**DEATH OF ELVIS MAN** (Marshall LaRocque: The Hateful Dread)
JOHN LAROCQUE
DEATH OF ELVIS MAN
Non poly-bagged, non-hologram ultra violent nightmare.
EXTERIOR: Cold dark alley in the middle of the night
Shiverring in the alley, the forgotton figure of a
pathetic soul, the so-called Elvis man. He is drinking a
bottle of Jack Daniels, and he has just killed another
bum for his money.
ELVIS MAN: [to himself] "I am a pathetic loser. I used to be
something bigger than this. Look at me. How did this happen?".
-----------------
EXTERIOR: Large hero-hunter ship landing in a cold dark alley
Stepping outside the ship, a man dressed in leather
boots, leather jacket, leather pants and decked with
barbed wire, chains and spikes.
MARSHALL LAROCQUE: Games over creep. You're criminal days are over,
Elvis man.
ELVIS MAN: [recovering his vigor pretty fast] Not so fast, fascist
evil McFarlane lover. *You're* bullying days are over.
Elvis man leaps up from the corner in the alley and
attempts a sucker punch at the Marshall. Marshall blocks
the punch and returns the blow in the chest, breaking one
of Elvis man's ribs.
ELVIS MAN: [spitting blood] ... starpo pig... oh that hurt. mommy!
Marshall LaRocque continues his assault on Elvis, landing
blow for blow. Elvis, in a typical manoeuvre, kicks
Marshall in the groin, but the effect is muted. Marshall
wore steel underwear that evening. Marshall law kicks
Elvis in the chest, sending him towards the brick wall,
his brass knuckles continuing their brutal surgery
against the evil villain. Bruised and beaten, Elvis
whimpers.
ELVIS MAN: ... ok... I surrender... I was wrong to attack the great
God McFarlane... Spawn is *better* than Next Men. I admit my great
faults....
MARSHALL LAROCQUE: [impatient] Louder. I want this recorded for the
record, to be used against you, you villainous scum.
ELVIS MAN: ... Long live Image.... oh God do I have to repeat this?
MARSHALL LAROCQUE: The pain is just beginning, fiend.
Elvis Man - seeming to be defeated, reaches for his
pocket for his trusy Byrne-blaster. Seeing this manoevre,
Marshall pulls out his Sim laser-blaster, seering Elvis'
arm in half. Kicking the useless arm aside, he drags the
bruised and beaten body of Elvis Man and chains his neck
to the Hero-Hunter.
MARSHALL LAROCQUE: This is the last time. You will never insult me
or my friends in public again.
-----------------
EXTERIOR: Hero-hunter rises, with Elvis Man in tow
INTERIOR: Hero-hunter
Marshall LaRocque, listening happily to some Megadeth, puts
the ship into remote for the local garbage disposal, and
laughs at the latest issue of Spawn. He pulls out his
trash bin a copy of the Next Men. Ripped and torn, with
the pathetic coupon offer still atttached, Marshall
LaRocque laughs...
MARSHALL LAROCQUE: The Next Men are the Ex Men. You're history.
Your friends are history.
The Marshall throws the magazine out the window. The
Hero Hunter is now safely over the local dump.
ELVIS MAN: Let me go... please... I'll never insult you again. I'll
kiss your boot. Oh please... oh please.
MARSHALL LAROCQUE: Too late. Say bedtime for Bonzo.
Turning on his chainsaw, he cuts through the chain that's
dragging Elvis man in mid air. Elvis, now free, falls
several hundred feet into the decrepid dump. He screams
... and then there is silence. Around Elvis Man's corpse
are the bodies of the Ex-Men, apparently killed by the
mysterious and unstoppable Spawn, defender of the
homeless and enemy of comic villains like Elvis Man.
MARSHALL LAROCQUE: [munching on a twinkie] That felt good. I can't
wait for tomorrow's so-called heroes to show up.
-----------
EXTERIOR: Hero-hunter flys off into the dawn.
Nuff Said - Excelsior!
END OF NIGHTMARE. NO STARTLING RESURRECTION. NO SECOND PRINTING.
--
John LaRocque ** "If you're the new messiah.. I'm going to be
marsha...@uwo.ca ** the one to drive in the nails" MARSHALL LAW
Lady Johanna Constantine
A bloodied yet triumphant Marshall LaRocque emerges
and passes a darkhaired woman, cigarette in hand, crossing the street.
She smiles at him, and he looks at her quizically, and then is struck
by a speeding semi he failed to notice.
Stepping away from the squished mass that had been his corporal form,
he find Death of the Endless there beside him.
"What happened?" He muttered, watching the dark ahired woman in the
trenchcoat continue down the street, oblivious to his demise.
"Oh, you smiled at a Constantine. Bad move." Death chirped,
and Marshall LaRocque disappread into the sunless lands, never to be seen
again.
--
Lady Johanna Constantine* "... on her loom she weaves my shroud,
ta...@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu * and I am lost."
Also a member of SEFEB *
LJC of the NTB * -from "Tapestry of Despair" by Aisling
This message is protected by Federal Law.
> DEATH OF ELVIS MAN
> Turning on his chainsaw, he cuts through the chain that's
> dragging Elvis man in mid air. Elvis, now free, falls
> several hundred feet into the decrepid dump. He screams
> ... and then there is silence. Around Elvis Man's corpse
> are the bodies of the Ex-Men, apparently killed by the
> mysterious and unstoppable Spawn, defender of the
> homeless and enemy of comic villains like Elvis Man.
Epilogue, the cops find the body of an Elvis Impersonator. With them is
Elvis Man, and a bunch of young female followers.
Elvis Man: " I'll find the murderer of one of those of the Way!!!!
Meanwhile, I have to go back to LNHHQ and prepare for the Acts of Violence!!"
(Shameless plug)
*******************************************************************************
"Or watch Richard Gere follow the Dalai Llama across the world, and then do
those oh-so Zen-Like movies with those oh-so Zen-Like messages like 'Hey, it's
fun to be a prostitute!'" - 'Folk Song' - Bongwater
*******************************************************************************
Jef Kolodziej Cliche Dude The KaTeFan(tm)
v129...@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu State University of New York at Buffalo
History Major #(716) 834-2606 611 LaSalle Ave. Buffalo, NY 14215
JOHN LAROCQUE
> Stepping away from the squished mass that had been his corporal form,
>he find Death of the Endless there beside him.
> "What happened?" He muttered, watching the dark ahired woman in the
>trenchcoat continue down the street, oblivious to his demise.
> "Oh, you smiled at a Constantine. Bad move." Death chirped,
>and Marshall LaRocque disappread into the sunless lands, never to be seen
>again.
Around the corner, Marshall LaRocque turns off his Image-ing machine.
"Ha .... I fooled Death and Constantine with a hologram. Wait till they
meet my good friends Swoon and Snuff. Besides - I'm atheist."
The weary hero/villain-hunter exits into his speedy LawBreaker, cruising
at double the speed limit into the early dark hours of the morning. A
motorcycle rider with a flaming head encounters the restless hero hunter.
"The blood of the innocent....". Marshall LaRocque turns on the spikes on his
wheels and rams the motorcylcle until all that is left is shreds of a
leather jacket and piles of skeletal remains. He utters the words
"Vengeance is Mine - there is only one spirit of vengeance around here.
And it ain't you".
The Scourge of the supervillains continues....
>Lady Johanna Constantine* "... on her loom she weaves my shroud,
>ta...@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu * and I am lost."
>Also a member of SEFEB *
>LJC of the NTB * -from "Tapestry of Despair" by Aisling
"I'll be back..." - Arnie in Terminator/Commando/Predator/Last Action Hero
NUFF DEAD!
k
Martin Phipps
LAROCQUE) writes:
>He utters the words
> "Vengeance is Mine - there is only one spirit of vengeance around here.
(That's what you think --MFP)
From out of nowhere, a dark figure appears. He raises a BIG gun.
SHRACK! Marshall LaRocque is vaporized!
"Net.Justice is served."
The mysterious assasin disappears.
Martin Phipps
aka Deja Dude
PS: You're right wReam, this *is* fun!
Dave Van Domelen
>"Ha .... I fooled Death and Constantine with a hologram. Wait till they
>meet my good friends Swoon and Snuff. Besides - I'm atheist."
And around the opposite corner? There a brooding, one-handed figure
shrugged off his concealing trenchcoat and stuffed it in a garbage bin before
he attracted any mystic oddities. He smiled from the shadows, only his smile
visible against his silhouetted form. He held up the stump of his missing
hand, and watched as it slowly reformed, healing as if never damaged. He
straightened from his broken-backed slouch, and his half-cape caught a slight
breeze.
The abuse of plot devices to defy death itself was like nectar to him,
healing him and restoring his lost power and vigour. He stepped into the
light....
"Thank you very much, Marshall. Thank you indeed!" Acton Lord tossed
back his head and laughed as he faded out in a teleport beam.
HAHAHAHAhahahahaha......
Dave Van Domelen, knew it was an omen when his Marshall Law poster fell
off the wall this morning::::
JOHN LAROCQUE
>>He utters the words
>> "Vengeance is Mine - there is only one spirit of vengeance around here.
>From out of nowhere, a dark figure appears. He raises a BIG gun.
>SHRACK! Marshall LaRocque is vaporized!
>"Net.Justice is served."
For three days and three nights, Marshall he sits in limbo, and sees the
souls of all innocents killed by so called heroes. "I must return. I believe
now in the afterlife and real justice." A bright light appears and a loud voice
was heard on high "this is my Son in whom I am well pleased".
The corpse of the Marshall was lifted into the air, his flesh and bone
reconstituted, even stronger than before. The meta-mystical links between
him and his leather armor become inseparable, and nothing can penetrate it.
"My son - you never knew your mission in life. Go now and hunt down to the
last every so called hero. Bring vengeance unto me. For forty days and
forty nights I want all their souls brought unto me".
MEANWHILE - in the Louisiana bayou, a mutated green sludge squeezes the
life out of a litterbug. He is the Glop-Thing, once a hero and now a
servant of 666 The Beast DeCeased, Elemental creature and now
slayer of innocents and environmental "offenders". Ripping down the road
in a highly unenvironmental reconstituted vehicle - Marshall LaRocque's
LawBreaker screeches to a halt.
"Game's up, Glop Thing. They never *did* let you see the savior. Now's the
chance to try it a second time. EAT THIS JEANETTE KHAN!". Out from the
LawBreaker he pulls out a giant rocket laucher full of acidic bleach and
toxic waste is launched into the former hero and now slave to the Beast.
He is blown up into a thousand green smithereens, his molecules
forever separated. The Glop Thing is dead forever.
Marshall LaRocque scoops some of the waste and says "The blood of my enemy
shall be my strength". He thanks his father for giving him life to slay
more so-called heroes, and consumes the body and blood of Glop Thing..
He mutters - "Deja Dude - who is he? He is next. And the evil twin brother
of the original Elvis Man - wanted for pederasty in seven states".
Next Issue - Showdown at Graceland!
Going about his father's business - marhsall larocque
Josh Geurink
Is it just me, or is this thread beginning to remind you of something? :)
Joshua Henry Geurink, CVE | "...Lockjaw doesn't like children who tell lies.
Certified Vampire Expert | Late at night he stalks the houses of the fibbers
Occultism Kid of the LNH | and the falsefiers, and before they can cry out
geu...@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu | from their beds, he nails their jaws open with a
"It's Lobdell-errific!" | rusty nail, using his HEAD as a hammer..."
JOHN LAROCQUE
>Would you all mind terribly if you would prefix this stuff with "LNH:" or
>"NTB:"? Please? Pretty please?
Ummmm. What is NTB? No, really!
>The reason I ask is because I hate to think that a great flame war from a few
>months back has gone completely to waste. Used to be, soon after said
>so-called "Scowling vs the LNH" (which I only actually posted four articles
>to) there was no problem with headers. But now...
Technically it was outside LNH continuity featuring a "hero" not yet voted
into the LNH (Elvis Man) and one of my own. I must admit that I broke three
sacred rules of LNH
1. Killing off another character
2. Hurting another character really badly
3. Operating outside LNH continuity
Sorry, guys. But I did enjoy writing it and look forward to Part II: The
Return of Elvis next week.
>Thanks.
>Jim Cowling, Merchant of Menace.
>jcow...@ophelia.uvic.ca GENIE: J.COWLING
>Exterminate all fanboys.
Hey, yo! Waitaminnit. "Exterminate all fanboys" ? A bit extreme, considering,
IMHO, all collectors are fans of something. (this is not flamebait, but feel
welcome to follow me up on this).
John
Josh Geurink
>In article <1993Mar23....@sol.UVic.CA> jcow...@ophelia.UVic.CA (Scowling Jim Cowling) writes:
>>Would you all mind terribly if you would prefix this stuff with "LNH:" or
>>"NTB:"? Please? Pretty please?
Yeah, Jim, most of us know. This guy isn't an official member, and
thus isn't up on etiquette.
(or, if he IS an official member, I must have missed something over
Spring Break!)
>Ummmm. What is NTB? No, really!
That'd be the Net Trenchcoat Brigade.
>>The reason I ask is because I hate to think that a great flame war from a few
>>months back has gone completely to waste. Used to be, soon after said
>>so-called "Scowling vs the LNH" (which I only actually posted four articles
>>to) there was no problem with headers. But now...
Dittos on above. Geez, don't overreact already! ONE guy makes
a mistake, and you jump! :)
And, as I recall, your purpose was to get the LNH off racm...
>Technically it was outside LNH continuity featuring a "hero" not yet voted
>into the LNH (Elvis Man) and one of my own. I must admit that I broke three
>sacred rules of LNH
>1. Killing off another character
Well, heck, that's no biggie. You just have to find a way to
bring him back, is all. :)
>2. Hurting another character really badly
Again, no biggie. Net.Heros make Wolverine look pathetic.
>3. Operating outside LNH continuity
You've been Elsewirlded.
>Sorry, guys. But I did enjoy writing it and look forward to Part II: The
>Return of Elvis next week.
Same here. And, I think you can stop keeping track of the Elvis Man
support/hate 'em numbers. Somehow, I don't think 24 to 3 is a deficit
the "meanies" are going to recover from. :)
Lady Johanna Constantine
>Would you all mind terribly if you would prefix this stuff with "LNH:" or
>"NTB:"? Please? Pretty please?
>The reason I ask is because I hate to think that a great flame war from a few
>months back has gone completely to waste. Used to be, soon after said
>so-called "Scowling vs the LNH" (which I only actually posted four articles
>to) there was no problem with headers. But now...
See, that's the point. John LaRocque has nothing to do with either.
He just wanted to renew his was with Saint. And get back at people
he doesn't like. So this flame war does not belong to the LNH or the NTB.
As much as I'd like to make your life easier by adding it to your
killfile, NTB and LNH are not the way to go.
Maybe MARSHALL LAROCQUE is the header to use?
LJC
--
Jim Cowling
>
>>Would you all mind terribly if you would prefix this stuff with "LNH:" or
>>"NTB:"? Please? Pretty please?
>>months back has gone completely to waste. Used to be, soon after said
>>so-called "Scowling vs the LNH" (which I only actually posted four articles
>>to) there was no problem with headers. But now...
>
>Technically it was outside LNH continuity featuring a "hero" not yet voted
>into the LNH (Elvis Man) and one of my own. I must admit that I broke three
>sacred rules of LNH
Once it crossed-over, it became an LNH/NTB post.
>Hey, yo! Waitaminnit. "Exterminate all fanboys" ? A bit extreme, considering,
>IMHO, all collectors are fans of something. (this is not flamebait, but feel
>welcome to follow me up on this).
No. "Fan" is derived from "fanatic". Not all collectors are fans.
Oh, hell, I'm not interested in starting up the "labeling" issue again.
Sufice it to say that I'm not a fan of anything. Anyone who claims otherwise
is labeling me, and libelling me.
-------
Jim Cowling, Merchant of Menace.
jcow...@ophelia.uvic.ca GENIE: J.COWLING
Who do I speak for? Well, you, for starters.
-------
HC61000
>kiss your boot. Oh please... oh please.
>
>MARSHALL LAROCQUE: Too late. Say bedtime for Bonzo.
>
>
> Turning on his chainsaw, he cuts through the chain that's
> dragging Elvis man in mid air. Elvis, now free, falls
> several hundred feet into the decrepid dump. He screams
> ... and then there is silence. Around Elvis Man's corpse
> are the bodies of the Ex-Men, apparently killed by the
> mysterious and unstoppable Spawn, defender of the
> homeless and enemy of comic villains like Elvis Man.
>
>
>MARSHALL LAROCQUE: [munching on a twinkie] That felt good. I can't
>wait for tomorrow's so-called heroes to show up.
>
> -----------
>
>EXTERIOR: Hero-hunter flys off into the dawn.
>
>
the Golden Ager was starting his daily patrol of Net.ropolis. This
normally would be a good thing, except for the minor detail that
his route placed him on a collision course with the Grim&Gritty ship.
Strangely, this did not seem to upset the Shining Avenger in the least.
Indeed, the Golden Ager has increased his speed.
A 1940s style page: (1)A golden streak hits a black airship
amidships. (2)The airship cracks in twain. (3) Birds eye view of the
Airship hitting the ground and exploding. (4) A black figure is seen
trapped in the wreckage. (5) The Golden Ager flying, with gold contrail.
(6)The Golden Ager, landing. (7) The Golden Ager, in a heroic pose,
speaks: "HA! HA! HA! THE FOOL FORGOT THAT YESTERDAY'S HEROES NEVER DIE!
BUT THEIR VILLIANS DO! IN THIS MANNER SHALL TOMORROW'S HEROES BE SAVED!
(8) The young Elvis Man, shaking hands with the Golden Ager.
(9) The young Elvis Man collecters stamp.
Chris Hare, Bicycle Repair Lad of the LNH.
-- THE SAINT --
LNH from the malicious, unprovoked and tedious postings
of a certain "Marshall" who shall remain nameless ...
I thank you, Lady Joanna Constantine, for having the foresight
to know that Elvis Man is EVERY BIT ALIVE, as are any characters
that this "marshall" attempts to kill without permission or
consent from their owners.
Saint
(Look for more Elvis Man this afternoon ...)
JOHN LAROCQUE
>For her wonderful effort in salvaging Elvis Man and the entire
>LNH from the malicious, unprovoked and tedious postings
>of a certain "Marshall" who shall remain nameless ...
>I thank you, Lady Joanna Constantine, for having the foresight
>to know that Elvis Man is EVERY BIT ALIVE, as are any characters
>that this "marshall" attempts to kill without permission or
>consent from their owners.
Many thanks to Dave Dormelein for keeping the spirit of Marshall
alive. Thanks Acton...... uh Dave.
Thanks from this quarter to LJH for keeping me on my toes and for
some insightful reflections (Marshall and LJH have not met for the
last time...hehehehe).
>Saint
>(Look for more Elvis Man this afternoon ...)
oh boy oh boy.........
"I hunt heroes. Haven't found any..." - Marshall Law
Si Rowe
lar...@gaul.csd.uwo.ca writes:
>Wait till you see Marshall's date with Death. It'll be endless.
Marshall LaRocque's date with Death? You mean the death of Marshall
LaRocque? Oh, 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wished! (Unfortunately,
given the tone of most of the rest of the good Marshall's adventures, I
don't expect to find this episode much to my taste either...)
Yours, Yo-Yo 8>:
__________________________________________________________________________
"I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going
to live like a Narnian as best I can even if there isn't any Narnia."
--Puddleglum the Marsh-wiggle, _The Silver Chair_ by C.S. Lewis
==========================================================================
Yo-Yo is net.parliament.of.owls ambassador to the net.trenchcoat.brigade.
/sir...@pop.cis.yale.edu/ 8>: Si Rowe: Not just a couple of Greek letters!
Si Rowe
HC61000
>Uh, Master Blaster, wReam?
>
>Is it just me, or is this thread beginning to remind you of something? :)
>
>Joshua Henry Geurink, CVE | "...Lockjaw doesn't like children who tell lies.
anything about it. Used the Golden Ager. Knowing Laroc 'ed he's
probably going to try to kill the Golden Ager now. If he doesn't,
so much the better. C'mon, you gotta admit it's fun killing a guy
with no redeeming qualities. We may be able to whack 'im maybe
twenty different ways before this dies out.
Chris Hare
>.
Robert Kelly
Greetings
Will you Legion of Net-Nerds kindly put an LNH before your subject
heads. It's hard to kill your files when you don't comply to
the "agreed" etiquette.
>Saint
>(Look for more Elvis Man this afternoon ...)
Robert Kelly
rke...@triton.unm.edu
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Are we not final proof that there is no good, no evil, no truth, no reason?
Are we not proof that the universe is a drolling idiot with no fashion sense?"
-- Mr. Nobody
Doom Patrol