[Ranma][FanFic] Biker 1/2 chapter 16
Calum Wallace
I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it.
Words in "<this>" kind of brackets are spoken in Cantonese.
Chapter 16: Chinese Werewolf in Tokyo
"You've pushed me too much now you'll watch me snap!" - Suicidal Tendancies,
'Whack Time'
************************************
Ranma watched the strange Amazon come round. Whereupon he picked her up by
the front of the shirt.
They had searched her for weapons, finding six knives, a Czech - made
Skorpion machine pistol and a Makarov handgun. Both guns were loaded with
what Akane recognised as explosive bullets. They had taken her back to the
house and she was now laying on the garage floor with her hands tied behind
her back.
"Okay, bitch. We got yer number - who set ya up fer this? Because they done
a damnfool stunt."
"Fuck you."
Ryoga laughed. "Nah, it's you who's fucked. Xian Pu recognised you."
"Fuck! Wolfsbane! You dirty bastard!"
"Nah, it's you pulled th' dirty fuckin' stunt, bitch."
Mortise smirked. "Well, there was enough wolfsbane in those nine bullets to
stop her shapeshifting for a good four or five days. So we've got plenty
time before we need to dose her again."
"You fucking bastards! I was following orders, surely you can't blame me for
that! It wasn't my choice!"
"So fuck. Big deal. Th' point is, ya fucked with us. Akane, show th' bitch
th' big gun, huh?"
Akane hefted the M60. "So what do you make of this? I've got a few more of
these and we're going to pay the damn Amazons a little visit. Of course,
we'll have our slugs spiked with wolfsbane. We're going to blow Cow Lone so
full of holes her shadow will fucking vanish."
"You plan to kill Kou Loun?"
"Plan ain't the word, bitch. Shampoo says you work fer that fuckin' pickled
monkey. She made it fuckin' personal in a big way."
Mortise sniggered again. "Of course, we'll dose you with plenty wolfsbane
before you go. Where do we stash the bitch?"
Akane smirked. "I have the perfect place..."
"Huh?"
"You know that pile of boxes I got this from behind? There's a concealed
hatch in the floor below it. That leads to three hidden rooms. We can
quickly and easily modify the furthest from the hatch into a cell."
"A hidden basement?"
"Yes, it's where I stash all my guns. The hatch is eighteen feet thick and
there's a subway running under this house. That would throw the Slime off a
good bit if they brought one of those ultrasonic pinger things in." She
paused. "And I've got a fair stash of firearms down there. It'll easily be
enough to arm all of us."
"An eighteen foot thick hatch? How th' fuck?"
"Bring this bitch down and I'll show you. Oh, and the doors are closed off
just as thoruoghly."
They dragged the angry Amazon through the house and down into he basement.
Having hefted her over the pile of cardboard boxes Akane made all of them
stand in a tight circle. Then she pulled out a Swiss army kife and turned an
exposed screw. There was a click followed by a slight hiss. Both sounds
would easily be missed from the far side of the gargantuan pile of boxes.
The hiss was accompanied by a large square section of the floor sinking into
the ground.
Ranma whistled. "Awesome! Why's there no light comin' from th' basement?"
"Because a panel slides into place and fills the hole."
"Akane, how th' fuck did ya get this done?"
"Think about it, Ranma. Who else is top of the mechanics class? Me. Only I
don't deal with vehicles. I do other stuff." She chuckled. "The hydraulics
came out of a smashed up crane - they were the ones that telescoped it's
arm. The hatch we're standing on weighs over a hundred tons."
"Holy fuck! That's what I call engineering!"
"It's a good thing the basement's carpeted and the carpet's glued to the
floor - I found a spare roll of the original carpet and dirtied it up. I had
to be really precise so it fitted properly."
Shampoo scratched her head. "Mao Xing would like this."
"Fuck him, I like this! Holy shit, check out th' fuckin' arsenal!"
Akane nodded. "You name it I've got it. That's a 25mm IFV cannon. There's a
bazooka over there. This is a helicopter minigun as used in Veitnam. This is
a backpack flamethrower - World War 2 design. That cupboard's full of
assault rifles, the machine guns are in here and these two have handguns,
shotguns, sub-machine guns and so on in them. That door leads to the
workshop where I make everything. The third room is the storeroom - where I
keep the raw materiels."
"You've got a fuckin' weapons factory down here! This is so cool!"
"Yeah, it is. Isn't it. I've only test fired most of them - I just like the
secure feeling of having lots of very big guns around."
Mortise laughed. "Lots? I'll say! You could equip a fucking army from this
lot!"
"So what's everyone waiting for, then?"
Ranma paused. "One, we gotta lock this bitch up. Two, we gotta make a plan."
"Right. Ryoga, want to give me a hand moving my metal and explosives? You
need to be very careful with the powder - if that lot went up the house
wouldn't be there. Ranma, put out your cigarette."
"Becaue you're gonna be moving gunpowder around, right?"
"Yeah. No point leaving our prisoner in a room with enough bomb to flatten
half the street. I've got three tons of rifle propellant down here."
"Fuckin' hell! That'd make one helluva bang!"
"Yeah, it would wouldn't it. It's high preformance rifle powder to boot. I
keep the rocket fuel really deep in a buried tank. I drilled down with a
laser and used the laser probe to carve out a bit at a time. It took me four
weeks to complete it. It's sealed with plastic I melted into place with the
laser. I tested it for leaks by filling it with water for a month then
checking to see if any had drained out. It hadn't. So now I keep a few
thousand gallons of Astralite in it."
"Astralite? As in liquid explosives?"
"Yeah, rocket fuel. I've been working on this place since I was ten."
"Wicked..."
"Come on, Ryoga! Get your ass into gear!"
Ryoga nodded and cracked her knuckles. "Okay, let's get this shit shifted."
"I'll cut a dedicated cell once we get back from China. It can become this
crazy bitch's home."
************************************
The gang of teenagers sauntered out of the house. Most of them had
cigarettes hanging out of their mouths.
Ranma glanced at Akira's car. "Faaurgh."
Ranko snorted. "Fucking cars."
Ryoga made a grotesque face. "Fucking slow pile of crap."
Mortise glanced at her. "Slow is one thing that bloody thing isn't. It's a
fucking Shelby Mustang and he's got it supercharged."
"Yeah maybe but does it have afterburners?"
"What? Oh yeah, you ride a two wheeled cruise missile."
"Ha. I can outrun Pig helicopters if I hit the big red button."
"Big red button?"
"Afterburners you nong!"
"You seriousley have afterburners on that thing?"
"Yep."
"Juesus fucking wept!"
"Awesome, huh?"
Shampoo scratched her head. "I is need for go shops."
"Kay. See ya later - I got shit ta do."
Shampoo nodded and swung aboard her bike. She stuffed her lid on and grinned
at the others. "I see ya."
"Later, Shampoo."
Ranma swung onto his bike. "I'm needin' ta get a new set o' tyres, I'll see
ya lot around. Later!"
He swung onto his bike, stuffing his lid on as he did so. The two engines
snorted into life and both teenagers rode off out of the driveway.
Akane watched them go for a moment.
"Well, what are you lot waiting for? We've got a war to prepare for!"
They turned and walked back into the house through the garage, not noticing
Akira dash out the front door, dive into his car and drive off after Ranma.
************************************
Akira planted his foot on the throttle sending the gleaming black Mustang
tearing down the street after the camoflaged bike.
John Kirth sat up in the back seat. "What's happening?"
"Trouble, John. I smelt the change on that young Amazon girl."
John shut his eyes. "Oh, shit. If she goes mental in the street we're all
finished!"
Takashi straightened up. "Lord, what are we going to do?"
"I have a plan... I don't know if it'll work, but..."
John snorted. "We need to find Ranma. I overheard him mention that he has
wolfsbane tipped handgun bullets."
"The boy knows how to use wolfsbane? Hmm, he's smarter than I thought."
"Any idea how close it is?"
"Hours. Maybe a day at the most."
"Then let's hope she doesn't get in a fight... Ah, she's going into a shop.
Drop me off - I'll speak to her."
"And what are you going to say?"
"I am going to do something that should have been done years ago. I am going
to tell her the truth."
"John, you always know what's best. Go ahead." Akira pulled over.
John Kirth nodded and stepped out of the car. He paused to examine the
camoflaged bike. "Nice."
He turned and looked at the shop sign. A herbalist. More to the point, a
herbalist who happened to be an old friend.
He smirked and walked inside. "Hey, Sara you old goat!"
"John! Well, of all the people!"
"Small world, isn't it. Afraid I can't stop to chat - I have to do
something."
He turned and walked over to Shampoo. "Excuse me, you are Xian Pu of
Joketsuzo, correct?"
Shampoo turned round. She looked the man up and down.
He was European and fairly short for his race - about five foot eight. He
had long mouse brown hair that was tied back in a ponytail and he was
dressed in a black trenchcoat and high boots.
"Is correct. Who you be?"
"I am Magus John Kirth. I have some information you may find useful."
"I no have much money. I not able for afford."
"There is no charge on this information, warrior. An old friend requested
that I tell you certain things." That was bending the truth slightly but he
could live with that.
Shampoo narrowed her eyes. "What like?"
"The true reason your so - called 'great grandmother' has been able to
survive to such a great age. Among other things - such as who, or rather
what, you really are. My friend sensed what we call the change on you."
************************************
Ranma swaggered out of the bike shop and immediately spotted Shampoo's bike
sat outside the shop next door. He ignored the line of cars parked the far
side of the street which is why he never saw Akira's Mustang.
He sat down on his bike and lit up a cigarette. Might as well wait for
Shampoo to come out.
************************************
John Kirth nodded. "Xian Pu, the fact of it is that ninty percent of the
Amazons of Joketsuzo are what we call Amerai. The remaining ten percent are
varied demons, Sidhe and other supernaturals. You are not human. You never
have been human. And you never will be human. You are a day at the most away
from shapeshifting for the first time. I'm not certain, but I think you are
a werewolf."
Shampoo snorted. "If this be so, why I never told?"
"A tradition of your Clan. Children are allowed to believe themselves human.
This makes the shock of the first change far more intense. The child
undergoes extensive personality change due to this shock."
"How I be able for stop this?"
"You can't. Well, you could dose yourself with wolfsbane for the rest of
your life - but why would you want to? An Amerai has many abilities that are
most useful in battle. Such as the ability to quickly and seamlessly heal
all but the most horrible wounds. Amerai can brush off gunshot wounds like
they weren't even there."
"Werewolves be monsters!"
"So are many humans. It's not what you are that counts. It's who you are."
"What?"
"Are you a monster? I don't think so. If you were, why would Ranma Saotome
still be alive?"
"Who you be? Apart from John Kirth? And why you want me believe this crap?"
Shampoo turned and marched out the door.
John Kirth stared after her.
"Oh, hell."
************************************
Ranma looked round as Shampoo walked out the shop.
"Hey, how's it hangin'? I wuz in th' bike shop there an' saw yer bike."
Shampoo grinned. "You was?"
"Yeah, thought I might as well stop an' say hi. I got me new tyres ordered
up so I ain't got shit ta do."
Shampoo nodded and turned to her bike. The back of it was facing Ranma,
which was why he hadn't spotted what she now saw.
"What in hells? Fairing be gone!"
"What the fuck? Someone's knicked yer fairin'?"
Shampoo nodded. She was still gaping at the bare front of the bike. Loose
wires hung down where the headlamps had been ripped away and the mounting
frame was badly distorted.
"Fuck! What fucked be mess with my damn bike?" She snoved the keys into the
ignition and kicked it over. Ranma fired his own machine.
"Shampoo! Check it out - there's a loada busted lamp glass!"
"Yes, is in trail! Let's go get what dick do this!"
The two teenagers tore off along the trail of broken light bulb, not
noticing John Kirth sprint out of the shop and to Akira's car.
************************************
Azusa was completely delighted with the cool shaped thingamijig she had
ripped off of a parked bike. She didn't know why the front of it had been
that shape.
But it certainly was a cool shape.
She barged people out of her way with gay abandon as she skated homewards,
not noticing two bikes and a large black car bearing down on her until it
was way too late.
************************************
Ranma spotted the girl on rollerskates who had Shampoo's bike fairing under
her arm first.
"There! That skater chick!"
Shampoo growled and pulled a lump of 2x4 out of her pocket. She gunned her
bike up a bit and swiped at the girl as she went past.
The piece of timber contacted Azusa's skull with a hollow sounding thunk.
Azusa went head over heels onto her face and Ranma caught the fairing in one
hand as he pulled up.
"For fuck sake! Th' stupid little theif's really fucked it up! It's gonna
take a lotta work ta sort this out."
Shampoo leant over and grabbed Azusa by the back of the shirt. "Hey! I is
gonna kill you!"
"She fucked with yer damn bike! Let's give th' bitch a closeup o' our
boots!"
Azusa got her head back in order. She yanked free of Shampoo's grip and
grabbed at the fairing.
"Get off, ya bitch! Fuckin' theif!" Ranma kicked her in the head.
"How dare you!"
"How dare we what? You're the one who ain't heard o' property damage or
theft."
"Fuck you! That whatever's mine and you peasents can't stop me!" She pulled
a shuriken out of her pocket and threw it at Shampoo. It slapped into her
shoulder.
Ranma swore. "Ya dirty fuck!" He launched a series of punches at her which
she dodged, spinning round him on her rollerskates and grabbing at the
fairing.
Both were suddenly distracted by a sticky sounding pop.
Shampoo dropped the shuriken she had just pulled out of her arm. She gritted
her teeth. "Now I is lots MAD!"
"Shampoo! Are you alright?"
Shampoo ignored Ranma's yell. She stood smoothly up and started to walk
towards Azusa, drawing her blackened katana as she did so.
"You be so dead!"
Azusa laughed. "Ah well, I think it's time to stop aiming to injure!" She
pulled another shuriken out of her pocket and threw it at Shampoo.
It smacked into her neck just under her chin. Blood stated to pour out the
slash.
It was too much. Shampoo's katana tumbled out of her hand as she started to
grow and twist.
Ranma stared as the Chinese girl's clothes stretched the ripped. And she was
still getting bigger.
And hairier. Her face started to push forwards into an animal shape. Her
heels slid back and up. A bushy tail popped out of the back of her shredded
trousers.
Then the shuriken dropped out of her neck with one final pop.
Ranma was jerked back to reality by Azusa's scream as the skater girl turned
and headed away at full speed. Shampoo started to sprint after her.
He dropped the fairing, thumbed the starter and went after the two, drawing
his GP35 as he went. It didn't take him long at all to catch up.
Shampoo was closing rapidly on Azusa. Ranma realised he had one option left.
He couldn't let Shampoo be branded a murderer. She was family.
His gun roared once. It was a beatiful shot - the slug caught Shampoo in the
shoulder. She returned to her human form and slumped face down on the
pavement.
Akira skidded his car to a halt.
"Time to face up to some facts, Ranma."
************************************
"Okay, Akira! I want th' whole fuckin' truth an' I fuckin' want it now! Ya
got me?"
It was two hours later and the whole gang were gathered in the Tendo's
living room waitig for Akira's explanation.
Akira nodded. "Yes, yes. Whatever. As you may have noticed, Shampoo happens
to be a werewolf. As are ninty percent of the Amazons. That's it."
Nabiki snorted. "Akira, are you really sure you're not missing some stuff?"
"Yes. I am sure."
"What does this word 'Amerai' mean?"
"Huh? Oh, it's the name for the species that makes up ninty-nine percent of
shapeshifters."
"If you've just told us the whole truth, why do my contacts keep telling me
that both the Tendo and Saotome families are what they call 'Amerai'? I
think you're trying to crap us on, mister Akira Saotome."
Ranma stood up. "We know ya regenerate, Akira. Why? Is Nabiki right or has
she been bullshitted?"
"Absolute-"
"Truth." interrupted a voice from the door. Mortise smirked at Akira. "And
it's well past time you told these kids the whole twisted tale. Including
where the Amazons came from, what the Moroboshi family are and where the
Tendo line came from. Or I'm going to tell them. I was respecting your
clan's dumb fuck tradition of keeping it dark from the kids, but enough is
enough."
Akira glared at him. "You... you backstabbing bastard!"
"Pot calling the kettle black, Lord Packmaster."
Akira groaned. "Very well, then. You have me there."
He stood up. "Firstly, as Nabiki said the Saotome family are comprised of
Amerai. We are werecreatures. More, Clan Saotome is a lot bigger than you
think. There's nearly a million of us. Only a few thousand are named
Saotome, the rest are blood relatives. Historically, one of the strongest of
these bloodlines was that of a man named Tendo."
"Ya mean th' Tendo's are related to us?"
"Very, very distantly. I think you and Akane shared an ancestor around
fifteen or sixteen generations ago. However, the Tendo line split from the
Clan some five hundred years ago. After young Genma befriended the boy who
would inherit the Tendo line - Soun - we and Soun had a long discussion. We
decided that the time had come to reunite the Tendo bloodline with our
Clan." Akira shrugged. "That's why I am so happy to see you married to
Akane."
"So were'd th' Amazons come inta all o' this?"
"Over two and a half thousand years ago, that's when. There was a schism in
the Clan. Most stayed loyal to the Lord Packmaster, but certain of our
number at the time - mainly women, actually - abandoned the Clan for reasons
I'm not sure of. They migrated to Arabia then spent a thousand years
traveling around before they finally settled in what became China. They are
still technically at war with us."
"An' what's this about the Moroboshi famly?"
"Them? They're a particularily vicious pack of Mundanes - sorry, Humans. We
call them Mundanes, right? It's more secretive."
Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "And how about you? Who, or rather what, are you?"
"I am the war leader of our people. I am nearly three thousand years old and
I am SICK of my life. Nearly a million people who don't seem to be able to
put their clothes on without me telling them which end their trousers go?
For two and a half thousand years. Well, as soon as you are ready it's over,
Ranma. I am going to kill myself. You think I decided who was going to
replace me? Nah - I would have decided about a thousand bloody years ago!"
"So who decided?"
"Not who, what."
"Ya what?"
Akira sighed and picked up his breifcase. He flipped it open.
"That did."
"A fuckin' photo o' me?"
"Not a photo. It's a sheet of blank paper. Take your jacket off and you'll
see."
Ranma snorted and took his jacket off. The image on the peice of paper
copied his motions.
"What - th' - fuck?"
"Yeah. It always carried the image of the heir to Packmastery. When there is
one. Your face is the second one I've seen on it... and the first was mine.
Keep it."
Ranma shook his head. "There's gotta be a better way. I mean, lettin' that
depend on some bit or shit o' paper?"
"It's an important tradition!"
"Well, d'ya know just where ya can shove traditions? Up yer fuckin' arse!"
He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "But we can sort that shite out
later. We got a war ta fight."
"A war?"
************************************
Ranma glared across the deck of the ship. Akira had insisted on using a ship
belonging to the Saotome clan (of course) and the entire crew were
werewolves (of course) so Ranma was planning to give them the slip. Of
course.
This was personal. It was him and the girls who had been attacked. It was
none of Akira's business.
None whatsoever.
He glanced around the deck of the ship. The bikes were strapped to the
decking with tarpaulans over them. Beside them was a minibus. More like a
four wheeled tank than a bus. The thing was armoured and had a couple of
25mm cannons hidden so they fired between the bumper and radiator grille.
The number plate flipped down from in front of them.
However, the bus could only manage sixty miles per hour. Perhaps forty on
the sort of road they would be using.
Which meant that the bikes would burn the bus off completely in seconds.
Ranko's HD was the slowest and it coul manage 120. Myabe sixty or seventy on
the Chinese roads. Nice, narrow, twisty roads. Perfect for leaving a four
wheeled piece of crap behind.
By the time Akira and his goons got to Joketsuzo Ranma and company would
have been and gone.
He smirked again. It was their own stupid fault. Using that four wheeled
tank had been Akira's idea. The old fart (as Ranma now thought of him) had
ranted on about it being intrisicly his business for over an hour. Ranma had
eventually shut him up by getting out a set of darts and using Akira's chest
as a dartboard.
Which had been very funny indeed.
Finito.
NOTES
Here comes Big Trouble! And Akane still hasn't found the tape.
Check it out again whenever to see lost of violent stuff involving Amazons,
Akira getting a very big fright and the Mark 2 pickled monkey!
Any C&C to dog...@ratbike.org please
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
Ratbike - A motorbike made to look as fucked up and unroadworthy as possible
while still being street legal. Normally painted flat black.
Honda CG125 - Small single - cylinder 4-stroke road bike. Not very much of
anything but supremely reliable and dirt cheap. It's reliability stems from
having very little to go wrong and a low - revving 4-stroke engine.
Honda Fireblade - Insane Honda sportsbike. Mad but beginning to show it's
age.
Supercharger - A pump driven off the crank that forces more air into the
engine thus forcing it to run faster.
Nitrous oxide - Laughing gas. A petrol - nitrous mix burns faster than a
petrol - air mix therefore produces more horsepower and more wear in the
engine.
Top yoke - The yokes are two pieces of metal that hold the front forks
together and to the bike. The top yoke is the upper one. Known as triple
clamps in the US.
Gixer - Slang for a Suzuki GSXR (one of the craziest bikes built).
Chain lube - Motorbike chain lubrication oil.
Header tank - Tank that contains the spare water for the radiator on a
sealed cooling system as found in most cars.
Gasflowing - trimming off excess metal from inside the cylinder heads to aid
the burn rate of fuel within the engine. Gives a small horsepower boost.
Final drive - the drive chain that goes from the gearbox to the back wheel
and the cogs (final drive sprockets) that it runs on.
Conrod - The bit of metal that connects the piston to the crankshaft.
Alternator - Higher tech version of a generator.
Kill switch - The engine's 'off' switch. Turns off power to the ignition.
Lid / skidlid - Slang for a crash helmet.
250 Superdream - CB250. The next up the Honda model range from the CG125 and
just a bigger version of the same.
500 Superdream - CB500. A CB250 with a bigger bore and heavier frame.
Engine clicking - An internal combustion engine heats up when run. Run it
hard and it heats up more, then when you switch off the engine will start
emitting a series of sharp clicks as the metal cools and contracts.
Stocker - unmodified factory - built vehicle.
Binned - crashed. Normally means written off.
Steering damper - a long, thin shock absorber that fits between the forks
and the frame. Helps steady the steering.