, in a defensive move, rips the copy from his face and disintegrates
>it in a few short shots. Manga man turns to face his adversaries...
>"Baka. Now you've done it! I was going to let you off, but now you're for it!"
>He presses a button on the laserdisc player on his armour, and suddenly the
>air is filled with the entire, original soundtrack for AKIRA playing
>subliminally. Completely overcome by the information overload (mostly trying to
>work out the plot...), the Net.heroes cover their ears, but to no avail. Manga
>Man attacks...
Kid Yesterdaze is momently entraced by the music. He then frowns, "Not
bad, but have you ever hear Sgt. Pepper's?" Not waiting for an answer, he
starts shuffling through his satchel.....
I am not a Merry man.
>>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
>(which looks like a giant computer terminal stuck upside down in the ground)
>spots the "IMMINENT VILLAIN ATTACK" warning flashing and sends out a summons to
>all LNH members, muttering to himself, "Y'know, I remember an X-Men issue which
>started off just like this..."
Enter new X-feast Member, PeacePipe, the man who can lift any peacepipe in
a single bound, and use it as a weapon, looks over Marvel-Zomie lad, and says:
"Whoa"
*******************************************************************************
"Groovy!" - Ash "Evil Dead II : Dead By Dawn" (1987)
*******************************************************************************
"Fans are interesting things. Rush fans just can't comprehend why the
rest of the world doesn't like Rush. REM fans consider the rest of the world
beneath their social level to notice. Kate Bush fans love the rest of the
world, and the world loves them, but spend long nights plotting to knife
one another." --Richard Darwin
Richard Darwin #33, "Gradenza"
*******************************************************************************
v129j6ed@ubvms
The KaTeFan(tm)
Maurice Beyke
>>
>>In article <1992May6.2...@uwm.edu> buz...@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Michael Elias Campbell) writes:
>>
>Manga Man is temporarily blinded by the overshaded figures, but his hardwired
>powersuit, in a defensive move, rips the copy from his face and disintegrates
>it in a few short shots. Manga man turns to face his adversaries...
>
>"Baka. Now you've done it! I was going to let you off, but now you're for it!"
>
>He presses a button on the laserdisc player on his armour, and suddenly the
>air is filled with the entire, original soundtrack for AKIRA playing
>subliminally. Completely overcome by the information overload (mostly trying to
>work out the plot...), the Net.heroes cover their ears, but to no avail. Manga
>Man attacks...
>
"It may be a bit flashy, and I agree the graphics are good, but it's basically
just another juvenile powertrip, without any of the deeper insights of, say,
Lone Wolf and Cub, or even Usagi Yojimbo". He thus manages to completely
block the latest nefarious attack from Manga Man, and without lowering himself
to a peurile "puncheminnaface" four color style.
Brian Perler
>>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
>>>>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>>>>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
>>>>
>>>> ----
>>>> / \
>>>> | O O | DR. KILLFILE
>>>> \ || / Villian for Hire
>>>> UUUUUU
>
> Late-Night Lad receives the general alarm. However, since
>it's still daylight our here in the EST, he rolls over and goes back
>to sleep...
>
>Late Night Lad
Obscure Trivia Lad receives the general alarm as well. However, he can't
for the life of him remember what the damn thing is for...
Dan'l DanehyOakes
>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>
>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
Not bad. . . especially the logo (deleted for this fershlugginer postnews
counter). . . any other volunteer villains out there? Now that Omega's gone
wherever Omega goes when Omega goes away (but he'll be back) and the Black
Dude in the Hat's calmed down, we need some villains. . .
You are trapped in that bright moment where you learned your doom.
Dan'l Danehy-Oakes, Net.Roach
My opinions do NOT represent Pacific Bell,
Professional Development, or anyone else.
But I'm willing to share.
Stephen Hutchison
> (in true 27-to-1 hero style) Dr. K feels he's a little outnumbered,
> even though he's holding his own.
> Suddenly, there's a scream of IKUZEI!!, and something goes scream-
> by in a blur and a lot of speed-lines, sending Marvel-zombie-boy and
> loquacious lad flying!
> He comes to a stop,standing beside Dr. Killfile. He's slightly
> shorter than your average hero, with a black bodysuit, and loud green
> hair that mysteriously droops over one eye...
> YES, IT'S MANGA-MAN!!
> He turns to his new found ally. "Are we gonna trash these baka, or what?"
Uh huh. Having stood by invisibly and watched all this stuff going on,
I have but one thing to say, especially to Dr Y-Burp or whatever he's
called.
This stuff has GOT to have its own subgroup. The waste of bandwidth
is incredible, and growing at an alarming rate. I hereby propose
rec.arts.comics.lnh, to be moderated by whoever is currently in
charge of the mission board, and its co-group rec.arts.comics.lnv,
which will of course be unmoderated. All posts to be cross-posted
between those two groups only, not rec.arts.comics.
Hutch (invisible incendiary)
Victoria C Fike
>Manga Man is temporarily blinded by the overshaded figures, but his hardwired
>powersuit, in a defensive move, rips the copy from his face and disintegrates
>it in a few short shots. Manga man turns to face his adversaries...
>
>"Baka. Now you've done it! I was going to let you off, but now you're for it!"
>
>He presses a button on the laserdisc player on his armour, and suddenly the
>air is filled with the entire, original soundtrack for AKIRA playing
>subliminally. Completely overcome by the information overload (mostly trying to
>work out the plot...), the Net.heroes cover their ears, but to no avail. Manga
>Man attacks...
Suddenly, Lurking Girl drifts through the battle--and through Manga Man. As we
all know (having seen Kitty Pryde do it about 4 gazillion times), comic science
dictates that insubstantial hero + electronic doohickey = busted doohickey.
Completely unaware that she has just foiled Manga Man's attack, Lurking Girl
focuses the totality of her lurking powers*, and turns solid long enough to
gasp to her fellow heroes "Y-plex...starch...must stop him!" before collapsing
into oblivion/Comix Limbo for another while...
*did I mention I thought of changing my name to Psylurke? >;-)
Tori (Lurking Girl)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Victoria C. Fike | "Raise your can of beer on high
vc...@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu | And seal your fate forever;
"And this is what it is to embark | Our best years have passed us by--
upon a career of unlicensed plea- | The Golden Age of Leather..."
sure!"--Sir Ruthven Murgatroyd | --Blue Oyster Cult
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Resident Hacker
>
[Dr. Killfile makes his presence known]
>
> Not bad. . . especially the logo (deleted for this fershlugginer postnews
> counter). . . any other volunteer villains out there?
Count me in. Couldn't care less for the whole bunch of tights-wearing
goombahs anyway.
P.S. I don't have time to get in one of them fun puncheminna fights.
Too busy trying to keep my job. That's why I am...
--
E n r i q u e C o n t y
The Incredible Man-With-No-Life
jes...@ihlpl.att.com
Disclaimer: You're not dealing with AT&T
Patrick Haggood
>>>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>>>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
>>>>>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>>>>>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
>>>>>
>>>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>>> ----
>>>>> / \
>>>>> | O O | DR. KILLFILE
>>>>> \ || / Villian for Hire
>>>>> UUUUUU
>>
screeeeeeeeech, CRASH!
Did he scratch the paint? Can he get the cluch handle back on? Be sure
to rush down to your local comics store and piss and moan at the
salesclerk 'til then...
--
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a net," | DoD #1966
Matthew 13:47 | 81 Honda CB400T Hawk
Chris Nasipak
Ignorance Man hears it, and immediately goes back to his book.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you really feel like | Not Croaker |Somewhere else, the
arguing with a can of | |tea is getting cold.
deoderant that registers | v116...@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu |Come on - we've got
nine on the Richter Scale?| nas...@acsu.buffalo.edu | work to do.
--- Ace | | --- Doctor Who
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I wasn't expecting the ReichsInspektor General." -- General Strasser
"No One expects the Reichsinspektor General." -- Doctor Who, TimeWyrm:Exodus
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer - If SUNY wants my opinions, they'll pay through the nose for 'em!
Pinkdex - TNG
Evil.Net.Villains, sort of. Ambiguity and obfuscation are indeed
weapons that cut both ways.
And don't forget the Electronic Village Idiot, gone but not
forgotten, and apt to pop up when least expected...
--
**(Connie Hirsch still: fu...@athena.mit.edu no longer: chi...@lotus.com)**
Oh life is a glorious cycle of song/ A medley of extemporanea
And love is a thing that can never go wrong/ And I am Marie of Roumania.
-Dorothy Parker
SCAVENGER
Rebel Yell, taking a break from filling in the caverns left under New Orleans
after the recent X-Men/Ghost Rider cross-over, recieves the signal.
He quickly catches a ride on a passing Mardi Gras float (after all, New Orleans
is always in the midst of Mardi Gras in comics<Swamp Thing excluded>) and heads
to LNH HQ
------SCAVENGER
--
If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can |kog...@ucsu.colorado.edu <-I.NET
get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson |
for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going|No matter where you go,
to make crack look like Sanka. - Dennis Miller| there you are."-Buckaroo Banzai
Jacob Lesgold
>>In article <1992May6.1...@news.media.mit.edu>, st...@media.mit.edu (Steve Librande) writes...
>>>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering Net.Heroes!!
>>>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
>>Marvel-Zombie Lad, who is on monitor duty at the Legion of Net.Heroes Clubhouse
>>(which looks like a giant computer terminal stuck upside down in the ground)
>>spots the "IMMINENT VILLAIN ATTACK" warning flashing and sends out a summons to
>>all LNH members, muttering to himself, "Y'know, I remember an X-Men issue which
>>started off just like this..."
"So what?" says Super Apathy Lad.
--
JayJay Kool-El Super Apathy Lad jles...@nwu.edu
"If you believe in the power of magic
I can change your mind
And if you need to believe in someone
Turn and look behind" -- The Alan Parsons Project
Craig Thomas Judd
>
>In article <1992May6.2...@uwm.edu> buz...@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Michael Elias Campbell) writes:
>
>Uh huh. Having stood by invisibly and watched all this stuff going on,
>I have but one thing to say, especially to Dr Y-Burp or whatever he's
>called.
>
>This stuff has GOT to have its own subgroup. The waste of bandwidth
>is incredible, and growing at an alarming rate. I hereby propose
>rec.arts.comics.lnh, to be moderated by whoever is currently in
>charge of the mission board, and its co-group rec.arts.comics.lnv,
>which will of course be unmoderated. All posts to be cross-posted
>between those two groups only, not rec.arts.comics.
>
>Hutch (invisible incendiary)
Hmm, the Manga Man (currently, quite typically, compiling all episodes into
a telephone-book-like mess) agrees. An alt. group would be easier to create,
though, since we wouldn't have to wait for RFD's and CFV's and anything else
denoted by a TLA. However, would all the Legion of Net.Heroes and the
Brotherhood of Evil.Net.Villains get this group? It doesn't matter if
the whole population doesn't get it, as I can post the compilations here
periodically. After I post this, I will post what I have put together so far,
and SUGGEST THAT, FOR CONTINUITY'S SAKE, ALL FOLLOWUPS COME FROM THE EVENTS
AS PORTRAYED WITHIN. Anything else would probably result in hundreds of
Universe splits as each storyline went its own way, and I would have to
wade through hundreds of posts to find the right ones.
Thanx.
Yours mangaiacally;
Zeus
-->>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-->>>>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
-->>>>my patented Kill-O-Ray, destroying all posts about you blithering
Net.Heroes!!
-->>>>Beware, you have all met your match!!!!
-->>>>
-->>>>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-->>>> ----
-->>>> / \
-->>>> | O O | DR. KILLFILE
-->>>> \ || / Villian for Hire
-->>>> UUUUUU
^^^^^^
With the aid of Jargon Boy, Ignore-all-bodily-functions-Boy (whose
powers inlcude ignoring all inevitable bodily alrams until done reading
the r.a.c. -- I know not much of a power...) easily spots the villan's
bad spelling. Oh boy - that's the sign of a TRUE evil-doer...
Now, I am ready to alarm the other members of LNH, but where did I leave my
kellogs decoder-ring...
Hmmmm.... Chris
Phred T. Platypus
>bam! writes
>-->>>> \ || / Villian for Hire
> With the aid of Jargon Boy, Ignore-all-bodily-functions-Boy (whose
>powers inlcude ignoring all inevitable bodily alrams until done reading
>bad spelling. Oh boy - that's the sign of a TRUE evil-doer...
Ah, hah!
>Now, I am ready to alarm the other members of LNH, but where did I leave my
>kellogs decoder-ring...
>
Spelling Boy, HELP! His powers are weakening me....uhg. Grammar Kid
slumps to the floor. Who can save him? Who would want to? Tune in
next time as Ignore-all-bodily-functions-Boy is possessed by the spirit
of the dead Typo Lad!
--
"You ask me if sex is one of the most _ \_ \ _ /_ / Phred Platypus
important things in life? Absolutely. _ \_ \ _ /_ / Grammarian of Vengeance
But the lack of it is even likelier _ \_ \_ /_ / [ vjmu...@carina.unm.edu ]
to drive you nuts." -- Harlan Ellison _ \_ / Vincent J. Murphy
Spelling Boy, LNH
>-->>>> UUUUUU
> ^^^^^^
> With the aid of Jargon Boy, Ignore-all-bodily-functions-Boy
Is there an echo in here? I already zapped Dr. Killfile into the Fandom
Zone when he identified himself as a "Villian". Are my messages not
propagating? (The insidious Dr. K has probably escaped in the meantime,
however.)
>Oh boy - that's the sign of a TRUE evil-doer...
>Now, I am ready to alarm the other members of LNH, but where did I leave my
>kellogs decoder-ring...
"Kellogg's". You are NOT sent to the Zone, because you are one of the
good guys. But pay attention. }8^)
--
Bill Sherman S^1 `--> S^(2n+1) -->> CP^n she...@math.ucla.edu
"Spock, I've had it up to here with you and your Vulcan logic!"
"Doctor McCoy, would you do me the very great honor of eating my shorts?"
-Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase, "Saturday Night Live"
Spelling Boy, LNH
>In article <37...@ucru2.ucr.edu> ze...@watserv.ucr.edu (Zeus) writes:
>> With the aid of Jargon Boy, Ignore-all-bodily-functions-Boy (whose
>>powers inlcude ignoring all inevitable bodily alrams until done reading
> ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^
>>the r.a.c. -- I know not much of a power...) easily spots the villan's
> ^^^^^^
>>bad spelling.
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Ah, hah!
Thanks, Phred; I have the situation covered.
> Spelling Boy, HELP! His powers are weakening me....uhg. Grammar Kid
>slumps to the floor. Who can save him? Who would want to? Tune in
>next time as Ignore-all-bodily-functions-Boy is possessed by the spirit
>of the dead Typo Lad!
(I, Spelling Boy, summon the ghosts of Strunk and White to recharge Grammar
Kid's body. GK gets up, groggy but alive)
Relax, he seems to be on our side.
(Assumes heroic stance) I pray to the ghost of Samuel Johnson
that the evil Typo Lad (my nemesis) has not escaped from the Fandom Zone,
where I put him five years ago. I remember it as if it were yesterday;
I spotted him in the video store, changing all the "101 Dalmatians"
cassettes to read "101 Dalmations". He's an evildoer from my homeworld
(Webster's Planet), and was exiled by King Azaz the Unabridged when he
was caught putting apostrophes in the "its" plasm.
Kurt Bose Speakers
>In article <1992May7.0...@cam.compserv.utas.edu.au> cjudd@esk (Craig Thomas Judd) writes:
>
>>Manga Man is temporarily blinded by the overshaded figures, but his hardwired
>>powersuit, in a defensive move, rips the copy from his face and disintegrates
>>it in a few short shots. Manga man turns to face his adversaries...
>>
>>"Baka. Now you've done it! I was going to let you off, but now you're for it!"
>>
>>He presses a button on the laserdisc player on his armour, and suddenly the
>>air is filled with the entire, original soundtrack for AKIRA playing
>>subliminally. Completely overcome by the information overload (mostly trying to
>>work out the plot...), the Net.heroes cover their ears, but to no avail. Manga
>>Man attacks...
>
>Suddenly, Lurking Girl drifts through the battle--and through Manga Man. As we
>all know (having seen Kitty Pryde do it about 4 gazillion times), comic science
>dictates that insubstantial hero + electronic doohickey = busted doohickey.
>
>Completely unaware that she has just foiled Manga Man's attack, Lurking Girl
>focuses the totality of her lurking powers*, and turns solid long enough to
>gasp to her fellow heroes "Y-plex...starch...must stop him!" before collapsing
>into oblivion/Comix Limbo for another while...
>
on the scene. Out of view of the assembled might of the Legion, a smile played
across his face as he surveyed the scene. Had anyone not been focused upon the
lurking girl, Psylurke, they might have caught the faint glint of steel as the
stranger shifted his weight, uttering only the word, "Perfect." He had waited
long for this moment, his age-old nemesis flushed with victory. That fool's
pathetic Legion would play right into his hands with an attack on the fiendish
Y-Plex. Not that they knew it, of course. How could they, when not even his
own pawns could possibly fathom their role in the upcoming war?? The strange
shadow flickered into nothingness, content with the damage he had fostered
upon his unsuspecting enemy.
--
Kurt Bose "Speakers" - kb...@carina.unm.edu - The Grand Platypus - Chair, COPROTH
Unofficial Biographer of Imaginary Players for R.S.BB - Junior Stathead {tm}
"Soon to be a major motion picture" - This space to let - Joel in '92!
COPROTH - COmmittee to Put ROssing in The Hall - Join Now!!! - $4.99 per minute.
Dan'l DanehyOakes
>In article <1992May7.1...@intelhf.hf.intel.com>, hutch@hutch (Stephen Hutchison) writes:
>>This stuff has GOT to have its own subgroup.
>Hmm, the Manga Man (currently, quite typically, compiling all episodes into
>a telephone-book-like mess) agrees. An alt. group would be easier to create,
>though
California Kid (who, it may be recalled, was the schmendrik who proposed the
LNH in the first place, little realizing the incredible waste of bandwidth it
would lead to) agrees in principle with the idea of a separate newsgroup and
demurs frantically on the idea of an alt group, on the simple grounds that he
don't get no alt groups at this account. I mean, the Founder has _some_
right to participate, even if it _is_ three weeks late, no?
Or maybe we can all just calm down. I wasn't proposing a roleplay game when
I started this, just a bunch of silly pseudonyms. . .
California Kid
(a/k/a Dan-El of the planet Frisko)
I am not a Merry man.
I think we should move this to another group, but we do not have anywhere
else to put it for now.
Y-Plex Burp
The LNH raced toward the base of the evil Y-plex Burp and the ERD (tm)
of Marvel Zombie Lad led the way.
Y-Plex Burp watched via his universal widget.
"Exceptional, How close are they?"
"They'll be here in a matter of minutes."
"Have we gotten enough people together?"
"No, sir."
Y-Plex got up from his chair and started to walk around the room.
"Has Dr. Killfile got IT installed yet?"
"We project he'll take another 2 hours?"
"And how long until we've reached everybody and have our forces deployed?"
"We'll be ready by morning."
"It's going to be close, ya know?"
"It's for the best, sir. We can't let it go on any longer."
"Is it? If we fail..."
"Sir, I'm a thug. The people who work for you are thugs. But... since
we started working for you, we're more than just thugs. We've..."
"No need to say anymore. But time is running out, we're gonna have to
speed up the time table. See to it that all the people we kidnaped are
taken to the final dramatic sceen. Oh, Almost forgot."
Y-Plex reaches over and presses a button on his desk. The wall behind
Y-plex opens up and Marvel Zombie Lad can be seen in a room.
"Your friends will be here soon. And while your waiting, here's a comic
to read."
Y-Plex pulls a comic book out of one of his desk doors and pushes it through
a slot in the glass wall.
"It's one of a kind. Issue #54 of The Might Of Capt'n Quaalude. Give it a
read. Might find it interesting."
Y-plex presses the button again and the wall closes.
Side note. Is there another group I should be posting to? If so, what's it
called?
Michael Elias Campbell
>In article <1992May6.2...@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu>, k...@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Karthik P Sheka) writes...
>>hate wasting a good issue...", and throws it in MANGA-MAN's face!
>
>
>over the tragic sacrifices a hero must make in the name of truth, justice, and
>the Comics Code.
>
>before the offending piece of drivel can strike him (and more importantly
mess up his new costume) There is a blur of hands, and the offending comic
has fallen to the ground, its staples removed!
Turning to marvel-zombie lad, MANGA-MAN pulls out a years worth of Shonen
Jump and shouts "Hey wimp, try some REAL comics!!" as he tosses the pile
to him!!
> --Ben
Marvel-zombie lad crumples under the wieght, mumbling something to the
tune of "Why are all the covers on backwards??"
Michael Elias Campbell
>In article <1992May7.0...@cam.compserv.utas.edu.au> cjudd@esk (Craig Thomas Judd) writes:
>>In article <1992May6.2...@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu>, k...@cunixb.cc.columbia.edu (Karthik P Sheka) writes:
>>>
>>>In article <1992May6.2...@uwm.edu> buz...@csd4.csd.uwm.edu (Michael Elias Campbell) writes:
>>>
>>Manga Man is temporarily blinded by the overshaded figures, but his hardwired
>>
>>
>>He presses a button on the laserdisc player on his armour, and suddenly the
>>air is filled with the entire, original soundtrack for AKIRA playing
>>subliminally. Completely overcome by the information overload (mostly trying to
>>work out the plot...), the Net.heroes cover their ears, but to no avail. Manga
>>Man attacks...
>>
> "Now just wait a minute", says Comics-Snob-Boy, "this is nothing impressive.
> "It may be a bit flashy, and I agree the graphics are good, but it's basically
> just another juvenile powertrip, without any of the deeper insights of, say,
> Lone Wolf and Cub, or even Usagi Yojimbo". He thus manages to completely
> block the latest nefarious attack from Manga Man, and without lowering himself
> to a peurile "puncheminnaface" four color style.
"Deeper insights, HAH!" Sneers MANGA-MAN. "I bet you read Playboy for the
interviews, too!"
Comics-Snob-boy hems and haws for a bit. MM definately has him there.
"I was going to let you off easy, as you obviously are constipated (i.e.
full of sh*t) but you have insulted my honor, prepare to die!!
A-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-
AHH-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA,
YAAAHTAH!!
The air around Comics-snob-boy is filled with hands, and it is only a matter
of seconds before the CSB's body explodes, sending body parts in numerous
directions!!
Manga-man bows deeply to the other combatants on both sides, as they
whistle and cheer!!!
David M. Pahnos
worse), with the creations of Suicide Squid and the Legion of Net Heroes
as the prime examples, I think that a sub-group should be added to the
overall net discussion for such things. This would also be a place for
people to post stories that they would like the general net.populace to
read involving their own characters or popular characters the way *they*
would like to write them. Keeping this group a part of the R.A.C.
heirarchy is essential, as the often parody mistakes in posts, or follow
the trend of discussions about current books (like the New Mutants
stories seen here). It is obvious that these things will not go away.
now for a name:
net/user/rac/parody/rac
books/created/stories/fiction
would someone like to add this to the news.groups discussions?
michael j pastor iii
guest who lad
guest on david's account
David M. Pahnos
we have a moratorium (correct word?) on posts on the subject on RAC for
the time being. I have posted an idea for making net.parodies or
some-such for ourselves and the general public at a later date. BUT I
would still like to see the future stories of the net.heroes. SO would
anyone liketo voulnteer as the NET.EDITOR (i.e. official continuity
chief-of-police) for these stories, collect emailed posts and splice
together the actions of the characters to a common story?
I would, but I cannot join the net.heroes as I do not have a power that
is totally uniquely my own (i must use other people's accounts/powers as
a basis of my own). Know that however I am a powerful ally, and a
wonderful objective observer/critic (developed over years of practive
involving my powers). I think we need to narrow down the membership and
get rid of the duplicate heroes/heroines by allowing the later joiners
to join the legion of substitute.net.heroes and the .auxilary. Sorry,
but we do have a rule about duplication of powers, and the exceptions
only apply to time displaced legendary demi-gogues.
Perhaps the originator of this thread should be net.editor? Anyone
volunteering? This would allow for smoother story telling also.
When are the first Legion elections for leader and deputy leader?
guest who lad
michael j pastor iii
guest on david's account
Benjamin R Pierce
>"Deeper insights, HAH!" Sneers MANGA-MAN. "I bet you read Playboy for the
>interviews, too!"
>Comics-Snob-boy hems and haws for a bit. MM definately has him there.
>"I was going to let you off easy, as you obviously are constipated (i.e.
>full of sh*t) but you have insulted my honor, prepare to die!!
>
>A-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-
>AHH-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA,
>YAAAHTAH!!
> The air around Comics-snob-boy is filled with hands, and it is only a matter
>
>of seconds before the CSB's body explodes, sending body parts in numerous
>directions!!
> Manga-man bows deeply to the other combatants on both sides, as they
>whistle and cheer!!!
Suddenly, the Continuity Police burst onto the scene, led by the Censor,
Keeper of the Comics Code! The C-Police wrestle Manga Man to the ground
quickly, holding off the rest of the combatants with huge weapons and threats
of having their comics cancelled. The Censor stands over the immobilized
Manga Man and begins to speak:
"Well, this time you've gone too far! We at Continuity Cenntral agreed to
allow you into this comic as part of the new foreign-exchange program we've
been implementing, but this is still a comics-code approved book! And right
here on page 477 of the Comics Code, (producing said document out of thin air
as he speaks), it plainly states that "...no character in a comics-code
approved comic shall cause, or through inaction allow, gruesome dismemberment
of an opponent. Nor shall blood, intestines, severed limbs, or other icky
stuff be allowed to appear in aforementioned comic in any form." I'm sorry,
but I'm afraid we're going to have to hold you pending a hearing on your
conduct." He motions, and the Continuity Police begin to drag the protesting
Mannga Man away...
Charles L Isbell
quote.the.whole.article.and.add.only.one.line.of.comment.lad, who will
make a reply in such a way that no one will be able to figure out
what's going on.
(At least it isn't the evil incite.to.riot.boy, foe of FANBOY person,
who enjoys shouting "MARVEL SUCKS" whenever he can.)
(Of course, no one realizes that this is actually rambling.lad in
disguise! <-- the last comment was brought to you by reveal.spoilers.man)
--
Peace.
"Okay, okay... let's see. Perfect woman. Nice face,
great tits, great ass, good personality. In that order."
"Why that order?"
"It takes friends longer to notice a bad personality."
- Kyle Baker, _Why I Hate Saturn_
-\--/-
Don't just adopt opinions | \/ | Yes, it is I,
develop them. | /\ | The Homeboy from hell
-/--\-
Spelling Boy, LNH
>SO would
>anyone liketo voulnteer as the NET.EDITOR (i.e. official continuity
>chief-of-police) for these stories, collect emailed posts and splice
>together the actions of the characters to a common story?
I seem to recall that Captain Clean-up (or someone else) was doing just
that. But the summary post omitted my battle against Dr. Killfile... }8^(
>Sorry,
>but we do have a rule about duplication of powers, and the exceptions
>only apply to time displaced legendary demi-gogues.
That's "demagogues" to you, pal! }8^)
>Perhaps the originator of this thread should be net.editor?
As far as I know, I inadvertently started this when I called myself
"Spelling Boy of the LSH" in one post, maybe on 4/29 or so; then somebody
else ran with the concept. I know that somebody saved the posts; does
this match up with the records? In any case, I don't want to be the LNH
editor. It was just a joke! What have I done? (I hope I'm not treading on
Marvel Zombie Lad's territory by angsting...)
>When are the first Legion elections for leader and deputy leader?
Okay, let's bust out the Virtual Planetary Chance Machine! Maybe not.
--
Bill Sherman S^1 `--> S^(2n+1) -->> CP^n she...@math.ucla.edu
"Winky Dinky Dog! Say it with me now: Winky ... Dinky ... Dog ... "
-George Witherspoon, in "The Hollywood Shuffle"
James Henderson
Then Defender of the Fanboy (one of a minuscular erudite verbosity) steps in
and states that if alt.sex.stories is allowed, why not r.a.c.LNH?
Deus Imperator
>In article <1992May6.1...@news.media.mit.edu> st...@media.mit.edu (Steve Librande) writes:
>
>>I, the ingenious Dr. Killfile, will soon release the awesome force of
>>
>
>wherever Omega goes when Omega goes away (but he'll be back) and the Black
>Dude in the Hat's calmed down, we need some villains. . .
>
A darkened attic, the only light coming from the greyish glow of a MAC terminal
A lone figure sits, slowly stroking his chin. "A villian? A VILLIAN?!? So
they want a VILLIAN, eh?"
A barely audible call resounds from below...
"Help-me-I'm-a-newbie-poster Child, will you keep it down? I just
saved the universe, and boy do I have a headache!"
'poster Child's sister, Lurking Girl, went back to her plaintive
snorings.
"So much for her," he grunted. "SHE has the mutant power to post and
be notice, while I, _I_, the GIFTED one in the family, am ignored everytime
I seek assistance in trying to use the NET. My calls for help are snubbed by
those who THINK they know better. All they tell me is read the FAQ. What the
*&%%&*& is a FAQ? What the *&%%&*& does *&%%&*& mean? I will no longer be
ignored!"
"So be it. From this day hence, I'll be Just-A-Test Man, Villian of
a thousand different names. I will consume critical bandwith, all the while
slugging those "heroes" who spurned me by shouting, "OOH! Sorry for
interrupting your meaningful conversations and taking up unnecessary bandwith.
It's just a test..." and I'll prattle on forever, whining how this is my
first time on the net, and how great it would be to talk about my FAVORITE
heroes, all the while, destroying the precious bandwith which is the meat
and potatoes of netters everywhere."
A sudden flash of darkness, and Help-me-I'm-a-newbie-poster Child is
reborn. His form scintillates, never ceasing on a single shape, but mostly
seeming to be college freshmen, with looks of wonder trapped behind their
eyes. "no one would want to fwame wittle ol' me..." he told the mirror.
"Now to join the Brotherhood..."
He picked up the phone, forgot the damn modem was still connected,
screamed in anger, wishing his sister would teach him how to do this correctly.
"No matter now, shee will be the first to fall..."
He dialed the number. A nasal voice responded, "Hello, you've reached
the secret number of the Brotherhood.Of.Net.Villains, 1-800-BAD-GUYS. How
may I help you?"
"Yes, I seek to joing your organization, and defeat those Net.Snobs!"
"What is your name?"
"Just-A-Test Man, ma'am."
"Sorry, I'm not familiar with that one..."
"well, up until my epic rebirth a few panels ago, I was Help-me-I'm-
a-newbie-poster child."
"Oh really." Silence on the other end. "Could you please hold?"
"Of course." The savage glint of havok caught in his eye. "Soon,
soon..."
A click resounded from the telephone, soon replaced by a dial tone.
"Hello? Hello? Hm. Musta hung up accidentally. Oh, well. I'll just
call again, and THEN those net heroes will be sorry..."
--
Thanatos, DeathUrge, Master of a Bunch of Stuff tgt3...@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu
"Why would you think a priest any more moral than the rest of us? Heavens
sake's child, why do you think they're called 'Father?'"
-The Company of Wolves
Michael Elias Campbell
>
> Suddenly, the Continuity Police burst onto the scene, led by the Censor,
>Keeper of the Comics Code! The C-Police wrestle Manga Man to the ground
>quickly, holding off the rest of the combatants with huge weapons and threats
>of having their comics cancelled. The Censor stands over the immobilized
>Manga Man and begins to speak:
> "Well, this time you've gone too far! We at Continuity Cenntral agreed to
>allow you into this comic as part of the new foreign-exchange program we've
>been implementing, but this is still a comics-code approved book! And right
>here on page 477 of the Comics Code, (producing said document out of thin air
>as he speaks), it plainly states that "...no character in a comics-code
>approved comic shall cause, or through inaction allow, gruesome dismemberment
>of an opponent. Nor shall blood, intestines, severed limbs, or other icky
>stuff be allowed to appear in aforementioned comic in any form." I'm sorry,
>but I'm afraid we're going to have to hold you pending a hearing on your
>conduct." He motions, and the Continuity Police begin to drag the protesting
>Mannga Man away...
As the continuity cuffs are slapped on him, MANGA-MAN howls with laughter:
"I do you preening baka a favor, and what do you do? You whine and com-
plain, sighting aincent rules that were a typical American knee-jerk
reaction!! Just you wait!! I'll get free from these whiney regulations
and will come for every one of you!! Do you hear? Every one!!" His voice
trails off into the distance as the van hauls him off to limbo.
"Well," says Loquacious Lad, "that's the end of him."
"I'm not so sure." Says Catalyst Girl, scooping up the remains of Comics-
Snob Boy, to take and toss into the Super High-tech character revival
whachamajiggie back at headquarters.....
August Paul Yang
>>over the tragic sacrifices a hero must make in the name of truth, justice, and
>>the Comics Code.
>>
>>before the offending piece of drivel can strike him (and more importantly
>mess up his new costume) There is a blur of hands, and the offending comic
>has fallen to the ground, its staples removed!
>
>Turning to marvel-zombie lad, MANGA-MAN pulls out a years worth of Shonen
>Jump and shouts "Hey wimp, try some REAL comics!!" as he tosses the pile
>to him!!
>
>tune of "Why are all the covers on backwards??"
The Occultism Kid senses something wrong in the Universe of the Net.
Suddenly, he notices the Marvel Zombie Lad is in two places as once!
This cannot be! The fate of the net now rests on explaining this apparent
burp in the continuity before the Continuity Police show up. (love Bucky
O'Hare though)
Occultism Kid begins to chant.
He tries "The Rings of Retconn" but they are missing for some reason.
He tries "The Divergent Disks of Timelines" but they too fail.
He tries "The Meeting of Future Selves" but they fizzle due to overuse in
the Net.
Finally, the Occultism Kid see he has no choice.
He begins the preparations to summon the one being who can correct this
abberation.
He begins the ritual to summon...
... The Editor.
*****************************************************************************
Victor Strange: "You should have cut my head off, doused it in holy water,
and filled my mouth with garlic!"
Steven Strange: "Considering the kind of breath vampires have I could have
skipped the garlic."
-Doctor Strange
*****************************************************************************
A wntr...@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu production. All worhsips, prasies, and money
gifts should be sent to the above address. Flames should be sent elsewhere.
*****************************************************************************
August Paul Yang
>Keeper of the Comics Code! The C-Police wrestle Manga Man to the ground
>quickly, holding off the rest of the combatants with huge weapons and threats
>of having their comics cancelled. The Censor stands over the immobilized
>Manga Man and begins to speak:
> "Well, this time you've gone too far! We at Continuity Cenntral agreed to
>allow you into this comic as part of the new foreign-exchange program we've
>been implementing, but this is still a comics-code approved book! And right
>here on page 477 of the Comics Code, (producing said document out of thin air
>as he speaks), it plainly states that "...no character in a comics-code
>approved comic shall cause, or through inaction allow, gruesome dismemberment
>of an opponent. Nor shall blood, intestines, severed limbs, or other icky
>stuff be allowed to appear in aforementioned comic in any form." I'm sorry,
>but I'm afraid we're going to have to hold you pending a hearing on your
>conduct." He motions, and the Continuity Police begin to drag the protesting
>Mannga Man away...
No! Far away in his Power of Tower (or is that Tower of Power, never could
get that straight), Occultism Kid convulses. He senses that Magna Man has
been captured when MM was captured mere posts before! The continuity
is unraveling and part of the blame rests on too many posts. He pleads with
the powers that be to split this part of rec.arts.comics off so that
this universe may be preserved. Fractically, he continues his search for...
...the Editor.
Jeffrey Klein
>No! Far away in his Power of Tower (or is that Tower of Power, never could
>get that straight), Occultism Kid convulses. He senses that Magna Man has
>been captured when MM was captured mere posts before! The continuity
>is unraveling and part of the blame rests on too many posts. He pleads with
>the powers that be to split this part of rec.arts.comics off so that
>this universe may be preserved. Fractically, he continues his search for...
>
>...the Editor.
Browsing Boy, currently looking over "Run, Riddler, Run" and saying,
"what da heck..", senses OK's call for assistance! "No!" he shouts!
"Not...TOMM, THE.FALCON!!!"
Meanwhile, his arch-nemesis, Comic Store Guy, says, "Hey, are you gonna
buy that? This isn't a library."
--
Jeff Klein | "I *love* Jell-O! I love the way Jell-0 wiggles in
Browsing Boy of the LNH| my hands! I *LOVE* the taste of *JELL-O*!!!!!"
kl...@kira.egr.msu.edu | -W. Axl Rose
August Paul Yang
>Browsing Boy, currently looking over "Run, Riddler, Run" and saying,
>"what da heck..", senses OK's call for assistance! "No!" he shouts!
>"Not...TOMM, THE.FALCON!!!"
>
>Meanwhile, his arch-nemesis, Comic Store Guy, says, "Hey, are you gonna
>buy that? This isn't a library."
Browsing Boy's distress Occultism Kid creates a sending to aid Browsing Boy.
The sending, calling upon the powers of Dr. Strange, fires a "Bolt of
Bedevilment" at Comic Store Guy. "Fear not," whispers the sending "For
the Editor is beyond That Which Is Marvel and That Which Is DC. He must
reside in the net and oversee the progession of threads. He is not the
feared Tomm, The.Falcon. He resides in the humble trappings of a poster.
However, my mystic senses tell me that there are two potiental Editors in
our midst. One who goes by the name of Magna Man has already claimed a
portion of the power of the Editor but another known as Guest Who Lad
has also shown potiential as the Editor."
The sending realizing it has rambled on disappears. However, the sending
did not recieve the power of Dr. Strange it called but the power of Zummi
Gummi. The sending had mispronounced the spell and the "Bolt of Bedevilment"
became the "Bolt of Becoming-A-Devil". Borwsing Boy is left alone in
The Comic Book Shop with Comic Shop Guy, who has now turned into an eight-
foot devil and is still insisting, "ARE YOU GOING TO BUY SOMETHING OR WHAT?"
Craig Thomas Judd
Yo, 'guest' what? Yours Truly, Manga Man, is already attempting the Great Task
of compiling all into a (fairly) sensible story, which should turn into
something the size of a Shonen Sunday. Every so often I post chapters, and I
urge everyone to follow the storyline and not go off on old threads (the first
fight scene is still going, in some places!). As for the LNH; pah! You are all
Americana baka!
Yours villainously;
Manga Man
Maurice Beyke
>"Deeper insights, HAH!" Sneers MANGA-MAN. "I bet you read Playboy for the
>interviews, too!"
>Comics-Snob-boy hems and haws for a bit. MM definately has him there.
>"I was going to let you off easy, as you obviously are constipated (i.e.
>full of sh*t) but you have insulted my honor, prepare to die!!
>
>A-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-
>AHH-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA-TAA,
>YAAAHTAH!!
> The air around Comics-snob-boy is filled with hands, and it is only a matter
>
>of seconds before the CSB's body explodes, sending body parts in numerous
>directions!!
> Manga-man bows deeply to the other combatants on both sides, as they
>whistle and cheer!!!
Just before he expires, Comics-Snob-Boy ponders "Gee, I always thought my
major ability was to ignore juvenile displays of four-color violence. I
wander what we...."
The thought is never finished.
PS. YAY!! I'm the first casualty!!!
_____________________________________________________________________________
| __ / aka Maurice Beyke \ Disclaimer: Any opinions |
| / _) __ * __ / m...@batman.b11.ingr.com \ expressed are totally |
| /-( / ) /--\ / ( / bey...@infonode.ingr.com \ ludicrous, & should |
|/___)(__/ / / __)/ Surrealistic Ontologist \ be simply ignored. |
|____________________/_______________________________\______________________|