Ranma FanFict- Ranma 100/th <Normal>

[Greywolf]

Ranma 1/100th
Vol 1: A Date That Will Live in Infamy
Chapter 1

Author's Notes:

Produced by: Horde O' Hentai Productions, Literature Division
Darren Demaine: Chairman of the Horde, Flounder
Lee (Grey Wolf): Pun Minister, Lead Fuzzy
Rob (Barbarian): P.U. Officer, Moral Corruptor
Series Concept: Darren Demaine
Written by: Darren Demaine (Skull 13, Macross Air Group;
Laughing Freeman [Crying's evil twin];
the Overfiend's sex therapist)
Person whom the author is copying in a vain attempt to write
anything good: Takahashi Rumiko-no-megamisama

This is my first attempt at a normal fan-fic, and we'll see
how it goes. I am the writer for the Ranma .05 lemon series and am
now hoping to branch out into main-stream work as well.
Don't confuse my two universes: Ranma 1/100th is a normal
continuum, sort of like the actual Ranma 1/2 series. The Ranma .05
is an on-going lemon series that involves an entirely different
existence. The two do not cross over.
The first story line, "A Date That Will Live in Infamy" will
probably run 4 to 6 chapters. (I have the basic plot done, I'm
making the rest up as I go along.)
For comments, suggestions, praises, flames, threats, marriage
proposals, etc., leave mail at [Grey...@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca].
Know before hand that I AM NOT GREY WOLF!! I AM ONLY USING HIS
ADDRESS!!
Note: This fan-fic is set in the Ranma 1/2 universe.
However, you should know that I will throw in gags from Aa!
Megamisama (Oh My Goddess!), Tenchi Muyou, KOR, Ribbon Princess,
and Sailor Moon if I can manage it. Also, I will be stealing
shamelessly from more anime, TV, literature, movies, and other fan-
fics as well. If you read something you think came from somewhere
else, it probally did. This is intended as homage to the writers
(and keeps me from taxing my limited brain cells. :])
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[openning credits scroll by as the theatre lights dim]

Checking his reflection against the mirror, Ranma gave his
cap one last shove until it was at just the right jaunty angle. He
was dressed in his green Communist suit, with the red star hat.
For once, his hair was brushed and he actually looked presentable.
Behind him, Saotome Genma looked on proudly. "Well Ranma my
boy, I'm glad to see that you're taking this date with Akane-kun
seriously. Before you always managed to find some excuse, but
admit it; you're starting to like her."
"Not likely," replied Ranma sourly. "The only reason Akane
and I agreed to this is because it gets us out of the house for an
evening. Anything, even a date with that tomboy, is better then
listening to you and Tendo-ojisan rant and rave about our supposed
relationship. If this shuts you old windbags up for a night, it's
worth it."
Genma grabbed his son's shoulders and turned him around.
"Just remember, Ranma! As a man, it's your duty to show Akane-kun
a good time! The whole future of your marriage to her could very
well depend on this date!"
Looking annoyed, Ranma broke his father's grip. "You're
starting to sound like Akane's father. I can understand why he's
so desperate about this date. I mean, does he really think he can
unload that kawaikune girl off on anyone? If I was him, I'd accept
the fact that no one is ever going to be stupid enough to marry
her."
Turning away from his dad, Ranma picked up a bundle of flowers
that were waiting by the door. As he started to leave, Genma
called out. "Wait! You should take more than just flowers!"
Ranma looked back, confused. "Really? Normally girls just
fall all over me," he smirked. "Explains why Akane doesn't like
me: she's not normal."
"When I was dating your mother, I always brought a gift to our
dates," Genma pushed on.
"You and Mom; yeah, that's a great example to follow for a
winning relationship. Anyway, I don't have time to go get
anything."
Looking smug, Genma pulled a shopping bag out from behind his
back. "Lucky for you, I thought of everything." He handed the bag
over to his son. "With this, I guarantee that you'll sweep her off
her feet!"
Curious, Ranma took the bag and looked inside. "Let's
see...some fresh fish, a few bottles of sake...," his voice started
to trail off. "...a bolt of cloth..." Words failing him, Ranma
just stared at the bag. An angry look worked it's way onto his
face; he slowly raised a clenched fist.
"BAKA OYAJI!!" He shouted as he started to attack his father.
"These are betrothal gifts!! This is suppose to be a date, not an
engagement!!"

* * *

In her room, Akane was checking her reflection in the long
mirror Kasumi had set up. She was wearing a midnight blue, short-
sleeved dress. She was a little unsure about the skirt, which
hugged her hips and snugly followed her legs down to the knees.
The whole style was more mature then what she usually wore, and she
kept turning to see herself in the mirror.
Kasumi finished hemming the dress and smiled up at her. "Ah,
you look lovely Akane-chan. I'm sure that Ranma-kun will be unable
to take his eyes off you tonight."
Akane made a face. "I don't think so. As you can hear, he
seems more interested in beating up his father than in the date.
I don't know why I'm even bothering to dress up for that jerk. All
he ever does is chase after other women." She turned to view
herself from a new angle. "And I don't see why we have to meet in
the park. I mean, we live in the same house."
"It's unlucky to start such an event from your home," Kasumi
said philosophically; the real reason she kept to herself. Nabiki
had suggested it as a way to get those two out of the house and
prevent either of them from backing out at the last moment. Kasumi
straightened the dress one last time and stepped back to smile at
her little sister. Akane turned to look at herself in the mirror
once more; pleasantly amazed by what she saw. The style and design
of the dress did made her look more mature and elegant. The tomboy
that Ranma made fun of was totally hidden, replaced by this
fetching image.
Attaching her earrings and picking up her handbag, Akane took
one last look at herself, then headed out the door. She passed by
the Saotome's room, ignoring the sound of heavy furniture being
thrown around, and went downstairs. Her father was waiting in the
entryway.
"Akane," he said in a calm, stoic voice. "I trust you will be
back at a decent hour. Just be yourself and I'm sure everything
will turn out fine."
Akane nodded as she slipped her low heels on. She turned to
her father and sister, "I'll see you later."
Soun nodded once, then broke out into a geyser of tears. "My
little baby is growing up!"
From under the protection of an umbrella, Kasumi smiled.
"Good luck, Akane-chan."
Akane waved and left. A few seconds later, a bruised panda
came down the stairs. Soun stopped crying and the two fathers
looked at each other; then grinned, evilly. They both tore out of
the house and stealthfully started to follow Akane. Reaching the
corner, they carefully peered around it.
To see a very annoyed Akane staring straight back at them.
"Otosan...Ojisama..." she threatened. The two quickly beat a hasty
retreat back to the safety of the dojo.

* * *

"Komban-wa Ukyou-chan!"
Ukyou turned at the call and smiled. "Hi there Nabiki-
sempai."
Nabiki walked up to the younger girl and looked down at the
box she was carrying. "Doing a delivery for your restaurant?"
Ukyou nodded, "All part of running a business." Something
about Nabiki's smile at the word 'business' made Ukyou feel
uncomfortable. Unnerved, she asked where Nabiki was off to.
"Oh, I just want to get home in time to see Akane off on her
date with Ranma-kun," Nabiki replied lazily. Ukyou froze.
"Akane-chan and Ran-chan have a date?" she asked, carefully.
Nabiki nodded. Ukyou released the straps on her giant spatula and
gripped it in hand. Mind occupied with other things, she handed
the delivery off to Nabiki. "Can you deliver this for me?
Thanks," she said and started to jump away, without waiting for a
reply.
Nabiki, with a lazy grin, watched Ukyou's figure vanish over
the rooftops of Tokyo; then she turned her attention to the
delivery in her hands. "Pity; she forgot to give me the address;
and it would be a shame to let this food go to waste."
Others might balk at selling out their own sister for food,
but Nabiki had faith in Akane's abilities. Besides, she was
hungry.

* * *

"What?!" shouted Kuno, his voice echoing through the vast hall
of the Kuno family residence.
Head bowed, Sasuke continued. "It is true, Tatewaki-sama. As
you ordered, I was spying on Saotome and overheard that he has
agreed to a date with Tendo Akane."
Instantly standing, Kuno had his sword in hand. "Never, ever
will I, Kuno Tatewaki, 17 years old, the 'Blue Thunder' of Furinkan
High; allow such a travesty of justice to occur. Be brave my dear
Akane! Your saviour is on his way!" With that, Kuno tore out of
the room.
Sasuke sighed. "Well, at least Kodachi-sama doesn't know
about it," he muttered.
"Know about what?" a feminine voice asked. Sasuke paled and
looked up to see Kuno Kodachi standing there.
"Uh...nothing Kodachi-sama...If you don't mind, I have some
chores tha-"
The business end of a naginata suddenly slid in under his
nose. "Spill the beans," Kodachi said in a pleasant voice full of
promised malice, "or I spill your guts."

* * *

"Shampoo, why won't you go out on a date with me?" whined
Mousse.
Lugging a bucket of water into the Neko-kan, Shampoo was
trying to ignore Mousse. "Shampoo remain free in case Ranma ask
Shampoo to date."
"But Shampoo," Mousse pleaded, "Ranma is on a date with Tendo
Akane today."
At that, Shampoo turned (too quickly, spraying water around).
"Ai-yah! Shampoo have to save Ranma from that violent girl! Then
Ranma happily take Shampoo to date!" That said, she ran off down
the street.
A wet duck worked its way out of the robes that had fallen on
it. After a moment's depression, fire reflected in the duck's
glasses. As he started to fly away, Mousse knew his mission: kill
the one who had enslaved his Shampoo's heart.

* * *

Sitting high up on the top of a lamppost above the storm
ditch, Ukyou watched as Akane walked unknowingly towards her. As
much as she liked Akane, Ran-chan was *her* fiancee, and she would
let no one get between them.
Noting the new dress her opponent wore, Ukyou began to get the
germ of a brilliant idea. <It would be a terrible shame if
something happened to that nice dress,> Ukyou thought evilly. <I
mean, if my dress was ruined, I'd be too mortified to go on a date.
And if Akane doesn't show up, someone will have to comfort poor
Ran-chan.> Plan firmly in mind, Ukyou began to move; determined to
ruin Akane's chances without actually hurting her.
Also watching Akane get closer, the hidden Shampoo and Kodachi
had reached similar conclusions. But, in their plans, excessive
violence hadn't been ruled out. In fact, it was the central
feature.
Carefully, Ukyou readied three small spatula-shirikens; aimed
just right they would cause a tear in the skirt, sending Akane home
in tears. With an evil grin, Ukyou let fly the projectiles.
As she was walking, Akane suddenly got a premonition of
danger. A second later the familiar battle-cry, "Prepare yourself,
Tendo Akane!" echoed. Wheeling around, she saw Kodachi leaping
towards her with a vaulting horse held like a club.
Despite the shock, Akane was still able to jump away from the
strike as the horse shattered the concrete. Unnoticed to the
combatants, three spatulas embedded themselves into the horse.
"Kodachi! What the heck are you doing?! And why are you
attacking me with a vaulting horse? That's not used in rhythmic-
gymnastics!" Akane crouched down into a fighting stance.
"I know," Kodachi replied, stalking forwards. "I've moved on
to olympic gymnastics as well. I'm here to make sure that you will
be a sight of sore eyes for Ranma-sama. Once he sees how terrible
you look, he will be free to take me out for a date!"
[insert best bitch laugh in the business]
"Ranma no go date with you," Shampoo said as she busted
through a wall, wielding her maces. "After Shampoo beat both to
pulp, Ranma gladly take Shampoo to date."
Doing the hoe-ha-guard-turn-parry-dodge-spin thing with her
spatula, Ukyou jumped to the ground. "No way is anyone but me
going out with Ran-chan. I saw him first girls, he's mine."
The three armed women quickly fell into argument over which of
them got to beat up Akane and which would get to go out with Ranma.
An annoyed looking Akane watched for a moment, then used this
distraction to skulk away.
She got a significant distance before they realized she was
leaving. "Hey! We're not finished with you yet!" Ukyou and the
others started to give chase as Akane made a break for it.
Ukyou leapt into the air and fired off her giant spatula just
in front of the fleeing Akane. The razor-sharp blade spiderwebbed
the concrete as it sank ten centimetres into the ground and caused
Akane to check her running or crash into it. Kodachi used that
moment of advantage to snap a ribbon attack. The fabric wrapped
itself around Akane's ankle and Kodachi, laughing all the way,
pulled the Tendo girl to the ground. The three closed in, and
Shampoo leapt up, mace held for a flying jab. At the last second,
Akane rolled to the side and the mace cratered the concrete.
However, the pavement was already weakened from the spatula
strike. With a crack, a whole section fell away, carrying the
three wailing girls into the storm ditch.
Akane got to her feet, dusted herself off, and looked over the
broken fence. In the water down below, Ukyou, Kodachi, and a cat
were arguing about who's fault this was.

* * *

As Ranma walked on the fence, he was practicing his lines for
the date. "Ah...Akane, you look...you look...you look like
something the cat dragged in." He made a face. "No, that really
isn't good. Might be the truth, but not too good for tonight. I
need something else..."

"You are a girl to be viewed,
Someone to place upon a pedestal
So high, that to reach you
I would gladly die of asphyxiation."

"Nah...not my style," Ranma concluded. Then he realized that
he hadn't spoken those lines.
"That is how I feel about my dear Akane-kun," Kuno said he
pointed his sword at Ranma. "I will never allow such a ruffian
like you Saotome to ever dim the light from my precious diamond!"
With a mighty strike, Kuno caved in the wall under Ranma.
Already having leapt away, Ranma landed easily behind Kuno.
"Listen sempai," he began, "I really don't have time to play
with you today.." any more was lost as he began to dodge Kuno's
multi-strike.
"Quack! Quack! Quack!" was the only warning Ranma had;
fortunately, it was enough. With a drop to the ground, the flight
of knives released by the duck sailed over his head and smashed
into the wall. Mousse circled around for another attack as Ranma
rolled to his feet, a grin on his face. "This is certainly more
interesting then any dumb date with Akane."
The wall behind him exploded.
Through the dust, Ryoga stalked into view. "Ranma!! You have
a date with Akane-san?! Prepare to die!"
Ryoga thrust his umbrella at Saotome, but Ranma used the
weapon as a platform to handspring away. Annoyed, he asked,
"Anyone else going to show up?"
Keeping a few steps ahead of his attackers, Ranma tried to get
some room to fight. Mousse flew on ahead, circled around, and let
loose another flight of knives. Ranma stopped, sidekicked the
closely following Kuno, grabbed him as he bent over, and placed
Kuno in the path of the oncoming blades. With multiple THWACKs,
the knives struck.
Ranma dropped Kuno; who fell to the ground, his knife riddled
sword by his side. Ranma leapt into the air ahead of Mousse. As
the duck released another barrage of blades; Ranma shouted, "Kachu-
Tenshin-Amaguriken!" Using his special attack, Ranma deflected the
blades, then reached towards Mousse.
Twisting wildly, the duck tried to dodge the attack, but Ranma
succeeded in knocking the coke-bottle glasses off Mousse's beak.
Quacking wildly, the duck flew away at top speed, right into a
telephone pole.
"Saotome..." Kuno growled as he struggled to stand. Ryoga
used the sempai's back for a springboard to jump up to Ranma, and
'Blue Thunder' felt the world wouldn't mind too much if he took a
little nap.
In the air, Ryoga launched several claw attacks at Ranma.
Although he managed to dodge all of the strikes, Ranma's bouquet
didn't survive so well. Falling now, both traded several blows.
Just before landing, the two pushed away from each other. Ryoga
landed on Kuno's back, while Ranma hit dirt a little ahead, to the
left of Ryoga; behind a fence.
Shouting, "You will not escape, Ranma!" Ryoga ran to the
intersection, and turned right.
Ranma blinked twice. "Hey...Wait! Ryoga! I'm over here!"
Too late; the figure already disappearing, Ranma watched Ryoga's
back slowly fade into the sunset.
Ranma shook his head. "That guy'd get lost walking a straight
line." Looking at his wrecked bouquet, he made a face and tossed
it aside. Jogging over to Kuno, he turned him over and did a quick
search. Pulling out one of Kuno's reserve roses, Ranma nodded
thanks at the unconscious figure and continued on his way.

* * *

In the park, Akane waited by the fountain. Ranma was a little
late, but that was normal for him. She shifted nervously and had
to resist the temptation to check on her makeup with the compact
she carried.
<Why should I care if he likes how I look,> she wondered. <I
mean, when was the last time he complemented me?> Another nervous
fidget, then she gave up and pulled out her compact and checked
herself.
Everything seemed ok, then she noticed in the mirror that
Ranma was coming up behind her. Embarrassed, she quickly tried to
fold her compact away. Ranma walked up to her and couldn't help
but take a good look. This certainly wasn't the Akane he was used
to seeing.
"Ni...nice to see that you could make it," he began awkwardly.
"Yes. Did you have any trouble getting here?"
"No, everything went smoothly." They both turned away, each
fuming at themselves for acting so stupidly.
Ranma cleared his throat and tried again. Looking directly at
the fountain, he said, "That's a nice dress you're wearing."
"You think so," she asked, brightening. "It's Nabiki-
oneechan's and I wasn't too sure about the style."
"It's really a good change," he continued.
"You mean that?"
"Yeah, you really look like a girl in that."
Akane blinked. "What is that suppose to mean?"
Ranma turned to her, "Nothing! I was just complementing..."
"So what you're saying is that what I like to wear isn't
feminine enough?" She asked, starting to get mad.
Defensive now, Ranma snapped back, "I didn't say that!"
"But it's what you meant, isn't it?"
"How would a dork like you know what I'm thinking?"
"If you had a mind, it would be a picture book!"
"Kawaikune!"
They were both glaring at each other, almost ready to fight.
The single rose Ranma carried was crushed as his hand formed a
fist.
"Ah...such sweet love," Ranma and Akane both looked started;
neither of them had said that. "It reminds me well of my own youth
and the young girls whom I longed for." They both turned and saw
Happosai sitting on the edge of the fountain, a nostalgic look on
his face, smoking his pipe.
"Young romance in the air, the sounds of gentle words on the
wind." He looked up at Ranma, "If you'd like, my boy, I can give
you some advice that will ensure a happy relationship."
Then he leered.
Cocking a fist, Ranma bared his teeth. "Go away Jiji! This
doesn't involve you!" Ranma threw a punch, put Happosai leapt
above it, flipped over Ranma's head, and poked him in the back with
his pipe. With a yelp, Ranma fell into the fountain's pool.
"There now," Happosai continued. "We're all alone Akane-chan.
Let us continue this date uninterrupted." That done, he leapt
towards her.
Akane screamed and used her handbag like a blackjack; whapping
Happosai to the ground. Ranma-chan rose out of the water and
grimly stalked towards the old goat; the promise of pain in her
eyes.
Picking himself up, Happosai dusted himself off. "You're
right Akane-chan; you already have a boyfriend. It was wrong of me
to ask you out. I'll just have to find an unattached girl to call
my own." With a sudden move, he began to feel up Ranma-chan.
"This healthy one will do!"
"AAAAAAA!!" Was Ranma's response. That done, she punted the
old geezer into the sky.
Ringing her cap out, Ranma muttered some evil lines then put
the semi-dry hat back on her wet hair. "You should go home and
take a shower," Akane suggested to the dripping Ranma-chan.
"Can't," responded the red-head. "Our reservations at the
restaurant won't hold if we arrive late."
Akane looked surprised. "You actually care if we go out?"
Ranma thought about the trouble Nabiki had said she had gone
through to get these reservations; and what she had promised do to
him to recoup her investment if he didn't make good on this date.
"Naw...I just want some food, that's all." Ranma replied
haughty.
Akane stiffened. "I see."

* * *

Soft violin music wafted through the air in the restaurant.
The place was clearly a high-class joint with expensive silverware
and waiters in tuxedos. Sitting at a small, round table, Ranma-
chan and Akane were talking over a multi-course meal. Akane was
handling the western cutlery well, and Ranma was doing a passible
job due to her natural agility. Her main problem was trying to eat
as delicately as Akane was.
Taking a small bite, Akane looked to see Ranma busy trying to
consume a whole turkey cutlet in one gulp. "You know," Akane
began, "If you keep eating like that, you'll loose your girlish
figure."
Washing the meat down with a gulp of tea, Ranma-chan looked
sort of amused. "Do you think that concerns me?"
Struggling to hold down a smile, Akane said, "But Ranma, if
you lose your good looks, Kuno-sempai won't want you anymore."
Ranma looked over at Akane for a moment; then she speared a
turkey leg with her fork and desperately shoved it into her throat.
The two girls looked at each other for a moment, (Ranma-chan
with the leg bone protruding out her mouth) then both broke out
into gales of laughter.
After they had calmed down enough to resume, Akane took a
small sip of wine and sighed. "I'm having a really good time,
Ranma. Why don't we do this more often?"
"Because I'm broke," Ranma replied, attacking her veggies with
the two-fisted-two-fork technique.
Akane shook her head and turned away for a moment. Then she
noticed the looks the two of them were getting from the rest of the
place. It seemed that Ranma-chan's vacuum style of eating was
gaining a lot of attention. <Another good reason why we don't do
this too often,> Akane thought.
"Ah...Ranma," Akane began. The red-head looked up, noodles
hanging from her mouth. "Vwad?"
"We'd get a lot less attention if you ate more like a girl
rather then an army on the march."
Slurping the noodles into her mouth noisily, Ranma looked
bored. "Let 'em watch. I don't care."
"But I do," Akane said loud enough for some nearby tables to
hear.
Ranma glared back, then stood up and walked away. Akane
blinked; "Ranma..." Watching her disappear behind some other
tables, Akane turned back to her own plate. For some reason she
couldn't explain, she was angry with herself for ridiculing him in
public. <But the jerk had it coming,> she thought. <It was
embarrassing sitting here with him...but...maybe...maybe I
shouldn't have been so hard on him...>

"This better?" Ranma asked. Akane looked up to see a slightly
damp Ranma-kun standing there. Everyone seated at nearby tables
was looking around, wondering if the vacuum-girl was going to
return and haunt their evening some more.
He sat down, "Now I can eat like a man without the weird
looks." He picked up his weapons and prepared to resume his
attack.
"Or," Akane interjected, "I can teach you some badly needed
manners."
That comment aborted Ranma's plan of assault; annoyed, he
looked up at her. She smiled back drily. "Unless you think you
can't learn how to be civilized in public-"
"If an tomboy like you can do it, so can I."
Akane glared at him for a moment, then picked up her utensils.
"First," she began, "hold the fork in a loose grip, not clutched
like a dagger. Then..."

It took some time, but by the end of the third course, Ranma
was actually able to dine in a presentable, if not dignified,
manner.
"I don't think this has helped, Akane." Ranma said as he
refilled his tea cup. "People are still watching us."
Akane looked around then turned back to face him. "You're
partially right. Yes, they're still looking our way, but this time
the looks aren't ones of disgust and revulsion."
Ranma turned to look as well. He had to admit that the looks
he managed to catch were different from the glances of dignified
abhorrence he had received earlier. The women gave fleeting smiles
in his direction, and one even winked. When they glanced at Akane,
the girls self-consciously smoothed non-existent wrinkles in their
dresses, then checked to see what their dates were doing. For the
most part, they found them staring at Akane with jealous longing.
When the guys returned their attention to their own date, they
often returned to a very nasty glare.
A waiter in a tux, hat, cape, and mask came up to their table.
"Would the gentleman care to buy the lady a rose?" he asked.
"No thanks," replied Ranma before he thought. "I've already
got one."
"You do?" Akane asked, her eyes lighting up in surprise.
Fidgeting uncomfortably, Ranma shrugged. "Yeah...It's right
he-" he paused as he pulled out his rose; crushed from their
argument in the park.
He coughed. "I guess one more wouldn't hurt."
The waiter smiled as he pulled a single one out. "And how
will the gentleman be paying?"
Ranma looked over at Akane. "With whatever the girl is
carrying."
She put her face in her hands for a moment; then opened her
purse and handed over some coins. The waiter bowed, placed the
long-stemmed rose in her hand, and walked away.
Ranma looked sort of sheepish. "I'll pay you back later."
Akane shook her head, a twisted smile on her lips as she smelled
the flower. "Just eat, Ranma."
He returned her grin. "Now that's something I can handle."

[continued in Chapter 2]
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Post Production Notes:

The three gifts Genma tries to force off on Ranma (the fish,
the sake (rice wine), and the cloth (for a kimono)), are
traditional betrothal gifts in Japanese culture. The groom gives
these gifts to bride's family; doing that, you formally say, "I
want to marry your daughter." Once that's done, about the only way
to back out is to die. (And even then it's no guarantee.)
I'm not going to list all my in-jokes (mainly because I forgot
which ones I put in), but leave it to the intelligence of the
readers to figure it out. (Especially since you're all probably
smarter than me anyway; not having blown need brain-cells on
writing this.)

--
How's my typing? Email grey...@ffarm.ampr.ab.ca ..