The first annual "Retconning out Marvel's big mistakes" Challenge!!!
Monkeyboy
Elektra's resurrection and John Byrne's claim that he can resurrect
Betty Banner in two panels (again, jokingly, I hope), I propose a
challenge. The winner of this challenge will earn my respect. (Keep
in mind: the only two people in the world who have fully earned my
respect are Sean Connery and WWF owner Vince McMahon)
Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
-Doug
"How do you know my dim-witted inexperience isn't merely a subtle
form of manipulation used to lower people's expectations thereby
enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given
situation?" Dewey- SCREAM 2
De Parker
> in mind: the only two people in the world who have fully earned my
> respect are Sean Connery and WWF owner Vince McMahon)
Why do you respect Vince McMahon. I lost all resoect for him after
watching that Hitman Hart documentary. It would be kind of funny if
that's actually what made you respect him.
> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
> Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
Spider-Man was being attacked by the Imagineer who has the power to make
one's fantasies come to life and then warp them to destroy his victim's
minds. These fantasies have no effect on the real world, but they haunt
Spider-Man. Once Spider-Man gets a clue and kicks the Imagineer's butt,
he will be at whatever point in life he was before the bad storylines
started coming on a regular basis and some of the warped fantasies will
vanish. The font is really big, but it comes out to 3 and a half pages.
dp
Aaron Thall
nate...@interlog.com (Monkeyboy) wrote:
>After reading Erik Larson's attempt to retcon out (jokingly, I hope)
>Elektra's resurrection and John Byrne's claim that he can resurrect
>Betty Banner in two panels (again, jokingly, I hope), I propose a
>challenge. The winner of this challenge will earn my respect. (Keep
>respect are Sean Connery and WWF owner Vince McMahon)
>
>really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
>nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
>Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
Easy.
Marvel Comics, Spidey division...
Stoned Larry Hama finishes reading script for Spider-Books that is actually
the past 4 years of Spider-Man comic books.
Larry: So what do you think?
Stan: How could you let this guy write Generation X? This is terrible!
Jimmy, the underpaid and undervalued intern, runs into the room.
Jimmy: Mr. Hama, I need the next section of your script for this week's
Amazing!
Hama: Ixnay on the ory-stay... Crap.
Stan: YOU'RE FIRED! (Turns to the rest of the group.) If you'll excuse me, I
have to go write an apology to the fans. You guys had better have Peter sake
up from that Pizza nightmare right away!
The Moon...
The Watcher turns away from his screen, where he has just seen this take
place.
Watcher: I am Uatu, the Watcher, and what I have just observed has served to
remind me that some realities are best left to the minds of the druggies.
Spider-Books end here, and restart right before Clone Saga. This also, as a
bonus, gives Cap back his shield, cancels out Onslaught entirely, and leads to
Darkhawk's comic returning.
FINIS...
Matthew P Craig
> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
> Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
Okay...how about:
Page One:
The Citadel of UATU, the WATCHER. The lights are on, but nobody's home.
Except, of course for the Kree Supreme Intelligence (asleep), and several
dozen SHIELD agents (likewise in a sonambulent state).
Enter Axel Asher, ACCESS, from Stage Left, through a rip in the fabric of
Hypertime (shudder)
ACCESS: Gee Willekers, I wonder what fun a fella could get up to in this
fancy pad!
Access makes his way through the sleeping agents/gestalt alien dictators, and
reaches a door marked "KEEP OUT!" and "NOT MEANT FOR MORTAL EYES!"
ACCESS: Hmm...I guess this must be where What-Ho keeps those She-Hulk
pictures!
Acess pushes the door open, to reveal...
Page Two:
...a big-@$$ Kirby-looking machine. It's the Watcher's Infrascope, or
whatever he calls the device that he uses to monitor the goings-on on the
planet Earth (and yes, I know he has Cosmic Awareness or somesuch
nonsense, but maybe he just uses it to record Babylon 5, eh?).
The machine comprises a small keyboard surrounded by a number of dials,
one large (Hulk-size) monitor surrounded by several satelite screens. Off
to one side, we see a chair, just big enough for Uatu, with a big red
button on it. There's a label on that button, which we can't read...for
now.
Access, with his own semi-omniscience, understands the machine instantly.
Or maybe he reads the manual. Whatever. He leaps into the chair.
ACCESS: Rad! Let me have a go at that thing!
Access starts pushing buttons, twisting dials etc., and as we watch, the
central monitor begins to focus on various individuals: Captain America,
Bill Clinton, Jim Shooter. The surrounding (smaller) screens focus on
recent events in the lives of the people on the central monitor, while the
monitor itself provides real-time surveilance. The outer screens show
images from the recent past, natch.
Close-up on Axel's face as he prays:
ACCESS: Gena Lee! Gena Lee!
...only to discover...
Page Three:
...Spider-Man.
Access watches in ever-growing horror as Spidey's recent past is played
out on the Infrascope: The Robot Parents; The Clone Saga; the Baby; the
return of Aunt May, and the utter ruination of Norman Osborn as an
arch-enemy; the endless Venom mini-series; Ms. Lion.
The final straw comes when Access studies the main monitor. Axel grinds
his teeth in disgust as the "new Spider-Man" is revealed to be the most
lame-@$$ character to ever grace a comic book. As he watches the girl
(ACCESS: WTF?! She's a GIRL?!) take on the identity of Spider-Woman,
wearing the worst costume ever to be seen outside of Jean-Paul Gaultier's
nightmares, he snaps:
ACCESS: This channel sucks! Change it!
And he bashes his fist down on the Red Button on the armrest of the chair.
The label reads: "COSMIC RESET BUTTON"
A flash of light (ACCESS: Jinkies!), and the universe as we know it ceases
to exist.
Page Four:
It's AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 365 all over again. The last two pages, where
Peter has rushed over to Aunt May's house to meet (in the original
version) his Robot Parents. Aunt May takes Peter by the arm.
MAY: Peter, dear, I have some people I'd like you to meet. They - -
They're - -
PETER: Aunt May, what is it?
MAY: They're...
May opens a door behind her, to reveal...
MAY: Alf, and Mr. T!
Peter looks puzzled for a moment, then shakes his head, and joins the
party, thankfully oblivious to the mayhem, emotional trauma, and terrible
costumes that otherwise would have plagued him for years to come.
The End.
Mattscrew - Well, ok, I overran by a little. It was worth it!
//\Oo/\\
Darren Natale
<gt5...@prism.gatech.edu> wrote:
> Monkeyboy wrote:
>
> > in mind: the only two people in the world who have fully earned my
> > respect are Sean Connery and WWF owner Vince McMahon)
>
> Why do you respect Vince McMahon. I lost all resoect for him after
> watching that Hitman Hart documentary. It would be kind of funny if
> that's actually what made you respect him.
>
> > Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> > really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> > nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
> > Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
>
> Spider-Man was being attacked by the Imagineer who has the power to make
> one's fantasies come to life and then warp them to destroy his victim's
> minds. These fantasies have no effect on the real world, but they haunt
> Spider-Man. Once Spider-Man gets a clue and kicks the Imagineer's butt,
> he will be at whatever point in life he was before the bad storylines
> started coming on a regular basis and some of the warped fantasies will
> vanish. The font is really big, but it comes out to 3 and a half pages.
I recall an issue of the FF (original run) where the FF are contacted by
the comic company (I don't recall if they specified Marvel) so they can
get the latest scoop on the FF's goings-on. Apparently, the comics in the
MU are "real-life" in that they tell stories that actually happened to the
protagonist (this point was touched on in another thread about
continuity). What this comes down to is that the "bad stories" of the
past few years was due to Peter relating his nightmare to the writer, and
the writer mistakingly taking the contents of the dream as having actually
happened.
Of course, all of the above still violates the stipulation that the retcon
not be dream related, but hey--I'm not a writer!
DN
De Parker
> De Parker wrote:
> > Monkeyboy wrote:
I don't read SPIDER-MAN so I couldn't have stolen the story. It just
means that my imagination is up there with the professional writers. I
bet they needed a good night's sleep, food, time, and money to come up
with the idea.
> Of course, all of the above still violates the stipulation that the retcon
> not be dream related, but hey--I'm not a writer!
It may have ben like 4AM, but I knew the rules. He said no dreams and
no nightmares. I used thoughts brought to life. I didn't see related
anywhere. You could have at least told me my big font bs wasn't going
to work.
dp - who pleads "nolo contende"
Darren Natale
<gt5...@prism.gatech.edu> wrote:
It must still be 4AM :) I think you misunderstand me--your idea is just
fine, and to my knowledge not lifted from anywhere. I related the FF
thing to show that your explanation fits quite well with the way comics
*within the MU* supposedly work. No offense meant whatsoever. Anyway,
does anyone else remember what I am talking about?
DN
Kirk
>It must still be 4AM :) I think you misunderstand me--your idea is just
>fine, and to my knowledge not lifted from anywhere. I related the FF
>thing to show that your explanation fits quite well with the way comics
>*within the MU* supposedly work. No offense meant whatsoever. Anyway,
>does anyone else remember what I am talking about?
I know exactly what you're talking about. She-Hulk 50 dealt with it
better than any other Marvel comic. It had She-Hulk reviewing
different creators's takes on her title. Tons of guest stars and
quite a bit of good humour abounded.
-Kirk (loved the line about losing money on mutant titles)
Never trust ambitious plant life.
...Or people with really long signature files.
Marvel Comic Ring
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/4296/
Department H
http://www.geocities.com/~department_h/
GLA - The Great Lakes Avengers
http://www.geocities.com/~department_h/gla/
Heroes For Hire Online
http://www.geocities.com/~department_h/h4h/
AVENGERS: The Next Generation
http://www.geocities.com/~department_h/a-next/
MC2 Messages
http://www.InsideTheWeb.com/mbs.cgi/mb79676
eastonbrown
Darren Natale wrote in message ...
Anyway,
>does anyone else remember what I am talking about?
Yup.
Fantastic Four (first series) # 10 I think. Stan & Jack haven't heard of any
new FF stories for a while and Jack suggests making some up. Stan thinks
that this is a terrible idea, then Dr. Doom walks in and forces Stan to
phone Mr. Fantastic and bait a trap.
The idea's been regurgitated a few times since. Notabley Thing # 5 (? The
assistant editors month one) where the main story shows the Thing fighting a
bad guy called Goody Two Shoes for 17 pages. In the back up strip, a very
pissed -off Thing walks into John Byrne's studio asking how Byrne could pull
that crap, and claiming that he actually knocked out Goody Two Shoes with
one flick of his fingers. Byrne claimed that that just wasn't going to sell
comics.
Easton Brown.
De Parker
> De Parker wrote:
> > Darren Natale wrote:
> > > De Parker wrote:
> > > > Monkeyboy wrote:
> It must still be 4AM :) I think you misunderstand me--your idea is just
> fine, and to my knowledge not lifted from anywhere. I related the FF
> thing to show that your explanation fits quite well with the way comics
> *within the MU* supposedly work. No offense meant whatsoever. Anyway,
> does anyone else remember what I am talking about?
Not really, but that's your problem, amigo. I wasn't offended. I tend
not to use smilies. I get a kick out of confusing people, but I usually
pay by them not getting the joke with me. I was pretending to be
offended by these ridiculous accusations. My clock still has 4AM.
Maybe, I should see if I can get it fixed.
dp
Ryan Lanyon
> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
One word: Mojoverse.
-RL
Titano
>
> After reading Erik Larson's attempt to retcon out (jokingly, I hope)
> Elektra's resurrection and John Byrne's claim that he can resurrect
> Betty Banner in two panels (again, jokingly, I hope), I propose a
> challenge. The winner of this challenge will earn my respect. (Keep
> respect are Sean Connery and WWF owner Vince McMahon)
>
> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
>
I got one word for you: Liddleville
WmBrackeen
>really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
>nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
>Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
>
Page one: Peter is confronted with the return of Captain Stacy and Gwen.
Everybody seems to react as if it's normal.
Page Two: He races away from the scene, becoming Spidey to clear his head, he
lands on a rooftop and runs smack into Jean DeWollfe. Peter collapses on the
verge of a breakdown.
Page Three: Pulling back from the scene framed around a tv screen we see
Mysterio watching from his secret hideout laughing maniacally surrounded by
various "clones" including Norman Osbourne, The Scarlet Spider (slightly
damaged), and others.
William Brackeen
Writer of RED PRIME and PURGE
coming in July from QUANTUM COMICS
http://www.quantumcomics.com/
Ray Smo
The cops who arrested Peter Parker after Aunt May's funeral were really agents
of Arcade, who learned Spidey's ID by, oh let's say, bribing Uatu. Ever since
issue 400 Pete's been in a huge warped Murderworld created to drive Spider-man
insane...I know it's worked on me.
Timeo Hominem Unius Libri
Raymond Smotherman
Ray S...@AOL.com
no.fun@all
Monkeyboy schrieb:
> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
Ok, my try:
The heroes discover that all the troubles with the skrulls in Captain
America were only to cover a much bigger scheme: The Dire Wraith (some of
them are still around) seek revenge on ROM, the Gladiatorans and everyone
who help them. The DW infiltrated earth shortly before the bad Spider-Man
stories began and everything - from the Crossing, to Onslaught 'till (and
not ending) with the Spider-Man clone - were only a means to destroy the
earth heroes. The infiltration is complete, to seek out and catch the DW
now is impossible. Like cancer that had infected all your body, you
cannot simple cut out all bad parts without killing the body. So the only
solution the heroes find is to warp back the complete earth to the time
before the infiltration began and stop it there/then. (Or alternativley
only a couple of heroes go back in time, stop the infiltration, but
cannot go back to their original timeline.) The changed timeline is now
the one that is the official Marvel Timeline.
You think that's not possible and a bad story? Anyone out there
remembering the Uncanny X-Men story line where this wizard from Conans
time transforms New York to a hyperborean town (about #180)? At the end
the wizard was defeated by changing a detail in the past (the worker
finding the amulett) and everthing was OK from now on. Dr. Strange
transported a couple of heroes to the new timeline, which has been
followed since then. BUT as we know (at least since Avengers Forever) you
cannot eliminate a timeline by changing something in its past, you only
create a divergence. You would need this strange thing (forgot its name)
after which Immortus is chasing (BTW if you only can permanently change
time with this thing, then what is the Time Gem for? Or is it the missing
Time Gem, just in another form?).
So my conclusion: We already follow the Marvel Universe in a divergent
timeline, so there should be no problem to simply change to a new one.
Or maybe when the Avengers returned from there visit to the SqaudSupreme
world, they returned to the wrong dimension (anyone remembering the
thoughts Vision had about it?) and the "real" Marvel Timeline is the one
seen in Fantastiv Four/Fantastic 4 annual.
Markus
Monkeyboy
>Monkeyboy wrote:
>
>> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
>> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
>> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
>One word: Mojoverse.
Two words: Nice try.
Monkeyboy
>Monkeyboy wrote:
>
>> in mind: the only two people in the world who have fully earned my
>> respect are Sean Connery and WWF owner Vince McMahon)
>
>Why do you respect Vince McMahon. I lost all resoect for him after
>watching that Hitman Hart documentary. It would be kind of funny if
>that's actually what made you respect him.
Actually, that is the reason. I think the documentary show how human
he is. Let's face it, he was put into a tough situation. The
heavyweight champion of the WWF was about to leave his organization
with the Heavyweight championship belt and the possibility that Bret
would trash said belt in the same way that the WWF's women
championship belt was trashed by some years ago. So he lied to Bret
(like I think most human beings would do if they were in that
situation) and betrayed Bret by screwing him out of the belt.
Long story short: Bret Hart ends up looking like a victim and gains
new fans and Vince McMahon uses the public's disgust to build himself
and his associates as the main heels of the WWF. Everyone ended up
winning.
And by the way, how do you think Vince felt when Bret decided to left
the WWF for the rival organization? Betrayed, maybe?
>> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
>> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
>> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
>> Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
>
>Spider-Man was being attacked by the Imagineer who has the power to make
>one's fantasies come to life and then warp them to destroy his victim's
>minds. These fantasies have no effect on the real world, but they haunt
>Spider-Man. Once Spider-Man gets a clue and kicks the Imagineer's butt,
>he will be at whatever point in life he was before the bad storylines
>started coming on a regular basis and some of the warped fantasies will
>vanish. The font is really big, but it comes out to 3 and a half pages.
Interesting but I don't think this would fit into 3 and 1/2 pages.
Monkeyboy
>>Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
>>really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
>>nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>>
>>Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
>>
>
>Page one: Peter is confronted with the return of Captain Stacy and Gwen.
>Everybody seems to react as if it's normal.
>
>Page Two: He races away from the scene, becoming Spidey to clear his head, he
>lands on a rooftop and runs smack into Jean DeWollfe. Peter collapses on the
>verge of a breakdown.
>
>Page Three: Pulling back from the scene framed around a tv screen we see
>Mysterio watching from his secret hideout laughing maniacally surrounded by
>various "clones" including Norman Osbourne, The Scarlet Spider (slightly
>damaged), and others.
The only problem I have with this scenario is that it replaces Norman
Osborne as the force of evil behind all the bad, recent events in
Parker's life with Mysterio in the same way Norman replaced the
Jackal. It's not very creative. Sorry, no dice.
Monkeyboy
>Monkeyboy wrote:
>>
>> After reading Erik Larson's attempt to retcon out (jokingly, I hope)
>> Elektra's resurrection and John Byrne's claim that he can resurrect
>> Betty Banner in two panels (again, jokingly, I hope), I propose a
>> challenge. The winner of this challenge will earn my respect. (Keep
>> in mind: the only two people in the world who have fully earned my
>> respect are Sean Connery and WWF owner Vince McMahon)
>>
>> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
>> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
>> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>>
>> Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
>>
>
>
>I got one word for you: Liddleville
And I got three words for you: Been done before.
Monkeyboy
>EZ enuff:
>
>The cops who arrested Peter Parker after Aunt May's funeral were really agents
>of Arcade, who learned Spidey's ID by, oh let's say, bribing Uatu. Ever since
>issue 400 Pete's been in a huge warped Murderworld created to drive Spider-man
>insane...I know it's worked on me.
First off, bribe Uatu with what? A giant pair of expensive sunglasses
and a huge wig?
Second, why would Arcade waste well over a year, trying to drive
Parker insane?
WmBrackeen
>Osborne as the force of evil behind all the bad, recent events in
>Parker's life with Mysterio in the same way Norman replaced the
>Jackal. It's not very creative. Sorry, no dice.
>
Yeah, but it's actually Mysterio's m.o., unlike Osborne and doesn't necessitate
a resurrection.
De Parker
> De Parker wrote:
> >Monkeyboy wrote:
> >> in mind: the only two people in the world who have fully earned my
> >> respect are Sean Connery and WWF owner Vince McMahon)
> >Why do you respect Vince McMahon. I lost all resoect for him after
> >watching that Hitman Hart documentary. It would be kind of funny if
> >that's actually what made you respect him.
> Actually, that is the reason. I think the documentary show how human
> he is. Let's face it, he was put into a tough situation. The
> heavyweight champion of the WWF was about to leave his organization
> with the Heavyweight championship belt and the possibility that Bret
> would trash said belt in the same way that the WWF's women
> championship belt was trashed by some years ago. So he lied to Bret
> (like I think most human beings would do if they were in that
> situation) and betrayed Bret by screwing him out of the belt.
Hart made no plans to leave until McMahon practically forced him out.
Hart and McMahon were old friends. He had spent nearly 20 years with
him. McMahon lied several times to Hart and to wrestling fans about
their situation.
> Long story short: Bret Hart ends up looking like a victim and gains
> new fans and Vince McMahon uses the public's disgust to build himself
> and his associates as the main heels of the WWF. Everyone ended up
> winning.
He's a great businessman, but he's still an @$$hole.
> And by the way, how do you think Vince felt when Bret decided to left
> the WWF for the rival organization? Betrayed, maybe?
Vince started screwing Bret over long before then. It was McMahon who
told Hart that he wanted out of their contract. What was he supposed to
do? Take lesser pay, and lose his status, or take a pay raise, and lose
his status?
> >> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> >> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> >> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
> >> Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
> >Spider-Man was being attacked by the Imagineer who has the power to make
> >one's fantasies come to life and then warp them to destroy his victim's
> >minds. These fantasies have no effect on the real world, but they haunt
> >Spider-Man. Once Spider-Man gets a clue and kicks the Imagineer's butt,
> >he will be at whatever point in life he was before the bad storylines
> >started coming on a regular basis and some of the warped fantasies will
> >vanish. The font is really big, but it comes out to 3 and a half pages.
> Interesting but I don't think this would fit into 3 and 1/2 pages.
The font is really big.
dp
Woutthi...@yahoo.com
there was a Judas Traveler (ugh) story in which he ensnared Spidey in visions
of the end of the world etc. Spidey of course broke free/proved the strength
of his spirit. Now here's the catch - he's still caught in the illusion. Now
as for WHY JT would come up with such a silly sequence of events to
test/torture is another story...
Wout Thielemans
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
bsvit...@mln.lib.ma.us
nate...@interlog.com wrote:
> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
> Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
>
In a climactic confrontation with Norman Osborne, Spidey gets help from "Teen
Tony" Iron Man. The sequence ends with a caption: "Continued in the next
issue of Iron Man." Then I hand the whole mess over to Busiek. I figure he
still owes us all for the idea that Jean Grey was never Phoenix.
- Bill Svitavsky
bre...@hotmail.com
"no.fun@all" <mael...@ping.at> wrote:
>
>
> Monkeyboy schrieb:
>
> > Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> > really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> > nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
> >
>
Easy. Reed Richards calls. "Hey, Ive figured out a way to remove that gizmo
in your Aunts head without sewtting it off." Bam, Aunt May collapses- go to
hospital. When the gizmo is removed, Aunt May starts to de-age at an
incredible rate till she is revealed to be _Baby_ May. the gizmo in her head
was making her old. Not only does this restore the old contiuity, it ties up
a lot of loose ends.
B
eastonbrown
no.fun@all wrote in message <36B16C5F...@ping.at>...
>Or maybe when the Avengers returned from there visit to the SqaudSupreme
>world, they returned to the wrong dimension (anyone remembering the
>thoughts Vision had about it?)
Yup: Avengers (first series) # 86. Do I win a prize?
Paul O'Brien
writes
>Using the crappy continuity which got us into this mess in the first place -
>there was a Judas Traveler (ugh) story in which he ensnared Spidey in visions
>of the end of the world etc. Spidey of course broke free/proved the strength
>of his spirit. Now here's the catch - he's still caught in the illusion. Now
>as for WHY JT would come up with such a silly sequence of events to
>test/torture is another story...
Doesn't quite work. How do you justify his guest appearances in
other titles during this period?
Paul O'Brien
pa...@esoterica.demon.co.uk, www.tardis.ed.ac.uk/~prob/
Like Bunty, but written by tramps.
Paul O'Brien
>
>You think that's not possible and a bad story? Anyone out there
>remembering the Uncanny X-Men story line where this wizard from Conans
>time transforms New York to a hyperborean town (about #180)? At the end
>the wizard was defeated by changing a detail in the past (the worker
>finding the amulett) and everthing was OK from now on. Dr. Strange
>transported a couple of heroes to the new timeline, which has been
>followed since then.
It's perhaps worth mentioning that this is the interpretation placed
on the story by the Official Handbook, in an attempt to force it into
line with Marvel time travel policy. The story itself simply shows
history being changed.
Malice
<36b166fa...@news.interlog.com>...
> ray...@aol.comSPAMBLOK (Ray Smo) wrote:
>
> >EZ enuff:
> >
> >The cops who arrested Peter Parker after Aunt May's funeral were really
agents
> >of Arcade, who learned Spidey's ID by, oh let's say, bribing Uatu. Ever
since
> >issue 400 Pete's been in a huge warped Murderworld created to drive
Spider-man
> >insane...I know it's worked on me.
>
> First off, bribe Uatu with what? A giant pair of expensive sunglasses
> and a huge wig?
>
> Second, why would Arcade waste well over a year, trying to drive
> Parker insane?
Why not? To quote Randy from Scream: "It's the Millenium, motives are
incidental." Arcade is crazy enough to pull crap like that...
Malice
--
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a
way of looking at life through the wrong end of a
telescope. Which is what I want to do, and that
enables me to laugh at life's realities."
-Dr. Seuss
Not a WCW fan...not a WWF fan...but a 'wrestling' fan
De Parker
> Monkeyboy wrote:
> > First off, bribe Uatu with what? A giant pair of expensive sunglasses
> > and a huge wig?
> > Second, why would Arcade waste well over a year, trying to drive
> > Parker insane?
> Why not? To quote Randy from Scream: "It's the Millenium, motives are
> incidental." Arcade is crazy enough to pull crap like that...
Arcade gets paid to test/torture/kill people in Murderworld. Now, you
want him to pay someone else for the secret identities of superheroes?
That really is a bad idea no matter how crazy Arcade may be. Also, I
don't think the SCREAM quote was meant for career criminals who have
established motives.
dp
Terrafamilia
Monkeyboy wrote:
> Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
>
> Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
The Shaper of Worlds finally gets bored with his latest *objet d'art*.
Realizing that no matter what he tries it just doesn't get any better, he
just wipes it out with his cosmic reset button. Since everyone involved
in the mess gets reset, he doesn't leave any witnesses who could cast
aspersions on his artistic reputation (except for Uatu who'll promise to
keep mum).
Ciao,
Terrafamilia
DocTiki
> In article <78sgf4$h0o$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, Woutthi...@yahoo.com
> writes
> >Using the crappy continuity which got us into this mess in the first place -
> >there was a Judas Traveler (ugh) story in which he ensnared Spidey in visions
> >of the end of the world etc. Spidey of course broke free/proved the strength
> >of his spirit. Now here's the catch - he's still caught in the illusion. Now
> >as for WHY JT would come up with such a silly sequence of events to
> >test/torture is another story...
>
> Doesn't quite work. How do you justify his guest appearances in
> other titles during this period?
Psst! Spider-clones! ;)
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Malice
had mass sums of money dumped into his lap for the completeion of one task:
Drive Spiderman crazy...and if you kill him in the process? Well, make
sure he's crazy first. To me, anyway, the Spider-books started on their
downward spiral shortly after Maximumm Carnage...well, Maximum Carnage
starts with the funeral of Harry Osborn. Harry sets up a file with all his
plans, all essential info on Peter Parker and Spider-Man, etc, with very
explicit instructions on what he wants carried out here. This file doesn't
open or send, either one, until Harry Osborn's death...there are
explanantions that could be used to explain that, using Marvel Earth
technology, but if you all just NEED me to elaborate, I can. Well, this
leads to Arcade plotting the biggest job of his career...much larger than
locking Puck up in a fun house and making him think Heather Hudson is dead.
Why would he do the job anyway if he had the money dumped into his lap?
Why not? Or more accurately, Arcade is fooled into believing that The
Green Goblin that hired him is still alive...{or maybe he is? Thus
implying that Harry is having somebody else carry this whole thing out, an
agent...maybe someone like Mysterio? Or even just some low-life with
connections, this part is truly incidental.} Norman Osborne would work
immensely better in this role than Harry would, but since we would be
ret-conning the 'ressurrection' of Norman Osborne, Harry's death works so
much better in the time frame.
But, again, there is that question...why would Arcade waste a year of his
life with this? And again...why not? This is his biggest job. Between
his cunning and Harry Osborne's knowledge of Peter and Spider-Man, all
Arcade needs is patience...patience the likes of which can be bought by the
money Arcade is recieving, which is, in turn, more than he could ever have
hoped one kill could bring.
Could this fit on 3 1/2 pages? Yes...but the artist would hate to draw
those three and 1/2 pages...it could all be done recap-style where Arcade
is either revealing the specifics to a quite mad and utterly beaten and
battered Spider-Man moments before the coup-de-grace...or it could simply
be Arcade revealing it al to Miss Locke when she questions why he is
obsessing over one useless bug when those X-Force punks are such easy
pickings right now...I don't know all the specifics, but I bet I could
figure them out if I was being paid to. Anyway, rip it apart guys, there's
bound to be holes in that thar plot.
Peter Meilinger
: In article <36b02e38....@news.interlog.com>,
: nate...@interlog.com wrote:
: > Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
: > really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
: > nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
: >
: > Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
: >
: In a climactic confrontation with Norman Osborne, Spidey gets help from "Teen
: Tony" Iron Man. The sequence ends with a caption: "Continued in the next
: issue of Iron Man." Then I hand the whole mess over to Busiek. I figure he
: still owes us all for the idea that Jean Grey was never Phoenix.
Oh sure, that's mature. I can do it in two words: Earth 2.
Hell, DC ain't using it anymore.
Pete
Woutthi...@yahoo.com
gur...@hotmail.com wrote:
> Paul O'Brien wrote:
>
> > In article <78sgf4$h0o$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, Woutthi...@yahoo.com
> > writes
> > >Using the crappy continuity which got us into this mess in the first place
-
> > >there was a Judas Traveler (ugh) story in which he ensnared Spidey in
visions
> > >of the end of the world etc. Spidey of course broke free/proved the
strength
> > >of his spirit. Now here's the catch - he's still caught in the illusion.
Now
> > >as for WHY JT would come up with such a silly sequence of events to
> > >test/torture is another story...
> >
> > Doesn't quite work. How do you justify his guest appearances in
> > other titles during this period?
>
> Psst! Spider-clones! ;)
>
LOL!! As good an explanation as any. Let me come up with a worse one...
1) All guest-appearances with Spidey in which his clone-troubles weren't
mentioned : actually happened. 2) All others (including all scarlet
spider-appearances with the NW's : part of the illusion.
Now here's the really awful twist in the tale : the spiderman in the guest-
shots is the spiderman AFTER he's been released from the (still continuing)
vision! So we're still following storylines which actually DIDN'T happen three
years ago!! Hey, if PPS #2 can take place AFTER PPS#3, anything is possible...
Wout THielemans
Sean Walsh aka slw67
Because they destroyed it. And anyway, now that Hypertime exists,
Earth-2 can be accessible thru other timelines...
--
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dunes/7637/index.html
The New Gods Library, My Star Wars Humor Stories and Archive, The Comic
Nexus, and more!
Ray Smo
However, thank you Malice for the defense and making it sound not as stupid as
I thought inthe first place!
Oh and the Watcher bit? I really really didn't mean that! Harry Osborne?
Excellent touch!
bsvit...@mln.lib.ma.us
mell...@bu.edu (Peter Meilinger) wrote:
> bsvit...@mln.lib.ma.us wrote:
> : In article <36b02e38....@news.interlog.com>,
> : nate...@interlog.com wrote:
>
> : > Anyway, my challenge is this: retcon out the last couple years of
> : > really bad Spider-man stories, without making everything a dream (or
> : > nightmare, if you will), in (here's the hard part) 3 and 1/2 pages!
> : >
> : > Can it be done? Anyone wish to step up to the plate?
> : >
>
> : In a climactic confrontation with Norman Osborne, Spidey gets help from
"Teen
> : Tony" Iron Man. The sequence ends with a caption: "Continued in the next
> : issue of Iron Man." Then I hand the whole mess over to Busiek. I figure he
> : still owes us all for the idea that Jean Grey was never Phoenix.
>
> Oh sure, that's mature. I can do it in two words: Earth 2.
>
> Hell, DC ain't using it anymore.
>
What? You criticize James Robinson for his take on Golden Age heroes, but
you'd stick the Clone Saga and the revived Norman Osborne & Aunt May in the
same universe as the JSA?
I suppose it could be a prank of Mr. Mxyztplk, though, possibly in league with
Lois Lane's mischievous niece Susie. Eventually, Spidey tricks him into saying
his name backwards and all that nonsense is gone.
- Bill Svitavsky
eastonbrown
Peter and Harry regain conciousness on the first page surrounded by pizza
boxes and puke.
Peter: I am never doing any of those pills ever again.
Harry: Ditto, let's phone Gwen & MJ and see if they want to go out to the
Coffee a go go.
Jon Clark
Peter's parents took place in the Heroes Reborn Universe. Since Pete was
pulled from an earlier point than the Avengers and FF, it has taken this long
to restore him to his proper universe.
bsvit...@mln.lib.ma.us
That's a very good solution. It leaves a few holes, though, like the
Thunderbolts crossover and Spidey experiencing the other heroes' return. I'm
tempted to suggest that there was yet another clone running around the Marvel
Universe while the real Peter was in the Heroes Reborn Universe, but that
could easily just make things worse.