[Ranma][FanFic] Repost - Biker 1/2 book 1 chapters 14-20

[Doghead Thirteen]

Biker 1/2 Cycle 1 - Birth of a Modern Legend.
Book 1 - Opening moves - part 3.

LEGALISTIC SHIT and RANT
Ranma 1/2 is not mine, no no i didn't do it you can't make me say it woz my
fault
THIS FIC WOULD BE 18-RATED IF YOU FILMED IT AND GAVE IT TO THE BBFC!
There's audible off-screen sex (but no more, even Ranma has a right to some
privacy when he wants it and I'm no good at writing sex scenes) gratuitous
violence, character deaths, drugs, rock 'n roll and insane quantities of
swearing. If you can't handle it don't read it.
Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi and varied companies much bigger
than me; I'm just borrowing the characters and world without permission as a
way of learning to carry a decent plot. I'll put them back when I've
finished with 'em. I promise.
The Amerai, S'Vek, Sidhe, the Wade family, Clan Hakkenan, Rat Diva, Seven
Hope and all related concepts are property of Calum John Wallace (me) and
Mad Dog Games; all rights reserved and all that. If you want to use 'em in a
fic, please A) read Biker 1/2 carefully, it should give you a good idea of
what the Amerai are all about, B) ask for my permission and C) include me in
the prereaders for your tale.
Finally, at least four characters are gay or bisexual - if you can't handle
that then please be so kind as to fuck off. Like the alternate Ryoga of this
tale I have little time for homophobes due to certain problems suffered by
my (bisexual) elder sister.

Please note, I'm using "{this}" to denote things said in Cantonese and
"[this]" to denote things said in what wolves use for a language.

Chapter 14: Trouble brewing
"Hey yeah, I'm the one that you wanted. Hey yeah, I'm the superbeast" - Rob
Zombie, 'Superbeast'

"I'd prefer not to talk about that fuckhead... I've been trying to forget
his ugly, sneering face for the last five years." - Soun Tendo, asked about
Akira Saotome during an interview for BBC World Service, January 2004.

************************************

Ranma pulled out of the driveway with Akane and Shampoo hard behind him. He
backed off enough that they could keep up on their CB's
Akane grinned as she leant the bike into the corner, low enough to bash the
left exhaust on the road. A CB's zorsts weren't exactly far from the deck.
But then she was used to a mechanically similar bike. Different in that it
was half the capacity and lacked a turbo. Same as in it had an identical
gearbox, running gear and frame.
She too backed off a bit. Shampoo was not very sure of herself in this
unfamiliar environment. The Chinese girl was only really used to bikes where
you pedal. She'd ridden her brother's home made dirt bike enough to get the
hang of clutch control, but not enough to learn much more than that.
Ranko's bike was last, the chug-chug-chug of it's V-twin echoing down the
street. It somehow managed to be louder than Ranma's bike courtesy of two
huge pistons and a pair of missing silencers.
It was almost time for school again. Ranma gunned his bike up a bit. It
popped a little wheelie and flashed down the street in a cloud of tyre
smoke.
Ranko snapped her bike into second. The engine grunted as she moved out to
the centreline.
Akane tugged back on the throttle. Much to her surprise the front wheel
lifted smoothly off the ground and hung in a 45 degree wheelie.
Shampoo suddenly realised she was being left behind. Not knowing the likely
result she cranked the throttle wide open.
Her bike sprang up into a high wheelie. Then the turbo kicked in.

************************************

Matsui parked his car (a Mini) and stepped out of it.
He heard howling motorbike engines in the distance. That would be Ranma and
company. Strange - it sounded like more than the usual two bikes.
Sure enough, a grand total of four bikes shot into the schoolyard. Three of
them flat black, the fourth camouflaged.
Shampoo braked heavily, enough to lock the back wheel. The bike slid round
ending up facing back the way it had come. She hastily put her feet down,
glad she had grabbed the clutch as they turned into the schoolyard.
Akane pulled up beside her. Her bike's turbo let out a massive 'PSSH' as it
released the pressure.
Ranma pulled up the other side of Shampoo. He switched off and pulled off
his crash helmet.
"Nice one, Shampoo! Yer a natural!"
She put her bike into neutral and let go of the handlebars then pulled her
own lid off. "Is not feel that way to I!"
"Hey, ya did good! Ya didn't stall once, ya pulled a fuckin' beast o' a
ninety degree wheelie without flippin' or fallin' off, ya didn't wobble
nowt, ya pulled up without any bother - dig the slide - yer doin' alright."
Shampoo switched her engine off. "Is much scary!"
"But I bet yer feelin' good, huh?"
"Yes! Is much fun too!"
Akane switched off. "That wasn't your first try, was it?"
Shampoo shook her head. "No, I ridden I brother's trailbike much time back
in China. But there less to ride into there!"
"Yeah. That patch o' open ground outside Joketsuzo, right?"
"Is so."
"Yeah, that's a fuckin' excellent place ta get inta th' way o' ridin'."
Ranko snorted. "I learnt the hard way - dodging cops in Osaka."
"Same shit, different fuckin' place. I learnt in th' backwoods up north."
"I learnt around here. Less engine though."
"Ha! I learnt on a fuckin' CB500. An' not wiv a CB250 frame or a turbo.
Helluva lot slower than these two machines."
"We'd better get inside."

************************************

Genma looked up from the bike he was building for Soun as a black Mustang
pulled up outside.
"What th'..."
The Mustang's driver answered by getting out of his car. Genma jumped to his
feet.
"Akira!"
"Hello, Genma. How's it going?"
"Come inside... we need ta talk."
Akira Saotome nodded. "Indeed we do."

************************************

Ranma fished a cig out of his pocket and lit up. They had twelve minutes
until the bell went and he intended to spend it smoking.
Akane glared at him. "Nine fucking months. This is your fault!"
"Hey, it's kinda neat now I've had a think. I mean, what's better than
people that we could create, huh? I mean, th' no smokin rule's shit but we
don't wanna harm the baby, huh?"
Akane nodded. "Of course we bloody don't! But it's still shit."
"Hey, figure you've only got about eight months left ta go, right?"
"Just over."
"Well, yer gonna start gettin' a serious bump pretty soon."
"If anyone makes fat jokes I'll kill them..."
"You'll hafta beat me ta it, Akane."

************************************

Hikaru Gosunkugi had already had a bad day.
The reason for this was strutting along in front of him. Someone Hikaru felt
he should have been friends with - his elder brother.
Kato Gosunkugi was, in his brother's opinion, a psychopathic thug. In his
own opinion he was a top notch martial artist. His father had trained him
ever since he could walk. He was the apple of his mother's eye.
As for Hikaru, both parents basically ignored him, considering him an
embarrassing mistake. Well, unless he got in his father's way in which case
he got thumped.
So Kato walked all over him. Sometimes literally.
They turned into the gates of their new school. A move of home had put the
two brothers into Furinkan High.
Both got a shock when they saw the dozens of scruffy motorbikes that
littered the schoolyard. Students were hanging around in gangs and chatting
about this that and the other. Usual student stuff with the addition of
motorcycles.
Hikaru pricked up his ears. This looked like good news in a big way.
One group stood out from the crowd. Three girls, one a Goth, one a biker
with blazing red hair and one with very purple hair and dressed in combats.
They were crowded around a tall, broad - shouldered and hairy boy who was
dressed in biker leathers. They were also standing around a group of four of
the meanest bikes Hikaru had ever seen. Two looked like CB250's, one was
definitely an old Harley and the fourth - the biggest, baddest and meanest
of the lot - he couldn't identify. But he could see that it was definitely
supercharged and had what looked like a nitrous oxide cylinder hanging from
the back of the seat.
It was also very, very black, had immense spiked tyres and more than it's
fair share of headlamps. It looked stark staring mad.
His brother looked around and sneered.
"What a lot of shitty bikes these sad little wankers have."
Fortunately for Kato, Ranma and the gang didn't hear.
Hikaru rolled his eyes and followed his brother into the school.

************************************

Twelve minutes later Hikaru was still waiting for Kato to come out of the
deputy head's office. He spotted the three girls and one guy he'd noticed in
the schoolyard swaggering up the hall.
Maybe coming to school in his trenchcoat, leather trousers and Type O
Negative T-shirt wasn't pushing it. He grinned at them and nodded.
The Goth girl grinned back. "Hiya."
"Hi."
"Napalm Death's more my scene." She kept grinning.
"Cool!"
Kato Gosunkugi chose that moment to come out the office. Akane was right in
his way.
"Get outta my fucking way, bitch!"
Ranma's hand shot out and caught him by the front of the shirt.
"Look here ya little fuckhead. Talk to my wife like that again an' you're
gonna take a flyin' lesson outta that window. Got it?"
Kato swiped Ranma's arm off his shirt. "No, freak. Bums shouldn't try to
molest their betters. It can be bad for your health."
Ranma snorted. "Oh yeah?" He grabbed Kato again and flung him down the hall.
"Fuckhead. The name's Ranma Saotome, twelfth dan black belt in the Saotome
school of Anything Goes martial arts. You don't wanna mess with me OR my
wife. Because it could be real bad fer yer health... fuckwit."
Hikaru slipped into the office. Behind him he could hear the bell ringing.
"Oh no, man... I'm gonna be late!"
The man behind the desk looked up. "So Kato Gosunkugi meets Ranma Saotome,
huh? Should prove educational for Mr. Kato. You're his younger brother,
right?"
Hikaru nodded. "Unfortunately."
"Hmm. Kato was telling me about your track record at your previous school...
Be assured we don't tolerate stunts like that here..."
Hikaru stifled a curse. It was so typical of his brother, lying like that.

************************************

Matsui nodded. "Indeed, it is correct that you have just transferred from
Osaka. But that does not change the fact you are late."
"Hey, Teach!" Ranma shouted. "I seen him goin' in about quarter to an' he
was waitin' fer some fuckhead ta come outta th' head's office when I passed
him in th' hall. Had ta teach that other cunt a lesson in manners - he
called Akane stuff he shouldn't, see?"
Matusi paused. "Ah - I see. I'll let it slide this time." He frowned at
Hikaru. "But please note, promptness is a desirable virtue."
Hikaru nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Good. Take the seat next to Ranko, second from left in the front row."
Hikaru nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Oh, call me Teach. None of that 'sir' rubbish in here, please!"
Hikaru Gosunkugi shot him a startled look. Matsui grinned, as did Ranma.
"After all, you are the one doing the learning, Hikaru. I am just here to
help."
Hikaru sat down in the seat indicated. He looked round.
The redhead biker girl - apparently Ranko - was sat next to him. The boy who
had chucked Kato - Ranma, didn't he call himself - directly behind him.
Ranma had the other two girls each side of him.
He looked round at Ranko. "Hi - I'm Hikaru Gosunkugi."
"And I'm Ranko Saotome." She grinned at him. "That big lunk's my twin
brother Ranma. The girl on the left who you talked heavy metal with in the
hall's Akane Saotome, my sister-in law. And the purple - haired girl's
Shampoo. That's not her real name but nobody except Ryoga can pronounce it
and she's gone off somewhere with this really weird guy called Herb and his
mates. Something fucked up about a kettle."
Matsui looked up. "What was that about your half - brother, Ranko dear?"
"What, Ryoga? Ranma's gotten more idea than me."
Ranma looked up. "Aw, Ryoga got lost about a week ago - I toldja about her
sense o' direction. She won a race wiv Kasumi. They wuz arguin' about
whether Ryoga's bike's faster than Kasumi's car an' they had a race ta
settle it. Last time I seen Ryoga she wuz wiv three Chinese guys who're
lookin' fer somethin' ta do with th' curse. I overheard them talkin' about
it but only caught half o' th' conversation."
Matsui nodded. "The curse would seem more important than school to you two."
"Yeah... I hear anythin' about how ta get shot o' it an' I'll be off, huh?"
Matsui nodded. "Understandable. After all, it affects you for the rest of
your life. And not what I would call a desirable effect... though Ryoga
would."
"Ya know what she's like."
"Indeed... Now then, we'd better get some work done today."

************************************

Kato Gosunkugi stood and brooded in the hall. He was holding a bucket full
of water in each hand.
How to get even with Ranma? It was thanks to the young biker that he'd been
late on his first day.
The bell went, signalling the end of first period. Doors crashed open.
There was Ranma, swaggering down the hall in the company of the trio of
girls he had been with. And a certain Hikaru Gosunkugi.
"... Suzuki GSXR1100. I stuck a blower onta th' motor. Hadta make up a new
frame - th' one offa th' wreck wuz shafted. Bent ta fuck. Lucky I found a
smashed up plane - I gotten a shitload o' aircraft quality alloy outta it. I
built th' new frame an' swingarm outta that. Th' front forks are offa a 1200
Bandit what some stupid fuck'd driven inta th' back o'. Nitrous is offa th'
same Bandit an' th' fuel tanks offa a Blade. I got th' wheels offa th' back
ends o' two write - off customs. Hadta chop th' front 'un round a bit ta fit
th' brake discs - they're offa a Super Blackbird. Th' back end wuz easier -
hardest bit wuz gettin' th' suspension set up. I doubled up th' final drive
chain ta help it stand up ta th' torque. Th' bar controls came offa an old
KTM crosser - onea th' big - bores. I swapped th' brake an' clutch levers
fer ones offa a smashed up Kawasaki streetfighter last year - dunno what
they came offa but they're a real good set. Th' alternator's offa a Ford
Transit van o' all things - I couldn't find a bike 'un that puts out enough
juice. Especially fer th' twin-tone tug siren I got fer a horn. Th' stereo's
th' stock one outta a car - dunno what car, it wuz too trashed ta recognise
when I dug th' stereo outta it."
Hikaru closed his mouth. "Wow."
"She's one helluva machine - breaks th' double ton on th' back wheel no
prob. First three gears last about half a second each if I gun her. Fast
cornerin's wicked - I just lay her over an' gas her then th' back wheel
spins up, slides out an' just guides her round. Th' harder ya gas her th'
harder she turns. It's beautiful."
"I wish I could get a bike like that. And ride it."
"Gettin' th' bike's not th' problem. A while in a scrapyard an' I can get
somethin' figured. Ridin' it's the hard bit - she wheelies offa th' throttle
in every gear in th' box. Ya hafta lean forwards an' take it real easy if
yer not gonna flip her in first. That's why ya can switch th' blower off -
she launches like shit offa a stick even without it. I don't normally even
touch th' blower until I hit third. If I wuz gonna take her down th'
dragstrip all I'd need ta do is stick on a longer swingarm an' a wheelie
bar. I've thrashed a couple o' nitromethane burners wiv her like she is.
Wheeliein' past onea them things is such a fuckin' laugh." He paused. "Her
engine's really way too powerful fer th' rest o' th' bike."
Matsui stuck his head out of the classroom. "Ranma!"
"Yeah?"
"Could you bring your bike in next period? I want you to show the other
students over it."
Ranma grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Sure thing, Teach!"
Kato narrowed his eyes as Ranma and his little gang turned and walked
outside. A deafening roar heralded Ranma firing his bike's engine.
"His bike... that's it."

************************************

Ranma still had a smug look on his face as he wheeled his bike outside. The
other kid's reaction to a close up look at said piece of barely controlled
insanity had made him want to laugh out loud.
He thumbed the starter button. The engine let out it's traditional bellowing
roar.
"All ship - shape an' Bristol fashion." He gunned it twice then switched
off. "Rockin. Man, I love my bike!"
One of the other kids (a boy called Daisuke) frowned at him.
"You really built that bike when you were a little kid?"
"Yeah. She wasn't so powerful than - I've tuned her up a shitload. Oh, an'
changed round th' handlebars an' seat. I hadta keep makin' her fit me as I
grew. So I did."
"We'd better get home, Ranma."
"Yeah yeah. Fuck sake, why do they hafta keep choppin' an' changin' th'
fuckin' timetable here?"
"Let's roll, bro."
Ranma stuffed his lid on. "Yeah, time ta get mobile!"
Shampoo pulled her own helmet on. She was glad Ranma had picked one with a
seatbelt clip style fastener rather than the D-ring setup he had on his own
lid, which looked like a real fiddle to fasten. She switched on the ignition
and kickstarted the engine. It growled into life beneath her.
Akane grinned at her and fired up her own bike. Ranko shrugged and kicked
her Hog over. Ranma nodded and thumbed the starter button.
"Let's hit th' fuckin' road!"

************************************

The four bikes turned into the Tendo's driveway about ten minutes later.
Ranma pulled his lid off and grinned at Shampoo.
"You're sure learnin' fast!"
Ranko nodded. "I wouldn't have said you was new to this game if I didn't
know."
She jerked her thumb at the black Mustang. "What's with the car?"
Akane snorted. "A car like that probably belongs to one of Kasumi's pals."
Engine noise and jet-scream echoed down the street. Ranma looked round.
"Hey! Sounds like Ryoga!"
Sure enough, a certain jet bike and the trio of Musk turned into the
driveway.
Ryoga pulled off her lid. "Hey, Ranma! Check it out, bro!"
"Huh? Check what out?"
"Chuck some hot water at me and find out, man!"
"You what?"
"Shit, didn't I tell you what we were looking for?"
"You muttered something ta Herb but I didn't get it properly."
Herb laughed quietly. "Ryoga is now a woman 24-7."
"Ya what?"
"Hot water don't change me back any more. I'm gonna get Nabiki to change
everything so my records say I'm female."
"I don't suppose whatever ya found's gonna do me any good?"
"Nah. It makes the curse permanent then the other thing switches that off."
Herb put his lid back on. "Well, I guess I'll see you around, Ryoga. I've
got stuff I need to get done back home... Later, huh?"
"Yeah, I'll see you around, man. Stay cool, huh?"
"Later. Thanks."
Herb pinwheeled his bike and roared away with Mint and Lime hard behind him.
Ryoga stared after them with a fond look on her face.
"Yeah... I'll see you around, man." She snorted. "Dumb bugger. He'll be
back."
Shampoo shot her a confused look. "What make you think that?"
"I don't. I know that... Remember that I'm the first girl any of them have
met more than in passing." She winked. "I've pulled..."
Shampoo did a violent double take.

************************************

Akira stared out the window.
"Well I'll be damned! Prince Herb of the Musk dynasty!"
"Huh?"
"That teenager. The one on the blue bike."
Genma frowned. "So who is he?"
"A killing machine. Hmm, from his expression he thinks quite highly of young
Ryoga. Looks like him and his friends aren't staying." Akira paused. "Time
for me to meet Ranma for real."
Genma nodded. "And the girls. Ryoga included."
"Yes, that was quite a turnup for the books, huh?"
"Yeah." Genma paused. "I always thought Ryoga was too bloody - minded to
live a lie like Godo did. And that could have caused problems... This
outcome is far better - we just need to get Ryoga's records changed to say
she was always a girl, huh?"
"Yes, indeed. This could get us a very useful ally, Genma. Prince Herb is
someone I want on my side."
The door crashed open and the kids poured through in a yelling mob. They
stopped and shut up when they saw Akira.
Ranma stepped forwards. "I saw ya at the weddin' but we didn't get
introduced... I'm Ranma Saotome, heir ta th' Saotome school o' Anythin' Goes
martial arts an' the best damn biker on th' planet... So - who're ya?"
Genma coughed. "Ahem. Ranma, this is Akira Saotome, head of the Saotome
clan."
"Right. Meanin'...?"
Akira narrowed his eyes. The boy sure had presence.
"You are apparently the most talented martial artist in your generation,
lad. When I retire in four years, it will be you who takes over from me."
Ranma snorted. "Oh yeah? Says who? Look, pal - I'm gonna stay here an' be a
father fer th' rest o' my life. I got stuff ta do, petrol ta burn, bikes ta
build. An' no fucker's gonna make me do shit I don't wanna do. So thanks,
but no thanks."
There was a shocked silence. "You what?"
"Find some other bugger, pal. I don't wanna know. I ain't gonna take yer
orders an' I ain't gonna run no clan. There's one life I'm gonna run an'
that's mine."
"You don't understand, boy. This is not something you can turn down."
"Oh yeah it fuckin' is! I told ya, I got stuff I wanna do. I only got one
life an' I'm the one who's gonna fuckin' run it, see?" He jerked his thumb
at his bike. "That's my first concern, pal." He put an arm round Akane's
shoulders and the other round Shampoo's shoulders. "An' these two are my
second concern. Like I fuckin' said, ya go find some other bugger fer this
crap!"
Genma stood up. "Goddamnit, Ranma! I-"
Akira cut him off with a sharp gesture. "Boy, do you really think I will
permit such disrespectful behaviour?"
"Ya ain't earned my respect, pal. Ya come here an' told me my life had been
planned out by some shithead an' ya want respect? Step outside an' try ta
get it if ya think yer hard enough!"
Akira nodded. "Very well. After you."
"Nope, yer goin' out first, fuckhead. I don't trust ya not ta try somethin'
dirty."
Akira gritted his teeth and walked outside, the whole gang following him.
Ranma stopped on the gravel drive.
"Okay, fuckhead. Are you ready?"
Akira turned round. "Ready and waiting."
Ranma smirked. "This is gonna be fun... Come an' get it!"

End of part 14.

Chapter 15: Break Something Tonight
"Give me something to break! Such as your fucking face!" - Limp Bizkit,
'Break Stuff.'

"I started it; I was pissed off and looking for something to unwind at.
Akira was just available for the punking of. I didn't start hating him until
two days later." - Ranma Saotome.

************************************

Ranma kept staring at Akira. For all his loud - mouth tactics he had a nasty
feeling he was in for the fight of his life. Both men stood in a loose
posture, ready to explode into action in any direction.
Ranma simply waited for Akira to come at him. Almost five minutes passed
before Akira got sick of the waiting game.
He came at Ranma with a fast left-right combo. The boy easily slid aside
from the blow and replied with a sweep kick that Akira jumped over.
"You're better than I thought, kid."
Ranma snorted. "An' yer crapper than I thought."
Akira shrugged and attacked again, noticeably faster this time. A blurringly
rapid uppercut that Ranma only just managed to evade.
"Nicely done, fuckhead." Ranma started a complex series of flowing motions
with his hands, continuing dodging Akira's flurry of attacks as he did so.
He suddenly broke the pattern by thrusting his right fist towards the elder
man. It stopped short of connecting but Akira flew backwards and bounced off
a wall.
"What the hell?"
Ranma laughed. "Like I said, come on and get it - fuckhead."
Akira snorted and stood up, brushing dust from his shirt. "Pathetic."
Ranma snorted again. "So ya thought that was pathetic, huh? Well just wait
till ya get a load o' the next one!"
"No, you just wait, boy."
Ranma sorted again. "Aye right. Hey, Ryoga! Give us yer spanner!"
Ryoga shrugged, pulled her enormous adjustable wrench off of her back and
tossed in at Ranma. Ranma caught it neatly and started spinning it round his
head.
"Check this one out, ya fuckhead!" He suddenly lobbed the spanner at Akira.
Akira caught it, looked shocked and dropped it.
"How the fuck did you pick that thing up?"
"With ease, ya whimp!"
Akira proceeded to blow his lid. "That does it! I'm gonna teach you a lesson
in goddamn manners, boy!"
"Aw, go fuck yerself - shithead."

************************************

Mortise rumbled down the street. His Hog was running beautifully (as ever)
and he had a mess of spare parts in his pack that he'd scraped together for
Ranko.
He turned into the Tendo's driveway and was immediately confronted with
Ranma fighting an older man. An older man who he recognised.
"What the fuck? Akira Saotome?"
"I am rather busy just now, Mortise."
Mortise parked his bike beside the others and got off. He walked over to the
gang.
"What the fuck's going on?"
Ryoga snorted. "This cunt Akira showed up and started telling Ranma what to
do. You can guess the rest, right?"
"Ranma started a fight with him, right?"
"Actually Ranma told him to go fuck himself and he started trying to
browbeat Ranma. Ranma told him to come outside and earn himself some
respect."
Mortise groaned. "Oh, great. Ranma's bitten off more than he can chew this
time. I think he's about to get his ass kicked."
"I dunno. That Akira guy hasn't even hit him yet. And he's hit Akira once."
"You don't understand! That Akira guy regenerates!"
Shampoo narrowed her eyes. She pulled out her handgun.
"Maybe Wolfsbane work on he?"
Mortise shrugged. "Only one way to find out."
Shampoo nodded and handed the gun to Akane. "You be better shot than I. Plug
the bastard!"
Akane took the gun then paused. "I don't know about this."
"What do you mean, Akane? Ranma can't win if that cunt keeps healing up!"
Ranma had overheard the whole lot. He immediately powered up his strongest
attack.
"Chew on this!"
'This' was his boot. It appeared to miss Akira completely.
The older man snorted. "Was that meant to..."
He fell flat on his face.
Mortise stared. "What the fuck?"
Ranma turned Akira over with his boot. Twenty - six muddy footprints were
spread up the older man's front.
Mortise stared. "What the fuck? You kicked him?"
"Yeah, I gave the fuckhead a good stompin'. A motormouth like that's just
askin' fer a boot in th' gob."
Akane looked at Akira carefully. "Oh my god - every strike hit a vulnerable
place... I didn't even see you hit him!"
"An' that wasn't me goin' at full speed either."
Akira sat up. "Nicely done, kid."
Ranma snorted and kicked him in the mouth. "Fuck you, shitface." He paused.
"I told ya already, I'm gonna do exactly what I damn well please an' no
fucker can stop me... fuckwit. So d'ya want some more?"
Akira shook his head. "You have proved your point well enough for me, Ranma.
Shit, how am I going to tell the crew?"
"I neither know nor care, fuckhead. Far as I'm concerned ya can go ta hell."
Genma groaned. "Ranma, how can you refuse the honour of leading our clan?"
"Easy as I replace a fucked up final drive, Dad. I don't give a flyin' fuck
about that honour crap, remember? Honour's just gonna lose ya friends an'
get ya killed. I got more important stuff ta think about - such as my own
damn life!" He glared at Akira. "I ain't gonna let any fucker screw up my
life an' ya better remember it! Same goes fer ya, Dad. I ain't gonna let ya
use me as yer fuckin' doormat. I'm gonna live here fer th' rest o' my
fuckin' life an' ride the baddest damn bikes what've ever been built. I'm
gonna be a father in about eight months. You think I'm gonna do fuckin'
anythin' that's gonna fuck that up? Somethin' as neat as that ain't
somethin' I'm gonna let some dumb arsehole fuck with. I ain't some waster
who sits around tellin' other folks what ta do, I'm a workin' man. I ain't
gonna sit on my fuckin' backside an' get money offa other folk's work, I'm
gonna get out there an' earn my livin' fer real. So ya can take yer clan
leadership an' blow it outta yer exhausts, fuckhead!"
Akira groaned. "Houston, we have a problem."
"Aw, fuck off willya? We don't want or need yer fat ass round here, ya lazy
good fer nothin' wanker. Clan head? That's just another name fer 'boss'. A
fuckhead who tells other guys what ta do an' takes all th' money they earn.
So keep outta my fuckin' way, ya piece o' shit!"

************************************

Akira, Genma and Soun sat in the back room of the house with grim
expressions on their faces.
"This is really bad."
"We're so deep in the shit that it's over our heads."
Akira snorted. "Genma, Soun - don't let a little setback end your world."
"Little setback?!?!"
"That's the understatement of the year!"
"Boys, boys. Haven't you noticed - Ranma is in the middle of his teens.
Teenage rebellion rules OK. I dare say he'll settle down in the near
future."
Genma snorted. "I wouldn't count on it. He takes after his grandfather in
more ways than one. And you know what Dad was like as well as I do."
Akira snorted. "Until that big fight."
"Until that big fight," Genma sighed. "But his sacrifice was not in vain."
"Hell, it's thanks to him that we're here today. That's half the reason his
line became the successors - that and to complete the union with the
Moroboshi line."
"I know, Akira. I know. I sure as hell know it wasn't because of me. Genma
'fat dick' Saotome, that's me."
"You've been listening to Ranma swear at you too much, boy. You didn't kill
eighty of our enemy's finest in a very messy way for nothing."
"Face it, Akira. I didn't get jack shit for that - unless you count three
bullet holes and a claw slash or ten."
"You defy me too?"
"Yes. I damn well do. Face it, I'm sick of toeing your line. Oh no, I'm not
going to do anything about it, but sure as hell I'm going to make a lot of
noise about it!"
"Watch your tongue, Genma. That's fighting talk."
"And I still don't understand why the hell you had me pull half the stuff on
Ranma you did! I mean, why the hell Jusenkyo? Even though we know exactly
what that place means? And why the deal with Kounji? You damn well know
that's going to cause nothing but trouble - and not for me! For my son!"
"Shut up, sit down and listen to me. Before I rip your face off, boy.
Jusenkyo was simple - several children have undergone their First after a
dip in one of those springs. Kounji is mundane. He can't cause too much
bother - he doesn't matter and neither does his daughter. Mundanes do not
count."
Genma sighed. "Akira, I think you're being too old-fashioned for anyone's
good."
"What you think doesn't matter, boy. What the Clan requires is all that
counts! Your son WILL replace me - there's no two ways about it. And I don't
give a flying fuck about your ill - informed humanist opinions, boy. You
will do what you're told if you know what's good for you."
"I doubt Ranma will see it the same way as you do, Akira."
"What do I care about the boy's opinions?"
"They mean everything where Ranma's concerned, because if you try to force
him to go against them you get him, Ryoga, Shampoo, Akane, Ranko, Mortise
and possibly that Prince Herb character upside the head. Ranma wrestled a
large bear when he was twelve. He killed it. Ryoga is substantially stronger
than him - she could pick me and my bike up and lift me and my bike over her
head when she was thirteen. It's weird - she used to be very weak. Something
happened to her one time she was lost."
"Hmph - you've accepted Ryoga's sex-change very readily."
"Yeah, because I care about my children's feelings! You do know that
Nodoka's got her family's katana, don't you?"
"You what? You let her keep it?"
"It wasn't a matter of 'let', Akira. She's as bloody minded as Ranma."
"Why didn't you just forceably take it off her?"
"That's oh so easy for you to say. Trying to take something off of HER? That
would be as good as committing suicide!"
"Oh for- She's Mundane, boy!"
"That doesn't mean very much, old man. Remember which Mundanes you're
talking about there? The Moroboshi family?"
Akira snorted. "We beat them once and we can beat them again!"
"We beat them once by backstabbing, ganging up and playing dirty! But now
they're family so it's a hell of a lot more personal!"
"Now look here, boy!"
"No, you look here. I'm right and you damn well know it! It's not me who
just got his ass kicked, remember?"
"That's not the point. I could have taken him easily and we both know why I
couldn't. He's not ready to know and he just proved it."
"Mortise knows." Soun pointed out. "He thinks very highly of Ranma and I
reckon it's only a matter of time before either he tells the kids or Nabiki
twigs and tells them."
Genma snorted. "Nabiki's already twigged. Why she's not told Ranma I don't
know."
"Absolute rubbish! Of course she hasn't figured out! She's seventeen and a
girl. No way can she have figured."
It was Soun's turn to snort. "You don't know Nabiki. Anything worth knowing
she knows. And this is most definitely worth knowing."
"You're getting worked up over nothing-"
"No we're not. Nabiki's smelt a rat bigstyle and I know it. One of my
contacts told me she was asking about the Saotomes, the Tendos and the
Amazons and getting answers. Answers that happen to be accurate."
"Such as?"
"What we really are. She knows, but I don't know if she believes it."
"She's a girl. Of course she won't believe that!"
"I wouldn't be so sure. She's been scared shitless lately. Any idiot can
smell the fear stink coming off her. Ranma offered to help her and she said,
and I quote 'it isn't something that can be dealt with by beating the shit
out of it.' She knows, all right. How much is suspicion I don't know, but
she does know our kind exist."
Akira sat down. "Oh, hell."
Genma snorted. "Well she's one less kid who's going to be scared halfway to
a heart attack."
"That self same shock is a vital ingredient of initiation!"
"I don't see why we need to make our kids think they can't trust us. Ranma
tends to kill people he doesn't trust - and if he had a weapon like that you
would be dead, Akira Saotome. The boy has the best fighting instincts I have
ever seen."
Akira snorted. "Rubbish! I have too much experience."
"Ranma's fought to other people's death sixty odd times, Akira. He knows how
to kill quickly and efficiently - if he needs to. And he killed a guy who
once beat you. Remember that mad master fifteen years ago?"

************************************

Nabiki pulled out the headphone plug.
"Yes, Genma. I have already twigged." she murmured. It was time to teach
that Akira Saotome character the error of his ways. She quickly copied the
recording to a tape and glanced out the window.
"Bugger." None of the others were there. Their bikes were certainly gone.
She shrugged. That was a minuscule setback - it would delay her for a few
hours at the most. She wrote 'Play me' on the tape and left it under Akane's
pillow, right where she knew her sister left her gun when in bed.

************************************

Ranma handed Akane a beer and sat back with a fag hanging out of his mouth.
"Fuck sake. That Akira character - what a fuckhead."
Mortise snorted. "I've known the bastard for a couple of years.
Unfortunately."
Shampoo scratched her head. "I is see him before. Not mind where."
"Say, anyone figure why Dad looks up to him? The dickhead can't be much
older than twenty! I mean, Dad's in his forties, man!"
Mortise snorted again. "He's a good bit older than he looks. By a few
centuries, or so I'm told. Ending up looking like a pickled monkey is an
optional part of stopping yourself dieing of old age."
"Say what? What the fuck is that creep anyway?"
"Trouble with an upper case T."
"Yeah - that's the first time any bugger's gotten up right after I kicked
them like that. Four fuckheads I kicked like that didn't ever get up."
Akane gave him a shocked look. "You've killed people?"
"Only in self defence. It wuz kill or be killed. Me an' dad've been a lotta
places where ya get a lotta bandit types. They tend ta fuck off real quick
if ya kick their leader's head off. It don't feel good in here-" he tapped
his chest "-But I hadta. I didn't have any fuckin' choice."
Mortise nodded. "Most murders are crimes of necessity, not choice. Fact of
life, my friend."
"That's a good way o' puttin' it. It's not like I got up an' went 'right,
today I'm gonna kill someone'. It happened because they wuz gonna kill us."
Shampoo sighed. "I no think I be able for kill person."
"That's not somethin' ta be ashamed o'. It's simple - th' harder it is th'
better a person ya are. If ya can kill without havin' regrets then yer a
psycho." Ranma sniggered and pulled off his jacket. He tapped a gunshot scar
on his stomach. "Sounds pretty weird comin' from th' chick who gave me
that."
Shampoo looked closer. She could see the exit scar a few inches over. The
bullet had just clipped him.
"I is actually hit you?"
"Yep. Lucky I know howta take a few knocks. I've had worse."
To Ranma's surprise everyone else's expressions suddenly changed to looks of
complete horror. Ranko rolled onto her back and cocked her pump - action leg
in one smooth movement.
"RANMA! LOOK OUT!" Akane threw herself at him and bowled him flat on his
back.
Ranko's gun crashed. She chambered another round and fired again, keeping
cranking off shots in a frenzy. The blasts were going over Akane and Ranma
at an ever increasing angle.
Then there was a very big bird there. It was an ugly, scrawny looking grey
creature not unlike a cross between a vulture and a parrot. Akane screamed.
Ranma lost it.
He drew his GP35 and blasted off five rounds at the bird. The first shot
missed and whined off a streetlight. The second round clipped it's claw. The
third, fourth and fifth shots were good solid hits. One caught it right up
the arse, the second went through it's wing while the third hit it under the
chin. It screamed and started to drop out the air. To Ranma's immense
surprise it changed into a teenage girl as it fell.
Mortise was on his feet. His eyes were glowing red and his fangs were out.
"THERE'S TWO MORE!"
Ranma rolled round, shoving Akane underneath himself as he did so. He let
fly at the second bird, hitting it right in the face with five bullets. It
dropped like a stone. Again it turned into a teenage girl. She smashed into
the ground head first.
Her brains splattered across the path she had landed on.
Ranma moved to track in on the third bird - thing. To his horror it had just
grabbed Shampoo.
She screamed, first in anger then terror as Ranma's bullets whined past her,
hitting the bird with solid thunks and splattering Shampoo with blood.
She and the bird - now an unconscious teenage girl - landed in a heap on the
grass. Ranma jumped up and sprinted over.
"Shampoo! Are you okay?"
She paused to check all her body parts were still there. "I think so... Oh!"
"What? Did I hit you?"
"No, no. I is knowing she." She pointed at the girl she was half laying on.
"Bloody hell - the bullet wounds have fuckin' vanished!"
Mortise frowned "Ranma - did you have the wolfsbane tipped rounds in your
gun?"
Ranma paused and felt around in his pockets then dropped the magazine out of
his gun. He examined the bullet in the top of the clip then nodded.
"Yeah. Why?"
"You know what I said wolfsbane does to shapeshifters? Stops 'em
shapeshifting? Well, guess what happens if you hit them with wolfsbane when
they're in a non-human form."
"You're saying it forces 'em back to human?"
"Yep. Which means this trio are Amerai." He jerked his thumb at the crumpled
figure on the path. "Though she won't be getting up. That fall splattered
her brains out, which is too much for her to heal."
"But I is knowing she! She be Amazon warrior! Her name Tiger!"
"Yes, didn't anyone ever tell you? A good number of the Amazons are Amerai."
"Tiger be main lackey of Kou Loun."
"You mean that Cow Lone bitch ass pickled monkey's playin' th' 'let's fuck
with th' Saotomes' game?"
"I is think be so."
"Then we gotta go tell her exactly what we think o' her - wiv lead."

Later dudes, lunch break's over.

Chapter 16: Chinese Werewolf in Tokyo
"You've pushed me too much now you'll watch me snap!" - Suicidal Tendencies,
'Get Whacked'

"It was frightening enough when we thought it was something that happened to
other people. Then Shampoo Firsted and the fact we were too was shoved right
into our faces." - Akane Saotome.

************************************

Ranma watched the strange Amazon come round. Whereupon he picked her up by
the front of the shirt.
They had searched her for weapons, finding six knives, a Czech - made
Skorpion machine pistol and a Makarov handgun. Both guns were loaded with
what Akane recognised as explosive bullets. They had taken her back to the
house and she was now laying on the garage floor with her hands tied behind
her back.
"Okay, bitch. We got yer number - who set ya up fer this? Because they done
a damnfool stunt."
"Fuck you."
Ryoga laughed. "Nah, it's you who's fucked. Xian Pu recognised you."
"Fuck! Wolfsbane! You dirty bastard!"
"Nah, it's you pulled th' dirty fuckin' stunt, bitch."
Mortise smirked. "Well, there was enough wolfsbane in those nine bullets to
stop her shapeshifting for a good four or five days. So we've got plenty
time before we need to dose her again."
"You fucking bastards! I was following orders, surely you can't blame me for
that! It wasn't my choice!"
"So fuck. Big deal. Th' point is, ya fucked with us. Akane, show th' bitch
th' big gun, huh?"
Akane hefted the M60. "So what do you make of this? I've got a few more of
these and we're going to pay the damn Amazons a little visit. Of course,
we'll have our slugs spiked with wolfsbane. We're going to blow Cow Lone so
full of holes her shadow will fucking vanish."
"You plan to kill Kou Loun?"
"Plan ain't the word, bitch. Shampoo says you work fer that fuckin' pickled
monkey. She made it fuckin' personal in a big way."
Mortise sniggered again. "Of course, we'll dose you with plenty wolfsbane
before you go. Where do we stash the bitch?"
Akane smirked. "I have the perfect place..."
"Huh?"
"You know that pile of boxes I got this from behind? There's a concealed
hatch in the floor below it. That leads to three hidden rooms. We can
quickly and easily modify the furthest from the hatch into a cell."
"A hidden basement?"
"Yes, it's where I stash all my guns. The hatch is eighteen feet thick and
there's a subway running under this house. That would throw the Slime off a
good bit if they brought one of those ultrasonic pinger things in." She
paused. "And I've got a fair stash of firearms down there. It'll easily be
enough to arm all of us."
"An eighteen foot thick hatch? How th' fuck?"
"Bring this bitch down and I'll show you. Oh, and the doors are closed off
just as thoroughly."
They dragged the angry Amazon through the house and down into the basement.
Having hefted her over the pile of cardboard boxes Akane made all of them
stand in a tight circle. Then she pulled out a Swiss army knife and turned
an exposed screw. There was a click followed by a slight hiss. Both sounds
would easily be missed from the far side of the gargantuan pile of boxes.
The hiss was accompanied by a large square section of the floor sinking into
the ground.
Ranma whistled. "Awesome! Why's there no light comin' from th' basement?"
"Because a panel slides into place and fills the hole."
"Akane, how th' fuck did ya get this done?"
"Think about it, Ranma. Who else is top of the mechanics class? Me. Only I
don't deal with vehicles. I do other stuff." She chuckled. "The hydraulics
came out of a smashed up crane - they were the ones that telescoped it's
arm. The hatch we're standing on weighs over a hundred tons."
"Holy fuck! That's what I call engineering!"
"It's a good thing the basement's carpeted and the carpet's glued to the
floor - I found a spare roll of the original carpet and dirtied it up. I had
to be really precise so it fitted properly."
Shampoo scratched her head. "Mao Xing would like this."
"Fuck him, I like this! Holy shit, check out th' fuckin' arsenal!"
Akane nodded. "You name it I've got it. That's a 25mm IFV cannon. There's a
bazooka over there. This is a helicopter minigun as used in Vietnam. This is
a backpack flamethrower - World War 2 design. That cupboard's full of
assault rifles, the machine guns are in here and these two have handguns,
shotguns, sub-machine guns and so on in them. That door leads to the
workshop where I make everything. The third room is the storeroom - where I
keep the raw materiels."
"You've got a fuckin' weapons factory down here! This is so cool!"
"Yeah, it is. Isn't it. I've only test fired most of them - I just like the
secure feeling of having lots of very big guns around."
Mortise laughed. "Lots? I'll say! You could equip a fucking army from this
lot!"
"So what's everyone waiting for, then?"
Ranma paused. "One, we gotta lock this bitch up. Two, we gotta make a plan."
"Right. Ryoga, want to give me a hand moving my metal and explosives? You
need to be very careful with the powder - if that lot went up the house
wouldn't be there. Ranma, put out your cigarette."
"Because you're gonna be moving gunpowder around, right?"
"Yeah. No point leaving our prisoner in a room with enough bomb to flatten
half the street. I've got three tons of rifle propellant down here."
"Fuckin' hell! That'd make one helluva bang!"
"Yeah, it would wouldn't it. It's high performance rifle powder to boot. I
keep the rocket fuel really deep in a buried tank. I drilled down with a
laser and used the laser probe to carve out a bit at a time. It took me four
weeks to complete it. It's sealed with plastic I melted into place with the
laser. I tested it for leaks by filling it with water for a month then
checking to see if any had drained out. It hadn't. So now I keep a few
thousand gallons of Astralite in it."
"Astralite? As in liquid explosives?"
"Yeah, rocket fuel. I've been working on this place since I was ten."
"Wicked..."
"Come on, Ryoga! Get your ass into gear!"
Ryoga nodded and cracked her knuckles. "Okay, let's get this shit shifted."
"I'll cut a dedicated cell once we get back from China. It can become this
crazy bitch's home."

************************************

The gang of teenagers sauntered out of the house. Most of them had
cigarettes hanging out of their mouths.
Ranma glanced at Akira's car. "Faaurgh."
Ranko snorted. "Fucking cars."
Ryoga made a grotesque face. "Fucking slow pile of crap."
Mortise glanced at her. "Slow is one thing that bloody thing isn't. It's a
fucking Shelby Mustang and he's got it supercharged."
"Yeah maybe but does it have afterburners?"
"What? Oh yeah, you ride a two wheeled cruise missile."
"Ha. I can outrun Pig helicopters if I hit the big red button."
"Big red button?"
"Afterburners you nong!"
"You seriously have afterburners on that thing?"
"Yep."
"Jesus fucking wept!"
"Awesome, huh?"
Shampoo scratched her head. "I is need for go shops."
"Kay. See ya later - I got shit ta do."
Shampoo nodded and swung aboard her bike. She stuffed her lid on and grinned
at the others. "I see ya."
"Later, Shampoo."
Ranma swung onto his bike. "I'm needin' ta get a new set o' tyres, I'll see
ya lot around. Later!"
He swung onto his bike, stuffing his lid on as he did so. The two engines
snorted into life and both teenagers rode off out of the driveway.
Akane watched them go for a moment.
"Well, what are you lot waiting for? We've got a war to prepare for!"
They turned and walked back into the house through the garage, not noticing
Akira dash out the front door, dive into his car and drive off after Ranma.

************************************

Akira planted his foot on the throttle sending the gleaming black Mustang
tearing down the street after the camouflaged bike.
John Kirth sat up in the back seat. "What's happening?"
"Trouble, John. I smelt the change on that young Amazon girl."
John shut his eyes. "Oh, shit. If she goes mental in the street we're all
finished!"
Takashi straightened up. "Lord, what are we going to do?"
"I have a plan... I don't know if it'll work, but..."
John snorted. "We need to find Ranma. I overheard him mention that he has
wolfsbane tipped handgun bullets."
"The boy knows how to use wolfsbane? Hmm, he's smarter than I thought."
"Any idea how close it is?"
"Hours. Maybe a day at the most."
"Then let's hope she doesn't get in a fight... Ah, she's going into a shop.
Drop me off - I'll speak to her."
"And what are you going to say?"
"I am going to do something that should have been done years ago. I am going
to tell her the truth."
"John, you always know what's best. Go ahead." Akira pulled over.
John Kirth nodded and stepped out of the car. He paused to examine the
camouflaged bike. "Nice."
He turned and looked at the shop sign. A herbalist. More to the point, a
herbalist who happened to be an old friend.
He smirked and walked inside. "Hey, Sara you old goat!"
"John! Well, of all the people!"
"Small world, isn't it. Afraid I can't stop to chat - I have to do
something."
He turned and walked over to Shampoo. "Excuse me, you are Xian Pu of
Joketsuzo, correct?"
Shampoo turned round. She looked the man up and down.
He was European and fairly short for his race - about five foot eight. He
had long mouse brown hair that was tied back in a ponytail and he was
dressed in a black trenchcoat and high boots.
"Is correct. Who you be?"
"I am Magus John Kirth. I have some information you may find useful."
"I no have much money. I not able for afford."
"There is no charge on this information, warrior. An old friend requested
that I tell you certain things." That was bending the truth slightly but he
could live with that.
Shampoo narrowed her eyes. "What like?"
"The true reason your so - called 'great grandmother' has been able to
survive to such a great age. Among other things - such as who, or rather
what, you really are. My friend sensed what we call the change on you."

************************************

Ranma swaggered out of the bike shop and immediately spotted Shampoo's bike
sat outside the shop next door. He ignored the line of cars parked the far
side of the street which is why he never saw Akira's Mustang.
He sat down on his bike and lit up a cigarette. Might as well wait for
Shampoo to come out.

************************************

John Kirth nodded. "Xian Pu, the fact of it is that ninety percent of the
Amazons of Joketsuzo are what we call Amerai. The remaining ten percent are
varied demons, Sidhe and other supernaturals. You are not human. You never
have been human. And you never will be human. You are a day at the most away
from shapeshifting for the first time. I'm not certain, but I think you are
a werewolf."
Shampoo snorted. "If this be so, why I never told?"
"A tradition of your Clan. Children are allowed to believe themselves human.
This makes the shock of the first change far more intense. The child
undergoes extensive personality change due to this shock."
"How I be able for stop this?"
"You can't. Well, you could dose yourself with wolfsbane for the rest of
your life - but why would you want to? An Amerai has many abilities that are
most useful in battle. Such as the ability to quickly and seamlessly heal
all but the most horrible wounds. Amerai can brush off gunshot wounds like
they weren't even there."
"Werewolves be monsters!"
"So are many humans. It's not what you are that counts. It's who you are."
"What?"
"Are you a monster? I don't think so. If you were, why would Ranma Saotome
still be alive?"
"Who you be? Apart from John Kirth? And why you want me believe this crap?"
Shampoo turned and marched out the door.
John Kirth stared after her.
"Oh, hell."

************************************

Ranma looked round as Shampoo walked out the shop.
"Hey, how's it hangin'? I wuz in th' bike shop there an' saw yer bike."
Shampoo grinned. "You was?"
"Yeah, thought I might as well stop an' say hi. I got me new tyres ordered
up so I ain't got shit ta do."
Shampoo nodded and turned to her bike. The back of it was facing Ranma,
which was why he hadn't spotted what she now saw.
"What in hells? Fairing be gone!"
"What the fuck? Someone's nicked yer fairin'?"
Shampoo nodded. She was still gaping at the bare front of the bike. Loose
wires hung down where the headlamps had been ripped away and the mounting
frame was badly distorted.
"Fuck! What fucked be mess with my damn bike?" She shoved the keys into the
ignition and kicked it over. Ranma fired his own machine.
"Shampoo! Check it out - there's a loada busted lamp glass!"
"Yes, is in trail! Let's go get what dick do this!"
The two teenagers tore off along the trail of broken light bulb, not
noticing John Kirth sprint out of the shop and to Akira's car.

************************************

Azusa was completely delighted with the cool shaped thingamajig she had
ripped off of a parked bike. She didn't know why the front of it had been
that shape.
But it certainly was a cool shape.
She barged people out of her way with gay abandon as she skated homewards,
not noticing two bikes and a large black car bearing down on her until it
was way too late.

************************************

Ranma spotted the girl on rollerskates who had Shampoo's bike fairing under
her arm first.
"There! That skater chick!"
Shampoo growled and pulled a lump of 2x4 out of her pocket. She gunned her
bike up a bit and swiped at the girl as she went past.
The piece of timber contacted Azusa's skull with a hollow sounding thunk.
Azusa went head over heels onto her face and Ranma caught the fairing in one
hand as he pulled up.
"For fuck sake! Th' stupid little theif's really fucked it up! It's gonna
take a lotta work ta sort this out."
Shampoo leant over and grabbed Azusa by the back of the shirt. "Hey! I is
gonna kill you!"
"She fucked with yer damn bike! Let's give th' bitch a closeup o' our
boots!"
Azusa got her head back in order. She yanked free of Shampoo's grip and
grabbed at the fairing.
"Get off, ya bitch! Fuckin' theif!" Ranma kicked her in the head.
"How dare you!"
"How dare we what? You're the one who ain't heard o' property damage or
theft."
"Fuck you! That whatever's mine and you peasants can't stop me!" She pulled
a shuriken out of her pocket and threw it at Shampoo. It slapped into her
shoulder.
Ranma swore. "Ya dirty fuck!" He launched a series of punches at her which
she dodged, spinning round him on her rollerskates and grabbing at the
fairing.
Both were suddenly distracted by a sticky sounding pop.
Shampoo dropped the shuriken she had just pulled out of her arm. She gritted
her teeth. "Now I is lots MAD!"
"Shampoo! Are you alright?"
Shampoo ignored Ranma's yell. She stood smoothly up and started to walk
towards Azusa, drawing her blackened katana as she did so.
"You be so dead!"
Azusa laughed. "Ah well, I think it's time to stop aiming to injure!" She
pulled another shuriken out of her pocket and threw it at Shampoo.
It smacked into her neck just under her chin. Blood stated to pour out the
slash.
It was too much. Shampoo's katana tumbled out of her hand as she started to
grow and twist.
Ranma stared as the Chinese girl's clothes stretched then ripped. And she
was still getting bigger.
And hairier. Her face started to push forwards into an animal shape. Her
heels slid back and up. A bushy tail popped out of the back of her shredded
trousers.
Then the shuriken dropped out of her neck with one final pop.
Ranma was jerked back to reality by Azusa's scream as the skater girl turned
and headed away at full speed. Shampoo started to sprint after her.
He dropped the fairing, thumbed the starter and went after the two, drawing
his GP35 as he went. It didn't take him long at all to catch up.
Shampoo was closing rapidly on Azusa. Ranma realised he had one option left.
He couldn't let Shampoo be branded a murderer. She was family.
His gun roared once. It was a beautiful shot - the slug caught Shampoo in
the shoulder. She returned to her human form and slumped face down on the
pavement.
Akira skidded his car to a halt.
"Time to face up to some facts, Ranma."

************************************

"Okay, Akira! I want th' whole fuckin' truth an' I fuckin' want it now! Ya
got me?"
It was two hours later and the whole gang were gathered in the Tendo's
living room waiting for Akira's explanation.
Akira nodded. "Yes, yes. Whatever. As you may have noticed, Shampoo happens
to be a werewolf. As are ninety percent of the Amazons. That's it."
Nabiki snorted. "Akira, are you really sure you're not missing some stuff?"
"Yes. I am sure."
"What does this word 'Amerai' mean?"
"Huh? Oh, it's the name for the species that makes up ninety-nine percent of
shapeshifters."
"If you've just told us the whole truth, why do my contacts keep telling me
that both the Tendo and Saotome families are what they call 'Amerai'? I
think you're trying to crap us on, mister Akira Saotome."
Ranma stood up. "We know ya regenerate, Akira. Why? Is Nabiki right or has
she been bullshitted?"
"Absolute-"
"Truth." interrupted a voice from the door. Mortise smirked at Akira. "And
it's well past time you told these kids the whole twisted tale. Including
where the Amazons came from, what the Moroboshi family are and where the
Tendo line came from. Or I'm going to tell them. I was respecting your
clan's dumb fuck tradition of keeping it dark from the kids, but enough is
enough."
Akira glared at him. "You... you backstabbing bastard!"
"Pot calling the kettle black, Lord Packmaster."
Akira groaned. "Very well, then. You have me there."
He stood up. "Firstly, as Nabiki said the Saotome family are comprised of
Amerai. We are werecreatures. More, Clan Saotome is a lot bigger than you
think. There's nearly a million of us. Only a few thousand are named
Saotome, the rest are blood relatives. Historically, one of the strongest of
these bloodlines was that of a man named Tendo."
"Ya mean th' Tendo's are related to us?"
"Very, very distantly. I think you and Akane shared an ancestor around
fifteen or sixteen generations ago. However, the Tendo line split from the
Clan some five hundred years ago. After young Genma befriended the boy who
would inherit the Tendo line - Soun - we and Soun had a long discussion. We
decided that the time had come to reunite the Tendo bloodline with our
Clan." Akira shrugged. "That's why I am so happy to see you married to
Akane."
"So were'd th' Amazons come inta all o' this?"
"Over two and a half thousand years ago, that's when. There was a schism in
the Clan. Most stayed loyal to the Lord Packmaster, but certain of our
number at the time - mainly women, actually - abandoned the Clan for reasons
I'm not sure of. They migrated to Arabia then spent a thousand years
travelling around before they finally settled in what became China. They are
still technically at war with us."
"An' what's this about the Moroboshi family?"
"Them? They're a particularly vicious pack of Mundanes - sorry, Humans. We
call them Mundanes, right? It's more secretive."
Nabiki narrowed her eyes. "And how about you? Who, or rather what, are you?"
"I am the war leader of our people. I am nearly three thousand years old and
I am SICK of my life. Nearly a million people who don't seem to be able to
put their clothes on without me telling them which end their trousers go?
For two and a half thousand years. Well, as soon as you are ready it's over,
Ranma. I am going to kill myself. You think I decided who was going to
replace me? Nah - I would have decided about a thousand bloody years ago!"
"So who decided?"
"Not who, what."
"Ya what?"
Akira sighed and picked up his briefcase. He flipped it open.
"That did."
"A fuckin' photo o' me?"
"Not a photo. It's a sheet of blank paper. Take your jacket off and you'll
see."
Ranma snorted and took his jacket off. The image on the piece of paper
copied his motions.
"What - th' - fuck?"
"Yeah. It always carried the image of the heir to Packmastery. When there is
one. Your face is the second one I've seen on it... and the first was mine.
Keep it."
Ranma shook his head. "There's gotta be a better way. I mean, lettin' that
depend on some bit or shit o' paper?"
"It's an important tradition!"
"Well, d'ya know just where ya can shove traditions? Up yer fuckin' arse!"
He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "But we can sort that shite out
later. We got a war ta fight."
"A war?"

************************************

Ranma glared across the deck of the ship. Akira had insisted on using a ship
belonging to the Saotome clan (of course) and the entire crew were
werewolves (of course) so Ranma was planning to give them the slip. Of
course.
This was personal. It was him and the girls who had been attacked. It was
none of Akira's business.
None whatsoever.
He glanced around the deck of the ship. The bikes were strapped to the
decking with tarpaulins over them. Beside them was a minibus. More like a
four wheeled tank than a bus. The thing was armoured and had a couple of
25mm cannons hidden so they fired between the bumper and radiator grille.
The number plate flipped down from in front of them.
However, the bus could only manage sixty miles per hour. Perhaps forty on
the sort of road they would be using.
Which meant that the bikes would burn the bus off completely in seconds.
Ranko's HD was the slowest and it could manage 120. Maybe sixty or seventy
on the Chinese roads. Nice, narrow, twisty roads. Perfect for leaving a four
wheeled piece of crap behind.
By the time Akira and his goons got to Joketsuzo Ranma and company would
have been and gone.
He smirked again. It was their own stupid fault. Using that four wheeled
tank had been Akira's idea. The old fart (as Ranma now thought of him) had
ranted on about it being intrinsically his business for over an hour. Ranma
had eventually shut him up by getting out a set of darts and using Akira's
chest as a dartboard.
Which had been very funny indeed.

Finito.

Chapter 17: This Time It's War!
"It's not a matter of right, it's just a matter of war" - Ministry, 'Hero'

"The civil war was inevitable; we had a heavily armed society that was split
at the core. Ranma didn't cause it, he just dropped some sparks in the
powderkeg. Everything was set to blow and we'd been expecting it to go up
for months." - Mi Soon, interview for Channel 9 News, March 2020.

************************************

Ranma swung onto his bike. He was a lot glad to get clear of the ship.
"Okay, everyone! We've been talkin' about this fer three days - let's do
it!"
A polite cough came from behind them.
"Excuse me, guys. But I'm coming with you."
John Kirth stood there with a sly grin on his face. He was dressed in padded
jeans, an Ogri T-shirt and a black leather jacket.
He had an open face skidlid under his arm and was standing beside a somewhat
heavily used looking Kawasaki motocross bike.
Ranma stared at him for a moment. "You gotten a weapon?"
John snorted. He snapped his hands out and there was suddenly a .50 Desert
Eagle clenched in each hand.
"Silver slugs tipped with a hollow compartment - thin enough to burst on
impact- containing a mix of holy water, wolfsbane and graphite. Multi - role
antisupernatural ammunition."
He spun the guns round and they promptly vanished.
"Nice trick.... Er, what the fuck's the graphite for?"
"Dopplegangers. It gives 'em a head explosion."
"What the fuck?"
John thumbed a switch on his bike's handlebars. A pair of MP5s popped out of
his bike's fairing, followed by a trigger mechanism out of the left
handlebar.
"Fine copper foil cups sealed with a nylon plug. Cups contain graphite and
silver balls in a mix of wolfsbane juice and holy water. Again, multi - role
antisupernatural slugs."
"Hey - if yer just a defenceless unimportant HUMAN how come Akira th'
fuckhead don't stop ya usin' wolfsbane ammo?"
John Kirth smirked. "Because I can kill him in seven seconds if I get pissed
off. I'm not called Magus for nothing..."
"Ya do magic an' shit? Know anything about Jusenkyo curses?"
"Couple of things. Firstly there is no known cure. Secondly in an Amerai it
becomes voluntary after the First Change. The Amazons have drowned various
monsters at Jusenkyo for that reason - they gain a body for each spring
fallen into. Humans just don't seem to have the ability to control their
new-found link to what we call the Stew."
"The Stew? What the fuck is that?"
"Another dimension - or so Amerai scientists have postulated. A dimension
completely filled with organic matter... or rather, werewolf. With practise
it is possible for an Amerai to learn to control that link enough that they
can take on any body they please. And I really do mean ANY body. You've
never seen a thirteen year old girl transform into a sixty story Godzilla
wannabe and believe me, you don't want to. Her name's Donna Skel. That is
one girl who it's not worth pissing off... I've heard that the bowels of her
Clan's fortress has a room that makes an aircraft hanger look cramped...
because she likes to sleep in Godzilla form. Hell, she's the one who
INSPIRED those tales of giant city - smashing dinosaurs! Yeah, they dug out
God's aircraft hanger in the solid rock under Mount Fuji just so Miss Lady
Packmaster Skel could kip as a fucking Big Mamma T-Rex on steroids." He
smirked. "Of course, all you need to cut her down to size is a Wolfsbane
tipped Stinger missile - or a 125mm cannon frag shell filled with wolfsbane
instead of explosives. That would pierce her fucking scales and give her the
megashrinks. You see, wolfsbane makes you lose conscious control of the link
with the Stew. Healing is reflexive. You have no control of it - it's just
part of the immune system. Shapeshifting is very much under your control. At
first it's under the control of your subconscious. Then the conscious takes
command and you can change forms at will. Wolfsbane jams that link between
your brain and your Stew cells. The bigger the hit the longer it lasts. It's
not an allergy, it's not a poison. It's a drug. Like cocaine, it takes over
control of your nerve endings and overloads specific parts. In this case
outgoing signals to your Stew cells to rebuild your body in another shape.
Once these signals are no longer present, they rebuild you again following
your basic plan. It makes you how you were at First Change... the only part
left is your brain. And even that is susceptible to repairs. In humans brain
cells die off. In Amerai they are rebuilt in place. You still have the same
number of brain cells you had when your brain stopped growing. No human can
say that."
"All of which means?"
"You know what it means. Hit an Amerai with wolfsbane and they shift back to
their human form and they're trapped there until the effect fades. As they
don't exactly go around taking it they don't build up a resistance." Kirth
smirked. "Take the hint - start getting your body used to wolfsbane before
you first change. That could give someone a horrible surprise one day."
"Um - do I already regenerate?"
"Oh, you'll heal far faster than a normal human. Not in seconds, mind. But
still fast. An injury which would have a human in bed for months you would
get over in a few days. That's more than just being tough."
"Looks like Mister Akira's gettin' ready ta roll at fuckin' last. Let's
Rock!"
"Just remember, Ranma. The time of Akira Saotome is over. The time of Ranma
Saotome is about to begin..."
Ranma fingered the bug Nabiki had left in his pocket. He had left in there
because he wanted her to know if anything went wrong. She would know what to
do if things went pear shaped.
Or at least, he hoped so.

************************************

Akira looked up from his preparations at Takashi's shout.
"They're moving out!"
"Shit! You lot, I wanted everything ready five fucking minutes ago! Get your
fucking asses into gear! Go! Go!"

************************************

John smirked again and glanced at his wing mirror. Still no big cloud of
dust from the direction of the port.
It was the man's own stupid fault. He had told Akira to take HIGH SPEED
transport and what did he bring? That bus.
Akira Saotome was not exactly John Kirth's favourite person. He only worked
for Akira because of Ranma.
And eighteen hundred years sure had been a long wait. The first European in
Japan had been John Kirth, a Magus from what was now the United Kingdom of
Great Britain.
After all, Amerai didn't have a monopoly on ceasing to age.
He smirked again. He had a few short months - and forever.
"Stage 11 complete, moving to stage 10."
The countdown to Armageddon had begun.

************************************

Lin-Lin was the best shot in her age group or rather the entire village.
That was why she was sitting in a guard post with a Dragunov sniper rifle in
her hands.
And boy, she was bored. Wu Chii had just taken over watch.
Lin-Lin turned to grab her packed lunch. At that exact moment Wu let out a
warning hiss.
Lin-Lin hastily moved to the firing slit. Third time today. Last lot a trio
of Musk who were heading for Jusenkyo. Through Joketsuzo just to stop and
say hello since one of their number was a certain Prince Herb.
What she saw through her telescopic sight was a group of mean looking flat
black bikes with over armed riders. The lead biker had her helmet off.
"{Wu! It's Xian Pu!}"
"{Gotcha. I'll go and flag them down.}"
Lin-Lin nodded and walked over to the door behind Wu. Shampoo was a special
friend of Lin-Lin's - they had saved each other's lives more than once.
The bikers pulled over. The one hard behind Shampoo pulled his helmet off.
"Hey, Shampoo - what th' fuck's th' holdup?"
"Is check make sure we not fuck Joketsuzo up."
"Well, my hand's an inch from th' fuckin' pistol grip then. Surely some
bugger's gonna know we gotten attacked by Cow Lone's bird creeps so this
ain't exactly gonna be a romantic interlude."
"Calm down. Is all okay."
Wu shot her a confused look. "{What was that all about? Had any luck on your
hunt yet? You'd better.}"
"{Well, Ranma doesn't think much of the reception committee and I've both
had luck and not had luck on my hunt. The target stayed the same but the aim
changed.}"
"{You what? You're heterosexual so what's the story?}"
"{My target turned out to be a seventeen year old man who had fallen into
Spring of Drowned Girl. Get my drift? Oh, and I've got one in the oven.}"
"{You what? Aw, you'll have to tell me later. Gotta get back to guard - pass
me your ID and I'll check it out.}" Wu sounded positively bored by the
thought.
"Hey, Shampoo - how th' fuck many chicks are there in that fuckin' pillbox?"
"Two."
"Great, let's rock an' roll. Translate fer me willya?"
Shampoo nodded. Everyone drew their guns - silenced MP5's.
Ranma smiled smugly. "Either of ya move a muscle an' yer body hits that
fuckin' wall with enough holes that yer gonna win th' next Miss Colander
award."
Wu stared. Shampoo sighed. "{I'm sorry, Wu Chii... but the only ID you'll
get contains lead and wolfsbane. I don't like doing this to old friends, but
we've got a bone to pick with Kou Loun so we'll just have to tie you two
up.}"
"{You fucking traitor!}"
"{You really think I want to attack my own village? Kou Loun forced me to
take this route by being an outright back stabbing bitch. She sicced Tiger
and company on me. They nearly got us. Luckily we had wolfsbane slugs.}"
"{You know.}"
"{Yes. I know what I am.}"
"{Lin-Lin - drop the gun. We're not going to even try to stand in your way,
Xian Pu. I guess we can get together for a few beers after the smoke and
shit has cleared, right?}"
Shampoo nodded. Wu placed her AK47 against a rock, pulled a Makarov from
each pocket and placed them on the rock, tugged a dagger out of each boot,
another out of the heel of one boot then finally pulled a sawn-off shotgun
out of her jacket.
John swung off his crosser. He pulled his helmet off and stared at the pile
as Lin-Lin added her Dragunov, an elephant rifle, no less than seven
handguns and a Skorpion machine pistol to the pile.
He whistled. "{Nice arsenal there, cat-girl. Nice mindshield too - I can't
get any of your thoughts.}"
"{You're psychic?}"
"{No, I'm a Magus.}" He switched to Japanese. "Say, I'd better make sure
they won't get their restraints off by shapeshifting." He fished around in
his back pocket and came out with two heavy sets of manacles.
Shampoo shook her head. "No, we use rope."
"Ya want these chicks gettin' out?"
"Well - yes. They old friends."
Ranma snorted. "I ain't gonna risk them not backstabbin' us. We don't know
where their fuckin' loyalties really are."
Shampoo paused. "Okay, okay. Is enough, go ahead."
John Kirth nodded.
"Hey! Why them not just snap chain with shapeshift?"
"Because a leviathan isn't strong enough to snap these. They're hardened.
You could lift enough metal with one of these to make ten of those tramp
freighters Akira hauled us here in."
"Is you able for set them up to undo in one hour?"
"Huh? Yes."
"Do it." Shampoo turned back to the two Amazons. "{These bonds will fall off
in one hour if we don't come back.}" She grabbed the M60 off the back of her
bike. "{If we don't, take this and avenge us - perforate Kou Loun.}"
"{You're going to kill her, right?}"
"{We'll try.}"

************************************

They pulled up in the village square and glanced around. Nobody was taking
much notice of them.
That was until Ranma drew his GP35 and blasted a couple of shots off into
the ground. Within moments every Amazon in the village had poured into the
square with guns in their hands.
Ryoga glanced at the gun that was slung across her back, shrugged and swung
it round. It was Akane's 25mm cannon. They had made a stock and pistol grip
for it on the off chance Ryoga could hand fire it. She could.
Akane grinned and slapped the minigun that was clamped to her bike's
handlebars.
John thumbed the button on his bike's handlebars and the two MP5's revealed
themselves.
Ranko made a face and cocked her pump - action leg.
Shampoo swung her AK off her shoulder.
Ranma lifted an M60 off the back of his bike.
Mortise cracked his knuckles then unholstered a pair of MP5K's.
Ranma nodded. "Okay, Shampoo - ya do th' talkin'."
Shampoo glanced around the village square.
"{Where's Matriarch Kou Loun? We've got a bone to pick with the bitch.}"

************************************

Kou Loun looked up from her writings as a tall thin youth charged into her
hut.
"{What is the meaning of this, boy? You had better have a good reason.}"
"{It's Xian Pu - she's back. But there's a hitch - she's got a bunch of
overarmed bikers with her and she says she's got a bone to pick with you!}"
"{Ah. I see... so the Saotomes are here at last.}"
"{Huh?}"
"{Get out of here, lad.}"
Mu Tze hastily backed out of the room. Why the hell had the Matriarch called
him 'lad' rather than 'Boy' or 'Idiot'? (Not that there was any real
difference in usage in the Amazon's dialect.)

************************************

Ranma idly popped a fag into his mouth. He passed the deck around. Ranko,
Mortise and Ryoga each took one.
They then resumed their abrasive slag - off of the Amazons.
"Check these wankers out! They all gotten fuckin' Russian shooters. Everyone
wiv half a brain knows that th' Germans make th' best guns!"
Akane snorted. "I prefer British designs."
"Nah, th' Brits are only good on tanks an' jets. Look, th' Germans made th'
MP5. What'd the Brits do? Th' fuckin' Sterlin'. An' th' Yanks made that
Ingram MAC10 heap o' shite."
"Hey, look at that! These idiots sure don't know the meaning of camouflage!"
"By th' look o' it they got their guns set on rock an' roll. If they open
fire they're gonna get each other as well as us."
John snorted. "No, they won't get us unless they go hand - to - hand. I took
the liberty of adding deflector fields to your bikes - so stay with them."
"Ya done what?"
"As long as you're on your bikes you're bullet proof."
"Now that's my idea o' fuckin' good news!"
Kou Loun walked out of the crowd. She had four other Amazon elders hard
behind her.
"What is going on here?"
"That's what we're wantin' ta find out, ya old bat! What the fuck were yer
bird thing goons playin' at?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why Tiger, Su Wong and Dart attack we?"
"Repeat that, please?"
"Why did Tiger, Su Wong and Dart attack we? Is there be point in this?"
"Spill it, pickled monkey bitch. We got ya number - these babies are loaded
wiv wolfsbane tipped slugs. So ya gotta ask yerself - just how lucky do ya
feel?"
"Wolfsbane, huh? Just the sort of low trick I would expect of a Saotome."
"Keep th' insults ta yerself, hag. Or we're gonna fill ya with lead."
"Why Tiger and company attack on us? Own up!"
One of the other elders growled something. "Grrmmph. Kou Loun, are you
trying to provoke Clan Saotome? Surely Hanovan told you this Ranma boy is
Akira's heir? We don't need their army pouring into our village!"
"Keep your nose out of this, Mi Soon."
"No. It is as much my business as it is yours - especially if you have
ordered an act that endangered Joketsuzo."
"I said, keep your nose out of this. Unless you want it ripped off."
"I'm startin' ta get an itch in my trigger finger, Cow Lone. So ya better
spill it before my finger starts twitchin'. Then we'd find out how much
wolfsbane is a fatal dose, huh?"
"They were ordered to retrieve my heir, boy. By any means necessary."
"Then ya fucked up bigstyle, ya stupid fuck! I was gonna leave ya an' yer
damn shithole village the fuck alone but would ya let sleepin' dogs lie? Oh
no, ya gotta stamp in th' fuckin' wasp nest! I'm so fuckin' pissed off it's
a surprise you ain't just won th' next Miss Swiss Cheese award! Ya fuckin'
stupid bitch - ya want me ta ice ya? Ya want me ta flatten this shithole?
Two o' yer bird bitch goons ain't livin' any more. An' I'm startin' ta feel
like another little kill markin' on me fuel tank. Ya want it ta be ya? Then
go right ahead with yer bullshit!"
He paused for breath. Mi Soon groaned.
"Kou Loun, you idiot!"
"And look who's talking?"
Somebody growled from the crowd. A stone spiralled out of the mob and caught
Kou Loun on the back of the head.
Guns dropped to the ground as the massed Amazons forgot about firearms and
started attacking each other the old fashioned way. Within moments the whole
village had devolved into a huge melee of lupine figures.
Ranma glanced at John.
"Now this's gotta be my idea o' a spectator sport!"
John pointed at an Amazon who was charging at Ryoga with a drawn sword.
"Yeah, but it looks like we're about to get involved!"
Ryoga chose that exact moment to open fire. Then all hell broke loose.
Bullets were flying everywhere, things exploding, people yelling and
screaming, guns crashing and more blood spilt than any of the NJMS had ever
seen before. Well, apart from Ryoga who had once seen the inside of a
slaughterhouse.
Ryoga laughed at the Amazon who had charged her as she staggered to her
feet, now human. "{Stupid fuck. Katana versus 25mm cannon. Give it up,
baby.}"
"{Fuck you, Saotome filth! You're gonna-}" Before she could finish another
Amazon werewolf rushed up behind her and ripped her head off with a single
claw strike. "{Hey, Saotome! Need a hand?}"
"{Thanks for the offer, but I think we can handle it.}"
The Amazon ducked under a sword blow and kicked the attacker's head hard
enough to snap her neck. "{Yeah, but we need to get out of here. Are you
people willing to help us?}"
"Hey, Ranma! Seems half of these chicks want outta here!"
"Yeah sis? Well, why not?"
Ryoga grinned at the wolfwoman. "{You're in luck. Got transport?}"
"{Sure have. Hey, Mi Soon!}"
A small wolfwoman smashed out of the melee. "{You called?}"
"{Let's roll out!}"
Around half the Amazons began to form a battle line around the Saotome crew,
facing outwards. It took about ten minutes to drive the other Amazons back
enough to load the old Chinese army trucks that were parked in various
places around the village, then another four minutes to get everyone
rolling.

************************************

Akira glared out of the minibus windscreen as the Chinese countryside
rattled past under it's wheels. He hadn't expected Kirth to take off with
the kids, but it was probably a good thing.
A convoy of old Chinese army trucks with the Nerima Juvenile Mayhem Squad at
it's head suddenly rounded the next corner.
The truck's crews were obviously Amazons.
"Oh My God! What's that blasted boy done this time?"

fineesh - a - da parta seventeen

Chapter 18: Welcome to the Madhouse
'I'm not crazy... You're the one that's crazy!" - Suicidal Tendencies,
'Institutionalised'

"I didn't expect to be dragging several hundred heavily armed Amazons along
when I came home. Hell, why would I have expected it? I thought it was going
to be a case of go to China, punk Kou Loun, go home. Like, not." - Ranma
Saotome.

************************************

Akira glared at Ranma. They were back in the black market harbour the
Saotome ship had docked at
"So mind telling me exactly what the fuck is going on?"
"These're th' Amazons who didn't want ta piss Clan Saotome off."
"You what?"
"Aw fer fuck sake! Shampoo - let's tell this wanker what's goin' down!"
Shampoo ambled over from where she had been chatting with some friends.
"You is wanting total story, no?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get on with it already."
"Mind yer fuckin' manners unless ya want a boot up th' anus."
Akira rolled his eyes. "Would someone mind telling me just what the fuck's
going on around here?"
Shampoo snorted. "Hmph. There be division in Joketsuzo. How you say -
Conservative and Reformist. Kou Loun be leader of Conservative faction. Mi
Soon be leader of Reformist faction. The split be over returning to Clan
Saotome."
"Let me guess - this crowd are the Reformists?"
"Is so. Us done fight with Conservatives and take as much stuff as we trucks
can haul. Of course, everyone Reformist come, and they families.
Conservatives now have man shortage. Is Reformist - how you say - Policy?"
"That's th' one."
"Yes. Is Reformist policy for to let men do what the hell them please."
"Ah. And most of the guys don't like being told what to do?"
"Is so. Them be sick of it."
"Bloody hell, man... I never foresaw this happening..."
"An' all it took ta do wuz a Ranma. Ya sure are a fuckwit, Akira. Ya woulda
charged in an' blasted everythin' in sight."
Akira paused. "Well, yes. It seemed like the obvious path."
"Well duh. Ya woulda lost a mob o' allies ya wanker!"
"Oh, for fuck sake! When are you going to start giving me some respect?"
"Th' day ya fuckin' earn it. Ya ain't caused nowt but fuckups fer me. So ya
ain't got no respect from me. Get used ta it."
"I suppose we should get everyone aboard and sail as soon as possible."
Ranma turned round.
"OKAY, MI SOON! LOAD 'EM!"
"You're taking the trucks?"
"Yeah. Of course we fuckin' are! They can go inta th' haulage business an'
earn a bit o' good old fashioned wedge that way."

************************************

The only sounds were the sea and the rumble of the ship's diesel engines. It
was a clear night and almost flat calm. The ocean swell had faded during the
day to a gentle lift and fall.
Mi Soon looked down from her silent stargazing as someone jumped onto the
roof of her truck beside her. She was about to ask exactly what whoever it
was thought they were doing when the newcomer's scent hit her. All that came
out of her mouth was a strangled gasp.
Akira Saotome grinned at the wizened woman.
"Good evening, Morian... Or should I say Mi Soon? Long time no see."
"Aki? Is it really you? I thought you were..."
"Dead? No, it takes far more than a few walking corpses to take this old dog
down, little sister."
Mi Soon kept staring at him. She finally regained control of her speech
centres.
"We should never have let my daughter tear us apart."
"Disgusting isn't it? A bloody - minded teenage girl separating her mother
and her uncle. Shattering an entire family."
Mi Soon sighed and nodded. "She is such a handful... at least I never taught
her the ultimate techniques."
"We must be grateful for small mercies."
Mi Soon snorted. "More like we must be glad I had some sense left. She
eventually usurped me, the ungrateful brat."
"So Kou Loun turned out as much of a bitch as I expected."
"You always knew what people would end up like."
"My sixth sense has always been the strongest in the Clan... Sis, why do you
let yourself look like a prune?"
Mi Soon snorted. "Wonderful idea of my daughter's. We have to 'look our
age'. And as I'm 176 years older than she is... I think I'll change my body
back."
"Good. You used to be beautiful." Akira said it as a statement of fact.
"I wonder what Ranma would think if he knew Xian Pu was his seventieth
cousin a few hundred times removed."
"I doubt the lad would give a shit."
"Good for him... You haven't changed much."
Akira sighed. "On the surface maybe. Now I'm just waiting to die."
"Why? What's burnt you out?"
"The Clan. I'm afraid I'm no longer a very popular leader."
"Oh? What did you do wrong?"
"I don't know. I really don't know, sis... it's like I try so hard but
nothing ever works out. I concentrate real hard but I just screw up
everything."
"Maybe you're trying too hard."
"We've got fifty or sixty splinter groups, there's mumblings of discontent
even from the loyal members of the Clan, my heir is shitting on me... what
the hell did I do to deserve this? People are saying I should be thrown
out!"
"Ouch! That is serious!"
Akira nodded miserably. "Yeah. I know. It's a first."
"Yes, discontented Amerai have historically always simply removed themselves
from their Clan. I remember hearing tales of a Clan which died out that way
- the Packmaster was simply abandoned by her entire Clan. But overthrowing
the ruling Packmaster? That's never been done!"
"If I don't die soon I think it's going to happen."
A new voice joined the conversation. "Hey, Akira - I guess that's what ya
get fer bein' a fuckhead. I been talkin' ta th' crew an' everyone I talked
to ya shat on fuckin' heavy. Leaders can only lead when they got support
from who they're leadin' an' fuckin' people over ain't th' way ta earn their
support. Hadn't ya figured that ya dickhead?"
"Ranma? What are you doing up here?"
"Eavesdroppin'. What does it look like ya fuckwit? Oh yeah, ya doin' th' big
crybaby act but why don't ya switch yer fuckin' brains on? Next time think
before ya send yer advisor's parents on a suicide mission. Think before ya
force someone ta marry their daughter ta someone she hates. Think before ya
have someone's girlfriend killed. Think before ya force people ta do stuff
they think's stupid. Think before ya punish people fer screwin' up. But
then, it's far too late fer ya. Yer already fucked, old man. Because
everyone hates yer guts. Me an' my gang included! Ya know, if I felt like it
ya'd get flung over th' side wiv a big fuck off lump o' rock tied ta yer
feet. Yer lucky I don't like murderin' people."
Ranma rolled over and slid off the truck's canvas tilt, landing neatly on
his feet.
"Wait! How much did you hear?"
"Enough. Enough ta know yer a dickhead."
He swaggered away towards the bridge.
Akira stared after him. "That blasted boy!"
"Hmph. I think Ranma will make the Packmaster this Clan needs."
"Oh wonderful, sis. Why don't you screw the knife in further?"

************************************

Ranma walked into the bridge.
"Hey, guys!"
Everyone looked up. "Yeah?"
"I overheard Akira bawlin' his thick head off out there. Th' fuckhead knows
he's fucked. An' I told him why."
The helmsman stared at him. "Er - why?"
"Because he's too stupid ta figure it out, th' fuckwit. He don't know th'
meanin' o' cause an' effect because he's a total wanker."
"Er - you sure you can get away with talking about him like that?"
"Yeah. I fuckin' am. I could rip his fuckin' head off an' shit down his neck
before he even saw me fuckin' move."
"Er - why don't you?"
"Because I don't feel like gettin' even further inta this crap before I need
ta."
"You what?"
"I'm already up ta my neck in fuckin' weirdness. Ya really think I need
more?"
Nobody answered that.
Ranma rolled his eyes and walked out the bridge. He headed down into the
bowels of the ship, finally arriving in the hold that was being used as
sleeping space for the Amazons.
"Hey! Heads up!"
Everyone looked round. Ryoga stood up from where she had been playing cards
with a trio of Amazons and sauntered over.
"Most of this lot are really shit at Japanese, bro."
"An' yer gonna translate - right?"
"Yeah, if you like."
"Thanks." Ranma looked round the room with a definite smirk on his face.
"Get this, everyone! Ya know how I said Akira ain't exactly th' most popular
leader ever? Well, he knows it an' I guess he's gonna jump before he gets
pushed."
Ryoga repeated him in Cantonese. A lot of people laughed.
"Hey, Shampoo! What's th' story?"
Shampoo stood up. "I be talking about old times."
"Right, gotcha. I gotta get some kip - see ya later."
Ranma headed back to his cabin.

************************************

They docked in Japan the next day. After some arguing Akira organised
registration plates for the Amazon's vehicles and they headed homewards with
Ranma leading the way as usual.
Akira sat in his car and stewed. Takashi was driving. John Kirth was not in
the car - he was up ahead on his bike.
Akira picked up his mobile phone and called home.
"Sumiko. Its Akira... Yes, yes... I know that... No... No... Yes, go
ahead... Ah yes. Have every crewmember of the ship we used investigated...
Suspicion of sedition... Shut up and do it."
He switched the mobile off and pocketed it. He was still angry over the way
Ranma had slagged him off.
Whoever had told the boy all that stuff was going to pay dearly for it.

************************************

Ranma watched the road slide past beneath him. He had told the ship's crew
to put to sea and not come back until he called them. Something told him
that Akira would try some Naziesque stunt on that crew. And Ranma liked them
so he didn't want them getting fucked over because of him.

************************************

Akira growled something indistinguishable as his mobile rang.
He grabbed in and switched it on.
"Yes?... Sumiko?... You what?... They did WHAT?... Goddamnit!" He switched
the mobile off and dumped it.
"Damn that blasted boy to hell! This has got to be his doing!"

************************************

Nabiki sighed and put the headphones down.
"Akira Saotome, you are so stupid. Fancy, not using encryption or even
codes?"
A simple radio bug and she now knew he was as much of an arsehole as she had
suspected. And it seemed that Ranma had suspected as well. Certainly if the
bug he was carrying worked.
She turned and checked that the phone tap on Akira's mobile had done it's
job.

************************************

Ranma turned his bike into the Tendo's driveway. The first thing that met
his eyes was a new building.
It had definitely not been there when they left five days ago. He read the
sign on the side. "Saotome Custom Cycles."
Ryoga skidded to a halt.
"Hey, Ryoga! Check it out! Looks like Dad's gone back inta business!"
"Way cool, man! Awesome!"
Kasumi looked up from where she was fiddling with her car's engine. "Like,
welcome back, dudes. How ya been?"
"Hey, this is so cool! How ya doin', Kasumi!"
"What's like, cool, man?"
"Dad's started workin' again, ain't he?"
"Like, yeah, man. The building got finished two days ago. It's like, he's
already gotten a lot of customers, man."
"Everyone sez Dad usta run th' best bike shop in Japan. Reckon he's gonna do
it again, huh? I seen a shitload o' old customs wiv SCC stickers."
Genma stuck his head out of the workshop's side door.
"Ranma! Ryoga! Ranko! You're back!"
"Yeah, sure as shit an' bigots an' smellin' twice as bad. How's business?"
"Picking up nicely. I'm getting a lot of my old customers from Osaka."
"Yeah well, once word spreads around we're gonna be stinkin' rich, huh? Ya
want me workin'?"
"Once business has picked up I'll need help, son. I've got four jobs on at
the moment. Finishing that build for Tendo, fitting a turbo to a GSXR800, a
chop frame build and restoring an old Norton... Say, I could use your help
on the Norton, she's needing a new piston - conrod - crank set."
"OK, I'll get stuck in later. But right now we gotta figure where half a
thousand Amazons can doss down."
"You what?"
Ranma sniggered and started his explanation.

************************************

Shampoo sat and stared into space. The sight and sound of several hundred
Amazons setting up a cramped camp in and around the Tendo's back garden was
downright disturbing. These people belonged in China, not Japan.
Mi Soon and several elders were away trying to buy houses - it turned out
that the immense amounts of motorcycle noise and intermittent violence
around the Tendo home had driven most of the neighbours to leave. It looked
like this small patch of Nerima was going to become the heaviest
concentration of werewolves per square metre on the planet.
Her brother was tinkering with his motorbike nearby. Ranma was chatting with
him while fiddling with his own bike. Ryoga was nowhere in sight but the
occasional thud and roar of afterburners announced that the big catgirl was
doing what she did best - showing off. Akane was out of sight as well.
Mortise and Ranko were having another of their little chats. John Kirth had
taken off somewhere. Even Nabiki was busy.
This left Shampoo completely alone and it was beginning to piss her off.
She started looking around for familiar faces in the crowd of Amazons. One
immediately jumped out at her. Long black hair. Spectacles. White robes that
made her think of a trenchcoat these days.
She stood up and hurried over to where Ranma and her bother were.
"Ranma, there be problem."
"Huh? Wazzup? Some fuckhead decided ta start on onea us?"
"Not yet."
"Waddya mean 'not yet'?"
Her brother looked up. "Huh? Oh... I think I seeing what you say."
Shampoo glanced the way he was looking. "Yes. Mu Tze."
"Er, what the fuck's a moose?"
"Not moose. Mu Tze. Him be I ex."
"Onea yer old flames come ta town?"
"Yes. Him have much big crush on I..."
"An' ya encouraged it once?"
Shampoo nodded. "We once be lovers but we broke up. He no see it that way."
Ranma shut his eyes and groaned loudly. "Aw, great. Does every chick in town
have a fuckin' ex who ain't given up?"
"Huh?"
"Ya know that chick I wuz fightin' when ya showed up? She wuz Akane's ex...
Ya do know Akane's bisexual don't ya?"
Shampoo nodded. "Yes."
Ranma paused. Something in her tone of voice made him feel that the girls
had left him a bit out of the loop at one stage.
"Right. Well, it seems every chick who comes near me's gotten some shithead
ex who don't know th' meanin o' 'fuck off'. I had that shit a few times
before I met Akane."
"Huh? Akane no be your first?"
"Nah. I been dumped fuckin' heavy a time or two. An' there's bin a time or
two when me an' a chick just felt like a fuck. An' of course there's a
couple o' chicks who I hadta split wiv when Dad decided ta get outta town."
Shampoo paused. "Er - when your first?"
"Aw, back when I wuz fourteen. Back in Osaka. Me an' this chick wuz a lot
too pissed. Hey we'd bin hangin' together fer weeks. We hadta split when I
headed fer China wiv Dad." He sighed. "If all this hadn't come up we'd still
be together... Ya shoulda seen her old boyfriend when he found out he'd bin
dumped - I had ta beat th' shit outta him a time or two."
"I not think Mu Tze be give up."
"If he goes at it too fuckin' hard I'll kill him."
"I know."
A male voice with a faint Chinese accent came from behind them.
"Xian Pu!"
She groaned. "Fuck off, Mu Tze!"
Ranma looked up from his carburettors. "Yer her ex, right?"
"Ex?"
"Ex-boyfriend ya wanker! An' ex gimp wiv a white trenchcoat if ya don't
watch it!"
"So what's that meant to mean?"
Ranma smirked. "Are ya gonna tell him or shall I?"
Shampoo paused for a second. "Mu Tze, I be married."
"WHAT?"
Ranma casually stepped over his bike. "So lay offa my wife!"
"WHAT!?!"
"Ya heard me, fuckhead. Th' name's Ranma Saotome. An' in about eight months
there's gonna be another Saotome if ya get my drift..."
"Does that mean what I think it means...?"
"I be pregnant."
Mu Tze looked back at Ranma. "Nothing personal, but I'm gonna rip you in
two!"
Ranma drew his gun. "Well, yer gonna be spittin' up lead!"
"What? Have you no honour whatsoever?"
"Nah. I'm just a guy who looks out fer his family. Honour means doin' what
society sez is th' right thing all th' time. Fuck that - I'm gonna do what I
think's th' right thing all th' time."
A groan came from the left. Ranma rolled his eyes.
"Is that you, Mum?"
Nodoka Saotome pushed her way out of the crowd. "Damnit, Ranma! I-"
"Ya want me ta be somethin' I just plain ain't. I am what I am and yer just
gonna have ta live with it. Sorry but there's only one thing that can make
me change. An' that's me."
"Erm, excuse me, madam... I was trying to start a fight here..."
Nodoka snorted and looked down at herself.
"Madam? I'm a truck driver."
"That doesn't mean I don't need to be polite."
Ranma shoved his gun back into his pocket. "Hey, Moose or whatever th' fuck
yer name is! If a fight's what yer wantin' come on out the front where we
gotten some elbow room an' I'll fuckin' give ya one! Are ya up fer it?"
Mu Tze paused. "That's Mu Tze, not Moose or whatever you said. After you."
"Nah, ya go first. Feel free ta walk backwards if ya think I'm gonna cheat."
Mu Tze shrugged. "Makes no difference to me."
The two young men walked out onto the street in front of the house with
Nodoka, Shampoo and her brother trailing behind them.
Ranma stopped in mid street. "Okay. This'll be our first an' last an' only
meetin' unless yer wantin' me ta blow yer brains out. Everythin's set. Ya
ain't gonna change anythin' by fightin' me but if it gives ya any
satisfaction... OK?"
"Hmph. Very well... Are you ready?"
"Yeah - let's rock an' roll, fuckwit!" Ranma yanked his length of chain out
of his pocket and set it spinning round his hand.
Mu Tze smirked. He shot his hands outwards.
Three sledgehammers, a running chainsaw, two anvils, a safe and a Trabant
explode out of up his sleeves and flew straight for Ranma.
"How the fuck..." Ranma jumped over the car, caught the chainsaw, used it to
deflect the sledgehammers and the battleax then ducked the safe."...Wuz that
up yer sleeve?"
"Nice dodge... dodge THIS!"
'This' was an absolute storm of old nails. They burst out of Mu Tze's coat
like buckshot. And Ranma was smack in their path.
He had time for one explosive "Fuck!' before he was engulfed. Mu Tze
launched a combine harvester after them. The machine smashed down right in
the centre of the mess of nails that had Ranma inside it.
"Good riddance-" he began.
A feral snarl from under the wrecked combine harvester interrupted him.

And that's it for now.

Chapter 19: Of Wolf and Man
"Light a candle for the sinners... Set the world on fire" - Marilyn Manson,
'1996'

"Akira? I know you shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but he deserved far
worse than he got by the end of it. He still ranks as my all time least
favourite person, and you know the competition he's up against..." - Ranma
Saotome, quoted in 'Eye of the Basilisk'

************************************

Mu Tze wheeled back round. The combine harvester he had just apparently
flattened Ranma with was beginning to distort.
"What the blue blazes?"
Shampoo let out an angry snarl. "Learn for to swear!"
The combine harvester exploded.

************************************

Akira jerked his head up.
"What the hells?"
Takashi winced. "Someone's just first changed, Boss."
Akira sniffed at the air.
"Oh, shit... It's Ranma! What the fuck? I could have sworn he was weeks
off!"
Mi Soon rolled out of her truck's cab. "Well, you were wrong! Let's go!"
The trio sprinted round the house.
The scene that met their eyes was that of Ranma, now approximately nine foot
tall, triple his former bulk and decidedly lupine, standing in the middle of
a shredded combine harvester while Mu Tze threw an assortment of
increasingly heavy things at him. Ranma batted each and every object out of
the air, smashing most of them to bits.
"Mu Tze! That idiot!"
Akira started moving to intercept Ranma but before he had got five feet the
biker boy charged, blurringly fast. He smashed into Mu Tze and landed a
powerful uppercut in the Chinese boy's chin. This was followed up by a
roundhouse kick which sent Mu Tze sailing down the street and clean through
a brick wall.
Ranma howled and charged again, heading for Mu Tze's hole in the wall. A
ballpane hammer flew out and smacked him in the face then a safe crashed
into the hole sealing it shut.
Ranma grabbed the safe and ripped it into bits. Akira shoved his hand in
Shampoo's pocket. Before she could even squeak let anone slap him he had
come back out with her Makarov clenched in his hand.
"Wolfsbane?"
"Wha... Is so..."
"Good." Akira levelled the gun and fired a single shot, just as Ranma backed
out of the hole in the wall. The young werewolf had Mu Tze by the hair. He
had already bitten one of the Chinese boy's arms off.
The bullet punched a neat hole in Ranma's other hand. Ranma immediately
slumped to the floor, stunned by the shock of shapeshifting. Mu Tze's
detached arm dropped to the ground with an audible splat.
Akira sighed and walked over to the two slumped youths.
"Let's get them inside."
Mi Soon nodded. "Yeah... is Mu Tze still alive?"
"Just. Idiot's luck... five more seconds and Ranma would have finished
ripping him to bits. Somebody bring the poor stupid kid's arm."
"I should be able to graft the damn thing back on... you got any staples?"

************************************

Ranma glared out the window, carefully keeping his eyes off the Amazon
encampment.
"This is fucked."
He glanced at his leather jacket. It was now crisscrossed with a network of
stitching. From where it had ripped apart when he shapeshifted.
He'd never forget the taste of Mu Tze's blood when he came round.
"I ain't some goddamn cannibal!"
He grabbed a nearby set of practise weights and threw them out the window.
There was a clang then an angry yell. Someone with a Chinese accent bawling
about their truck.
"Aw, great."
He stuck his head out the window. Sure enough, the weights had landed square
on the roof of one of the Amazon's trucks and left a massive dent.
The truck's owner was clutching an AK in one hand and shaking her fist at
him with the other. He suddenly got angry.
"GO FUCK YERSELF, SLAPPER!"
He pulled his head back in the window. A couple of seconds later half a
dozen bullet holes appeared in it. Ranma lost his temper.
He leapt neatly out the window and charged, coming to a halt scant inches
from the startled woman.
He grabbed her by the gun wrist and lifted her off her feet. Her AK tumbled
to the ground.
"I said go fuck yerself." He kicked the gun up and caught it then dropped
her. As she picked herself up he took the gun by the magazine, pressed the
butt against his shoulder then flexed his arm. The magazine ripped out of
the receiver and a couple of shots went off into the ground.
He snarled and ripped what was left of the gun in two.
"Ya don't wanna fuck with me, bitch." He handed her the remains of her AK47
and stormed back into the house.

************************************

Akane shot upright at the first gunshot. She pulled out her .44 then paused.
Hadn't that come from the direction of the Amazon encampment?
There was a distinct sound of rending metal punctuated by a couple more
shots then Ranma came into the house. Hadn't he been in their room?
"Goddamn stupid trigger happy fuckin' Amazon psycho bitch!"
She wheeled round. Ranma was heading for the stairs.
"Ranma?"
"Leave me th' fuck alone! I'm a fuckin' monster, right?"
Akane groaned. "Not that shite again! We're all in the same boat here,
Ranma!"
"Yer not th' one who just woke up with a lump o' some stupid dick's arm in
his gob! So don't gimme any o' that bullshit!"
"Goddamnit, will you listen to me!"
"No I fuckin' won't! I gotta get this crap figured in my own fuckin' head
an' there ain't nothin' ya can damn do! Got it?"
"Ranma, I-"
"FUCKIT LAY OFFA ME!"
"I just-"
"FUCK SAKE!"
"I just want to-"
"FUCK SAKE FUCK SAKE FUCK SAKE!"
"I just want to help!"
"There ain't nothin' ya can do! Goddamnit, I need ta think! C'mon, gimme
some elbow room here!"
He suddenly rushed upstairs. Akane heard their bedroom door crash shut.
She burst into tears. Shampoo came up behind her and put a hand on her
shoulder.
"Akane..."
"GO AWAY!"
"You not need for bite I head off!"
"Oh god, Shampoo! How can you be so damned calm about this?"
Shampoo sighed and sat down on the stairs.
"I not be calm. But I not think about so I not go mental."
Akane let out a low moan. "I'm going for a walk... before I go crazy."
"I see later." Shampoo got up and headed upstairs. She paused outside her,
Akane and Ranma's mutual bedroom door.
Damnit, it was her bedroom too. She quietly opened the door. Ranma was
standing and staring out the window again.
"Ranma?"
"Get outta here. Fer all I know I'm about ta punk an' rip ya ta bits."
Shampoo walked over to him and leant against him.
"You no do. You care for I. I know be true that you not able for hurt I..."
"Aw God, Shampoo... I just dunno anymore. Look, I bit that Moose guy's arm
clean fuckin' off an' it just felt so goddamn right... I still had a lump o'
his fuckin' arm in my gob when I woke up... that wuz why I hurled." The
resistance suddenly vanished out of his body. Shampoo gently shoved him back
onto the bed. He obediently sat down and put his head on her shoulder as she
joined him.
"Shampoo... this stuff ain't easy ta say... but... look, I dunno if I'll be
able ta keep from goin' crazy again... then maybe there won't be anyone
around ta stop me."
"I know. I is in same state, remember?"
"Stop me if I'm wrong here, but ya didn't rip someone's arm off."
"I was aiming for stupid skater girl's throat when you shot I."
"Yeah, but ya didn't!"
Shampoo sighed and pulled her camouflage shirt off. She casually tossed it
on top of his leather jacket.
She pulled the lower hem of her T-shirt up.
"Take look, please..."
Ranma glanced round then stared at her exposed belly.
"In few weeks you be daddy." She grabbed his hand and pressed it against her
belly. "Is nothing anyone can do for to stop."
"What if I go nuts?"
Shampoo sighed. She grabbed her AK from where it was propped by the bed,
loaded it, kicked off a shoe and pressed it's muzzle against her bare foot.
"Is not big chance of happen."
"WHAT THE FUCK'RE YA DOIN'!?!?"
Shampoo pointed her leg and the gun barrel at a wall and fired. She yelped
as a hail of bullets ripped a hole clean through her foot.
"Aaaah... stings... Watch."
Ranma stared as the hole closed up.
"We heal much fast, Ranma."
"Fucking hell... I never figured it'd be that quick!"
"Akira shot you through hand. You no see hole, huh?"
"But what if-"
"Ranma, it no happen. I be round with Makarov. Akane be round with six-gun.
You be round with Browning. If one of we go mental then there be way for
stop, no?"
Ranma shut his eyes for a second. "Yeah... why didn't you..."
"Akira grab gun before I be able for to move."
"Akira shoved his fuckin' filthy mitt down yer trouser leg? I'll bet th'
shithead copped a cheap feel while he wuz about it! That old shit is dead
meat soon as I get this shapeshiftin' under control... Goddamnit, what the
hell kind o' monsters are we? People don't stop bleedin' that quick!"
"So Kasumi no be person, that be what you say?"
"Huh? Where'd that come from?"
"Is - how you say - logical conclusion. If you no person since you werewolf
then what Kasumi be? She daughter of werewolf."
"Oh yeah... Akira did say th' Tendo line're wasnames - Amerai?"
"Is so. This mean Kasumi be werewolf like as not."
"Damnit to hell... But I can't imagine her punkin' like I did!"
"You not usually go crazy. Is shock of having combine harvester dumped on,
that be what Akira and Mi Soon say."
"Yeah? Damn, is that stupid Moose dick still alive?"
"Mi Soon say him live. Is pity."
"How can ya say that? I ain't got th' right ta waste him 'cause he's a
jealous dickhead. Hey, he's an obnoxious twat, but - Fuck it. We gotta talk
ta Mi Soon... an' Akira. An we gotta do it now. We gotta get this shit under
control."

************************************

Mi Soon had just finished stapling Mu Tze's arm back on when she heard Ranma
approaching. And Shampoo with him.
"Ah, so you've woken up."
Ranma grunted. "Yeah, I have. An' I wanna know how ta get this shapeshiftin'
crap under control."
"Ranma Saotome, you already have it under control."
"What th' fuck're ya talkin' about?"
"Once you have finally changed for the first time the shift is under your
control within a couple of hours. Akira aimed his shot so only just enough
wolfsbane to knock you out of the Battle Madness would enter your system."
"Ya what? So how do I do this crap?"
"I suggest you go and splash yourself with cold water, Ranma. And see if you
notice anything different."
"Huh?"
"Just do it."
"Yeah, yeah whatever."
Shampoo narrowed her eyes. "What about I?"
"Ah, Xian Pu. Your case is somewhat different... Ranma hit you with enough
wolfsbane to prevent you shapeshifting for several days... I calculated the
quantity and it should have worn off."
"So what th' fuck's that supposed ta mean?"
"Go and get yourself wet before I fling you in the pond, Ranma."
Ranma snorted and stalked off, muttering obscenities under his breath.
Shampoo glared at Mi Soon.
"{Now look what you've gone and done! I just finally managed to talk him out
of his sulk and now he's raging again! Why aren't you taking him
seriously?}"
"{I am. His curse has also become voluntary now his instincts have told him
how to shapeshift. If he splashes himself I think he's in for a big
surprise.}"
"{You what?}"
"Now, how to shapeshift... Pretend to be a wolf. Run around on all fours.
Come on, growl at me." Mi Soon grinned. "Show me you still care..."
Shampoo shot the Amazon elder a doubtful look. A couple of other teenage
Amazons wandered over.
"{Hey, Xian Pu! Just learning to shift?}"
She nodded. "{Yeah...}"
"{Go on - pretend you're a wolf. It works, really!}"
Shampoo continued her doubtful look but crouched down anyway. "{Grrrr... big
bad wolf... grrr...*}"
Her growl changed. She blinked a couple of times as a tail pushed her
trousers down. She tried to say 'What?' but all that came out was a growl...
Not that she noticed. "[Er, how come I'm still talking?]"
One of the other teenagers laughed. "{Listen to yourself. You're not
talking, you're growling.}"
Shampoo paused. "[Er - am I? Oh yeah...]" She peered at herself, puzzling at
how her perfume had suddenly got so strong. And why everything was in black
and white.
A huge splash then an exultant and very male yell of "YA FUCKIN' BEAUTY!"
came from the direction of the pond.

************************************

Ranma sat down on the bed and pulled his trousers off.
"Man, I'm beat. What a fuckin' day. What a fuckin' week." He grinned. "But
at least I don't hafta worry about the damn curse no more..."
Akane snorted and laid back. "Yeah." She picked her gun up off the table and
slid it under the pillow then paused.
"What the hell's this?"
"Ya what?"
Akane removed the offending object and peered at it. "A tape? It's got 'play
me' written on it."
"Well, what th' fuck're ya waitin' fer?"
Akane shoved the tape into her stereo and pressed play. There was a pause
then the sound cut in on Genma's voice.
"...n the shit that it's over our heads."
Akira snorted. "Genma, Soun - don't let a little setback end your world."
"Little setback?!?!"
"That's the understatement of the year!"
"Boys, boys. Haven't you noticed - Ranma is in the middle of his teens.
Teenage rebellion rules OK. I dare say he'll settle down in the near
future."
Genma snorted. "I wouldn't count on it. He takes after his grandfather in
more ways than one. And you know what Dad was like as well as I do."
Akira snorted again. "Until that big fight."
"Until that big fight," Genma sighed. "But his sacrifice was not in vain."
"Hell, it's thanks to him that we're here today. That's half the reason his
line became the successors - that and to complete the union with the
Moroboshi line."
"I know, Akira. I know. I sure as hell know it wasn't because of me. Genma
'fat dick' Saotome, that's me."
"You've been listening to Ranma swear at you too much, boy. You didn't kill
eighty of our enemies finest in a very messy way for nothing."
"Face it, Akira. I didn't get jack shit for that - unless you count three
bullet holes and a claw slash or ten."
"You defy me too?"
"Yes. I damn well do. Face it, I'm sick of toeing your line. Oh no, I'm not
going to do anything about it, but sure as hell I'm going to make a lot of
noise about it!"
"Watch your tongue, Genma. That's fighting talk."
There was a thud, as of someone fat jumping to their feet. "And I still
don't understand why the hell you had me pull half the stuff on Ranma you
did! I mean, why the hell Jusenkyo? Even though we know exactly what that
place means? And why the deal with Kounji? You damn well know that's going
to cause nothing but trouble - and not for me! For my son!"
"Shut up, sit down and listen to me. Before I rip your face off, boy.
Jusenkyo was simple - several children have undergone their First after a
dip in one of those springs. Kounji is mundane. He can't cause too much
bother - he doesn't matter and neither does his daughter. Mundanes do not
count."
Genma sighed. "Akira, I think you're being too old-fashioned for anyone's
good."
"What you think doesn't matter, boy. What the Clan requires is all that
counts! Your son WILL replace me - there's no two ways about it. And I don't
give a flying fuck about your ill - informed humanist opinions, boy. You
will do what you're told if you know what's good for you."
"I doubt Ranma will see it the same way as you do, Akira."
"What do I care about the boy's opinions?"
"They mean everything where Ranma's concerned, because if you try to force
him to go against them you get him, Ryoga, Shampoo, Akane, Ranko, Mortise
and possibly that Prince Herb character upside the head. Ranma wrestled a
large bear when he was twelve. He killed it. Ryoga is substantially stronger
than him - she could pick me and my bike up and lift me and my bike over her
head when she was thirteen. It's weird - she used to be very weak. Something
happened to her one time she was lost."
"Hmph - you've accepted Ryoga's sex-change very readily."
"Yeah, because I care about my children's feelings! You do know that
Nodoka's got her families katana, don't you?"
"You what? You let her keep it?"
"It wasn't a matter of 'let', Akira. She's as bloody minded as Ranma."
"Why didn't you just forceably take it off her?"
"That's oh so easy for you to say. Trying to take something off of HER? That
would be as good as committing suicide!"
"Oh for- She's Mundane, boy!"
"That doesn't mean very much, old man. Remember which Mundanes you're
talking about there? The Moroboshi family?"
Akira snorted. "We beat them once and we can beat them again!"
"We beat them once by backstabbing, ganging up and playing dirty! But now
they're family so it's a hell of a lot more personal!"
"Now look here, boy!"
"No, you look here. I'm right and you damn well know it! It's not me who
just got his ass kicked, remember?"
"That's not the point. I could have taken him easily and we both know why I
couldn't. He's not ready to know and he just proved it."
"Mortise knows." Soun pointed out. "He thinks very highly of Ranma and I
reckon it's only a matter of time before either he tells the kids or Nabiki
twigs and tells them."
Genma snorted. "Nabiki's already twigged. Why she's not told Ranma I don't
know."
"Absolute rubbish! Of course she hasn't figured out! She's seventeen and a
girl. No way can she have figured."
It was Soun's turn to snort. "You don't know Nabiki. Anything worth knowing
she knows. And this is most definitely worth knowing."
"You're getting worked up over nothing-"
"No we're not. Nabiki's smelt a rat bigstyle and I know it. One of my
contacts told me she was asking about the Saotomes, the Tendos and the
Amazons and getting answers. Answers that happen to be accurate."
"Such as?"
"What we really are. She knows, but I don't know if she believes it."
"She's a girl. Of course she won't believe that!"
"I wouldn't be so sure. She's been scared shitless lately. Any idiot can
smell the fear stink coming off her. Ranma offered to help her and she said,
and I quote 'it isn't something that can be dealt with by beating the shit
out of it.' She knows, all right. How much is suspicion I don't know, but
she does know our kind exist."
"Oh, hell."
Genma snorted. "Well she's one less kid who's going to be scared halfway to
a heart attack."
"That self same shock is a vital ingredient of initiation!"
"I don't see why we need to make our kids think they can't trust us. Ranma
tends to kill people he doesn't trust - and if he had a weapon like that you
would be dead, Akira Saotome. The boy has the best fighting instincts I have
ever seen."
Akira snorted. "Rubbish! I have too much experience."
"Ranma's fought to other people's death sixty odd times, Akira. He knows how
to kill quickly and efficiently - if he needs to. And he killed a guy who
once beat you. Remember that mad master fifteen years ago?"
"For fuck sake, Genma! Your son just isn't ready to know what we are,
damnit! And the crap he gave me just goes to prove it!"
There was a scuffling sound then a thud and straining noises.
"Like I said, sit down and shut up unless you want me to rip your fucking
face off, brat. I respected your father for what he was capable of. But you?
You are a worm. I'm warning you, Genma. You will be punished for defying-"
The tape cut out.
Ranma looked up at Akane. His eyes were positively blazing.
"That fuckin' does it. Akira's gonna die."
"Ranma, are you sure you've thought this through?"
"Nope. If I do I'll leave that piece of shit ta cause Dad trouble! Dad maybe
a stupid fatass piece of boke but he's still my dad an' no bugger's allowed
ta fuck with him except me!"
He pulled his jacket back on and stormed out the door. After casting around
the Amazon camp for a few moments he found Akira chatting with Mi Soon
beside the Amazon matriarch's truck.
"Hey, ya arrogant fuckhead! I just heard some shit an' I don't fuckin' like
it! There ain't nobody fuckin' threatens my dad!"
"What are you prattling on about?"
Ranma laughed. "Ya stupid dick! Ya shoulda figured out someone round here's
a whizz with bugs. Ya remember our little brawl? Th' time I beat ya up?
Well, on th' tape I got it wuz just after then an' ya gave Dad all this shit
I ain't gonna let slip!"
Akira stood up and glared at Ranma.
"You should be careful with your wild accusations, boy."
"Go fuck yerself, shit-fer-brains!"
"Are you trying to start a fight?"
Ranma snorted. "Nope." He launched a kick at Akira's head. The older man
slid round it. "I ain't fuckin' TRYIN'! I'm fuckin' DOIN'!!"
Akira backpedalled. Ranma was working himself into a frenzy.
"Ohshitohshitohshit!"
"SHIT THIS!"
'This' was Ranma's boot. There was a horrible familiarity in the way it
flashed past Akira's face.
"Ohshi-"
Akira tipped over backwards with a line of muddy footprints up his front.
Ranma grabbed a crowbar off the side of Mi Soon's truck and started
battering Akira with it.
"Fuck THIS! Fuck THIS! Fuck THIS!" Each 'Fuck this' was punctuated with a
blow.
Ranma suddenly stopped. He casually tossed the now L - shaped crowbar away
then gave Akira one last kick in the head.
"An' I hope ya learnt ya fuckin' lesson, ya stinkin' bastard!"

And that's another one complete.

Chapter 20: The Shit hits the Fan
"So be it / Threaten no more / To secure peace is to prepare for war. So be
it / Settle the score / Touch me again for the words that you'll hear
forevermore"
Metallica, 'Don't Tread On Me'

"The first battle of Nerima was a key turning point in the history of the
Amerai peoples of Japan; their traditional secrecy was cast aside in the
pursuit of victory at any cost. From that day on nothing would ever be the
same, and the revelation of the truth to the masses was only a matter of
time." - Dr. Minako Shima, 'The Hidden People' published June 2016 by Lupus
Press, a subsidiary of Saotome-Tendo Enterprise.

************************************

Akane glared at the concrete sidewalk as she slouched down the street. The
whole shapeshifting business had her thoroughly disturbed and she had the
'something's going to happen' feeling to boot.
She looked up at the wall, not really seeing anything.
"Why me..."
Being a wall, it didn't reply. Akane shook her head.
"Talking to myself - I must be going nuts."
She found a bench - actually a bus stop - and sat down, put her head in her
hands and began to think aloud.
"When... I wonder who's going to be next? Me? Ryoga? Nabiki?"
She felt for a cigarette then muttered an angry curse as she remember she
was a non-smoker for the next eight months.
"Damnit, Ranma - this is all your fault." She found her packet of chewing
gum and started munching away. It wasn't the same but it helped her think.
*Will I fly off the handle? Ranma did. Shampoo did. I should ask Dad... I
wonder, did Kasumi know about this? No, she was really shocked when Akira
told us.*
A car rumbled past. She looked up and watched it's tail lights fade into the
gathering dusk.
"Hoo, man... why me?"
Her sharp ears caught the mechanical 'slide-chunk' of a handgun being
charged. She stood up and put her hands in her pockets.
*What the hell?*

************************************

The Conservative Amazon warrior named Viper couldn't believe her luck. She
charged her handgun and nodded to her squadmates.
The battle in Joketsuzo had taught the Conservative Amazons a sharp lesson -
bullets don't distinguish between the honourable and the honourless. So her
gun carried a full magazine of wolfsbane tipped slugs.
And now she was looking at one of the Clan Saotome group who had
precipitated the civil war during their short and violent visit to
Joketsuzo.
She jumped off her wall.
"You die, Saotome bitch!"
Akane had long practised her quick draw techniques. Her .44 Magnum's were
out of her pockets before Viper had time to blink. The two guns roared and
Viper staggered back with blood coming out of her mouth.
Akane snorted. "Now who's dead?"
She heard a slight sound behind her - a piece of gravel being kicked. She
snapped her guns round and fired under her armpits. Someone made the
sickening choking noise of a person who's lungs were filling with blood.
Fully alert now, Akane stepped into a patch of shadow. She reloaded her guns
and started scanning for new targets.
Something moved in another patch of shadow. Her guns roared again and an
Amazon fell forwards out of the darkness. She recognised this Amazon - it
was the woman who started shooting first in Joketsuzo.
*Oh man - it's Cow Lone's crew*

************************************

Kodachi downshifted as the corner came up and leaned her Bandit into it. A
wide grin spread across her face as her kneeslider skittered across the
tarmac.
Her headlamp caught a woman falling into the road. Another couple of people
with guns were firing wildly at a darting figure in a trenchcoat who was
having a lot more success in shooting her enemies. A figure she recognised.
"Akane?"
Akane dived left then right as a single headlamp swept over and highlighted
her, backlighting the last of the small group of Amazons. She leapt onto the
wall and snapped another speed loader of ammo into her .44 then let fly the
six rounds at her final enemy. The Amazon staggered back into the glass door
of a phone box. Another batch of ammo in, fire. The glass exploded as the
heavy bullets pounded their target through it. Her danger sense screamed at
her and she ducked forwards then spun round, bringing her foot up in a sweep
kick as she did so. It connected with another Amazon's ribs producing a
meaty thud. She slammed another speed loader into place and snapped the
pistol closed.
A black Suzuki Bandit skidded to a halt at the base of the wall. Akane saw
an Amazon she had earlier shot moving to slash it's back tire. She cracked
off a couple of shots at the woman. One clipped the bike's tail light
causing it to go out in a spray of transparent red plastic.
The rider clumsily shoved her visor open with the back of her left hand,
revealing an aristocratic face which was presently wearing a shocked
expression.
"Akane? What in the world is happening?"
"Kodachi! I've got to get back to the house, fast!" Akane fired another
couple of shots at one of the Amazons who had started to get up. "Goddamnit,
stay down willya!"
Kodachi looked shocked at her language. "Get on the back, I'll take you
there."
"Thanks."
Voices were shouting in Chinese from up the street. Akane swung onto the
back of Kodachi's bike. Kodachi heaved it's bars to full lock and stuck her
left foot out. She gassed the engine while slipping the clutch and the back
wheel spun up, sliding the back of the bike round. Akane wrapped one arm
round the other girl, tugged a Desert Eagle out of her pocket and started
blasting shots off down the street towards where the voices were coming
from. A scream told her at least one bullet had found it's mark.
Kodachi went wide eyed, gunned her bike up and raced off back the way she'd
come from, Akane clinging to her back and still shooting.
Viper staggered to her feet as the bike tore away. She grabbed her other
handgun out of her belt and tried to get a bead on the bike as it raced away
but it darted round a corner before she could aim.
"Damn!"
Three of her fellow Amazons sprinted up as the others began to get up. Two
of them were in Battle form and the third was in human form and clutching
her shoulder.
"Viper! What happened?"
"A Saotome warrior... she isn't much of a martial artist but she sure knows
how to use her damn guns!"
"Shit. Looks like we attack tonight, then."

************************************

Akira carefully got to his feet.
"Goddamnit, how did that boy get so damn strong!"
Mi Soon sighed and shook her head. "So what was he shouting about, then?"
"That? If he was talking about the conversation I remember, well - I got a
bit pissed off with his father. Young Genma is getting as bloody minded as
his son... funny, after what I had Genma do I thought Ranma would hate his
guts."
Mi Soon stared at him. "You *what*? For fuck sake, what have you done this
time, bro? Why the hell make a father mistreat his son? I've never heard
anything so stupid in my damn life!"
Akira groaned. "Et tu, Brutus... what the heck?"
A camouflaged Hummvee had just pulled up outside the Tendo's driveway.

************************************

Mu Tze stared at the canvas and ground his teeth. He looked back at his arm.
It was made of scar from shoulder to elbow. He clenched and unclenched his
fists, wincing at spikes of pain from his damaged arm.
Reattached. That's what Mi Soon told him.
He shuddered.
"{Am I one of them?}"
Someone snorted from the tailgate of the truck. "{One of them, Mu Tze? Well,
your mother is a werewolf, your father was a weretiger... guess what, you're
Amerai. Don't worry, almost all your friends and relations are. Well, not
that you exactly have many friends the way you carry on.}"
He sat up and glared at the speaker. "{Get fucked, Lin-Lin. That fucking
Ranma Saotome character is a fucking monster and you know it as well as I
do!}"
Lin-Lin snorted. "{Bite me, kid. You've done some pretty stupid stuff in
your time, but I must say throwing a combine harvester at a werewolf who's
about to learn how to shapeshift is the stupidest. Anyway, it was Xian Pu's
choice... if he's a monster so is she. She told me she went for someone's
throat when she First Changed. Ranma stopped her apparently.}"
"{Shove off, willya? I don't want or need your bullshit. We aren't in
Joketsuzo any more so forget about giving me any damn orders! I'm going to
get even with that Saotome bastard and there's nothing you or anyone else
can do to stop me.}"

************************************

Ranko made a face. "Eww! That is so sick, Mortise!"
Mortise shrugged. "Well, you did ask."
Nabiki snorted.
Ranko put her feet on the table. "Yeah, but sometimes it's best not to
answer!"
"Look, why did you ask me if vampires have snot if you didn't want to know?"
The doorbell rang. Nabiki set her laptop down and went to answer it.
She found four Amazons, two soldiers and a man in a business suit who she
recognised.
"Colonel! What brings you here?"
The suited man bowed. "Good evening, Nabiki. We need to talk and I don't
trust phone lines not to be bugged."
"Okay, okay. Come on in - but leave the squaddies outside."
The Colonel nodded and turned to his men.
"Wait at the Hummvee, boys. I may take a while, so relax."
The two soldiers nodded. "Yes, sir."
They and their attendant Amazons disappeared into the gloom.

************************************

Akira watched the two soldiers with some interest.
"Curious. I know that suit."
"What, the guy who stayed inside - right?"
"Yes. He used to serve with the Special Forces - Genma's younger sister
Dajiko is in his unit. She invited him and the squad back for a party one
time... I think his name's Katsuhiro Honda."
"I've heard that name. The special forces connection makes sense - he's
supposed to be in charge of the paranormal operations division. I remember
meeting him at some conference or another - something to do with demon
hunters, I think. He's a sharp lad - he figured that half the people in the
place were supernaturals. He was the only human who managed to work it out."
"Would that have been the conference in Hong Kong four years ago? I sent a
couple of my people there - they did notice something to do with the JSDF
now you mention it."
"Ah yes, that was the one. I remember several brawls between your people and
mine; they just wouldn't behave."
A black Suzuki Bandit 600 ridden by two girls - one obviously Akane - zoomed
through the gateway. Akira turned his attention to it.
"Odd. Akane looks pretty shaken up."
"Yes, there's quite a fear scent coming off of both of them. I smell
trouble."
They stared at each other for a few moments then stood up and headed for the
house.
Akane swung off of Kodachi's bike.
"HEADS UP! WE'RE ABOUT TO BE ATTACKED!"

************************************

Nabiki rolled her eyes. She and Colonel Honda were sat in her bedroom.
"Colonel, I have this situation as under control as it can get. The Amazons
intend to stay in Japan if at all possible. And killing Japanese citizens
would rapidly make that impossible. They are not stupid."
"I figured that much, Ms. Tendo. But we've got to look at facts here.
Firstly, somewhere between ninety and 100 percent of First Change Amerai go
into a frenzy. There are - what - sixty odd pre First Change shapeshifters
camped in your back garden. Now that is what I call a situation waiting to
develop."
"We already have that covered, Colonel. Surely you know the effect of
wolfsbane on a shapeshifter?"
Honda paused. "Well, yes. I also know they're loathe to use it for any
reason."
"I'm told that is a tradition, Honda. The Amazons who are, as you put it,
camped in my back garden are in the process of getting rid of as many stupid
traditions as possible. Amerai First under three conditions - extreme fear,
rage or injury. They have to have matured enough that their - how can I put
it - shapeshifting equipment is on line. I'm told it starts to form in early
adolescence, but there's some vestige of it there from birth. Even pre
change shapeshifters heal a lot faster than humans. Wolfsbane knocks out
their conscious control of their shapeshifting ability - the effect can be
likened to cocaine only in reverse. It blocks outgoing signals to the
necessary nerve cells."
Honda nodded. "I know that much. After all, half a dozen Amerai serve in my
unit. They're excellent soldiers - I've seen one of them take eighty 7.62
bullets and he was still going strong. Hell, antipersonnel weapons just
pissed him off."
Nabiki snorted and fished a Beretta out of the back of her trousers. She
dropped the clip out and showed him the slug.
"Honda, you are such a dunce. Seal a blob of wolfsbane juice into the tip of
a hollowpoint round with wax. It basically knocks the target Amerai's
capabilities down to a human level. We still regenerate at the same rate but
it stops us shapeshifting."
"We? You mean you're Amerai?"
"Yup. I haven't gone through First yet but it's only a matter of time. My
brother in law has - just the other day, in fact. Dad's always looked the
same age ever since I can remember so I'd assume he has too - we stop aging
when we First."
Honda whistled. "You mean Amerai are immortal?"
"Take Akira Saotome. He's something like three thousand years old."
"You mean THE Akira Saotome? Head of the Saotome clan?"
"That's the one, though I gather he ain't going to be clan head much
longer."
Somebody banged on the door. It was apparently Ranma since he then shouted
at them.
"Hey! Nabiki! Th' shit just hit th' fan!"
Nabiki jumped up and banged the door open. Sure enough Ranma was on the
other side of it. He was half dressed and looked agitated.
"Akane just got jumped by a bunch o' Cow Lone's goons - Kodachi wuz blattin'
an' got her outta there but sure as shit an' pigs there's gonna be trouble."
He handed her a M16 and a bandoleer of ammo clips. "Ya stick in th' house,
huh? Ya ain't much o' a fighter, huh? Don't worry, Mi Soon's gettin' th'
Amazons on guard an' Akane's riggin' th' guns. Them slugs're Wolfsbane 'uns
- don't hit any o' our crowd, huh? Try ta keep outta trouble an' only start
shootin' if ya hafta."
Nabiki snorted. "Ranma, I live here too. I'm going to do my damnedest to
ventilate any Conservative Amazon freak or creep who tries messing with my
fucking family. Got it?"
Ranma rolled his eyes then grinned and nodded. "Fair enuf. Keep in cover,
though. I may be fast enuf ta wreck people's aim but ya ain't an' Akane'd
kill me if I let ya get shot up." He finally noticed Honda. "Um, scuse me
but who th' fuck are you?"
"Ranma, this is Colonel Honda, JSDF. Colonel, this is my brother in law
Ranma Saotome. Ranma's the heir to the Saotome school of Anything Goes
martial arts. This guy took on three Amerai before he'd First Changed and he
won."
Honda extended a hand for Ranma to shake. Ranma paused, grinned again and
shook hands with the Colonel.
"Well, I'm glad to be on the same side as you, Ranma."
"I wish it wasn't a case o' takin' sides, man. But a guy's gotta do what a
guy's gotta do - ya know th' deal."
Honda paused. To his experienced eye Ranma had that unmistakable air of
toughness only seen in combat veterans.
"Yeah. Ain't easy but that's just the way it is."
"Ya got a shooter?"
"Only my service pistol."
"Right. What sorta gun'd ya like?"
"FN-FAL if you've got one."
"I think we got a couple. Mosta us use AK's but Akane's gotten all sorts o'
gear lyin' around. Sure ya wouldn't be better wiv a machine gun? Battle
rifles are all so good but they ain't gotten th' punch o' a M60."
"You have that kind of firepower?"
"We got better but that's the heaviest gear what nobody grabbed. Akane's
gotten th' bazooka an' Ryoga's gotten th' minigun. I think she's fallin' in
love wiv th' fuckin' thing. Nobody else can pick up th' 25mm cannon an' th'
rest o' us can't handle th' two .50's an' run around at th' same time so th'
Amazons're settin' 'em up. Hey, th' more firepower th' merrier. Ya shoulda
seen Mortise grin when he saw th' flamethrower - it wuz like, love at first
sight."
"Fucking hell... Okay, give us a couple of light machine guns and that FAL.
This bedroom window has a nice view of the street... how do we distinguish
between good guys and bad guys? Especially in the dark?"
"Well, th' streetlights ain't out. Our crew're dressed in camo kit. Well,
that or leathers. I'm expectin' th' bad guys ta be wearin' their Chinese
kit. An' I ain't talkin' CCCP army gear, I'm talkin' traditional gear wiv a
few changes. Akane said th' ones who jumped her wuz wearin' Chinese civvies
an' totin' AK's."
"Gotcha."
"Right, I'll send someone up wiv th' guns. Stick here an' take care o'
yerselves."
He dashed back downstairs. Nabiki and Honda looked at each other for a
moment.
"You'd better call the JGSDF, Colonel."
"I think you're right." Honda grabbed the phone.

************************************

Ranma glanced round the garden. "Right. Stick a few snipers an' one o' th'
.50's on th' roof o' th' workshop. Somebody take a couple o' M60's an' that
FAL up ta Nabiki. Hey! Ya over there - get yer fuckin' camo on!"
The last was yelled at a figure in a T-shirt and jeans. The figure glanced
round and ducked into one of the trucks only to emerge a few moments later
hastily pulling a camouflage jacket on. Ranma's attention was long since
diverted by Nabiki dashing out of the house. "Ranma! They've cut the fucking
phone lines!"
"Shit! Ya tried mobiles?"
"Jammed. Same with the short wave radio. We can't get messages in or out!"
Honda burst out of the house with a hastily scribbled note in his hand. He
dashed over to the Hummvee and handed it to one of the soldiers.
"You two take this to HQ. Give it directly to Lieutenant Otomo. If you don't
I'll have your guts for garters. Don't stop for anything or anyone until you
get to the base and take no notice of any damn speed laws. Understood?"
The two men nodded. "Yes sir." The one in the passengers seat frowned.
"Shouldn't one of us stay with you, sir?"
"No. I have every reason to believe somebody's going to try to shoot you up
on the way. Keep your lights off until you hit the freeway. Don't stop or
slow down unless the Hummvee's shot from under you, in which case steal the
first car you can grab. That is an order and if anyone doesn't like it they
can talk to me later."
The two soldiers nodded again and the Hummvee drove off.
Akira wasn't taking the news of being incommunicado quite so well.
"Phones down? PHONES fucking DOWN? WHAT DO YOU MEAN PHONES DOWN!"
Ranma kicked him in the head. "Can it, shit-fer-brains."
Mi Soon rolled her eyes. "I want a werebird volunteer over here now!"
Two Amazons dashed over from separate directions. Akira sighed and wrote a
couple of notes.
"Okay. Do you girls know where Saotome HQ is?"
Both nodded. Akira handed one note to the nearest of the two. "Take that
directly there."
He turned to the other. "There's a black Dodge van parked near Nerima-ku
railway station; it's quite distinctive since it has military style roof
hatches. Take this note to the van."
The girl nodded. "Gotcha. I'm on my way."
She darted off into the darkness hard on the other's heels.

************************************

Mu Tze glared around the camp. He was now dressed in camouflage gear - as
were the rest of the Amazons.
*The nerve of that Saotome bastard! Bawling at me like he expects me to take
orders! I'm gonna make that bastard pay!*
The fact Ranma hadn't recognised him when he yelled to put on camouflage
never crossed the angry youth's mind.

************************************

Akane carefully placed the last ammo clip on the table.
"Well, that's that done. Thankyou, everyone."
Mao Xing stretched. "Back be stiff..." His back clicked noisily.
Kodachi sat back and scratched her head.
"Hmm. So - would you mind telling me what it is with the wolfsbane? Surely
you aren't expecting to be attacked by a horde of werewolves?"
She blinked when nobody laughed. Akane sighed.
"You got it in one, Kodachi."
"You mean to say you believe in such creatures?"
"Kodachi, I AM a werewolf. I haven't learnt to shapeshift yet, but it's only
a matter of time. Ranma has. Shampoo has."
"Ranma? A monster? I don't-"
"We are not monsters! We are people just as much as humans. It's not what
species or race you are that decides whether or not you are a monster; it's
how you treat other people. A human like Stalin is just as much a monster as
a werewolf like Kou Loun or Akira."
Kodachi bowed her head. "I spoke out of turn... please accept my apology."

************************************

Nodoka swung her rig into the street the Tendo's was on. She carefully eased
the massive machine past the corner and pulled up across the way from the
house.
Armed people in combat fatigues scurried every which way. Nodoka frowned and
picked up her katana. She thrust it's sheath through her belt and climbed
out of the massive Kenworth's cab.
A figure dashed across the street to meet her. "Mum! Ya gotta get outta
here!"
"Ranma? What in the world is going on?"
"We're gonna be fuckin' attacked any time now! Fuckin' nutball Chinese
werewolves, Mum. It's gonna be fuckin' nasty."
"Werewolves? You mean Joketsuzo Amerai? So they're finally facing down the
Saotome clan."
"Ya know about this crap? I thought Mister Akira Hitler didn't think humans
were worth tellin' or botherin' with!"
"Oh, Akira and your father didn't tell me anything, Ranma. It was my father
who told me... when he gave me my clan's honour blade. A long time ago the
Moroboshi clan was charged with protecting Japan from the depredations of
dopplegangers from the Korean peninsula. In the following centuries we-"
"Tell me th' story some other time, Mum. Ya gotta get outta here an' I got a
battle ta fight. Worry about-"
"Ranma, as the heir and champion of the Moroboshi line it is my duty to
fight any supernaturals who endanger my country. I took up trucking as an
excuse to get around Japan. This area is about to be attacked by
werecreatures, ergo I am staying and I will fight. End of story."
Ranma frowned. "Well - okay. It's yer decision but I'd be happier if ya were
well away from here. Ya should leave fightin' ta professionals. This is
gonna be a shootin' war, Mum. Ya sure ya want ta be involved? I mean, ya use
that katana, right? How're ya gonna keep from gettin' blasted ta hamburger
meat?"
Nodoka snorted. "Firearms are the least of my worries, son. Now get out the
damn way - I'm going to block half this street."
"Er - how?"
"Ranma, I drive a forty foot artic. The back's loaded with sheet steel
rolls. That should provide some fairly substantial cover for your friends."
She climbed back into her truck and jackknifed it's trailer across the
street. Having done so she disconnected it from her tractor unit and parked
that square in the street in the other direction. The Amazons immediately
saw what this did and large numbers of them vanished under and into the two
halves of the truck.
Ranma nodded. "Nice one, Mum. I gotta dash - I gotta check out th' defences
th' other side o' th' house. Okay if we weld some o' that steel sheet ta yer
tractor?"
"Good idea."
Ranma grinned then dashed off shouting instructions. A tight knot of Amazons
ran for the two halves of the truck with oxy-acetylene torches.
Nodoka sighed.
"I suppose I'll have to repaint my truck after this."
She stalked over to the tractor and started telling the Amazon engineers how
to do their job.
Ranma dashed back to Mi Soon's truck and swung over the tailgate.
"Well, looks like we're as ready as we're gonna get."
Mi Soon nodded. "Good. Now we wait."
"Yeah."

************************************

Mao Xing checked the clip in his AK47 again despite the fact that it had
been okay the last six times he checked it. He snapped it back into the gun
and glanced at his elder sister. Shampoo was idly stroking the stock of her
own AK. Ranma was standing beside her and scanning the road with a pair of
binoculars. His M60 was propped against the rear bumper of his mother's
truck along with a crowbar. Akane was leaning beside the crowbar and
glancing around nervously.
He sighed and looked at Kodachi who was crouching behind the same rock.
"Is you be certain you okay?"
"I will be alright. I have done my share of clay pigeon shooting." Kodachi
patted the semi automatic shotgun she had chosen. "The workmanship that has
been put into this gun is fantastic; I have every faith in it's
reliability."
"I not speaks of weapon. I speaks of you... you be have look in eye of
person who new to war."
Kodachi nodded. "That is true, but I am of samurai blood. I shall not shame
my ancestors. Although my weapon may be different my courage is the same."
Mao Xing smiled. He wished he felt as sure of himself as she sounded.
Ranma let out a warning hiss. "Here they come!" He let the binoculars drop
around his neck and shouldered the machine gun. "Everyone ready ta fire on
my mark."
Mao Xing slid his gun's safety off and levelled it down the street. Kodachi
cocked her shotgun. Ranma tugged his M60's cocking handle back. Akane
flipped her FN-FAL's safety off and readied herself. Shampoo charged her AK.
All around them they could hear the muted metallic crunches and clicks as
the others readied their weapons.
The seconds ticked by. Mao Xing caught a glimpse of movement in the near
distance. He tracked in on it and sighted at the next pool of light cast by
a streetlamp.
A half dozen armed figures moved out of the gloom. He felt a thrill of fear
as he recognised them and their weapons - Conservative Amazons carrying
AK47's much like his own. Well, not painted black - the Conservatives had
obviously not got camouflage figured out.
Why was Ranma still waiting? He felt an itch in his trigger finger. The
Conservatives kept coming.
He heard Kodachi swallow nervously beside him.
The conservatives kept coming.
He could make out their status badges, the colours of their clothes.
Ranma let out an unearthly battle roar and fired. Nobody missed the hint.

Thus Completus Partus 20.

NOTES
Next - stuff gets broken, people get killed and things explode as the first
battle of Nerima gets underway...
Thanks must go to my wonderful pre reader Paula Gray. She suggested
somewhere around 80% of the chain of events that takes place in this battle.
Thankyou, Paula!
Please send any C&C to dog...@ratbike.org - my phone line is down once more
thus I can only access the virgin.net email address once a week at most.
Thanks.
Calum.

GLOSSARY OF TERMS
Ratbike - A motorbike made to look as fucked up and unroadworthy as possible
while still being street legal. Normally painted flat black.
Honda CG125 - Small single - cylinder 4-stroke road bike. Not very much of
anything but supremely reliable and dirt cheap. It's reliability stems from
having very little to go wrong and a low - revving 4-stroke engine.
Honda Fireblade - Insane Honda sportsbike. Mad but beginning to show it's
age.
Supercharger - A pump driven off the crank that forces more air into the
engine thus forcing it to run faster.
Nitrous oxide - Laughing gas. A petrol - nitrous mix burns faster than a
petrol - air mix therefore produces more horsepower and more wear in the
engine.
Top yoke - The yokes are two pieces of metal that hold the front forks
together and to the bike. The top yoke is the upper one. Known as triple
clamps in the US.
Gixer - Slang for a Suzuki GSXR (one of the craziest bikes built).
Chain lube - Motorbike chain lubrication oil.
Header tank - Tank that contains the spare water for the radiator on a
sealed cooling system as found in most cars.
Gasflowing - trimming off excess metal from inside the cylinder heads to aid
the burn rate of fuel within the engine. Gives a small horsepower boost.
Final drive - the drive chain that goes from the gearbox to the back wheel
and the cogs (final drive sprockets) that it runs on.
Conrod - The bit of metal that connects the piston to the crankshaft.
Alternator - Higher tech version of a generator.
Kill switch - The engine's 'off' switch. Turns off power to the ignition.
Lid / skidlid - Slang for a crash helmet.
250 Superdream - CB250. The next up the Honda model range from the CG125 and
just a bigger version of the same.
500 Superdream - CB500. A CB250 with a bigger bore and heavier frame.
Engine clicking - An internal combustion engine heats up when run. Run it
hard and it heats up more, then when you switch off the engine will start
emitting a series of sharp clicks as the metal cools and contracts.
Stocker - unmodified factory - built vehicle.
Binned - crashed. Normally means written off.
Steering damper - a long, thin shock absorber that fits between the forks
and the frame. Helps steady the steering.