[Ranma 1/2 fanfic] "The More Things Change" part 2 [FanFic]
RpM-acct2/5
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic
Based on characters and stories by Rumiko Takahashi.
Insert any other legal jargon I forgot -here-
Yes, it's my first fanfic.
Insert standard "it's my first..." stuff -here-
Written by Rod M. (R...@UH.EDU)
Final version (I hope)
=========================================================================
* The More Things Change... *
=========================================================================
"The hardest thing in life to learn is
which bridge to cross and which to burn."
- anonymous
==========================
PART II
Ryoga the Girl-Magnet!
==========================
[Evening, Near the End of Summer]
Back at Ucchan's, Ryoga had just finished helping Ukyo close down
the store. He locked up the doors and headed to the back area of Ucchan's
for what had become a nightly habit for both of them.
"Alright then," Ryoga said, a smile growing on his face, "let's
get started."
If there was one thing that brought out a little sense of fun in him
lately, it was these nightly sessions with Ukyo. Ryoga admitted to himself
that he was still a bit inept at it and ended up with his arms all wet and
really tired, but he was getting better at it. Sure he ended up doing all
the work, but seeing how it cheered up Ukyo made him feel better.
"Oh my," Ukyo taunted, "feeling lucky tonight?"
Ukyo enjoyed this nightly ritual as well. She'd normally rather have
Ranma here, but she wasn't sure she was ready to face him again without
a major emotional breakdown. Besides, it was nice to see Ryoga cheer up
a bit, even if he usually ended up doing all the work.
Ukyo turned around, bent forward a bit, opened a drawer, and took out
a small package. She smiled wickedly and turned to face Ryoga.
"Okay, the game's poker, seven card draw, aces wild. Looser cleans the
dishes and the grill!"
---------
Hikaru Gosunkugi glanced nervously out at the night. He hadn't been resting
well ever since the time he tried to summon an assassin spirit. Exactly why
this was so eluded him. Shouldn't that have made him feel better? For once,
his magics had actually managed to work and he had made contact with The Other
Side. Well... at least he managed to leave a message on the automated reply
system anyways. Still, he felt nervous and edgy.
Recently, he had a nightmare where he was looking rather healthy and
hansome, and suddenly ran into an angry and demonic version of himself, looking
like it came straight out of hell.
That was silly, he thought. If that stupid supernatural assassin came
through anyways, he _should_ be able to have some control of it, right?
He drew up the magic circle once again, tied candles to his head, and
bent down to speak into the circle.
"Er... hello?" he meekly said.
"Supernatural Assassins, may I help you?" said a soothing voice.
"Well, yes, I'd like to cancel a previous order."
"Cancel?"
---------
[The week after]
It was once again closing time at Ucchan's.
Ryoga couldn't take it anymore. The same damned routine, day in, day out.
Wake up, feel sorry for himself for a couple of hours while working as a
waiter, eat some okonomiyaki, wallow in angst, eat some okonomikayi, sleep.
The card games were nice, but he feeling cooped up. He was beginning to wonder
if he was becoming a nuisance to Ukyo.
He was also beginning to get a little sick of okonomiyaki, but he felt
he'd be killed by Ukyo if he revealed that little fact.
He needed to get out, that's what he needed.
"Hey, Ukyo, wanna go out?"
This threw Ukyo off a bit. "Well..."
"Er, go out?"
Ryoga didn't notice her figiting. He was wrapped up thinking about his
own problems. "Yeah, see a movie or something. I just gotta break out of
this routine. You're right, I should get on with my life. I can't hide in
here forever, right?"
Ukyo wasn't sure what to say. It felt good to see Ryoga finally shake out
of his slump. She guessed that maybe she just got used to having depressed
Ryoga around, and this new direction Ryoga was a surprise.
"Besides, if you don't guide me around, I'll be lost for weeks" Ryoga said,
smiling at his own joke. He used to really deny that his sense of direction
was lousy. He wondered why.
Ukyo smiled warmly "Yeah, sure. Let's get outta here." {Looks like you're
getting your sense of humor back, Ryoga.} She thought. Ukyo looked at Ryoga
and she imagined what he'd be like without the bandana... and maybe with a
pig-tail... and some dental work... and a red Chinese shirt...
"Hey, Ukyo, I'm not too much of a bother, am I? I mean, me staying
here for the past few months."
"No, no. I'm glad you're here," Ukyo answered. "I really needed the
help around here," she said, smiling. She looked at Ryoga and thought about
somebody else.
"Good," he replied. He saw her smile and it reminded him of someone else
too.
------------
[October, Monday Morning]
It was the school season.
It was a potential disaster in body-counts and property damage, Ranma
thought. His engagement to Akane was well known, but everyone also knew they
didn't plan on carrying out the wedding. It wasn't exactly common knowledge
that they'd finally gotten serious about it, and he didn't know how his many
rivals would react. So far, nobody had taken any action, but the word was
spreading across school slowly.
The Chem Club, the Akane Tendo Stormtroopers, Tatewaki Kuno, Gosunkugi
Hikaru, Ryoga, all those nuisances out there waiting and ready to blow up.
Ranma thought he'd spotted Gosunkugi earlier, except that he was looking a
bit taller and carried himself rather arrogantly. Also, Ranma was surprised
Gosunkugi was in a suit. Maybe Gosunkugi was going for the suave romantic
tactic in order to win Akane over? It was hard to imagine him as anything
like that.
Kuno had rallied the forces of his kendo club, and rumor was that there
was going to be a massive ambush on Ranma at the end of the day.
However, the news of the day was when he found out that Ryoga had joined
the ranks of Furinkan High. Ranma was going through the halls when he spotted
what he thought was Ryoga. Yup, there's the bandana, the mega-smasher
umbrella, but... that was a school uniform he was wearing. Feeling that this
merrited further observation, he looked more carefully and spotted Ukyo walking
with him, yanking him in another direction whenever he seemed to be veering
off-course. They went to a schoolroom, Ryoga went in and she waved goodbye.
Ranma ran up to Ukyo and and they had a general how's-the-weather
conversation. Topics such as the-resteraunt-is-doing-great, Kodachi-is-still-
in-jail, and You-got-a-court-order-on-Shampoo-too? were idly discussed.
Finally, Ranma got to the point.
"Was that Ryoga I just saw with you?"
"Yeah. He's going to Furinkan High now."
"Really? Hope he doesn't try to kill me."
"Don't worry about it, Ranchan. He's been kinda calm about it. Sure, it
took a month for him to stop radiating ki accidentally, but he's almost
back to normal."
"What made him decide to start school?" Ranma asked.
"He said something about getting on with his life."
{Hmm} Ranma thought, {speaking of getting on with life...}
"Er... Ukyo, how are you... I mean... are you..."
Ukyo put on her best artificial smile. "C'mon, stop worrying about
me!" Suddenly she leaned on him, "or are you still interested in me?"
She tilted her head on his shoulder and batted her eyelashes.
Ranma stumbled back a bit "No! I mean... er..."
"Hey, just kidding, just kidding!" She stepped away. Deep inside Ukyo's
subconscious a voice muttered {notmarriedYETnotmarriedYET}
Then Ranma ever-so-gently, (as gently as only Ranma could) slipped in the
topic of Ukyo maybe being interested in Ryoga.
"So, Ucchan, dating Ryoga?"
*CLANG*
"Argh! Sorry! Get this spatula offa me!"
*RIP* "Whaddaya mean, me dating Ryoga?!?!?!"
"Well, hasn't he been living with you?"
"Yeah..."
"For several months?"
"So what?"
"And now he's going to the same school as you."
"Wait just a minite!"
"And I'm seeing you walking him to his classes..."
"It's his lousy sense of-"
"And you two walk together all the time, right? How romantic!" He
elbowed Ukyo a bit.
*CLANG* "IT'S HIS LOUSY SENSE OF DIRECTION, YOU IDIOT!"
"Ouch. Sorry, sorry, just teasing ya! Get this thing off me!"
*RIP*
"Seriously, Ucchan, maybe me and him don't get along, but he is a nice
guy. Really loyal. Very honorable. You should think about it."
"Yeah, right."
"By the way, Ucchan," Ranma asked, "mind if me and Akane came by
the resteraunt later? She wants to get some cooking tips from you.
PLEASE SAY YES."
"Fine, whatever." she mumbled.
"Hm?"
"Er... I said yeah, come on over!"
Walking away, Ukyo was thinking about things. "Well," she quietly said to
herself, "maybe I've lost a fiancee, but at least I've still got my best
friend." {But} she thought, {I want my fiancee back.}
{Sheesh} Ranma thought, {she's getting a little violent, kinda like
Akane used to be.}
Nearby, a potted plant stomped off angrily. After getting outside,
Tsubasa dumped his disguise and went away muttering. "Great, just great.
First Ranma, now this Ryoga guy. That's it. Time to get serious." He began
thumbing through his Mishima Heavy Industries catalogue, particularly
in the weaponry section.
-----------
Somewhere in the crowd, Gosunkugi was hammering straw dolls everywhere,
but that never worked anyways so nobody cared. Gosunkugi felt that after the
big experience he had with The Other Side maybe he ought to go back and work
on the basics again and see if he could get that right.
He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he was being watched by someting...
something that probbably felt a bit embarrased about the dolls.
-----------
A large crowd, literaly a swarm of people, were gathered in the soccer field
of Furinkan High. The Chem Club, the Archery Club, the Kendo Team, the Soccer
Team, almost every male organization that existed, were all gathered at that
field.
The Kendo Team, led by Tatewaki Kuno, was at the center of the mess.
"I tell you now that the honor of defeating that wretch Saotome shall go to
ME! Akane shall be MINE!" The team stood protectively around him, their
bokkens readied
"Hold on there, Kuno," the leader of the Sumo club rumbled, "we've got a
right to chase after Akane as well."
The leader of the Chem club looked smug. These fools may have better
strength, but their minds were vastly inferior. He smiled to himself
and patted a small remote in his pocket that was rigged to several mines
that were planted in the field just hours ago.
"You all insist upon the right to pursue Akane Tendo?" Kuno yelled. "Very
well then, we shall decide today who has the right to be in this grand pursuit!
Be warned that I shall show no mercy to those who stand between me and my true
loves!"
Quite a few people seemd a bit confused. Kuno's speeches always were a
little on the fancy side.
"FIGHT!!!" Kuno bellowed.
The swarms of students charged at each other. Bokken vs. tennis racket,
hockey stick vs. golf club, and all other sorts of mayhem broke out.
"Fools!" the chem club leader yelled, "You don't know it yet but you're
already dead! HAHAHAHA!" With a dramatic flair, he took out the remote, held
it high, and pressed the button.
Then he realized something. Him and the rest of the Chem Club were on the
field of battle too.
*****BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM*****
-----------
Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, an interesting conversation was taking place.
"Gosunkugi! Time to give up your lunch money! Get down from that
tree, you little wimp!" A gang of thugs was surrounding a tree in front of
the school, yelling at a rather skinny figure in a tree.
"You're making a mistake."
"Don't think so, geek." There was laughter in the crowd.
"I'm going to count to three."
"And then what, Gosunkugi? Gonna cry?" a rather large thug said.
"One."
"I am just _so_ scared."
"Two."
"Boys?" Everyone reached into their clothing and took out their weaponry.
"Three."
*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*
----------------
[Evening, Nekohanten]
Shampoo had held back as long as she could. No more.
She opened her weapons cabinet.
That violent Akane Tendo took her finacee. HER fiancee.
Shampoo picked up a steel mallet, examining it carefully.
Shampoo had done so much for Ranma! She cooked for Ranma, she fought
for Ranma, she even tried several mind-altering drugs on Ranma. All without
success. Did Akane do any of this? She thought not. He was so damn
inconsiderate, wasn't he? Didn't she tell him how much she loved him?
What a jerk. Of course, SHE made him into a jerk. It was all her fault,
that little BITCH.
Shampoo put down the mallet, looking unsatisfied. She picked up a wicked
looking sword. It was the same sword she used to try and kill Ranma before
she found out Ranma was a boy. Looking satisfied, she closed the weapon
cabinet and ran out the door.
"Akane, I KILL!!!"
----------
taptaptaptapthudthudthudthudSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP==SLAM==stompstompstomp
thudthudthudthudtaptaptap.......
"Mousse, what was that? Did someone open the front door?"
"I think it was Shampoo going out to kill somebody. Probbably Akane.
You think we...."
Cologne sighed. She was sure nobody would get hurt, but if Shampoo
violated that court order, they'd have to bail her out of jail. That wasn't
cheap. "Yes, Mousse, let's go stop her."
----------
[Evening, Ucchan's]
Ukyo sighed. {Patience, Girl. Take deep breaths.}
"Ukyo, are you okay?"
"Why ya asking, Akane?"
"Seems like you're having a hard time breathing. Maybe we should
take a break?"
Ukyo looked at the scene in front of her. She had tried to see where
Akane's cooking skills were by starting with something that was a little above
basic cooking, like Okonomiyaki.
There's Ukyo's okonomiyaki, nice and neat, covered evenly with sauce. And
then there's Akane's... Akane's...
No. Ukyo couldn't bear to call that monstrosity okonomiyaki. That
would be blasphemy. It was egg, flour, dead animals & vegetation, and
some really nasty looking spots all mixed into a mound. Nope, that's
not okonomiyaki. Absolutely not.
Ukyo went to something simpler, like sunny-side up egg. Akane made them.
Quite burned indeed, and the yoke was ruined. Ukyo opted for something
simpler, like scrambled egg. Didn't work. It looked just like the alleged
sunny-side up egg. She tried out sushi. How hard could raw fish be?
Akane's sushi was somehow transformed into pulpy roadkill. Her Ceasar salad
was almost right, except that the salad looked like it had been through an
industrial strength shredder.
There was one bright spot. Akane cooked a pretty decent curry.
It was rather bland, somewhat not quite right, but much more edible than
Akane's usual cooking. The most important thing was that it didn't look
toxic, it didn't taste toxic, and it wasn't hazzardous.
"Yes. A break. That would be good." Ukyo tried not to sound too
tired. It seemed to Ukyo that Akane's sense in the kitchen was every bit
as bad as Ryoga's sense on the road. If you point'em one way, they'll
veer off in an entirely different direction, totally oblivious to the
possibility of doing anything wrong until it's too late. Two hours of
intensive training wasn't having much effect. She was baffled as to
why Akane could handle curry but not salad.
Suddenly a chair sprouted arms and legs and ran towards Ukyo. "Ukyo!
Let's go out on a date!"
Calmly, Ukyo held her titanic spatula like a golf club and swatted
the chair across the room and out the door. "Damn that Tsubasa."
Tsubasa flew outside and hit a brick wall. He unsteadily got up and
examined his disguise. Not a scratch! He happily walked home, his day a
personal success already.
-----------
Ryoga was looking at his cards. {Two twos, two jacks, and a five.
Hm... two pair, not bad, not bad.}
Ranma was looking at his as well. {Er... how's this go again?}
"Hey," Ranma said, "you heard about the big fight at school?" {Stall
for time, this story should be amazing enough. Oh, I see, I've got
two tens...}
"What fight?" {Ranma is stalling. I've got him now.}
"Bunch of guys in the courtyard got beat up." {Er... A jack, a queen, two
tens, an ace... is that anything?}
"That's not unusual. By the way, I'm raising you by ten."
"You haven't heard the strange part." {Er... is two tens enough?
Yeah, sure! I mean, ten is a pretty big number, right?} "And by the
way, I'll see your ten and raise you ten more."
"Okay. What's the strange part?"
"They say it was Gosunkugi that beat them up."
Ryoga looked puzzled. "Gosunkugi? That's the skinny guy that got
sick eating Akane's lunch once, right?"
"That's the one."
"The one that has a bunch of paper dolls?"
"Yup."
"Him?"
"They swear it was him."
---------------
Somewhere in the city Gosunkugi was running for his life. A large mob of
angry thugs was chasing him through alleyways and streets.
"This time we'll beat the hell outta ya! Come back here ya geek!"
Gosunkugi raced on. He wasn't going to face this bunch. Hell no. Time to
run like a maniac, all the while muttering "why me why me why me why me why?"
"Hey," one thug asked, "wasn't he a little less cowardly this afternoon?"
---------------
Ryoga was briefly distracted by the television news broadcast.
"NEWS BULLETIN: Rampaging pig injures 12, causes massive property dammage.
Film at 11."
He went to the television and turned it off.
***
"I'll go see if the boys want anything, " Akane said, walking across
the resteraunt, to where Ryoga and Ranma were playing cards.
"Hey guys, you want anything to snack on?"
"No, thanks Akane." Ryoga quietly said, looking away.
"Are _you_ cooking?" Ranma asked, suspicously.
*THUD*
"Hey, I was just joking!" Ranma said, covering the spot on his side
where Akane elbowed him.
***
"Ranma still insulting you, Akane?"
"Yeah," she replied, "sometimes he's still such a jerk..."
In the distance, an exlosion rumbled. Nobody noticed.
***
Meanwhile, Ryoga was getting ticked off at Ranma. "Hey you jerk!
You're engaged to her now! Start showing some respect!"
"C'mon, Ryoga, me and Akane were just playin' around. She didn't boot
me through the roof, did she?"
"You're still a jerk. I'd kill you, but I don't think Akane would
like that. Understand?"
Ranma sighed. {Looks like some things never end. Me and Pig-boy'll
probbably be picking on each other for years} Then Ranma noticed something
that Ryoga was wearing around his neck.
"Hey, what's that?" He pointed at it.
"Compass. Ukyo gave it to me."
"Is that so? Say, have you been walking with her to school lately?"
Ryoga blushed. "Well, yeah, but..."
"Hey! Great! You two will make a great couple! My rival and my best
friend dating each other! Take good care of 'er, pal!"
"Huh?" Ryoga was puzzled.
"Come on now, you've been living with her for several months now, you
sly PIG. She gave you a cute little compass, you help her around the store,
you even walk together everywhere! Gosh Ryoga, I didn't know you were such
a romatic!"
*WHAP* "mmrrrfff?"
"Listen up Saotome, okay? We walk togeter 'cause..." Ryoga winced: He
hated admitting his weaknesses to RANMA, "of my lousy sense of direction.
The compass was just a gift to help out with that little problem. She
walks with me at school _just_ because of my... directional problem. I'm
staying here because I'd feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable staying..." he glanced
at Akane, "where I used to stay. Got it?"
Ranma finally spit out the umbrella that was rammed into his mouth.
"Hey, hey, just kidding! No need to overreact, okay?"
"Whatever." Ryoga narrowed his eyes. It'd been a while since they
got into a fight. He could easily see one starting now.
"Fine. Gimmie one of those bandanas, will ya? P-Chan lost his."
"That isn't funny, Saotome."
"I went to a pet store," Ranma said in a low voice, "and bought a
small black pig. Get it? All I need is a bandana."
The sound of an explosion, like a wall falling down, sounded
off in the distance. It wasn't made by anyone in the store.
*WHAP* "Mrgmph!" Ranma yanked the bandana out of his mouth.
"Whatcha do that for?!?!"
"I guess I just missed beating you up. Been a while, eh?"
"Why you..." Ranma muttered.
***
Akane and Ukyo were busy gossiping.
"Hey, I'm seeing you and Ryoga together alot lately. Are you two..."
"What? Me? And that idiot! Absolutely not!" Ukyo said, not aware that
her blushing was easily seen. "He gets lost bringing food to the customers!
Look at this room Akane! No walls between seats, the tables are simple,
how on earth can a guy get lost in here!"
{She's really acting strange} thougth Akane, {Ukyo's usually not this angry.
That's usually... usually... me}
"Gotta admit thought, it's nice to get someone else to do the dishwork.
And did you know how strong that guy is? When I gotta clean under the
heavy equipment, Ryoga's useful. Despite his stupidity, he's a nice guy.
He has his moments."
"Don't tell me you didn't even think about it?"
"About what? Me and him?"
"Admit it, he is kinda cute."
{Then why the heck don't you marry HIM?} Ukyo thought. And then she thought
about Ryoga. "Well," Ukyo said, "those fangs are kinda charming. And he does
look cute when he's totally confused. But he's no Ranma..." Ukyo became
distraced when she noticed Ryoga pounding a bandana into Ranma's mouth.
"Damn. Akane? Excuse me a moment." Ukyo stomped off in Ryoga's direction.
"Hey, Ukyo? What's going on?" Akane was worried. She hoped that the
conversation didn't make Ukyo feel uncomfortable. Akane followed close behind
as Ukyo walked towards the boys.
***
*CLANG* "STOP PICKING ON RANCHAN!" Ukyo yelled.
"OW!!! Stop doing that!" Ryoga stood up and turned around. "Dammit,
you violent maniac, put that thing away!"
{Wow} Ranma thought {_this_ scene is really familiar} He sat back.
{This could be interesting}
{Haven't I seen this done before?} Akane thought.
taptaptaptapthudthudthudthudstompstompstomp**BOOM**
Suddenly, the front door of Ucchan's was reduced to splinters. Everyone
looked at the remains of the door. and who was standing in it: Shampoo.
"Akane..." Shampoo said, shaking in anger, "I KILL!!!" Ranma got up
from his seat only to be hit by a thrown bonbori in the face. Ukyo removed
her spatula from Ryoga's head and charged at Shampoo. She swung at
Shampoos midsection, hitting nothing. Shampoo swung her sword at
Ukyo's spatula, slicing the handle in half. Ukyo was stunned. {Oh shoot,
she's really mad.} Shampoo raised her sword again.
"Not nice girl get out of way."
Ukyo couldn't let anyone die, even the person that stole Ranma from her.
"Shampoo, don't do this." She reached for her mini-spatula.
"Get out of way. I kill Akane NOW!" Shampoo reared back with her sword.
"NOOOO!!!" Ryoga roared. He yanked the bonbori from Ranma's face
and threw it at Shampoo's face. The weapon hit hard, knocking
Shampoo out cold. "Hey, Akane, Ukyo, you okay?"
Ukyo was shaken. She'd never seen Shampoo that mad before. "Yeah,
I'm fine. You didn't have to help, y'know."
"Oh, excuse me! I just rescued you, y'know."
"Rescued???"
"Akane, are you alright?" Ryoga anxiously went up to her.
Cologne and Mousse walked in. "I see we were too late to prevent
property damage. I offer my sincere apologies. Shampoo will pay for
the door."
Mousse saw Shampoo lying unconscious on the floor. "SHAMPOO! Speak
to me! Wake up!"
Cologne observed the beaten Shampoo. "What happened to my
great-granddaughter?"
"She was about to kill Ukyo. I threw a bonbori at her and knocked
her out." Ryoga said. "Sorry about that, Mousse. We couldn't
stop her any other way."
"I could've stopped her" Ukyo muttered to herself.
Cologne narrowed her eyes. She examined Ryoga carefully. "So, you
defeated my Shampoo?" Mousse looked up with an oh-no-not-again
expression on his face. Akane and Ukyo began to realize what
Cologne would probbably say next. Ryoga was clueless. Ranma
was unconscious.
"Son-in-law." Cologne said.
At those words, Ranma snapped his eyes open. "YAAAGH! OLD GHOUL!"
*WHAP* Cologne removed her stick from Ranma's head. "Not you.
Not at the moment, anyways. I'm talking to him." She pointed to Ryoga.
"ME?" Ryoga was angered. "Just you wait a minute, dammit!"
Ryoga looked anxiously at Mousse and Ranma, as if looking for help.
Ranma was just watching Ryoga panic as if it was a tv show. {This}
he thought, {is definitely entertaining} Mousse was beginning to look
murderous.
"Ranma you BASTARD! This is all your fault!" Ryoga was furious.
"What's the matter with you? She was gonna kill Akane! Where the
heck were you?!?"
"She took me by surprise, okay? Back off Ryoga!" Ranma didn't like
this one bit. Ryoga was making him look bad in front of his fiancee,
HIS fiancee. And Ranma's face was still hurting.
"See what I mean? What's with letting your fighting skills slip
like that? If _I_ wasn't here, who knows what might have happened!"
*WHAM* "Hey stupid, what about me?" Ukyo was red with
anger. "It's not like I can't fight without my spatula, y'know!"
Cologne went to Shampoo and woke her up. "Shampoo. Wake up. Say hello
to your latest future husband."
Shampoo sat up quickly and hugged the nearest thing: Mousse. "Oh Ranma!
Shampoo so happy!" She stopped and looked at who she was hugging.
*WHAM* "STUPID MOUSSE!"
"Shampoo, you shall marry Ryoga and take over the Amazon tribe." Colonge
looked Ryoga over. {Not bad... very strong, a good fighter indeed. Yes,
he shall have to do. Rather him than Mousse.}
Mousse was furious. "Wait! That's not fair! He doesn't love Shampoo!
I do! I should be th-"
"You fool, you have yet to defeat her in combat! You know the rules."
"Shampoo no want stupid Ryoga! Shampoo want Ranma!"
"How about it sonny-boy? Come on, don't tell me you don't find Shampoo
attractive?" Cologne asked Ranma.
"That's alright. Ryoga can have her."
"RANMA YOU BASTARD!!!" Ryoga stomped on Ranma's foot.
"We had best leave before overstaying our welcome, yes?" Cologne was
thinking of the court order. She was grateful that nobody called the police
yet.
Shampoo gave Ryoga an angry glare. Mousse recognized that stare. It
was a stare he was subjected to hundreds of times before, and Ranma once
before. At that moment, Shampoo _really_ didn't like Ryoga.
It was clear to Mousse that Ryoga was not a direct rival for Shampoo's
heart, it was just stupid Amazon law getting in the way. He sighed. {I guess
there's no other options left. I'm gonna either have to beat up Shampoo or
kill that old ghoul.}
Ranma was thinking of the implications. {Hm... Ukyo _might_ have
a thing for Ryoga, and now he's engaged to Shampoo. Well, that's two
problems off my back!}
Shampoo had other ideas. {Shampoo engaged to Ranma first! No marry
Ryoga!} Then she remembered her original plan. {Shampoo almost forget!
Kill Akane!} "Aiy-Yaah!" She leapt for Akane's throat...
-----------
[Later]
Kodachi was in a foul mood. For some strange reason, nobody was
home to pick up the phone. Nobody could bail her out. And Ranma
seemed to be out of the house all the time too. Curse this day!
The local authorities just didn't understand, she was on a task too
important to be interrupted! So what if the plan involved the death of Akane
Tendo? She was in the way. Kodachi was determined to capture her Ranma's
heart, even if it meant chemicals and handcuffs. Restraining orders be
damned!
The cell she occupied was empty, which was a relief for Kodachi. She
would refuse to be locked up with common criminals and peasants. Then
her cell door opened.
"YOU!" Kodachi yelled. {It's the ramen wench!}
"Aiy-yah! You!" Shampoo yelled. {She crazy psycho girl!}
Kodachi bellowed for the guards "I will not stay in the same cell as
this lowly waitress peasant! Remove her at once!"
"What you talking about, stupid girl! You get out of Shampoo's cell!"
They looked at each other, battle auras flaring brightly.
Two hours later the riot squad managed to stop the fight.
-------------
[The next day]
Ranma was _mad_. {That jerk Ryoga, makin' me look bad like that.
It ain't my fault Shampoo surprised me. Damn Pig.} He sat by the pond,
fuming.
Leaning on his back was Akane. "C'mon, don't feel bad about it.
Ryoga's just really protective about his friends, that's all. I'm
sure he didn't mean to be so hard on you."
{Revenge, you dirty little pig. Ah... I got it!}
Ranma jumped into the pool, getting instant Ranma-chan.
With an evil grin she bounded away. "Be back in a while, Akane!"
------------
Tatewaki Kuno sat in the front of his abode, enjoying the weather and
comtemplating a most important decision. He closed his eyes deep in thought.
Then he opened them suddenly. "I shall have them both!" he yelled. He quickly
picked up a cellular phone and dialed. "Hello? Yes, I would like to have an
order of beefbowl and vegetable stir fry delivered. Yes, this is the Kuno
residence again. Thirty minutes you say! The Gods themselves would protest
in waiting at such length!"
"Hey! Kuno! Anybody home!"
Tatewaki Kuno knew _that_ voice. "Hello? Very well, I shall wait 30
minutes. Good day." He hung up the phone and looked around. "Pig-Tailed
Goddess! My love!" Kuno rushed to her, arms outstretched. *WHACK*
"Oh good, you're here." She removed her elbow from his face and
ran out into the street.
"Ah, she had spoken of me with approval! I shall win her heart
yet! WAIT FOR ME MY LOVE!!!" Kuno happily raced after his heart's desire.
"Neither the ravages of time nor the boundless stretches of space shall
come between us! Tis no mountain high enough, nor any valley low enough!
Pig-tailed girl, I love youuuuuuu!!"
-----------
Ryoga was sweeping the front of Ucchan's. He took a deep breath. The
mornings were getting cooler, the air more enjoyable. He closed his eyes and
relaxed.
Then something glomped him.
He opened his eyes to see Ranma-chan giving him a big bear-hug. "Hey, what
the hell are you doing!" Ryoga yelled.
Ranma-chan looked up to him, evil smile included. "Ryoga, my MASTER, my
DARLING!" she yelled, loudly.
"Yaaah! You pervert! Get offa me!" Ryoga was now not only pissed, but
sickened. He elbow-smashed her off.
"Heheheh, gotcha." Ranma-chan muttered.
"Ranma, what are you up to?" Ryoga said, grabbing her by the collar.
"YOU! Ceace thy vile activities now! So commands Blue Thunder!" Kuno
roared.
Ryoga let go of Ranma, looking angrily at Kuno. "What do YOU want."
"I had seen what barbarian actions you had committed against this
helpless beauty! How dare you even touch her!" Kuno raised his bokken.
"Worthless dog! I had always known you were a low sort, Hibiki, and
now I know why you frequently were in the company of that vile sorcerer
Saotome! You had learned the black arts from that unholy enchanter
and used what thou had learned to enslave the pig-tailed girl!"
"Hey, wait just one moment!"
"SILENCE, FIEND! I had seen with MINE OWN EYES this innocent lass
proclaim her affections to you! See?" He pointed his bokken at Ranma, a
dramatic look on his face. "She smiles at you even now, after you dare strike
at her! Stand aside, lovely goddes, I shall smite this wretched infidel!"
Kuno charged.
"Ranmaaaa... I'll get you for this..." Ryoga muttered.
Ranma looked at him with big girly-eyes and said, "Hey, hold this" and
threw something at Ryoga, who caught it one-handed.
"What the.... a watermelon?"
Silently, Ranma shoved Ryoga towards the charging Kuno....
"HIBIKI, DIE!" *whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*
*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*
*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*whack*
"There, ya jerk," Ranma said, "now we're even."
---------------
The various warring tribes of Furinkan had finally reached an agreement.
The quest to dispose of Ranma, everyone agreed, was a worthy one. The problem
was overcrowding on the battlefield.
The solution?
There was a knock on the Tendo household. Ranma opened the door, but nobody
was there. Just before he closed it, he noticed a piece of paper taped to the
door. "What's this?" he said to himself.
***
FURINKAN HIGH SCHOOL CLUB ASSOCIATION:
PROJECT "FREE AKANE" ROTATION SCHEDULE
======================================
Attacks to be held every Tuesday and Thursday
Tenative schedule for October
1st week: Kendo Club / Chem Club
2nd week: Football Team / Tennis Team
3rd week: Homemaking Club / Sumo Team
***
"They have _got_ to be kidding." Ranma muttered.
---------------
Kodachi smiled.
She'd finally been released from that horrid jail today, and while
she was stuck there, she was busy thinking about a possible formula
blend from some exotic plants that would ensure her everlasting
happiness.
She'd gotten an extract from Sasuke, who had obtained a sample
of the item when doing surveilance on the Tendos. Apparently, Akane
had accidentally swallowed a "fall in love" pill while at the beach, but
managed to spit it out into the ocean. Luckily, an underwater Sasuke was
there to catch it.
Kodachi's first analasys of the drug impressed her. Very interesting
blend of chemicals, and she felt replication should be possible. Maybe
she could even improve on the original formula. In her lab, she had worked
hard to break down the substance and copy its properties. The result of her
labor was now in a small vial which she held up to the light.
She put the vial down and went to a room full of wigs, makeup, and
clothing. "What to wear, what to wear...." She knew that the risk of being
spotted by one of the Tendo family was high, and appearing before the Tendos
again might land her back in jail, so she decided on going in disguise. "Ah,
I know just the thing!" She pulled together various items. {The plan was
perfect} she thought, {and ironic too. Wearing the guise of one of my most
hated rivals!}
Kodachi, in her disguise, held up a vial of clear liquid, and let
loose the patented Kodachi-laugh.
"Ohhohohohohoho! Ranma darling, you're MINE."
------
Ryoga was angry. Furious. Really pissed off. "How dare he!"
Ryoga yelled, "How dare he do this to me! Saotome, I will get revenge!"
Ryoga took a walk to calm himself down, but realized this was a bad idea too
late. He was already lost. It was a school day tommorrow. It would probbably
take several days for him to make it back to Ucchan's. Then he heard someone
happily humming down the street.
Ryoga turned around to see who was approaching.
A girl.
Red hair.
Pig-tail.
Red Chinese outfit.
RANMA.
Looking at some little glass container, too....
Ryoga hid behind a corner and waited for her to come by. As she
walked past, he lunged out and grabbed her one-handed by the neck.
"Gotcha, you bastard."
"ack"
"Oh, what's this? Looks like a potion or something. You were gonna
play another little joke on me, eh?"
"ack" she said. There's not much you can say when you're
being choked.
"Well. Ha ha." He took the container, opened it, and forced the contents
into her mouth. "C'mon, swallow!" He kept one hand over her mouth and hit
her in the stomach.
*gulp*
He tossed her on the floor. "I've given up on my vendetta against you.
I just want to get on with my life, alright? See you later." Ryoag walked
away. "Now to find a pay phone..."
The girl was extremely, incredibly, hazzardously, unbelieveably _mad_.
She glared at Ryoga as she fixed her clothing. {HOW DARE HE! HOW DARE
HE! HIBIKI SHALL DIE SLOWLY FOR THAT! SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY! DIE DIE DI-}
The potion finally hit.
"Daaaarling," She purrred, as she looked at the figure in the distance,
tilted her head to one side, and grinned madly. She giggled uncontrollably
and raced towards him.
Ryoga felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around. Kodachi, still
in her disguise, glomped onto him and gave him a _very_ deep and _very_
long kiss. Her hands traveled across Ryoga's back and sides. While she was
doing all of this, Kodachi decided to get two handfulls of Ryoga rear end.
Ryoga's brain was shorted out. He was blindsided, so he had no idea who
was doing this. He focused his eyes on the person.
It was a girl.
{Good.}
This was his first intense physical contact with the opposite sex, and at
the moment it was... gooood. Great. Niiice. Unfortunately, Ryoga's brain
finallly snapped back into it's standard operating system and had a good look
at exactly _who_ was kissing him.
Read hair.
{I prefer brunetttes, but red isn't bad.}
Chinese outfit.
{She wears it well.}
Pigtail....
{Wait... no... something's wrong... _oh_no_}
_Deep_ within Ryoga's soul, he screamed in horror.
He turned _very_ pale.
She finally disengaged from the kiss, nibbled his ear a bit, and looked at
Ryoga with red-hot passion in her eyes.
Ryoga stumbled back, holding his throat, spitting everywhere, and
wiped his mouth alot. "RANMA! HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?!?!?!?!" He yelled.
Then he noticed _how_ she was looking at him.
"Darling? Something wrong?" she said, in a sultry low voice.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!"
Ryoga ran off into the sunset with Kodachi not far behind.
- end part 2 -