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[fanfic] Ranma 1/2 'A Once and Future Akane'

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Isabel Arantes

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Nov 15, 1995, 3:00:00 AM11/15/95
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A Once and Future Akane, part 1



[Morning, the Tendo Dojo]

Akane: (Thrusting a lunch box to Nabiki) Here, oneechan!

Nabiki: Akane! (Looking at the lunch box) You didn't, uh,
cook this, did you? (Akane nods happily)

Akane: Enjoy! (Drops it into Nabiki's hands, and runs off,
another lunch box in her arms) Ranma!

Nabiki: (Looking at it carefully) How could I use this to my
advantage...? (Some yells are heard from the hallway,
obviously Ranma is objecting to Akane's hard work)

Akane: I woke up extra early to make this! You can't say no!

Ranma: Do you hate me so much that you're trying to kill me?!

Akane: BAKA! (A smashing sound is heard, and she stomps
back into the porch. Her hands are empty except for a
backpack) C'mon, oneechan, let's not wait for Ranma.
(Nabiki goes along, seeing it's better not to bother Akane
right now)

(Cut to hallway, where Ranma is lying on the ground, his hands
in 'hurt' sign, leg twitching and the shattered remains of his lunch
made by Akane lunch around him)

[Akane and Nabiki walking to school]

Akane: (Thought) Baka baka baka baka baka baka ba-

Nabiki: What, mad at Ranma again?

Akane: (Brisquly) Of course I am!
Nabiki: What did he do this time?

Akane: You heard us; he refused to eat the lunch I worked hard
at making!

Nabiki: I thought you'd look happy.

Akane: Why's that?

Nabiki: To quote Kuno, 'Happiness lies solely in cooking for the
man she loves'.

Akane: What are you trying to say?

Nabiki: Why, that you're happy when you're cooking for Ranma.

Akane: AM NOT! And I don't cook only for Ranma! I cook for
you, and Kasumi, and dad, and Ryoga-

Nabiki: So you love Ryoga then?

Akane: Of course I don't love him!

Voice: Nihao! (A bicycle ridden by Shampoo appears out of
nowhere, She looks around, confused) Where Ranma?

Akane: He, uh, went to Kuno's mansion.

Shampoo: Really? Why he go?

Akane: (Bored) He's going to marry Kodachi.

Shampoo: AIYAA!! Shampoo go stop wedding! (Pedals off
screen, swishing some leaves around the two Tendo sisters)

Nabiki: *cough* *cough* You're not a good mood today,
are you?

Akane: Not at all.

[Midday, Lunch at school]

Nabiki: Oh, Kuno-baby...

Kuno: And for what do you seek me out today,
Nabiki Tendo?

Nabiki: Kuno, I've got the best deal for you.

Kuno: I am not interested.

Nabiki: Oh, I guess then that you don't want this that Akane
made for you.

Kuno: Lunch? For me? Made by the hands of the beauteous
Tendo Akane?

Nabiki: Yeah, but she was too shy to give it herself, so she
asked me to give it to you instead.

Kuno: Ah, how long have I awaited this day; when Akane
would realize her love for the great Kuno Tatewaki!
The joy is almost too grand for even myself to bear!

Nabiki: (Giving his the lunch box) Here. Enjoy.
(Kuno takes it, and starts eating joyfully)

Girl: What? You didn't ask him to pay for it?

Nabiki: Believe me, this may be one of my better ideas.
I'll get paid soon enough. (Akane walks into classroom)
Akane? What are you doing here?

Akane: I've come to see how you're (Looks over at Kuno,
her voice slowly dropping) liking... my... lunch.... (Looks a
little longer) Nabiki, what's Kuno doing with my lunch?

Nabiki: Well,-

Kuno: (Clutching at stomach) Tendo Akane, can it be that you
have come to relish in my presence? I must be truly blessed today!
(Turns a little green) If you would excuse me but for a moment.
(To Nabiki) I do not want to ask you for this, but are you carrying
any stomach antacid? It appears one of my sister's poisons is only
now taking eff- (Akane hits him with a desk)

Akane: You _sold_ my lunch to _Kuno_? It was for you, not that
idiot! (Really upset now) Why doesn't ANYBODY appreciate the
hard work I put into making your lunches!

Kuno: (Awake now) Tendo Akane, I thank you for- (Akane steps
on his face, leaving a footprint mark)

Ranma: Because you can't cook.

Akane: (Boots him) Don't sneak up on me!

Ranma: (Flipping midair) It's true, though. Until you learn
how to cook, no one's ever going to want to eat it.

Akane: How will you know how good it is until you try it!

Ranma: (Pointing to Kuno with his thumb) He look too healthy
to you?

Akane: Why you- (Takes a desk and _REALLY_ smashes him)
If you hate my lunches so much, why don't you just leave me alone!
(Throws a beat-up Ranma out the window, and stomps out the room)

Ranma: (Bruised and dented. The bell rings, signing the end of lunch)
Yay. (Hears an eerie laughter) Huh?

Kodachi: Ho ho ho ho! Ranma-sama, I'm so happy! I'd love
to marry you!

Ranma: What are you talking about?!

Kodachi: Why, I heard it from one of my nemesis today
that you are going to my mansion to wed me!

Ranma: I'm doing no such thing!

Voice: _WHAT_ is this?

Ranma: (Thought) Not Akane, please not Akane... (Turns
around to see Ukyou) Uh oh.

Ukyou: Ranma, how can you go off and marry Kodachi?
Don't you love _me_?

Kodachi: Ranma-sama is all mine now! (Grabs one of his arms)

Ukyou: (Narrowing eyes) Let go of him, Kodachi.

Voice: No take husband!

Ranma: (Thought) Please don't it be Akane or Shampoo.
(Another person takes his other arm. It's Shampoo)

Shampoo: Evil girl no marry Ranma!. Already married Shampoo!

Kodachi: Don't use your amazon laws on me, you savage hussy!
He wants to marry me!

Shampoo: You know no what talking about! He already
claim love to me!

Kodachi: Only in your dreams.

Ranma: Could you two, uh, let go of me?

Shampoo and Kodachi: NO!

Ukyou: (Seeing things are getting out of hand)
C'mon you two, you're not going to get anywhere
by pulling Ranchan apart. (They continue arguing)
All right, you asked for this! (Takes out her
spatula and hits Shampoo, then Kodachi,
who were too busy fighting to notice)

Ranma: Er, thanks Ucchan.

Ukyou: (Helping him up) So what was this about
you marrying Kodachi?

Ranma: (Irritated) Where on earth did you get the
idea that I'M MARRYING KODACHI?! (Akane
walks out of the school, just in time to hear the last bit)
Ranma starts waving his hands wildly) Akane, it's not
what you think!

Akane: Marrying Kodachi, huh? (Picks up Shampoo's bonbori)
Well, don't let ME get in your way to happiness!
(Bashes Ranma's head, hmphs, and stomps back to where
her friends are)

[The scene fades with Ukyou shaking her head while picking up
Ranma]

[After school, shopping district]

Akane: (Thought) Ranma, you jerk! I'll cook something so good
that not even you could say a bad thing about it! (Hugs the
grocery bag she's holding, and we hear metal being squeezed)

Kasumi: (Also holding a grocery bag) Akane, please don't hold
the bags so tightly, you might crush the cans again.

Akane: ...

Kasumi: Oh my, isn't that Ranma by the fountain? (Looks to a
person sitting on the edge of a fountain)

Akane: That guy? I don't think s- wait a minute,
it is him.

(He's wearing a purple Chinese shirt, instead
of the red one he had on that morning. His
braid is not supporting itself in mid-air as it
usually is, it's hanging down like any normal
braid would. Almost as if he was depressed.
His head can barely be seen, it's hanging
down so low)

Kasumi: (Waving) Ranma, will you help us
carry these groceries?

Ranma: .... (No response; as if he hadn't
heard her)

Kasumi: Ranma?

Akane: Hey, you lame-brain, my sister's asking
you to come help us carry these bags! (Ranma's
shoulders seemed to tense at the sound of
Akane's voice. Slowly, he turns to look at their
direction. His eyes widen)

Ranma: A.... Akane?

Akane: (Irately) If you don't wan to help us,
then say so!

Ranma: (Shaking his head in disbelief)
Is it really you?

Akane: (Angrier now) I'm not Megumi Hayashibara,
if that's what you mean.

Ranma: No... it can't be.... (Starts walking backwards,
and falls into the fountain, and the clonck of his head
hitting concrete is heard)

Kasumi: Oh, my.

Akane: Ranma!

[Scene fades as Akane dropping her groceries and
running to the fountain.]


[Afternoon, Ranma's room]

Akane: (Checking Ranma-chan's forehead, who's laid
out on his futon, unconscious)

(Memory)
Ranma: Akane... it can't be you... (Falling into fountain
behind him)
(End memory)

Akane: (Thought) What's gotten into you, Ranma? Did
I hit you so hard that I you got even more brain damage?
(Looks at the still Ranma-chan) Please be all right.

Nabiki: (From the doorway) So, what did you do Ranma now?

Akane: I didn't do anything! The idiot's putting up some act to
annoy me.

Nabiki: You sure you didn't do anything more to him than to
smash his head with a desk?

Akane: Well, I hit him with one of Shampoo's bonbori because
I thought he said he was going to marry Kodachi.

Nabiki: (Looking at her strangely) Weren't you the one that said that?

Akane: (Blushes) Ah, shuddap Nabiki.

Nabiki: (Shrugging) Your mistake, not mine. And by the way,
from what Kasumi's told me, I don't think Ranma's pretending this
time. He's a lousy actor, especially when he's angry. Ja ne. (Leaves)

Akane: (Muttering) Aw, what does she know? (Brushing
some hair off Ranma-chan's forehead)...

Ranma-chan: (Blinking) Hmmm. (Akane quickly pulls her
hand away. Ranma-chan puts her arms under her head,
starring up into the ceiling) Thanks, Kasumi.

Akane: -

Ranma-chan: (Sadly) I thought I saw Akane just now. I
wish I'd stop ding her, it's annoying. Seems like my mind
can't get over the fact that she's gone now.

Akane: (Surprised) ....

Ranma-chan: I wonder why I do that. (Smirking) Maybe
I want to tell her I feel, even though it's too late?

Akane: (This is too much for her) What the hell are you
talking about!

Ranma-chan: (Pales, and jumps about twenty feet backwards)
NO! Not _ you_ again!

Akane: What's wrong with you, Ranma? Have you gotten
a phobia against me, too?

Ranma-chan: (Slowly nodding her head) Ohhhhhh, now I get it!
You're Nabiki, dressing up as Akane! (Sits on the futon, leaning
towards Akane) Well, Nabiki, let me tell you this: THIS IS NOT
FUNNY! STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH ME! I HAVE
FEELINGS TOO, YOU KNOW!

Akane: (Drives fist into his head) Could Nabiki hit you as hard
as this?

Ranma-chan: (Rubbing her head) Geez, Nabiki, you
really put some effort into making yourself like Akane,
I've got to hand it to you. You might be able to
fool Kuno, but it ain't gonna work on me!

Akane: Idiot! Do I look like Nabiki to you?

Ranma-chan: (Looking closer) No, but I know what
sort of stuff you can pull out of your bag. Doesn't make
sense, though. Why are you trying so hard to hurt me,
anyway?

Akane: (Pointing to her face) This is _REAL_. This is
NOT a mask.

Ranma-chan: (Touching her chin) Where'd you get this
stuff, Nabi- (Akane punches her again)

Akane: What do you think you're doing?!

Nabiki: (Walking by the doorway) Fighting again?

Ranma-chan: (Looks at Nabiki) Ga.... (Looks at Nabiki)
Ba.... (Keeps switching her head to look at both. She stops)
AH! Who's trying so hard to trick me?!

Nabiki: What's with him?

Akane: Don't ask me.

Ranma-chan: (Wailing) Why do you keep asking what's wrong
with _me_?! You're the ones that keep bothering me with
fake Akanes! Can't you get it into your heads, that she's
GONE?!?

Nabiki: I think he's lost it.

Akane: (Nodding) Hmm.

Nabiki: I've better things to do than to stick around with a
lunatic and his fiancee. Ta ta.

Akane: Wait, oneechan, don't leave me alone with him! (Too late)

Ranma-chan: Who are you, anyway?

Akane: I'm Akane. A-ka-ne. Got a problem with that?

Ranma-chan: Yes.

Akane: (Throws her hands up in the air) What makes you think
I'm 'gone'?

Ranma-chan: I'd rather not talk about it.

Akane: (Impatient) Ranma, this joke went stale a long
time ago.

Ranma-chan: That's what _I_ should be saying! (Her
eyes get a little wet) It's hard enough as it is! I don't need
you guys rubbing it in my face that I was never nice to
her. I've apologized to her ten billion times! And I'll do it
again! Just leave me alone already!

Akane: (Trying a different approach) Look, Ranma.
What about me looks like I'm somebody else?

Ranma-chan: (Miserably) Nothing. You look just like her.

Akane: (Gently) Ok then, why do you think I'm not Akane?

Ranma-chan: It's impossible. It's completely and totally
impossible.


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