Ranma Lemon .05 Vol 2 Part 4 [Lemon][FanFic]

[Lee Ginther]

Ranma .05 :Vol 2, Part 4
The Best of Times

*** Warning: Forewarned is forearmed; there are scenes of explicit sex and
bad jokes that have managed to work their way out of the author's demented
sub-conscious and into this fan-fic. If you find such disgusting filth
repugnant; you should read more to desensitize yourself to it.***

Credits:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Produced by: Horde O' Hentai Productions, Literature Division
Darren Demaine: Chairman of the Horde, President for Life
(Chance of parole in 20 years)
Lee (Grey Wolf): Pun Minister, Guy We Rub For Luck
Rob (Barbarian): P.U. Officer, Breath Weapon Specialist
Craig: Minister of Foreign Affairs (Until we caught him at it)
Series Concept: Darren Demaine
Written by: Darren Demaine (Jean's Mechanical Engineer teacher;
Costume Designer: Kekko Kamen;
Voice actor: Video Girl Pai, 3X3 Heads)
Based on the works of someone, who is no doubt, in the process of hunting me
down to terminate me: Takahashi Rumiko-no-megamisama

Glossary
Tokyo Shuffle: Involves rapid moment of arms and legs until a
blurring of the limbs occur. Method of transportation favoured by SD
characters, Hinako-sensei-chan, and Video Girls on fast-forward.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Ya know, I don't see how my life could possibly get any better."
Both Hiroshi and Daisaku looked up from their lunches to stare at
Ranma.
"Are you serious Ranma?" Daisuke asked.
Between bites of his bento, Ranma continued. "Hey, for me, this has
been a great week. First of all, I haven't seen that sicko Kuno for two
weeks now." He grimaced for a moment, "Sure it cost me a pretty penny to
guarantee Kuno's absence, but I have to admit, it's a great feeling having
him gone." He paused to scarf down a mouthful.
"I've finally got caught up with the homework Hinako-sensei gave me."
Hiroshi looked over at him. "Didn't she give you that assignment three
weeks ago?"
"Yeah, but I had a good excuse; Akane's pet pig ate the assignment."
"He did?" Daisuke asked; Ranma shrugged.
"He needed a little help getting it into his mouth, but after that, it
slid down nicely."
Taking a sip, Hiroshi glanced behind him at the cluster of girls
giggling at the other side of the room. "If you're so happy, you must be
having some luck with Akane."
Ranma paused, then hunched over and talked into his lunch.
"Well...yeah...something did happen-"
He got no further as Hiroshi and Daisuke leaned in and crowded him.
"Yes?? Yes??"
Gulping, Ranma stuttered out, "I-I...I talked her out of making me lunch
this week."
Both guys leaned back into their seats; Hiroshi with a questioning look
on his face. "She can't be that bad of a cook...what are her marks in Home
Ec?"
"Don't know," Daisuke replied. "For some reason the sensei in that
course keeps taking sick leave."
"Also," Ranma continued, "I never realized how good it was to be broke."
"Being broke is good?" Hiroshi asked.
"Keeps Nabiki from bothering me," Ranma replied. Holding his chop-
sticks in his mouth, Ranma leaned back and stretched. "All things
considered, I feel as if nothing could possibly go wrong."
No sooner were those words out of his mouth then the wall behind him
started to rumble. A rhythmic rumbling that quickly changed into a crash as
the wall blew inwards; spraying the class with cement as they dived for
cover. Through the smoke, a cute figure bubbling forth happiness bounced in.
"Nihao, Ranma!!" the purple-haired beauty said, a smile of pure self-
assured joy radiating from her features, a Neko-han soup-case in her hand.
"Shampoo!" Akane gasped, none too pleased to see her; a sentiment
apparently shared by Ranma, judging by the look on his face. A sentiment,
apparently not shared by the other males in the class, judging by their
expressions.
"What are you doing here?" Ranma asked, already knowing the answer,
hoping it wasn't that.
"Wife make lunch! It important for martial artist to keep up
strength."
She slid open the box and placed a bowl before Ranma. Removing the chop-
sticks from Ranma's mouth, she picked up a bite and held it before his
face.
"Say Ahhh."
Ranma looked at the food for a second, his stomach in the process of
overriding his brain. A moment later, his gaze travelled from the delicious
food before him to Akane's angry face. Torn between two choices, Ranma
actually managed to get himself out of the situation without too much
pain.
Taking the chop-sticks from Shampoo's hands, he began to stuff his own face;
busy eating, he avoided Akane's gaze.
Her arms crossed over her chest, Akane walked over to the Chinese
girl.
Trying to sound snide, she said, "Really Shampoo, don't you think that you're
being a little too forward?"
Shampoo smiled at Akane with eyes half-closed. One hand resting on the
soup-case, she replied, "Ranma need this from Shampoo. After all, he not
getting any from Akane."
While Akane spent several moments twitching uncontrollably in reaction,
Shampoo returned her attention to Ranma. "Pay back lunch by taking Shampoo
out on date!"
Ranma opened his mouth to reply; but before he could clear away the food
present there, a soft, mocking chuckle echoed through the room.
Swinging his head around, Ranma looked for the source of the
amusement.
Seeing no one, he turned back to face Shampoo; then, for some reason, he
searched the inside of his own food bowl. Why he did this was unknown, as
Mousse, the owner of the laughter, was clearly standing on the top of Ranma's
head by this point.
Pointing his finger at Daisuke, Mousse laughed out loud. "Your time has
finally come! At last I will free my beloved Shampoo from your clutches!!"
Daisuke turned to Hiroshi, "I didn't know she was my girl," he said,
deadpan.
"You lucky dog you," Hiroshi replied, still eating.
Mousse kneeled down on Ranma's head and pulled his glasses down to his
eyes. "You're not Saotome! Where is he hiding?!"
While this was happening, Shampoo took her soup-case by the handle, set
herself, then bashed Mousse off Ranma's head.
"Mousse ruin Ranma's lunch. And after Shampoo spend so much time
working it. Mousse no baka."
Finally pulling his face from his own lunch, Ranma turned to face the
Chinese martial artist. "What was that for, you blind twit?" Pulling
himself to his feet, Mousse slipped his hands into his sleeves and chuckled.
"Saotome...for too long have you held the hearts of too many women
captive."
"Quite right," Daisuke agreed.
"No argument here," Hiroshi nodded; the other boys in the class all
muttered agreement.
"Saotome, for the heart of my lovely Shampoo, I challenge you to fight
me!" Ranma flicked the last of the food off his face while the girls of the
class gasped in appreciation of a fight for love.
"Let's see what you got, Mousse!" With a kiya shout, Mousse charged
forwards, Ranma set himself to receive.
The door to the classroom crashed open, and a small figure leaned
in.
"Oohh...I sense fighting spirits! Are there delinquents in this room?"
Ranma quickly jumped into a far corner, while the regulars of the class
all speedily cleared a path between Hinako-sensei-chan and the two fighters.
"Begone child!" Mousse shouted. "I am here to fight for my beloved; I
will let no one stand in my way!" Her limbs blurring, Hinako-sensei Tokyo
Shuffled over to him and around.
"Oohh...you are a bad boy! How dare you talk to your elder that
way!
Get back to your class this instant, or else I'll become very upset with
you!" She said, looking about as threatening as a twelve-year old on a sugar
fix.
Mousse turned his head away, arrogantly. "I don't go to school! My
life is devoted to the service of my lovely Shampoo!"
Hinako-sensei managed to look even cuter as she got angrier. "Oohh..."
she began, her limbs waving even faster. "Not only are you a delinquent, but
you're playing hooky as well!" Her limbs stopped suddenly, and she had a
coin in her right hand.
"Happo-Go-Ju-En-Satsu!" With those words, tendrils of glowing energy
flowed from Mousse and through the coin. As the Chinese boy collapsed to the
floor, Hinako-sensei-san tossed her hair over one shoulder, and the boys in
the class drooled. "Don't disrupt my class anymore," she continued, in a
MUCH more throaty voice. "Everyone, lunch is over. Return to your seats."
"Saotome..." Mousse groaned, a wisp of his former self. "This is...not
over yet...meet me to fight...after school..."
Shampoo looked down at the thin figure on the floor. "Poor Mousse; can
not leave on floor. Shampoo take good care of you." Mousse looked up; tears
moistening his eyes.
Shampoo picked up Mousse in her arms, walked to the window, opened it,
held Mousse outside, and let go. Humming to herself, she closed the
window.
"Ah...Shampoo," Akane said hesitantly; "This is the third floor."
"Shampoo know," she replied with a bright smile.

* * *

After school, the crowds gathered at the Furinkan soccer field; a place
of so much violence...none of it, surprisingly, due to British soccer fans.
The field was still slightly damp from last night's rain shower, with
wet puddles of mud present. At one end, Mousse stood in a pose of calm
relaxation, his hands in his sleeves, the winds gently blowing his robes
around his ankles. At the other end, Ranma stood; unable to relax despite
the fact that Shampoo was giving his shoulder muscles a warm-up rub.
Or maybe that was why he couldn't relax.
"Shampoo so happy Ranma fight for her! It show who he truly care
for."
She said loud enough for Akane to hear from her position. The Tendo girl
just snorted and turned away.
"Saotome!!" Mousse shouted, "It is finally time for me to release
Shampoo from your clutches! These arms that will be used to destroy you will
soon hold her tenderly!"
"Give it a rest!" Ranma yelled back. "Like I've told you before, any
time you want her, she's you-" He didn't get any further because Shampoo had
suddenly sunk her nails into his back.
"No talk silly talk Ranma. Of course Ranma fight for Shampoo! And
Ranma win like water off Mousse's back."
"I do expect the best from you, future son-in-law," a small troll on a
stick said, right next to Ranma's shoulder.
Ranma did a four foot jump, shivering the whole time. "Where did you
come from, you old ghoul?" The matriarch of the amazon tribe just smiled.
"When Mousse didn't show up for work this week, I knew he had something
planned." She turned to face the other figure. "Hurry up and lose
Mousse!
You're suppose to clean out the ovens today, and I've got your toothbrush all
ready for the job!"
Mousse uttered a soft, dry chuckle. "I will have other things to do
tonight, you old dried up prune. Tonight I will celebrate my victory over
Saotome!" With that, Mousse crouched down and started to sprint towards
Ranma. Shampoo and Cologne moved off the field onto the sides with the other
spectators.
Ranma held his ground, then dodged aside as Mousse launched several
attacks at him. Sidestepping a fist-kick combination, Ranma twisted away
from a thrown six-pack attack. Leaping into the air, he evaded a chain-
attached dishwasher, then began his own onslaught.
Not using any special moves, Ranma threw several jabs at Mousse, then
followed up with a kicking combination. Dodging around the blows, Mousse
blocked some with a garbage can lid. The two fighters spent several moments
locked in close-quarters combat, each unable to get a clear advantage.
Finally Ranma tried a leg sweep; Mousse leapt above it and back-flipped
away.
Landing, he paused and began to chuckle again.
"It is time to end this confrontation and claim what I truly long
for!"
Mousse again began to sprint forwards; Ranma set himself once more.
Suddenly, Mousse slammed to a halt right in front of Ranma, and crossed his
right arm to his left shoulder.
"Yakemasu Ken Handan Shimasu!!" With a sudden motion, he snapped his
right forearm outwards like a reverse hook, from left to right; the whole
strike moving so fast, that only a blur could be seen.
Despite the speed of the movement Ranma pulled his head back in
time, so
Mousse's fist just failed to graze his nose. Ranma stepped forwards to
deliver his counterstrike...suddenly, he was coughing and choking.
Unable to
breathe, he stumbled.
Taking advantage of that moment, Mousse nailed Ranma across the side of
the head with a Native North American West Coast Totem Pole. Ranma went to
the muddy ground heavily.
"Ranma!!" Akane shouted. All around the field the spectators gasped in
surprise, and large amounts of money changed hands.
"Hibachan!! What Mousse do?!" Shampoo asked her great-grandmother,
concerned.
The old woman had narrowed her eyes and stared at the smirking Mousse
closely. "It appears, granddaughter, that Mousse has learned the technique
of 'burning fist that delivers justice.'"
"'Yakemasu Ken Handan Shimasu?'" Akane repeated, stunned. "But...but
Mousse didn't even touch him!"
"The burning fist is an ancient technique developed for law enforcement
in China long ago," the old twig on a stick continued. "It's secret is that
the fist travels so fast, friction heats up the air it travels through. If
done in front of the face, the person breaths in the hot gases, and it sears
the lungs. Unable to breathe, the criminal can not fight and is easily
captured for trial."
Akane turned back to the field just as Ranma regained his feet, a snarl
on his face. "Can Ranma beat such a technique?"
"Kashu Tenshin Amaguriken!"
"Yakemasu Ken Handan Shimasu!"
The single crosswise fist passed 100+ thrown punches. Halfway through
his strike, Ranma began to cough. His rhythm thrown off, the Amaguriken
faltered and Mousse used that opportunity to launch a racoon-dog on a leash
at Ranma's face. The animal landed claws first and raked Ranma's face before
he fell to the ground and the creature bounded away.
"Ranma!!" Akane shouted, starting to run to him. She was fastest off
the start, but Shampoo was a little faster on the sprint. Elbowing the Tendo
girl aside, Shampoo hugged Ranma while Akane, knocked off balance, ended up
kissing not dirt, but mud.
"Oh Ranma! Does it hurt?" Shampoo asked, hugging him tightly. With
the claw marks on his face, Ranma looked as if he'd been busy French kissing
a rotary belt sander.
Mousse laughed. "You have met your match Saotome! Give up your claim
on Shampoo and I won't humiliate you any more."
Ranma growled and forced himself to his feet. Still clinging to him,
Shampoo stuck her tongue out at Mousse. "Bttthhh! Ranma just getting warmed
up! Soon he beat Mousse and take Shampoo to date as prize!"
Akane, plastered by mud, finally managed to get to her feet. She looked
up at Shampoo hugging Ranma, and began to shake with anger. No one bothered
to pay her any attention.
Disengaging Shampoo from him, Ranma wiped sweat off his face. "This
isn't over yet Mousse!" Taking a deep gulp of air, Ranma held his breath and
charged in. Launching several attacks, he struck rapidly. Bidding his time,
Mousse retreated; forcing Ranma to keep moving and launch even more attacks
as none of his original strikes hit.
As more time passed, Ranma's attacks got slower and slower as his face
turned red, then blue. Finally, his lungs on fire, Ranma had to take another
breath. The moment he sucked in air, Mousse was there with the Yakemasu Ken
Handan Shimasu. Taking in burning air only added to the fire in his chest,
and Ranma staggered. Unable to get enough energy, he failed to dodge and got
creamed by Mousse using a Buick Roadmaster attached to a chain.
The force of the impact threw Ranma into the air. "At last!" Mousse
shouted, tears of joy running down his face. "Shampoo is finally mine!"
Unable to help himself, he hugged her to his chest tightly.
"Uh...this is all so sudden," Gosunkugi said from Mousse's arms.
With a loud splash, Ranma landed in the pool. "Ai-yah! Shampoo save
Ranma!" Without a pause, Shampoo ran past Mousse and up the embankment; she
jumped into the water to save her man.
For a moment, there was an unearthly calm. Then, the water began to
churn and froth. Suddenly, Ranma-chan shot out of the water with a wet cat
clinging to the back of her head.
"AAAAAAA!!" screamed the red-head, who broke several land-speed records
trying to get away from the cat. Cologne eventually stopped the mad rush by
holding her staff out and clothes-lining Ranma-chan to unconsciousness.
As the last of the money exchanged hands, the spectators began to wander
off; only Akane and a few of Ranma's friends stayed. Neko-Shampoo pawed the
knocked out Ranma and meowed, concerned.
Mousse came over, and Shampoo raised her hackles and hissed at him. "I
have defeated Saotome! No one stands in the way of my marriage to Shampoo!"
Cologne nodded. "No one stands in your way; only the law that you must
defeat her first. And the fact you've been negligent in your duties at the
Neko-han this past week."
"But, I had to have time to learn this technique!"
"No buts. The ovens and toilets await." Mousse leaned in closer to
Cologne and stared at her intensely for a moment.
"Since when could you talk, P-Chan?"
Cologne bashed him into the stratosphere.

* * *

A few minutes later, a once again human Shampoo was hugging
Ranma-chan.
"Don't worry, Shampoo know Ranma defeat that bad Mousse and reclaim Shampoo's
heart!"
Ignoring her (or at least trying to), Ranma looked up at Cologne.
"Bachan! I have to know, is there any way to defeat that 'burning fist?'"
The old woman looked down at her son/daughter-in-law closely. "Is
victory over Mousse that important to you?" Akane, still trying to clean the
mud off herself, heard that and turned her head away.
Getting to her feet, Ranma tossed her head. "No way is that blind fool
going to get the best of Saotome Ranma! I don't care what it takes, I'm
going to beat him!"
Shampoo squealed with joy. "Oh Ranma! You do care for Shampoo!!"
Akane reached in and grabbed Ranma by her pony-tail. Pulling her from
Shampoo's grasp, she leaned in and whispered in an annoyed voice, "What are
you doing, Ranma? This is the opportunity to finally have Shampoo off your
back! Who cares if Mousse beats you once?"
"What you talk about, Akane?" Shampoo said, overhearing the
exchange.
"Ranma love Shampoo! He beat up Mousse for her!"
"That's right!" Ranma replied, not really listening closely enough. "I
can't let it end this way!"
WHACK!
While Akane stormed away, Daisuke looked at the hand-print on Ranma's
face. "That's going to sting come the morning."
"So future son-in-law," Cologne began. "To truly defeat the 'fists of
justice,' you must master another set of special skills. Ones that brought
down the law enforcers in China long ago."
Finally recovered, Ranma-chan looked at the troll. "Tell me all about
it."
"Long ago, there were divers along the coast of China. These hard-
working men fished the giant oysters off the continental shelf. To claim the
huge pearls that were the prize, these fishermen would have to engage the
giant oysters in vicious combat; underwater. It was these men who developed
the special techniques and skills of...Aqua-ido. Underwater martial arts."
"Aquaido?" Ranma repeated. "How did a bunch of fishermen beat these
'flaming fist' cops?"
"When the law enforcers came to their town," the old lady continued,
"They attempted to arrest a fisherman on charges of fishing with the Spanish
fleet off the Grand Banks of Newfoundland. When they tried to use the
'burning fist of justice,' they found that the fishermen could hold their
breath for long periods of time and still have enough strength to fight.
Unable to arrest them, the policemen fled, and the fishermen continued as
always until their unemployment insurance was cancelled."
Ranma looked intensely at the short figure before her. "Aquaido...teach
me the techniques Bachan! Anything to defeat Mousse!"
"I will teach you the techniques...only if you promise to marry Shampoo
if you win."
Ranma snorted. "If you don't teach me Aquaido, I won't be able to marry
Shampoo anyway. Since you want Mousse beaten as well, I'm already doing you
a favour."
Cologne sighed. "Quite true, son-in-law; you aren't as thick as your
general actions suggest. Very well, the first part of Aquaido is to
learn to
tap the inner-most levels of your hidden strengths. To spring into
action no
matter the fact that your body is tired or screams for air." Saying that,
Cologne produced a clothes-pin and snapped it shut on Ranma's nose. Then she
pulled out a roll of duck-tape and slapped a piece over Ranma's mouth.
"Now we wait."

Ten minutes later, a rather pale Ranma-chan was flat on the ground.
Hiroshi leaned over her, and was checking her pulse.
"I think he's almost dead."
"Good," Cologne nodded. "Then we can begin the first step in his
training." She reached down and pulled the tape and clothes-pin off. Still,
Ranma didn't make too much of an attempt to breathe.
"Why Ranma not move?" Shampoo asked, concerned.
"Because, Granddaughter, he is suffering from oxygen deprivation and was
unable to breathe. Now to correct that." The old gal leaned in close to the
unmoving girl. Staring at her closely, Cologne smiled, and said, "In order
to revive him...I'll have to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation."
In less then a second, all the other guys had either fainted or backed
at least twenty feet away, eyes wide with horror. Ranma-chan, however,
despite the fact that she was near death, had jumped up and was now clinging
to the top of the fence, a good sixty feet separating Shampoo's great-
grandmother and her; staring at the old bat with a look of pure revulsion
mixed with unspeakable terror.
Cologne nodded, a pleased smile on her face. "Not bad son-in-law.
Despite the fact your body was drained, you still managed to tap those inner
reserves of strength. Now come down here and we'll do it again until I'm
sure you've got it right."

* * *

Later, Ranma-chan stood in front of a busy tunnel in downtown Tokyo.
Looking into the gapping maw of the passage way, the words of the old lady
repeated through her mind.
"You have managed to call upon your inner-most reserves of strength,"
Cologne had said. "But now comes the harder part. You must learn the
ability to control your breathing no matter what happens. If you can not
prevent yourself from breathing at the wrong moment, all you have learned
will be useless. A single pass by the 'burning fist' will undo you. To
defeat that, you must stay alert while not breathing, able to call upon your
inner strength when you see the time is right."
Ranma shook her head fiercely. "I will master this! I don't care what
it takes!"
Gulping in a big breath, Ranma ran inside the tunnel, disappearing down
just as the rush-hour traffic began to roll through.

About thirty minutes later, two city workers walked out. Both were
wearing oxygen masks, and between them they were dragging the figure of a
comatose red-headed girl between them.
"Stupid girl," one of them muttered. "I don't know why she was
wandering around down there with all those noxious fumes, but what I really
can't believe is that she's still alive after staggering in front of that
bus."
"I know what you mean," his companion replied. "It'll take the city
awhile to get that impression of her out of the bus' grill."
"The bus driver was pretty calm about the whole thing," his friend
continued. "Said that this is the second time he's run into someone."
"He hit someone else?"
"Yeah, said it was in Hong Kong. The poor sap must be really lucky;
said there was no fatality that time either, the victim got up and ran away."

* * *

A big bump on her forehead, Ranma-chan staggered through the
streets.
<Must master breathing,> she kept thinking. <Must defeat Mousse.> Deciding
that desperate times call for desperate measures, Ranma borrowed some money
and bought a bouquet of flowers.
Stopping in front of the Neko-han, Ranma set herself and yelled out,
"Shampoo!! I've brought you some flowers!"
Instantly, a loud, "Ai-yah!" broke from the restaurant. The door slid
back and Shampoo stood there, her eyes shining, clasped hands held against
her cheek.
"Oh Ranma!! You do care for your lovely Shampoo!! I so happy!" She
rushed the red-head and grabbed her about the neck, squeezing tightly.
As Ranma felt her windpipe being crushed in an embrace of pure
affection, she give a grimace/smile. <Yes! One of Shampoo's hugs in the
perfect thing to keep me from breathing! Nothing could possibly go wrong!>
Wiping his mouth with a small napkin, Soun walked out of the Neko-han,
saw Ranma and Shampoo, and stopped.
Ranma's eyes bugged out and she managed to gasp out, "O-
ojisan...this...this isn't what you...think-"
"Of course it is, Ranma," Shampoo replied, not seeing Soun behind
her.
"Shampoo so happy Ranma bring her flowers!!" She released her hold on
Ranma's neck and took the flowers from Ranma's limp grasp. "Shampoo place
flowers in water right now! Ranma stay here!"
Shampoo disappeared back into the Neko-han; Ranma gasped and started to
follow her. "Wait! Shampoo!! I want you to hug me some more!!" She
suddenly was yanked to a halt and looked behind her to see Soun with one hand
on her shoulder.
"You know, Ranma-kun," he began, sounding oh-so calm. "If you want to
be held, all you have to do is ask." He put Ranma into a hug of his own; not
like one Shampoo had given her, but almost exactly the same one Ryoga had
applied on her during the Charlotte Cup.
His head now doing that demon impression, Soun shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU
DOING, RANMA-KUN?!?"
Still held in the back-breaker, Ranma blurted out, "You don't
understand! I need Shampoo!! I need her to-" was as far as she got before
Soun punted her into the evening sky.
A still very happy Shampoo bounced out of the restaurant and looked
around for her man. All she saw was Soun with a long forked tongue. "Where
Ranma go?"
Soun looked over, "He had to fly."

* * *

Ranma's flight trajectory carried her back to the Tendo Dojo, where she
made a big splash landing in the carp pool. Lying there for a moment, a
stream of bubbles the only sign of life, she suddenly snapped her head up.
"That's it!" she shouted, then ran into the house.

A few minutes later, Ranma-chan removed the last of her clothing and
tossed it into the hamper. Stepping inside the bath proper, she slid the
door shut. In one hand, she carried one of Akane's exercise weights; each
ring labelled 10 kg.
Looking down at the bath she'd filled, Ranma stared at it intensely.
<The trick was originally learned by spending time underwater. If that's the
case, then all this stuff I've been doing is wrong. If I can hold myself
underwater for long enough, I'll have mastered control over my breathing!>
Placing the weight behind her neck, she pulled it tight against her.
Taking a deep breath, she leapt up and dropped into the hot water. She
splashed water around, then disappeared from sight. After a few moments, the
water levelled out and the small amount of bubbles stopped. All was still.

* * *

Turning the handle, Akane walked into the wash area. "I can't believe
that dope," she muttered as she placed the 'knock first' sign on the outer
door. "He has a chance to get rid of Shampoo once and for all, and what does
he do? He plays right into her plans!" Still muttering to herself, she
stripped off her muddy school uniform and without paying much attention,
tossed it into the laundry hamper.
Grabbing a towel, she slid the door to the bath open and looked in. To
her surprise, the bath was already full of steaming water. <Kasumi-
oneechan,> she thought smiling, <How do you always know?>
Stepping up to the mirror, she looked at her face and arms,
grimacing at
the mud and grit still caked to her. Filling a wash bowl, she splashed water
over her naked body and spent several minutes rubbing hard at her skin.
Unnoticed while she worked, a small stream of bubbles intermittently broke
the surface of the tub.
Finally finished scrubbing the grime off, she splashed herself once more
with cold water. Shivering, Akane walked over to the tub and eased her body
into the hot water. Hissing with delight, she sank down to her knees.
Closing her eyes, Akane pulled her legs out from under her, and as the water
rose to her shoulders, she luxuriously stretched her legs across the tub.
Surprisingly, her foot encountered something before it could possibly
have reached the other end of the tub. It was hard, and seemed to be a disk
of some kind with a pole through the middle. Questioningly, her foot reached
around the disk and encountered something that was smooth and soft, but
unyielding. Surprised, she opened her eyes and leaned forwards, just as
something grabbed the exploring ankle.

"AAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Kasumi looked up from her cooking in the kitchen. What could that
horrible sound possibly be?
Just as the scream-like noise began to die, the tea kettle started to
whistle. "Oh my. Such an odd noise from you today, Mr. kettle," Kasumi said
smiling, slightly confused.

In the bath, Akane had stopped screaming and was busy repeatedly kicking
whatever was in the bath with her.
Spitting out water, Ranma-kun surfaced and tossed the weight out of the
tub. Trying to clear the water from his eyes, he shouted, "What the hell are
you doin-" eyes finally clear, he started as he realized he was staring at
Akane. She was staring straight back at him with a look of surprise mixed
with dawning revulsion.
Her lips drawing back, she barred her teeth and growled out
"Rrraaannnnmmmmaaaaa." She lurched to her feet, preparing to inflict massive
amounts of bodily harm on him. Getting to her feet, however, pulled her body
up out of the water. The dripping liquid flowed down her chest and over her
breasts. Unable to help himself, Ranma's eyes fell from her angry face and
slipped down her body.
Seeing his gaze travel downwards, Akane paused, then flushed a bright
red. Covering her breasts with both arms, she collapsed down into the water
quickly. Bringing one leg up, her foreleg passed through the top of the
water and kicked him in the chin.
"What are you doing, you pervert?!"
"What am I doing?!?" Ranma responded from the far end of the tub where
her kick had carried him. "I was already in here! You walked in on me!!"
The two glared at each other for several moments; Ranma's face still
bruised, Akane's a bright crimson. Finally, Ranma lowered his head and
muttered, "Haven't we done this once already?"
Akane, if possible, blushed even more, remembering the first time she'd
found out that Ranma was definitely a guy. Lowering her own head, she looked
up at him. "I still owe you a pounding for that."
"Hey! You walked in on me!!"
"If you'd have told me you were a guy, I can guarantee that I wouldn't
have!" Akane responded, both looking at each other directly now. Her face
still glaring at him, she asked, "What were you doing underwater?" She
looked over the edge of the tub, "With my weights no less!"
"I was trying, you kawaikune girl, to get what I need to defeat
Mousse!"
Ranma snarled. In short, chopped words, he explained the techniques of
Aquaido.
"So," Akane began, sounding snide. "This whole thing is just another
attempt to get Shampoo back."
"How many times do I have to tell you, I don't care about her! All I
care about is beating Mousse! There is no way I'm going to let him think he
has the best of me."
Akane looked at him closely. "You know that if you do defeat him,
Shampoo will still be after you."
"Yeah, well...It's a package deal. If I defeat him, Shampoo keeps
chasing me around. If I don't defeat him..."
"Shampoo keeps chasing you around anyway," Akane finished for him, "and
you keep chasing Mousse around trying to beat him." For the first time,
Akane looked at him intently. "What happened to your face?"
"I lost an argument while I was training."
"Lost? To whom?"
"A bus." He winced.
"You sure must be training hard," she muttered. Another flush appearing
on her cheeks, she licked her lips. "Ah...h-how would you like a...a back
rub?" Akane stuttered out, her eyes downcast.
Ranma blinked at her for a moment, then realized how sore his muscles
were from the day of abuse. He took a small gulp and nodded; he turned away
from her and waited; trying to keep his breathing under control.
Akane shyly slid through the water towards him. She cupped her hands
and used them to pour the hot water down Ranma's back, then began to knead
her fingers into his back muscles. Feeling the warmth across his back, Ranma
sighed as the tension began to slowly flow from his tight muscles. Working
on his shoulders, Akane slowly moved to his spine, then flowed down to the
small of his back. Her hands underwater now, she used that to slide even
more smoothly across his body.
Bringing them back up, she pressed her palms flat against him as she
made small circles, her fingers gently exploring. <I've seen Tofu-sensei do
this so many times,> she thought. <The pressure points to loosen the muscles
are somewhere around here.> Inquisitively, she pushed her fingers in.
The resulting snap came from Ranma's left shoulder, the crackle from the
right, and the pop was centred in the general vicinity of his neck. Akane
looked horrified as his head and arms, all arched backwards, twitched
uncontrollably. "K-ka-kawaiku-ne," he managed to gasp out through the pain.
"Gomen! Just a second! I'll fix it!" Akane desperately looked at his
twitching back for a moment, unsure what to do. Finally, she just raised her
hands and slapped both of his shoulders forwards. The shock of the blow also
snapped Ranma's head forwards, the whole ensemble making a bone-jarring
CRICK.
There was a moment's pause, then Ranma turned to face her. "Just what
the hell do you think you're doing?! I otta-" he stopped and blinked for a
second. He turned and tilted his head; then looked at her in surprise.
"Hey...That's a whole lot better."
She looked up at him in surprise. "Really?" He nodded, checking to see
if he still had full range of movement. Then he turned back to see her
up to
her shoulders in the water. A small, nervous grin appeared on his face.
"Now it's your turn."
Still flushing, Akane slowly turned around. "Ok, but only my back," she
instructed. With a deep breath, Ranma placed his hands on her shoulders and
slowly pressed into her soft skin. Underneath it, he could feel the play of
her wiry muscles. Running his hands slowly down her slim arms, he could feel
the strength inside them. Returning to her shoulders, he dropped his hands
under the water to caress the rest of her back. With gentle swirling
motions, he travelled down her form, past her slim waist. Far down, he
flipped his fingers downwards, and softly rubbed her buttocks.
Akane was resting her head on her arms, which were lying on the tub's
rim. She could feel the soft flow of the warm water as Ranma's motions set
up currents against her skin. Ranma's tough hands were delicate as they
pressed so gently into her muscles. Closing her eyes, she savoured the
sensation; then felt him reach each hand under her armpits.
"Ranma."
"Hmm."
"Only my back, remember."
"It's your side, it counts." Again, with soft, gentle motions, he ran
his hands down her flanks. Akane sighed repeatedly as he ran his hands down
from her shoulders, to her waist, then along her hip and down as much of her
leg as he could reach. He kneaded the flesh under his fingers over and over
again. Akane started to get sleepy; then she felt his hands return to her
waist, and reach around to meet over her belly-button.
She could feel him pull forwards until his chest was against her
shoulders; between her buttocks, she could feel a warm, thick object
lying in
the cleft there.
"Ranma."
"Hmm."
"That's not my back."
"You may be right," he replied, gently rubbing her tummy. "Let me check
to make sure." Gingerly, he ran his hands up her ribcage until he enveloped
her breasts. Slowly squinching them, he tenderly played with them for a
moment. "You know," he whispered as he nuzzled the back of her head with his
nose, "I think you're right."
Akane gave into the pleasure with a soft moan. She lifted her face from
her arms, "If you can't follow instructions," she whispered, "I guess
it's up
to me to make sure you do." Rising her arms above her, she sat up slightly
and twisted around. Ranma lost his placement on her breasts, his hands
coming to rest against her waist. Akane finished her turn and was facing
him; she draped her arms loosely against his shoulders and neck. "There,"
she whispered, smiling. "Your hands are on my back, where they should be."
Smiling at each other, they closed their eyes and tilted in. Pressing
their bodies close, they met for a deep kiss as Akane's breasts flattened
against his chest, and Ranma's member was trapped between their bodies.
Moaning into her open mouth, Ranma ran one hand up her back, while the other
reached down.
Holding her weight on one knee, Ranma slipped the lower hand down in
between her legs as Akane rubbed her hand down his chest. With a sudden
motion, Ranma waved his hand, and a current of hot water was pushed against
Akane's mound. She moaned and leaned back, one hand grasping his neck as she
arched her back, her other hand reaching down and settling on his
manhood.
Now reaching in, Ranma made contact with his fingers. Touching her
clitoris, he pressed gently; Akane tightened her grip on his penis. Both
took shuddering breaths as their wrists from the active hands touched.
Akane began to softly pump Ranma's tool as Ranma enjoyed the sensation
of her tight grip surrounded by warm water. While his nostrils flared, he
readied his hand, and quickly shoved two fingers inside her, his thumb poking
into her button.
Akane "Ahhh!"ed somewhat loudly in response, surprised. Getting herself
under control, she smiled at him and began to move her hand faster.
KNOCK KNOCK! "Akane? Are you all right?"
Both Ranma and Akane froze and turned to face the door, looking
terrified.
"Akane?"
"I-I'm fine, Nabiki-oneechan!"
"What was that yelp I heard?"
"Ah...ah...ah, the, the water was a little too hot! I didn't expect
it!"
"Ok," her sister replied. "Kasumi says dinner won't be for some time;
so please, enjoy yourself." The two in the tub winced.
"We've got to stay quiet," Ranma whispered.
"Hey, its not like it's something I can control." Akane replied. She
looked around for a moment, then grinned. Disentangling herself from him,
she rose from the tub. Ranma took a good look at her slick, athletic body,
water dripping along her curves. She turned on the water tap and pulled the
nob for the shower attachment.
With a loud whoosh, the water began to spray from the nozzle. She
reached up, pulling her breasts up as well, Ranma noticed, and pointed the
spray off so it hit the wall. Akane walked into the water and leaned up
against the wall. Grinning she said, "The shower ought to cover any
noise we
make, don't you think?"
Grinning back, Ranma rose himself out of the water, Akane's gaze turning
on the torpedo-like part that seemed to rise by itself. Climbing out of the
tub, he crossed over and pressed his lips against her's as he pulled her body
close.
They spent several moments recovering the sensations they'd had before
Nabiki's interruption, then Akane reached down again. She grabbed his member
and slowly pumped it. While Ranma gasped, Akane's eyes fell on a bottle, and
she released him.
Worming her way out from between him and the wall, she grabbed a bottle
of shampoo and poured some of the syrup into her right hand. Spreading it
over the hand, she returned to Ranma and placed her back against the wall
again. Grabbing his shoulder and placing him so his back took most of the
spray, she grasped his manhood in her right hand again. This time, with the
lubrication, her hand slid up and down his shaft easily and swiftly.
Ranma groaned and hunched over, his head resting against her
shoulder.
His hands held her back as she continued to pump his tool, her fingers
flowing smoothly over his hard skin. As she continued, Ranma kept hunching
over, driving his face lower. Eventually, his face was at her chest, and
despite the rapid gulps of air he took, he kept flicking one of her nipples
with his tongue.
Finally, he whispered, "Faster, faster, faster!" Akane pumped along him
so quickly that her hand blurred; the slick shampoo kept the grip from
hurting. Suddenly, Ranma pulled himself up straight and pressed his hips
against her's tightly. Rocking up and down, he drove the last few strokes
against her torso, then suddenly twitched and squirted out across her tummy
and hip.
It took Ranma a few moments to calm his ragged breathing. Then, he
opened his eyes and stared at the face of the girl he was pinning against the
wall. He grinned at Akane, then kissed her. As their mouths met and their
tongues mixed, his hands began to travel down her body. First running over
her slick breasts, then down her flat, muscular tummy. Finally, he slid them
around her hips and into her cleft. As Akane shivered, Ranma began to follow
the path with his head. Licking his way down her cheek, he followed the
curve in her neck, past her breast bone, then followed up the mound of one
breast, and settled on her left nipple.
Ranma spent some time just milking at her nipple, surrounding it with
his tongue, bitting it gently. Akane's arms wound themselves around his back
and neck, just holding him there. Ranma then moved to milk the other breast,
giving it as much attention as the other one. Spray from the water now
freely lashed against the free left breast, the hot water bitting into
it.
Akane was breathing raggedly through her mouth; her face flushed and eyes
half open.
Finished his milking, Ranma moved his head to lie in the middle of her
breasts; then he continued down her body and onto her tummy. The spray of
hot water again slammed into her sensitive nipples, and Akane shuddered.
Licking past her belly, Ranma finally reached the space between her
legs. For the first time able to actually see her, Ranma moved his hands in
and gently folded back the pink skin, laying her open to him. With careful
motions, he pushed two fingers into her; above him, he could hear the girl
moan. He dragged his fingers out along the front of her hole and she
twitched lightly.
Ranma then moved his head up against her, the insides of her legs
against his cheeks; he traced the area around Akane's canal with his tongue
and nose. He moved his head from side to side between her legs, rubbing
against her insides as much as possible. The hot water continued to flow
down her body from where it struck her on the chest. It made the flesh under
his tongue slippery when without, and she made it slippery when within.
Moaning, Akane pressed his head into her mound even harder. Ranma
flicked his tongue over her clitoris several times, then almost swallowed it
as Akane shoved him in as her muscles tightened. Locking his lips around it,
he sucked mightily.
With a small animal cry, Akane bent her knees and pushed herself against
him as hard as she could. Her pretty face twisted into a grimace, she moaned
and squealed as she came. Ranma felt the taste of the water change as it
mixed with her released juices. Holding there for a moment, he let the
emotions have their way with her, then rose up to catch her as she began to
slide down. She looked down and smiled wanly as she saw that he was ready
again. Looking up, she gave him a tired kiss.
Ranma turned Akane away from him, so she was facing the wall. He moved
in behind her, so that his penis was once more lying upwards in the cleft of
the girl's ass. Putting both hands on her breasts, Ranma leaned forwards,
bending at the waist, forcing Akane to do the same. Quickly, her arms shot
out and pressed themselves against the wall to prevent her from falling. The
hot water splashed both of them on their right sides, caressing the young
bodies.
His left hand still on Akane's breast, Ranma removed his right and
pushed her legs further apart, forming an inverted V. He felt up the inside
of her legs once more; then took his manhood in hand. Twitching his
hips, he
placed the tip of his penis against her soft, inviting hole; Akane closed her
eyes and gritted her teeth.
With his hips, Ranma slowly shoved his member into the girl's trembling
vagina. Aided by the slickness that flowed from her own body, Ranma's
manhood easily worked its way inside. He removed his hand and placed it
again on her breast. Finally in as far as he could go, Ranma pulled back and
felt Akane pulled along with him. Reaching the end, he slowly thrust
forwards again, and his hips forced Akane forwards onto her toes. Unable to
move enough to prevent him, Akane followed his motion as he began to stroke
in and out of her. Riding with him, she lurched up when he rocked forwards,
was pulled back as he withdrew.
Bending over her back, Ranma kept throwing his hips forwards, the only
motion he was capable of doing in the situation. His hands continued to
softly work on her breasts as he drove deeply into her. He could feel her
walls pressing firmly into his hot member from all sides, firing his passion.
As her body took him in, Akane felt the rhythm of his thrusts drive her
emotions high. Locking her arms tight, she stiffened her resistance against
his pushing and felt him grind into her body harder. Whimpering and
groaning, she realize that any moment now she'd surrender to the experience
and let Ranma carry her far away. The hot water lashing her body only added
to the building fire. His next thrust shoved her to the edge of forever; she
held a long moan that escaped her lips...

In the kitchen, Kasumi pulled another kettle out from the cupboards.
Humming softly to herself, she placed it in the sink and turned on the hot
water tap to fill the kettle for extra tea.

"Ah!! That's cold!!" Both Ranma and Akane yelped, surprised. The sudden
change from steaming hot water to ice water disrupted the rhythm Akane had
established. Shivering, she tried to reclaim the sensation, but something
critical was missing. Turning her head, she looked past her body to see a
rather surprised Ranma-chan standing behind her; still holding Akane's
breasts, but unable to do much of anything else. Turning back to face the
wall, Akane blew out an annoyed breath.
"Pulling out before I'm done; just like a man."

Back in the kitchen, Kasumi finished filling the kettle and turned off
the water.

"Ah!" Akane gasped as the hot water again began to beat against her
skin. "AAHHH!!" She gasped even louder as Ranma suddenly filled her. She
hadn't expected the change to be that quick! The instantaneous filling of
her body capitalized on what had occurred before; before she could establish
any form of control, her figure shook with reaction. All of her muscles
clenched painfully tight as she arched her back. "AHH...Ranma!!" Through
the tight muscles, arcs of pleasure raced over her body, and she collapsed
over the edge of feeling.
His manhood held tightly in the girl's love-canal, Ranma felt and her
heard Akane climax. The experience only drove him onwards to thrust harder
against her soft, moist walls. Despite the momentary setback he'd
experienced, he still could feel the pressure inside him building up. Akane
finally relaxed her muscles and almost slid to the floor, but he held her up
and stroked into her again and again. Pressing up against her tighter, he
felt her hot skin against his chest, under his hands, rammed against his
hips, and enveloping his erect member.
Shivering despite the hot water, Akane wanted to fall to her knees and
rest; however, she was still impaled by his thrusting manhood. Gritting her
teeth, she set herself once more and continued to take him in. Over and over
again Ranma reached deep inside her; each new lunge rekindled the spark that
had just blazed across her. Gasping heavily, she didn't know how much more
she could stand before...before...
At that moment, Ranma realized he couldn't take it any longer. The
pressure in the core of his manhood came to a head and the twitching became
uncontrollable. Letting go of her breasts, Ranma grabbed her hips and began
to pump inside her with no other thought then to drive the sensation before
him. The sudden change in tempo pushed through Akane and she felt his
slickened tool set fire to her nerves. Bursts of intense pleasure fired from
her sex, and as she moaned loudly, her face screwed up in ecstacy.
"Rrrrraannmmmaaa..."
Inside her tight, wet passage, Ranma felt her hot juices drench his
member; suddenly her arm muscles failed her and Akane stumbled slightly to
the side. The sideways lurch pulled sharply on his manhood, and with that,
all was lost. "A-Ak-Akaneee..." he groaned as his eruption was torn from
him; his penis pumped seeming of its own accord and spewed semen into the
girl's eager vagina. Continually thrusting, Ranma emptied his seed into her
over several more strokes.
Finally done, Ranma disengaged himself from her; Akane slipped to the
floor, her cheek against the wall, shivering as the water washed over
her.
Ranma staggered back and sat down heavily on the edge of the tub. Sitting
there for a few moments, he tried to reclaim his regular breathing. Akane
staggered to her feet and pushed off from the wall, wobbling slightly, she
backed away from the wall, and accidently smacked Ranma. Thrown backwards,
he yelped out as his body fell into the tub.
Akane turned at his yelp. "Ranma! Just a second!" She vaulted over
the edge of the tub and splashing in, trying to help him up. Unfortunately,
she misjudged the distance and landed with her knees on his chest, just
as he
was getting his hands under him. Driven by her weight, Ranma smacking into
the bottom and lay there, stunned. Akane realized what she'd done, and
scampered off him; reaching down she finally found him and pulled his head
above the surface. "I'm sorry, Ranma; I'm sorry," she repeated as she
cradled his head against her chest; gently stroking his wet hair.
Recovering from getting the wind knocked out of him, Ranma was at first
angry with her; not surprisingly his anger didn't last too long when he
realized what he was resting against. Sighing contentedly, he relaxed,
closing his eyes and letting her gently hold him...
Suddenly, his eyes snapped open. "That's it!!" he said, surprising
Akane. Pulling himself up before her, he grabbed her by her arms.
"Akane!
You can help me with my training!"
"W-What?" she responded, confused. How could he think about
training at
a time like this?
"Yes," Ranma continued. "By myself, I can't stay underwater long
enough. My body eventually rebels and tries to breathe! But you can
hold me
under and keep me from failing!"
Akane looked at the man she'd been intimate with just a few moments
ago.
"Ranma," she began, shocked. "I-I couldn't...I mean, I just-"
"Sure you can," he continued. "Those brutish muscles of your's are the
prefect thing to hold me under with. It would have to be you, someone with
no compassion, to hold me underwater for minutes on end-"
Akane grabbed him and shoved his head to the bathtub's floor before he'd
gotten a chance to take a deep breath. Holding him there for five minutes,
she eventually pulled him to the surface; still glaring at him. His face was
an odd shade of off-blue.
"N-n-[gasp]-not quite yet," he wheezed. "I know you're a dork, but
surely you can do better then-"
She pushed his head to the floor and kept it there for half-an-hour,
when Kasumi called the family to dinner. When Ranma surfaced again, his face
was now a shade of sea-green.
"A-al-almost...I-I can [wheeze, gasp] feel it-it near..." Realizing
that it was almost time for the ultimate sacrifice, he took a deep breath and
said, "Kawaikune!"
Akane got out of the tub, went into the outer room, ripped the washing
machine out from the wall and dropped that on Ranma's head; then stalked off
to dinner.
Soun discovered a rather pale Ranma-chan in the now room temperature
water; sixteen hours later when he came in for his bath. Pulling the washer
off her head, Soun fished her out; only to find her chuckling a slightly
insane chuckle.
"I've got it...I've finally got it..."

* * *

Next day at Furinkan, the soccer field was once again crowded as the
school turned out for the re-match. Ranma cracked his knuckles and
stared at Mousse with a slight grin. Mousse was busy trying to talk to
Shampoo, who for some reason was not acknowledging his existence. Or rather
to the point, the goal-post he was talking to wasn't acknowledging him.
"Mousse!" Ranma shouted, "I'm going to show you that you can't beat
me, no matter what tricks you use!"
"And Ranma reclaim Shampoo's heart!" Shampoo added from the sidelines;
both guys winced.
"You will never have her!" Mousse shouted as he attacked. "Yakemasu Ken
Handan Shimasu!" His burning fist skinned the tip of Ranma's nose, and
Mousse moved in, confidently releasing a chain-attached leather love-seat.
To his surprise, Ranma dodged under the chair; shocked, Mousse released
the rest of the living room set. Bounding over the couch, cartwheeling
between the end tables, and under the stereo equipment, Ranma cleared the
distance to Mousse and clobbered him on the nose with a left hook.
Falling back, stunned, Mousse received several more shots. Recovering,
the Chinese master of hammerspace released several more 'burning fist'
attacks; all failed to affect Ranma. Finally, stepping inside the amazed
Mousse's range, Ranma swung a circle kick and caught Mousse on the side of
his head; knocking his glasses off and him to the ground.
Mousse tried to regain his feet, but his muscles failed and he slid back
down to the ground. Ranma smirked and released the breath he'd been
holding.
Looking down at the defeated figure before him, he muttered "Yep...this has
been a really great week."
"Ai-yah!!! Ranma win!!" Shampoo shouted, doing that foot-to-foot
bounce from Kirin's palace. "Come here Ranma!! As prize, you get big kiss
from Shampoo!!"
Wrapping her arms around his neck, Shampoo tried to place her lips to
his; "No! Shampoo! Don't! I mean...I don't need..." Ranma gasped, using
his hands to try and keep her face away from his. Out of the corner of his
eye, he saw Akane starting to stalk towards him; a blue aura surrounding her,
and a kendo sword held in her hands.
"This is excellent, son-in-law," came a voice right next to his
shoulder. "By defeating your closest challenger, according to our laws,
you've pushed up the date of your wedding."
"Wait! I didn't mean to do that you old ghoul! Shampoo, stop
trying to
kiss me! Mousse, go grab some one else! No, Akane! Don't hit me!!"
Daisuke turned away, "If this's been a good week..."
"I'd hate to see what he considers a bad one," Hiroshi finished.


Author's Notes:

I finally figured out why the preamble for my fics keep getting longer;
I, obviously, am the Energizer Bunny of the Fan-fic world. Every time I sit
down and start typing: I keep going, and going, and going, and going. What's
worse, is that I HATE that wascally wabbit!
In case you noticed from reading the credits, the Horde O' Hentai is
expanding like the Dreaded Brain-Cell Eating Bacteria we are! I welcome
Craig into the Horde with his publication of a Tenchi Muyou lemon; "The Price
One Pays-Day One." For others who wish to join the ranks of the rank, sorry,
but the Horde has two entry requirements: 1) you have to publish
something on
the nets (lemon or not), and 2) I have to actually know you in person.
Honourary Horde memberships will be given out to certain people; more on that
in my next author's ramblings.
Production Notes: this is in actuality, the second oldest story I'd ever
come up with for .05. The only story that pre-dates this is Vol 1,part 1
"Warm Hearts and Cold Nights." However, I just couldn't see anywhere to
place this in Vol 1, and I wanted to get away from Ranma and Akane for a bit
after beginning Vol 2.
Don't ask me what the hell a Tokyo Shuffle is really called. Some
member of BAKA suggested it to me once, and as far as I'm concerned, it's
good enough for me.
For any English soccer fans, I apologize for that joke, but you have to
admit, it does fit. The bit where Cologne explains the origins of the
'burning fist,' the fact that the police tried to arrest someone for fishing
with the Spanish Fleet off the coast of Newfoundland is a Canadian
in-joke.
If you don't get it, don't worry about it. If you're Spanish, don't worry,
I didn't mean anything by it. If any marine biologists read this, I don't
know if there are giant oysters like the giant clams, nor do I care.
Aquaido is a pun on aikido; much the same as my Tae Kwon Do-Rei-Me was
in Vol 2,part 1. Not as good I agree, but I have to work with what I got.
The bus driver was the same one who ran down Yakumo in Hong Kong (3X3
Eyes). Don't ask me where I got the idea for 'Video Girl Pai, 3X3
Heads;' I
ate something that didn't agree with me and I had weird dreams that night
(I'm not joking). I'd tell you about Jean (from Blue Water) singing a catchy
tune as he sets off a nuke...but I don't quite understand it myself.
With regards to Vol 2,part 2 "Are You a Man, Or Aren't You?"; three
weeks after I'd finished that and had it sent on the net, I finally got a
chance to see the Ranma manga volumes 30-32. And there, clear as day, was
the introduction of Akari-chan. After all the hard work I'd done trying to
come up with a way to get Ryoga and Ukyou together; what does she do? She
brings out another character to help solve what I had thought was an already
worked out love poly-dodecahedron. [sigh]
TAKAHASHI-NO-MEGAMISAMA!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!? AFTER ALL
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER?!?
[insert sound of author bawling like child and repeatedly bashing head
against unyielding concrete wall]
Oh well; I never could stay mad at you for long. Besides,
Akari-chan is
kind of cute...Anyway, no one who raises Sumo pigs could possibly be bad.
(Note: until I personally read about the guy I hear she's setting up as
Ukyou's boyfriend, the Ukyou=Ryoga pairing will continue.)
On other notes: It seems as if I am not the only writer of lemons that
actually cares if it contains a plot or not. A while ago, I'd managed to
read a preliminary copy of Caroline Ann Seawright's fic, "Ranma nibun no ichi
-the Wedding." As one of the BAKA members can attest to, I was willing to
commit mass murder and gross indecency to get my own copy. I finally picked
it up off the net, and it sill amazes me how well it's written. In all
honesty, I consider myself to be a fairly good fic-writer; however, I just
love her work. Also, for those people who still think that I should let
Akane get pregnant; I direct you to Caroline's work, her 'Wedding' and
'University' episodes do what you people scream for. As far as I'm
concerned, she can deal with the problems of a hormone imbalanced Akane. I
don't know if I influenced you Caroline or if this was your own idea, but go
for it...and be evil.
By the way...finished 'Dear Diary' by Neil Robertson (Hi right back at
ya), loved the ending. Your 'Maybe Chronicles' sounds interesting; you
probably already have the method of time travel worked out, but if you
haven't, want to borrow Darken? (My resident kami (brevet third class limited
probational) from Ranma 1/100th.) As a kami, he can travel through time and
the alternate realities. Just two suggestions if you use him: 1) no lemon
for him (he's not lucky enough) and 2) heap unlimited abuse upon him.
[Note: don't E-mail me for the addresses of these people or where their
fics can be found; I haven't gotten permission to slander their good names
across the net]
By the way, remember I said I'd try to come out with a .05 then a
1/100th, then a .05? Well, forget it. It's obvious I can't stick to a
schedule if my life depeneded on it. They'll come out in whatever order I
write 'em. (All blame belongs to me.)
Anyway: to either bear my childern, or hit me with a paternaty suit,
contact my voice-E-mail service, curtasy of the fuzzy one at
[grey...@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca]
Now we come, once again, to the close of this lemon. It's confirmed,
there will be only one more in Vol 2; then I will start on Vol 3 which
has a
connected storyline. As before, here's a hint about what's coming next:
Pause.
Even longer pause.
EXTREMELY long pause.
Well...I know it's got something to do with Shampoo. The other details
I'm still working out. I've been writing these things down faster then I've
been thinking them up, so I'm rapidly running out of ideas. If you got
ideas, suggestions, or just bad jokes for future ones, I have no problem with
fan input. (If anyone thought this would be a three-some because of my line
'Will Shampoo get involved?', sorry! That was never my intention.)
The following people, like me, are sick. However, I'm an EVIL sick
BASTARD, and that makes all the difference.

James Stone: Great brain-cells think alike, do they not?
The BAKA (Banzai Anime Klub of Alberta) gang: These great fellows pooled
their money together to get me a lovely jacket. It's white, got shiny
buckles down the back, and nice, long arms.
Lee (Grey Wolf): For introducing my AD&D group to the joys
of
fighting a Water Elemental from Jhusenkyo.
Rob (Barbarian): For crazy-gluing my thumbs to the space bar, so I have
to keep typing.
Craig: For being the only person I know, who has successfully mixed
elements of Sailor Moon into his Shadowrun campaign.
Takahashi Rumiko-no-megamisama: For giving me something to write about;
it's keeping me off the streets.
You, the reader: Hello? Is anyone out there? [insert wolf howl]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lee Willard Ginther System operator of The Ferret Farm BBs -403-457-3396-
wil...@ersys.edmonton.ab.ca grey...@worldgate.edmonton.ab.ca
1:342/63@Fidonet
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------