Bubblegun Splash! pt.3 [fanfic]

[David E Wills]

Bubblegum Splash! 3: Trouble Brewing
Written by Mike Koos
------------------------------------
Somewhere in MegaTokyo, late one evening...

Yuka: (whispering) I can't believe we let you talk us into this! They'll catch
us for sure!
Sayuri: (whispering) Not if you shut up and keep moving, they won't.
Kinu: (whispering) How much farther?
Sayuri: (whispering) We're almost there. Then we'll show them what we can or
can't do!

The whole compound springs to life. Alarms and the sounds of a full-scale
search are heard.

Voice: (over loudspeaker) Attention, all guards. Secure all exits. Be on the
lookout for five of our experimental 3-3-S-type boomers. They are
suspected to be somewhere on the grounds and may be attempting to
escape.
Ryoko: (snorts) *May* be!?

She overpowers a guard and takes his gun.

Sayuri: C'mon, let's go!

They make their way alongside a wall to a garage and slip in under the door.
What looks like a convertible with a cargo carrier attached to it sits alone
at the near end.
Ryoko jumps into the driver's seat.

Ryoko: This is our ticket out of here.
Michiko: *You're* driving!? I thought you didn't know how to drive!
Ryoko: Another thing they never taught me. Well, no time like the present to
learn.
Sayuri: No you don't! I'm driving. (She changes places with Ryoko and
starts the car.) There's no way I'm going to let them *or* you destroy
our dream.

To their wide-eyed surprise, a pair of *large* boomers break down the door
behind them.

Michiko: (to Ryoko) Well? You're the one with the gun!
Yuka: Yeah! Shoot them!
Ryoko: (firing) As if it would do any good. If we were fighting hand-to-hand
we might've had a chance.
Kinu: I'm scared...
Sayuri: Hang on!

She races the car toward the far end of the garage. Executing a hair-raising
u-turn that comes within an inch of the walls, Sayuri aims the car right back
toward the boomers.

Ryoko: You've GOT to be kidding! You won't be able to ram through them!
Sayuri: We've got to try!
Michiko: Oh, no...!

True to her word Sayuri plows through the boomers... but only one of them. The
car nearly overturns itself on the other, and Ryoko, Kinu and Michiko are
thrown out. The hapless boomer Sayuri had run through collapses in on itself
as Sayuri fights for control of the car.

Yuka: (looking back) We've got to go back for them!

Sayuri puts the car on a collision course with a section of the electrified
fence. A line of guards has formed in between the car and the gate as if they
thought they stood a chance of stopping the car.
Sayuri was going to see to it that they didn't.
Besides, with the remaining boomer trying to take off their tail, there was
only one way left to go.

Sayuri: We'll have to come back for them later. It's not going to do any of us
any good if we're all captured now.
Yuka: But...
Sayuri: (pushing Yuka down in her seat) Get down!

Sayuri regretted not being able to see the looks on the guards' faces as she
broke through the line and the fence, showering electricity everywhere like a
million Fourth-of-July sparklers. But they were free now - and she pressed the
vehicle for all it was worth.

Watching Sayuri and Yuka speed away, the second-in-command watched his guards
pick themselves up from the where they had been knocked to by Sayuri's final
run and wondered how he was going to explain all this. He turned to face the
boomer, who was holding Kinu, Michiko and Ryoko tightly.

Guard Captain: You never learn, do you? It's back to school for you.

* * * *

The next morning, Shampoo is called to the office of the Chief of the AD
Police. An innocent-looking young girl is waiting just outside the door.

Chief: That's Raichi, the Senator's daughter and a photojournalist for the
MegaTokyo Daily News. She's doing a story on the AD Police, so I want
you to show her around. Take her out on patrol.
Chief: Let her see just how tough the daily routine of an AD Police officer
really is.
Shampoo: Me? But why do *I* have to play babysitter for the Senator's
daughter?
Chief: For one thing, you're still on official reprimand for hooking up a
'Clapper' to the ignition system of Kunou's patrol car. Or have you
forgotten?

Shampoo tried to keep from giggling. After all, it was the only time she'd
seen Kunou get applause on and off the streets.

Shampoo: No, sir.
Chief: Good. Now go on; I expect you to have a busy day ahead of you.

Shampoo leaves.

Chief: (props his feet up on the desk) Ahh, now I won't have to escort that
brat around myself.

Shampoo: (to Raichi) Come on. Let's get this over with.
Raichi: You sound excited.
Shampoo: Don't I?

Kunou and Hikaru pass them. As usual, Hikaru is carrying Kunou's things for
him.

Shampoo: Where are you two going?
Kunou: Genom lost one of their experimental mechs last night because of an
incompetent fool at the Processing Center.
Hikaru: Although there's probably a lot more to it than that.
Kunou: (to Hikaru) Quiet!
Shampoo: Say, you wouldn't happen to have an extra open seat in your car,
would you? I'll bet Raichi here would love to tag along and...
Kunou: Forget it. You cannot pass your problems on to me. You've done
something wrong, and now you've got to face the consequences.
Shampoo: <So, he IS still upset over what I did to his car.>
Kunou: Oh, before I forget...

Kunou takes a stack of paperwork from Hikaru's armload and presents them
to Shampoo.

Kunou: These need to be filled out and filed before the end of the shift
today.
Shampoo: (annoyed) What do I look like, your personal secretary?
Kunou: Of course.

Kunou and Hikaru leave. Shampoo seems about ready to rip the entire stack of
papers in half with her bare hands.

Shampoo: Damn it! He's ALWAYS making me do all his paperwork!
Raichi: Thank goodness he's not my type.
Shampoo: What?
Raichi: (embarrassed) Oh. I didn't mean to say that out loud.

Shampoo mentally shrugs and starts walking toward her office block.

Shampoo: So, you're looking for a boyfriend, are you?
Raichi: ...Yeah. But since I'm the daughter of a senator *and* a
photojournalist, I'll probably meet someone exciting someday and
he'll sweep me off my feet and we'll both live happily ever after.
(sighs) I know my prince will come someday.
Shampoo: Uh... yeah.
Shampoo: Do you know how corny that sounded?
Raichi: (shrugs) Hey, I didn't write it.

[Editor's note: We'd like to apologize for any inconsistencies you might
find. Our normal translator is on vacation and can't be reached.]

* * * *

Outside her trailer, Ranma is working on rebuilding part of her motorbike.
Without knowing it she's slipped into humming her most popular song,
"There's a Tidal Wave Tonight."

Sayuri: That's a beautiful bike.
Ranma: Huh...?

She looks up, wiping the hair from her forehead - which only serves to coat
it with more grease.

Ranma: (standing) Oh... thanks.

Ranma sizes up Sayuri. Her initial instinct is to be suspicious, but for the
first time every part of her seemed to like and trust this person. Whoever
she was.

Sayuri: I'm sorry. Did I catch you at a bad moment?
Ranma: (smiling) No, not really.

A part of Ranma's mind wondered what in the world she was doing smiling while
talking to a complete stranger. She wiped the oil and grease from her hands
with a worn Vision T-shirt.

Sayuri: I know you - you're Ranma! From the group 'Ranma and the
Counterparts,' right?
Ranma: (laughs) That's me.
Sayuri: Wow, I never thought I'd meet someone like you. This is so great!

Ranma normally classified this as standard fan talk. For some reason she
didn't quite want to end the conversation.

Sayuri: I wouldn't mind being a singer, myself...
Ranma: You do have a good voice. I could get you in touch with a few people
if you want.
Sayuri: That's okay. I have a dream I want to realize first.
Ranma: I'm going to go inside and get something to drink. Can I get you
anything?

They enter the trailer.

Sayuri: Do you know how to make tea?
Ranma: No. I never really learned how.
Sayuri: Then we've got something in common.
Ranma: By the way, I didn't catch your name.
Sayuri: Sayuri. It's Sayuri.

* * * *

Later that night two shadowy figures approach a diner and smash open the
door. Silently they work their way through the entire building, two virtual
tornadoes with intent. They leave with what they came for just as quickly
as they came - just before the police pull into the parking lot.

* * * *

Half a week comes and passes, and Shampoo and Raichi take the opportunity to
go to a cafe during Shampoo's lunch break.

Shampoo: So, how did you like traffic duty?
Raichi: *That* was traffic duty? All I got to do was sit around for two and
a half hours and watch you eat more than your share of the food we
brought!
Shampoo: Sure, whatever you say.

Shampoo notices something she'd never expected to see - Ranma, sitting at
one of the tables, talking to someone - Sayuri. Shampoo makes the mistake of
calling Ranma's name aloud.

Shampoo: (waving) Hey, Ranma!

As soon as Shampoo is close enough, Ranma pushes her into one of the booth's
seats.

Ranma: Shh! Thanks a lot. The LAST thing I need is for this to turn into a
spectator event.
Shampoo: What are you doing here? I never thought I'd see you in a place like
this.
Ranma: We're waiting for Akane. She wanted to meet Sayuri.
Shampoo: Sayuri?
Ranma: Oh, all right. (gestures to Sayuri) Shampoo, this is Sayuri. Sayuri,
(gestures to Shampoo) this is Shampoo. She works for the AD Police.
Sayuri: (nervous, but making a commendable effort to keep it from showing)
The AD Police?
Shampoo: Pleased to meet you. Are you a friend of Ranma's?

Ranma and Sayuri look at each other, then at Shampoo. Both say "yes" at
about the same time. Both laugh. Shampoo looks at them as if trying to figure
out who they were.

Shampoo: Oh, that's right! I'd like you two to meet Raichi, we're...
Ranma: We've met.
Shampoo: What? When?
Ranma: At the Nekohanten club a few months back. She wouldn't stop trying
to ask me for an interview, or a picture...
Raichi: The press has rights too, y'know.
Ranma: What about mine?
Raichi: You're a celebrity. You gave up those rights when you...
Ranma: Oh, THIS argument again. Why don't you ever go and harass someone else,
like Vision?
Raichi: Restraining order.
Ranma: Lucky her. Look, I...
Sayuri: (holding Ranma's arm) I'm sure she was just doing her job.

Shampoo fully expected Ranma to start yelling, come to blows or something
of the sort. So naturally it came as somewhat of a shock when Ranma calmed
down and dropped the argument.

Ranma: Okay.

More so, to Raichi.

Raichi: ...What!?
Shampoo: (quietly, to Raichi) Shh!
Shampoo: So, where's Ukyou?
Ranma: She has a full load of classes today. 'Spatula Aerobics' is starting
to catch on.

Akane and Ryouga enter and join the group.

Akane: (to Shampoo) I didn't expect to see you here. It's your lunch break,
isn't it? Or are you just showing Raichi here the sights?
Raichi: 'Akane?' I knew the name sounded familiar but I didn't think it would
be THE Akane Tendo! (to Shampoo) Why didn't you tell me you knew such
interesting people?
Akane: It's nice to be known.
Ryouga: <Sheesh! There's gotta be more than one 'Akane' out there... it's a
common name!>

Ranma shrugs.

Akane: (taking a seat next to Sayuri) So, you must be Sayuri. Ranma's told me
a lot about you.
Sayuri: (glances at Ranma) Really?
Akane: (laughs) No. But, that's Ranma for you. The 'strong, silent' type.
Sayuri: I wouldn't say that. She's a good friend.

Shampoo tosses the pair another narrow look of suspicion. So do Akane and
Ryouga. Raichi, for her part, didn't care at all - she was preoccupied with
watching a man at the other end of the cafe.

Ranma: Sayuri's interested in starting up a restaurant or cafe of her own
someday.
Akane: Is that so?
Sayuri: (blushes) Yes. Just something I and a few other people were thinking
about.
Akane: What's holding you back?
Sayuri: This and that. You know. Little things. Like the fact that I never
learned how to make tea.

Kunou's police car drives by the cafe. Shampoo could tell this because of the
steady sound of clapping following the car as it passes.

Akane signals Ranma with a couple of facial gestures to distract Raichi.
Ranma doesn't understand why, but she signals agreement.

Ranma: (innocently) Oh, Raichi...

As Raichi's attention snaps back to the present, Ranma takes the
photojournalist's camera and tosses it out the open window.

Raichi: (shocked) My camera!

She dives for the camera and misses, ending up in an undignified position
at Sayuri's feet. Grumbling, she picks herself up and makes a dash for the
door.
Akane smiles. If there was one thing she could count on, it was Ranma's
diversions.

Akane: (whispering, to Shampoo) Shampoo - I want you to run a check on
Sayuri. Something's not right about her.
Shampoo: (watching Sayuri, whispering) I don't know... but if you say so,
okay.
Shampoo: (stands) It's about time I got back to work, anyway.

Raichi comes back to the table, turning her camera over and over in her
hands looking for the slightest bit of damage.

Raichi: If she broke my camera I'll...
Shampoo: Forget it. It isn't worth it.
Raichi: Easy for you to say.

Shampoo looks at the camera and then at Sayuri. She takes the camera from
Raichi's hands.

Raichi: Hey!
Shampoo: Mind if I borrow this for a moment? I want to take a couple pictures
of my friends.
Raichi: Film's expensive, you know.
Shampoo: I could always let Ranma throw this out the window again...
Raichi: All right! Go ahead and take your pictures. You're paying for the
roll, though.
Shampoo: Fine. (She raises the camera to her eye.) Everyone smile for the
camera!

Everyone smiles, even Ranma. Akane is the only one aware of what Shampoo
actually wanted to take a picture of.

Shampoo: Okay! We'll see you all later! C'mon, Raichi - let's go. I'll stop
at the photo store on the way and buy you a new roll of film.

In the parking lot...

Raichi: (pauses) Is there something you're not telling me?
Shampoo: Why would you say that?
Raichi: No reason. Excuse me.

Raichi pushes ahead. Shampoo catches up to her.

Shampoo: Hold it! You don't leave a question like that hanging.
Raichi: You have the weirdest circle of friends I've ever seen. Either
that... or the most *convenient*. I mean, all you need now is a
stockbroker and a lawyer or two and you could have the makings of...
Shampoo: We grew up together.

...Which wasn't entirely true. The Knight Sabers *had* known each other
throughout many parts of their lives, but they had never really been a group
until Akane brought them together.
Raichi merely smiles.

Shampoo: <I wonder if she knows something...>

[Editor's note: Okay, we admit it. Our normal translator isn't really on
vacation, just incredibly drunk.]

Meanwhile...

Ranma: What was all that about?
Ryouga: Yeah!
Sayuri: I wouldn't mind knowing, either.
Akane: Search me. It probably had something to do with the plot.
Ranma, Ryouga, Sayuri: ............
Akane: (to Sayuri) So, you mentioned you wanted to start a restaurant of your
own? Who else do you have working with you?
Sayuri: (absently) Right now, it's just me and Yuka. We had three others with
us but they were... caught up in other problems.
Akane: I've always thought of opening my own restaurant.

If Akane had been paying closer attention, she might have heard Ryouga and
Ranma gasp in shock.

Sayuri: How are you at cooking?
Akane: I wouldn't say I'm that great...
Ranma: <Neither would I.>
Akane: ...but so far, I haven't had any complaints.

Ranma was seriously thinking about giving her a few complaints.

Ranma: Akane's too busy these days to open her own restaurant.

Akane was paying too much attention to Sayuri to notice how quickly Ranma
had jumped in with that comment.

Akane: I'm afraid she's right. I barely have time to cook a meal for my
friends, let alone myself... and my brother.

Ryouga breathes a sigh of relief, and this time, Akane notices it.

Akane: What was that for?
Ryouga: Oh, nothing.

* * * *

In the nights that follow, the same pair of mysterious shadowy figures strike
again and again, each time with only a single purpose in mind. The police, who
had yet to make any real progress on the case, always arrived one step behind
the criminals and were beginning to feel like MegaTokyo's largest underpaid
clean-up service.

* * * *

At AD Police Headquarters, Kunou was actually carrying his own paperwork for
once - *and* doing it, much to Shampoo's relief. Raichi, who had practically
become attached to Shampoo, was on the phone with her editor.

Kunou: These crimes disgust me. There's strong evidence to support the claim
that the criminals are boomers, and yet we AD Police stand around
doing nothing!

Shampoo paid him no attention and went on working at her terminal.

Kunou: Shampoo, have you made any progress on the case yet?
Shampoo: Does it *look* like I've made any progress?
Shampoo: It all sounds strange to me. Somebody breaks into a bunch of places
and all they take are things related to *tea*!?
Kunou: (assuming a thoughtful pose) Yes... tea bags, tea kettles, recipes for
tea... even everything associated with the tea ceremony.
Kunou: It seems someone wants very badly to make tea. But why?

Suddenly Shampoo remembers what Sayuri had said at the cafe.

Sayuri: ...Like the fact that I never learned how to make tea.
Shampoo: <Could there be a connection?>

She tries to picture Sayuri breaking into a restaurant and trashing the place.

Shampoo: <No. There can't be.>
Kunou: Well, keep trying. There's got to be something we've missed. And while
you're at it, see if you can find any more information about the theft
of that experimental mech Genom's being so secretive about.

Kunou leaves to hunt down Hikaru.
The phone rings.

Shampoo: (answering) Hello... Oh, hi, Akane. No, I keep drawing a blank on
Sayuri. I've run her picture through all the international
intelligence databases and I keep drawing a blank. Nothing. It's as
if she doesn't even exist.
Shampoo: By the way, you might want to check into those weird tea burglaries.
We've got evidence that suggests they might be boomer-related.
Shampoo: Okay. Tell Ukyou I'm buying dinner tonight, if she isn't still upset
over the bill from last time. Bye!

Raichi returns.

Raichi: Sheesh! That's the last time I ask HIM for a favor.
Raichi: This article's going to wind up being extremely boring! Shampoo, you've
got to help me.
Shampoo: How?
Raichi: Do something interesting.
Shampoo: (frowns) Why don't you go take a nap?
Raichi: My type never sleeps.
Shampoo: Well, why don't you and your type go over there and let me finish
what I'm doing here?
Raichi: Okay, I get the hint.
Raichi: Say, what was that I heard Kunou say about a theft from Genom?
Shampoo: Nothing... (sudden thought) hey, wait a minute, you've given me an
idea!

She turns back to her terminal. Raichi peers over her shoulder.

Shampoo: I hate it when people look over my shoulder.
Raichi: (grumbles) All right, all right. I'm going. Are you afraid I'm going
to steal trade secrets or something?

Shampoo leaves the question unanswered as she taps into the Genom computer
network. She feeds Sayuri's digitized picture in and hopes for a match.
Minutes later, she gets more than she'd expected.

>Possible matches: 1
>Retrieving file match... Please stand by...

File #427349GNB
Project: 3-3-S (Reference: A9-3)

Name: Sayuri
Age: N/A
Classification: 3-3-S Sexaroid Boomer
Status: Fugitive

Notes:
...Subject has proven herself to be unable to completely adapt to duties in
Food Service without further training and reprogramming, despite a strong
desire to keep trying. Subject also lacks the ability to make tea. A program
to solve this was created, but the subject escaped custody before reprogramming
could be accomplished. Subjects Sayuri and Yuka are currently at large with
one of our experimental mechs.
...Subject shows an extraordinary appreciation for anime, and an extreme
dislike of any anime poorly dubbed into English.
...Suggested course of action is to recapture and reprogram the subject
for a different line of work.

>See also:
> Kinu
> Michiko
> Ryoko
> Yuka

Shampoo calls up the primary reference.

Reference A9-3, Project 3-3-S

The 3-3-S Sexaroid Boomers were designed not only to fully simulate a living
human being, but also to present a high likability factor to those around it
so as to gain their trust. The current five 3-3-S models are being tested for
application in the service industries. Practical military uses are being
considered.

Shampoo's only thoughts are of one thing:

Shampoo: <Ranma!>
Shampoo: <She's in big trouble...>

She starts for the door.

Raichi: Hey! Don't go anywhere without me!
Shampoo: Uh...

Unsure of what to do, Shampoo pauses, aware that every second might mean the
difference between life or death for her friend and fellow Knight Saber.
And, in the middle of this predicament, a lone ADP recruit walks through.

Shampoo: Wills!
Wills: Hm?
Shampoo: (bringing Raichi over to Wills) I want you to keep an eye on Raichi,
here.
Wills: (leering at Raichi) Okay...
Shampoo: (large industrial-strength mallet) Not **THAT** kind of eye, baka!
Watch her and make sure she stays out of trouble!
Wills: ......

On the way out, Shampoo wonders if she's done the right thing.

Shampoo: <I'm going to have to do something unthinkable with his Personnel
file when I get back...>

* * * *

Having managed to sneak away from her escort, Raichi makes it outside in time
to see Shampoo's scooter disappearing into traffic.

Raichi: Taxi!!

A cab pulls up and Raichi scrambles inside.

Raichi: (pointing) Follow that scooter!
Driver: Miss, this is MegaTokyo, 2033 A.D., not some old movie or television
show. If you want a car chase, you've come to the wrong guy.
Raichi: I'll pay triple fare.
Driver: Works for me! (shifts into gear and starts after Shampoo)

[Editor's note: We've just found out that our normal translator has run off
with our head copywriter.]

* * * *

Shampoo reaches the Silky Doll as Akane is putting out the 'Closed' sign.

Akane: I was just about to call you. We're getting ready to intercept those
tea bandits.

They walk inside.

Shampoo: I need to talk to you about that...

She blurts out the whole story about Sayuri and Yuka, and about the tea.

Ranma: Liar!

Shampoo felt as if she'd been physically slapped. She hadn't noticed Ranma
standing there.

Shampoo: It's the truth!
Ranma: (stubbornly) Sayuri's my friend.
Shampoo: Yeah, well, your friend's a boomer! And...

Refusing to listen, Ranma leaves the room.

Shampoo: Hey, where're you going? Can't you accept the truth?

Akane puts a hand on Shampoo's shoulder to hold her back.

Akane: Let her be.

Off in the distance, a steady wave of applause passes, but no one cares.

* * * *

The mysterious figures strike again. But this time, the Knight Sabers appear
to block their escape route just before they can use it.
Ranma, who had sat in complete silence on the way there, steps forward to see
for herself who they're confronting.

Ranma: (taken aback) ...Sayuri... so, it is you. It's all true.
Sayuri: (shocked) Ranma...?
Yuka: Ranma? Then that means-

Sayuri quiets her.

Akane: Why are the two of you stealing things that have to do with tea?
Yuka: You don't understand! We have no choice!
Sayuri: Yuka!
Yuka: We want to open a restaurant of our own, but we don't know how to make
tea! We've tried, but we can't! We just can't!
Akane: So you've been taking all this stuff, but you still haven't been able
to make tea.
Yuka: (looking penitent) Yes.
Shampoo: But you didn't have to go to all this trouble! They were getting
ready to... upgrade you with a program that would allow you to make
tea before you escaped!
Sayuri: You don't know what it's like there. They were getting ready to turn
us into combat boomers... for all we know, they may already have done
that to our sisters!
Shampoo: They haven't. Or if they have, they haven't filed it yet.

The familiar flash of red and blue lights, sirens, and clapping tells all that
the police are arriving.

Ukyou: It's the police!

When the Knight Sabers turn back, they find that Sayuri and Yuka have
disappeared.

Shampoo: They've escaped!
Ukyou: We'll get 'em...
Ranma: .........
Akane: We'd better leave, ourselves.

The Knight Sabers fade into the night.

Kunou stands in the open door of his patrol car.

Kunou: Did you see that, Hikaru? The Knight Sabers are always one step
ahead of us.
Hikaru: It doesn't take that much, does it?

Fortunately for Hikaru, his comment is lost in another wave of clapping.

* * * *

The next afternoon sees Ranma pacing the floor of her trailer, too caught up
in her thoughts to sit down, having spent much of the morning searching for
Sayuri and Yuka with the other Knight Sabers.

The phone rings.

Ranma: Hello?
Yuka: It's me... Yuka.
Ranma: Yuka? Where are you?
Yuka: (nervous, frightened) ...It's Sayuri. She's gone off by herself in the
mech we took from Genom... gone to get that program for making tea from
the Processing Center.
Ranma: Where are you?
Yuka: Don't worry about me! Help Sayuri! I know she's going to get herself
killed!

Yuka hangs up.

Ranma: Yuka? Yuka! Oh, damn...

She dials Akane's number.

* * * *

At the Genom Processing Center, Sayuri blasts the weak boomers guarding the
entrance to the lab where the program disk she's come for is being kept. She
pushes the door open. Two lab technicians look up at her in surprise.

Lab Tech: What the...? It's her... the 3-3-S boomer! Sound the-

She blasts both of them.

Sayuri: Don't worry. You're only stunned. The only thing I want to do today
is make tea.

Sayuri rifles the files until she finds what she's looking for. The alarm
sounds - for a second Sayuri wondered if she had tripped a hidden alarm in the
filing system, but she figures that one of the boomers in the hall had finally
managed to sound an alarm.
She was right - one of the dead boomers' hands rested squarely on the alarm
button. Looking down the corridors, she could see no one coming. She clenched
the disk tightly in her hand and chose a path, gun at the ready.

* * * *

Ryouga plays his part as occasional driver for the Knight Sabers by ferrying
them to the Processing Center.

Ukyou: (to Ranma) Why do you care if this boomer lives or dies? I thought
you hated boomers.
Ranma: Sayuri's no ordinary boomer.

Once Ranma is out of earshot, Shampoo completes the sentence.

Shampoo: ...She and Ranma are friends.
Ukyou: (snorts) Yeah, right. I hope they remember that when they're staring
down each others' weapons.

* * * *

The Knight Sabers arrive at the Processing Center.

Ukyou: I don't see any activity.
Akane: Shampoo?
Shampoo: (running scan routines) Already on it. Looks like some kind of
shootout is taking place in the right wing of the main building.
Ranma: (impatient) What are we waiting for? Let's get in there!
Akane: We'll split up. I'll bet my training Sayuri knows the building layouts
better than any of us, so if we try to go after her all at once we'll
miss her entirely.
Ranma, Shampoo, Ukyou: Okay!

* * * *

Sayuri picked off three more targets; she wondered how the Genom crew had
found her so easily. Maybe she had some sort of signal device concealed within
her. But that made no sense - wouldn't they have found her a *lot* sooner if
she did?
She heard the sound of firefights somewhere else in the building. Either Yuka
had come even after being told not to, or the Knight Sabers had come - most
likely on Yuka's behalf.
Of course, there was also the possibility that her sisters were staging a
revolt of their own, but she knew she couldn't count on that chance.
Well, whoever they were, they were fighting against the same people she was.

Voice: (over bullhorn) If you give yourself up now, you will not be hurt.

In other words, Sayuri thought, we don't want to hurt you since you're
officially the property of Genom.

Sayuri: You've got to be kidding!

She takes out a guard angling for a better shot at her. A laser cuts neatly
through the sleeve of her jumpsuit but leaves her unharmed.
She decides to move toward the other firefight she'd detected.

* * * *

The firefight in question was Ukyou and Shampoo facing off against a squad of
the large boomers Sayuri had to get past when she escaped.

Ukyou: We're not dealing with stupid people here - they were smart enough to
send the big guns after us!

The boomers move to overrun their position. Ukyou's shots are painfully
ineffective.

Shampoo: Maybe, maybe not. I think I may have found a weak spot on those
damned things. Relaying the info to your targeting system now...

The information flashing across Ukyou's visor brings a wicked smile to her
face, one that Shampoo can almost picture.

Shampoo: Have fun!

Which Ukyou does, using her laser ribbons to neatly slice each of the boomers
in their weak spots. All of the boomers collapse into a neat pile on the
floor.
Ukyou makes a motion as if to wipe her brow.

Ukyou: That was easy. (broadcasting over her externals) Is that the best you
can do?

To answer her question, a squad of *even larger* boomers show up.

Shampoo, Ukyou: ......
Shampoo: You just HAD to open your big mouth, didn't you!?

Ukyou takes a swipe at Shampoo with her spatula.

* * * *

Sayuri edged down corridor after corridor, coming closer to the firefight,
which seemed to grow louder with every few steps. Thankfully no one was around
to give her any trouble - they must all have been preoccupied with the
fighting.
Ranma calls to her from a short distance back.

Ranma: Sayuri!!

Sayuri whips about instantly, her gun in Ranma's face as the Knight Saber
catches up.

Ranma: (undaunted) Sayuri... thank goodness I've found you.
Sayuri: Ranma...
Sayuri: (avoiding Ranma's gaze) Don't try to stop me.
Ranma: I don't want to stop you - I want to *help* you!
Sayuri: Help... me? Why? You're supposed to be trying to stop us!
Ranma: Damn it, Sayuri, I'd like to think we're friends! And friends are
supposed to help each other!
Sayuri: You still think of me as a friend? ...After all that's happened?
Ranma: Yes. That's why we came here to help you.
Sayuri: (readying her gun) Then we'd better move it. It sounds like the others
are in a lot of trouble.
Ranma: Did you get what you came for?
Sayuri: (puts her hand over her jumpsuit pocket) Right here.

[Editor's note: Apparently someone in Advertising had something to do with the
liason between our normal translator and our head copywriter. We'll keep you
informed on the results of the internal investigation as well as any job
openings.]

* * * *

Another boomer chases Akane through the halls.

Akane: (radioing Shampoo and Ukyou) Heads up, you two! I'm bringing company
your way!
Ukyou: Oh, sure, join the party! We've got troubles of our own, you know!
Akane: Okay.

A set of double doors locked with chains bars Akane's way to the battleground.
But not for long. Akane shoulder-rams through them just as her pursuer fires
an array of rockets at her, and winds up literally flipping through the middle
of the battleground.

Shampoo, Ukyou: ...!
Shampoo: Would you cut that out?!? This ISN'T the time to be showing off!
Akane: Thank you so *very* much.

Ukyou: (to Shampoo) Don't those things have a weak spot?
Shampoo: None that I can see.

One of the boomers attacks by throwing a series of wooden dojo signs like
shuriken. They slice through the air just millimeters from Shampoo's head and
imbed themselves neatly in the wall behind her one after the other.

Ranma and Sayuri burst in from the opposite end of the battleground.

Ranma: Mind if we join in the excitement?
Ukyou: Why not? Everyone ELSE is!

The fighting stops dead for a few seconds as a steady wave of clapping passes
the building.

The Knight Sabers and Sayuri regroup.

Shampoo: (tiredly) We've hit them with everything we've got, but they keep
coming!
Sayuri: That's because these are the new 'Dojo Yaburi'-model boomers. You
can't defeat them by conventional means.
Akane: That leaves us with only one option...
Ranma: Our martial arts training!
Shampoo: Right!
Ranma: I'll take care of this.
Akane: (figuring what Ranma has in mind) Are you sure you want to do this?
Ranma: There's no other way.
Sayuri: (worried) No other way... Ranma, what are you going to do?
Ranma: (to Sayuri) Don't worry. Everything'll be all right.

Ranma steps out from the cover. As the boomers converge on her she unleashes
her final blow.

Ranma: (yelling) HIRYUU SHOUTENHA!!!!

Ranma's windstorm consumes the boomers, the guards, the building... and keeps
going. It explodes forth from the building, uprooting the entire Processing
Center, ripping it into tiny shreds that are carried high into the air.

When Ranma, the other Knight Sabers and Sayuri open their eyes, they are
greeted with the sight of completely leveled ground paved end-to-end with
debris.

Ranma takes off her helmet and rushes to Sayuri's side.

Ranma: Sayuri, are you all right?
Sayuri: I'm fine - I think. Heh, you'll have to teach me that trick someday.

The other Knight Sabers take off their helmets, assuming that no one else is
close enough to see who they are.
They are unaware, however, that a camera is taking telephoto shots of them
from a distance.

Raichi zooms in for a closer look at the Knight Sabers' faces.

Raichi: I was right! Shampoo is one of the Knight Sabers...

All at once she hears a sound somewhere above her. She looks up... to see that
she's right in the path of a sharp stalactite-like piece of debris falling
back to Earth.

Panicking, she leaves her camera behind as she leaps away - and watches,
horrified, as the stalactite pierces her camera, completely destroying it.

Raichi: (saddened) My camera... my camera...

She looks back toward the Knight Sabers, even though she can no longer tell
them apart from the rest of the distant blurry shapes. Shampoo might have been
able to detect the commotion with her helmet on, but as such Raichi was
thankful none of them were wearing their helmets.

Akane: Now you and Yuka can open your restaurant in peace.
Sayuri: But how?
Akane: We can help you obtain new identities and set up shop somewhere outside
MegaTokyo.
Sayuri: I don't know what to say. We owe you so much... especially you, Ranma.
Ranma: I didn't do *that* much.
Sayuri: More than you know.

Ukyou: I don't mean to pry, but whatever happened to that experimental mech
you and Yuka took?
Sayuri: (looks back to where she had left it) It's probably been destroyed.
Shampoo: What was it? Some new kind of powered suit for military use?
Ukyou: A prototype for a deadly new weapon?
Sayuri: ...A golf cart for the Principal's personal use.

* * * *

[Editor's note: I'd like to personally apologize for any notes you may have
seen here about our usual translator and head copywriter - it seems we have a
co-editor with a bit of spare time on his hands and a bit of an infatuation
for the head copywriter. We apologize for any inconvenience this might have
caused.]

* * * *

After a few days, business at AD Police Headquarters has returned to normal.
Another one of the new recruits sticks her head in the door of the computer
room Shampoo works in to give her a message.

Recruit: Shampoo, you've got a visitor.
Shampoo: Be right there...

Shampoo is surprised to find Raichi waiting for her.

Shampoo: So, how did your article turn out?
Raichi: Fine. Not as great as I'd hoped it would be, but...

Raichi hands Shampoo an envelope.

Raichi: Here.
Shampoo: What's this?
Raichi: I just thought you might like to have some shots of you and the other
Knight Sabers in action.
Shampoo: (acting confused) 'Me and the other Knight Sabers?' What are you
talking about?
Raichi: I was at the Processing Center when you destroyed it. I had some
close-ups of all of you without your headgear... until my camera was
destroyed.
Shampoo: ......

Raichi: Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.
Shampoo: Why?
Raichi: Because of all the people I've been... 'assigned to,' and anyone who's
been close to me, you didn't tell me you never wanted to see me again.
I was hoping we could be friends.
Shampoo: Okay, sure, but what about Ranma?
Raichi: Well... I could always sic Jasmine on her.
Shampoo: Jasmine?
Raichi: Trust me, you don't want to know.

Raichi: Now are you sure you're not doing this just so I won't go blabbing the
secret of the Knight Sabers to everyone I can find?
Shampoo: Absolutely. Say, you wanna have lunch this afternoon?
Raichi: Why not? See you later.

Raichi leaves. Shampoo carries the envelope back with her to her station,
unsure of what to do with it. Unfortunately, that also left it in plain sight
for Linlin and Ranran to see.

Linlin: What do you have there?
Ranran: Pictures?
Linlin: Of what?
Ranran: Boys?
Linlin, Ranran: (in unison) Can we see?

Shampoo sighs.

-------------------------------------------------
CREDITS:

Special Guest Appearance by David Wills (Fidonet's own Raving Hentai Lunatic)

Special thanks to: (in alphabetical order, or something strongly resembling it)
Drew Hurlstone, Trinh Tran, David Wills, Carl Yan, and all the fans of the
Bubblegum Splash! series (all ONE of you... okay, okay, I'm only kidding),
as well as those mysterious 'others' I keep referring to in these
sections...

Sincere apologies to:
the people behind Ranma 1/2 (especially Rumiko Takahashi), Bubblegum
Crisis/Crash! (especially Kenichi Sonoda), Ghost Sweeper Mikami (Takeshi
Shiina). And, a special humble, sincere apology to the people behind the
'Clapper.'
As for any MST3K references I may have inadvertently put in...

... Push the button, Frank. <click!>

***********************************************************************
* Mike "Ranma Saotome" Koos * ... It's even better with the 3-D *
* (AKA "Ayumi Fujimura") * glasses on! I feel like I'm really *
* ------------------------- * here! *
* FIDOnet : 1:203/955 * - Crow T. Robot, Mystery Science *
* Internet: ra...@aco.com * Theater 3000 *
***********************************************************************