The Similarrion, Episode 6: The Great Journey
JRR 'Jar-Jar' Tolkein
OK, it's not Book 3, Chapter 4 or anything, but it's something
to snack on until the long-awaited Etext gets trucking again.
Remember now, folks: The Elder have awakened, and Moregoth
has been arrested and put in prison:
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Episode 6: The Great Journey
Now the Valor held council on whether to summon the Elder
to Amen or leave them in Little-Earth. Elmo said, "We have
just made war for three whole weeks to make Little-Earth
safe for the Elder, so why move them now to Amen?" Aromä
replied, "There are still many evil things in Little-Earth.
And Mauron we found not." "But Mauron is but a single Laia,"
declared Elmo. "I deem that he will cause but little trouble
in Little-Earth." But in the end, the Valor decided to summon
the Elder, and Aromä was sent to Caffiénen to deliver the message.
But the Elves were greatly afraid of the Valor, and said to Aromä,
"You mean you want us to go to the land of those bad dudes whom
we saw marching in wrath against the North? Verily would we
rather chew tin foil! We may be immortal, but we are not stupid!"
So Aromä selected the three most fearless lords of the Elder as
ambassadors to visit the Valor in Amen on behalf of their kindreds.
And lo, the socks of the three Elf-lords were knocked off by the
beauty of Amen and the majesty of the Valor and the light of the
Two Trees. And Aromä returned them to Caffiénen, and they spoke
to their kindreds, saying, "Amen rocks, and the Valor rule! They
actually dwell in buildings rather than trees! Let us go there and
dwell with them."
But the Elves were divided over this counsel. Most of the kindreds
of the three Elf-lords, while not knowing what a "building" was,
were nonetheless swayed by their words. But the remaining
Elves were unwilling to leave the forests and starry skies of
Little-Earth. They told the other Elves, "If you would go thither,
then fare you well, and let not the tree branches hit your hind quarters
on the way out." Because they said "Arrivaderci" to the Three Kindreds,
these were henceforth called the Arriva, or the Dumb-Elves.
But the Elder (which henceforth referred only to the Three Kindreds
and not the Dumb-Elves) led by Aromä, began the Great Journey across
Little-Earth, for Caffiénen was in the North-East. Following closely
upon Aromä was the kindred called the Vanguard because they were
the first to depart. Their lord was called Ingway, which was pig-Latin
for "Wing," since he was a fan of the all of the birds of Manlÿ. Next
was the larger kindred called the Knowmore because of their desire
for craft and knowledge. Their lord was named Finnwë because,
like all Elves, he spoke Finnish. The largest kindred was named the
Solosimpi, but were commonly called the Tailendi since they departed
last. Indeed, they tarried long because of their love for Little-Earth,
and not all of them finished the Journey. (But those who did not
complete the Great Journey are still reckoned among the Elder,
and they were still given the same "Great Journey" T-shirts as those
who went to Amen.) Because of their great numbers, the Tailendi
had two lords, the brothers Elway (so named because of the strength
of his arm) and Olway (so named because it sounded a lot like "Elway").
Elway was nicknamed Wrongwë because he made many ill turnings
during the journey, so that the march of the Tailendi was long indeed,
and they would in time miss the first boat to Amen.
The Great Journey was very long indeed, for the Elder were natural
tourists, and filled with wonder at the beauty of Little-Earth were
anxious to stop and take pictures whenever they could. Whenever
Aromä would leave them for a time, they would at once stop their
march and camp out and grill sausages and toast marshmallows
until he returned to guide them again. So many years passed before
they came at last to the Great River that flows down the middle of
Little-Earth. And lo, the Vanguard and the Knowmore passed over
the River and on to the Moist Mountains, but the Tailendi tarried
and grilled spicy Andouille sausage, so that the River was ever after
called Andouille the Great. And a number of the Tailendi headed
south, for they were too namby-pamby to cross the River; thus
they were called the Nambor.
Now finally the Vanguard and the Knowmore crossed the Moist
Mountains and entered into the westernmost land of Little-Earth,
called Beleriland. And reaching the shores of the Great Sea they
were greatly afraid. And Aromä was perplexed, for he perceived
that the Valor had given no thought at all to the matter of getting
the Elder across the Sea. So he went to seek the counsel of Manlÿ,
and the peoples of Ingway and Finnwë hung out in Beleriland.
Next Episode: Of Tingle and Melon
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The Similarrion is on the Web at
http://www.geocities.com/jsolinas/FotW/index.html
smokyb...@my-deja.com
tol...@6ftunder.uk wrote:
>
Applause. Much applause.
Smoky
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Jim
JRR 'Jar-Jar' Tolkein <tol...@6ftunder.uk> wrote in message
news:39BFFDFF...@6ftunder.uk...
>"Amen rocks, and the Valor rule!
> Solosimpi, but were commonly called the Tailendi since they departed
> and they were still given the same "Great Journey" T-shirts as those
> who went to Amen.) Because of their great numbers, the Tailendi
> had two lords, the brothers Elway (so named because of the strength
> of his arm) and Olway (so named because it sounded a lot like "Elway").
> Elway was nicknamed Wrongwë because he made many ill turnings
> during the journey, so that the march of the Tailendi was long indeed,
> and they would in time miss the first boat to Amen.
lmfao, top notch stuff
Jim D